#oh män dont tell me im in love with him

[chilei-the-hotsauce]

OK OK HERE GOES

okay so first of all, its a HE (which is really rare)

his "name" is Scapino (a stock character from Commedia dell'arte), he's an escape artist and a thief

he's missing his thumb and index finger on his right hand. his left hand is missing a middle finger and ring finger. he does have prosthetics for all missing fingers.

a pompous bitch if i do say so myself

SO dramatic. like män, sit down will you

knows how to woo almost anyone. and will use this information too

breaks relationships smh (and wont hesitate either)

a beautiful man tbh

malewaife. no. i do not accept constructive criticism. only cash or credit

probably italian too. so yes, he can cook. best tiramisu in town

dressed really well all the time. which means he's overdressed for most (read: all) occasions. try to overdress him and you'll look like a fool, because he's always the best dressed gentleman around. no one, and i mean no one, dresses better than him.

steals the fancy clothes lol

rarely gets caught by the police. if he does, just vanishes lmao

a gentleman at heart.

such a good listener! gives bad advice tho. i mean, he is a criminal, what did you expect.

tells great stories. most of them are how he escaped from this and this jail with only that and that as supplies. also talks a shit ton about his friends.

speaking of friends, he's gonna remember every single embarrassing detail to use for blackmailing later. a menace to society.

very cultured. but talks like a man from 1800-something. an old-fashioned guy if you will

HE MAY BE OLD-FASHIONED BUT HE'S NOT A DICK. you're trans? do tell him your preferred pronouns, he's intrigued you're gay/lesbian? ooh. he's gonna share his flirting tips if you want you're non-binary? that's lovely! have a celebratory cake he stole you're cis? good for you darling. he's making tiramisu for you later you're ace? understandable. he may have wooed a shit ton of people, but he doesn't really have much of an interest in sex. stolen desserts for celebration.

spoils his friends. so much. usually with stolen desserts but still. it's the thought that counts.

feel free to talk to him about insecurities. as stated somewhere above, he's a great listener. can and will offer you comfort and affirmation. unless you just want to rant. he'll provide tea and whatever snacks you may want to have.

i need to say this as many times as possible: such. a. gentleman.

he's actually very lonely :( but won't confide in anyone. for reasons (stated below)

trust issues. so many trust issues.

a surprisingly ok childhood. mäns just decided to become a thief one day lmao (probably just watched too many old movies)

wants to become a mafioso but probably can't

elegant hand movements galore

the softest eyes. ever. seriously, do not look into them. you will melt

soft cheeks, i tell you.

actually really easy to fluster. not many flirt back to him so AND HE'S SO CUTE ABOUT IT TOO a lil pout and brows furrowed + a glare with no power hehe

his ears go red when he blushes

very smooth hair. but short >:(

doesn't get the chance to shower much, but smells surprisingly good. (HE STEALS PERFUME. THATS WHY)

he doesnt smell very strongly of anything, since his nose is kinda sensitive to strong smells. you really gotta shove your nose onto him if you wanna get a good whiff

uuh, i think he smells like pine. usually at least. depends on what perfume he steals. usually the pine smelling ones.

if he was an animal, he'd be a magpie

loves to gossip. like, spill the tea sis, he's providing snacks.

has a relatively healthy sleep schedule. except sometimes. mäns gotta escape whoever's chasing him at the time.

a pretty light sleeper, because he needs to be always ready to flee the scene if needed. kinda surprised how easily he can fall asleep.

can pick a lock.

really nimble fingers. uses that to his advantage.

the king of picking pockets. & does it with class.

has a cane.

overall, very supportive.

if you ask him nicely to teach you his skills, he gladly will. won't even ask about where you're gonna need lock picking or pick pocketing skills, but won't complain.

very patient while teaching you. praises you a lot too. gives good tips if you're not making progress.

REASSURANCE. so much.

i mean, he reassures you and his friends in so many ways. but he also needs reassurance.

if you two are close, pat his head and give him a smile, it'll be worth it i promise.

when his eyes light up, you are doomed. either because he had an idea that will likely get both of you killed or you just told him he's doing well.

bottom energy tbh (dont let him know i said that)

so soft in private.

his eyes were soft in public? you'll get a heart attack seeing them when it's just the two of you.

his hair is dark brown.

hazel eyes.

HIS EYES + SUNSET?? INSTANT DEATH

wears gloves because he's insecure about his prosthetic fingers :(

hold. his. hands.

last but not least: the most elegant gentleman

I HAVE AN IDEA FOR A OC DSHIABFIADBSIJD