#oh m god. i want to do another read thru so bad but i am just going to press post.

[theloveinc]

if i didn't care (more than words can say) - a dabi / touya todoroki x reader fanfiction—NO QUIRK!college-ish!AU

wc: 7.3k — my longest to date :')

sum: a beautiful but notorious shadow keeps following you home. over the course of some weeks, you eventually get to know him.

a/n: more than anything, this is really just a huge ode to my hatred of graduate school, though since the start of writing this, i admit it has gotten a lot better—hence there being a mixture of characters and ocs included. i don't think i was able to nail this exactly the way i envisioned, in clarity and thematically (and it's wordy as all hell)... but i am still delighted by this concept. i hope it tickles you, as well!

a MAJOR thank you to my beloved @weird-dere-writes for beta-ing this! twyla is a a real one whom i adore like the shining sun.

warning: lighthearted in spirit but DARK CONTENT! features stalking, physical assault and mentions of sexual assault, miscommunication, suicidal ideation, talk of death, gore + general sense of unhappiness/unease. gender neutral but some of the pet names include: pretty, sweetheart, lollipop, cookie, hon, baby + etc., also I think you might have a purse?, HAPPY END!

(read on ao3!)

title credit goes to the ink spots.

enjoy!

The sun has just barely set by the time you leave your final class of the day. Fog seeps from over the distant hills that surround your city, subway tracks murmur from underneath the thick concrete, and car high beams yellow in the fading light of the sun and slate blue sky. 

Your classmates—those who have all left the lecture hall before you to give each other rides home—laugh, their voices echoing throughout the campus plaza as they disperse; the last students of the night to begin their trek home, down the hill that is your campus, and far, far away from you. 

You don’t mind. 

…or you tell yourself, at least. 

Your walk home is pleasant enough, not so close that it doesn’t feel like a trip worth making, not so far that it feels like you’re a freshman again, tearing out of class just to run to catch the bus in time. It’s the perfect temperature where walking is comfortable, and if timing allows, you’ll get to enjoy the sunset as you go. Maybe today you’ll see the funny looking tuxedo cat that stares at you sometimes from the ground floor apartment window of one of your neighbors; you only recently found out that they have a little tortoiseshell, too. 

Besides, while it’s not as though you enjoy your time alone any more than you enjoy anything else in life, home has become a sort of sanctuary, the trip to-and-from, a ritual, from school and the tension that sears your nerves on a daily basis. You still can’t help but wonder why it is that you’re only ever regarded by other students with hateful looks or by plain being ignored, sitting in the front corner of every classroom, freezing from both the weather's cooling breeze and the fact everyone just happened to ice you out by sitting in the back. 

It's no surprise that nor can you ignore it, either.

For as much as you try, which is almost as often as you open your eyes in the morning, you simply haven’t succeeded. Hence why, with the cold air nipping at your cheeks and your fingers numbing from a chill you know will only get worse the longer you stay outside… you suppose you should finally start heading back, too.  

-

You notice them first when you stop to adjust a faulty earbud. 

A figure behind you that stops. Waits. Lingers. More than a block away, under the newly darkened sky and opaque clouds. A street light illuminates their body as they appear to dawdle; awkwardly hovering about a pole, staring at something you don’t see on the ground, trotting a couple steps, and then looking up at the sky.

You glance at them, the way one glances, with one hand pressed to your ear, the other gripping the strap of your bag tightly as you turn your head ever so slightly to look out of the corner of your eye and pray the movement isn’t noticed. 

The figure, of course, freezes–like it’s not obvious, like it’s possible you won’t pick up on the sudden shift from dance to pause, autonomous to marionette, breath to stone. You can’t make out much about them aside from their long, dark clothing as their face is hidden by dark glasses and a hood, but when your stomach knots with something sour, nerves that twist and scream, you know nothing good will come from standing around and waiting to find out anything more. 

You let your eyes shift back to the paved street in front of you slowly, as if you just found yourself caught up in the frustration of skippy music. Then, you start walking again, hoping it was all just some coincidence, illusion, pretending that if you were to look back, the figure would have since simply turned the corner and left you behind, like most people almost always seem to do. 

But you look again. Peek, from the corner of your eye, briefly, like you normally would when no one is there and you just want to make sure… but this time, someone is, and by the time you really catch sight of them (closer now, like they were walking fast, jogging maybe, red light, green light), you don’t want to draw any more attention to yourself and turn back before you can make things any worse. 

Your heart beats. Your breath shudders. You flex your fingers where they’re held, stiff with terror, wondering: is this really happening? What should I do? Am I crazy? 

It’s five more blocks until your house. Three stop signs, then two traffic lights. One liquor store, and an empty cafe that has already closed for the day, filled with stacked chairs and little mice you sometimes catch scuttling by the edge of the curb. You live by a school, but since it’s already dark, there will maybe be a total of four cars that pass you by. Maybe. Then there’s a trek up a short hill before you finally reach your street. 

You wonder, not once slowing your step, if this is something you need to be worried about, if you’re really being stalked like you’ve always been warned of before, if anyone would even care if you didn’t show up to class tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after that… and then, despite the whisper of your unconscious telling you not to be so self-involved, no one wants you, anyway, you increase your step. You want to look back, confirm what you think is happening, face a fight you don’t think is fair but haven’t yet decided whether or not you want to win.

But you don’t, thinking you can almost hear their footsteps now, though maybe you’re just confusing them for the wild thump, thump, thump of your heart and the catches of your breath. And when you check back, they’re half a block away but feel closer than ever, eyes on you and hands halfway around your throat though they’re still hidden deep in their pockets. 

You feel a little like hurling, a bit more like giving up and letting them have you (though you’ve only ever written a suicide note, never a will)... but the creature of fear in you ends up prevailing, throwing it’s tentacles up through your gullet into your brain and dragging you into the depths… just as you say a prayer for the first, or any, god willing to listen. 

And then you start running.

Heft your bag over your shoulder, suck in an icy breath and charge forward into the night, past the three stop signs and through the red of each stop light that blares at you, really the only thing that seems to acknowledge you as you refuse to waste any time looking back. 

Self preservation is one hell of a drug, you only manage to briefly think in between gulps of air, your cheeks stinging with the breeze and your feet beginning to grate and blister against the friction of shoes that aren’t meant for running. You figure at this point you’re more likely to trip and crack your skull open on the pavement than be caught and dragged away by some freak with a violent agenda. Would that really be so bad? 

But your answer quickly arrives in the form of making it home and climbing the stairs so fast you manage to forget the thought entirely, along with most of the rest of the world aside from the few people you come up with (and proceed to scratch out) when determining who, if there's anyone, you can call for help.

It's inside, silent and alone in the dark, you try to process what just occurred for so long that eventually your roommate comes home from their shift at the bar. It’s only at their surprise from seeing you still awake (ghostlike, on the couch) that you realize hours have passed in the span of what felt like only seconds, minutes, the metronome of a few steps home–and that you hadn’t actually processed anything at all. 

You go to bed that night, not having eaten but not hungry, still feeling the phantom sensations of your bounding footsteps on hard concrete, cold sweat sliding down the slant of your neck, and the feeling of a man just inches from your putting his hands on your back. 

-

The next day during lecture, you are awoken from a hazy daydream by a notification on your phone.

Campus Creeper Found Passed Out in Uni Plaza. 

You blink, exhausted after an adrenaline crash made worse by your night of haunted sleep, eventual overheating, and your roommate taking a shower at four am. You were happy to even drag yourself out of bed this morning and make coffee just tolerable enough not to spit out all over your kitchen floors. 

Local man, you read after clicking, deemed the “campus creeper,” was found passed out on the Student Union steps early this morning. Identified by a member of student patrol at Mustafu University, the man’s name has yet to be released to the public as it appeared he was suffering from a number of wounds, mostly external. 

Despite condition, students have taken to social media to express their relief, as the man has reportedly been following students—

You stop reading, having hardly even processed the words, really, as you try to shake off the fog that keeps you from really understanding what the words are telling you. 

A tightness settles in your stomach, heavy and painful with a nausea you can’t shake, a question you don’t yet realize: is this the same person, same man, who scared you half to death last night by trailing you all the way home? It’s unclear from the article, the timing, the picture with his blurred out features… and the fact that he must've been dragged all the way back up to school because he was found nowhere near your home. 

While you assume you’ll be more excited once the new sinks in and the nerves turn to consolation (and the person to your left stops chattering into the ear of the person sat behind you), you can’t help but shoot to your feet and run to the closest bathroom in a panic, trying not to hyperventilate looking at yourself in the mirror in between splashing water on your face. 

-

The day has once again fallen into night. Your bag is heavy with the weight of books and pens and your schedule notepad that has all your plans for the rest of the week and even the month beyond that. Today, however, the clouds don’t creep and instead, you see stars, maybe only a handful or so, one airplane too, as the sun descends in a tender calm and the windchill greets your cheeks once more. 

You walk, out of class and down the ancient steps of the building, start descending the hill down to the first busy intersection of streetlights where the president of your school was once hit by a car. 

It’s not three blocks into the way home, however, that a shadow appears once more. Distantly, though you’re sure it’s calculated enough so as not to ring as intentional no matter how much you know it is, and can feel it in your bones. 

You thought he had been caught. The creeper. 

You hadn’t realized you were so relieved by the thought. It slipped your mind, the celebration over as quick as it started under the weight of all your schoolwork and the dirty looks your classmates sent you after you came back from dry heaving into the bathroom sink. Maybe it was a different guy they caught, you wonder, then kick yourself for being so naive as to think that maybe you’d been spared. 

Of course not, you think. It’s never that easy, is it? 

Panic once again bubbles up in your throat, anxiety pooling in your stomach like something hot melting through stone, and tears start to sting at the center of your eyes. You do your best to ward away the urge to collapse, instead trying to focus on the fact that everything was fine yesterday and tonight’s just another dream you’ll wake up from again tomorrow…though by now you know it’s not. 

It is easier, this time, however, to begin to run, to bounce on your feet with a purpose you hope isn’t any more transparent than your fear. You’re happy that today you managed to pack light, skipped filling up your water bottle, and happened to put on your sneakers instead of your slip-ons, as if you didn’t spend half of your entire morning trying to convince yourself that potentially saving your own life was a good thing.

By the time you make it to the door, chest heaving with a wheezing heat as your hand shakes the key into the padlock, when you turn back to look one final time before ducking inside, still gasping for air, the shadow is no longer behind you. 

-

The creeper is getting braver, you notice. 

It has been weeks since the shadow appeared and the following began. One week of that same distant trailing which had you sprinting like some sort of track star, two weeks of running only the last block home, locking every single bolt on your door (then unlocking when it was time to let your roommate in), and three in total of squinting behind you in stinted moments and wondering what you see. 

You think his hair is white. 

Now though, tonight, he stays not a block or two behind you but rather, less than fifty feet. You can make him out—see now the faded black of his jeans and the red of his chuck taylors, dirty. He’s young-ish, you think, more noticeable than before, and skinnier–though maybe your eyesight has just gotten worse, or the memories have faded in trying to spare you from another trauma, maybe even from awakening any of the first ones.  

You wonder how he was able to speed up, where he was waiting for you, where he came from that first night, the second, and now. And you wonder why you’ve stopped running as fast, even if you’ve been trying to leave campus earlier and earlier as if that will keep you any safer from walking home at night. 

(You had remained after class one night to ask your professor a question you no longer remember, and a wispy haired girl sneered at you so badly you ended up weeping on your way out the door. Not only did it kill your urge to ever stay longer on campus than you needed to, it also caused a wane to your desire to even arrive home at all). 

-

One day, the creeper catches up. 

Reaches, like he’d be able to touch you, smiles, like his canines are sharp enough to chew through you…hopefully in one bite if he was even able to swallow that much. Maybe he is. 

But you swat back when he does. Hoist your bag in close. Glare over your shoulder. Then speed up, and your lungs tighten into stone almost immediately when he speaks.  

“Hey—” 

“Get the fuck,” you screech, turning back just enough to say the words despite not knowing if you’d even be brave enough to let them out, to get away unscathed, “away from me!”

The shadow, however, instead of shrinking into disparagement like you so hoped… laughs, skipping towards you, laces flying, smiling wide. 

“Aw, c’mon,” he jeers, to which you wince as you try to stomp away from his pull. That is, in between your attempts at keeping your eyes on him so that he doesn’t pull anything else fast, or deadly. 

“I swear to fucking god. I will call the cops.” 

Another laugh, his footsteps now lighter, his voice switching to something airy and cool.

“Don’t be like that, pretty.” 

You barely look, but you see a flash of red as he kicks out his foot, the curl of a grin pulling one side of his lips lopsided as he lazily trots to match your hurried pace. 

You want to start running, to disappear, dissolve—anything to stop things from developing further into a conversation and your possible demise—but he catches up to you again before you can even try to skirt away in any direction other than forward. 

“You noticed quicker than I thought you would,” he almost hums, the words exposing the soft, pink tissue of his gums. “‘didn’t think you would.” 

There is a question in his statement, though his voice doesn’t lilt and only his eyebrows give it away, quirking, stretching, falling, the piercing on his left one along with it, when you slow down (hardly, still breathing rough and nervous, not wanting to look) but don’t respond. 

“Most people…” he shakes his head, “eh.”  

“What?” you stop your stride, more out of surprise than want, and stare at him despite how distinctly you avoid catching his eyes. “Like people don’t know when they’re being followed?” 

“Nah,” he says, his mouth remaining open after, humorously, like you’re supposed to get the joke, think it’s cool, that he’s a zombie, maybe. Something. “Like I thought you wouldn’t care.”

You cross your arms, blink at the ground in trying to hide what is most likely a stupid looking pout in your failing attempt to get hot and angry. You shouldn’t even be speaking. “I care when creepy people follow me.” 

He laughs again, raspy and free. “It’s been weeks.” 

You don’t want to give him the satisfaction of looking at him, but you look at him anyway. Truly focus on the mop of messy white and black streaked hair atop his head, the stained, canvas jacket with extra pockets and copper zippers, and his smile; the delicate, creased skin of his jaw that fades smoothly up his cheeks and down his neck. He isn’t bare of a good amount of piercings, either: he’s got all sorts metal in his ears, nose, and dimples, as far as you can tell by simply looking at him

He’s not really all that creepy-looking after all. To your surprise (and slight disgust), in fact, you find he’s somewhat… handsome.  

You swallow. 

“It’s been three.”

“Hm, baby?” 

You tense, the claws returning, this time aiming for your heart, shredding it open, every insecurity lighting aflame when he smiles that smile again. 

“Three weeks. That’s how long you’ve been stalking me,” you say.

There’s a pause, a shift, something you don’t catch and can hardly read. Then, he rolls his eyes, shoving his white knuckled fingers into the pockets of his coat. He doesn’t move otherwise, doesn’t even look angry, or as though he’s going to take any steps backwards or forward, and not like he’s going to lunge at you as if you’re prey and there’s an animal in him that he’s already promised food.

You feel otherwise, though he shakes his head with a ‘tsk. “I’d say stalking is a little harsh.” 

You’re not sure why you object, “But–” 

“I don’t stare into your window,” he taunts, “don’t have your number, don’t send you stupid love poems every night and every morning that say,‘I love you, be mine!’” He pretends to sing-song, 

You can feel the irony, hear the chuckle but turn anyway to resume your walk into the night. Briskly. Refusing to look back and acknowledge the stranger you’re not sure wants to kill you.  

“I don’t throw rocks at your window,” he continues to call after you, “or approach you in cafes and pretend you’re crazy when you scream.”   

“Then leave me alone,” you shout, hoping the wind carries it far enough behind you to reach him, though you shiver still. 

You don’t see it, but he shrugs. And surprisingly stays where he’s put, watching you try not to look like you’re peeking at him before nearly tripping on your own feet. You’re not sure if it’s a relief.

It’s the first night since first learning of him that you’ve walked home alone. 

-

Later, you learn the creep has two names. 

It’s been five weeks now, just after winter’s turn, the clouds not so big anymore but often dense with the slightest bit of rain you enjoy only when you wake up in the middle of the night too scared to go back to sleep.

The creeper, the shadow, your stalker, basically lives behind you now, grinning whenever you glance, dancing whenever you glare; it’s like he soaks up your, any kind of, attention like a bonfire being doused with gasoline. You’re still scared, unknowing of what he wants, but now that you’ve spoken, there’s somewhat of a static that’s settled, too; it’s tense and awkward, but the horror of it all is stagnant in build, in wait for the spark to light and set your whole world ablaze.

Though he finds you again, two red lights in, halfway to your house. 

“Hey,” he says, following with your name. 

You immediately shudder, jerking away from him in surprise as if there’s anything else you could do, but he just laughs that laugh of his, undisturbed he’s now talking to your back. 

“Where’d you learn that?” you snap, but you can practically hear his grin when he responds. 

“Got classmates, don’t you?” 

Most of your classmates ignore you half the time, the other half just roll their eyes. Most of your classmates laugh whenever you speak, the ones who don’t have made you cry in front of your professors. 

“They wouldn’t piss on me if I was on fire.” 

“I would,” he says, pausing as if he’s some sort of pensive, then giving you a look that assures you he’s up to no good,  “and they gave me your name. Ibara, Setsuna, Yui–I could go on, you know?”

You’re surprised. You’re disgusted. At him, at them, and you gape, the only thing you can think to do under a circumstance that implies no one has any regard for your safety and yet, hardly leaves you surprised. “I think I’d rather just die.” 

“That’s not true,” the creeper laughs, seeming oddly sure of the answer. You’re too nonplussed to decide if he’s right. 

“I hate you,” you try instead. 

“You don’t even know me.” 

And it’s no nice to meet you, but the words slip out before you can stop them. 

“So, what’s your name then?” 

He hesitates, sucking on the piercing on his bottom lip before letting it pop back out in a sneer that shows pointed teeth. You’re not sure if he’s meaning to come off as upset or pensive, bitter or just plain rude. 

“Dabi.” 

The words fall off his lips, snappy and hot, like you’re lighting the burner on an old stove, or flicking a match against a matchbox for the first time and getting surprised when it sparks.

You pause, peeking over your shoulder. “‘gonna cremate me once you kill me?” 

This time, he doesn’t laugh. “Maybe,” he says, then when you don’t react, “no.” 

Your foot taps the ground when you look forward again. “You should really think about changing it, then.” 

There’s a pause, a shift in clothes and in breath despite the pace at which you walk. You feel nervous, awkward the way one does when someone catches you with bad hair, or wearing the last clean clothes in the house on laundry day. You’re not sure why you care so much about a man who clearly does not care about you. Or does… in the same way a farmer fattens up a chicken for slaughter. 

“Call me Touya, then,” he says, his eyes dark. “That’s what my ma calls me.” 

“Touya,” you repeat, sounding the word out on your tongue soft and slow. Lamp. Arrow. A name from his mother. Your lips wrap around it, caress the warmth of the dip, the bend, the aim… and his face breaks into that knowing, wolfish grin. 

“Yeah, sweetheart?” 

You freeze, one foot freezing in the air, and he bursts into a rasp of laughter so loud your eyebrows immediately shoot up and almost off your head entirely. You go in to shush him like you would as if you were accused of something embarrassing, your expression morphing into a deep frown, and his own lightening with humor but still twisting with something hidden, something you really hope is not satisfaction. His lopsided smile falls just the slightest when he sees you readjust your bag and start, almost, stomping away. 

He lets you find distance, of course, he’s always been a shadow not a stable fly, but Touya once again resumes his lazy trailing, joyously humming now, the sound echoing in your ears much longer than it probably should as he falls into a careful step behind you just as he always does… until you eventually make it home. 

-

At six weeks in, he finally drops you off at your house. 

Normally Touya stops his trail about a block or two before you make it, today, however, by the time you’re on the stone steps leading up to your front door, he’s a mere ten feet from your side like a chivalrous date making sure you get home safe (or like someone intending to grab your hands when you’re opening the door and rush in after you, as if to mount you right there on the floor). Your knees wobble on the first step when he speaks, though he remains standing politely next to the fire hydrant by the curb, playing with an unlit cigarette in between his fingers. 

“Got any roommates?” 

You stop, keys dangling from your fingers as you refuse to turn back and look. 

“Yeah,” you say, staring at the chopped firewood on your porch as you let the silence sprawl. You would’ve said the same even if you didn’t. 

“Good. Smart cookie.” 

Your stomach twists. Your face burns. He bounces on his heels. You can’t move. 

“That bakery down the street,” he begins again, nodding his head when you peek at him, barely. “It got food?” 

You squint, your stiff hands cold and tight, his in his pockets. 

“Um.” 

He waits. 

“It’s got mice.” 

Then he bursts into laughter, quickly quieting to suck his teeth and kick a foot forward like he wants to say something but doesn’t know how. There’s a part of you that knows you need to stop indulging this man, for your own safety and sanity, but there’s another part that also doesn’t flip when you think of the possibility of dying. Instead of going inside, you kick your own feet out and ignore your trepidation. 

“Why?”

“Wanna get dinner?”

He grins, and you hate the thought as soon as it arises, but it’s lovely; he has the smile lines of someone who has lived a happy life, and he looks so pretty you almost want to cry. 

(Today he’s dressed in dark, stained jeans and dirty boots. His hair is still a white and black mess and his smile is boyish and toothy. It sends a current up your spine that makes you jerk when you turn back to face your front door.)

“Piss off.” 

You shove your key in the lock to ignore the way he responds with a chuckle as his farewell, goofily waving when you manage to get the stupid thing to turn and yourself inside (which you notice only when you turn to slam the door closed and the curtain ripples). 

But later, when you spare one more glance, the way one glances, out of the window of your living room as if to merely check the weather, Touya is smoking his cigarette on the street corner. 

-

Campus Creep Caught Hanging Around. 

Busted, but this time, not blue! The attacker who was dubbed the “campus creeper” by Mustafu University students was spotted once more about a mile away from the local school. A local cafe owner claims he saw the man being followed by another of a similar size, but is  unsure if the two men are of a related circumstance or other. 

He reports that the neighborhood has been in good spirits lately, so this comes as a shock. As we continue to find out more, the public will be updated—

-

Today your shadow is waiting for you at the end of the block. You spot him from out of the third story window of your classroom, feet sticking halfway off the curb and a lit cigarette between his lips that curls pretty, silver smoke into the golden blue light of the nighttime air. 

“Hey, need a ride home?” one of your classmates asks beside you, the one that has your same name, shocking you out of your stupor as they tap the fingers of one hand against your table and swing their car keys around in the other. 

You can barely tear your gaze away from the window to look at them; their flushed face, their short curls, tight and bouncing, and their awkward, half-assed attempt at generosity. You wonder if this is some kind of exercise they were told to practice in therapy. 

“I heard about the campus stalker,” they continue without prompt. “Shihai and Kinoko are coming too, but you can squeeze in the middle, if you want.”

Their smile looks almost pitying. 

“Uh,” you blink, a little stupefied, a little shy. “It’s alright, but thanks.” 

They raise their eyebrows. “Isn’t your neighborhood a ways down by that cafe?”

“Yeah,” you nod, pausing to flick your eyes upward, “But I, uh...my friend is gonna walk me.”

You point toward the window, where your shadow, Dabi, Touya, whoever, has stopped smoking and is now bent over (teasing, most likely, with a gray-tinted shoelace) one of the mouser cats owned by the keepers of the small temple that sits snug at the back of your school.

You’re not exactly sure when he morphed into your friend. You don’t even think he has yet… but the words feel natural, eager, and easier than sliding onto leather seats in between two people who have never once looked your way with a nice expression and probably never will. 

“Oh good!” same-name laughs, tipping their head back in a way that almost seems exaggerated. “I was scared someone might try to nab you. Not anymore, though.”  

You’re not quite sure if they’re joking, but you try to smile and nod along anyway.

-

By the time he catches up to you that night, he’s half out of breath.

“There you are,” he says, grinning that stupid, wolf-like grin. “‘thought maybe you’d left out the back. Would’ve had to run to catch you.” 

You frown, readjusting the weight of your bag on your shoulder like always, distracted as you multitask trying to make sure your water bottle hasn’t leaked as you run through a list of things to remember as well as double check that you haven’t forgotten anything inside.

 “The north wing is halfway around campus,” you purposely avoid mentioning you took the long way to skip the corner where Touya usually stands. Instead of his face, you stare at the ground instead, by now resigned to the torture of waiting for your end… even if you’re secretly a tad disappointed he hadn’t brought the cat with him. 

“So?” Touya doesn’t look perturbed when you finally face him, almost as if he was waiting for you, “’woulda caught up eventually.” 

You make a note to add that to your list of things to remember, raising your eyebrows. 

“Why?” you ask, and then before he can tease, “Why bother, I mean?” and you can tell he must think you’re joking by the way he doesn’t answer, instead responding by flattening his face–his eyes sinking back into the cozy crevices where they rest and the skin of his chin tightening with exasperation as dry as tinder.

You try not to be too perturbed by it, instead of pressing him for answers, simply turning to set back off as if that will stop the eye roll he’ll give you behind your back and change his mind about following you home. But, as always, or at least, as of more recently, Touya waits a mere five steps before starting right along behind you like the shadow his is. 

-

“What do you want from me, Touya?” 

You ask the question one day, finally, two and a half months in. Classes aren’t over yet, but the end of winter semester is fast approaching. The words seem to scratch at your throat, their destination apparent even if you find they’re hard to spit out and burn on their way out. 

“What?” he asks, falling into a perky step beside you. He’s been that close everyday for the last two weeks now. And now, pressed up against you, near hopping like you’ve been friends for years, he doesn’t back away from the inquiry. 

You’re tired. Sick of waiting. Sad that you let this whole thing last so long when you’ve been quite aware of your impending doom (not that you ever told anyone, not even your roommate) and have done little to try and stop it.

“You wanna kill me or something? Take me home so you can fuck me then run me over?” 

Touya’s footsteps slow, and he halts (for the first time ever of his own volition) a little ways behind you. He’s not as tall as you initially thought him to be back when he kept his distance, but you’ve also since learned that his eyes are the prettiest cyan you’ve ever seen, and his scarred skin is soft and pink. Silver piercings adorn his cheeks like dimples, scars cutting the two different textures right in half. 

“No,” he says, then half heartedly and calm, “you know I’ve done enough of that, already.” 

You glance at him, pulling your head back in a half-horrified glare. But instead of the only half-serious expression you’re so used to seeing on him, however, you find a shit-eating smirk on his face that tells you he’d laugh if he weren’t so obviously trying to yank your chain by not doing so at all. 

Still serious, he jumps at you though, eyes opening wide, hands outstretched and twitching like a monster in a cartoon out to grab you, and you hop back like he’s on fire. No sooner does his face fall that he glances at you as if waiting for some kind of reaction, positive review, happy Halloween (even though it’s ages before Halloween). 

When you stay silent, the hands on your chest not falling, your expression still one of terror but to him quite bitter, he rolls his eyes so far up that only the white are showing. 

“I’m joking,” he says, his baby ocean blues coming back down to settle right on you. “Obviously.” 

You pause, standing still, trying to breathe, comprehend the, the, the predator that has been following you so closely for what you finally conclude has been months now. 

All those torturous moments, since that first night of running, all amounted to something even he won’t name. A silent end, for someone as lonely and pathetic as you; it’d almost be fitting, except for the fact that there’s no specific reason for it to be you. You’re a nobody, friendless and unhappy, waiting for the day you finally graduate and can leave this shitty city behind. It’s not like it ever kept you safe. 

“Then what?” you ask.

You feel resigned, defeated, undermined… yet he looks at you dumbly, as if you’re supposed to know something you clearly do not, and while you’d normally be embarrassed, you find you’re too worn down to care. Touya raises his brows sharply, the bruised-looking (but delicate) bags under his eyes shifting slightly with the tension of an annoyed frown as his voice strains to mock you. “What do you mean, ‘then what?’” 

Your face goes slack, and you think you’d try to hit him if you knew that wouldn’t end up with you on the ground or sobbing alone at home. “Seriously, Touya? We both know you’re stalking me.” 

He laughs dryly, one of the few times you’ve seen him so serious (the last time when he pointed out something dead on the pavement you had to stop him from trying to pray for. ‘I don’t even go to temple,’ he had said at the time, sounding so offended that you decided to drop the subject altogether and just let him go for the little dead bird he said he wanted to give to a friend). “I’m not.” 

“You are. I know you are. You…” 

“I can assure you, hon, if I were stalking you, you’d already be roadkill,” he twists one of his earrings, making a show of staring at the painted nails of his other hand, dark purple, before tsk-ing at you, sassy. “Not like you run from me, anyway.”’

You feel your stomach turn in embarrassment, in shame. You know he’s partly right, but you’re not about to admit that to the man who started it in the first place, who chased you home that whole first month, who, despite the familiarity you share now, still takes pleasure in your pain. 

“Because, because no matter what I do, you won't quit chasing me. I’ve been running from you. ‘Cos you won’t leave. Me. Alone.” 

Touya rolls his eyes, then sighs like you’re being a hassle. “If you really didn’t want me here I woulda left. I’m not stupid.”

“But I don’t want you here. I never did. You show up out of, of, fucking nowhere, acting like you know me—”

“I’m keeping you safe, lollipop,” he interrupts, though the words hardly register.

“Safe? As if it’s my fault you can’t leave me alone?”

You think of all the nights that had you near paralyzed with terror, from that first day onward, of rubbing your feet raw in your shoes, of wishing someone would come save you, of puzzling why you never ended up dead, to now. You never once thought, realized–

“Not your fault. His. The neighbor stalker.” 

You can barely respond, your arms shaking at your sides, eyes watering with distress. 

“But you, you’re…” 

He smacks his lips with a yawn. 

“Yeah, I beat him black and blue, maybe. But only cuz he was trailing you, I wouldn’t…” he shoves one hand in the pocket of his coat, waves the other dramatically in the air, “go after someone unless—” 

“Touya?” you question, your throat rough, your swallows heavy and thick with a syrupy confusion. 

“They did something real bad, like messed with a—“

“Dabi.”

He finally looks at you, the sheen in his eyes, for once, solemn, as if he harbors a genuine concern for your safety all brought on by your confusion. 

“What?” 

It’s a question he asks a lot, but this time, he seems to mean it. 

“Dabi,” you repeat, “you mean… you’re not the campus creep? The one on the news?” 

He gawks at you suddenly. The silence stretching, the night suddenly looming, the breeze even seeming to laugh. His disinterested expression begins to fade into a blank, unreadable nothingness… and then he howls. Hoots. Yells. His smile returning then, wide, blazing, hot. 

He laughs like you’ve never seen anyone laugh before, guffawing joyously and jollily, slapping his hands against the ripped holes of his jeans as his chest heaves underneath today’s thin, white tee. 

It’s almost contagious. Almost. 

“And here I thought we were bonding.”

You prickle like a cat, digging your toes into the tips of your worn out shoes. “Stop it. I’m being serious.”

“You’re tellin’ me,” he manages in between snickers, “you thought I was the creeper this whole time?” 

“You’re not?”

“That guy?” Touya straightens up to wipe his eyes, and you finally notice the crow’s feet that crinkle around his eyes, “Hell no. You think I do this for fun? Wear fuckin’ ugly hats and shit to terrorize pretty students at the school my ass of a little brother attends?” 

You say nothing. He starts laughing again, clapping his hands and keeling over. Even in jest, his voice still has that soft, raspy charm as he hoots at the ground. 

“Dabi. Touya. Whoever you are,” you plead, the first time ever you think you’ve voluntarily gotten closer to him, grabbing the rough shoulder of his jacket and tugging. He stumbles, maybe more on purpose than because of your grip, closing the distance between you such that his chest is pressed against yours and his hands are on your hips. “Tell me the truth. What’s going on?” 

He snorts, the only difference in sound now that it’s muffled by the closeness of your lips, but responds slowly nonetheless.  

“I beat the snot,” he emphasizes, exposing teeth, “out of your stalker. And you didn’t even know he wasn’t me.” 

“But…” you say, hesitating against him, your hands slipping from the stiff collar of his jacket to the front of his chest, confused. His eyes are as cold as ice but set you on fire when you meet his gaze.  “You didn’t have to. I mean, I woulda been fine, right?” 

He doesn’t look entirely convinced. “You tell me, when you’re the one still trying to walk your stupid ass home alone at night.”  

You flush, cheeks heating the skin all the way down to your neck. Touya seems to have clocked you far better than you ever knew it yourself–that he was never the enemy, that you were trapped in a self pity so deep only he could drag you out of it before choking, that dying, being tortured, being stalked, was far from the punishment you needed to get that kind of smoke out of both your lungs and your head. 

And, if anything, that you were lucky to have him.  

“Yeah, yeah. I don’t care.” Touya steps back only to purposely step gently on your toes. When you glare at him, hand still stretched  out to link the two of you together somehow, he only grins. “Buy me dinner to make up for it. Or kiss me sometime. With tongue. Either’s fine, cookie.” 

-

It’s been six months. Summer is just about to begin, your roommate has already left on vacation, and the closer you get to the end of the season, the more you feel your worries begin to melt off of you like layers upon layers of frost on an icy window of a warm cabin. 

The shadow still walks you home, but he no longer trails behind you, and you no longer call him a creep. You call him Touya–now your lamp, now your arrow–and sometimes Dabi (that is, when you feel like he’s not listening). 

Though the sun now sets a whole hour later than it did during winter, excusing as much of a need for Touya’s presence in your routine, you have now welcomed him into it,  (even if you spent the first couple months of your real relationship trying to make up for your initial confusion at his presence with bowls of soap and burnt bread from the cafe near your house.)

It is a Thursday when a wispy-haired classmate comes up to you on the steps that lead away from campus. She’s the one you knew vaguely from elementary school in your distant home town, and who made herself reacquainted by sneering at you once for eating a candy bar in class; she bared fangs at you like she herself had never been hungry, and then ignored you every time you saw her after (even during assigned group work, when you realized she wasn’t even that intelligent). 

But, now, you know, Touya can sneer, too, and sneer for you in ways that light a fire in the hearth of your existence… and he does so, sharply, arrogantly, when she approaches underneath the fading light of the sun and slate blue sky. She looks almost scared, even more so of his smile, big, wide and scary—that is, until you interrupt the moment by calling out to her from behind his back. 

“You ever heard about the campus creeper?” you ask, to which she nods anxiously, big, wet tears welling in her eyes as she hobbles right over to your side, Touya already barking into the warming night air as he begins to walk you both home. 

[skywxikers]

Do you think Hunter is going to die? If so, how do you think it happens?

If not Hunter, do you think anyone else will? Who and why or why not?

Id put this as anon but youd know who i am anyway

OH MY GOD YES WE TALKED AB THIS

this is a giant rant sorry u have to read all this jesse

i’m not 100% sure if hunter is going to die, but out of the whole batch i’d say he’s the most likely to. this is bc wrecker already got injured in the marauder explosion, if he were to get killed off after even tho he was revealed to be ok, that would be not the best writing. i also don’t think cross would die, he’s still developing as a character and going thru his redemption arc and healing (both physically and mentally). omega is essential to the plot bc of the m count transfer and needs to be kept alive, so she’ll live as well.

that leaves hunter, and his death would make sense. he’s the leader of the batch, but i saw another post on here (i couldn’t find the user sadly) saying that his character is somewhat flat, and i’d agree. throughout the seasons, hunter’s only purpose has been to lead his brothers and take care of them; he doesn’t have any goals of his own. during the clone wars, his loyalty was to the republic, after the empire rose it was to his brothers, and omega when she joined. after omega was taken, hunter was noticeably thinner and less like himself. i wouldn’t chalk up his lack of development to bad writing, as the writers have done amazing, imo, when it comes to all the other characters EVEN BATCHER who’s an animal. that being said, i wouldn’t be surprised if hunter’s death is used to push the others’ development.

as for how he’ll die, he seems like the self sacrificing type. project necromancer is somewhat successful, bc the palpy clones are a thing, meaning omega will be affected. that will prob escalate into the final fight. something ab the oldest brother keeping his sister safe, letting her have a chance and live a life he couldn’t (since omega isn’t in any other star wars projects taking place after so i’m assuming she stops fighting)

but ngl i hope no one dies (wishful thinking tho 😔) and hunter gets to discover himself, what he wants, and be selfish for once.

if u disagree tho feel free to lmk, i love hearing other ppls opinions :D

[nicegaai]

Ch 7:

(i ragequit halfway thru rereading this chapter bc i decided i hated it and everything in the world and etc <3 its literally fine tho. im going to finish this reread bc i said i would and i WILL. and i keep daydreaming ab this universe lately. i miss them.)

Ohhh this is where I took a big break between chapters and I was never sure the flow between them made a ton of sense… idk I guess because the two of them had a good talk and then immediately Emil dreamed about sucking oniichan off…..

Ohh this is so silly… Emil my boy.. this is so awkward for sig what are u doooooing <3

HMM. There are edits I want to make here. I didn’t need the last sentence. I used to like it, now I don’t . :/

OH!!!!! I did write Leon into this!!! Id forgot! I had several scenes with him i cut out bc I just didn’t want to write them..

ohh my god I duplicated a whole paragraph. This has all just been an elaborate exercise in embarrassment. I can’t believe I got away with this.

Wow </3 if u think about it, Sig wanting to fuck Emil sooo bad actually saved him from the gay incel lifestyle. It could have been so much worse for my boy <//3

Oh. The transition made me gasp. Gagged me a bit. Get it boysss. Wild Fucking Scene between these three. Idk what to say to this. Op you have problems.

Another error to edit :-/

CRAP DUDE I LEFT IN NOTES THAT WERE FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DID I NOT SEE THAT. I can’t take it anymore im so madddddddd 

Actually this whole chapter is my least fav yet. SIGHH. I wanna go in and edit dialogue again bc this just. ughh. Ive changed I could do him better this time

(I actually walked away here for like 4 hours. Maybe im just at the anger stage of grief. )

Ok forget Sig, Berwald would not say that either. What is any of this? Why is any of this. Mannnnnnn get me out of here!!!!!  Haha wait I can just skim read. Its fine.

(It was not fine. I rage quit again and started again the next day.)

IM SORRY FOR THE NEGATIVITY ALL OF A SUDDEN I don’t know what my problem is. It’s Sunday now, back at it. Im gonna finish this reread TODAY so I can START WRITING !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hm yeah this scene really didn’t play out as well as I hoped it would. I wanna throw up and cry but its good im good its good I am good … Its not good and I don’t know why it not being good is fucking w me this bad lmao

(RIGHT HERE is where i quit for like a month and im back again let's see if i freak out a third time<3)

so i guess this is why books go thru multiple rounds of edits. i understand now. writing is a mess and i came at this thing overconfident i could hammer something out on the fly,,,,,,,,

i will allow myself to go in and do rewrites and scene rearranging and such AFTER i finish the last chapter ONLY. thats my new motivation to finish this. and i will finish it. i will. i say this bc i really do fucking hate this scene and i want to do something violent to it in the rewrite phase sooo bad ill tear it to bits ill kill it dead #positivethinking

actually fuck this its my reread. i dont HAVE TO read this scene. aaaaand skip (<- liar who continues to skim and cringe)

ok scene over i lived. back to my darlingbabyboybabybooboobear

it was a mistake to involve characters that i dont want to throttle and soak in milk and slam against the wall. the writing only gets good when iceland is there i think & the rest is filler. the quality fr jumped about 3 levels this is so funnyyyyyy. im not hopeless after all ...!!

im going to squeeze emil until his head pops like a zit

im going to scream i m going to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD ARE THEY FUCKIN IN THIS CHAPTER? OH MY GOD ARE THEY? WAIT THERES STILL LIKE 1/3RD LEFT TO GO I DONT REMEMBER THIS ARE THEY GONNA --

im only getting more intrigued. what is this. whats happening. are they fuckin or nah

i love typos theyre eachand every one my special little friend *shaking w barely contained rage(

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i do not remember where this is going but i hope they fuckin oh my god oh my god im kickin my feet and gigglinggggg aiigieieghhghe

hes a nervous little thingg ...... uwa.. moé ... <333

this is stupid and indulgent but i live for emil reacting to things.

make another edit here i think emil could be reacting cuter. future me, make the gayboy MORE moe please tttthnak you

i made a stupid noise when they kissed im weak i a m a weak man. also i knowwww they fuckin now but i dont trust that the sex is going to be well written i know it wont be.

already i am disappointed. and i know why cuz i can feel exactly where i struggled w the eroticism of the peenus and im reading this like. yeah i didnt enjoy writing that and its coming across to the reader alright. or to me at least with my criticism goggles on. god the next few chapters are going to be so much worse. but i think i can make it work. theres. i have. ..im seeing visions from fujoshi jesus

oh no i squee'd .. theres not another word for it. AHH!!!! i fucking squee'd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ]IM KICKING M Y FEET AND STUFF WHAT denice got me rolling around schoolgirl style . im a full on mess i love them sm ,THIS IS SO SILLYYYYYYYY I LOVE THEMMMMMMMMMMMMM WHAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im actually enjoying this so much i love denice.....

BWAHHHGHHH

EAUEGHAEUEGAHGAEHGA

projection in my fanfic? nooo neverr,

HES SOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE EMILLLLL BABYYYYYY I WUV UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

kicking my feet again aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

fav chapter ending ive ever written in anything ever. so good. what a horrible piece of shit i hate him. i hate all of this. something something my twisted mind. one more chpater ill read idk tomorrow maybe the next day.....well goodnight

im attempting my fic reread today. im announcing this bc i will be liveblogging to keep my morale up, NOT THAT anyone cares but i personally need this, like ill only commit to do the thing if theres an imaginary audience holding me accountable. & i like to have fun :3

anyway. captains log, its a beautiful sunny july weekend. i just finished my morning coffee, and, i am dreading this so much. i dont like rereading my own writing but i shall get over it. ok here we go.

Þetta Reddast vagueblogged directors commentary edition

Ch 1:

*opens fic and starts convulsing immediately* god i wish i smoked weed rn. i cannot chill out ever for the life of me

My Mission For Today Is: to remember what plot threads I’ve left hanging so I can resolve this story properly. And also try n remember where the flow is going. I have the end plotted out, I just am a little lost … it’s been a while :-(

------------

Abrupt beginning!!!! I’m not mad because I have . I HAD. Almost no writing experience when I started this. it isn’t ideal but I refuse to be one of those fanfic writers that starts rewriting early chapters without finishing the last ones. Ive never seen one of those types actually finish a longfic. …I’d already rather yap than actually read LMAO AHH

Oh this is worse than I remember. thats cool that s great ok alright *coughs up blood*

"20 somethings" WOW I really did not know where I was going with this when I started huh

LKJSDLKSJDLGKGDJSLDGJK ??? Who authorized this. Who let me cook. What the hell

I could write this better now. I could edit this into something beautiful. <- devil on my shoulder

FORGOT I WAS MAKING RICE BRB

"generously offered nothing to the exchange." wait STOPPPP. I’m so funny

GRAMMAR ERROR DETECTED why is there two periods. I’ll be coming back to fix that …………………. :-(((

Fuck. This is a lot. Marge Simpson Hiding Her Face dot Png

Oh this is stupid this is gayyy this is fukcinnn . Who fucking did t his. What was wrong with me,. This is so good actually. what was i ONNNN. 

Im gonna throw up and I don’t know if thats like/. A complimentary thing or if im just cringing that hard . Im feeling emotions. I love my OTPs..OT3~5? I love them so so much

Ok as much as im like “eww bad writing” this is .. dare I say, rly good in places. Not to suck my own dick but maybe all hope isnt lost and imposter syndrome is an illusion

Grammar mistake #2. Goddddddd. they should ban me from the archive for this

EMILLLLL EMIL EMIL EMIL HIIIIII BABYYYY EMILLL I LOVE UUUU AWWHUUGHH everyone clap for my bewoved baby bruvver right FUCKING now

Urghhh gritting my teeth… Im fully expecting the flow of events to start not making any gd sense. There’s no way this came together the way I hoped in my head and .... For real I was never able to read this all the way thru. this is my first time, lol. and it was all disjointed on the authorial end to say the least. Im scared T-T

Jlxjvklsdkjfsjlkdkjlsjklkljzsdkjlgaskljdgjklasljkgdljkasljkdgjklasjlkdgljkaskljdgjakl?????????? 

Im not liking the ratio of dialogue to whatever the other stuff is. scene-setting I guess. prose maybe. i could have dragged this out way longer... By which I mean made it a more satisfying read. But WHATEVER !!!! 

TIMO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIMOOOOOOOOOO NUMERO UNOOOO DO MUNDOOOOOO I really need to utilize him more. As soon as I finish this fic I need to write a Timo POV spinoff where he gets cancelled on furry twitter for proshipping in real life

Hmmmm chapter ending didn’t hit as hard in practice as it did in drafts. Oh well. God damn that was a lot to happen in one chapter LMAOO???

OH SHIT MY RICE IS STILL COOKING —— 

[brelione]

Please Dont Break My Heart Pt.1 (JJ Maybank X Reader)

Warnings:Not proof read,pretty much trash.

JJ would be lying if he said that he didnt have a thing for you.You were known pretty well as both a heartbreaker and a sweetheart.Neither of those really made sense,it was like trying to mix water and olive oil.It just couldnt happen.You were a kook but werent considered one of the bad ones that would stare in disgust at every pogue they saw.

You were actually known to be quite friendly with pogues,even dating a handful of them.You’d date someone for three months and then drop their asses with no explanation why.It was like clockwork.It seemed like you got bored easily,hopping from one boy to the next.

There was pretty much a line of boys,both kooks and pogues ready to shoot their shot,be yours for three months and then get their hearts broken.Unfortunately JJ could relate,wishing that you’d come up to him one day with that well known smile,shining eyes asking him to hang out sometime.He would consider himself lucky to even be so close to you,to hold your hand and touch your hair whenever he pleased.

Even if it only lasted three months and you were using him he wouldnt even care.He didnt even know why he wanted you so much or what he liked about you.He sat by a fire,Kiara and Pope within his view as he spoke to your most recent ex,a blonde boy named Dylan.He was sniffling,not understanding why you had left him.

John.B say next to JJ,interested in the conversation that was currently about you. “So what’s she like?Is she rude or like...I dunno.”JJ shrugged,trying to form his questions into actual words.Dylan huffed,staring into the flames. “No,man.She’s nice as hell and she’s funny and she dances around her living room and she likes to surf and bake and-and oh god I fucking miss her.”Dylan sobbed,wiping his tears.

JJ had heard the same story from eight guys,that you were sweet and genuine and how they thought they were different from the others until you broke them too.JJ felt bad for them of course but more than anything he wanted to know the reason for your constant heartbreaking and manipulating.He felt even worse because he wanted you to manipulate him.

He tried to listen to Dylan talk,zoning out eventually.Technically he was in the line of guys that were ready to have their heart broken and you probably knew that.That meant that he could be the next boy to be yours.It was wrong of him to think that way and he knew that.He had watched this pattern for two years now,waiting for his turn patiently and never daring to interfere but beginning to think about what would happen this time.He wanted this to be the best summer ever,to have a good time all the time.You could most definitely make this the best summer ever which meant that he needed to be number one in your line.

It had been a week since you broke Dylan’s heart.He was good to you,never yelled at you or treated you wrong.He let you take his hoodies and gave you forehead kisses and piggy back rides down the beach.You were his lockscreen and he was yours,doing whatever you wanted whenever you wanted,including braiding your hair for you and going for swims in your pool at three in the morning.

But he was getting too close to you and deep down you knew that nobody could be that perfect.You didnt want to hurt anyone which was why you let go of them so quickly and so easily,you’d hurt them more if you let them stick around.You didnt even know what your type was or if you even had one,you just needed something different.

You were definitely known for breaking peoples hearts which was definitely not a good reputation to have but it was better than being a drug dealer or a crackhead,both of which had been interested in you at one point.You wanted someone that was more like you,impulsive,excited,ready to try new things and have deep conversations at four in the morning.

You knew that none of the boys were really like that and you knew that they would just act like that in hopes of getting you to like them.There was only one boy that you could think of that fit what you wanted without pretending.That one boy was JJ Maybank.

You were nervous as hell to even look in his direction,knowing that he was probably disgusted by the thought of a rich,heartbreaking kook and wanted absolutely nothing to do with you.You had been single for a week,trying to figure out what to do about JJ.You didnt want to be with him and then leave him,you admired him far too much for that.

But you knew that you wanted to be with him.Kooks and Pogues would stare at you,drool practically falling from their lips as you walked by,waiting to see what you would do next.You sighed,scrolling through your phone,deciding to delete your photos of Dylan,pouting as you did so.You just had to hope that he was over by now,you had let him down gently anyways.

You got up off your bed,deciding to leave the house for the first time in three days,pulling on a black one piece bathing suit,a tshirt and shorts over it.It was 11 AM which meant the beaches wouldnt be crowded yet but luckily you knew your way around The Cut.That included the small rocky beaches that Dylan had shown you during a surfing trip to watch the sunset.

You got into your car,your surfboard already tied to the roof.You stopped at a Dunkin Donuts drive thru to grab a large iced coffee on the way,listening to your playlist as you drove to The Cut.You remembered Dylan taking you down a dirt road that was supposed to be covered in cement but never ended up happening.

You pulled onto the side of the road with a sigh,putting your phone in your backpack that contained a towel and a bag of m and m’s,swinging it over your shoulder and standing on your tip toes so you could pull your surfboard off the top,carrying it by your side as you walked down the dirt hills,coming out at the rocky surfing spot that was well hidden by trees.

JJ shocked himself when he woke up before noon,the others still asleep.He had sighed,debating on getting up or going back to sleep.He wasnt sure what made him want to go to the hidden surfing spot that was a good ten minute walk from John.B’s.He didnt know why he wanted to wiggle his toes in the small,smooth pebbles so badly.

He was already in his bathing suit from the night before,getting up and ditching the idea of surfing,just wanting to swim for a bit.His converse smacked off the dirt,trying his best not to slip and fall on his way down the hill,holding onto the trees for balance before landing onto the pebbles,eyebrows furrowing when he noticed another person was already here.He froze up when he realized it was you,laying on top of your surfboard that rested on the pebbles,arms crossed and eyes closed,not caring about the world.

He considered turning around and running away,grinning when he noticed you werent here with a boy.THat meant that you were still single and nobody was ready to pounce on him if he attempted to talk to you.Your head turned to look at him,scared for a moment when you thought he was Dylan. “JJ?”You asked curiously,sitting up to look at him at a proper angle.

He cussed,realizing it was too late to turn around now that you saw him.He grinned,walking towards you,looking down. “Yeah.”He answered,trying really hard not to grin,trying not to blush or back away out of embarrassment. “Hi.”You answered,staring up at him,not knowing what to say or do. “Hi.”He replied,sitting down on the pebbles across from you.

 “So like,what are you doing here?”He asked,trying to make conversation.He was probably the biggest flirt on the island and you were fantastic as manipulating and charming people.Why was this so hard? “I dont know,it’s just a nice day and I thought i’d surf but the waves suck today.”You shrugged,looking out at the calm,glittery water.He nodded,agreeing. “Yeah.You ever surf during a storm?”He asked,tugging at the hem of his shirt.

You grinned,nodding. “Yeah,I tried that once or twice.I wiped out and like,almost died so that sucks for me.The waves were pretty good though,not gonna lie.”You answered,remembering that adventure from a month back.Dylan was so worried the whole time,watching from the beach as you disappeared under the waves,coming back up a few moments later to gasp for air. 

“Yeah,same thing happened to me last year.I scraped my whole leg.”He admitted,trying his best not to stare at you.You turned on your surfboard,grabbing your coffee and taking a sip of it.He peeled at his fingernails,considering getting up and going into the water. “Was it worth it?”You asked,making him smile. “Um,yeah id say so.”He replied,his face becoming red. 

“I probably should’ve checked the weather before I left the house,its a really shitty day.I mean,before you got here obviously.”You took another sip of coffee,mixing the sugar at the bottom.He was a blushing mess,fighting the temptation to hide his face in his hands. “So um...where’s Dylan?”He asked,wanting to see how you’d react.You let out a sigh,biting the inside of your cheek. “It just wasnt meant to be,you know?”You asked,dissapointed when you realized he was probably just trying to get in your pants.

He nodded,understanding. “Yeah,I get that.How do you know when somethings meant to be?”He asked,slowly becoming more comfortable with you.You shrugged,not even knowing the answer.You had loved people before,you had loved all the people you had dated.You just werent in love with any of them.It just never felt right which definitely scared you.SOmetimes you wondered if you ever would love anyone like that. 

“I dont even know,dude.”You admitted,standing up on your surfboard,hopping onto the pebbles,taking off your shirt and shorts,feeling JJ’s eyes glued to you as you bent over to put your clothes into your bag. “But I do know that it’s hot as fuck out here and that water looks nice so im going to go drown.”You grinned before walking down to the water,going up to your hips,letting out a sigh of relief when your burning heels hit the cool water.

JJ admired you from a far,covering his face with his hands when your back was turned to him,grinning like a fucking idiot.He finally decided to get up and join you,pulling off his tank top and hat,dragging his feet through the cold water,standing next to you,glancing over at you every couple of minutes,trying to figure out what you were staring at that you found so interesting.

 “What are we looking at?”He asked,not seeing anything.You shrugged,wiggling your toes in the sand. “I dont know,just the clouds I guess.”You answered,looking up at him.He licked his lips,just watching you.He had never been physically close to you for longer than a minute or two even if he felt some sort of emotional connection to you since the moment he saw you.

It was a Saturday night at the beginning of June.A boneyard party was taking place,loud music,shitty beer,heated make out sessions and random games of truth or dare.Everyone was having a good time,doing whatever they pleased and getting absolutely fucking wasted.

JJ had been sipping a cup of beer,trying to listen to Pope when he heard laughter,turning to see where it was coming from.You were on Dylan’s back,your legs around his waist,arms wrapped around his shoulders,afraid you’d fall off.JJ couldnt take his eyes off of you the whole night,watching as you sat on Dylan’s lap,the boy leaving small kisses on your neck,forehead and cheeks.

It made JJ’s heart hurt,wishing it were him.On the other hand he almost wanted to yell at Dylan and call him an itiot for thinking he was different than your ex’s while another part of him wanted to yell at Dylan and try to figure out what made him so special that you spent so much time around him.JJ’s jaw clenched when he watched you kiss Dylan,wishing it were him that you were kissing.When you left the party you were wearing Dylan’s sweatshirt,holding the boys hand and probably going back to your place.

“How’d you find this place?It’s pretty well hidden.”He looked back at the empty beach,trying to figure out if you had walked because he hadnt seen your car.You looked down into the clear water,trying to figure out how far you’d be able to go without slipping under the water. 

“Uhh….Dylan showed it to me.”You replied,not wanting to make things too awkward.He nodded,not pushing any further. “I feel like Dylan didnt deserve you not gonna lie.”He admitted.Sure,he had spoken to Dylan before and thought he was an okay guy.He wasnt an asshole but he just wasnt worthy of you in JJ’s eyes.

You giggled quietly at the statement,shaking your head. “You barely know me,JJ.How do you know what I deserve?”You asked,genuinely curious for his answer.He pouted,eyebrows knitting together in frustration. “Alright,here’s what ive learned about you in like,the last fifteen minutes.”He began,a small smile on his face.You nodded,waiting for him to continue.

 “So,you like dunkin donuts,you like going on adventures for the experience and you dont really worry about consequences,you like to relax most of the time and I really want to get to know more about you.”He watched your puzzled expression,a nervous grin on his face. “You want to know more about me?How would you do that?”You asked,enjoying how nervous you could make him.

He glanced down to your lips,licking his own. “You know...a date.”He mumbled,chewing on his bottom lip. “You want to go on a date?What makes you worthy of that?”You teased,using his words against him.He rolled his eyes,looking down into the water. “I mean...I dunno,you’ll have to find out for yourself.Do you want to maybe go night swimming or something later tonight?I know a spot.”He offered,remembering the small waterfall that he had gone to with John.B and Pope last year.

You thought about it.JJ seemed sweet from what you knew but it would still be weird to go to a hidden area alone at night with someone you just met.But then again if things went south you could just kick him right in the dick. “Sounds like a date,Maybank.Just come by my house whenever,i’ll drive.”You told him,deciding that you should just leave.

There were no waves to surf or much to do so it would probably be wise to go back to your house and do your laundry and take a shower.His heart thumped in his chest,feeling a bit light headed at the thought of being yours.THere was no way this was real,he thought as he watched you walk from the water,swinging your backpack over your shoulder,getting your shoes on,holding your board and disappearing into the trees and out of his view.

He had rushed back to John.B’s,looking through every single shirt and every single pair of shorts that he had there,trying to find a good combination.He couldnt wait for John.B to wake up,shaking him by the shoulders until he was swatting the blonde’s hands away.

 “What?”He asked,sitting up in his bed. “Its my turn!”JJ exclaimed,not helping with the confusion. “What?”John.B asked again,making JJ sigh. “God,keep up!Its my turn to be hers!”JJ was far too excited for his tired friend,the words sounding like static. “Who?”John.B asked,not thinking.JJ rolled his eyes,grabbing his friend by the arm and into the guest room-JJ’s room.

 “Which outfit should I wear?”JJ asked,gesturing tot eh outfits he had laid out on the bed.He had waited over a year for this night,he shouldve prepared an outfit the moment he heard that you and Dylan had broken up. “I dont fuckin know.I dont know what girls are into.”John.B yawned,JJ’s eyes widened as he realised the problem,running into the living room to shake Kie back and forth.

 “What?”She grumbled,too tired to open her eyes. “God,fuck.”JJ cursed,throwing the girl over his shoulder and bringing her into the room,her shouts becoming annoying when he finally set her down. “Which one?”He asked,looking at the outfits.

 “For what?”She asked,looking down at the clothes. “Dammit!Im going on a date tonight and I cant mess this up.”He sighed,tugging at his hair.  “A date with who?”Kiara asked,not quite understanding.JJ wasnt the type to go on dates.What had changed? “(Y/N).”JJ answered,making Kiara’s heart drop. “Are you kidding?Come on,JJ.You know whats going to happen!”She exclaimed,her words changing nothing.

 “Does it really matter?”He asked,really just wanting to know what outfit to wear.Kiara smacked his arm,clearly mad. “Shes going to break you like she does to everyone!Why her out of all people?Cant you find a girl who’s not a play?You guys are just going to play eachother and hurt everyone!”She exclaimed,John.B nodding in agreement. “Oh,vomit!”JJ exclaimed,making the decision for himself,folding the clothes carefully and placing them on the bed.

 “Im serious,JJ!She’s gonna pretend to love you and then you’re gonna fall in love and then shes gonna break you and come running to us!”Kiara shouted,sighing loudly.JJ simply rolled his eyes,kicking his two friends out,deciding he no longer needed their opinions.He tried on the outfit,jean shorts and a gray kildare t shirt,figuring he could wear his red hat with it.

He was far too nervous for tonight.He had heard about you going on a date once only for it to go nowhere,never seeing the boy again.The boy was Max,a seventeen year old brunette that went to boneyard parties and had dropped out of highschool during junior year.JJ let his curiosity get the best of him,asking about it. “So how’d it go?”JJ had asked,sipping his beer.

Max sighed,shrugging his shoulders. “I think I was too nervous the whole time,she just wasnt really into me.She kissed me though so I think it was worth it.”Max grinned at the memory.JJ found himself thinking about you later that night as he always did,thinking differently this time.

He wanted to know what your kisses would feel like,if they were gentle or rough and where you would put your hands.He saw you kiss Dylan before,your hands in the pockets of the boys’ shorts or in his hair.JJ had imagined what that would feel like,even attempting to lucid dream but everyone knows he isnt patient enough for shit like that.

Night time came way too quick.He had showered,trying to make his hair nice for you even if he was going to place a hat on top of it anyways.His hands were gripping onto the bathroom sink tight,breathing in and out slowly,trying to remain calm before getting dressed,putting on all of his rings.

He knew where your house was.It was one of the biggest houses on the island and the driveway was painted with clouds,rainbows and mermaids so it was easy to find.He ran down the dark streets,hoping nobody would call the cops on him.He walked up your colorful driveway,stopping when lights came on across the front yard.

He didnt know what set them off,wondering if your parents knew he was coming.THe door opened,revealing you in a yellow dress,the material only going halfway down your thighs,a leather jacket hanging off of you,black and yellow vans to match.

He felt his face go red,biting his lip. “You look really-um you look really pretty.”He chuckled,feeling embarrassed.You grinned,opening the garage by typing the pin into the key pad,your black car sitting there and waiting patiently for you. “Where are we going?”You asked,taking out your keys,about to get in when he stopped you. 

“Can I drive?”He asked,giving you puppy dog eyes.You sighed,holding your keys tight,eventually giving in. “If you crash my car I will kill you.”You warned him,getting in the passengers seat that you hadnt sat in in forever.He got in,almost laughing.He had never been in such an expensive car before,pulling out of the garage,the door closing behind him. 

“Seriously though,if we crash I will kill you.”You spoke seriously,making him smile. “I know,princess.”He replied,beginning the drive down the smooth road,hitting bumps once the tires rolled into The Cut.Somehow you ended up holding his hand,your thumb resting on one of his veins,the coolness of the metal rings made a slight shiver go up your spine.

He tried so hard not to squeal,imagining this for nearly two years.He rubbed the back of your hand lightly with his thumb,trying his best to remain as calm as possible,pulling over in the familiar area. “It’s right down here.”He told you,squeezing your hand lightly before letting go.

THe two of you got out of the car,your heart beat quickening as you followed him through the woods,using a flashlight that he had brought.You could hear the waterfall,glad it wasnt too far away.THe two of you emerged from the trees and into a clearing,a slow moving rive right in front of you,a small waterfall to your right.He was focused on you,watching as you took it all in,the area being lit up by the little bit of moonlight.

You took off your jacket,unzipping the dress to reveal a white bikini underneath,placing them on top of your bag so they wouldnt get wet or dirty.He smiled,tugging off his shorts and t shirt,walking into the cold shallow water,knowing where the deep parts were.

You came in soon after,deciding to just sit in the shallow water while he jumped off the rocks and into the deep,coming up to the surface with his hair soaked and fallen into his face.He wiped it away,coming to sit next to you,admiring the waterfall. “So…”He tried to start a conversation,not quite knowing what to say.You smiled,looking over at him. 

“What?”You asked,your voice soft and smooth as you spoke.He leaned back in the water,not quite laying down. “So whats up with you?”He asked,reaching for your hand,smiling when you let him intertwine his fingers with yours. “In what way?”You asked,curious as to what he meant. “I mean you’re like,the Queen of the kooks yet you date pogues and hang around The Cut.Why?”He asked,his heels digging into the pebble below him.

You shrugged. “I mean,kooks aren't really impressive.They’re all the same,you guys have actual personalities.”You laughed,hoping he wouldnt ask the question you dreaded most.He nodded in agreement,sitting up properly.The light crashing of the water wasnt really noticeable anymore,he was too focus on the conversation.

 “I want you to tell me everything I should know about you within the next minute.Go!”He exclaimed,watching as you tried to think,surprised. “Um...um okay,my favorite color is (Y/F/C),I hate strawberry jelly,I have a dog named Hugo and hes literally the love of my life...I have slight caffeine addiction,I dont know.”You laughed,not ever thinking about this before.He nodded,urging you to keep going.

 “Uhh...my favorite show is Stranger Things,my favorite movie is The Outsiders because Dally,obviously...umm I still believe in mermaids and i’ve always wanted to build a castle.”You hoped that was enough,glad when he smiled.

 “You still believe in mermaids?”He asked,a goofy smile on his face. “Shut up,Maybank.This isnt fair,you have to tell me about you now.”You turned on your side,facing him completely.He looked shocked,not thinking that you would turn the question back on him. “You have a minute-starting now.”You announced,his thoughts moving to fast for his mouth to keep up.

 “Okay,ummm...uhhh….I’ve always wanted to live in Yucatan,my favorite color is blue...I dont have a favorite TV show...I like the Harry Potter movies but i’ve never read the books...growing up I always had a huge crush on Hermione and I believed in Santa Claus until I was twelve.I hate butterflies,I dont really like coffee because energy drinks are better and I go by JJ because I hate my actual name.”He finished,biting his lip.

You hummed,reflecting on what he just said. “Im a simp for Draco Malfoy.”You admitted,hearing him chuckle. “So you have a thing for blondes?”He asked,a cocky smirk on his face.You shushed him,rolling your eyes. “I mean,i’ve got a thing for gorgeous girls so I guess it works out.”He winked at you,a sly smirk on his face.

You felt your cheeks get hot,glancing away from him.He thought about what he was about to do for a whole two seconds,considering how it could effect his future with you. “(Y/N).”he mumbled,making you turn back to him.He waited a moment and a half before leaning in,pecking your lips lightly and pulling away,understanding why Max had spoke so fondly of the memory.

You bit your lip,pulling him into another kiss,your warm hand going into his wet hair,tugging at the slightly wavy locks.He smiled into the kiss,his hands ending up on your waist,trying to take in every detail of the moment that he knew would end soon.When you pulled away your hand remained in his hair,twirling it between your thumb and pointer finger.

@nas-marie-loves-u​ @28cnn​ @sexytholland​  @yuxsh06​   @ifilwtmfc​  @cherryobx​ @poguestarkey​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​  @poguestyleskye​ @judayyyw​  @sunwardsss​ @meaganjm​ @sarcasticsagittarius1998​ @jj-fic-recs​ @homophobicclownmoviestan​ @jj-iz-bae​ @natalie-kate-98​ @negativity4you​ @nxsmss​ @ofmaybankheart​ @broken-jj​  @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl​  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off​ 

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[tsukidotcom]

Haikyuu HC to COVID-19 (Karasuno edition)

This is horrible 💀 im just so bored so I made whatever this mess is KFJSJDMSK enjoy

Hinata Shouyou

huh? isn’t it just the flu?

“No, hinata. People have died from it-“

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH-

goes bananas

whenever someone sneezes or coughs, his soul leaves his body as he runs away to sanitize/wash his hands for a miserably long time.

eats an expired can of peaches thinking it’s his last resort

lowkey happy school is closed because homework sucks

but also highkey hates it because now all volleyball tournaments are closed

then gets all angry when he realizes he’d have to do online school???!!?? like wtf he got jipped.

thinks they could still do volleyball if they did online calls cus if the school can do it,, then vOLLEYBALL CAN

will probably miss half of the class calls from oversleeping/forgetting anyway.

sheepishly ask yamaguchi, yachi or tsukishima for help on assignments/notes. (he will NEVA ask kageyama. he’s always in competition with him here!)

still practices volleyball 24/7 in his backyard or room (maybe even with his baby sister??)

He’s really good at practicing all by himself from practicing all alone in middle school—

but will probably go crazy being alone all the time with his family. he just wants to play volleyball with the team again.

looks up “what to do when you’re bored” or “what to do at home while in quarantine” on youtube

Kageyama Tobio

probably says he’s immune to the corona because he’s just better than everyone else

doesn’t really think it’s real until school shut down because of it

When he sees that corona is airborne he wont know what that means so he’d probably think it’s produced by air itself?? which makes him think air is trying to kill the human race?? and will be so confused as to why it decided to pop up now???

DESPISES online school. He had enough trouble understanding it from the gecko, so now he has to learn it basically all by hiMSELF?!?

And no way is he just gona email the teacher for help. If he does it’s gonna be only once in his lifetime. Anymore than that he thinks he’s doin too much. He doesn’t want his teachers thinking he’s dumb 😭

he says literally nothing during the calls he just tries to pay attention? and fails because he’s on a computer. in his room. alone. he’s bound to daze off or stare at a pen for 5 minutes.

Obvi still practices volleyball. Very much misses it. At least Hinata had his sibling to practice with him. tobio is a lone wolf in his household.

When his mom goes out to get groceries he gives her one of those doctor masks so she doesn’t catch corona.

Few moments later through the internet he realizes that corona is smaller than air molecules so if you can breathe through something you could still get it so he struggles for an hour thinking he just killed his mother

When his mom is back he keeps his distance in case she’s carrying the plague

omg did she just cough or am i imagining things no she definitely coughed she has corona oh oh god

In reality she was just clearing her throat.

is lowkey worrying about everyone and how they are 🥺 (yes, maybe even hinata).

thinks he’s science smart by calling it covid-19 than corona.

Asahi Azumane

He just worries about everyones health

like he just imagines the worst case scenario’s and starts to get really worried if people got it. Always checks on everyone and asks if they’re feeling any symptoms of corona ❤️

He’s either not gonna get it or he gets it and dies there’s no inbetween

but he’s jesus himself so theres no way he nor anyone in his bloodline can get it

is very happy to know that dogs can’t get it.

Takes online school seriously and tries his best

And is honestly so sad school just ended??? even if it’s temporary, he could be learning, playing volleyball, and going about his day instead of staying in a cage. he’s a third year so—how would graduation even go..?

always is up to date on the news !! and notifies everyone if anything important is added/changed.

Always tells everyone to stay safe! Whether through text or before ending a call.

only buys a lot of toilet paper from the fear of there being no toilet paper in stock since evERYONE IS BUYING IT-

Starts to try new hobbies that he put off for the longest time cus quarentine is rlly getting to him.

Is all out a family guy so he doesn’t mind the extra time with his family.

Nishinoya Yu

OAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOA

420 blazin’

thinks going outside means you’re instantly gonna die from corona attacking your white blood cells (????)

but also probably doesnt care as he goes outside like everyday to run around and get rid of energy (and to practice volleyball, of course).

also why is it called white blood cells when blood is red ☠️ smh

Buys 101611018320129 bags of chips because that’s his comfort food

yay more gaming time!!!

Noya🐒: Tanaka do u wana play minecraft 2getr latr?

Tanaka🍌: HELL YEAH!!

doesn’t shower for three days straight because screw personal hygiene!! No more school!!! Can do whatever he wanted!! It’s basically summer!!!

until he’s forced to do online school.

Is def the class clown. Probably somehow kicks the teacher out of the call through a little bit of hacking.

“alright guys so i’ll be you’re substitute teacher for the day-“

tbh acts the same as he would in school. maybe a little more rebellious because, i mean, what is the teacher gonna do? send him to DETENTION? call his mOMMY?

Calls/spams literally everyone in his contacts because he’s so bored and lonely. Answer him!! Y’all will be on facetime for hours!!

He’s fun to facetime.

Will call you a loser if you don’t have an apple iPhone because then he can’t facetime you and facetiming is one of his favorite things to do to pass time (besides gaming)

HE A TRUE GAMER

Okay but he lowkey still tries at school for the sake of his grades and his future ;-; maybe calls asahi or sugawara for help??

always looks up his homework on the internet to see if he can get an answer key or something (he did that anyway even before corona but)

will do one subject for 3 hours thinking he’s finally done with everythinf till he realizes he has like 4 other subjects and needs to do those too.

Sending memes all the time

Tsukishima Kei

oh, what about corona again?

honestly could give NO fucks??. like ABSOLUTELY ZERO. nonxistent.

doesn’t even remember it’s still happening half the time.

is surprisingly very knowledgeable about corona.

he’s just smart and sciency¿ so he understands the ins and outs of corona like how it works and how its spread.

so if you tRULY want any update or background info on the corona virius, ask Tsukishima.

bitch don’t touch me you have rabies.

doesn’t care that he’s obligated to stay at home because he would have stayed either way. he very much likes being alone.

might go a little crazy cooped up in his room so he’ll hang with his brother/family or go outside before he says ‘okay that’s enough’ and goes back to his room.

isolation? oh okay *puts on headphones*

he rlly gonna be rocking it out in his room cus he can listen to music all day any day

developes a really bad sleep schedule since he had no way to get rid of the energy he got rid of at school.

still a huge tease so he says everyone has the corona virius.

is never online on social media which means he’s never up to date with his frIENDS. Doesn’t have a clue what those dipshits are doing and could care less (besides yamaguchi,, they probably facetime or call thru skype or something).

I bet the whole volleyball squad has a groupchat and honestly he puts all notifs on mute cus his phone keep goin DING DING DING DI DING ID DID IDKNG DING DIG

Brother: Omg why are you getting so many text messages?

Tsukki: Shut up

if he is online on the gc and he texts it would be simple replies like “Hi” “Okay.” “No.” “Goodbye.” and then he’s gone for another week

every first year is begging on their knees for tsukishima to give the answers or help them out and he obviously says: go do the hw yourselves idiots

besides yamaguchi!!!! again!! cus theyre gay for each other

maybe practices once in awhile with his brother or alone in his backyard but he doesn’t care

Tanaka Ryuunosuke

buys 101817 pounds of toilet paper because everyone else is? but not because of the same reason as asahi. he thinks toilet paper is the cure to corona.

GO STUPID AAAAAAAAA GO CRAZY AAAAAAAAAAA-

probably has a part time job at a grocery store so he still has to go to work 😭 i dont even know how he could have a job in the first place he’s probably always late-

still gamin with noya of course

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM IM PLAYING MINECRAFTT

also buys like all the junk food thats in stock. and since he works at the grocery store he gets a ton of coupons and deals.

texts Kiyoko everyday goodmorning ❤️❤️❤️ and goodnight 😘😘 texts just to be left on read.

“i love it when she ignores me !!!”

scrolls through tiktoks for 1000 hours to pass time

School Is For Losers!!

similar to noya, he thought it was basicaly summer until he realized they were gonna be doing online school. literally had a fit and said he didnt wanna do jack squAt

Laughs so hard when nishinoya somehow kicks the teacher out of the call he’s like laughing so loud and hard he starts crying

all of the sudden has a better view on school

gets excited when he sees nishinoya on the call

makes funny and ugly ass faces when the teacher isn’t looking. everyone laughs and the teacher’s like 🤨

probably uses the green screen effect so he can change hus background (somehow) and accidentally misclicks a file so a girl wit a bikini becomes his background for .5 seconds before changing it to a cursed meme:

doesn’t get half the shit the teacher is talking about

but it’s okay because the half he doesn’t get is the other half noya gets

and the half noya doesnt get is the orher half tanaka gets

they’re two peas in a pod 🥰

until they try explaining it to each other and suddenly get confused?? mental malfunction ¿?

yeah im SMART!!!

s -

m -

a -

r - penis

t -

Daichi Sawamura

quite calm about the whole coronavirus

like he knows it is serious and understands how it is spread but he’s still calm about it??

tells everyone to sanitize and wash hands on a regular. and social distancing!!

honestly still wakes up like he does on normal school days and does all his academics just fine.

he even does gym activities (besides volleyball) for 30 minutes to an hour!!!! he be running on that treadmil! getting stronk!

does each subject on his own for 20-40 min each day. he’s really good at self discipline

makes sure sugawara and asahi are up to date on school work and will gladly help.

sadly can’t help the first years (and probably second years) because that info is deep in his brain and basically forgot how to do it after a year or two of not using it.

VERY VERY VERY sad that volleyball nationals are cut off. this is his last year and for it to be??? gone??? just because of some flu?!?! hates it.

he wishes school to go back and still has hope that school will go back to normal in a couple of weeks (even though it’s a slim chance).

asks the teacher questions whenever he has questions. He’s also vv considerate so he’ll ask questions he knows the answer to but asks them for anyone who’s confused ab it/wants to ask but is too shy. (literally i lov daichi sm)

Eats a healthy amount of everything

asks asahi for any updates on corona even though he’s quite up to date himself. he just wanna make sure he didn’t miss anything.

also doesn’t mind being around his family. he’ll do more chores around the house to help his parents out :> he’s literally perfect wtf

def does worry about everyone in the volleyball gc and anyone else he has contact with. Will also email classmates and ask if they’re doing all right. Even away from volleyball he’s a team player ☺️✌️

Is happy for the rest of the day when asahi tells him dogs can’t get corona.

Yamaguchi Tadashi

oaoaiquqhdkoaiaagadjsiwi?

doesn’t know what to believe anymore

keeps in touch with everyone!! always online 24/7 on social media, vball gc, you name it.

Literally everyone is acting so normal why are people so calm am i the only one worrying about this and the worlds future like this year has been really bad so far for not just me but the whole nation actually the entire world honestly like war almost broke out in january and now this corona stuff is really buttering my crissont the wrong way-

Even though tsukishima literally gives No Fucks, yamaguchi is the complete opposite.

like tsukki and yamaguchi call on skype and eVERY TIME yamaguchi starts with ‘how have you been? do you feel sick at all? have you drank enough water today?’ and so on

“What are you even worrying about?”

“Well...what if you get the corona virius?... it can be deadly, you know!! Thousands of people have died from it!!! The fact school is shutting down and people are panicking is making me feel like i should be panicking-“

Tsukki will then snarkily reassure him it’s fine and people their age are the least likely to get it bad.

Yamaguchi will feel a little better afterwords

“Thank you, Tsukki!”

Tsukki will ‘tch’ it off

Even though he gets really good grades he has triuble finding motivation to do any school work?? doing school work in his own home? 😐

His home was kinda a place he can chill whereas school is a place he can be fully focused

but now his home is ALSO school??!!?

Luckily he understands the work, at least.

When he sees tsukishima on the call, too, he instantly says hello.

“Tsukki!! Hey!! 😁”

“Shut up.”

“Gomen, Tsukki.”

Yeah. Even when they aren’t at school, he’s still the same as always.

He takes extra care of his family and always stays in touch with other relatives. Especially grandpa and grandma. THE SECOND he learned elderly people are at more risk you bet your ass he’s calling them making sure they’re okay. He checks up on them everyday now.

He peobably practices volleyball a little, too. He’s more focused on schoolwork though.

Sugawara Koushi

Have you guys ate dinner yet? 🥺

obviously checking up on everyone

he would fail as a mother if he didn’t.

Actually reads in his free time?? He finally has time on his hands to read these books so.... here we are!

Wakes up at a scheduled time everyday (minus weekends. Maybe sleeps for an extra hour or so).

He dresses in pjs rather than actual clothes because he’s not going anywhere with this social distancing thing.

Always tries to lighten the mood when all the students are on the online call. Maybe crack some joke or innocently play around with the effects.

He still pays close attention in class and does quite well on his own. No help from his parents! He can do everything on his own! He a big boi!

Does homework really well, too. Probably does extra work or more work than needed just because it makes him feel good afterwords.

Honestly i can see him cooking in his free time. If he doesnt feel like reading or scrolling mindlessly through his phone, he gonna cook.

Will make the best cookies in the universe.

HAS A HECK OF A SWEET TOOTH. NOT A DAY GOES BY WITHOUT HIM GETTING HIS PRETTY HANDS ON SUM TREAT

Honestly isn’t too good with exercise so he might gain a few pounds or grow the smallest chub 🥺🥺🥺 he would be so cute omfg.

is realy involved with his family!! they play a board/card game every friday night and have the best time.

if he has a dog, cat, or literally any animal you know he’s gona be hanging with them since he has more time.

Still! Playing! Volleyball! I mean by now every boy is practicing at least a little bit. He would probably be in his backyard playing volleyball with his family. Theyy’d set up a net and everythin! They’re all rookies at it but he still cherishes the moments with them.

It’s honestly still practice. Better than nothing

He talks about how his family plays volleyball and everyone is so jealous like 😭😭 makes him more grateful hearing half the volleyball team saying they have to practice alone.

Watching youtube videos of random videos/vines making him giggling.

“Hey, Dachi, look at this video.”

IS A SWEETHEART STFU !!!

[sasukebarmitzvah]

watching every naruto opening and discussing my opinions because im bored liveblog

original

took me a little while to warm up to it idk why maybe because its not as up tempo and its a shonen and i want to get hype but i love it now. love the part where the camera pans around team 7 fighting randos they are babies… also its so funny when sasuke holds out his hand to naruto to help him out of the lake and he jsut fist bumps him. gay boy

Haruka fucking kanata baby!!!!!!!! a fav. like we all know this. i listen to the song just regularly a lot and every time it comes on shuffle im like Oh my god its haruka kanata. read the english translation of the lyrics… sns

this one got stuck in my head for a while lol. i like seeing everyone babie and i like naruto shaking his head at the end to dry off like a dog

DDMnanannaddnnaaaaa naaaaaaaaa nda aaWE ARE FIGHTING DEAMERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOLI OLI OLIOOOOoohh!!!!! very fun very good also a very good time in the show, hello tsunade

**edgy shonen opening where theres something important in front of a chain link fence**

lol skipping 6-9 bc thats the huge chunk of filler which i didnt actually watch most of

shippuden

heros come back is SO GOOD absolutely one of my favs. banger first of all. i love how its actually choreographed and naruto sakura kakashi are like moving to the beat and i love the part where the animation is like pencil sketchy and theyre running and their bodies warp bro its just cool. the part where everyone dramatically reaches for gaara is fun, also love deidaras moment. anyway i shake my ass to this song eveyrday

distance oh god oh fuck. YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!! the sasuke and naruto stuff where they are little baby at the beginning at the end we return to the same place theyre there and like about to stab each other i’m going to scream. i lvoe the song of course. hello sai! i love team 7s little spotlight moments where they get to pose to the music its so cute. why is sasuke snake jesus? DO you remember that long lost DREAM!!!!!!!!!!

BLUE BIRD YA BANGER ok the whole symbolism. when naruto falling next to sasuke rising is positioned like yin and yang lol. when naruto is falling from the sky but then sasuke comes to mind and he springs into action lol. ok random people from the fillers i dont care about. naruto fell in the lake he picks up the bird feather interspersed with a couple shots of sasuke horgh. additional reading: paper bag by fiona apple

closer is one of the ones where im like eh its ok its not my favorite and then it gets to the chorus and my dumb ass is jsut screaming YOU KNOW THE CLOSER YOU GET TO SMETHING THE TOUGHTER IT IS TO REACHIT. the funniest part where narutos moping and thinking of sasuke and then he just perks up and smiles at the camera like. gay boy. like getting to see the asuma fight scenes in this op, also it was so funny seeing him get all the screentime in this op knowing hes about to die like yeah very subtle

SHA LA LA!!!! LOVE IT i love it i love it soooo much first of all banger second of all naruto looking into the water and his reflection is sasuke. lollllll. metaphor m-e-t-a-p-h-o-r the little prechorus bit in the middle gives me chills. love sasuke walking into the purple pool like a smug motherfucker thats my boy. at the end zooming into sasukes pupil zoom out it’s narutos eye oh the poetry..

signs another one of the ones where im like eh whatever its fine but not my fav but by the chorus i am standing on the table freaking out. like fuck jiraiya but this one got me a lil. the lighting and choreography of the sasuke itachi fight bit is sooooo nice and pretty, love getting to see all the new players in the story. baby ame orphans fading to the shot of yahiko as pain.. :(

this one literally makes me cry. i get chills what the fuck. definitely one of my favs. am i a bitch? maybe. i like the song by itself but like the way the rise/general shape of the melody flows with the visuals its like oh god oh fuck. again fuck jiraiya but like the role his character serves as a link between these disparate groups of people and the way thats used in this opening… how it starts and ends with him writing and this is the arc where naruto reads tales of a gutsy ninja and he learns about how he got his name and jiraiya wrote the book and hes WRITING and im going CRAZY!! i’m starting to tear up watching it rn. the shot of konan and the pains in that moment just before they leap forward. Sayonaaaaaaara aa lksasldfkwpoeifjhnuerIELFeuiertekdjsnlfweiourbg kakashis moment is cool in this op. also love to see the girls getting fight scenes in this op cus they sure dont in the actual show LOL anyway yeah im at the part where the melodys just hitting sooo different oh my god naruto frog eyes

DIVERRRRRRR. FAV literally like naruto is drowning. hes drowning and everyone is pushing him up so he can breathe again everyone is fighting to save him and thnen he s ouf ot the water and then he sees sasuke drowning and he JUMPS BACK IN. FOR ONE PERSON EVEN THOUGH ALL THESE OTHER PEOLE were working to help him out he dives back in for SASUKE whos drowning in the eyehole of obitos mask which is cool. ok yeah this is another one where im like tearing up because THe cymbal is em….. the way The movement of the visuals is choreographed with the song is so much. nico TOUCHED the fucking walls.

this one kinda annoys me i dont know why it just wasnt my favorite. love the sasuke and naruto staring at each other intensely moment though, would this be a shippuden opening without that. also the part at the end where sakura holds up her kunai and it like slashes and covers sasuke and naruto… inch resting…

newsongs so weird i love it. like what the hell is going on. why is naruto running like hes from some weird gmod video from 2013. love the LITERAL choreography, everyone dancing to the song like this is a musical. theres just a lot of weird moments which is fun. love sai naruto and sakura making the seal together to shoot lightning. raikage leaping gracefully across the beach

i do not enjoy this one. i just dont. it just feels like we’re bootlicking which of course we are because this is the war arc and everything is a nightmare

i remember seeing the first episode with this opening and i was excited bc its like… great another naruto pining for sasuke one this is what im here for. a light banger. minato manlet monday. ohh right this was the one where gaara sees his dad again and his OH I SEE SASUKEE

Banger! nico did indeed touch the walls again. i like that this one is like visually thematically consistent thru the whole thing, i like the nighttime dimly lit atmosphere with the bursts of brighter colorful lighting, also whenever i see tsunade i freak out. narutos cute at the end

SUCH A BANGER!!! also very cool visual style, appreciate it for that like the last one, its got that pretty consistent aesthetic with the red sky and the high contrast black blocking its fun and cool to watch. did i mention the song is a bit of a banger. obito passing thru the rock is cool too bad hes an idiot

ok from this one there were two lines i remember always seeing in the english sub that made me freak out. and one of them was like “this red hot love burning my heart” and it was over kakashi and obito fighting like damn OK. also the “i put the candle out with my finger” thing sticks in my head idk why. hate that we have the narutos big meaty claws i mean manly hands moment though. omg its hashirama and madara and then it CUTS TO SASUKE AND NARUTO IN THE SAME POSE LOL OK…

SILHOUETTE IS a banger… not as much so as some of the others but its a lot of fun. very colorful op, we got some naruto pining for sasuke, classic. also love the thing where ppl are running and they age as they do and they sort of grow into their present selves, a fun visual bit. the end where narutos like obito be nice now look at all these people behind me who think youre a meanie please be nice :(((((((((

another one with a really good visual principle ugh i love how the style of the show is integrated w the styles of more traditional printmaking its very swexy and nice to look at

LINE uugrgh i love this one, maybe a fav… naruto chasing after the light and sasuke trying so hard to snuff it out as they both reflect on their memories of each other oh god oh fuck… also i love the bits where it just has all the characters in a row like it reminds me of that one post about how in the endgame trailer they had a shot of all the female characters together to be like Girl power!! and someone was like yeah thats them showing u exactly how many women theyre going to disrespect LMAO but yeah i do love this op. also the song itself being slower w/ the triplet tempo is a nice change of pace

blood circulator hee hee… the version of this with naruto and sasuke moments is A Lot but even just the generic first version is fun. the part where narutos like knocked on his face hes sinking into the tar and hes not even trying to save himself hes just staring at sasuke, but then he sees sasuke distressed and he goes bijuu mode immediately like What did u say about my mans? there is some homoeroticism

i really hate everything about this i hate it all. sasuke is cute. thats it. ok first of all why did choji cut his hair his long hair look was so gooooooood. hinata bimboification? i mean if anything it was fun to watch these fillers just cus it was fun to watch kakashi be the hokage but really goofy and also the Crumbs tossed to the kakairus… but yeah i hate everything temari got bimbofied too like ugh please let her be a dyke :( this isnt even me talking necessarily about the opening this is me just being like i hate the naruto ending. LOL SASUKE AND NARUTOS NO HOMO BRO HIGH FIVE AT THE END LOLLLLL

ok im done

[aloneinxthenight]

SPN Questionnaire

Tagged by: @thehotterwinchester

1. When did you start watching Supernatural?

I started watching when it started airing. I remember seeing the promos for it on the WB and being like “Oh dang that looks interesting, I wanna see that.” So I watched the first episode and I was instantly hooked. Funny, back then the Bloody Mary episode almost made me pee my pants, now I’m just like “OMG LOOK AT HOW TINY THEY WERE!”

2. Who is your favorite in TFW?

I would say Sam. 

3. Who is your least favorite in TFW?

Uggghhhhh, why do you do this to me?? Ughh... Okay, so, I might actually have to say Dean. DON’T GET ME WRONG, I LOVE DEAN. But I feel a sort of protectiveness over Cas and I really like his character development.

4. Tag your top 5 Supernatural blogs.

I REFUSE TO CHOOSE. YOU CANNOT MAKE ME.... Besides, they all know who they are.

5. Who is your favorite character (not including TFW)?

JODY FUCKING MILLS. I love Jody. I think she has come SO FAR since we first met her but she was always a bad ass and I hope she sticks around.

6. Who is your favorite woman in Supernatural?

I can’t say Jody again because I already did. Honestly? Ellen Harvelle. Okay apparently I have a thing for the mother figures in this show, I LOVE THEM ALL OKAY?

7. John or Mary?

How could you do this to me? I love them both. Ugggghhhh, I mean I’ve read John’s journal. But I also really like what they have been doing with Mary. Mary was up on this pedestal until season 12 and 13 and I love how she’s developed. So I’ll say Mary. BUT I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR THE 300TH EPISODE GUYS, SO FUCKING EXCITED.

8. What were your first opinions of Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack?

Sam: Sam was the first character I really was drawn to. As a younger sibling, I saw a lot of things I could relate with in him and I loved his personality. It also helped that Jared is really good looking, but I’ll be honest, back then I thought his nose was SO BIG. It bugged me so much. Now I don’t even care my dude. Also I remember that I felt so protective of him after the first episode when Jess died. I was like ‘YOU BEST STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY SAM” when anything would happen to him. Obviously, I am still this way. 

Dean: I thought Dean was funny as shit. I thought he definitely acted like an older brother and part of the reason I really enjoyed the show and still do is how Sam and Dean play off one another in their relationship as siblings because me and my sister are pretty similar in terms of how we talk to each other. I really liked Dean though I remember being like “Dude, really?” when he hit on Jess RIGHT IN FRONT OF SAM. 

Cas: I thought Cas was really interesting. I thought the whole dynamics of Angels coming into play was super interesting and I was kind of like Sam was when he first met Cas like “OMG AN ANGEL THIS IS AMAZING” especially because of his entrance. I thought Cas was bad ass. I mean the way he just looked down at the knife in his chest like “... what is that? you stuck something in me? huh.” and then just pulled it out. That was awesome.

Jack: Jack is amazing. I was unsure of him at first. I mean he made his entrance and I was like “oh dang...” But it was when he was walking around naked that I really began to love him like immediately. When he talked to the Drive-thru statue like “Father?” I was done. He has been m precious cinnamon bun son ever since and I will fight for his protection with my life. 

9. What’s your favorite season?

I don’t care if I catch flack for it, right now my favorite season is season 13. I REALLY enjoyed that season.Season 4 is a close second.

10. What’s your least favorite season?

As much as I love Soulless!Sam for the wonderful work out scene he gave us, I didn’t really care for season 6 all that much. There were good episodes in the season, no lie, but it wasn’t my favorite.

11. Opinions on Destiel?

I don’t ship it. Others are free to and you can ask anyone who I know who ships it, and that’s quite a few people who I am friends with, I don’t bash ships that I don’t ship. I am respectful of their ship, but I do not ship it. I see them as best friends, brothers even, but not as lovers. But that’s the thing about media, everyone is open to their own interpretations of it. And that is mine.

12. Do you believe Supernatural queerbaits?

I think, and I say this as someone who loves Misha, Misha mostly queerbaits, but not intentionally, probably because he jokes around with the fandom about Destiel, but I don’t think the show does it as much as some people say it does. I think it’s mostly because I don’t see the ship that I don’t consider guys having deep conversations or relying on each other as signs that they are in love. I don’t know, but that’s just me. 

13. Seasons 1-7 or 8-14?

8-14. What? I said it.

14. Favorite villain (plot wise)?

I really liked Azazael. 

15. Do you think they should end the Lucifer plot line?

I don’t think they really can... at least in the way we think they can. Lucifer is supposed to be the embodiment of evil, but in the show, he is that and so much more. However, there will always need to be the embodiment of evil in terms of symbolism. Even if God isn’t around, he isn’t dead. I don’t think Lucifer really CAN die because so many people believe in him, even if it’s not the kind of belief he wants.

16. Who do you think has gone through more trauma (Sam, Dean, or Cas)?

I think Sam and Dean have gone through more trauma than Cas has, just because Cas has lived a LOT LONGER THAN THEY HAVE so in the scope of who has endured the most in their lifetime, Cas spent the majority of his life in heaven, which was rigid, but not that bad. Sam and Dean have had trauma as a best friend since six months after Sam was born. Between Sam and Dean, I actually think Sam has suffered a great deal, I mean he was in Hell longer, he was tortured by the devil that whole time and probably had to witness Adam getting tortured by Michael as well. BUT, does that mean I think Dean’s trauma isn’t valid? Hell no. Dean has a lot of trauma as well. I think it’s a matter of perspective because obviously, as we are invested in these characters and this show, we are gonna say our favorite brother has suffered the most, but you gotta love them both.

17. What’s your favorite Supernatural episode?

Any episodes having to do with the GhostFacers. I Know What You Did Last Summer (ahem >.>), Party On Garth, A Most Holy Man... Oh, I was supposed to pick one? The Fuck, I can’t PICK ONE.

I 18. Do you like case episodes?

OF COURSE. I LOVED Advanced Thanatology.

19. Who do you relate most to in TFW?

At this point? Honestly, Cas, lmfao. LISTEN, HE JUST WANTS HIS FRIENDS TO BE HAPPY AND OKAY AND I SUPPORT THAT.  

20. Why do you like Supernatural?

I know it’s apparently an unpopular opinion but I actually still like the show for both the characters AND the plot. God forbid we enjoy the plot anymore, lol. I started watching Supernatural because I was interested in its premise. I kept watching it because it was interesting and there were ghosts and demons and ghouls and the guys being hot was a major plus. I also kept watching because I became invested in the story and the brothers and I am still invested in the story and the brothers. As well as the other characters. I am invested in the Winchester family, those who are blood-related and non-blood related. It just is what it is.

21. If you could bring back one character and kill off another who would they be?

I actually would love to see Jess brought back? Just so we could see Sam’s reaction to it after 14 years. Or Jo and Ellen. OR KEVIN. I wanna see Kevin and Jack bond tbh. Could you imagine Kevin showing Jack memes? Just like imagine that for a moment. As for killing someone off... I honestly don’t know... I have to think on this... Hmm... I guess Nick? Have Lucifer put him out of his misery so he has full control of the vessel? I DON’T KNOW. I can’t think of anyone I want to kill off.

Tagging: @madehunter , @leeriverofwordsjordan , @carryontm , @nephilimtm , @angritm , @thelegendarydarcylewis , anyone else who wants to do it, go on my dears

[starkissr]

idk why

ppl want to be fake friends like i’d rather have real friends or no friends but i don’t get why ??? ppl rly wanna try n be my fake friend like no listen i’m sorry but i can’t be ur friend on the day u feel lonely n a stranger when ur thriving and omg!!!! this one rly just told me my expectations are too high bc get this! i asked her to consider me like o ok lol so you’re rly telling me in ur twisted idea of a friend I’m not allowed to expect u to care abt me like isn’t that only the literal definition of a friend my mistake??? bc i totally get having no expectations of ppl and all that but at the end of the day when ur then best friend decides to ignore ur existence then come back into ur life whenever they feel like it? like my problem isn’t that ur trying to come back into my life i’m open to whatever ok but when u can’t have consistent intentions to be a good friend u auto = fake aka nobody ???? i GET that ppl mess up obv i’m not perfect either but it’s just admitting that and actually understanding where u went wrong n at least making an honest effort of not doing it again that is SO CRUCIAL

wow wow wojeofiae and like it’s just soooo funny when ur pride is the fucking reason we’re not friends??? like if ur ego is what’s holding u back i rly don’t need someone so easily swayed by that bs in my life? so no i’m not gonna try or give a fuck abt u if ur idea of a friend is not aligned w mine like and if it isn’t that’s fine we don’t have to be friends uk but like idk it sucks tbh bc i’ve been sooo transparent abt how ur lack of words/actions hurt me so bad so u literally know but don’t do anything w this knowledge??? n still wanna try and talk to me like we’re friends after?? fuck no

it’s sad that 2 of my absolute best friends did this to me in diff ways but like this is the underlying pattern n it just hurts so bad when the person ur the closest to in the world and has learned the most abt u and has been thru sooo many ups and downs just one day decides that ur not important to them anymore uk??? like and when they come back later bc of c that’s what they always fucking do! they expect it to be like the old days and make u feel like ur fucking crazy for being hurt when they literally just left u in the dark. it was so painful to grieve thru that period without u bc i had to feel what it was like when u turned ur back on me and yes it was v fucking cold bc when i was ur friend it was all sunny days n that was a stark contrast but 

also these past few days rly just make me wanna ask u why tf are u so fucking bipolar and a passive aggressive cunt to me one second and talking to me in ur bubbly tone like im ur friend legitimately 2 seconds later bc oh u just remembered u can use me for this thing or that??? i’ve literally never met an angrier or immature person? like ok obv i’m just off one on this rant so i’m gonna explain just how this girl tried me today! so she’s my roommate n keep in mind like i have told her explicitly my problem w her is that she hurt me when she didn’t communicate w me n went mia like i said this multiple times so no guess work needed n anyway today i was playing music in our room and guess what this girl does!!! puts her music on louder than mine! at first i was like?????????????? literally what? LIKE DID U RLY!!!!!!!!! JUST DO THAT LOL it was rly too much for u to tell me u wanted to play ur music???? i was honestly amazed and was like ok like obv this just sounds like shit at this pt n tbh all i wanted to do was just ask u why u felt that u didn’t want to tell me u wanted to play ur music? but then i checked myself and remembered ur words that i am expecting too much of u when i ask why u don’t care to communicate certain things so i guess it’s too much to ask u this too so like what now? n i just turned my music off after this internal resolution that u literally told me i can’t expect anything from u aka i can’t ever expect u to show up for me so like who is someone to u that is there one day and not the next?? like a relationship needs a degree of stable commitment and if i can never count on u why would i want to waste my time waiting on u to fuck up / my breath for calling u my friend? 

the ppl i’m lucky enough to call my friends are ppl that i’m inspired by and i’m not saying ur an ugly person like obv u have parts of u that are so beautiful and that’s who i saw in u before but like if u keep showing me how ugly u can be don’t blame me if u singlehandedly broke my trust in u ??? AND ANYWAY LOL if ur reading this still the CHERRY on top of it all and what actually got me fucking mad is this !!!! girl!!!! asked me for a bandaid a breath after i turned my music off. like. o. ... .m. . . m. g. i just honestly couldn’t believe it n w her cheery ass tone like this is what i’m talking abt how u only matter to them when they need u!!! i was debating asking her abt the music thing now that she decided i was worth speaking to but literally it just wasn’t worth it to hear another one of ur excuses??? i would’ve loved to see what u would’ve twisted out of that situation tbh but i was also like ok like i don’t wanna help u bc ur a cunt but then i was like uk what! she wins if i’m a bitter person bc of her by telling her no so i let her have my stupid bandaid but talk to me like we’re friends one more time and i swear to fucking god !!!!! i won’t be so silent 

n my friends are like r u gonna be friends w her after n i’m like ? what friend treats a friend like this ????????? like real q? this is not a friend. why would i say yeah i’ll be friends w her just to make her happy? no bitch my one requirement to be my friend is to act like a fucking friend and if u tell me that’s expecting too much of u like ok but u have to understand! this is my definition of a friend i can’t be ur friend then ! stop half ass trying!!!!!! either leave me tf alone or the moment u choose to decide (and actually act like) u wanna be real to me is when i consider u my friend again uk!! i’m not gonna hold ur shit over ur head but idk i feel like it’s bc they think that i will that they don’t try or honestly i don’t know their reason why but all i do know is there’s a blatant discrepancy between their words and their actions. for both of them but like the one who did this to me first even apologized to me and like i honestly rly appreciated that like it was only! a year and a half late lol but still i was happy but then they went ahead and did them and i haven’t heard of them since! like ok COOL so u just wanted to say we’re friends then go away again like that’s what i’m saying i don’t get it why do ppl want to be fake friends? what’s the pt????????? wow ok these are just the questions that i’m asking myself rn it like tears me apart that the ppl who know me best can’t bother to act like my friend when they wanna still have the perks of calling me a friend ! literally if any of them were to hit me up and put an attempt that lasts o idk beyond a single day to be my friend then i’m down i’m there but don’t fucking tell me i have high expectations for thinking ur my friend yeah obv i’m rly frustrated at everyone for complicating everything like clearly i care so much abt these ppl and that’s why i’m hell bent on trying to make myself feel ok for not taking them back bc as much as i love them i have self respect and literally it would just become an emotionally abusive relationship if i try to engage in a friendship where the friend would just let me down every day like i already have my own shit i’m dealing w why tf would i want to put myself thru unnecessary pain?

like everyone knows when ur being genuine or not. the recent one gave me a fake apology and it was so clear it was fake and last night she even admitted that it was n that she doesn’t think she needs to apologize and like i’m just like ......... so let’s just say i forgot that u can’t stick to ur word ok.... did u rly just have to remind me again?! this is what i’m talking abt it’s just painful and i can’t be ur friend if u can’t be real w me ok that’s all if anyone wants to be a human w me say hi like i rly don’t think anyone reads this so i was gonna delete my tumblr so long ago bc like whats the pt if no one sees u but then i realized how fucking cool that is and how liberating it is to just like put ur thoughts out into the interweb like journal writing is cool n all but on the off chance someone other than me does happen to see this then hi ur only looking at my deepest thoughts so i might as well know who u r lol but like if not (prob) then that’s ok i’ll just lol at myself when i reread this later! as stressful as this is like omg i’m graduating next week and i won’t have these kinda petty problems anymore and like that’s cool when that happens but idk i’m just not ready to grad f m u so ik as like annoying as this is and as stressed as i am abt my classes and assignments and finals and the future i’m eternally grateful for my education n like that’s why i don’t wanna leave! it’s the little things like tn i was at a coffee shop studying w friends n in the car ride back me n one of them were talking abt that one cute barista like he doesn’t matter but having someone to just say whatever the fuck u want w n confide in! it’s these little pleasures that i just love so much!!! n like i didn’t even notice but my friend brought to my attn like how he was acting kinda dumbstruck when he was talking to us n i was like lol fuck ur right that’s fucking hilarious n i had a new thing to laugh abt that i wouldn’t have if i had experienced it alone uk! like talking is literally what allows a relationship to flourish so w these 2 ppl where they just don’t communicate w me like that sounds like such a small flaw but the reason why it’s such a problem is that it literally stunts the friendships growth! how can we connect and etc if u can’t share what’s rly going on w me??????? or like why do u feel u don’t need to talk abt the truth?????? but ya as i was saying lol it’s ok i’ll just have to grind until i can get into my next school (hopefully, someone take me pls lol sos) but ya idk i suffer a lot during school but tbh it’s my fav ever so i’m so sad i’m graduating!!!!!! but like the only thing that’s making it ok is bc all of us are saying the same thing and it’s comforting that even tho we all dk what the fuck is going on i’m not the only one 

so mostly sad bc i’m gonna miss my real friends here soooooooo much like w all my heart omg nothing will be the same again and i’m not ready! i’ll miss being seconds away and the fact that i can go over or call them like hoe get ready bc we’re going to the beach that’s down the street!!!! at my parents place the beach is half an hour away and i was in love but u had to drive like an extra 15-30 min to get to even nicer beaches n bruh let me tell u i rly did myself right by going to a school an actual 5 seconds away from the beach and granted besides us students it’s a rich white conservative person area but still it’s in a cute n clean area?? omg like this is just as good as it gets uk??? so ya blessed to be stressed 

!?!?@#

[city-of-angel]

Dear Self,

Hi. Bonjour~~

How are you? It’s been hard lately yeah? Are you still thinking about negative thoughts? I bet you are.  (PS : Suddenly it’s raining outside after so much days dry and clean on the floor TT.TT)

There’s few notes that i want you to remembered. As usual, it might be easier to said, lighter to wrote but surely heavier to done. But let’s begin from the beginning. The highlihts about who you were before, what you’ve been thru and who you’ve become. 

Chapter 1.

Do you remember when you were a little girl . You were always be a happy girl. You love to being a center of the attention. You love to sing and dance. And everyone’s been so proud of you. Your brother loves you so much and he likes to hold your hand everytime you’re going out to school or somewhere else together. I know you’re questioning something in your head about how did it happened then? The distance and the boundaries. It might be something that you cannot understand at your young age. Maybe something happened that makes your relationship with him makes you more  distant and far. It’s nothing compared bout what happened to your parents. After time passed, there’s major change that happened about how they talk and how they treat you, and make you change the perspective about how you see a family . But let’s we talk this in another page since it will take a really long page if we break it down here,and  to remember it will be exhausting again to you. In short, you are a believer. You are always believe everything’s going to be okay. You believe in goodness and the magic of time. Everytime , someone or a condition knock you down, you always get up, put your dang pretty smile and prove them that nothing’s gonna change you, you will always be the person who have faith and sided with grace ,kindness, and forgiveness. Everytime, But not until what happenned at July 2019 rite? After all these years,  You kind of questioning about what you did ? Yes, the world has cheated on you. Because the world never be fair.You start to challenge to be as selfish as them, as rude as them. But since you are a natural person. You just can’t and you start over again . But again this time, you STILL believe it wourld work. You believe it wouldn’t failed. But then it would. Again. In the most harsh and worst way ever. 

Chapter 2.

Remembered that day when everything teared you up. You thought it was a for a while, for one case only, You never knew and never imagine about what coming after is really coming. You keep wondering why did i deserve this? What did i do wrong? Did i really do wrong? Is this really my fault? You keep blaming yourself over and over again till you believe that you are the one to blame. But back again , after one and two case ended. There’s come another hurricane that make you want to yell and scream “ Why again? Why me? “. The rage, the sadness , the unfairness comes right in hand wiithout early notice and it’s shaking your world like ..really shaking your worlds. Your perspective changed, the way you see things changed, Everything that you believe is not real anymore.  And your eyes opened, and you know rite since the very first place , you knew that you needed this to grew. Then you get up again, back into your feet, doing many activities, meeting new people, being a happy girl. You thought it was a over, The sorrow is over, the tears is done. But after all the shock case is shown, it left with you with such a deep blank whole . Make you questioning again about what should you do? Where’s your direction? Can i do this? I won’t do this? It’s a simple questions for an adult like you. But you lost your point of view, your principal, your grip, your anchor, mostly your truth about life,  everything that you believe is questioned you back, since you don’t believe anything real is really real, don’t believe kindness will won, you don’t believe anything at all. Not sometimes believing that you are really worth this world, Not believing anyhting at all. That was very tough but see you still wake up right in the morning, put your clothes and smile? That was very hard, but you know there’s many people to love to see your face and hear your laugh. Many people waiting for you to chat them back, to call them back, to meet you in the middle of the rain.  So how you can say that you are not worthy? You are so loved. So you know. You are so loved by many. 

Chapter 3.

You don’t need to stop crying nor stop feeling pain. You must go through so you can be free. Take a look back into the past 2 months. There’s so many things that you should be grateful for. Mostly people who’s been there for you and boost you up.  So say thanks to them:

- For F

   ‘ Thank you for being true. Thank you for being such a good company from the beginning, answering phone, chating back, being honest, thoughtful. F i never thought that you will be so open to me and telling me all the truth i need to hear and i already told you every dark side,dark memory that makes me realize that i am now in the right path. Thank you for being my ear and eyes. Thank you for listening and answering and mostly for your time. Really’

- For V

‘ You are a miracle. You’re such a good person and strong woman. I learned so much from you . And in the end, you are a miracle that solve one of my problems. When i look back , i never thought THAT will lead to THIS. You know? Who knows? That we solved each other problems. Thank you for always worrying about me. Thank you for being there all the time . And accept me in my worst‘

- For N

‘ You are my twins. You are always see me before i can see myself. Thank you for understanding the deepest, darkest, silliest, scariest of my thought. Thank you for holding my hands, reminding me of God, grace and patience. You are so pure and you make me want to keep my grace’

- For M

‘ My longtime friends and a person who always have a special place in my life. 10 years and finally we met again. Even we’re not sharing so many things but you saved me that day when you drove right away to my town. You are a natural person, seeing you and talking with you again is such a moment to remember to me. “

- For LIMA + New Friends at New Office

‘ You are gold guys, Your joke made my day. And your sillyness cheer me up, I am so sorry in the first place that i am not opened up to you. It’s hard for me to talk to a new person. But we meet like you destined to boost me up. You guys make me smile. All day . And that’s gold to me.So thank you so much.”

- For Happy Girls.

‘ Mi moms, mi sist. Thank you for teaching me how to be a great woman. You both are a true warrior. Looking back of what you both been going thru in the past maybe not compared with what’s happened to me. So for that, i am so grateful that you trust me as your little sister. You are both my wings on my each side. “

- For Communities

‘ Too many people so i can’t mention it one by one . But thank you for having me back, I miss the crowd, audiences, clap and you guys so welcoming me back. It make me realize that i am so loved and i can still doing many things, many pleasure and after what happened ,the world will not stop rite? Show must go on. ”

- For A

‘ You are a treasure. You tolerate me so well until i keep feeling guilty inside my head. Surely i can’t go pass thru this without your point of view, your thoughts, and your wisdom that make me realize about the truth that i want to reach. I will be forever grateful and forever thankful, and hoping someday i can share your wisdom to another people and i can become someone truly blessed like you. I believe we have met before? Didnt we? Many thanks. “

- For T

‘ Mon garcon!! Thank you for being such a random new friends. You always there when i want to meet. You never define me , You never try to read between the lines. You make me feel i deserve a good company without any persona at all. It might be seems nothing to you. But since we just met not so long ago. You spark my mood day by day. Each time and everytime and surely God bless you and Thanks really not for trying to define, judge , guessing or read me at all .“

- For Moms, Dad, Bro , Sis

‘ Thank you for understanding me about i’m going thru even i’m not sharing many details. I feel guilty and horrible because part of this plan is your dreams too for me. I am so truly sorry.And  I love you so much’

POST CREDIT.

Dear Self, Remember you want to be known as the original you. You dont want people to see u like “ Oh look at that girl, I understand that she become like ‘that/in worst way” because she’s having a bad past bla bla” . 

But you want to be remembered as “ See her, look how bad what’s she going thru and still she keep her grace”

What a beautiful word. Grace. It’s not only define nice , good or beauty. But it’s a Grace.

Today is the big day for you. BUT not really that big since you’re not really took interest of it for the past 2-3 yearsXD

But Happy Belated Birthday to You :) You deserved all the love in the world and see what’s people has done for you. That you should be grateful. You are so loved. Remember that. You are so loved.

[yumenosakiacademy]

metr0con 2019 sunday diary

cosplayed: tsukasa, breakfast: ramen, snack: one (1) root beer lollipop

for future me only. also, disclaimer: im writing this at 5 am while extremely tired afte waking up from being asleep at my desk. i forgot a lot of specifics in all that time since i left the con n most of his is mediocre.

so i arrived at 10 am for the ha!kyuu panel only yo go to the panel room and see that it had been canceled (the panel name was crossed out n “cancelled” was written next to the panel name) so i had woken up early for Nothing bc i also had no panel at 11 so i had 2 free hrs to kill. i also checked the room where the UT panel was supposed to b happening in bc i like UT n had nothing to do, but there was no one in the room so.. unfortunately, my stomach started hurting rly bad, so a good chunk of that time was spent w me sat on the floor near a wall thingy or walking slowly. unfortunately the dealers room hadnt been opened yet so i just sat around then when the dealers room opened i started to wander a bit more. i didnt take a lot of photos bc my energy and socialness was kinda drained due to the stomachache pain so like. rip. 

then there was the dd-lc panel! in it, some guy in the audience offered natsuki snack bars (n she took one, as well as gave one to yuri) after calling her “the starving one”, and ome guy said “natsuki, your dad’s a dick. can i adopt you” n went up to the panel table n sifned a piece of paper monika wrote on that was ‘adoption papers’ and he gave natsuki a hug n called her his daughter for the rest of the panel. some guy dared natsuki to rip a page out of her manga (she had 2 books of manga on the table) n she actually DID rip out a page, and not a useless one like the “you’re reading the wrong way” page, either. the audience was like “why!!” n she n monika were like “i’m/impulsive!!”. natsuki was frequently referred to w “baby” (as im “she’s baby”) throughtout the panel. everyone thought yuri was the most fashionable when asked on a truth. sayori was asked how it was “hanging” and what her favorite brand of rope was.

after that, i Wanted to go to the she r-a princess alliance, but when i kept glancing out at the riverwalk, there was no one there?? so i just went to the bn-ha improv n it was!! actually funny. there was a skit where iida, denki, n kirishima were at a coffee shop n present m!c was the barista n iida ordered black coffee but said it wasnt right or smth or he never rly got his order, denki asked for a mocha with seventeen shots of expresso (he then drank it n did the “wey wey” friend brain thing later b4 the skit ended and was also vibrating after drinking it), and kirishima listed off a ton of things for his drink n kept going on and on. another one was bakugou being shown to be a “mommys boy” in front of uraraka and shinsou (i think) and there was a mitsuki in the audience so she went up (and actually brought snacks for the panelists! like a true mom) and during the skit she showed them his baby photos and pushed him down n at some point idk how she was sitting on his back n using him as a chair. there was also a skit w bakugou as the person at a coffee shop that had NO drinks whatsoever, only a bagel. n iida was like “what’s the flavor?” n bakugou just kept going “..bagel.” n “bagel flavor. i dunno.” n iida asked how much it was n bakugou went “$400″. then while present m!c was going on abt wanting a drink n getting angy, the iida went into the audience n started asking a few random ppl while they walked down the aisle “is this a dunkin donuts?”

after that i just walked around bc i had 2 more hrs w Nothing to do and stumbled upon a casual FP group in the dealers room but before i could get  picture one of them recognized the character on my sign or just the series or smth i think but onething led to another n i started talking with them and i sat down w them but they were like “can you like, introduce us to ens-tars we hear a lot abt it” so i went on the wiki n showed them the characters n the gentaro rly liked rabits (shino n nito in particular) n rei, dice liked yuzuru n shinobu, n ramuda liked tori n rei. i showed them reis cgs, specifically the one w kaoru and his crossroads cg n i was like “the cgs that signlehandedly made the whole fandom h*rny for like. a week.” n the gentaro was like “you mind if i [takes a drink] Thirst.” n the gentaro was also interested in koga n i was like “he’s an edgy wolfk!n who likes punk music” and i talked abt what wataru is like n fice was like “he seems like hifumi” n im like “he rly is!! he’s hifumikin.” n for shu, ramuda was like “apparently hes an asshole” n i was like “yea definitely.” n when they asked me to describe leo i was like “oh uh. he’s Fuck. i dunno how to describe him! i dont rly like him that much tbh. he’s ecentirc n one of the oddballs n he composes on walls and literally their drama cd back in the day is knights looking for him n like, finding him behid a bush composing going ‘i got inspiration!!’” n i referred to midori as the suicidal one n i was like “you tink im joking but anytime anything happens he always goes ‘i wanna die’” and when i talked abt souma ramuda was like “is he friends with shinobu?” since i’d already described shinobu n i was like “well they kno each ogher but theyre not rly friends iirc.. they had an event together tho”. at one point the ramuda paused the music they were playing in the bg n decided toplay ens-tars music n they chose undead n started blasting Death Game Holic n i was like “...oh. that’s not undead” n ramuda was like “it says undead..?” n i was like “its Deadmanz! a former unit w koga, keito, n rei” n i started jamming out n the gentaro slightly joined me for a sec. anyway uh. god these tidbits of convo r all out of order im sry but idk what caused this part of the convo but the ramuda said they were ramudakin n the gentaro said they were lowkey gentarokin n i think they mentioned these bc dice said they cosplayed dice yet arent dicekin?? i cant rly remember. oh also when i showed the gentaro rei they were like “oh i kin him now. im not saying in kinning, but im Kinning” or smth like that n im gjhnsmk at one point i mentioned my friend kuma’s dice rat art edit n the gentaro wanted 2 see it but i couldnt show em bc it was too far back in my tumblr dms. we started talking abt MTC and how ramuda wishes they got like, more hardcore rock stuff like Death Game Holic (which was still playing) bc they seemed “gangsta n hardcore” then immediately mellowed out in their songs after that n i said that yokohama walker still like, slaps tho n it kinda calms me down n ramuda said papillion calms them down. the ramuda was shocked at tori’s high voice bc they knew his va as worick from gangsta n didnt think toris voice would b That High n were surprised when they heard tori’s solo. 

after that, i had a hard time trying to decide between the LL dance panel or the hs panel n just decided on the LL panel n i hav the dances on video so yay (the final song got cut off 3/4 of the way thru n im so :(( but oh well...) n they played Telephone/Rumors and “Who’s Most Likely”. between this panel and the next one, i talked to a kaito who was the aki hana’s hanayo the previous day n we just talked abt some stuff n at one point they pulled out an izanagi plush n they asked if i was into pers0na n i was like “yea! i even was gonna cosplay adachi but my gun didnt come in n i dont think i coulda done his wig” n they apparently had abt 300 hrs on pers0na 3 FES n we talked abt how stat grinding is such a repetitive, boring thing in pers0na 3.

the bn-ha panel! i... dont remember a whole lot abt this panel im sorry. but like, halway thru, they started playing games w he audience after q n a n i got bored bc they did things like red light green light n simon says so i just took selfies while most of the audience played along. during the qna i remember someone asked shigaraki if their fog plushie could b a league of villains member tho n he said ys n held the push when it was handed to him. someone gave bakugou a giant human-sized fan n todoroki went up against bakugou w his rainbow fan. 

[surveystodestressme]

50.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 11

1001. What has caused you to reinvent yourself or reevaluate who you are? i just wasn’t happy with who i was as a person and what i was doing with my life honestly. 1002. Name three annoying bands: insane clown posse, blood on the dance floor, and one direction when they were a thing 1003. Have you ever been to a foam party (a big dance floor full of soap foam that people dance in at a club)? If yes did you get into the foam? no i haven’t but that sounds like it’d be fun and very messy 1004. Who do you take for granted? Who makes you feel taken for granted? i feel like i take my boyfriend and family for granted sometimes and i shouldn’t 1005. Short, knee, or ankle skirts? short preferably

1006. Do you wear a hat? occasionally 1007. Did you watch Sifl and Ollie on MTV? How about Liquid Television? The Maxx? none 1008. What do you like that is NOT part of pop culture? idk rlly 1009. What music makes you feel: Sexy? buttons by the pussycat dolls lol Passionate? really slow music Violent? screamo Romantic? slow stuff Sad? any song with sad lyrics Happy/joyous? rock or pop Ecstasy? idk lol 1010. Who’s your favorite cartoon character? spongebob 1011. Does break dancing impress you? hell yeah 1012. Are you a smooth operator? not really 1013. Would you rather be a police officer or a criminal? a police officer 1014. Do you believe that government decisions should be made based more on economics or more on social reform? i mean, a lil bit of both would be nice 1015. Why do ‘they’ spend money to sterilize needles that are going to be used to give lethal injections? idk man 1016. This summer have you Been to the beach? not this summer no been to the movies? several Played mini golf? i think i did actually Gone for a walk? plenty of times 1017. Would you rather lay in bed all night talking or have sex all night long? i love talking all night long!! maybe a lil sex in between conversation 1018. Have you ever eaten tofu? yep 1019. Who needs a brain? everyone??? 1020. Who needs a heart? everyone??????? 1021. Does the moon have an affect on your mood? nahh 1022. Do you feel pressure on Friday and Saturday to have fun, go out and party? not really. 1023. Many people will say that the Harry Potter books are pure fluff with no literary value. Do you agree? nahh they’re good books.  i’ve only read thru the 5th 1024. Is Harry Potter comparable to The Chronicles of Narnia and the Lord of the Rings? i love the chronicles of narnia, that shit is sooo good.  but i’ve never read the lord of the rings books so idk bout those 1025. What are you doing next Wednesday? getting a new tattoo!! 1026. Why do so many people think Elvis is still alive? conspiracy theorists 1027. What couldn’t you live your life without? jackson and my family 1028. Are your hands cold? not at the moment 1029. Is your heart warm? yeah??? i think so ig 1030. Palm trees or snow storms? snow storms 1031. What bands would be great if only the singing was edited out? idk. 1032. What fantasy book would you like to see made into a movie? delirium 1033. Do you avoid risks and if possible stay at home? sometimes 1034. What SCI-fi books do you read? tons 1035. Would you be on that who wants to marry a millionaire show as a contestant? ehh maybe if i was single 1036. Who’s the best secret keeper you know? i don’t know if i even know anyone who can keep a secret tbh lol 1037. What is your favorite myth? idk m8 1038. Is it easier to live when you’re evil? oh yeah, i’m sure it is 1039. Have you ever belonged to a sorority or a fraternity? no 1040. Would you want to join one? absolutely not 1041. If your friend were doing dangerous drugs would you tell their parents? nah, it’s not really my business to tell them.  maybe if they were on the verge of killing themselves 1042. Would you rather be a unicorn, mermaid/man, or a sorceress/er? sorceress!! 1043. Are leather pants sexy? On you? i’ve never worn them but probably lol 1044. Did you tell someone you love him or her today? not yet 1045. Have you ever given blood? i’ve never donated blood but i’ve had blood drawn for medical purposes & hated it 1046. Have you ever been thrown out of someplace? nope 1047. What do you daydream about? life 1048. Are you a miracle? nope 1049. If America is one nation under god then are atheists citizens? yeah 1050. Should they be? i think so 1051. If you could pick any rock star to replace the Ozbournes in their reality show, whom would you pick? idk i don’t even watch that show soo 1052. What are your feelings about Mel Gibson’s movie The Passion of Christ? i personally thought it was terrible lol 1053. What did you think about the last episode of Sex in the City? never watched it 1054. What is your favorite movie with Adam Sandler in it? either happy gilmore or grown ups 1055. What is your biggest problem? procrastination 1056. Have you ever been arrested? no. 1057. Can musicians be held responsible for influencing people to behave badly? no 1058. Do you believe that there are subliminal messages embedded in some TV shows, movies & music? absolutely 1059. Is there anything that you believe should be banned for any reason? rape, abuse, and so many other things 1060. How often do you eat too much? allll the time 1061. Have you ever descended into pure madness? nahh 1062. Would you want to? who would??? 1063. Do green m&m’s make you feel sexy? i don’t even like m&ms 1064. If you died tomorrow, what mark would you have left on the world? not a very big one but hopefully the people who i have interacted with will think of me as a good person 1065. What movie would you NEVER want to see? there’s plenty. 1066. What annoys you the most about yourself? i procrastinate a lot 1067. How do you feel about capitalism? nothing. 1068. How do you feel about socialism? idk 1069. How do you feel about communism? - 1070. Has anyone ever tried to injure you? i don’t think so 1071. Has anyone ever tried to kill you? not to my knowledge 1072. How do you know when it’s time to break up with someone? when you are no longer happy when you’re with them 1073. What is your opinion of the Janet jackson/Justin Timberlake superbowl exposure incident? idk 1074. What’s the most annoying sound? when people eat with their mouth open 1075. Who was your childhood hero? my sister 1076. With nearly 100 channels why is NOTHING ever on? idk man, i usually find something to watch but i only watch tv when there is something specific playing that i want to watch 1077. Would you adopt a stray kitty wandering through your neighborhood? yeah, i’d take ti to the vet to make sure it’s healthy first and give it a bath and stuff 1078. Describe what you look like: well right now i’m wearing a hoodie and pajama pants, my hair is a mess bc i just woke up 1079. Describe what you ARE like: driven, funny, talkative, passionate, friendly, kind 1080. What bad habit do you have that affects other people as much as it affects you? anger??? idk 1081. How did you party new years eve 1999? i was 3 yrs old lol so i didn’t party very much i’m sure 1082. Does second hand smoke bother you? kind of 1083. Have you ever: Dumped a drink over someone’s head? nope Dumped a drink over your own head? yeah Bit someone? yep Torn at someone’s clothes? not that i know of Made out in the bathroom? i’m sure i have 1084. Which Lord of the Rings movie has the best ending? i don’t remember 1085. Do you have any interesting scars? i wouldn’t call them interesting 1086. Is it better for people to change and evolve their ideas or always be consistent? i think it is good to change and evolve 1087. Warped tour, Lollapalooza or Area concert? any, ig 1088. What are you missing in your life? motivation 1089. Do you ever know when someone is thinking about you? not unless they tell me that they are 1090. What could you make a sculpture out of that’s in the room with you right now? paper 1091. Do you believe in the lost city of Atlantis? i don’t really know 1092. Have you ever read The Little Prince? no, i want to tho 1093. This is Mr. fish <>< What’s the best picture you can make on your keyboard? <(^-^)< 1094. What did Mr. Octopus say to Mrs. Octopus? idk???? 1095. Let’s see if I’m psychic. Write a yes or no question here. am i wasting my time here? 1096. Write another yes or no question. will i do good in my new college? 1097. Think of just one more yes or no question. will i be successful in my future career? 1098. Type one question that can be answered with a color (example: what color is my car) what color i my underwear? 1099. Think of a number between one and one hundred & type it down. 88 1100. Write one more question, anything you want. what should i be doing right now?

[tommyh303]

2016 Year end review: 5 years running (and better late than never).

Celebrating 5 years of the end of the year!!!

WOW, this is my 5th annual end of the year because Facebook’s end of the year thingy sucks so much it’s just better if I write my own and choose my own photos blog (working title). Seriously though, this is the 5th one I’m writing after starting in 2012.  Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that Facebook attempts to make us feel connected to our memories; I mean FB really is just one giant diary/scrapbook anyhow. While their attempts do get a little better each year, the end of the year never really full encompasses and includes all the memories I want it to. Well, that lead to me writing these in which I can kind of sum up my year as I want, group together some photos and tales from the last 12 months. I’ll mention as I always do, these are more for me than anyone else, but I do enjoy sharing it with all of you, my dear readers. As always, you can find the prior year end reviews here: 2012, 2013, 2014, and 2015. I hope you guys enjoy. Oh and if you don’t make the photo cut down below, don’t take it personal, I simply can’t squeeze everything and everyone in, it’s not meant to be a slight I just may not have a photo of you and I (it happens).

Now I know a lot of people had a rough year for one reason or another and cursed the number 2016 and because of that I feel bad saying the following:

I myself actually had a pretty good year.

I mean I went to more weddings than funerals for the first time in a few years, I never got below the “buffer” in my bank account. I was creative in a few different ways, I made some great new friends, traveled, and at the risk of taunting the universe, I personally had no great drama or issue or anything overly negative arise this past year, which I humbly thank God and Karma and existence in general for that fact. I hope we can keep that trend in 2017. By no means is anywhere near my 2012 declaration of not caring what happens next. Believe me, I CARE what happens next (trust me folks, don’t taunt the universe on that one). That said; let me share with you some of the highlights of my 2016.

First off is work. I just love working where I do and with the people I work with. Things are good, I’m happy. I make enough to enjoy my life the way I want too, they give me more than ample time off, it’s really close to home (I don’t even have to get on a highway and I can come home for lunch), my job is just good. I’m very comfortable here. This fall will be my fourth year here and I’m planning on staying with this company for a long time. Don’t get me wrong, I’m saying everyone should love your job, that’s just not going to happen, but if you don’t dread the alarm clock every morning, it creeps over in a positive way to the rest of your life.  

 Creatively, I spread myself thin on several projects as I always seem to do, even toyed with the idea of doing my own youtube channel show but then realized this exactly why I seem to never get anything done. So the top priority was my movie, which I’d say I got more done on it this year than any other year which is a major plus. We’re so close, I promise it’ll all end up being worth the ridiculous wait once it’s done. I did write a little more in the blog early in the year and re-read my book. Yup, long ago I wrote a novel but have never really done anything with it. So late in the year, I started re-reading it. It’s at the top of my list of things to work on in 2017. It needs some editing and to be flushed out a bit here and there, but it’s something that has been on the back burner and needs some attention. Heck, Stan Lee was in his 40 when he started all the Marvel characters we know and love and dominate the box office today. So why not me? I have also returned to working on my photography a little bit more often, which lead to meeting some nice new people along the way, which is always a plus. 

Getting out seeing live music as much as I can is always important to me and this year was a pretty good year for it. I went to my fair share of concerts this year, both locally grown talent and more main stream. In the spring for my birthday I went and saw Nathaniel Ratcliff and the NightSweats with my gal pal Jenn M at the Paladium Ball room or Southside or whatever the hell its called now, over in Dallas. Such a great night, these guys put on a hell of a show. If you’re not familiar with their work, or even if you are but only the S.O.B. song, I recommend you give them a listen too. It was great to be in a crowd that was so into the show, everyone singing and dancing along with the songs, the age of the crowd was wonderful too, ranging from kids who couldn’t drink to people who could be my grandparent. The call for the band to come out for an encore was just fantastic, as the whole crowd chanting the course from SOB over and over for what seemed like forever before Mr. Ratcliff and his band gave in to our request (which I am sure they planned on doing regardless). They even brought out Fort Worth’s own Leon Bridges for the encore. That was a show and then some. I’d say it was the best show I saw this year, but I can’t because so many of them were so good! I caught Weezer and Panic at the Disco with my pals Britt and John in the summertime and well, it’s Weezer. Do I need say anything more? I was pleasantly surprised at how much I liked Panic at the Disco and equally surprised at how many younger people left after Panic choosing not to stay for Weezer. Stupid fools, if they only knew. A big highlight of the whole year was taking my mom and sister to see “country” artist and native from the land down under Keith Urban this fall. I was familiar with some of Mr. Nicole Kidman’s works, but this was really all for my mom. HE’s her favorite. Never the less, I had a great time. The open act was a young women name Moren McMorick, Arlington’s own who’s clearly heading for big things. Wish I’d caught her at the Grease Monkey or Levitt when I would have had the chance. The main man of the night, Keith Urban, puts on a hell of a show. I earlier used quotations to describe him as a country artist, but that’s just not accurate to me. This guy is a bona-fide rock star. His music, his stage presence, his interaction with his fan, it was a fantastic show that I can’t simply narrow down as one genre. This dude is as cross genre as cross genre comes. OR maybe I just don’t have any idea what country music is since my childhood or listen to Alabama and Barbra Mandrel in my mother’s car. Again, truly a star of his craft. It was awesome to get to do something for my mom and share a concert with her. Strictly from a enjoying the musician point of view, my personal favorite show of the year was probably getting to see Glen Hansard at the Majestic in September. I’ve waiting 3 years for this guy to come thru town and there’s never been a show I had higher expectations for than this one . Man oh man he did not disappoint. My good friend MacKenzie took a night off from her family to join me and we both walked away floored by the Irish folk singer. He did 3 encores! Three! He played favorites of mine I’ve heard since I was introduced to him 3 years ago, stuff I had never heard of and the must hears from the film ONCE. He was fantastic engaging the crowd, sharing tales thru that thick Irish accent before or after each song, the Majestic was such a great setting to mark seeing off my bucket list. That’s not even half the shows I enjoyed this year. I saw Deep Blue Something for the first time in 20 years at Arlington’s Levitt Pavillion. Luke Wade also visited us again during the Day of Giving concert here in Arlington. I saw local favorites of mine Auntie Rissa and the Colonel, the Criminal Birds, my buddy KGs bands Henry the Archer and the always sweet styling of Standard Gazette. I was also introduced to the gothy good styling of Jessie Frye this year and lastly,  I can’t even begin to explain how happy I was to see favorite One Red Martian pay us a visit down here in the Lone Star State. You guys were severely missed.  Live music was oh so good for me in 2016, without question, the best it’s been in years.

 I of course traveled. After my 2014 hiatus from traveling, I got back into it and 2015 and continued on in 2016. I really only took two legit vacations. The first being a week with my Godkids, which involved driving out to west Texas to get them and then bringing them back to Arlington for the week. They’re both practically teenagers now and I fear in the not so distant future I won’t be cool enough to hang out with them.  So trying to be cool Godfather that I like to think of myself as, we went to the National Video game museum up in Frisco. I highly recommend if you’re a video game nerd to check this out. It’s not really big, but it covers just about everything video game related ever made. Plus they had a Sega Dreamcast hooker up with Powerstone 2 in it which was a big plus for me.  Due to the kindness of some of my dear friends, we went swimming in pools not belonging to me. We took a train ride out to Dallas to visit the Perot museum and the Dallas Aquarium, both places I had never been so it was a treat for me too, went to downtown Fort Worth to see fireworks (as it was fourth of July week), went to the movies and one night just hung out and played board games and watched movies. Pretend parenting is so much fun. It’s the only time of the year that rivaled the Vegas trip. I do love those silly kiddos and I had such a great time with them, I hated having to let them go back home. I should also point out I acquired a third Godkid this year, but since she’s brand new I didn’t bring her along for the week, but she’s adorable! Photos are of course below.

I did leave the state too, FINALLY making it out to Vegas with my pals Keith, Scott, Woo and Kevin. Las Vegas did not disappoint in the least bit! I’d tell you more about it, but the whole “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas…” just kidding. I didn’t get to see everything I wanted to and got sick one night, but still had a wonderful time! The plane ride over was memorable, though that story needs to stay quiet, but I will say the film “Me Earl and the Dying Girl” lies to you. Just know that it lies to you. We stayed at the New York, New York on the strip and personally love the place and our room. We went to multiple casinos and ate lots of breakfast buffets. Went to the shark reef at Mandalay Bay, which for me was a bucket list stop. I learned how to play baccarat at the Venetian and made some money (and that it’s perfectly acceptable to drink and gable at 9am on a Saturday) and then lost said money at black jack in the Luxor. We took a limo ride out to see the Hoover dam and asked to see Megatron (yes we were those guys). The food was fantastic, had a fantastic steak with shrimp and grits, a great deli in our hotel, and some fish and chips with Irish carbombs at an Irish restaurant. We instituted a roulette tradition, played in a small poker tourney, meet a wonderful group of UNLV grads, and had a drink in a bar that was -5 degrees. I absolutely loved Las Vegas and can’t wait to go again.

There were some sad moments too, but the it seemed like an unusually high number of unexpected celebrity passings. I can’t touch them all, but let me say the world seemed less magical once David Bowie left us and a little less funny now that Gene Wilder is gone. I was literally stunned and in disbelief when I learned Prince no longer walked among us. I openly wept before bed the day the great Carrie Fisher became one with the Force (no disrespect meant with that comment). Her passing was literally part of my childhood dying.

I can’t leave this blog on a down note though, so in case you didn’t notice, the Rangers has a pretty good season (happy note), and the Cowboys bounced back from the 4-12 disaster of last season. I can’t wait to see how deep this playoff run goes (happy note). Then a more personal high point, I met freaking Karen Gilliam! Amy Pond! A legit Dr. Who companion! That’s the first time I’ve gone to a convention like that and paid for a celebrity photo, but man it was so worth it (BIG happy note).

All in all, 2016 was a good year for me. I enjoyed and cherished all the people who were a part of it. I hope we all see a happy and healthy 2017. Here’s to another 5 years of end of the year blogs and God bless each and everyone one of you.

Much Love,

Big T