#oh im sorry i just looked it up and that song came out in 2010. my deepest apologies but you know what? i stand by my tags

[blinkycravesviolence]

cringetober day 16!! i know i just posted mesmerizer lost media yesterday but i've been planning this for a good bit lol

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☢️ radithorisms Follow

so 2024's the year of lostwave right? so many songs have been found this year alone n shit. and with stacy being found i feel like i should be open about something.

okay so like. there's this one song i listened to in 2010 that i feel like was intensely formative to my teenage years. and i can't find it. TRUST ME i tried but it's just not there. it's like it never existed. and it sucks cause despite the contents of the song, it comforted me through the darkest moments of my life. and jt always found me. so why can't i find it.

oh right i need to give you guys info on the song, right?

so i don't really remember much about the lyrics, mainly cause it (the song's named mesmerizer btw) wasn't translated when i saw it BUT i remember the music video.

so the music video is about miku and teto (did i mention they sang the song??? im sorry this is so disorganized lol) in this like. kids show environment?? they're dancing n shit in Mysterious Plains it's weird. anyways the ENTIRE TIME teto's been making signs for help, from ASL to morse code. yeah that's meant to imply they are kidnapped. so there's this segment where they get like. hypnotized??? miku's eyes fade to black and teto's ALMOST do but then they cut away. then everything SEEMS normal but miku's limbs start being funny and it's probably a sign of the hypnosis or something and teto's freaking out a bit and then... i.... i forgot the final fucking chorus it's so over.

oh and they wore these costumes - i drew em from memory

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 yurisoldierno39 Follow

miranda my beloved mutual miranda. where the fuck is neru

☢️ radithorisms Follow

you say that as a bit but people did joke about neru being in the song. it got unfunny fast though

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 yurisoldierno39 Follow

oh damn. i don't think i know what ur talking abt though. sad!

🔔 the-bellssss Follow

hey wait wasn't mesmerizer that one song that made a guy careen off a cliff cause he listened to it and it fogged his brain up so bad he didn't pay attention to the road?

☢️ radithorisms Follow

what

#no that cant be it helped me it helped me it helped me it

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☢️ radithorisms Follow

update on the mesmerizer situation

so i've been heeding some of your advice, i've been looking on niconico and i found a clip!!! lets gooo

i feel like it's finally coming around now. it's coming back to me. it's warm embrace hugging me. it's gonna be alright. i think.

#mesmerizer #lostwave #lost media #i cant help but feel like it's egging me on tho

2 Notes

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 yurisoldierno39 Follow

man i love miranda n all but she's been talking about nothing but that mesmerizer song ever since she found that clip.

#it's so hard to talk to her man #like i get it the song is important to you but #i feel like you care more about it than me :/

0 Notes

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 yurisoldierno39 Follow

☢️ radithorisms asked:

i saw your post, tammy. it's sad you think of it like that. you'll see the light soon though, my love.

im sure of it

YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN??

#wait. #''love''? 😳

4 Notes

🔔 the-bellssss Follow

the fuck is going on with my mutuals man

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 yurisoldierno39 Follow

miranda sent me a cryptic ask where she called me love

🔔 the-bellssss Follow

good 4 u??? love wins i guess

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 yurisoldierno39 Follow

love wins

🔔 the-bellssss Follow

love wins

☢️ radithorisms Follow

love wins

100 Notes

☢️ radithorisms Follow

i found it i found it ifounditifound it i found it idounfitifounditiFOUNDITIFUONDITIFOHNDITOUFODUNITJFOUNDITIFOUNITIFOUNDITIFKJNFIFOUNFITIFKUNGIT

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 yurisoldierno39 Follow

are you ok?? answer my text

🔔 the-bellssss Follow

tammy and miranda have both been awfully silent...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 yurisoldierno39 Follow

hey nell!! i just came back from talking to miranda. positive she's just doing a bit.

🔔 the-bellssss Follow

oh shit hey tammy

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 yurisoldierno39 Follow

can you watch this for me? thx

🔔 the-bellssss Follow

okay...?

202 Notes

☢️ radithorisms Follow

i remember the final chorus now.

mid-lyric, something snaps within miku. her eyes go into a pitch black, her mouth eternally agape, a tongue sticking out, and she's stuck doing the same jerky movements. she's mesmerized, whatever was left in her gone forever. teto's horrified, grieving even, miku might as well be dead after all. but i never cared about what was happening on the sides of the screen. i was transfixed by what was on the center. the infamous 13-sided star literally EVERYWHERE in the music video unveiled itself to be a spiral. and i couldn't keep my eyes off it. the overstimulation of the song all melting together, telling me to let go, give in, fall into the rhythm, the beat, the instruments, the vocals.... i guess all those replays must have conditioned me.

it's all ok now though.

everything will be.

i just need to let her see.

i found the video after all. what's love for if you keep them away from the light? i'll see you soon, tammy. <3

[july-19th-club]

2008 prom i love it . extremely funny that they did not hire younger actors to play them in any but one of the flashbacks so it’s just a bunch of 28-year-olds doing Hello Fellow Teens for budgetary reasons. love this energy

[ibroughtyoumybullets]

you got into mcr as an ADULT?

ok wait i think this is from the other night when i let the one direction beast out of her cage but i love telling this story so im answering it late. sorry i don’t look at my inbox enough.

yes!! kind of. <- short answer.

long answer: so i was starting to get into rock music when i was about … 12? my first Band That Was Mine was paramore but after the farro brothers left the band in 2010 i was in search of something else to love. i got into atl (eugh) and the Maine (the loves of my life listen to the maine NOW) and fall out boy (don’t listen to them that much anymore but they were important to my musical development) and that old Ryan Ross and Dallon Weekes project that fell off (weird that they never released anything after v&v? anyhow) and several other bands that were accessible to my little 12 year old brain.

and then one day when i was listening to camisado on YouTube i was looking for other songs that made me Feel The Same and this song by this band called my chemical romance called Mama popped up in the yt recommended sidebar. so I listened to it and was like “wait why is this music scary. this song makes me scared. am i even allowed to listen to this it has the word mama and hell in it am I gonna get in trouble” and got nervous and stopped listening. but i would go back to it every so often and it led me to teenagers which I would listen to when I wanted to feel cool and wttbp which was wholly inaccessible to my 12 year old brain but i still thought was cool anyhow.

and then, later, maybe a couple months later? i was on YouTube watching the what makes you beautiful music video over and over again and this song called NaNaNa came up in recommended. and the music video BLEW MY LITTLE BRAIN AWAY. IT WAS UNLIKE ANYTHING I HAD EVER SEEN BEFORE. the colors and cars and the outfits and the GUITARS and the guns and the lyrics … fucking altered the fabric of my life. so I watched the sing music video and it did the same to me and i was motherfucking INTRUIGED. so I did some googling and saw they had started to release new music. i didn’t really understand the a/b side singles format but I thought maybe this was just a different way bands released albums. so I waited patiently for each single drop - and it wasn’t quite like their other music but it still really interested me.

this, notably, was around the time i started attending concerts. the first real concert I attended was an Ed sheeran show at the house of blues when he was touring his first album and was mostly only known by one direction fans in the US. and I was like … oh this is the coolest thing in the world and I wanna do it all the time. I had tickets to a concert for the Maine in June of that year, 3 days after the time I would see one direction live. So my 13 year old brain was like YES since I am now grown (lol) and a concert goer I will wait until mcr announces a tour for their new music and go and it’ll be great.

and then they broke up. lol.

and i was like. SAD. well there are other bands. and just kind of moved on. there were boy bands to blog about. it wasn’t a huge loss to me. they hadn’t Gotten me yet.

but during the time they were broken up, particularly as I got older, I could never quite listen to them. i would try to occasionally but it just made me sad because I knew I could really love this band and they weren’t around for me to love them and I didn’t feel like setting myself up to love a band I would never see.

but in spring of 2019 I was a sophomore in college, deeply, deeply depressed, and holed up in my room 22 stories up going crazy with insomnia. and my mom texted me and was like “hey me and dad have started watching this show, the umbrella academy. its based off a comic book that was written by Gerard way? Who was in a band? I think you would like it” so I started milking tua dry for hyperfixation serotonin and was watching cast interviews, etc, and then I watched one with Gerard in it. and I was like. oh. it’s you it’s the band guy. maybe I’ll listen to some of your music as a treat.

so I started listening to danger days a lot. i think I needed the color in my life. and i really enjoyed it, especially since I was older and had a better understanding of myself and music. but it still made me sad, you know? i really liked this band but they clearly weren’t ever going to exist again - I mean Gerard clearly had his own stuff going on, and this was before Twitter introduced Topics so I would get Frank’s tweets about his touring in my recommended Twitter feed. the band was dead. so I’d listen to danger days and absorb whatever hope I could from it and walk away better but still sad.

this continued throughout the summer and into the fall.

this is the funniest part of this story: mid October 2019 I was in a parking lot with my friends smoking weed and listening to music. somebody gave me the aux and I put on DD and we had a discussion about our younger and more emo days and i said “I hope you guys know if they ever got back together I would drag you to see them” and they were all like yeah that’s fair.

and then, on Halloween 2019, I was on a train on my way out to visit a friend in college so we could party (I had dropped out LOL) and I was sitting on the train waiting for it to leave the station. i had a whole playlist ready and was getting into the drunk and slutty mood. I opened Twitter one last time before I turned my signal off so I could conserve battery and somebody had tweeted that mcr had gotten back together and I was like. ok not funny. but then I saw another tweet about it. and another. so I cautiously opened the MCR Twitter page and saw it was real. i could not fucking believe it. so i through my playlist out of the window and listened to black parade front to back for the first time in my life, cried a little, had everything change for me.

and then there were days and days where I would listen to all of their albums and tried my best to eat their music alive. I started stalking the MCR tag on tumblr, started following a couple people from mcrblr on my old blog, and began letting myself Love them.

and then there was the shrine and an offering and a summoning and the insanity of accepting I would be able to see them live with my own little eyes. the day tickets dropped I literally left work on my half hour break, went home, fought Ticketmaster, and got tickets for me and my friends. I’d never been so excited.

and there was a plague and several years and in the interim they have become My Band. I’m never going to love another band like this and I don’t want to. im so happy to be here and I’m so happy it happened now, when I’m older and have a better handle on myself and have the ability to chase them around.

so yeah. this was long but so was my journey to them. if I’m weird about my chemical romance it’s just because I had to wait a decade for them and it feels very much like fate to me.

[kvndeathmusic]

my favorite records of the 2010s pt 1 (the less great stuff/honorable mentions)

Neither this post or its followup are going to be in any particular order, however all the records I talk about here are, in my opinion, not as good as the records i will talk about in my part 2. they’re all fantastic but these ones slightly a little less fantastic than the ones in my “top 10″. none of this is based on stuff like 'influence' or whatever other critics base their lists on, this is solely how much I enjoyed these records. And keep in mind, I'm only human, I havent listened to a good lot of records I've heard others describe as top 10 worthy, these are just records I found and that I resonate with. long post ahead. 

Vacation - Bomb the Music Industry (2011)

If you asked me what my favorite band is i will either say bomb the music industry or jeff rosenstock, but considering those are pretty much the same things it doesnt matter lol. While Vacation isnt a perfect record, it is one I love. It lacks some of the ska elements that I love about earlier BTMI records, but at the same time, it is the first record where Jeff’s “””solo””” career sound starts to form in tracks like Sick, Later, Hurricane Waves, Everybody That You Love, Everybody That Loves You, and Vocal Coach. And these tracks are all fantastic, especially the absolutely explosive opener Campaign For a Better Weekend. Where this album suffers in my mind is the fact that it exists as a weird hybrid middle ground between BTMI and modern Jeff Rosenstock, it isn’t really ska like old BTMI and it’s not quite to the same standard as the tracks on We Cool?. And some of the songs are just, not as good as the others, like Why, Oh Why, Oh Why (Oh Oh Oh Oh), which is washed out almost entirely in reverb, and tracks like Savers feeling barren and missing additional instrumentation. But fuck man I can not dislike this record or just call it “ok” because despite this I still listen to this record a lot, it’s so catchy and fun and Im a bit too chronically addicted to btmi. 

Reflektor - Arcade Fire (2013)

i dont really get the hate/mixed feelings others have with this record. there’s so many good tracks dude!!!! sure theres a bit of a slump in the middle and it doesnt reach the same emotional heights as their previous records you gotta be ignorant to overlook this records strengths. while i do like The Suburbs more than Reflektor, man i just vibe HARD with some of these tracks; the title track, We Exist, Here Comes The Night Time, Normal Person, Awful Sound (Oh Eurydice), Porno, and ESPECIALLY Afterlife. Plus the cover art is cool and I like it. However Flashbulb Eyes is one of the worst tracks Arcade Fire has ever put out and I hate it immensely. And while far less offensive, tracks like You Already Know, It’s Never Over (Hey Orpheus), and Joan of Arc are just kinda boring and/or uninteresting. Now granted, I'm extremely biased when it comes to Arcade fire in general unless were talking about the trainwreck that is Everything Now. I started listening to Arcade Fire just before Reflektor came out, and I have a kinda sentimental attachment to the record. ill explain the feeling more when i talk about The Suburbs. anticipation oooooo.

good kid m.A.A.d city - Kendrick Lamar (2012)

i might get crucified by some for not putting this in my top 10, but whatever come at me i guess. gkmc is a fantastic record, but i do think the ending is weak, which is why it’s here instead of in the top 10. i mean, let’s be real, Real is a mediocre track, and while Dying of Thirst is an important track to the whole narrative of the record, it feels way too long. almost everything else about this record is fantastic, from the beats, to kendrick’s nasally flows, to the overall structure of the record spinning a tale of a young man battling demons both inside and out, and his eventual redemption. even if i find this record at times to drop pace, it really is flawless otherwise. it felt like a disservice to put this in the 20-10s, bc it’s a good record, but i had to make some compromises and this was one of them. 

RTJ2 - Run The Jewels (2014)

el-p and killer mike are a perfect duo, and the tracks they make together are always total bangers. and for me, RTJ2 is the best overall, with RTJ3 in a close second. it’s hard to put this on the lower half of the list, some of the tracks just don’t work as well as the others, but despite that there’s not really any tracks i hate or dislike on this record, minus maybe crown. the pure aggression in the opening track Jeopardy sets the tone for an aggressive yet highly focused record. This is some of the best rap out there right now if you want some music to fuck shit up to. 

Pure Comedy - Father John Misty (2017)

This record is both hilarious and extremely bleak. Josh Tillman is a master of satire and sarcasm, and Pure Comedy is the peak of his songwriting skills. The title track is one of the best tracks of the decade, period. And he keeps up the momentum on the following few tracks. The main problem with this record is its weaker second half, but even then it’s criminal to suggest that those songs aren’t good regardless. And despite the bleakness, the one line that sticks in my head after all this time is the line this album fades out to: There’s nothing to fear.

Knife Man - AJJ (2011)

Continuing on the trend of folky, satirical, and bleak records, Knife Man is AJJ’s defining record (next to their debut LP). AJJ blends loud, punky anthems with quieter, folk tracks that touch on sensitive issues in a way only AJJ manages to get away with. And there’s some genuine heart mixed in as well, with the final track Big Bird always striking a chord with me. However, I do feel the record is, let’s just say, padded at times in my opinion. Still, I can’t deny how much i enjoy tracks like Gift of the Magi 2, Hate Rain on Me, The Distance, and Skate Park. Speaking of which when I saw AJJ live recently they played none of those songs and that kinda sucked but hey it was like $20 I can’t complain. And speaking of not getting what I wanted...

You Won’t Get What You Want - Daughters (2018)

It was hard choosing between this record and their 2010 self titled record, but in terms of the overall narrative and variety this record shines through. If there was a number 11 spot in this unorganized list this would probably take that spot. It’s noisey, it’s abrasive, and it’s like nothing you’ve heard before unless you’ve listened to Daughter’s previous records. Tracks like The Reason They Hate Me are catchy in the weirdest and most unwelcoming of ways, Less Sex sounds like a long lost Trent Reznor NIN track, and Guest House is a masochistic and gut wrenching finisher. Fantastic record aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

We Cool? - Jeff Rosenstock (2015)

It’s obvious that I had to include this record somewhere on these list. It’s like a more refined version of the sounds that Jeff experimented with on Vacation. Definitely more punk than ska, but still some of those roots still shine through, especially in the track Nausea. Some of Jeff’s best songs are on this record, from the loud opening tracks Get Old Forever and You, In Weird Cities, to tracks dripping with bittersweet and moody lyrics like I’m Serious, I’m Sorry and Polar Bear or Africa. The main reason this record is on the back end of the top 20 is because the deeper cuts on the record do not match the energy and heights of the best tracks. Tracks like All Blissed Out, The Lows, Darkness Records and Beers Again Alone don’t feel like they belong and stick out a bit. They remind me more of the material Jeff put out on his 2012 EP I Look Like Shit. Mind you they aren’t bad tracks, but I’ll be honest I skip them often when listening to the record because i just wanna get back to the good good stuff. 

Sports - Modern Baseball (2012)

Sports is one of the best pop punk records ever, if you can even consider it as such. It’s like a blend of emo and folk punk, and it works so well. A good majority of this record is on my main shuffle playlist. Is it pushing boundaries? Not really, but tracks like Re-Do, Tears Over Beers, and See Ya, Sucker are undeniably catchy and memorable. I NEED MODERN BASEBALL BACK TOGETHER RN. There’s not really anything that wrong with the record, besides maybe lacking in variety, but at 30 minutes, it’s a record that feels nostalgic even on a first listen, and continues to feel that way even after numerous re-listens. Speaking of nostalgia...

The Suburbs - Arcade Fire (2010)

Some background, when I was 13 (circa 2013), I only really listened to whatever my parents put on for me. From my mom, I “inherited” a taste for classic pop and 80s new wave. From my dad, I got metal and hard rock. The first time I made the conscious decision to listen to a record fully, based on my own curiousity, was when I sat and listened to Sgt. Pepper in the summer of 2013, which broadened the scope of what I thought music could even be. And later that year, the first band I got into after The Beatles? Arcade Fire. When I think of my early teens, the memories are set to this record. I remember listening to Ready to Start in my brother’s old hot ass car while driving to the local fair with some friends on a chill fall night, eating tons of junk and staying up past midnight back when doing that was edgy and cool and not a symptom of my depression. 

If I was judging this record solely by its best tracks, it would easily be in the top 3. But I couldn’t place it in my top 10 because, frankly, some of the deeper cuts are lacking. I can’t say I like Deep Blue. I really don’t like Rococo. And Half Light I kills the pace of the record. But man, that title track, Ready to Start, Modern Man, Empty Room, Half Light II, Sprawl II... these songs defined my early teen years. I still tear up listening to the title track. Sure I have to skip a few songs when I re-listen, but I can’t place it any lower or my heart will break. It existing outside of the top 10 already hurts. And that’s all that’s left now. The top 10. 

But first, some random honorable mentions that didn’t make this list:

Sound & Color - Alabama Shakes

Black Star - David Bowie

Saturation II - BROCKHAMPTON

Melophobia - Cage the Elephant

Teens of Style - Car Seat Headrest

How to Leave Town - Car Seat Headrest

Daughters - Daughters

Sunbather - Deafheaven

Bottomless Pit - Death Grips

Year of the Snitch - Death Grips (should be on this list tbh)

Doris - Earl Sweatshirt

I Love You, Honeybear - Father John Misty

Helplessness Blues - Fleet Foxes

Plastic Beach - Gorillaz

Boarding House Reach - Jack White

POST- - Jeff Rosenstock

S/T - Joyce Manor

Firepower - Judas Priest

ye - Kanye West

KIDS SEE GHOSTS - KSG

You Were There - Kill Lincoln

Flying Microtonal Banana - King Gizzard

Infest The Rats’ Nest - King Gizzard

No New World - Mass of the Fermenting Dregs

Bury Me At Makeout Creek - Mitski

Puberty 2 - Mitski

Unsilent Death - Nails

Itekoma Hits - Otoboke Beaver

Morbid Stuff - PUP

A Moon Shaped Pool - Radiohead

RTJ3 - Run the Jewels

Angles - The Strokes

To Be Kind - Swans

Undertale OST - Toby Fox

Scum Fuck Flower Boy - Tyler, The Creator 

Igor - Tyler, The Creator

Weezer (White Album) - Weezer

nightlife - yuragi

[parkerspicedlatte]

Spending a week at the tower with Peter would include...    Part 2

Part 2/2

by day three you both were starting to get bored of movies

peter had webbed the coffee maker to the ceiling after a "caffeine induced incident"

"I swear Peter if you don't give me back that machine i'll..."

"You'll what?"

"ll im saying is that you don't want to see me sleep AND caffeine deprived. You've been warned Parker"

"pranking" delivery people

what that actually means is calling two different restaurants, ordering the same foods and getting them delivered at the same time

the pizza guys actually thought it was funny

however the three different Chinese delivery guys were un-amused

snooping through the old storage units...

"Are you wearing one of Nat's wigs?"

getting Jarvis to play anything and everything you could think of

Despacito, Black Betty, No Good (Kaleo), Havana, Rebel Love Song...

DANCE OFF

"Your robot is pretty impressive but it's no match for my floss"

he can actually do the floss?!?!

which makes sense cuz this kid is pretty coordinated

"Oh my goodness look at this!"

"Is that a wii?"

"The original"

hours and hours of just dance but from like 2010

"Hey we still have to watch the Maze Runner series"

"How could I forget"

"DAY ONE GREENIE!"

"Holy eyebrows! Those things are going to fly off his head"

on day five you finally got a message from your uncle

"What's Mr. Stark say?"

"Nothing it's just a selfie with the team, typical"

"How'd he take that with the suit still on?"

"Beats me. Im a geek not a nerd remember"

Day six-

"What're you thinking of?"

"Nothing"

"No you're thinking of something, you've git that look"

"K fine I was thinking that there is a bouncy house in here somewhere from like when I was eleven and I was wondering if it would be worth trying to find so tha-"

"YASSS"

it took six hours to find the stupid thing, two hours to blow up but four hours for the both of you to pass out from exhaustion

dancing in the house

karaoke

air guitar ft. drums

idk how many rounds of Ziggy Stardust and Rebel Yell happened

this continued until day seven when the team came back

they walked in the tower in the midst of a pretty intense air guitar battle to Bohemian Rhapsody

they didn't say anything, just stared at the two of you in... "awe?"

between the pillow fort that enveloped the ENTIRE living room, the bouncy house, the coffee machine on the ceiling, Brendon Urie (not Queen sorry babes) screaming through the speakers...

well lets just say there was almost too much to take in with their (mostly) mortal eyes

you didn't even realise anyone was home until you hit the final notes on your air keyboard

Sam, Barton and Banner started to applaud

you both turn around very red faces from embarrassment and "band practice"

"Oh hi um Mr. Stark how um how was your mission?"

"We successfully kicked some enemy butt and blew stuff up so nothing out of the ordinary, and as much as I would like to ask how you guys spent your week and quite frankly *cough* my money *cough* im looking at my living room and deciding that the only thing you'll get from me is a very confused look so that will be for another time"

he does one more twirl around the living room before acknowledging your presence

"Is that your bouncy house from when you were 7?" "11 actually but yeah nice to see you too Uncle Toni"

oh man he was in a funk

"Oh come of Toni give em a break it seams like it's all innocent fun. You guys didn't order strippers or anything, right? There. Innocent."

that came from Barton

he didn't surface for a while after that and likely wouldn't have for quite sometime had Peter not found him

he was found under a pile of pillows two days later when you guys had to clean up the pillow fort

"So all my sweaters suddenly disappeared and im guessing one of you would be responsible for that am I right?"

"Peter did it!"

"I did not!"

"WHY IS MY COFFEE MAKER ON THE CEILING?!?!?!?!"

"Peter did it!"

 Alright let me know what you think. I also will be taking request! :) it's like 1 am right now so Ive probably over looked a million spelling mistakes and such so just ignore that. Thanks for reading xoxo

[itsmozzazzella]

in 2006 it was this kid that i literally did not even know the name of. it was the first day of school and already he came up to me asking to be his girlfriend. i said no, because who the fuck are you again? but i was only like 11 so i had no idea how to be more firm than that. he continued to keep trying to ask me out, buying me gifts, and sending “i miss u” texts until 2010.

in 2010 it was this kid at church who my mom pressured me into going to his junior prom with, because “he’s such a nice boy.” we had literally zero common interests and my mom wanted me to date him for “the experience.” i went to his prom and had a miserable time. at one point he puts his hand on my thigh and i swat it away. 

i meet a guy at the prom in 2011 who likes anime, and I think, oh hey! an anime fan, that’s cool! we exchange phone numbers, thinking i’d just made a friend. the very next day, he calls me telling me of all the fun things we’re going to do together. he calls me his best friend less than 24 hours of knowing him. immediately i’m uncomfortable. he calls me every single day after school. I eventually tell him, “I really don’t like you calling me every day. please stop calling me.” he responds, “you’re just being shy. you don’t actually mean that.” so he continues. it gives me such anxiety that i develop stomach problems at school. I just stop picking up and responding altogether until he finally stops, with a final “do u hate me? pls dont hate me.” he did this for at least a month.

in 2012 it’s thankfully a sweet guy this time that understands my boundaries. but i’m pressured by everyone around me to date him, just because he’s finally someone that’s actually good back to me. in dec 2013 at the park, i tell him i’ll try to be his girlfriend. he’s elated - but literally minutes later, i’ve regretted my decision. i have so much anxiety that i leave early, by myself. i retract what i said, which hurts him and it sucks, and disappoints my mom.

in 2013 I get super into jojo’s bizarre adventure. a guy on tumblr messages me asking for my skype name. im excited cause I like talking about jojo stuff with new people!! we start chatting, it starts out innocent enough with stuff like, “name your favorite songs, GO!” we go back and forth asking each other random questions like that. eventually he asks, “ok.... now, can I ask you a NSFW question?” i’m 18 and starting discover myself, and i’d never talked about NSFW stuff with anyone, so I reluctantly agree to answer. he asks it and follows it up with “i’m so gross... i’m so sorry... i’m the worst...” I have to keep reassuring him he’s not gross, because exactly the response he’s looking for out of me. soon enough he asks for a selfie of me. I send it. he tells me he’s starting to get turned on. he again apologizes, “I bet you think i’m disgusting.... i’m so sorry....” he beyond crossed my boundaries. I felt so violated. I excused him, because I didn’t know what to do. i’d never felt so dirty and used. I blocked him.

in 2015 it’s this guy i meet at a friend’s house for a DND campaign. we go to the grocery store together cause we have to buy food for the party and we discover a mutual interest in anime. he starts talking about shows with lolicon and hentai and the pleasant conversation turns sour for me. i [reluctantly] give him my phone number when he asks for it. back at the house, he starts texting me while we’re in the same room. “what are u doing after this?” he asks, and i try to brush it off with “just going back to my dorm to sleep, hahaha.” “do u want to watch a movie at ur dorm?” “no i’m good, i’m really tired.” a few minutes later he asks, “are you okay with cuddling? we could cuddle and watch anime. :3” as soon as i’m able, i leave the house. i stop responding to his messages.

just very exhausted ok! very exhausted.

[daddybugattibieber]

thread of justin bieber songs

Down to earth

-a bop

-showed emotional depth

-I dead ass cried when he cried in never say never 

-daddy issues

-that annoying mafia in the beginning

-woke king!

One less lonely girl

-showed these crusty boys how to take care of girl

-king of representation, used a black girl as the main girl

-went on to be a future racist song so definite mix feelings thought I should add it thought

-the bridge of this song was like no other

One time

-catchy and cute, made me have butterflies idk

-ryan has always been the only unproblematic white around him, ryan was a great influence

-the bridge was also amazing on this song

Baby

-i sung this in shower and I still know the rap

-i thought ludacris was so cool lol

-my bby drake

-jasmine villegas should have been his gf

Stuck in the moment

-my fuckin jam boi

-quality content 

-the literary comparisons really made me feel that song

-hella salty he never performed this anywhere

U smile

-this was hyped but the verses were iconic 

-definite temptations / mo-town vibes

-modern day my girl

-when he brought boyz 2 men on stage!!!!

Overboard

-best version is with jessica jarrel, the og version

-duets were never heard of in 2010 and he brought it back

-amazing and sensational

-sung this in the car when it rained

-wanted a music video so damn bad

Never let you go

-the video of the Paige, Za and Lil Twist lmfao

-justin bieber was woke for putting a black girl in his music video

-I used to think he was so hot when the wind was blowing on him when he was dancing on the rock

-he came thru and delivered us

Eenie meanie

-I’m a white boy from Canada

-never liked confederate beadles, like ever, that was for the white fans

-Sean Kingston was so popular during this time period

-I thought I was so cool cos I said hoe instead of bad chick

-reggae king! diversity

That should be me

-this never should have been country

-jackson five all the way

-song amazing start to finish

Never say never

-iconic

-history made

-jaden’s rap was too fire for a 12 a year old

-grammys performance was amazing and live

-song is muthafuckin bop

-king of positivity 

 Born to be somebody

-played at the credits of never say never

-literally a prophecy

Next to you

-is basically justin’s song

-was pissed he kissed that girl

-i wanted to have his children because of his verse

Christmas eve

-I don’t care what y’all say but this should have been the single

-this was the first time I wanted to fuck and succ him dry

-vocals, vibrator, falsetto, yes, he was talking about sex

-freak and kinky, definite roleplay

As long as you love me

-really came through for a bitch

-trademark slurring of words

-la la la la la la la la la

Boyfriend

-literally get wet at the falsetto

-the bridge makes the song and its a sample if you didn’t know

-the last chorus was so good

-na na na na na na na na na yeah man

-king of falsetto!

Die in your arms

-that should be me 2.0 

-jackson five vibe 

-solid proof he is really that bitch

Fall/ Thought of you

-good feel good songs

-justin was so far up [redacted]’s ass in love

-highkey bitter

-no offense but basically the same song

-catching feelings completes the trilogy

Beauty and the beat

-i hate this song [redacted] is mentioned in this song

-when nicki minaj grinded on justin !!!! body rock

-remember at the bet awards they had that skit “can you handle curves justin” “yes ....... i.......... can”

-wild 

Nothing like us

-love the song 

-rnbieber birthed

-but just break up already fool

I would

-song was basically rnb, needed a better bass 

-bridge should have been longer and it should have been like six i knows rather than just two

-so much potential

Love me like you do

-he spoke french when he ma cherie

-i wanted to fuck so bad

-i thought his dick was so big 

-i would have had sex to this song

Maria

-billie jean 

-a bop 

-lmao i really do think he fucked mariah yeater 

-and that one kid that looks like him at the ice cream shop explain that

-king of shade!

Heartbreaker

-the whole goddamn song a masterpiece

-bizzle era was born

-lived for this era

All that matters

-say my name/ aaliyah vibes

-great song

Hold tight

-justin might have a small pepe but he a freak

Recovery 

-a bop

-my baby didnt have to apologize to anyone 

-lyrics, song 10/10

PYD

-the beat never dropped

-but after this i wanted justin to nut in my pussy so i could drag it across the floor like a snail

Roller coaster

-this song was a smash

-michael jackson all the way

Change me

-THIS SONG WAS EVERYTHING

-adele who? exactly

-ballad bizzle wins everytime 

-he is literally an icon, no one was bringing back rnb like this

-bizzle delievered

Confident

-chanceeeeeeelor

-the dance was sexy

-the let me taki to you makes me cringe but i want to hump his leg more

-the pussy stache

-hoe justin!

Alone

-10x better than bad day and all bad

Flatline 

-sensational

-a bop

-this literally is the best way to go out the album because you fucking die afterwards

foreign remix

-iconic but he basically said he loved black girls

Playtime 

-makes me feel warm

-sexy bizzle

-creative bizzle for editing the music video

-khalil and za were the best friends ever

Lolly

-created netflix and chill

-i would suck dick any time

Time for bed

-STILL WAITING FOR THE COMPLETE SONG 

-makes my pussy tingle 

-justin proved he has a great stroke game

The intro

-sexy

-i thought he says black girls

-mulit-faceted

OTIS FREESTYLE

-proved everyone he was a rapper

-better than lil twist

-talented revolutionary

Hey girl/ Oh girl

-basically the same song but so good

I’ll be there

-nioce

Future

-love this shit, this bops

Maria im drunk

-love his verse

Bankroll

-u bitter while im counting money

-i love his voice

Why you mad

-his verse is so good

Deja vu

-wish he would get innapropriate in his songs

-im ready to get my panties soaked

I’m the one

-the switch up at the end where he says gyal

-wish he rapped on this

Mark my words

-bizzle rnbieber ballad

Company

-boppy rnb

-he so alone 

No sense/ No pressure

-love when he collabs with black people

-i wish justin had black in him

WAUN

-only piano version is stannable

Life is worth living again

-as much shit I give Justin, i really do love him and this right here made me cry and i never thought i be on that fuck shit but justin is literally someone who inspires me and i look up to him alot, he has affected me in ways he will never know so this song really took me there, cos i dont know what I would do with out his bitch ass.

Sorry

-wish there is a reggae version 

-black girls should have been dancing in the music video

We are/ Trust

-great rnb songs

-underrated 

Home to mama

-wish there was more to the song

-same as love yourself

-the mj inspired hiccup is the only thing good about the song

-cody simpon is a hell no

Juke Jam

- he really hate himself for only singing the chorus 

-like i really wish he would actually immerse his ass in a song

all his recent stuff

-bizzle would never do us like that and give us friends, cold water, or let me love you, he really wouldn’t so there’s that

[shenanigenfilms]

Crawling in My Skin – The voice of a Generation

I was already having a pretty emotional day on the 20th of July 2017, which I wont get to much into because it all worked out in the end. I finally sit down on my commuter train from London to Brighton, rubbing my temples from my day, trying to ease a tension headache when my best mate of like 13 years writes me and says

“So is it true Chester from Linkin Park hung himself?” I just sat there for a moment staring at her message, the Sun peaking behind broken clouds causing a reflection on my screen to flash in my eyes. Finally I snap out of it and check the Internet and it’s all over the place, TMZ, BBC, CNN and I knew it wasn’t a hoax, although I desperately wanted it to be. In that moment I didn’t feel anything. She kept asking me if I was ok because she knew that was like my band, especially when it came to coping through music. Hell less than I year ago I got one of their lesser-known logos tattooed behind my ear.

I didn’t feel anything all night until I was actually telling my mom about my connection to the band and especially to one particular song. But I worried it was just me, didnt want to seem like a weirdo, plus I knew id get some crap from the Ex if I said anything. But I then saw the next morning while srolling through various social media accounts just how many people my age and slightly younger were moved and upset by his passing. These were not just people who I knew were into alternative music, no this was everyone from several different countries and social backgrounds and tastes. Thats when it struck me, he was the voice of my generation for people who needed that scream in anger but calm soothing in peace on the other side of the coin in that voice Chester had. Some songs lyrics could be crushing, others could be uplifting. So I thought I would share something about my past that I really don’t write about, or share…mostly because I’m not that person anymore and have really made some strides in becoming a better person…but it was their music that helped take those first important steps.

In 2000 I was sexually assaulted by one of my close guy friends…I wont go into to much detail but it happened and it ended very messy legally and we didn’t win the case. That’s all I’m going to say on that. Two years prior I had tried to commit suicide and this was something that him and me confided in each other and was one of the basis to our friendship, he was hurting and I wanted to help him. But he betrayed that trust. Later that school year in the spring I was struggling to bad to know which way was up. I felt like I was going out of my mind and I felt like I wanted to die again. I had nothing to live for, no one believed me, I felt like I was the laughing stock at school, and the pain and guilt hurt so much I just couldn’t stand it anymore.

I checked myself into the “fourth floor” mental unit in a hospital in Kansas City, MO Now this was the days before the Internet was in its hay day and things like that, so we had an hour of creative time before we had our next group chat session. And I heard Crawling come on the radio.

I had heard the song “One step closer” because it was actually my brother that had the CD first. But this was different, it was like he was coming through the speakers and talking to me!  Lines like “wounds they will not heal, confusing what is real” I mean things I said in group almost word for word! I stared at the old-school silver and back stereo like it was a tv, hanging on every word that came out. If it was a scene in a film the camera would have just slowly tracked in on the speaker and then cut back to me, going back and forth.  I desperately waited for the DJ to tell the name of the song and the band and I frantically looked for a pencil to write it down in my journal. I eventually after two weeks was cleared to leave and head back to school. I stole my brothers CD and played the album Hybrid Theory to death, especially the song “Crawling”.

I still struggled with self-harming for a year or so after, but their songs moved me. Now some could read this and scoff and go “oh wow angsty much?” but you have a flood of very adult emotions and experiences hit your still developing 15-year-old brain and then get back to me.

I graduated high school in 2003, but then in 2005 I was diagnosed with Epilepsy.  I was actually ok with this because at least this was a tangible condition I could fix and try to deal with; where as mental health is like fighting an invisible demon. They think that my diagnosis was delayed because of my battle with being bipolar and a lot of anti-convuslants also deal with depression. But through art I dealt with my condition with writing a stage play called “Life with Eddie” which was a young kid that gets an aura (warning when seizure is coming) in the form of a fellow kid called Eddie (which is actually his epilepsy) Anyway once again the song “crawling” came back into my life. This time was now the Reanimated remix that was slower and more orchestral.

I moved to Colorado after that in 2006 and started going to Colorado film school. and to date i had made at least 3 video project to Linkin park, not just because i was a fan, im a huge fan of Evanescence, its just their stuff is so visual and once again their lyrics inspired me. but i remember i had a ring tong to “what I’ve done” and then finally after that in 2010 i moved to England, got a civil partnership in 2011, that sadly I’ve lost and cope with you guessed it a Linkin Park song. I wish i had some poetic way of ending this post...but alas I don’t.

Mental health is something I’m very passionate about, I still struggle with suicide and depression to this very day. I wont lie there are days i feel so overwhelmed that i just stand that little step closer to the platform edge at the train station. but when I’m in a clearer head I actually fear death. I guess the moral of story is everyone deals with depression and inner demons differently. Mine is self harm, not any more really, and I’m blessed hasn’t progressed into substance abuse. but when you are that low, its like being drunk or high, you are not in the right mind. you are blind to normal thoughts like “family and friends that love you.”  until you are standing at the edge of your own platform, please don’t judge or criticism. Chester sorry you couldn't handle your demons, but thank you for helping me cope with mine

[dangan-aesthetic]

im not sure if this counts as a request or not and you can absolutely delete it if it does but... if im not mistaken mod twogami has a fondness for broadway so... could they recommend any shows? i've been trying to get into more shows and such...!

It doesn’t count as a request! don’t worry, you’re fine! oh my gosh though I love Broadway SO MUCH I am SO HAPPY to make a list for you I LOVE talking about stuff I like! 

one warning I should maybe give is that I tend to be more into modern musical theater, so the majority of shows I really like are from after like 2000 if that’s okay with you. I’d be happy to recommend some older stuff if you’d prefer, I’m just not as knowledgable about it. another warning: I am incapable of brevity. this list is way too long… i’m so fuckin sorry… i’m really really sorry. 

comedy:

♡ the producers (2001). the show that really got me into musical theater. it also won more tony awards than any show, ever. about two broadway producers who try to create the worst musical ever, ergo hilarity ensues. maybe not the best pick if you’re uncomfortable with content that makes fun of nazis, but if it helps, the writer is jewish (and I’m jewish and don’t have a problem with it). there’s also some adorable gays, and a movie version that’s very faithful to the show, so that’s nice. you want the 2005 movie if you want songs (the 1968 movie isn’t a musical). also, if you like this, young frankenstein is a great show by the same creators with a similar sense of humor.

♡ the book of mormon (2010).two mormon missionaries go to uganda. absolutely hilarious. pretty crass though, and i’m sure problematic as hell (by the creators of south park, if that’s any indication), so be warned. but it’s just… such a fun time.

♡ a gentleman’s guide to love and murder (2014).a rare musical comedy that’s actually not that crass. about a man in edwardian england who learns he’s ninth in line to inherit an earldom, so he kills everyone in his way to the position. actually a very lighthearted comedy. bonus points for a love triangle that turns into a really cute poly triad.

♡ avenue q (2003).sesame street, but about issues faced by people in their mid-twenties: a kindergarten teacher tries to snag a boyfriend, a recent college grad tries to find his purpose, a gay republican struggles to come out of the closet, gary coleman is just kind of there. song titles include “the internet is for porn” and “everyone’s a little bit racist.” puppet sex. a good time.

♡ a funny thing happened on the way to the forum (1962).slapsticky, very clever, hilarious if you like roman history, funny even if you don’t. about a roman slave who wants to earn his freedom, his young master falling in love for the first time, pirates, soldiers, sex workers, a lot of stuff. the movie is very good. I’m also partial to the 1996 cast album because I love Nathan Lane.

drama:

♡ sweeney todd (1979).just… a masterpiece of a musical score tbh. about a barber who seeks revenge for his tortured past. people get baked into pies. if you haven’t noticed, i really like musicals that make light of murder (although i’m guessing you like funny media about murder too, since you came to a danganronpa blog to ask this?). funny, moving, dark, creepy, powerful. I’ve never actually seen the movie and don’t really recommend it from what I’ve heard, but a production of the show is on DVD with most of the original cast, and it’s definitely worth a watch. also, if you like this, i recommend p much anything stephen sondheim’s ever written. he’s a genius.

♡ spring awakening (2007).takes place in the late 19th century, but is very, very relevant to issues kids face today. covers stuff like the importance of sexual education, child abuse, the pressure placed on kids by school, and the confusion teenagers go through when discovering sexual desire. very heavy, but very beautiful (note: this is maybe the musical I know that is the most difficult to get a sense of the plot by just listening to the score, so I’d recommend maybe reading a plot summary or watching a bootleg or something. there was a cool production last year where a lot of the cast was deaf and it was bilingual in english and asl! idk if there’s a bootleg of that anywhere, but it was a good time). tw for rape, suicide, abortion, child abuse… yeah, it’s dark.

♡ next to normal (2009).about a family dealing with their mom’s mental illness, and covers stuff like how her life is affected by her illness, how fucked up the process of getting treatment is, and how mental illness affects her relationship with the people around her. I find it very realistic, very moving, and very relatable. of course tw for mental illness and suicide. i am dan goodman.

♡ natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812 (2012).just reopened on broadway! based on part of war and peace, so you’ll know the plot of war and peace and look really smart. about a woman who gets swept up in an affair while her husband is at war in 19th century russia. the plot isn’t really what’s interesting so much as the gorgeous musical score and really cool things they did with the staging / mixing the 19th century and the modern day.

stuff that’s a mix of the two genres:

♡ the frogs (2004).a comedy that gets more and more serious until it’s… not really a comedy anymore. dionysus and his slave go to the underworld to bring back george bernard shaw and make the world right again. shakespeare is there. hades is gay. was on broadway for all of like four months and is pretty damn obscure, but it’s SO GOOD, I promise.

♡ heathers: the musical (2014).another comedic musical about murder. I love comedies about murder. a girl befriends her high school’s popular clique and gets a sort of fucked up boyfriend. shit goes down. I feel like it does a very good job of representing what high school is really like (my high school experience, anyway), and is a good mix of funny and serious. heavy tw for suicide and mental illness (and briefly for eating disorders, but it’s just a couple of comments).

♡ matilda the musical (2010).based on the roald dahl book! about a little girl who is extremely intelligent, but is surrounded by neglectful parents and an abusive headmaster – so she fights back against them. what a genuinely fun, heartfelt time. great lyrics, super creative, and has a scene where someone eats a whole cake, which is always a plus and very relatable (note: im twogami, what were you expecting). tw for child abuse, but the musical is meant for kids, so it’s not very graphic.

♡ my fair lady (1957).thought maybe I should throw in some older stuff as well. early 1900s england, an upper class linguist asshole tries to turn a lower class flower seller into a “lady.” the movie is very, very good. is based on a very feminist play but was made into a slightly misogynistic romance for hollywood, so I’d recommend reading pygmalion if you’re unsatisfied with the ending (but it’s not like the movie doesn’t do its fair share of calling out higgins’s misogyny).

♡ 1776 (1969).also has a very good movie. about the founding fathers and the signing of the declaration of independence. maybe don’t watch this if you’re mad that hamilton is glorifying slave owners (note: I like hamilton, but I didn’t put it on this list because I’m kind of tired of it by now, and anyway I’m sure you know about it). a very good mix of funny and historically accurate. 

anyway I hope you enjoy this list and can forgive me for… info dumping rlly heavily on u… love u, hope ur havin a good day, thanks for letting me talk about this. tell me if you end up checking out any of these shows and liking them! - Mod Twogami

[recklessinforks]

Gerad Way is fucking compassionate. Change My Mind?

Twilight and MCR, a confusing but sensible relationship.

“ I feel like I’ve already physically been where they’re at with having people dissect you and your personal life and treating you like something that they own. I know what that feels like, it’s actually sympathetic, if anything.” - Gerad Way on Vampire Money

Last track on mcr 2010 album titled, Vampire Money, suprisingly sums up my feelings looking back on the Twilight Saga. The song contextually reflecting on the request to compose a song for 2009 New Moon and repeatedly denying the requests as MCR viewed it as it’s a cashgrab and would have to sacrifice their authenticity. As the outro sarcastically states:

“Oh wait Oh, I'm such an idiot Our music is way too loud Gonna have to turn it down a little I'm sorry “

They would of had to change their music style and their authenticity would have crumbled. Although MCR is related to Gothic Vampires and Meyer including Im Not Okay on her spotify playlist on her official website as songs she hears when thinking about the Twilight universe. An indication that she’s a fan of the broad genre, as also having Muse and Linkin Park on the playlist.

Last Twilight movie came out 2012. From 2005-2012 every fucking year there was a Twilight heavily processed and controlled piece. 2005-2008 4 books. 2008-2012 5 movies. Never escaping the mental toll of press conferences. I mean Pattinson famously walked out of the premiere theatre.

I can’t see why theres no sympathy for the actors always in the fame light. Who really wants to live that life? Where you can’t be proud of your work because it was a mistake? not truly what you want to do? GEEZ this mental toll would kill me. Being embarrased over your efforts. And that’s made into a mockery and seen as cute and funny with gifs. To me, it’s more sad and that shouldn’t be ignored. Only being funny in the absurdity of his pain.

“The kids don't care if you're alright, honey Pills don't help, but it sure is funny Give me, give me some of that vampire money Come on! “

Pattinson and Stewart were symbols for gothic sacrificial horor genre of the early 2010′s. Their overseers in a way, the public audience. Controlling them, demanding more of them. Never being seen as people, dehumanised so they can be symbolic representations of sex. I don’t blame the actors or production team, it’s how we as consumers see/treat them as people (or lack of said treatment) and the art being created. Nothing is wholly good or bad. But sometimes the pendulumn swings more strongly, one way.

Sometimes I prefer books just because Hollywood is fucked and at least there’s less people involved and hopefully the initial desire is pure and it’s carried out  more authentically. Maybe I’m wrong? I think its a lose lose situation for the consumers and the creation production team. Nobody is ever pleased but the giants making big bucks.