#oh how lovely it is to see your url in my inbox again 🥰

[cantuscorvi]

There was just a deep sigh escaping Gabriele's throat when he observed Raum preparing his coffee. After another glance, he eventually brought his own small cup to his lips and remained silent, despite the looming judgement. There were things that would potentially start a world war right in the morning, and he wasn't ready to tell Raum he was, again, doing something wrong. (hello I just sit with you in your inbox)

@distopea

“Tsk. Stop it.” The words were flat and low while Raum kept his eyes firmly down at what he was doing. His back was turned to Gabriele, yet the heavy silence behind him spoke volumes as to what he was thinking. Even for someone like Raum, who brushed others’ opinions off with relative ease, the feeling was oppressive.

“Your thoughts are too fucking loud.” Raum scowled down at his mug, running a hand through his bed hair. His patience was always limited first thing in the morning — and after a late night previously, he didn’t feel in the mood for that Italian nonsense Gabriele was often starting with. Raum rolled his eyes to ceiling. He could almost imagine the tirade before it began. This is the tradition, that is wrong, yap yap yap.

“If I want to put cream and sugar in my coffee, I’ll put it in,” he grumbled. And he started to do exactly that, regardless of the invisible daggers he felt in his back. In fact, he was putting a copious amount of icing sugar and cream into the double espresso. When he put it all together under the steamer, the squeal of the machine was gratingly loud.

By the time he was finished, he had a glass of blond coffee that was so sweet it might as well have been hot ice cream. He sat with it at the table across from Gabriele and snorted at the look on his face.

“—What? You want to try it?” He asked, already knowing the likely answer. He sneered a little before he took a sip. The caffeine and sugar hit was exactly what Raum needed. He dabbed the cream off his upper lip with his tongue, then grinned.

“And you have the nerve to call me pretentious. Pull your jaw back in before we go out today, yeah?”

[semmie]

Shit I…I??? I????? I?????????? Lord give me strength

This was a roller coaster ride of emotions…first I was screaming because OH MY GOD IT’S LY I’M FINALLY SEEING HER OFF ANON but then…but then I start reading your (amazing) work…GOT ME CRYING ARARARAHDLWFIWTRQRQEARAWTQRAR

NO I??? I LEGITIMATELY MEAN IT WHEN I SAY I TEARED UP???? The pacing…the flavors…Leona’s emotions written out…holy fuck. /pos

I thought I was prepared because I thought maybe reader is gonna d-word bUT nOoOoOoO I CHOOSE HOME OVER LEONA!? HOME OVER LEONA!? LEONA!? LEONA KINGSCHOLAR????????????????

When Leona failed to notice reader’s voice wavering and tears stinging her eyes bro I was I was just I fucking my heart fucking squeezed painfully for a moment there I’m jumping off a fucking cliff

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT WHEN LEONA WAS ABOUT TO PROPOSE THAT SHIT HURT SO MUCH UEUEGEUEUEJRFLALFKAK PLS I WAS ROOTING FOR HIM WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR HIM Y/N WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SJFUEYWIDLFIQRAERD

WHY DID I THINK IT WAS GOING TO HAVE A HAPPY ENDING??? DESPITE READING THE TITLE, THE SUMMARY, YOUR NOTES AND ALL THE OBVIOUS SIGNS THAT THIS WILL MAKE ME CRY (OUT OF SADNESS MIND YOU) IM GONNA SKFJWPFOQPFJWFKWDUQPRPWOD I DONT WANNA DO THIS Sem is rejecting reality once again ☺️☺️

You know what?

This is all Crowley’s fault.

mf so many years for you to find me a way back home and you find it now???? now?????? after I’m obviously already settled with Leona???? The love of my life?????? What the fuck????? Crowley what the actual fuck?????????? /j

When Leona mentioned eight years…that was my last straw.

EIGHT YEARS EIGHT FUCKING YEARS

AND WHEN WHEN WHEN WHEN YOU WHEN YOU WHEN WHEN YOU wHeEeEeEeNNNN WHEN YOU WRITE THE ENDING….FUCK I JUST???? ALL THE THINGS I COULD SAY YES TO (READ: LEONA’S PROPOSAL) I SAID YES TO HOME?????? HOME?????? FUCK HOME LEONA’S MY HOME ARARARARARARARAR *AGGRESSIVELY YELLS* IM SORRY I HAVE NO WAY TO EXPRESS HOW GOOD AND WELL-WRITTEN THE ENDING WAS I AM JUST.

HOW IS THIS OOC???? HOW IS THIS OOC???? EVERYTHING IS PERFECT IM GONNA RE-READ THIS SO MANY TIMES YOU BET IM GOING TO /srs

Hoo okay…now that I got some of the rots out for your absolutely delicious mouth-watering heartbreaking screaming crying banging head against wall fic (yes my feelings are still wild and it will never calm down /pos)…

LYYYYYYYY 🥺🥺🥺 I CANT BELIEVE I GOT TO SEE YOU OFF ANON HEUEHEUEHEUEHEUEU IM SO HAPPY PLS THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST DAYS IN NOVEMBER I LITERALLY SCREAMED AND SQUEALED IN MY ROOM AFTER I SAW YOUR MENTION ARAGELWPFJFKALFJAKFJAOFKAKFJ

Your url, your blog’s theme, your reblogs. Everything screams Shroud brothers HEUEHEHEHEHE you’re really weak for Ignihyde huh 😌😌😌 /pos

IM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!!! Now I can invade your inbox/pms as much as I want 😈 /j

Thank you so much for this fic I love it an unreasonably huge amount this is bad for my mental health but the angst is so so good ARAFARAFARAFA LY BEST WRITER AWARD 🏆🏆🏆

So in conclusion this is my thoughts on Ly’s appearance and this fic 🥰🥰🥰

What was supposed to be - Leona Kingscholar

Reminiscing about what was supposed to be a perfect night was the last thing he wanted, but his stubborn mind refuses to listen.

important note: this was the original ending idea I had for this Leona headcanon— also, beware of angst? idk, I tried // she/her pronouns

a/n: if you actually see this, hello Sem my beloved (@semmie)! remember when I said that the day I'll post the whole thing will be the day I'll go off anon? Well, this one's for you! (I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me after this </3 /lh) // I'm a sucker for soft-for-yuu-because-hes-so-in-love!Leona so I'll use that as an excuse for the ooc-ness

word count: 2k

There used to be a time when the silence was something Leona always leaned onto, when it was always something he searched for — something he cherished as it served the best scenario for his frequent naps.

‘Hah,’ he scoffed, ‘used to be.’

Oh, how he missed the serenity that came along with the silence. He missed the tranquility he often felt whenever his eyes closed shut for a nap. He missed feeling at peace as he rested for the rest of the hours…now the silence was louder than the chatter that echoed through the walls of the palace. Louder than the laughter that his brother and nephew often shared. Louder than the screams and roars he'd let out at the edge of a cliff as he let go of all the frustrations inside. It was louder than everything else but his raging thoughts.

Everything was supposed to be perfect.

Everything was perfect…so, what happened?

It was quite literally just two weeks ago when they were at their own place, arms wrapped around each other, nuzzling the closest that they could from one another to find their source of comfort. It was two weeks ago when they stayed in blissful freedom from the rest of the world; it was a mere two weeks ago when their eyes stayed glued to the other as they claimed that the shine in them was as bright as those of the twinkling balls of fire in the night sky (after a brief invitation from Leona to visit the palace the next week).

And then as they rode on his broom into the night sky, taking a closer look at the diamonds that scattered all throughout the void, was when the sound of her joyous laughter filled his ears — a sound he admitted to himself to always want to hear.

He remembers doing a sudden dive and hearing her shriek from behind him as she wrapped her arms around his waist the tightest she could, how he found her reaction amusing and not even bothering to hide the fact as he laughed. He received an earful from her that moment, but he didn’t mind. In fact, he only did it again. The feeling of her arms being tightly wrapped around him gave him the best feeling. He couldn’t really describe it but he knows it’s a mixture of comfort, content, joy, serenity, and security, maybe even more.

When he turned to look at her, he remembers getting lost in her eyes, unintentionally tuning out the string of playful curses she threw his way. The moonlight was to be blamed though, he remembers thinking. It was at fault for bringing out the beautiful color of her irises and how soft they looked.

And when she realized how dazed he was as he continued to stare at her face, the biggest smile made its way to her lips, heat coming up to her face.

He swears she wore the brightest smile he’s ever seen, and that’s actually saying something as he has a nephew and a former schoolmate who people would compare to the sun. He swears her smiles can brighten up a room surrounded by nothing but void — and most especially his darkest days; it was one of the things that kept him going, to progress his living.

He was so happy. He was so content. He was so filled with love to the point where the voices of his worries and insecurities started to become fainter and fainter with every day he spent with her. They became almost nonexistent.

Almost.

Tch.

Of course, it wouldn’t last as long as he had hoped. Of course, it would end up the way he is now — bitter, alone, sad, disappointed; he's just Leona Kingscholar after all — the second-born prince destined for nothing, the disgrace of the family, the lazy and arrogant lion, the one that’s never really… the one.

His lips pursed at the thought, further leaning his body to the railings of the balcony, somewhat hoping that the cold breeze of the night would wipe his thoughts clear. No avail.

Sigh.

…he expected nothing else.

Soft music filled the garden. Fairy lights twinkled alternately as they hang loosely on the branches of the trees nearby. It wasn't much, but it was enough to illuminate the small area where they currently stood — swaying to the music as they held onto each other.

Leona arranged everything in the garden (with unwanted help from Farena, his sister-in-law, and Cheka, and as well as from some of the servants). The decor was simple: a round table at the center, both their favorite meals neatly arranged on top, flower petals scattered all throughout the garden grounds, and the fairy lights that his beloved herbivore loved oh so dearly.

It wasn't much, which had him worried at first, but after a much-needed reassurance from his sister-in-law — that after getting to know his beloved, she was certain that he didn't need to do anything extravagant for her sake — he was able to calm his nerves.

How his brother convinced him to do this here, in the palace — his least favorite place, was beyond him.

'Keep it simple, but keep it sweet. I'm certain that this will go as smoothly as you deem.' she mused, patting his shoulder with a smile. He scoffed at the gesture but nodded his head with the tiniest smile he tried so hard to suppress.

Later that evening, when everything was perfectly set up, that's when the one of the words he was hoping to hear left her lips:

'Wonderful… This is beautiful.'

When he glanced down at her for a quick second, the limited light presenting him with the perfect sight that is his beloved, he remembered feeling every emotion synonymous to love hit him all at once. Of course, this all happened within him.

Leona was so caught up in his emotions (quite a rare occurrence) that what the usually attentive lion failed to notice was the waver that came along with her praise. Her voice wobbled. Her eyes watered. Her tone was unsure.

These were the important things that he failed to immediately discern.

He stiffened when a hand made its way to his shoulder, catching his attention. His first instinct was to shove it away, but the moment he saw that it wasn't anyone… unwelcome, he relaxed a little.

"I'm sorry."

He gave no response, nor any indication that he acknowledged his sister-in-law.

Because what was he to say? That he's fine? That they didn't need to worry? That he doesn't care? Because he cared. He cares so, so, so much. That's why this is hurting him more than it should.

He loved — no, loves — her more than everything he's ever cared for his entire lifetime…

So how can he ever be fine again?

‘...’

‘Rabbit? Herbivore?’ He looked up from where he kneeled, his palms holding onto the velvet box that carried a precious ring that was supposed to bind them to one another, a ring that signified another step taken for their relationship. He expected the tears in her eyes, his herbivore was always so emotional over the little things he did, after all (and he loved her for that), but what he didn’t expect was the frown that tugged on her lips. It was supposed to be an excited smile.

Her eyes were supposed to reflect excitement. She was supposed to let out a tiny sob, giggle, apologize, then scream out a 'yes!' — a yes laced with immense joy, excitement, and overwhelming adoration and love — because that's how he knew his herbivore. After the few years they spent getting to know each other back in school, and the next years they spent together after graduation, he could confidently say that he knew her…

But why was she frowning? Why was she on the brink of crying? — not in the way he anticipated, mind you. Why wasn't she excited? Why did she look like she's trying to carefully nitpick the words to mutter next, but failing?

‘Leona...I— sorry, I can’t.’

Just a moment ago his heart was pounding, nerves excited. A lengthy speech deeply engraved in his mind, word for word practiced until perfection with his reflection.

But now as he kneeled, as he processed the response he had just received, his mouth ran dry, his throat choking in unsaid words. He was at a loss for words— speechless.

His grip on the balcony railings tightened.

The memory of what happened just a few nights ago replaying in his mind, again and again and again, was the last thing he wanted.

Sorry, I can' t…

I can't…

Can't…

They say repetition is meant to give emphasis to a specific something. Unfortunately for him, that something was the memory of the night from a few days ago — more specifically, her words.

But he didn't want that; he didn't want that night to be given emphasis in his life! What he wanted was silence, but not just silence, but the kind of silence that brought along peace. What he wanted was an escape from the loud noise that keeps on playing in his mind — a noise that took the form of what he refers to as unwanted memories.

Great Sevens, why couldn't he find anything to provide him with some sort of comfort?

"Leona, there you are! Cheka and I have been looking all over for you!" he grunted upon hearing the familiar voice calling out to him — the voice of the current king of where he resided, his brother.

He refused to pay mind to his presence and proceeded to stare at the night sky.

Farena watched his younger brother ignore his presence and every word he threw his way; he watched Leona's tightened hold on the railings as if it did him all the wrongs that caused his disheartened state at the moment.

At the sight of him lost in his thoughts, he backed out. As much as he wished to comfort his younger brother, there was no doubt that he'd only cause him even more frustration. As if he would even listen to what he has to say; Leona's already doing a wonderful job at ignoring him right now, isn't he?

When the footsteps of his brother became fainter and fainter, indicating that he's once again left alone, he sighed. He was glad he left. He didn't want any company right now…

Unless it's her, the desperate part in him whispered.

Tense silence filled the atmosphere as they sat across from each other. Both were trying to find the words to say.

But how does one even speak after rejecting a proposal? How does one move on to another topic after just recently breaking both hearts?

"It's Crowley, he…" she started, hesitant to finish what she had to say. But continued in a soft whisper, "he found a way back…home."

Home...but didn't she find a home in Twisted Wonderland? Didn't she find a home in her friends? Didn't she find a home in him?

That meant she needed to make a decision. And based on her response to his question earlier, he’s certain that she already has. But that didn’t stop him from still asking.

"After all these years— after eight years?" his question asked more than one question; his question held more than one meaning.

But she answered as one. She nodded, head lowered and eyes stinging as she avoided his burning gaze.

He found it amusing, in a bitter way, that a simple nod would be the cause for the fortress that he's spent all his life establishing to keep his sanity and protect his heart, to crumble.

He never knew until that moment that a simple nod could manage to shatter his heart as if it was nothing but fragile glass.

Her nod meant two things: it was [1] a yes to answer the question of Crowley managing to find her a way back, and as well as [2] a yes to confirm that despite almost a decade with one another, she still chose to return to where she's originally from.

Her nod was an answer of 'yes,' just not directed towards the question he was hoping for.

hehe, hope you enjoyed ^^ - 11/16/21