#oh ho ho ho..... stroking my beard thoughtfully.... yes

[jenthehenrn]

SANTA

Yeap, true story.

I'm a night shift critical care registered nurse that works in some trauma hospital in my area. Years ago, I get a phone call one evening from the Emergency Department. They were going to send me a patient that happened to be 'Santa'.

Me: What? Santa? You mean, like Hobo Santa? With cheeks as yellow as piss and beard as brown as shit?

ER: no. Like, Santa SANTA!

I get very skeptical when ED starts buttering up their reports like this; the last time I got "Mother Teresa", she sundowned into the Mother of Satan. Goes to show how much they want to rid their nightmare patients.

But the ED nurse assured me this is SANTA. And a very stable one too! He came with a problem that immediately got fixed in the ED, but still needed ICU monitoring and bedrest overnight to make sure the problem didn't come back.

Stable. I can deal with that. So I told them, bring him on up, not thinking much about this Santa.

The ED staff brings my patient up and a resounding "HO HO HO" echoes through the hall. Everyone in the unit lifted their eyes to see Santa on his sleigh gurnery. He waved as if the whole unit was a christmas parade on TV.

"Oh my god! It's Santa!" My coworkers faces lit up like giddy five year olds in a toy store.

"Hey folks!" He cheerfully greeted as we settled him in his room.

This Santa had everything. The cheerful boisterous laugh. Flowing beard as white as snow. Butt cheeks as soft as a baby's face (yes, of course I wiped Santa's ass). He was the kindest patient I ever met, never trying to be a bother and apologizing every time he needed something. He also had the holiday creds too with 10 years of Mall Santa gigs and a couple of TV commercials under his belt. The staff every once in a while gathered around for a story or two; with Santa around, all was calm, all was bright, and no one friggin' coded in the whole hospital.

Right before I tucked Santa in bed, he asked a question: "Hey! What do you want for Christmas?"

Heck, I don't know. I was just glad I was having an easy shift tonight. My job made okay money. My wants were simple. Mind you, this was also the middle of April and Anything I would've wanted for the holidays, I wouldve bought it by now. Not that I was content; I just don't beleive in wishes coming true.

But if there is one thing money didn't buy, it was time. For years I got stuck working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, missing out the rest of the family gathering and opening up gifts. You see, the unit holds a lottery for the big holiday six if you're 12- hour Night Shift: Thanksgiving Eve, Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve, New Years Day. On average, everyone works three of those shifts, with Senority nabbing Christmas Eve and Day.

So I told Santa my dilemma and joked that I wanted five of those holidays off. Thanksgiving Eve, Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day. New Years Eve.

He thoughtfully stroked his beard. "Well! I'll see what I can do."

I didnt get to see him the next night, but I was happy for him. He transferred to the regular unit and was discharged the next day.

That upcoming fall we held our lottery. And on November, I smiled.

Out of the six holiday shifts, I only had to work the night of January 1st.