#oh gee thanks because me and my muse tOTALLY NEEDED THAT REMINDER

[myhockeyworld87]

Ruined - Jamie Benn - Part 2

Word Count: 5,716

POV: Jamie

Warnings: Language, Smut, NSFW, talks about losing virginity

Notes: Here is the next part right away. Hope you guys enjoy this. Happy Reading!!!

Ruined Masterlist

Throwing on some shorts and a t-shirt, you headed down to the kitchen to whip up a quick protein shake before Tyler got there for your morning workout. With the season just around the corner, you’d pushed training into high gear, Tyler coming to your place every morning before you’d head off and workout with your trainer. In just a few short weeks training camp would be in full swing and you wanted to be in your best shape to make a run for the cup. But the Stanley Cup wasn’t on your mind as you turned the blender on, the grinding sound echoing through the empty house. Empty was the keyword there. You were tired of being alone, tired of going out to the clubs, ending the night with some mindless hookup. Maybe it was the fact that Jordie had finally popped the question to his long-time girlfriend Jess and the two seemed blissfully happy, that was making you want to settle down, or maybe it was seeing your sister with her little girl and longing for a family of your own. Whatever it was, you wished that you could just meet the perfect woman and fall madly in love. 

 The problem was you were too picky. They were either too tall or too blonde or maybe it was not blonde enough, then there were the ones that didn’t talk or were too chatty. You seemed to find something wrong with each and every woman you dated. Hell, your longest relationship only lasted six months and you’d only kept her around that long for appearance sake. You wanted a meaningful relationship with the girl of your dreams. It didn’t seem like much to ask for.

 “Hey, I see you're getting new neighbors.” Tyler’s voice brought you out of your musings and you glanced at him as he walked into your kitchen. “Well not neighbors exactly, since it’s like two houses up, but the woman who’s moving in is hot as hell.”

 “Do you mean in Doc Lundin’s place?” Dr. Lundin had been the team doctor for the Stars for the last several years and had finally decided to retire. You’d heard his practice had been looking at a young and upcoming doctor to take his place but didn’t know that they’d hired anyone. 

 “Yep,” Tyler finally answered. “Must be the new doctor’s hot wife. It’s a shame she’s married because, DAMN!” He gave a low whistle of approval. “I’m telling you, I’d be all over that.”

 “Don’t you have a girlfriend?”

 “We’re in an open relationship.” All you could do was roll your eyes, for all Tyler’s relationships were open, at least on his end. “But hey, if you wanted a crack at her, I’d give you first dibs, since it’s been a while.”

 “Gee thanks,” your sarcasm was not lost on your best friend.

 “I’m just saying it’s been a bit since you’ve gone out with anyone.” This you already knew and were just contemplating moments ago. “Maybe we should go for a run while she’s still out directing the movers.”

 “Why don’t we leave the new doc’s wife in peace at least for a day or so.”

 “You’re no fun.” Tyler downed half your drink but luckily, you’d made enough for another glass, before you headed out to your pool house that had now been turned into a gym. The two of you spent the morning and afternoon training before Tyler headed back to his house.

 It was just after dinner when you decided to go for a run, now that the sun was setting and the Dallas heat wouldn’t make your shoes melt to the pavement. You thought you’d head up to see Jordie and Jess, who only lived about six blocks away. It would be a short little run, but still, a way to get some exercise in. As you stepped out of your house, it was still a bit steamy, so you tossed your shirt off, and flipped your cap backward before heading up the street. The moving truck seemed to be gone, so you guess whoever it was that captured Tyler’s attention was busy inside unpacking. You were so absorbed in checking out the house you didn’t realize that someone was coming around the corner at you until your bodies collided. Your hands immediately went to her hips to steady her. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t watching…” you started to say while she was apologizing to you at the same time. It wasn’t until you looked at her face that recognition hit, then all words died on the tip of your tongue. “(Y/N), is that you?” She didn’t need to answer for you to know that it was her. This was your (Y/N), the first girl you ever kissed, the first girl you ever slept with, and the only girl you ever loved. Though you’d ruined all that. Standing there, you took in all of her features and you were reminded of how much you’d loved her back then. How much that first and only time with her had meant to you. 

 You’d been so nervous driving all the way to Vancouver with (Y/N), but she was more nervous. So, you took her hand and held it the whole way, occasionally dropping kisses here and there. The foot that wasn’t driving, bounced uncontrollably up and down with anticipation of the night to come. You were pretty sure you were wearing a hole in the flooring of the car. It had to be the longest car ride you’d ever had. “Did you maybe want to get something to eat before we head to the house?” You asked (Y/N) hoping to break some of the silence that was filled only by the stereo in the car. 

 “Yeah, we could do that.” She glanced over at you and gave you a weak smile.

 “(Y/N), we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.” You totally meant the words you’d just spoken, for you in no way wanted her to feel pressured about having sex with you. This should be something you both wanted.

 “No, I want to. Don’t you?” Her voice picked up a little bit, the sound more reassuring than the smile she gave only moments ago.

 “I want to, too.” God, you sounded like an idiot. “I went to the pharmacy and got protection, so you don’t have to worry.”

 “Oh, you didn’t have to.” This time it was your turn to look over at her, trying to see if you misunderstood her statement before scanning the road again. “I’m on the pill, have been for a while.” She said by way of explanation. “My mom thought it would be best, once she found out I was actually dating someone, but we can use the condoms too if you want.”

 “I mean…uh…” were you really having a conversation about birth control methods? You supposed it was the adult thing to do. “If you think we should, we can.”

 (Y/N) turned in the seat to fully look at you then. “Ok, so this will probably sound stupid.” Your head bobbed back and forth between the road and the girl you were in love with.

 “(Y/N), nothing you say is stupid. You’re the smartest person I know.”

 She leaned over and kissed your cheek. “Thanks,” she took a deep breath. “Anyhow, I kind of don’t want to use a condom if we don’t have to, at least this time.” You weren’t quite following her thinking so you remained silent for her to explain. “Like, it’s both our first times, so there’s not a chance of us getting a sexually transmitted disease or anything. We just really have to worry about getting pregnant. Which since I’m on the pill, and before you say anything, I take it the same time every day, so no worries there. I think we’re safe on that account.” You nodded your agreement, for it was just like (Y/N) to be so precise about something. “But the real reason I don’t want you to use it is…” she hesitated, almost as if she was embarrassed to tell you why. She certainly had to know that there was nothing to be ashamed of, especially with what the two of you were about to do. 

 “Just tell me (Y/N). I promise I won’t laugh or make fun of you or anything.” You squeezed her hand giving her a little added courage.

 “I just want to feel you.” Her face started to turn a combination of pink and red, which looked totally adorable on her. “You know nothing in between us. I just really want to know what it feels like.” Fuck, you wanted that too. 

 “Yeah, that does sound nice.” You tried to downplay it though inside you were a jumble of nerves now, and thinking about what it would feel like to be inside her only made those magnify. What if you spent the moment your cock dipped inside her pussy? What if she didn’t cum? There were so many thoughts whirling around in your head, that you were ready to explode, and in more ways than one. 

 “So, then you agree? No condom.” (Y/N) asked you, drawing you back to the present.

 “Yeah, no condom.” The car grew silent again and you could feel your hand sweating as it held (Y/N)’s. There was only about another half-hour left in the drive. “So, where were you thinking to get something to eat.” You changed the subject hoping to take both of your minds off what would happen later. You stopped off at a little burger joint that (Y/N)’s family always went to when they were in town. You couldn’t stop grinning at each other all through the meal. It was really quite ridiculous. 

 Afterward, you headed over to the house. You carried both your bags in. “Umm…where should I put these?”

 “Oh, I don’t really have a bedroom here. I just sleep in one of the guest rooms, so we can just use one of them. They’re upstairs.” You followed her up the stairs, as she led the way to the bedroom. Inside was a massive four-poster king-size bed that had curtains draping down from it. Both of you just sort of stared at it for a full minute, letting the weight of what was about to happen sink in. “You can just put our stuff over there.” She pointed to the window that had two chairs sitting by it.

 It was late in the afternoon and you weren’t really sure if you should wait until dark to do this or start now. Everything felt too planned out, except for the exact timing. “Did you want to…” you trailed off, unable to put your thoughts into words. 

 “Oh…umm…yeah,” (Y/N) answered and you took a step closer to her. Your hands went to her waist, as you pulled her closer to you, before dipping your head down to kiss her lips. It was awkward, just like it had been the first time you kissed, but then your tongue slipped inside her mouth and you felt her melt into you. She pulled back though suddenly. “Oh, I almost forgot.” She stepped over to her bag, rifling around inside. “I brought these.” She pulled out a couple of glass candles. “I thought…well I don’t know what I thought, but you know, they always have them lit in the movies.”

 You smiled over at her, taking a couple of them and setting them on the nightstand and dresser. “Do you have something to light them with?”

 “Oh, one sec.” She took off downstairs and you could hear her rummaging around the empty house. You gazed at the bed. Should you turn the covers down? Maybe take some of the pillows off? You were contemplating what to do when (Y/N) came back in. “I found a couple more, and this.” She held out a pack of matches and you took them, lighting the candles that she’d placed throughout the room. She pulled the blinds down on the windows and it cast the room in a romantic glow, which reminded you of the item you brought to add to the romance.

 You pulled your mp3 player out of your bag and found the love song list you’d created for tonight and turned it on. You prayed that (Y/N) wouldn’t think that it was cheesy. When you finally turned around, she had the most adorable smile on her face. As you took the couple steps to close the distance between the two of you, she took a step back, and suddenly all those nerves from the car ride were back. “There’s just one more thing.” This time she grabbed her bag and headed into the bathroom. 

 While she was in there, you shucked off your shoes, then decided to get rid of your socks as well, since it would just be awkward to have them on. Grabbing the small bottle of Listerine, you had packed, you swished it around in your mouth then looked around for someplace to spit it out. There wasn’t any, so you just swallowed the small amount, coughing as you did. Lastly, you threw off the sweatshirt you had on. The fewer clothes you had to take off the better was your thought. You were tugging down the plain black t-shirt you had on, when (Y/N) stepped back into the bedroom, clad in a short silk robe. Your mouth went dry. Thoughts of what was underneath or what wasn’t filled your brain, both the one in your head and down below. Fuck, you needed to think of something else or this was going to end before it even started. You tamped down the lust that was threatening to boil over and walked towards (Y/N). “You look,” you shook your head trying to come up with the right word but there was only one. “Beautiful.”

 “Thanks,” she mumbled back as a blush stained her cheeks. “I’m nervous.”

 “Me too,” you admitted and you wiped your palms off before reaching for her. They slid around her waist then up her back as you looked her in the eyes. “Are you sure?”

 “Yeah,” she breathed out knowing that you were asking if she still wanted to have sex. You kissed her then like you had so many times in the past. Her arms slid up around your neck and you deepened the kiss. When you heard her moan, you let your hands roam to the belt of her robe, which came easily undone. Your hands roamed up her sides where you felt her lace bra. You were dying to know what she looked like in it. All the times that you and (Y/N) had done anything sexual together, she’d never been completely naked nor had you. It was always something hurried in the back of your car or on the couch when no one was home. Now though, you could drink your fill of her as you were alone with nothing and no one to interrupt you. 

 Gently, you pulled back from the kiss so you could gaze at her. Her body was covered in white lace, and you wondered if she had done it on purpose; sort of a nod to giving her virginity away to you. Unconsciously, you licked your lips as you took in the swell of her breasts and the curve of her hips. She was sheer perfection. “Damn,” you hissed out. “How did I get so lucky?” She giggled at your comment then let the robe slide off her shoulders; the view now even better than a second ago and you were finding it hard to breathe. 

 You felt yourself get hard just standing there staring at her. “Jame,” she said breaking you out of the spell. 

 “Yeah…uh…sorry.” You blinked hard, then took her hand and led her over to the bed, where you kissed her again. Slowly, you leaned her back onto the mattress, as your body hovered over hers. This part was nothing new, you’d made out with (Y/N) hundreds of times. It was what came next you were unsure of. Her hands slid under your shirt, and she bunched it up so that you could climb out of it. It fell to the ground somewhere in the bedroom. She then reached for the button on your jeans, but you knew if she took them off now, you’d be done. So, you rolled her to her side and followed her, unclasping her bra the minute her back was free. Your legs tangled with hers and you felt her hips gently rock into your thigh. She wanted this just as much as you did but you needed to make it good.

 Last night, you’d pulled Jordie aside and told him of your plans, purely so you could ask his advice. He’d chirped you, of course, for not having done the deed with (Y/N) sooner. But when you threatened to just leave, he stopped. He gave you a ton of information, go down on her first to help her relax, make sure she was wet before you even tried to stick your dick in her, go slow because it will probably hurt her, and the last bit was, make sure you didn’t bust your load too soon. The last part was the one you were truly worried about.

 (Y/N)’s bra now forgotten, you focused your attention there as you twisted both of your bodies so that she was now lying flat on her back. Kissing your way down her neck, you first took one nipple and then the other into your mouth. She moaned and it went straight to your groin. Thank god you still had your jeans on or you’d had spent right then and there. There were times you’d spend a good hour, just toying with breast but tonight was not going to be one of them. Working your way down her stomach, you kissed her right above where her panties were. The cute little white lace panties barely covered her pussy, and your mouth salivated just thinking about tasting her. You hooked your fingers around the elastic at the side, then started to shimmy them over her hips. (Y/N) rose up to help you rid herself of the flimsy garment.

 Setting back on your heels, you drank in the sight of her bare body. You’d never seen her totally naked before, so you took a moment to just drink in the sight of her. One leg slightly bent, her arms off to the sides, but fidgeting as you gazed at her. “Jamie?” Her voice wobbled slightly and you could tell you were making her somewhat nervous, yet you couldn’t take your eyes off her.

 “Sorry,” you said a blush coming to your cheeks. “You’re just…perfect.” She smiled, then sat up, grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you in for a kiss that had you wanting more. “Lie back,” you told her after kissing her breathless. She did and you took your hands and glided them from her ankles to her inner thighs; spreading her legs wide, so you could settle in between what you knew was your own little piece of heaven on earth. You grinned up at her before laying your tongue flat against her sweet little pussy, then licking between her folds. Her hips bucked forward even at the first contact. Your smile growing wider knowing that you were turning her on. You couldn’t help looking up at her as you flicked your tongue back and forth over her clit. Her hands fisted into the sheets and she moaned out something that you couldn’t quite hear. 

 Spreading her pussy lips with your fingers, you dipped your tongue inside her. “Jamie,” she cried out, and then you felt her hands threading through your hair urging you to continue. She tasted so sweet as you licked up and down her slit then flicked her clit. When she was wet and wanting more, you slid a finger inside her, mimicking what you wanted to do with your cock. Just the thought of being able to slide it into her warm and wet pussy had your cock hardening to granite. Fuck, you needed to get her off, so that you could feel her wrap around your dick before you lost your load. You made that come-hither motion, finding that spongy little spot up inside her. “Oh God,” she moaned out and you felt her legs start to tremble, as your hands kept them from clamping down on your head. Your tongue worked tirelessly on her little nub, alternating between flicking and sucking on it, as you fingered her. “I’m gonna…cum.” (Y/N) barely got the last word out and you felt her pussy spasm around your finger while her whole body bucked upwards. You felt a rush of wetness hit your lips and as much as you wanted to lick up every bit of her essence; you didn’t. 

 She slowly came back to reality with you, as you moved back up the length of her body until your lips were locked with hers. This time when her hands went to your waist you didn’t stop her as she undid first the button then the zipper. (Y/N) tried to help you shimmy out of your jeans but it was no use, so you rolled off her and wiggled out of them yourself. Her giggle went straight to your groin. “We have time, Jame.” You knew she was right but this was a moment you’d been waiting for, for a while now. You tossed the jeans and then your boxer briefs to the floor, before rolling on your side to face (Y/N).

 “I know…it’s just…” you couldn’t quite put it into words, but she nodded her understanding, bringing her hand to your cheek and slowly kissing you. Your hand roamed up her bare back, pressing her close against your skin. She felt so soft and supple in your hands, and you rolled her onto her back, your body looming over hers as your lips and tongues molded together. She moaned into your mouth, and you broke the kiss looking down at her. There was a questioning look in her eyes at your actions. “Are you sure you want to do this? You can tell me no right now and we’ll stop.” It would kill you, but all (Y/N) had to do was say the word.

 “I want this Jamie. I want you.” She cupped your face and brought it down to mere inches above hers. “I love you.”

 Your lips spread into the widest smile that ever graced your face and it had nothing to do with her saying yes to sex. “I love you too, (Y/N),” you told her and although they were only five words, they were the truest thing you’d ever spoken in your life. This wasn’t some fleeting crush that a sixteen-year-old boy had on a girl. This was true love in every sense of the word. You’d known your feelings for her the first time you’d met, now they were just intensified and what would happen next would bind you two together. 

 Her legs fell open, letting you work your way between them. Taking your cock in your hand, you slid it in between her damp pussy lips. She gasped, breaking the kiss and allowing you to stare into her eyes. “Let me know if I’m hurting you,” you hissed out as you nudged forward just an inch. Her walls surrounded your cock and it felt like heaven. Jordie was right, you just wanted to push all the way into her and shoot your load, but you couldn’t or wouldn’t do that to (Y/N). This had to be good for her too. She bit her lip, which made you wonder if she was in pain or if it felt as wonderful for her as it did for you. Another inch forward and you felt a barrier in your way. You knew enough about the female anatomy to know what it was and that going forward would change everything, not only for (Y/N) but you too. You leaned down and gave her another kiss, hoping to ease some of the tension that you could feel coursing through her body. When you felt her relax a bit into the kiss, you pressed all the way forward burying yourself deep inside her. (Y/N) froze and you pulled your head back to look at her, as all the blood in your body went directly to your penis. It took every ounce of your being, not to move. Sweat beading across your forehead as you asked, “Are you ok?” You couldn’t tell if she was breathing or not. She had to be, right? 

 Finally, she inhaled deeply and it was as if you were taking a breath with her as the two of you were finally joined as one. “I think so…I...just need a second.” God, you weren’t sure you could last that long. Her breathing started to even out, as yours became irregular trying to keep your body in check. “I think…” she wiggled and you hissed in a breath. “Yeah…I’m ok…maybe if you…” she didn’t finish what she was saying as your hips moved of their own accord, just a thrust in and out.

 “Fuck.” You were cursing more at yourself for moving than anything else, but damn if she didn’t feel good. 

 “It’s ok,” (Y/N) moaned out, her arms reaching around to your back urging you on. “Keep doing that.” Those words were like music to your ears and you found yourself surging forward back into the warm cavernous heat of her pussy, then pulling back out. 

 “God you feel so…” Good, just didn’t seem like the right word, but at the same time, your brain wasn’t exactly looking for another one. Your cock started to twitch, your balls getting that familiar tightening. You couldn’t cum, not yet, you’d only been inside her for a few minutes. You wanted this to last longer; wanted her to cum too, but there was no more fighting it. “I think I’m…”

 “Yes, Jame, cum inside me.” That’s all it took and you thrust one last time before shooting your load in her as she reached up and kissed your neck. Stars clouded your vision, as your climax hit you. A strangled groan leaving your lips. You’d never came that hard in your life, as you collapsed on top of her.

 It took a second for you to basically regain consciousness. “Shit, I’m sorry. I’m probably crushing you.”

 (Y/N) laughed. “Actually, I kind of like it.” Your laughter joined hers until you started to wonder if it was appropriate for sex. You could feel your cock softening inside her, so slid it out of her as you rolled to your side. She whimpered slightly.

 “Fuck, baby, did I hurt you?”

 “No, I mean…it was a little uncomfortable at first but…then it felt so good.” She was on her side now gazing at you.

 You brushed a stray lock of hair off her face. “Sorry, I couldn’t last longer, so you could…well you know.” It still felt awkward talking about getting off, even after what the two of you had just done.

 “Don’t be. It felt good, Jame…really good….and maybe,” she ducked her head down into your chest, suddenly shy and mumbled something incoherent.

 “Babe,” you said, lifting her chin with your thumb and index finger. “I can’t hear what you said.”

 There was the cutest blush on her cheeks. “I just thought…maybe we could do it again. Like later tonight and well maybe tomorrow before we leave.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, her words were like a dream come true. Damn right, you wanted to do it again; as many times as she’d let you.

 “Yeah, baby. I definitely want that.” Your lips connected with her, and after what the two of you had just shared, (Y/N) not only stole your heart, but your soul. That night you made love to her again, only then you made sure she came with you, just like you did in the morning before you left. Those twenty-four hours would forever be embedded in your brain and your heart, and as you dropped her off at her friend's house, so she could maintain her cover you knew that you would love only (Y/N) for the rest of your life.

 Now, here she was fourteen long years later back in your arms. You shook yourself making sure that you weren’t dreaming. She still looked the same, only better; all hips and curves and things that made men lay awake dreaming about at night. As you took in her features, it struck you then. All those other women the ones you’d found something wrong with all the time; didn’t have anything wrong at all. It was just, they weren’t (Y/N). They were only filling a void from the time that you’d ruined everything until now. She was the woman that everyone else had to measure up to, only now she was someone else’s. Fuck, the thought made your head spin. Had it truly taken fourteen years to get her back only to lose her?

 “Hello, Jamie,” she finally spoke and her voice washed over you taking you back to that day and the way she’d called out your name when you were inside her. Your cock hardened instantaneously. She was pressed close to your body and you wondered if she could feel it. 

 “It’s so good to see you.” They were the first words out of your mouth that made sense but they were also the most truthful. It was just too bad that the look on her face didn’t reflect the same. “Sorry, I’m just in shock seeing you is all.”

 “No, I get it.” She replied. “Do you live around here?”

 “Uh…Yeah, I’m the white house right there.”

 “Oh,” she seemed to be taken back by this knowledge, which was probably understandable. Especially given the fact that her husband was going to be your new team doctor. Nothing like having your ex be your new neighbor. 

 “What about you? What are you doing in Dallas?” Though you knew the answer, you needed to hear the words come out of her mouth as confirmation, for until you did; you held out that small hope that there was a chance to make things right again.

 “Um…well.” It was then that she stepped out of your embrace. You hadn’t realized how naturally she fit back in your hands and that of their own accord they didn’t seem to want to let go. “I just moved here.”

 “Kind of got that with the moving truck and all,” you replied, your hand going to the back of your neck at your awkward comment, though she did smile at your words. 

 “Yeah, I suppose that did give it away.” She shifted her weight from one foot to another. It was a nervous habit of hers that you remember from back in the day.

 “It was hard to miss, but I knew the old owner quite well since he was our team doctor. In fact, I heard our new doc was moving in. I guess I’ll be seeing you and your husband around more.” There you’d finally said it. It was like ripping a bandaid off. Sure, it hurt and all but once it was off the sting started to fade, only this time it didn’t, as a look of confusion crossed her face.

 “Husband?”

 “Oh sorry, my bad. I just assumed you were married. Fiancé then?” Either way, it was going to be awkward as hell seeing her at games and functions, let alone out in their yard. Maybe you’d need to look for a different place. Tyler had just moved recently, you’d have to get the name of his realtor.

 A look crossed her face, and you remembered seeing it once before. It was when you’d tried to talk to her after the whole gossip fiasco. She was angry and you had no clue what you said to make her that way, but this was not how you wanted the conversation to go. “I’m not married or engaged, for that matter.” So it must be a boyfriend then, though that didn’t explain her displeasure with you at the moment. 

 “Geez, (Y/N), I’m really sorry. I just assumed that for you to move all the way here you’d be engaged or married to the guy.”

 “There is no guy Jamie. I’m the new doctor.” A look of shock crossed over your face. Why hadn’t anyone told you she’d gone to study medicine? The obvious answer being you tended not to ask about her when you were back home, only because it hurt too much to think about her being with someone else. Though she wasn’t with someone else, it was just her, and she was now your team doctor, who you’d see almost every day. “I can’t believe that you’d think the only reason I’d move her was for a guy. Incredible! You haven’t changed one bit have you?” 

 “It wasn’t…I didn’t…” She started walking away, just like before when you’d tried to explain what had actually happened. “I just assumed…”

 “Yeah, Jame, you just assumed! That what, I couldn’t be smart enough to earn the MD after my name, or that I’m still only good enough for a quick roll in the hay.” You went to answer but she held up her hand and took a deep breath. “Save it, Jamie. I’m a professional and that’s what I’ll be when I see you at the arena or out, but other than that…we have nothing to say.” With that, she left you standing there speechless as she jogged back up her driveway and into the house. And here you thought you had a second chance, that things weren’t totally ruined between you two. Maybe they weren’t. If anything, her position on the team, meant that you’d be seeing a lot of each other, something you were definitely ok with. You might have messed up all those years ago, and somewhat today, but now you had a chance to turn everything around. Maybe things weren’t quite ruined….yet.

[bigskydreaming]

Thank you again and still for all the help and support! I really truly can not imagine making it through the past couple days without it, considering I spent most of it awake and in the bathroom puking from the constant migraines that come with your head not being happy about its bones not being in the right place. Stress aggravates them, or at least my awareness of them, and because of how little work there is currently and how expensive being broke and disabled in LA is, let’s just say, there’s been stress, lol.

I’m feeling a bit better today, or at least I’m making myself pretend that and act like that since I’ve got another appointment at that clinic where I get my juicy and tasty IV bags of nutrients pumped into me since I barely even CAN eat, physically, which combined with the lack of sleep and the nausea, like, also not a great combination.

So, I mean it when I say your donations and support have absolutely been invaluable, everything from a couple dollars to an anonymous message, like, its all amazing and appreciated and invaluable. Yeah. I already said that, whoops, anyway, BUT I DIGRESS.

That’s about all of an update I have there, lol, so in other news, I should be around more today since like I said, I’m feeling a bit better and have possibly plateau-ed on this latest pain level. (My super-annoying superpower....ever since I was a kid I’ve been able to adapt to increases in pain like a pro. As in, being able to manage/function despite it. Course, I still feel it, but give me a day or two to adjust to a new norm in how much my body hates me currently, and then I can power through).

So, like I said, I should be around more today, and I’ll probably be random as hell. Like I’ve mentioned before, my blog is where I spew literally everything from inane thoughts to fandom feels, since its like.....my only social outlet these past couple years and the only way I get to interact with people who aren’t doctors. Expect no pattern in topics until I find whatever sticks and keeps me focused on it enough to serve as a distraction from, y’know, the broke body and broke bank account.

SO! Absolutely feel free to hit me up about anything and everything. ESPECIALLY if you’ve made a donation or sent me something. Like, I know some people who have sent money don’t even follow me or know me at all and are just generous spirits who saw my post somewhere, but for any of you who have sent any kind of support just cuz you like, like me and my rambles, lol, totally feel free to drop into my messages even on anon and say what kind of posts or content from me you really engage with and would love to see more of. I can’t make any promises or guarantees, unfortunately, given I didn’t expect or plan on crashing so hard these last couple days, bleh, and just....literally, like, writing more of the kind of stuff or posts people who have helped me stay alive is pretty much the only way I have of kinda giving at least something back, so I mean, I am happy to pounce on anything in that direction. 

Again, just can’t make any guarantees given how unpredictable my life is and depending on how many people send requests or prompts or messages, etc, but I don’t delete anything of that nature and I usually get back around to stuff EVENTUALLY. For instance, I’m REALLY hoping to finish up two one-shots today, one that’s focused on Duke, Dick and Cass from that prompt you sent me a couple weeks ago, @zee-gee, and the other uh.....that umm, TW/X-Men fusion you commissioned way longer ago than my pride will allow me to admit in public @camelotpark, lol. And like, those posts you see me making to @russianspacegeckosexparty about the changelings project I talk about a lot, like.....Adam basically just sends me random thoughts and prompts about it all the time, and its like a running thread that’s easy for me to pick back up and sink into whenever I see a new one in my inbox and I’ve got enough spoons at the moment to dig in.

Also have a couple other things I want to respond to today while I have the energy and a destined-to-be-longer-than-it-needs-to-be meta about Dick’s positioning in narratives with various other characters and WHY I think it so usually works out that way, and I’m aiming to keep that more like....musing-esque than rant-errific, but uh, let’s see how that actually goes, lmfao.

Anyway, that’s what I have in mind for today, aside from my going to get my IV buffet at ten and emailing and calling people from listings about rooms to rent, but tbh, I might just end up being even more random and sporadic than usual, if I can’t focus on any of those long enough to stay sufficiently distracted today. (Like, my other annoying superpower as long-time followers have heard before, is my ridiculously fast metabolism. I know, “oh no, I’m so skinny, poor me,” but like....its never been about weight gain or loss for me, its about how fast my body processes various medications, meaning pretty much every painkiller I’ve ever tried is largely useless to me, or at most wears off in a couple hours.....whereas my ADHD meds actually provide me MORE relief from the pain than any of them. Basically, they let me actually focus on something OTHER than pain and not get interrupted/distracted by the occasional pain spike that likes to remind me its there and wants my attention......so I mean, I still feel everything that comes with my head being physically out of whack, but for the hours vyvanse is working for me, coupled with some heavy duty pain meds, I can like.....just sorta....not care about it for awhile. Like, it hasn’t gone away but its more shoved to the back of my mind at least. And all of that, I’m happy to stuff in a closet whenever I can, lol).

And that’s enough rambles for this post, I think. LOLOLOL, as if I have a quota. But yeah. Just wanted to express how much your support has meant and continues to mean, and like.....I’m still here and alive and crossing fingers that I’ll hear about an actual surgery date soon, but in the meanwhile like......I’m kinda stuck in a perpetual Limbo, one that’s largely confined to whatever is in hobbling distance from my bed of the day, and as much as donations help me physically, in remaining able to at least stay that way, just, any and all interactions on here help by keeping me engaged with the world on at least some level, and make it so I have stuff to think or talk about beyond my own situation and how I’m not a super huge fan of that.

(Okay, I shouldn’t say any and ALL interactions are appreciated, since I have my fun little runs of anon hate in my inbox, but I mean, all of the above is why they’re not really a big deal to me and never have been. Its like, dude, my own body has been trying to take me out for the past three years, and you think a few insults from an anonymous stranger are gonna do the trick? LOLOL, please. Tbh, the only real negative effect anon hate has on me is that it makes me a bit more snappish and quick to assume the worst than I’d like, when people @ me in a way that I misread as aggressive or in bad faith. I’m aware that my day-to-day temperment is a lot more irritable and open to fights than I usually like to be, as self-control is kinda a big deal to me, and my situation and stress and other shit kinda keep me constantly operating at a level best described as itchy, and none of that is an excuse for any times I read an interaction wrong and go for the throat. I just mean like.....I’m a very blunt and straight-forward person, and I do appreciate when people take a similar approach to me as it really helps keep those misreads to a minimum. Any time someone wants to engage with me in some way, I promise I am SO much easier to talk to if you just....put it out there, whatever it is. Its the games people play online (and in real life) that just frustrate the hell out of me and...yeah. Again, I’m not saying any of that as an excuse or a request for a free pass any time I fuck up an interaction or cross a line, I’m just saying, if anyone’s held back on interacting with me because they think I might snap at them or mistake it for them trying to start a fight, like......just be direct with me. Honestly, thats just....always gonna be more productive when it comes to me.)

But yeah. So that’s the current state of me and all that jazz. Again, I so appreciate everything everyone’s done to support me, not just these past couple days but over the course of these past three years as well. I notice and remember all of it, and its why even though I rant and complain and am critical about so much in society and fandoms and all that.....I really truly am a believer in the idea that there’s more good in people and the world than bad, and the bad just tends to be louder is all. It was especially loud for me the last couple days, the volume got way jacked up, but the goodwill from you guys has been more than enough to drown it out and give me some reprieve.

Alright, shutting up now. All done. The end.

[mobius-prime]

221. Sonic the Hedgehog #153

Oh god, is Sonic, like… okay? Is he all right up there? What horrific manner of trouble did he get himself into this time to have his face become deformed like that? Also, I like how this cover implies that Sonic is being hunted down by someone shooting lasers or something, when literally nothing even close to the sort happens within the issue. I know it's perhaps getting a bit stale to point out every time the cover art doesn't reflect the stories inside, but dammit, it makes me laugh so I'm gonna keep doing it.

Songoose (Part 1 of 2)

Writer: Karl Bollers Pencils: Ron Lim Colors: Jason Jensen

Eggman has a new agenda to enact. He's offered Nack the Weasel a large sum of money in exchange for assassinating someone very important within Knothole, and despite Nack's apparent reservations about waltzing into a place where he's wanted for quite a few crimes, he seems pretty jazzed to accept the offer nonetheless. Within Knothole, Sally has arranged a mock battle training exercise between the Freedom Fighters and the Chaotix to strengthen team bonding and combat skills, and oversees the training along with General D'Coolette, discussing the various combatants' strengths and weaknesses.

Uh oh, that doesn't sound good. In fact, at that moment they get a call from the king and queen, still halfway around the world, and apparently the king is also exhibiting similar symptoms to the general, prompting Sally to muse on whether their illnesses are related. She wonders if they should cut their trip short and return home, something which the king is against but the queen tentatively supports, but the conversation is interrupted when suddenly, the general seizes up and then collapses onto the ground. That's… probably not a good sign. Worse still, "Antoine" doesn't even seem to care, though of course we know why.

So this is actually a plot point that's kept up throughout a lot of subsequent issues - apparently, Tails' crush on Fiona is still going strong, despite the fact that he literally "fell in love" with a robot duplicate of her which had nothing in common with the real her. It's honestly a very weird detail to seize upon, as while Fiona being a real person and a unique character in her own right is interesting, and the fact that she's joined the Freedom Fighters even more so, Tails trying to like… flirt with her and become her boyfriend is just a bizarre place to take it, especially considering the age difference. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know it's not uncommon for a kid to end up with a crush on an older teenager, but multiple writers from here on out write Tails as being actually infatuated with her and unable to "let her go" after her robot duplicate broke his heart. It just doesn't feel like Tails to me and it's frustrating, to say the least. But anyway, moving on, everyone agrees it's a good idea to go to Mina's concert tonight and disperse. Sonic catches up to Fiona and tries to explain that Tails looks up to her, but she just makes a snarky comment about Sonic being one to talk about respect given how he acted the other day towards her - yeah, apparently he still hasn't told everyone that it was his evil double flirting with all the girls. Also, we never actually saw Evil Sonic come on to Fiona before, but I guess it just happened offscreen. She then admits to him that she hated him for a long time for leaving her behind in Robotnik's prison camp all those years ago, but changed her mind after seeing him sacrifice himself for the planet during the Xorda invasion, making her realize that he never left her behind on purpose. Aww, that's actually nice! Fiona has the potential to be a really interesting and complex character, and, well, honestly she's one of my favorites of the later comics, so I'm glad to see her getting more screentime.

That night, Sonic and the others show up backstage at the venue to give Mina a friendly pep talk before her show. She hugs Sonic, thanking him for the encouragement, and Ash immediately becomes very jealous and butts in to remind everyone that he's Mina's boyfriend and band manager and that she needs to go to the stage now, prompting a clueless Sonic to wonder what his problem is. However, Mina's performance actually kind of reveals that Ash has a good reason to be suspicious of her interactions with Sonic, as the sappy, lovey-dovey lyrics of her songs all reference the color blue in various ways, and are clearly influenced by her previous infatuation with Sonic. But things aren't as happy and peaceful as they seem, as a suspicious figure lurks in the crowd…

So Mina was Eggman's target, huh? Strangely enough, Nack, with a totally clear shot to the stage, misses and hits a tree several feet above and to the side of Mina. Like, it's not even played off as "oh, he was trying to make the tree fall on her, or someone bumped his elbow" or something - he just straight up misses for no reason, sets the tree on fire with the blast, and then tries to make a run for it. Some assassin you are, especially considering your alternate name is Fang the Sniper! Sonic, Bunnie, and Ash immediately race onstage to check on the startled but unharmed Mina, and Bunnie focuses on putting the fire out while Sonic races after Nack, catching and knocking him out easily. Nack wakes up hours later in Knothole's jail, where Sally and Sonic attempts to question him on his motives, and he decides to be all flippant and act like it's no big deal that he was caught, as he'd rather spend some time in prison than ruin his "cred" by giving up the name of his employer. I'm sorry, Nack, but what freaking cred are you even talking about? Like what, are you gonna go around telling prospective employers that your skill set includes missing a target forty feet away, setting a random tree on fire, and then immediately getting arrested? Sally merely points to the cell across from him, where he's quite perturbed to see the three other weasel associates who helped him kidnap her a year ago, and she invites him to go ahead and spend his time in jail sharing space with them after he knowingly left them to take the fall for his failed plan. Of course, he spills the beans on Eggman immediately.

Well… I suppose that's not even out of character for Eggman, considering his original counterpart also hated music. Sally decides to assign Sonic as Mina's personal bodyguard for now, while the other Freedom Fighters keep an eye out at the next night's concert to make sure nothing comes near Mina. Ash isn't pleased at all with Sonic being close to his girl, and stomps off, with a bemused Sonic commenting to Mina that he's pretty sure her boyfriend doesn't like him. Gee, what gave you that idea, Sonic? Sally's caution is warranted, however, as back in New Megaopolis we see Eggman preparing his next plan of attack in the wake of Nack's abysmal failure - he's rebuilt Heavy and Bomb, and is ready to sic them on Mina! Man, it's been a while since we saw those guys, huh? Now that I think about it, after they got reprogrammed by Eggman before, Sonic just kind of straight up killed them when they tried to attack the royal family, and no one seemed upset about it at all. Well, maybe with them back, they'll get a chance to be freed and find redemption… or maybe the writers still don't care and they'll get fridged again. Guess we just gotta wait and see!

Fairy Tale (or the Adventures of Pirate Sally)

Writer: Romy Chacon Pencils: Art Mawhinney Colors: Josh Ray

Wow, it's been quite some time since we last had a "telling a bedtime story based on real events in the storyline to kids" episode, huh? Apparently, Rosie's three young charges have caught a bad cold, and as she brings them medicine to try to help them sleep they all start begging for her to tell them a story. She's reluctant, claiming she's not good at stories, but relents when they persist in asking. She invents a magical world of pirates and wizards, where the "Elfen Fox" falls onto "Pirate Sally" and "B-Bot's" ship, having had one of his two magical tails stolen by the "Rogue Assassin," who doesn't really live up to her name if all she's doing is going around stealing things. Man, what is it with wildly ineffective assassins this issue? Pirate Sally and B-Bot decide to help out the fox, and along the way meet their new allies Ant the Foole and the Blue Knight, who help them defeat various baddies based on the main villains of the comic's storyline. Finally, they make it to the Evil Wizard Kintobor's lair, whom they fight against as a team and help the Elfen Fox take back his missing tail.

I actually love this story, entirely because of the way the kids just start roasting Rosie's storytelling skills as soon as the whole thing is over. Hey, look on the bright side Rosie - now that they're preoccupied with coming up with a way to fix your terrible story, they won't be pestering you for more anytime soon!

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 37

Last time: Beard was Father Of The Year, General Raven got used as construction materials, and Kimblee was a creep. Onwards!

Some Briggs soldiers walking dramatically towards some light? Or forces from Central that got some fur-lined coats, Sideburns is saying they showed up as Winry’s “escorts” and answer only to Kimblee. Episode 37 - “The First Homunculus” Wait, what? The first Homunculus? Does this mean that we’re getting an episode on Uncle? Awesome! Winry’s tinkering on Ed’s arm while saying she should have been told they were heading north, and no, the excuse of “we were in a hurry” isn’t going to fly buster. And what sort of trouble did they get into to get locked up? Aw hell no Kimblee, don’t you go saying this is all a “misunderstanding” from a lack of communication (and I see what you did there, implying the boys got in trouble because they didn’t talk just like they didn’t tell Winry anything). Oh, how gracious of you to get them released soon. Winry, don’t trust this jerk. See, Ed agrees with me, warning you to stay away from him. But if Kimblee has one thing going for him now, it’s an admittedly smooth twisting of Winry’s emotions by being polite, saying that he was with a group who tried to save her parents, claiming he admired their bravery, and that he found their bodies with a picture of their little girl sweet LETO smite this man down. [Kimblee]: “Your parents were true heroes, and it’s an honor to meet you.” Wow. Ok, Kimblee just earned some serious Evil Manipulator points there. How are Ed’s vague warning supposed to hold up to that? Even he has to admit he only has Riza’s story to go on- oh ho HO! But that wasn’t the only thing they talked about! [Cartoon!Riza]: “Speaking of Winry, you’re in love with her, aren’t you?” [Cartoon!Dog]: *snickering* And here’s Ed, lying on a bed in his undershorts as Winry leans over him- wow. Smoooooth, buddy. Real smooth. Just lie there determinedly facing away from your crush and recite the periodic table, that won’t raise any concerns at all. [Winry, quietly]: *sigh* “Why did I have to fall in love with such a weirdo?” [Ed, snapping out of it]: “Eh? D-did you say something?” [Winry]: “No Ed, I didn’t say anything.” *painful wrench twist distraction, go!* Alright, Ed’s all put back together, although I’m a little worried about this new arm being slightly weaker than the old one. Ah well, when it breaks that’ll give us an excuse for more shy crush freakouts. Oh hey, Buccy! What are you in- uh oh. Run dude, run! Before she sees- too late, Winry is now going gaga over Buccy’s arm, apparently a “M-19 Mad Bear Lightweight Combat Model”. With diamond-tipped claws, to boot! Aw, Buccy’s blushing. Now he’s sad to hear that Winry’s already Ed’s mechanic OW dude what the hell?! [Wounded!Ed]: “What’dya do that for?!” [Heartbroken!Buccy]: “‘Cause life isn’t fair!” *storms out* Now the local mechanic’s offering to show Winry the northern automail in his workshop, Ed protests briefly but then Kimblee swoops in to have a chat. Gee, this’ll be fun. Aw, and Al’s still locked up, with some of Kimblee’s goons keeping an eye on him. Al muses about their strategy of keeping the brothers separated and parading Winry as a reminder of their hostages. Although “I never realized how nervous we make them” is a good point. They just need to bide their time for now and wait for the opportune moment to strike. Just don’t take too long.

Armstrong the Great is checking in at the backup tunnel entrance, a soldier’s saying the Advance Team’s been gone a week when they only had three days worth of food. Buccy’s leading the second team, goes so far as to ask for the entrance to be sealed with concrete if they aren’t back within 24 hours. Yyyyeah, do you remember Sloth? That monster that tore through your foundations a few days ago? These are Goths we’re dealing with, that won’t be enough. Regardless, you’d better hurry. Meanwhile Armstrong the Great tells her troops that she has full responsibility for Raven’s disappearance, if he’s found then they’re ordered to place all blame on her. Down in the tunnel now, the team sets off aaaand we’re in Central now. Right, Roy was meeting with Armstrong the Great’s spy. She says that things are getting rough up north, and what the strong defense of Briggs needs is a good offense. Uh, what? Ok, I can understand the whole defensive aspect of an army built around a massive fort, but they just finished researching Combined Arms to make Tanks. How exactly is their attack power lacking? Whatever, let’s just accept that the North is “lacking” in an aggressive offense and use the excuse to get Roy involved. [Flower Lady]: “Oh no, Madame Olivier needs the strength of your army, not you. She said you might as well just get lost.” Wow. For being the guy to kill Lust, Roy just gets no respect these days. 3500 cens poorer (or quite a bit more if I read all those zeros on that bundle of bills right) but critical intel richer, Roy asks the departing Flower Lady who she is. Get a name for future intel drops, right? [Flower Lady]: “Oh, just someone who’s served the Armstrong Family-” *removes bandana to reveal the Armstrong Hair Curl* “-for generations.” She’s totally Granny Armstrong, isn’t she? Man, she just has to meet Granny Rockbell. Turns out that people you fought through hell with years ago can become close and powerful allies. Who knew? Now… what about all these flowers? Back underground in Sloth’s tunnel thaaat’s a decapitated horse. Ok.

So good news: they found the Advance Team! Bad news: they found the Advance Team, meaning they should probably turn around right now. Oh hey, survivors! Let’s grab them and head back to base to debrief or you could kneel down and talk to them in the middle of this massacre. *headdesk* I thought you guys were supposed to be defensive experts? Wouldn’t that entail withdrawing from an area that is clearly Bad News? Aw crap. There’s an eye, and it does not look happy. One of the survivors is screaming about getting rid of the lights, the Shadow ooh so that’s how they survived, it’s like Vashta Nerada where it attacks with shadows. No lights, no shadows. Oh crap it’s those little arms from the intro, put those lights out! It’s coming! It… stopped? Glared away from the panicking soldier and withdrew. Why didn’t it attack? Well whatever, the troops lucked out this time and are taking the survivors back. Maybe Armstrong the Great can get some proper answers out of them. Riza! Dropping off paperwork for Bradley, he’s not around (talking with the Shadow, maybe?) so Mama Bradley takes them for now, she’ll make sure that HOLY LETO SHADOW ARM LOOK OU Wait, what? Selim? What was… Yikes. Ok, so apparently when it’s not butchering soldiers in tunnels, the Shadow’s playing bodyguard for Bradley’s son. Huh. I guess he really does care about his family. Although that’s going to be problematic, if when we try to take Wrath down his kid intervenes with his “imaginary friend”. I don’t suppose we can convince him to side against his poppa? A butler’s taking Selim back to his room, Riza’s complementing Mama Bradley about her kid- [Riza]: “He seems like a really sharp kid.” [Mama Bradley]: “He certainly is. He’s the pride of pride of pride pride pride FUCK “-pride of my life.” RUN. RUN NOW.

the creepy music has started up as Mama Elric says that Selim is “related to my husband” but we know that Bradley is a Goth, Riza starts to panic as she connects the dots, briskly walks away thinking about how Bradley was raised as a test subject without any family, I suppose he could have had Selim with another woman before he married Mama Bradley but the music points towards a darker possibility [Distorted Voice]: “So, you’ve put it all together?” There’s Selim, standing in the hallway behind a stock-still Riza, she recognizes the presence as the same kind of bloodlust when Gluttony tried to kill her. Little Selim just stands there grinning cutely, saying she has nerve to demand answers as little shadow hands spread across the ground. And he’s insulted when she calls him a Homunculus like Gluttony, as if he’s on the same level as that dumb muscle. Yup. Selim Bradley is Pride. “The First Homunculus” wasn’t Uncle, it was this little kid. Craaaaaaaap. Sooooo, yeah. I just went to Tephi’s room and apologized for taking so long with this episode. Like, WOW. I cannot thank you guys enough for not spoiling this. This is… wow. Mid episode pictures of sweet little Selim with a book (aaaaahhh the Elrics met him in the library and had no idea aaaaahhhh) and Pride, a little red-eyed boy grinning madly surrounded by arms and eyes and so many teeth. We’re back to Riza and Pride, and wow Riza’s got some guts to ask questions even now, trying to figure out what Pride means by The First Homunculus (so what does that make Uncle?). Pride’s amused by her question gaaaaah there are arms going up her legs and around her arms and around her neck and touching her cheek no no no. Pride’s asking if she’d consider joining the Goths oh HELL no you are not turning another of my babies into a Goth, she refuses. [Pride]: “So that’s a no? That’s too bad. Oh well.” Riza just got cut across the cheek wait no you can’t kill her she’s a hostage you do that and Roy will burn Central down oh thank Leto it was just Pride being a jerk, Riza calls him out on the wastefulness of killing your hostage and Pride laughs and withdraws. With one final warning that wherever she is, he’ll be watching from the shadows. Well. This is just GREAT. Back to Briggs, a much, much lesser threat is offering Ed a job. Or actually, he’s passing his own job of hunting down the Ishvalan, Amestrian, and Xingian on to Ed. Wait, scratch the Xing Princess, the third job is “carving a crest of blood” at Briggs. Well that sounds like an upstanding and totally-not-evil task! So what- [Kimblee]: “It’s just like what I did in Ishval. It’s very simple; we kill everyone and soak the land with their blood.”

Of course Ed leaps up and begins saying the proper response, but quiets down when he remembers that Winry is with some of Kimblee’s mooks a room over. Kimblee… dude, really? No I don’t think that Ed joined the Military thinking that he’d be massacring innocents, he even says that he joined intending to never kill. Really now, we’ve already seen you butcher superior officers just to hold onto a Philosopher’s Stone, and now you have two. Why are you still supporting the Goths? [Kimblee]: “I’m curious to see how the world will change.” Huh. I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised, Kimblee has espoused a sort of survival of the fittest philosophy. Humans vs. Goth, which will win in the end? But you’re a human, why help the other- ah, ok. It’s less about Human vs. Goth, more about Kimblee’s total freedom against those of us who think mass murder isn’t the way to do things. Kimblee’s more confused at the idea of Alchemists who aren’t as self-centered as him, as he places… oh boy. There it is, the one thing that Ed and Al set out to find from the very beginning of our story, what they dreamed would solve their problems until they discovered the cost: a Philosopher’s Stone. And Kimblee’s offering it for Ed’s obedience. Faced with the easy way, Ed lowers his head, and then asks to discuss things with his brother and his mechanic. Back in the cell, Kimblee’s listening in as Ed straight up tells Winry she was brought as a hostage. Wow, way to break it gently. Obviously she’s a little confused and upset to learn she’s being used by the bad guys as a restraint for the Elrics. Meanwhile, Al’s shocked to hear that Ed was offered a Philosopher’s Stone, but Ed shuts him down before he can go on about the ingredients. Too much for Winry to hear? Al looks in shock to his older brother who is nearly crying...oh? Ed’s face firmed up and Al squinted his eyes as the Dramatic Music starts up, do they have a plan? Al looks away and tells Ed to do what he wants, the elder brother tells Kimblee that he’s in on the plan. First step - Find Scar, to get vengeance for Winry. As the Alchemists walk away Al tells Winry the secret of the Philosopher’s Stone, then quickly reassures her that they’d never use one, especially when they think there’s another way: May’s Alkahestry. And since she was traveling with Scar, their best bet of finding her is going along with Kimblee’s hunt for now. [Winry]: “I see. Then I guess I had better hurry up and come up with a believable excuse.” Huh? Next day outside of Briggs, Kimblee and the Elric Brothers are getting ready to drive off, when Winry runs up? Oh! She’s inviting herself along as Ed’s mechanic, claiming she needs to be around to spotcheck any issues with the new upgrade! As Ed and Winry fall to squabbling Kimblee resigns himself to Teenage Crush Antics and walks away. Bye, Armstrong the Great! Nice meeting you, hope you get your second army soon to start the revolution! The convoy drives off, Ed worries that things could go badly for the Trio but Winry is determined to not be the Damsel in Distress anymore. Well alright then! Main thing this episode was of course PRIDE, I have to go back and rewrite so many theories once again because of that reveal. Should be an interesting fight! Then we’ve got Ed pretending to go along with Kimblee’s mission for now, we just need to wait for the best moment to turn around and smack down that jerk. Good luck going on the mission Winry, you’re gonna need it.

[dancingkirby]

In which Bolin adults

Chapter 3!  And I still have no idea whether this story is actually decent or a pile of hot garbage, but here it is anyway! :D  This one has the embarrassing sex stuff at the beginning for which my cat was judging me.  There are also some minor continuity errors with Chapter 2, which I fixed before posting it on ff.net.

As soon as their apartment door was closed behind them, Opal turned to face Bolin.

“Are you going to tell me what happened between you and Eska?” she asked.  “Besides the obvious.  I didn’t want to press you last night because you were already so distraught, but I…I feel like I need to know.”

Bolin gulped and snuck a look at her face.  She didn’t look angry, just confused.

“Yeah…” he began, and winced at how hoarse his voice sounded.  He cleared his throat and tried again.

“Yeah, I mean, you should know.  Let me just…oof!  Pabu!”

The fire ferret had jumped onto his shoulders, and voiced his displeasure that his dinner was late.

“Okay, I guess I have to feed him first.”

After Pabu was chomping away, Bolin and Opal sat on the couch.

“So…uh…where to begin?  You know about the general stuff that went down at Harmonic Convergence, right?”

Opal nodded.

“And how much did you know about Eska before this?”

“Well…I knew of her.  And Mako hinted once that something unpleasant had happened between you two.”

“He did?”

“Yeah.  He didn’t go into details, though.”

That was a surprise to Bolin.  Mako had always treated the whole situation with amusement at best and disdain at worst. Pabu, now satiated, jumped into his lap, and Bolin began to stroke him absentmindedly.  He was glad to have something to do with his hands to alleviate the nervous energy.

“Well, we met at the Glacier Spirit Festival before,” he began.  “I was the one to talk to her first.  Things were a bit rough, but then they were better the next day, so I thought hey, this might actually work out.  Then I hugged Korra and Eska…kind of flipped out.”

He paused as he decided how to phrase the next part.

“So…I kept trying to break things off with her, but she’d never listen; she kept threatening to feed me to the dolphin piranhas.  And Korra and Asami and Mako…they weren’t any help.”

He looked at Opal to see if she was still following the story.  She motioned for him to continue.

“And then I did work up the courage to say something, but I must have gone wrong somewhere, because the next thing I knew, she was trying to marry me!  And that’s when…well…you know…”  He figured that his face was approximately the color of a radish.

“I see,” Opal said. Having no Pabu to occupy her, she picked at a thumbnail.

All right.  It was now or never.

“Is it normal for there to be blood?” he asked in a rush before he lost the nerve.

Opal blinked.

“Are we talking about yours or…hers?” she asked.

“Uh…hers.  I was going to ask Mako about it, but then I never found the right moment to ask and I was afraid he’d laugh at me, so I thought I was just terrible at sex, but then it didn’t happen with you and…” He had to stop here to gasp for air.

Opal gave a nervous giggle.

“It’s okay, you can calm down!” she said.  She thought for a few seconds.

“She was probably a virgin,” she said at last.  “I heard that in the old days, when a high-born girl would get married, they’d show everyone the bedsheets the next day to prove that the husband hadn’t been cheated.”

“Eeew!  Why would anyone want to see that?”

“I don’t know. It is pretty stupid.”

“But then…why didn’t you..?”

“It usually doesn’t happen if you’re doing things right,” Opal told him.  “We used lube, remember?  And I’d…already experimented a bit before.”  Now it was her turn to blush.  At least she looked cute when doing it.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.   Was there anything else you wanted to add?”

“Well…I got away before she married me, of course.  Then I was really angry and kind of a jerk for a while, but then we met again at Harmonic Convergence, and when that was over I asked if she wanted to move to Republic City with me, and she said no.  And then the only other time I saw her was at the coronation, and she said nothing about a kid then.”

“Wow.  What a terrible thing to go through.  Why didn’t you tell me this before?” Opal inquired.

“I guess I kind of thought it was in the past.”

“You poor thing. You poor things, really.   It’s weird, but Eska…kind of reminds me of Huan.”

“Your brother?”

Opal shot him a Look.

“Bolin.  Do you know of any other Huans?  Yes, my brother.  He was always…different, and someone always had to keep an eye on him. I guess he was lucky that he grew up in a place like Zaofu, but still…he gets overwhelmed easily.  And then he shuts down, and can even lash out if it gets really bad.”

“You think Eska’s like that?” Bolin asked as he scratched his head.  Eska had almost always seemed to be in perfect control of her emotions.  Except for that one instant of shock and pain in her eyes before she recomposed her expression; that was seared in Bolin’s memory forever.  And the time on the boat, but he didn’t like to think about the time on the boat.

“Well…to be honest, you were easy for her to control. You saw her with Tahno.  I honestly don’t think that he meant any harm…but she seemed to be oblivious to any innuendo.”

“Don’t worry. She’s perfectly capable of defending herself.  I know firsthand.”

“Well, physically, of course…but emotionally?” Opal mused.

“I dunno.”

After that, they ran out of things to say, so they spent the rest of the evening cuddling, eating takeout, and listening to the radio.  It wasn’t really a sexy kind of night after that discussion.

The next morning, they were abruptly jerked out of sleep by the phone ringing.

“I’ll get it…” Bolin sighed as Opal snapped on the light.  He stumbled over to the kitchen and slammed his hand on the light switch there. Pabu followed close behind, because if the humans were awake, that must mean it was breakfast time.

“Hello? Whozis?” he mumbled as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

“We require your assistance.”

“Eska?  What are you doing calling so early in the morning?  It’s…” -he glanced at the wall clock-“5:30!  We were still sleeping.”

“You may attempt to convey that information to Kinalik, but I doubt you would succeed,” Eska remarked drily.  “She awoke at four, and has been running all over the house asking ‘Where’s Bolin? Where’s Bolin?’  Attempts to return her to her somnolent state have been futile.”

As usual, Bolin wasn’t sure he understood all her words, but he thought he got the general idea.

“Well…uh…not much I can do now…YES, Pabu, I see you…but maybe later in the morning? Wait, hold on a minute…who gave you this number in the first place.”

“Korra.  She and her partner seemed greatly displeased about Kinalik’s intrusion into their bedchamber.”

“I see.  Pabu, I swear…look, I have to go now.  Call you back later?”

“I suppose.”

“’Kay, bye.”

He hung up the phone, dumped what he thought was a reasonable amount of food into Pabu’s dish, and went back to bed.

A few hours later, feeling somewhat more refreshed, Opal went off to Air Temple Island for practice while Bolin called Asami’s house back.  

“My cousin mentioned an establishment by the name of Narook’s,” Eska informed him.  “Perhaps you could take Kinalik there for lunch.”

Narook’s. He’d only been there a handful of times since…The Incident.  But maybe enough time had passed that they’d forgotten about it.  Whatever would make Eska and/or Korra less likely to murder him.

“Narook’s it is, then,” he said, “Should I pick her up around eleven?  I had a thing I wanted to do before.”

Eska confirmed it, and they hung up again.

Now…it was time to face Mako.  He’d been avoiding him for too long.

He wasn’t sure whether his brother would actually be in the office today, and had been prepared to leave a message, but Mako was right there at his desk.  Bolin gave a condensed version of what had taken place since their rushed phone conversation not quite 48 hours ago.

“I have to say I’m surprised, bro,” Mako had when Bolin had finished talking.  “I have to admit I was really pissed at you, but I like how you’re accepting responsibility on your own.  Good for you.”

“Awwww…thanks!” Bolin gushed.  He gave Mako a hug, which his brother accepted, albeit somewhat stiffly.

“Just remember,” Mako cautioned, “It’s not all going to be fun and games.  Kids that age throw tantrums.  They make messes.  They say embarrassing things.”

“Gee, it’s almost like you have firsthand experience or something.”

“Maybe I do. Anyway, how’s the job hunt going?”

Bolin looked away. He’d been afraid of this.

“Not great,” he admitted.  “I always have trouble filling out the applications.”

Mako seemed surprised.

“I can help you with those, Bolin, you know I will!  All you have to do is ask.”

“I just…I guess I wanted to do it myself.  And I thought you were busy.”

“I’m never that busy.  You know how important this is.  You can’t just rely on probending or movers.  Especially not now with your new…obligations.”

“Yeah, I get it. I hear you,” Bolin said; in fact he had already heard it several times before.  “I’ll see what I can do tomorrow.”

“Sounds good. Oh, one more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“You know the family reunion in two weeks for Grandma’s birthday?”

“Well…of course,” Bolin said.  Who wouldn’t know about it?  All twelve of Grandma’s surviving children, plus those children’s children and grandchildren, would be there.  In total, there would be well over a hundred people.

“I was thinking…if we took Kinalik and Eska there, Grandma would be over the moon.  You know how she is about royalty, and if she found out that one of her own descendants was royal…”

“Yeah, I see what you mean.  I’ll try; I’m not sure Eska would be too keen on it.”  He glanced at a nearby clock. “But right now it’s 10:30, so I gotta run. Nice talking to you, Mako!”

He had to hurry, but got to Asami’s house just in time.  Eska answered the door.  Kinalik, newly outfitted in Earth Kingdom green, was clutching her hand.

“She is slightly nervous,” Eska told him.  “The anticipation caught up to her.”

“Does she still want to go out?”

Eska asked Kinalik, who nodded.

“I can drive you!” Korra shouted out as she ran into the front hallway, accompanied by Desna. “There and back.  It’s his turn to go shopping today.  And I’ve gotten much better at driving, so don’t look at me like that!”

“Uh, sure. Whatever you say, Korra.”  Then Bolin remembered what Mako had said.  He turned to Eska and inquired in a low voice, “So…what about diapers?”

Eska looked affronted.

“Kinalik has been fully toilet-trained for three months now,” she announced more loudly than Bolin would have liked.  

“Well, um, congratulations then!”  But Eska wasn’t done talking.

“And remember. If you leave her unattended for even one second, and harm comes to her, I will personally disembowel you.”

Now that was more like the Eska Bolin remembered. He tried to make a joke to ease the mood.

“No dolphin piranhas today, huh?”

Eska blinked and tilted her head.

“They are not indigenous to these waters,” was all she said.

“I believe that he was making a weak attempt at humor,” Desna told her.

“Oh.”

Bolin thought he was starting to get what Opal had said about Eska being oblivious.

For all he knew, Korra was actually “much better” at driving, but he soon found out that this was relatively speaking.

“You okay?” he asked Kinalik once they had reached their destination and he was lifting her out of Asami’s old booster seat; she looked a bit green around the gills and didn’t reply.

“Let’s just sit here for a bit,” Bolin offered as he patted a nearby bench.  They sat there for a few minutes until Kinalik’s color returned, Bolin doing a running commentary on anything that he thought might be of interest to a three-year-old.

“Look at that rooster pigeon!” he said as he pointed.  “See how fat it is?  I bet that it got kicked out of the nest because it kept stealing food from its brothers and sisters!”

Eska would likely have opined that the rooster pigeon had eaten its siblings as well, but Kinalik just giggled.

“Speaking of food…want to go eat now?” he offered.

“Okay.”

“Now I don’t know about you, but I’m starving!” he exclaimed as he helped his daughter off the bench.  He remembered Eska’s threat, and added, “Don’t let go of my hand, okay?”

Narook’s was just a couple of blocks over, in a new location since the old one had been destroyed in the battle with Kuvira.  Narook himself was working there today.

“Why hello, Bolin!” he said.  “And look at that pretty young lady who’s your guest!”  He was evidently tactful enough to not ask questions as to their relationship.

Kinalik hid behind Bolin’s legs.

“She’s pretty shy,” he explained as way of apology, but Narook waved it off.  

“You having the usual?” he asked.

“Yeah.  And the kid’s size for her.”

They sat down at the nearest table, Kinalik still obediently clutching onto Bolin’s hand.

“We don’t have to hold hands while we’re in here,” he clarified.  “Just when we’re outside.”

Their orders arrived shortly.  Kinalik looked uncertain at first, but once Bolin had persuaded her to taste it, she ate with gusto.

After they were finished and the bill had been paid, Bolin was unsure what to do next, since Korra wasn’t picking them up until two.  Thankfully, Kinalik decided for him.

“Shiny!” she exclaimed, pointing at a glimmer in the distance.

“That’s the pro-bending arena.  You wanna go see it?”

“Yeah!”

“Sounds good. It’s a bit of a walk, so I’ll carry you, okay?”

Once Kinalik gave her consent, they set off.  Bolin was relieved that his leg only bothered him slightly.

Kinalik was mesmerized once they reached the building.  It was touching to see her reaction to it as a newcomer, since Bolin was so thoroughly used to it.  She dragged him over and put her hands against the wall, staring intently at her slightly distorted reflection.  She would have licked the wall too, but Bolin caught her in time.

“Pretty neat, huh? Did you know I used to work here?”

Well, that was a dumb question…of course she didn’t.

“And I might still be working here, but…” he sighed, “I hurt my knee a few months back during a game.  They’re still not sure whether I’ll be able to play again.”

Kinalik tore her gaze from the wall long enough to shoot him a look of concern.

“Boo-boo?” she asked.

“It was a bit more than that,” Bolin replied.

“Wow,” said Kinalik, as it was difficult for her to imagine any greater injury than a boo-boo.

Just then, they heard a yell.

“HEY!  Hands off the wall!  I just cleaned that!”

“Ugh…we better go. Yeah, I know, I know…” Bolin said as he dragged a whining Kinalik away from the building.

Now it was nearing time for Korra to pick them up, and Bolin felt a sense of satisfaction about how the day had gone.  And he’d gotten through the whole outing without Kinalik having to use the…

“Potty?”

So much for that. Okay, don’t panic, don’t panic…he was panicking, wasn’t he?

First he had to ask where the nearest public bathrooms were, then he was paralyzed with indecision as he tried to decide which bathroom would be the least bad option. She was a girl, so the obvious choice would be the women’s room, but he wasn’t sure he was allowed to be in there even with a small child.  But men’s rooms were so gross…and full of man parts…

“POTTY!”

Men’s room it was. Bolin clapped a hand over Kinalik’s eyes and ran inside with her as fast as he could. Thankfully there was a stall open…and thankfully the seat was clean.

He hoped that waiting outside the stall didn’t count as “unattended.”  He didn’t think that anyone would be able to hurt her in there, unless someone were to descend from the ceiling on a rope.  He instantly regretted thinking that thought.

Five minutes passed, then ten.  Bolin was getting nervous.  What if people recognized him?  He did not want to have to deal with the paparazzi with such a timid child in tow.

“You need any help?” he asked the stall door.  No answer.

“Hey, buddy, what’s the holdup?” a rough-looking guy demanded.

Bolin tried to look as threatening as he possibly could and replied, “My kid is in there.”

He’d hoped that this would scare that man off, but no such luck.

“You look familiar,” the guy said.  “Now where have I seen you there before?”

Yikes.

While the guy was trying to puzzle this out, Bolin was finally bailed out by the toilet flushing. Once the door opened, he hurried Kinalik over to the sinks and held her up so she could wash her hands.  They had to get out of there before…

“HEY!  I remember now!  You’re that probender that got hurt!” the man shouted, causing several heads to turn.

“Okay, Ki, that’s enough washing,” he told her.  They ran out, Bolin not even bothering to turn off the tap.  Thankfully, their “friend” didn’t pursue them.

They were safe for now.  But there was going to be talk.  Bolin doubted that this guy would keep their encounter a secret.

Despite this challenge, Kinalik was returned to her mother in one piece; she didn’t even get carsick on the drive home.

After enduring several disconcerting questions from Eska about Kinalik’s bathroom visit (“Foolish turtleduck.  You are a parent now.  There is no longer any such thing as ‘too much information,’” she scolded him when he complained), Bolin was at last in the clear to leave.

“Just so you know, I won’t be available for a while,” he told Eska.  “I have to go job hunting for the next few days.”  He made a face.

“But you will be at the Avatar’s relocation gala?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I suppose Desna and I shall encounter you then.”

“Yep!” Bolin said cheerfully.  He felt proud of himself as the door closed.  He had tackled some adulting, and he hadn’t messed it up!

[andtheniwrotemarvel]

Happy Birthday, I Guess?

dad!Coulson x Reader

Assumed female reader

Word Count: 1863

If any of y'all follow my blog @babycoulson then this has some spoilers for my plans with love interests and storylines and such. Thanks to Wattpad user berryninjago for this prompt!

"You know *cough cough* most kids get money or something like that for their birthday. Not two in the gut."

"Birthday missions are usually so much more fun," you complained. "Like the time I went to Greece for my eighteenth birthday? Party. Oh, and when we went to Disneyland for my twenty-first birthday? Incredible. That wasn't really a mission, though."

"It kind of was. Fury classified it as a Level 7 excursion," your father said. "Just keep talking to us, okay? Fifteen more minutes is all I'm asking."

"I don't know if I have fifteen in me, but okay, whatever you want," you obliged.  "Let's see, what did I do for my nineteenth birthday?"

"Ten minutes until we land at the Lighthouse," May called back through the quinjet.

"Ten now? Wow, she's speeding," you remarked. "She doesn't generally do that unless it's an emergency."

"This is an emergency, (Y/N)," Daisy reminded you. "You're kind of bleeding out."

"Really? No way, I was too distracted by the blinding pain to notice the blood," you replied, a sarcastic edge to your voice.

"Tell us about your nineteenth birthday," Daisy said.

"That was a fun birthday," you recalled. "Got to explore the Grand Canyon right after we took care of Thor down in New Mexico. Shut down some supernatural artifact trading in Flagstaff. A good time all around."

"Did you go on a mission for your twentieth birthday, too?" Daisy asked.

"Absolutely. Maria and my dad had been sent on an undercover mission for reasons that I'm still not quite sure of--"

"I think Fury just wanted to have us show how undercover is best done," Phil said. "Paperwork included."

"That's nice, Dad. As I was saying, they were sent on an undercover mission, and I convinced Fury to send me along with them, acting as their daughter, which, I mean, wasn't too hard for me, considering I am actually my father's daughter," you mused. "I wish I could have seen 'Ria's face when she found out when I was going with them, though."

"It was spectacular," your father filled in. "She was incredibly frustrated.”

"I love how she pretends to hate me. I don't think she'd be able to get on with her life if she found out that something awful happened to me."

"Keep her in mind, then, why don't you? Try not to die for us?" Daisy suggested.

"If you insist," you sighed. "Let's see, I already told you that I got to go to Disney for my twenty-first birthday. That was my last birthday before SHIELD revealed itself to be a cover for Hydra. My twenty-second birthday was when Trip finally caved and asked me out."

"You would not believe how long it took to convince him to do that," Daisy chuckled, readjusting her right arm, which was holding down a thick cloth over your bleeding abdomen.

You gasped involuntarily. "Wow, that stings!" you cried, your voice an octave higher than normal.

"Sorry," Daisy apologized, a sympathetic look on her face. "I know how bad being shot sucks."

"I'm just thinking, you know--" you coughed violently-- "most kids get money or something like that for their birthday. Not two in the gut."

"You're not really a kid anymore, (Y/N). You're twenty-five years old," Daisy pointed out.

"Twenty-six," you and your father corrected her simultaneously.

"Five minutes," May announced.

"Okay, yeah, just five more minutes. Five more minutes," you repeated to yourself. "Wow, I am in a lot of pain. Y'all mind if I just close my eyes for a second?" Even as you said those words, your eyes fluttered shut of their own accord.

A wave of panicked protests came from Daisy and your father, but you couldn't make out any of the words they were saying. Everything was fuzzy and indistinct until one phrase from your father brought everything into focus again.

"Steve is waiting for you."

You latched onto that and brought yourself back from the darkness you were slipping into. "Steve," you said. Steve was waiting for you back at the Lighthouse. If you came back dead, he'd kill you.

"Steve, that's right," Daisy followed up, squeezing your hand. "Captain freaking America needs you to come back and stay alive for him."

"You know," Phil began, "Steve and I had a pretty interesting conversation before we left."

You forced your eyes open, and Daisy and your father let out a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry, what now? What kind of interesting conversation?"

"Ah, see, I knew that'd get your attention," he teased you. "It's really not for me to talk to you about. I'm sure he'll fill you in when we get back."

"Oh my gosh, he's going to pop the freaking question, isn't he?"

"No, stop, you're not supposed to guess!"

"Oh, sorry, I mean--gee, what on earth could my boyfriend of two years have been talking to my dad about?" you scoffed. "It's a real mystery to me, gosh. Thanks for ruining the surprise."

"Yeah, I may not have thought that one through very clearly, but it got you alert," he shrugged.

"Okay, okay, point Coulson Senior."

"Twenty-third," Daisy interjected.

"Oh, boy, did I have a twenty-third birthday? That whole year after Trip died was just a huge mess and I don't remember a lot of it. Next?"

"Come on, (Y/N), you don't remember your twenty-third birthday?" Daisy pushed.

"Not particularly well, no."

"That was the one where we went out and celebrated with all of the girls, remember?"

"Oh, that twenty-third birthday!" you exclaimed, finally recalling. "Bobbi got so drunk that we had to call Mack to take her back to base. Where and when did she even find alcohol? You guys all promised that you wouldn't drink that night."

"You know as much as I do," she admitted. "Bobbi always had her ways."

"No doubt," you agreed.

"Twenty-fourth," Phil said.

You could feel the quinjet beginning to land; you wouldn't have to hold out much longer.

"Steve took me out. It was one of the few days that I had free from looking for you, Quaker Oats," you said, giving Daisy a pointed look. "That's also when I told him that my dad was actually brought back to life with alien soup. He actually took it a lot better than I thought he would."

"How did you think he would react?" Daisy asked.

The quinjet landed, and you could hear people rushing to greet you.

"Lowkey rage monster," you said. "And he was like that for a little bit, but then he just sat down with his head in his hands and said 'I don't know why I'm surprised, honestly. I've witnessed weirder at this point.'"

"Are you telling them about when you told me about your dad?" Your pained grimace involuntarily grew into a smile when you heard Steve's sudden voice.

"Oh my gosh, that's actually Captain America," Daisy whispered. "Like, I never doubted she was dating him, but he's real and standing right in front of me. And he has a beard now?" She looked at Phil for some form of confirmation, and he shrugged simply, wearing his trademark blank smile.

"They were making me keep talking and it came up," you said to your boyfriend. You turned your head and met his worried blue eyes. "What can I say? I missed you."

"You weren't even gone for twenty-four hours," he countered. "Why do these things happen the second we're separated?"

"What things? The telling of semi-embarrassing stories or the injuries? You have to be more specific, love."

Steve smiled involuntarily as well, and ducked his shaking head. "All of the above, doll."

"Oh my word, she just called him love, and he just called her doll," Daisy muttered to herself. Then, to the two of you, she said, "You two are going to make my heart explode if you keep being so cute, so you'd better stop and get Jemma working on (Y/N)."

"Yeah, we need to act fast. Here, I'm going to lift you up and set you on this...stretcher thing over here, okay? Count of three," Steve warned you, sliding his arms underneath you. "One...two--"

You sucked in a gasp and suppressed a scream through your clenched teeth as you were lifted and placed gently down. "Why does this hurt so much worse than the last time I was shot in the stomach, huh?" you grunted.

"You lost consciousness last time," Phil answered. "That's coming up on five years now, isn't it?"

"I'd give it a solid four and a half," you estimated.

"Also you got shot twice this time," Daisy added.

"That's gotta play a part, too," Steve agreed, beginning to push you out of the quinjet and into the Lighthouse. "Dang it, doll, why'd you have to go and ruin my plans for your birthday?"

"It wasn't my fault that someone other than SHIELD finally learned how to aim a gun," you argued. "But yeah, other than that, this was all one hundred percent intentional on my part. For sure. Totally. Why? Because why not, you know? Why not ruin my boyfriend's secret plans that I didn't even know existed."

"Okay, I get it. Not your fault," he conceded.

"Dang straight, boy."

"IS THAT CAPTAIN AMERICA?!" a voice called from deep inside a room you were passing.

"Oh, no, not again," Steve groaned.

"Again? Who's been pestering you?" you asked Steve. No one that you knew matched that obnoxious voice.

"CAPTAIN AMERICA, WAIT!" A series of metallic crashes preceded a wild-haired and -eyed man bursting out of the room to follow you, Steve, Daisy, and your father as you all made your way quickly down to Jemma's makeshift lab.

"Deke, stop, not right now!" Daisy attempted to brush him off, talking to him as if he were a little kid.

"But it's Captain America!" Deke protested. "And, woah, is that your daughter, Coulson? She's gorgeous!" His already wide eyes became wider as he looked at Steve's stormy expression. "But, not like, too gorgeous, you know? Like, I'd never make a move or anything like that."

"Thin ice, Deke," Steve growled.

"What's wrong with her?" Deke asked, switching subjects abruptly.

"She got shot, okay? Now go occupy yourself with something else," Daisy said, clearly annoyed.

"You got shot?" he asked you. "Man, I know what that's like. It really sucks. Little bit of advice? Make sure your real friends are the one giving you those painkillers. You might say some things or make some confessions that you don't want certain people to hear."

"The heck is wrong with this guy? Are you high or something?" you questioned.

"I'm sure there will be time to get you and Deke properly acquainted later," Phil intervened. You had arrived at Jemma's lab, and Daisy was filling her in on the details of what had happened."Listen, Deke, she needs Jemma's attention now, and you're kind of a distraction."

"Kind of?" Steve scoffed.

"What I need you to do is make sure the birthday decorations are all set to move down to the recovery area. Can you handle that?" Phil continued.

"Oh, wait, that's right! It's her birthday!" Deke exclaimed. "Hey, uh, happy birthday, I guess?"

Tag List: @shamvictoria11 @cookies186 @sweeneytoddler @shuriwithparker

[starlit-havens]

Hmm... if you're doing prompts (i love everything you've written so far btw!) then how about one where the egos all think one of them (you choose which one) has died, but it turns out they were totally fine all along. (I'm picturing this as light and funny, but I could see a mix of fluff or angst dropped in there somewhere.) Thanks! :D

(Happy to comply! Thank you for the prompt :D)

“Yo, Schneep, dude? I can’t find Jackaboy Man.” Chase poked his head into the doctor’s room, rubbing his neck worriedly as he looked over his shoulder. “I checked all over the house and he’s just not there.”

“Oh, zhe supah hero? I sent heem ovah to Iplier HQ,” Dr. Schneeplestein waved his hand dismissively, writing notes down on his computer at an ungodly speed. Upon closer inspection, Chase realized that he was writing everything with his own signature accent.

“Uh, why over there? Bro, there’s… people there. He hates people,” Chase responded quizzically.

  “Dr. Iplier vanted to try and figure out how Jack can do zhe flying,” the good doctor explained. “For research. Zhat reminds me, I need to know vhen I shood pick heem up.”

“I can do that, then. See ya, dude,” Chase dabbed and ducked out of the doorframe, closing the door behind him. Turning to the kitchen, he tried to throw a teabag at the phone to knock it off its charging station. When that didn’t work, he sighed and picked it up, dialing the number of Iplier HQ.

“Iplier HQ, how can I help you?” A voice sounded from the other end of the line.

“Yo, it’s Chase. Can I talk to Dr. Iplier?” Chase asked, piling his teabags on top of each other to make a teetering castle.

“Yes you can. I’ll patch you through. This is Oliver, by the way. Could you tell?” Becoming more excited, the robot’s voice glitched in a similar fashion to Anti.

Chase shuddered. “No, I couldn’t, dude! You sound so profresh,” he answered after a moment, grinning as he heard the robot beep in confusion.

“Searching for ‘profesh’. Did you mean ‘you sound so profess?’” Oliver asked.

“Ah, never mind.”

“Deleting search. Please hold.”

Chase blew down his teabag castle and started to fiddle with his nerf gun clip.

“Dr. Iplier speaking.”

“Yo, doc! It’s Chase. Just checking to see when I should pick up Jackie!” Chase lifted his head, bumping his head on the kitchen cabinets. Pressing his lips together, he stumbled out of the way and glared at the cabinet.

“I’m sorry…he’s dying.”

Chase stopped, clutching the bump on his head. “What?”

“I know this may come as a shock, and there’s really no easy way to say this, but Jackaboy Man is dying. Oh, he just died.” The doctor sighed.

Chase tried to speak but no words would come out.

“I’ll just… I’ll leave you alone to your thoughts,” Dr. Iplier said, and hung up.

Setting down the phone, Chase trudged to the recording room where Jack was. Holding back tears, he knocked on the door.

“Come in!” Was the response. Chase opened the door, seeing Jack’s face fall as he took off his headphones and noticed the Ego’s look of sorrow. “Hey, Chase, are you okay?”

“Dude… Jackaboy is dead!” Chase exclaimed, a tear rolling down his cheek as he put a hand to his mouth, letting out shaking sobs.

“…what?” Jack demanded, jumping up from his chair. “Jackie’s dead?!”

Marvin’s door flew open as he heard the ruckus. “Are you serious?!”

Chase nodded, turning to look at the magician in grief. Marv closed his mouth and blinked in shock.

Jack shook his head. “Woah woah woah, what happened?”

Chase pointed to the kitchen. “I called the doctor- he was at Iplier HQ and Dr. Iplier was doing a test on him and he just died, bro!”

Holding up his hands, Jack scoffed. “Wait. Did Mark’s doctor Ego tell you that?”

Chase nodded.

Jack stomped over to the kitchen, the two Egos in tow. Glitching into the kitchen, Anti appeared, resting his elbows on the counter and leaning forwards. “Something the matter?” He shrieked, smiling deviously.

“Jackie’s dead, Anti!” Chase moaned, rubbing his eyes at an attempt not to cry.

Anti’s happy look disappeared. “Well, that’s not fair. I didn’t even get to kill him,” he muttered, disappointed. 

Jack ignored the talk and picked up the phone, dialing the phone.

“Iplier HQ, how may I help you? I said may instead, I think that adds more of a polite tone.” Oliver sounded pleased with himself.

“Ollie, patch me through to the doctor.” Jack was in no mood for games. His eyebrows were furrowed in an angry look, mouth small with fury.

Without another word, the yellow robot hit a few buttons and the doctor’s voice came on the line. “Dr. Iplier speaking.”

“Hey, Doc. It’s Jack. What the fuck is your problem?” Jack wasted no time in getting to the point, fingers drumming an aggressive beat on the counter. Anti backed away from the counter, deigning instead to sit on one of the kitchen chairs. 

“Language, Jack. What seems to be the problem?” Dr. Iplier responded absentmindedly.

“Doc! You gotta stop telling people that everyone’s dying all the time! Is it a nervous tick? Because you need to say that when it happens! You made everyone here have a nervous breakdown because they thought poor Jackie had died!” Jack snapped. Behind him, Chase stopped crying. Wiping his hands on his shirt, he looked at Jack, confused. Marvin looked from one Ego to the other, trying to determine what was happening.

“My… my apologies, Jack. I’ll send the superhero home right away. Bye now,” the doctor stammered. His voice became far away as he yelled, “Jackaboy! We’re going back to your place now. I’ll get Green to drive you. Again, I’m so sorry,” he reiterated, his voice closer to the phone now.

“If anything like this happens again, I will be getting in touch with Mark,” Jack warned, the bite in his voice dying down. The doctor apologized again, embarrassed, and hung up.

“Gee, Jack, didn’t know you had it in you,” Anti laughed from his place at the table, narrowing his eyes at the green-haired man with subtle interest.

“Hey, I don’t care if you do anything to me, Anti. But mess with my bouncing baby boys-” Jack ruffled Chase and Marvin’s hair, smiling- “or any of the community, and I will personally make sure hell rains down upon you.”

“Good to know,” Anti mused, getting up and dematerializing with a grin. Jack rolled his eyes at where the dramatic Ego had stood.

Chase sighed in relief. “Well, thank you for clearing that up, dude. That was the most terrifying thing to happen in my entire LIFE!” Marvin nodded in subdued agreement.

Suddenly, the door to the good doctor’s room swung open. “Vhat zhe fuck ees all zhe noise?” Dr. Schneeplestein demanded. “Chase, if you don’t stop zhees racket, my next Bio Inc. Redemption patient vill be you!”

Chase shared a look of mock terror with Jack. “Yikes, dude. Better get back to the basement. See you!” Waving goodbye, he charged towards to stairs, yelling, “360 NOSCOPE!” And jumped over the railing, slinging the teabags to the basement floor.

“Zis muzzafucka,” the doctor muttered, glaring at the two remaining Egos. Jack watched him shut the door, then waved goodbye to Marvin and headed back to the recording room, shaking his head with resigned amusement.

[cxruscxte--archive-blog]

300+ FOLLOWER FOREVER (Speech && mentions under the cut)

Inhales

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

OK BUT

WHAT ???

I can’t believe I already have 300 followers!!! I don’t think I can say anything more that I haven’t said in my last follower forever. I love every single one of you to no absolute end, you guys! It’s a stupid thing to say, but I do not think highly of my portrayal of Angie, she’s much sadder than she should be hahaa,, but all of you have done such a great job of making me feel better about it, like following me or wanting to interact with me. All of it makes me feel like my Angie isn’t as bad as I think it is! You’re all absolute sweeties and I keep making more friends as time passes. It feels amazing here, even if I do encounter a few bumps along the way!

I know I take a long time to make replies and I probably should be writing up ask replies instead of doing yet another follower forever, but oh WELL WHAT CAN YA DO

Like before, I’ll tag a few of my good acquaintances (BC I DON’T KNOW IF YA’LL CONSIDER ME A FRIEND–) and pat their backs virtually for being nice to me.

BUT BEFORE I DO SHOUT OUT TO MY NON-RP FRIEND

@bettynayo | BBY I LOVE YOU ??? YOU’RE LIKE THE ONLY PERSON I’M GONNA CALL A FRIEND HERE BC I’M FAIRLY CERTAIN WE’RE FRIENDS HHHA—I’LL NEVER FORGET THAT FAITHFUL NIGHT YOU SENT ME THAT DRAWING OF KOA AND I ACTUALLY STARTED CRYING??? I will literally never get over that ok, your art is super beautiful and I love it and I love you most importantly and you’re like always there and hHHH A A we totally need to do a skype call someday bc we can sing Hamilton songs I’ll scream “TO THE GROOM” at you bc that’s the only line I know out of the hour I listened (That’s a lie, I can probably sing You’ll Be Back from memory) you’re my Shinnaga, musical, Kenichi Suzumura, relatable daily struggle™ and most importantly – my hentai art friend and I absolutely love you ok REMEMBER THAT LET’S NEVER STOP TALKING MY DUDE IN 60 YEARS WE CAN BOTH SIT ON BENCHES OUTSIDE IN OUR OWN ENDS, FEEDING THE PIGEONS AND CHATTING ON FUTURISTIC TUMBLR

Ok now that this little shite is over with FOR MY MAIN ROLEPLAY BNITCHES

@zxtsubxu | I felt like I had to mention you first idk why. YOU MAKE ME FEEL PAIN—literally let’s just kill each other with angst,, I love your writing and I never thought that ?? I could ship ??? Mastermind Eggo and Idorru Anggg ??? LITERALLY WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME (jkjk Ily)

@mxgicxlrxd | HI GIN ur a good Himiko and we never actually had a thread but oH WELL HAH A maybe one day when we both manage to finish our replies. But for real tho, I absolutely love you, you’re really great and UR THE SHIT UR MY HIMIKO UR A GOOD I LO VE Y O U BEEEEPIPIPI

@not-a-suspicious-guy | Goldy, MY DUDE- I have to make you a reply im sorry omg don’t hurt me,, but okay really, you’re like a super great Amami and your writing is top notch™ PLUS UM ??? YOUR ART ??? WHAT THE HELL GOALS ???? listen, you actually made me love Amami even more than I did before and I don’t understand,, let us both sit in a problematic chair position as we pray to our one and only lord Ran Through A Mommy (remind me to marry u in 8 years btw)

@kxaito | NGL I ALMOST FORGOT TO MENTION YOU I’M ADDING YOU LAST MINUTE—I was like “GASP SHIT PEYTON–” it’s no follower forever without everyone’s favorite Kaito ; ) you’re really nice and like I hope we’re both gazing at the same stars right now ah our love shan’t die—what am I even talking abt soRR Y SORRY UR THE STAR BAE and your Kaito is so ?? good ??? if it wasn’t for you I’d probably wouldn’t be wallowing in despair for Kaito rn GEE THANKS

@pseudxcode | WE’VE NEVER HAD A THREAD EITHER OOP but ur great, ur art is great, please, if I talk good shit abt u will you let me kill all the magical girls and present their corpses to Chihiro (JKJK) srsly tho, your Chihiro ??? more like GOOD SHIT™ and we should probably make an actual thread ( ; ) magical gals)

@hcnorcoded | UM AHRI AHRI A H R  I !!!!! MY FIRST FRIEND!!!! THANK ! YOU ! FOR ! EXISTING ! You’re an absolute beauty and so is your Ishimaru, I love you x25 and just ?? just ??? kudos for being such a beautiful human being and actually taking your time and talking to Living Breathing Trash Can Em,, I’ll be the Rin to ur Pana (KAYOCHIN)

@positivepianist | POSI YOU ARE MY GOLDEN HUED SWEETHEART AND I JUST ?????????????? BNITCH WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD TO EVERYONE ?????? whY ARE YOU SO GOOD TO ME WHAT ??? I don’t deserve your super duper preciousness and you totally deserve the love people give you and the more you apologize the more I’m like “the hell are you apologizing for you’re the best human here you’re super puRE DO NO T” I want to hug you a lot you seem so huggable + ur Kaede is just the best Kaede and I just I WANT TO HUG UR KAEDE TOO

@docilexdisguises | DEST YOU LITERALLY JUST MADE A FOLLOWER FOREVER THANK U FOR MENTIONING ME AND LIKE LISTEN the world needs to know abt the Ikea thing we have. Magical girl group verse ??? nah that’s shit. Lost in Ikea group verse??? HERE’S WHAT’S MCHECKING LIT FAM THAT’S THE SHIT MAKE IT KNOWN – no but seriously, your Tsumugi is great, it made me warm up to the actual Cosplay Trash no matter how infuriated she makes me feel lma o—

@relixum (and ur other blogs im too lazy to mention) | it us !! the uncoolest kiddo squad !!! I haven’t talked to u in like a week and I feel bad for doing that lmao oops—but seriously, I love your writing !!! your Hinata is the perfect Hinata and I love how you portray him ??? idk what it is buT YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOUR HINATA SPECIAL !!! Maybe it’s because ur a special human too hohoho—alright but seriously (ALSO IMMA MENTION IN EVERY FOLLOWER FOREVER BUT THE SALT && PEPPPER AU–)

@ahogerobotto | at this point, all my compliments are drained and idk what to say anymore and AAAAAA—Sai, your Beep Boop Robotto is super good and you too are super great and I swear to god, you’re making me love Kiibo more like I just ??? uGH AAAA I blame you for my emotional pain for Kiibo hahA

And now, a line-up of Shinguuji’s

@hominumfabula | RIGHT UH I HAVEN’T SAID HI TO YOU IN AGES BUT YOU’RE STILL A SUPERB GUUJI and u too are a superb human being, you’re nice and you’re a meme and idk what else to say you’re a Golden Trash Can™ I can’t keep coming up with new shit abt u, ur just rlly good and remember that ok

@xshinguuji | there’s too many Shinguuji’s for me to even talk abt anything extra hhO—buT SERIOUSLY you’re super good and you’re a real sweetie ???? I’d hug you as much as I’d hug Posi tbh and I’d also hug your Guuji ??? he’s a sweet boi™ (probably takes it from the equally sweet mun

@shinguvji | confession time, I actually just spent 20 seconds trying to remember your url name bc I’m typing it all in word and I just ??? “wait what’s Iggy’s Guuji url heck” but seriously I just ??? I’m sorry about Foodfight, I’m sorry you have to live through that bullshit bUT I’M NEVER GONNA LET YOU LIVE IT DOWN AFAFSAFSDAS srsly tho your Guuji’s great, you’re great, I’d let you be my bath demon any day and I’ll share all my Kappa facts with you

BABES I FEEL LIKE I DON’T TALK TO ENOUGH AND I FEEL LIKE I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO CALL YA’LL MY GOOD BNITCHES BUT MAYBE IN THE FUTURE—

@malchancevilain | ARE WE FRIENDS OR ???? Idk I like you and we need to meme around more and make like 1252835923582 inside jokes so I’d be like “OH LOOK IT’S A GOOD TOGAMEME” and I mean you’re still a good togameme BUT ARE WE LIKE ACQUAINTED ENOUGH FOR ME TO SAY THAT WITHOUT BEING WEIRD OR—OK BUT SERIOUSLY thanks for like thinking of literally everything for the magical girl verse thank u bby

@snappshot // @cantatory | ok so RIVAL GROUP ASDASDAasf we need to plot more so I could write that magical girl starter for u aaaaaaaaaa—ok but rlly ur great, ur muses are great, we need to talk more hhhaaha

@nullverum | im too lazy to mention ur oc blog bye- BUT INHALES – YOU’RE T OXI C I’M SL I PP ING UND E R srsly ur good keep being a meme

@gambogeish | I WASN’T SURE WHICH CATEGORY YOU BELONG TO AAAAA but seriously, I enjoy talking to you and hhh thank you for the beautiful image of Saihara with a magical girl skirt (Marilyn Monroe vent scene with Saihara tho haha wink wonk)

@thirdtimemasterpiece | hhHH I DON’T KNOW IF I SHOULD CONSIDER YOU A SUPER FRIEND HH—BC I CONSIDER EVERYONE A SUPER FRIEND BUT IM NOT SU R E – but ok uh thanks for getting the MH theme permanently stuck in my head ??? // your Angie is good tho u are the senpai I shall learn from you

HEY HO I THINK THAT’S ALL ????