#oh behalf of my younger self FUCK S*A

[theofreakingbell]

thinking abt how a lot of the songs I clung to as I was first figuring out my survivorhood are stuff I don't even wanna look at anymore because of the horrific stuff the artist did and I cannot find the same sort of catharsis and strength in them and want nothing to do with her is uh. ow

[hiscrimsonangel]

(Small update for ‘24…)

Some basics for you about Scarlet ( to hopefully save some time though a lot is above)

My name is Scarlet or Scar to some for short. I am over 21- a Leo- pronouns are she/her (and sometimes the Royal “We” if I feel a little bratty). Simply put, I am just a pansexual metalhead woman with a few kinks, a few tats here and there, and a piercing or 3, that will sometimes carry a D20 for luck and always embraces my beautifully weird self and doesn’t mind flying her nerdy freak flag proudly. It’s what makes me me after all. Oh and I also communicate at times with music- it speaks sometimes when mere words fail. …and yes ADHD is also a factor so sometimes I babble a bit, working on correcting that, personally I think it helps me with my artistic endeavors, the ADHD not the talking a lot.

IMPORTANT! Absolutely NO MINORS ALLOWED! 18+ ONLY - I will block little shits or send them to Mordor depending on the mood I am in. I am not a babysitter- my last name is NOT Harrington.

If you send an ANON ask with no age attached to it I probably won’t answer you just so you know.

Oh and if you follow me and have zero posts and info? Yah- consider yourself blocked. Save us both time, k? Thanks. (Stupid fucking bots)

This is predominantly a ST/EM RP blog so while I may reblog posts and follow some people cuz I like their writing and yah there are quite a few and they are fucking awesome, I will post various things in that sort of RP vein…. My main verse and heart’s song is @emthebanished ( there is magic all around you, Eddie my love …💋 )

In reality, quite honestly, I don’t debate about all the “ship” BS- I absolutely adore Eddie Munson in ALL his glory. There is a reason he struck a chord with so many, and why his fan base is a devoted one. I am here to have fun, relax and celebrate the fanfics, imagines and art that has been done for my favorite show since 2016 and my very favorite character from said show that seemingly was always in the background, but we never got to meet til May 2022. Just watch ST seasons 1-3 and you will see his younger self floating by in the background. I swear it’s him… the curls, dark eyes and denim give him away…

I or my admin will add more or revamp this as I go probably but this is a good start. The Admin who lends a hand is in her late 20’s and if she ever posts anything it will be in // at the front and simply will be referred to as “CrimsonAdmin”. I don’t have time to continuously block bots, she lends a hand… she may answer questions too, but questions to her please use the // -ok?

And feel free to ask questions- but make sure you aren’t afraid of the answers! Ha ha! And again, if you ask ANON with no age, I probably won’t answer as this really is an adults only space, k?

Lastly, Please Remember….

This is Munson’s world- seriously, it is- we simply live in it…. (He’ll get humble about it, on his behalf I won’t tho… “it’s just the facts “ as Erica would say..)

Now then, Thanks for reading all this drivel babble stuff that is kinda important… now please- Carry on…

See y’all! 🤘🏼

Scarlet (Emerson) Munson- Hawkins, Indiana

[springday-aus]

Superpower!AU with Hyungwon

—

Group: Monsta X

Member: Chae Hyungwon

Genre: fluff, romance, small [very minimal] angst

TW: car accident - don’t worry, no one died 

Type: Bulletpoint AU 

Word Count: approx. 2.8k

→ Inspired by the AU Prompt: “I know you can read minds and I really like you so I’m constantly filtering my thoughts—stop making fun of how I think of fighting giraffes, it’s my go-to when I think about you shirtless” 

so Hyungwon has the power of telepathy

how he got it was rather odd

he wasn’t necessarily born with it—it kind of came to him

despite what people might think, it wasn’t radioactivity

it was actually due to an accident

when he was young, there was a minor encounter

basically, there was a car and semi-truck incident

next thing he knew, his parents were in critical condition and he was being rolled into the ER for surgery

when he woke up, he was in his hospital bed and the ventilator was hooked up to him

he heard the voices of the nurses and the doctors, but their mouths weren’t moving

originally he brushed it off since he hasn’t fully recovered and his vision kept going in and out

but once he did recover… he could still hear them

luckily, his parents were okay

and that was how he was able to confirm his new-found power

he was able to hear theirs first and it was…. insane

he was freaked out, his parents were freaked out 

once they calmed down, they tried to figure out what to do—they eventually came to the conclusion to just let it happen

they can’t control that so they might as well figure it out together 

at first, it was uncontrollable, so he heard these voices whether or not he wanted to hear them

it was always loud and his own thoughts were never heard in his own head

oh, the amount of migraines he’d gotten from a young age…

but, don’t worry, he learned to maintain it as he grew up

now, he’s able to listen whenever he looks at someone and concentrate a bit more

he’s got a better control of it, but it also means he has to be careful as to where he looks bc he doesn’t wanna listen in on someone’s private thoughts

he’s always been getting in trouble when he was trying not to get in trouble when it comes to his telepathy

that tends to happen a lot in general though

because you’re hearing a lot of thoughts that you’re not trying to hear

which is why music became a good route of distraction

at first, the monsta x boys made fun of him for not getting airpods, but, after telling them about his telepathy, they understood why he got those big ass headphones

but, we’ll get to them later

anyways

bruh, high school was extra rough on this man

can you imagine hearing all of those thoughts? especially of hormonal teenage boys?

nasty

anyways

I like to think that this is why he sleeps so much

when he first got it, it was very emotionally draining for him and he slept like twelve hours at a time

unfortunately, he got into this habit and now he can doze off if he zones out enough

he slept a lot in high school, considering that he was trying not to hear his teacher’s thoughts and the other students and focus on the lesson and would end up falling asleep on his desk and then getting in trouble with the teachers

again, it’s that whole getting in trouble without meaning to get into trouble

so anyways

his family are the main people who know and god

the amount of family tea he’s gotten from his parents’ thoughts

while he does hate being able to hear all these thoughts without a choice, his favorite is the family gatherings and reunions

homeboy could make a tv novella with all the information he’s got on his family

because his immediate family are the ones who know, whereas his cousin that’s like twice removed doesn’t, but that’s justifiable

also, his parents have to be careful when they’re talking about him or his younger brother tho

(Hyungwon: “dad, am I not your favorite?”

his dad: “I don’t have have favorites”

Hyungwon: “the lies”)

other than his family, his long time friends also know, i.e. the monsta x boys

I’m talking long term because he’s so comfortable with them and Hyungwon was stupid and let it slip

Jooheon: I know we agreed on Chinese but I kind of wanted pizza

Hyungwon: “we can get both if you want”

Jooheon: “get what?”

Hyungwon: wait a second

oh, whenever they play games, Hyungwon uses this telepathy to help him cheat

and Changkyun was suspicious of how Hyungwon, the guy who falls asleep 20 minutes into a movie, had such good gaming tactics

his suspicions were confirmed when Hyungwon told them but they all also lowkey were confused and didn’t believe him, altho it did fill in a few of the gaps

like how Hyungwon gives perfect gifts for people that they can actually use

and how he can easily solve issues before they can even become bigger issues

there were just bits and pieces that came together and he did get to prove it

Kihyun: “what am I thinking about?”

Hyungwon: “I don’t think you would want me to say it in front of our Minhyuk here”

Kihyun: …… “okay, you pass”

but revealing this also means a lot of questions

especially from Minhyuk, who’s bouncing around and is curious as to how it works

and isn’t like always being verbally asked

like, the questions will just pop into their heads and Hyungwon hears it

actually what he hears is

Minhyuk: can he hear animal thoughts?

Minhyuk: do they speak English? or do they speak in that animal sound?

Minhyuk: should I ask him? or am I going to be bothering him?

Minhyuk: okay, try to be casual and slip it in and-

Hyungwon: “I can only hear people’s thoughts, now can we please get on with the meal?”

Minhyuk: oh right he can hear mine

Hyungwon: “YES I CAN HEAR IT PLEASE BE QUIET”

Wonho: …. “what’s going on????”

this is why he favors you compared to the others

you’re curious, but not like super curious like Minhyuk

but it’s also because your thoughts are the most hilarious ones

it’s primarily because you censor a lot of your thoughts with other thoughts and they are….. eccentric

there’s a reason tho

long story short: you like him

you two are basically childhood friends

you met in middle school and woke him up before he could get in trouble and it was all history from there

it wasn’t until around the college years that the feeling hit you like a ton of bricks

and when it did hit, you were lucky Hyungwon wasn’t around to read your thoughts

because……... oof

he went from that kid with acne that you used to spray water at to keep awake

to a handsome young man that makes your heart pound so loudly in your chest

he had told you about these powers of his about a year into college, when he realized you weren’t going to disappear from his life so easily

but also because you were thinking about how the fbi is definitely listening in on your conversations because you got an ad on instagram about those sleeping bags that make it look like you were being eaten by a shark and he HAD to make a comment

Hyungwon: “dude what the fuck”

You: “what?”

Hyungwon: “how bad is your anxiety that you’re worried about the fbi agent in your phone?”

You: …… **narrows eyes** “I didn’t say anything about an fbi agent”

Hyungwon: ah shit, here we go again

anyways

that’s just a small glimpse of what Hyungwon has to hear

your thoughts were hilarious to tune into, to the point where Hyungwon listens in when you’re daydreaming and it’s like his news for the day

and it only got worse (at least for you) because you were constantly censoring your thoughts after your self-discovery of your feelings for him

you two were studying in the library one time for finals and he got real close to get a good look at the textbook to see where you were

and you couldn’t stop thinking about how close he was

but when he looked at you

you immediately switched your thoughts to think about that time Wonho choked on his ramen noodles

Hyungwon: “why are you thinking about Wonho choking?”

You: “because it’s funny?”

Hyungwon: …… “fair point”

and so now, you have something to turn to each time an incident happens

whenever he says something that makes your heart flutter, you think about Ted Bundy’s yellow buggy

whenever he makes you unconsciously jealous, you think about fat cats sitting on glass tables

you have something for everything

and Hyungwon has no idea because you’ve gotten so fucking good at hiding it

until one day, you were out with the boys, trying out this new restaurant that opened beside the river

Jooheon talks about how nice it would be nice to go to the beach sometime

Shownu tries to start plans and says y’all could plan a barbeque and make a whole trip out of it

but then Kihyun whines, saying he’s not ready because he hasn’t gone to the gym in a month

Wonho: “you haven’t gone to the gym period”

Kihyun: “better than me living there like you do”

Wonho: “and who’s the one with the abs?”

Kihyun: “son of a bitch”

that got you thinking

Hyungwon? on the beach? that means he’s just gonna chill on the side

but that also means….. a shirtless Hyungwon

Shownu: “what do you think (y/n)?”

You: “nothing, absolutely nothing”

Hyungwon looks over at you with a knowing look in his eyes

You: “what?”

Hyungwon: ………….. “why are you thinking about fighting giraffes?”

Minhyuk: “.... is that really what (y/n)’s thinking?”

Changkyun: “dude”

You: “sorry for thinking about the zoo?”

Hyungwon: “we were talking about the beach, why were you thinking about the zoo?”

You: god, I wanna die

Hyungwon: “well, are you going to die before or after the beach trip?”

Shownu: “we need to keep track of the body count, (y/n), this is important” 

sometimes you also wonder why you like him when these moments occur

but then he gives you that smile and you think to yourself

it do be like that 

and because you all are trying to plan out the beach trip, you couldn’t stop thinking about…. shirtless Hyungwon

therefore 

starts up more thoughts about fighting giraffes ensue

and more teasing on behalf of Hyungwon to you

Hyungwon: “do you wanna go to the zoo instead???? is that why you keep thinking about these giraffes????”

You: I. want. to. die.

Hyungwon: “you’ll die if you join the fighting giraffes—oW OWW OKAY I’LL SHUT UP”

the nonstop teasing for weekkkkkksss

until he finally asks you, the day before the trip

Hyungwon: “seriously, are you upset that we went out to the beach instead of the zoo?”

You: ugh, this whole ass man keeps making fun of me for thinking about fighting giraffes, this is your fault for being so fucking attract-

You: WONH O CHOKI NG ON RAMEN

Hyungwon: “WHOA NO FINISH YOUR THOUGHT”

You: NO

You: WONHO. CHOKING. LALALALLALA-

you avoided him for the rest of the day and filled your head with more censored thoughts

so he couldn’t hear anything else

and he didn’t

homeboy was left so confused because

he really likes having you as a friend but

having you as a partner would be so much better

he’s liked you since high school

hearing your thought process and little quirks

he grew fond of them

he knows it’s really invasive, but, in his defense, he was still learning to control them

and he found himself staring at you more and more, accidentally hearing your thoughts

one thing he really hated about his power is that even when he’s just taking in your presence………… he can still hear it even if he doesn’t try to

but anyways

he was sure of his feelings, but didn’t wanna push anything until he was absolutely sure

and now just might be that chance

so, after ducking him the entire day, which is hard to do when he’s trying to find you the entire day

(it’s not that hard considering all he hears from you is “FBI AGENTS GET OUT”)

(at least, that’s what you were trying to think so he doesn’t hear anything else about how you were going to explain yourself)

and he manages to catch you when the boys set up a bonfire and there’s no other spots…… except the one next to Hyungwon

which he totally, 100% did not plan

;)

anyways, you try to distract yourself by focusing your attention the marshmallow you have roasting over the fire

whereas he’s trying to read your mind, but it goes to waste as your attention is solely focused on the marshmallow

hence the tune of IU’s Marshmallow being played in your head

some of the other guys leave the bonfire, either to take a nightly beach stroll or to sleep 

and that left you, Hyungwon, and a melting marshmallow that you were trying to keep from completely burning

before you could flee though, Hyungwon speaks up

Hyungwon: “what? no fighting giraffes?”

You: “I will hit you with a flaming marshmallow”

you thought about it for a second tho, why did you think about fighting giraffes?

the boys were talking about the beach and then they talked about the trip

and the beach made you think about a shirtless Hyungwon

…………. shirtless Hyungwon

FIGHTING GIRAFFES

Hyungwon: “wait what”

You: fuck

You: “fuck”

and then your worst nightmare happens

he starts laughing

You: “sssttttoooppppppp”

You: “it’s my go-to when I think about you shirtless, okay? are you satisfied?”

he keeps laughing

Hyungwon: “do you like the image that much that you have diverted your thoughts from it?”

You: bitch

Hyungwon: “I heard that”

You: “I KNOW YOU DID” 

there’s a bit of a lull and you try to focus on your marshmallow again, but the heat on your face isn’t from the fire alone

Hyungwon: “don’t be embarrassed”

You: “I’m embarrassed because it’s you, idiot”

Hyungwon: “why?”

You: because I like you

Hyungwon: “how dumb of you to think I didn’t feel the same way”

you turn to him

You: really?”

Hyungwon: “yeah really”

Hyungwon: “your marshmallow is burning”

that’s not the only thing burning 

you both assumed that was the night that you both agreed to date

the next day, were the boys shocked that the two of you are dating?

not exactly

bc they knew Hyungwon liked you for quite some time and also the fact that whenever one of them did think you were cute….

let’s just say Hyungwon’s mouth said idc but his eyes said he could murder them and get away with it

also he trusted you enough to tell you about this secret of his, so there was definitely a high chance he was going to develop romantic feelings for you anyways

*cue a sad Minhyuk in the corner somewhere*

KIDDING

or am I

anyways

there isn’t much change to your relationship

other than additional cuddling and pecks here and now

altho there are a couple of changes

your thought processes are more clear because now you have nothing to hide but

they are also unclear because it’s like

Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hy—

he also tries more and more not to hear your thoughts, but sometimes it’s hard not to hear them, especially as he openly stares at you more and more

but then again, because of that, he’s gaining better and better control of his powers

he lowkey does use it when you get into arguments because it gives him a better understanding of your perspective and that allows him to provide his and it opens up more communication between you two, even if you don’t have telepathy

also he tried to make up for it by saying everything he’s thinking

that was a very bad idea from the start bc you got annoyed really quickly

but you also kind of sympathized with him

You: “I’m sorry you have to hear my thoughts all the time”

Hyungwon: “that’s not your fault”

You: “but that’s not yours either”

he loves being able to talk to you about these things bc it really feels like someone’s in his corner

you try to understand him better and make things easier

whether it’s getting him better headphones

or distracting him with your own obscure thoughts

I’m very sure that anyone who dates Hyungwon in general is going to nap with him so…

many many naps with him with lots and lots of cuddles

you both take care of one another, physically and mentally

especially since you know he isn’t the type that opens himself up to many people

and hearing all of these thoughts, yours and others, must be exhausting for him 

anyways in this household we love and protect Chae Hyungwon bc homeboy is just tired and needs a break 

[shesawriter39049]

|GOD SAVE THE QUEEN|M|JH|

(Does he not look like he should be scaleing a damn window?!)

SMUT/ ANGST

Pairing: Hitman Hoseok & Mob Boss OC

Genre: Mob/Mafia/Organized Crime/Drug cartels/Established/unofficial but lowkey official couple...

WC-10K (A good 3-4 of it is smut btw) 

___________________________________________________________

 “I’m going to fall a fucking part, and so will my families empire and then what!? WHO the fuck are they going to blame then!? Huh? Definitely not my damn brother, he’s too coked out to even tie his fuckign shoe laces neverthless run the family business!”

________________________________________________________________

Note- This is old...I have a TON of mob/mafia-related “Pilot” chapters as I call them..stashed in my google Docs! This is a heaverier/ agngisterst read by the way, not a downer but just heavy ya know? It works just fine as a stand alone, but by the end of it you can tell that when I initially wrote it I was setting it up to be a series! One that would eventually involve the other boys as well, so there is some backstory!

________________________________________________________________

Hoseok;s tatted, and just radiates soft dom energy…and tbh that’s all we need in this world

The OC is stressed, and needs a damn hug...the end!

Warnings: (Nonsexual- Strong language, mentions of guns, drugs/drug use and addictions, violence and mentions of chronic illness..not pertaining to Hoseok though)  

Warnings- Soft Dom Hoseok, breathe play, slight pain kink(very minimal prep before sex...by choice) overstimulation, handjobs, light come play, spit play, chill dirty talk....unprotected sex.Semi public sex-ish(in her office while the guards are outside the door...)

______________________________________________________________

Hibiscus island, Miami Florida 8PM 

‘Alright, so I’m looking at about, a half kilo of snow, hmmm, maybe a little over a quart of skag and a couple hundred Tabs of Molly…”

The line went dead on the receiving end causing the man in question to attempt the phrase again…maybe his connection was bad?

“Helll-lo? Boss I said I-”

“I heard you. Was there a an actual question in there somewhere or where you just letting me know your eyes still work?” The level of just…. dry...that fell from his tongue just now….

“Well I-umm no.No...I just wasn't told exactly what was being retrieved from the plane so I just wanted to make sure this was accurate and noth-”  The scoff that rung through the other end was borderline humiliating, as if to imply there's no way in hell he could even think this was “accurate”.

“No Mark, it’s far from accurate, but what you see in front of you is what’s there…”

Ahhh, so that explains his happy go lucky sunshine personality at the moment.

“Okay, well I’ll have this sorted and get the plane sterilized, am I sending this down to the west wing for a quality check first or is this just being disbursed to the runners?”

A deep agitated goan rattled in his throat, god whyyyy does everybody have so many questions today!?

“Just-just put it in one of the storage units for now, I’ll deal with it later” Hanging up the call before any more questions could be rendered because he honestly didn't have the patience to even pretend like he cared right now! The minute the call dropped his phone buzzed indicating he’d receive about his 8th text in a row from a person he’s a second away from releasing a full barrel face on! 

It took every ounce of self control not to just let the phone slip out of his hand and shatter against the patternized stone walkway swirling beneath his feet!

Clearly,Hoseok’s not in a good mood, like, at all...there’s just so much floating through his mind right now he’s practically running out of space to even breathe! 

He’s tired, Irritable, that earth-shattering smile of his is nowhere to be found, instead it appears to have been replaced by a semi-permanent snarl. Oh, and the best part, Germany, yeah that was a complete and utter shit show. It was supposed to just be a simple negotiation in regards to you guys expanding to a new territory. Yet he feels like the last thing he did was actually talk, I mean fuck palms still feel as though they’ve been damn near rubbed raw at this point.  Hours, that’s how long it took to rid his otherwise delicately stealth hands of their custom crimson overlay! And to make life even better, he’s the one who has the pleasure of sitting down and debriefing the whole failed mission to you! 

So yay, he loves that for himself...truly…

 Everything just feels heavy, his head, heart hell, even his spirit at his point! Feet dragging through the opulent Medetriann style courtyard as if they weigh more than he did. The only thing that somewhat has Hoseok in a decent mood was you, the fact that he’d be able to see you in person after what felt like 6 years, which in all actuality was a little shy of 5 days! 

Easing his way through oversized dual french doors, into an area that essentially acted as the east wing's  “Lobby” if you will, panes of white walls, and thick black arched windows framed the entryway. The dim lighting hanging from the cast iron chandelier gave the effect that the stark white walls were almost glowing against the moonlight peeking in. My point? The atmosphere appears calm at first glance, warm..inviting...everything Hoseok needs it to be right now because again he’s NOT in the mood for bullshit. All he’s dealt with over the past 120 some odd hours was bullshit! Hint’s why your European connect is a good, meh, four soldiers down at the moment!

I can’t say Hoseok had a specific…”Greeting” in mind upon strolling back into the compound tonight…..

However, what I can guarantee is the soundtrack that is you going full hulk mode in your office, while your guards stood outside looking like bats outta hell, definitely wasn’t high on his list! The men stationed at the security desk were already whipping their heads around before he even pulled the door open. Ah the beauty of cameras, at this point they weren’t sure what was worse. You, playing whack a mole behind the wall or Hoseok’s reaction once he put two and two together! 

It takes all of 3 steps before another piece of something glass and undeniably expensive shatters against the wall. Accompanied by a loud grunt on your behalf, voice breathy and fragile, which lets him know you’ve been at this for a while. 

The level of just, exhaustion he could hear heaving from your throat is what had him more alarmed than anything else. The fact that you clearly didn’t have the self-control to tell your body to stop…which isn't like you at all! I mean fuck, how long have you been in there?! Hoseok’s heart was beating so loud he could hear it pulsing through his ears! 

“What the fuck did you guys do?!” The first and only thing to leave his lips as he huffs towards the control desk. The guard initially stationed in front of the camera’s, rolled his seat to the far left within seconds. Allowing his superior the space to do whatever he needs, they heard Hoseok’s mouse make about 1 good click before…

“Fuckkkkk” Cursed from his lips with enough depth to bounce off every surface in the room. There was an additional gruffness laced within his tone due to lack of sleep.. which almost made the sound more initiating, borderline animalistic. Hoseok’s voice actually broke towards the end, the growl dying on his tongue before it even started. Head bowing towards the monitor as he rocked forward, attempting to re-center himself. Keyword there….”Attempting”

Precipitously, there’s another sound rattling the air and no, it’s not another object flying against the wall ,it’s Hoseok’s fist...right into the marble desktop! Yup, there are no cameras in your office...why? Because you and the man in question have no fucking self-control...which suddenly he’s really, really regretting! Well, actually, there are cameras, however they can only be turned on from inside the office,and he already knew you turned the feed off! That’s why he’s on 10 because he can’t see you..at all! You could be hurting yourself in the process and he’d have no idea! The entrance to your office is camouflage for obvious reasons, to naked eye one wouldn't even know there was an office!

Even as your consigliere Hoseok didn’t ask for much, never has, not a big fan of relying on others to handle his needs...hmm wonder why he got to that point. Still, an unspoken rule of thumb when he leaves..is it’s every mother fucker's job within the compound, hell even the damn birds that frequent the garden! Everyone, needs to do their part to make sure he dosen’t come back to this..especially with the way things have shifted internally as of late! 

And by “This” I mean you having a mental breakdown in your office, because you aren’t one to just break shit for shits and giggles! This isn’t how you deal with a transaction going south, or a distributor sending over a bad strand of coke.. something’s wrong..really fucking wrong! 

Silent, dead silent, that's what Hoseok was, and that was utterly terrifying, your men knew to give him his space, that he’d address them when he’s ready. All the while carefully observing the way his fingers twitched anxiously next to one of the soldier’s guns, before wrapping his hand around the trigger. Teeth grinding together hard enough to crack a molar, repeating his initial question…

 “What. The. Fuck. Did you guys do?” Gritted through clenched teeth as he paced the gun between the three men standing in the lobby. Not even remotely concerned that he was outnumbered because they all looked petrified...as they should….clearly patience was the very last thing he had tonight. 

“Ugh, nothing we-” Click….there goes the sound of the safety, all of three words and a staggered pause in….

Hoseok’s stance never faltered, eyes blazing into the youngers with such intensity it took everything in him not to divert his gaze away from his superior. Head cocked to the side, jaw clenched painfully tight, you can actually visibly see it twitch. The slight arch in his brow let the guard know that was the wrong damn answer and this wasn’t multiple choice, it’s fill in the blank! So he’s got about one more try before this gun goes off, and suddenly you lot will have yourselves a red accent wall! 

“Hoseok, I swear we really-” Coyly swaying from behind the desk, edging his way closer and closer, to the dumbass that still hasn’t figured out how to properly answer the question. Connecting the gun to the side of his head, shoving the lackey against the wall in the process, there was an oddly calming aura radiating off his body right now. Which was clearly in strong contrast to what was currently taking place...and that’s because this..isn’t new to him anymore. The act of taking one’s life doesn’t weigh on his heart the way it used to and maybe that makes him a monster or..maybe it makes him damn good at his job. 

This was simple honestly, if they're not the reason for said breakdown then tell him what is. Not excuses as to why it wasn’t them because clearly that won’t get him any damn where now will it?

“Fuck-...she-she went and saw her dad!” Bingo! He all about choked on that…

 “ ...and she’s been like that ever since...I swear! I swear!” Hands above either side of his head,  shaking like a leaf in the wind, Hosoek could practically see his Adam’s apple bobbing against this throat, as he backed away. 

The shift within the air was palpable, they could’ve gotten whiplash from how quickly his eyes inverted, from pure rage to pain and concern. Shoulders slouched in on themselves as he released a shaky breath from his lungs, staggering backward as he ruffled his fingers through his jet black locks. Almost appearing somewhat winded by the update that he already kinda braced himself for honestly. 

“Fuck”  The word hushed from his lips so faint he doubts any of the men even heard him. Eyes fluttering shut briefly, his opposite hand rested on the bridge of his nose. Squeezing unnecessarily, tight, intentionally re-inflicting the pain he felt maneuvering through his chest!  It wasn’t even a full 30 seconds before he heard something else shatter into pieces, instantly snapping him back to reality, forcing him to reroute his thoughts. 

“How long…” There was a sudden dryness laced within his delivery as if he really didn’t want to know the answer.

“About a hour...or so….” 

“And I’m assuming she insisted on going alone?” No even bothering to make eye contact as a hushed “Yes..” fell from the guards lips. A low hum rang in the back of his throat while his eyes outlined the patterns within the marble, silently trying to pull his shit together before he made his next request….

“Override the security, and buzz me in….” The guards couldn’t help but feel a little shell shocked at how, monotoned, and emotionless his delivery was. One minute they could feel every once of his frustration without Hoseok even opening his mouth! Suddenly, it was like he’d completely removed himself from the entire conversation. Initially, his lack of patience steamed from other bullshit but now, none of that mattered, Germany, the drug deal, none of that even scratched the surface, all that matters right now is you. 

“Boss I don’t thin-”

Gaze slowly rising from the desk, cold, and somewhat feral, not quite sure why he’s being questioned, but right now, but it's definitely not the time! Bringing his nine back level with the guard in question, Hoseok didn’t have to say anything, his middle finger caressing the trigger said it all, expression blank. Gaze daring him to do anything but, buzz his superior in as he asked..nothing more, nothing less. 

Within seconds the center wall which at first glance just looked like a block of white Statuario marble started to shift, exposing all the shattered pieces of decor on the ground. Not even attempting to warn you first because he knew you’d tell him to leave. So instead, he took a deep breath, dropped the gun back onto the desk, cracked his neck a couple times, braced himself, and stepped inside. 

_________________________________________________________

Ya know, if circumstances were different the site in front of him could actually be somewhat comical. You, standing in the middle of this obnoxiously large gilded office, all dolled up in your heels, tight little LBD, dawning every curve on your body. A wrist full of Cartier and Bvlgari,hair curled...looking like you’re ready for a night on the town. Yet, instead of sitting in the middle of some 5-star restaurant drinking aged Scotch your in here. Angry, winded and breaking shit...really expensive shit at that! 

However, there was nothing even remotely humorous in regards to the reason behind your sudden rage. Honestly, it broke his heart to see you like this! Yes, the heart that most barely believed he truly had, but that’s neither here nor there, the people that matter know it threw and threw. Hoseok could feel the anger radiating off your skin even from where he stood. You were ablaze, nothing but utter rage, doused from your pores, but what made it even worse was the blatant desperation underneath it all. 

Every scream just seemed more and more broken...sure maybe he’s a hypocrite, he breaks shit all the time when he’s angry, hell people and objects included.  But you....this wasn’t you..and this wasn’t a healthy way for you to cope! To be real the only reason he stood there so long was because he needed a second to pull his shit together! The longer he stared at you the more his chest tightened, eyes burned like hell. His fingers twitched at his side trying to resist the urge to just come grab you, but he knew better. 

Sure, in most people's eyes, and by most I mean 99.9% of the population, you’d be the farthest thing from an angel! You lost any ounce of purity yearsss ago, still, in his eyes..there’s no one more untainted then you where it counts! And that’s, all that mattered because he knows better than anyone that you have a heart made of 24kt gold. A heart that needed to be protected at all cost, and clearly at the moment that’s not happening, because he can see it! Shattering all over the place along with very pricy china! 

Chest rising and falling painfully hard against itself, you were damn near blacked out in rage. So much so you didn’t even notice your office doors opening or closing. You, the woman that trained her ear to hear the faint hum of an elevator in an upscale hotel. 

Leaning down until your face was flush with the desk, gripping the edges so hard Hoseok could hear the floor creak. He couldn’t help but notice how flushed your knuckles looked, bouquets of bruises already blooming along the smooth surface. The moment of silence only lingered about….half a second, just long enough for you to recharge and grab something else to hurl at the wall. Voice-breaking before the hiss even fully rolled off your tongue, and that  “Something” was a set of Tiffany’s champagne glasses that you utterly adored! Well aware that wouldn’t go over well once this was all said and done so he figured that was his cue. 

“Y/n…” His voice wasn’t loud enough, abrasive enough, and frankly, you were far too absorbed to even hear him on such a neutering level! Sooo, he tried again. Slipping seamlessly into his…”Boss man”  tenor if you will, adding a dash of base to his voice that you could not only hear..but feel! 

”Baby!”

You startled upon hearing the endearment, head snapping around, body staggering until you fell back onto the corner of the desk. Bracing yourself with one arm, so you didn’t actually fall, chest heaving in short staggered breaths, as you gazed back at him, though it was clear initially you really weren’t looking at him.  

“Don’t!” He could see your body starting to curl in on itself as you shifted under his gaze which currently felt like an uncapped bulb in the middle of an integration room. The warning was too half hearted for him to even acknowledge!!

“Fuckkk''  Cursed from your lips only loud enough for you to hear once you gazed up at the clock through swollen eyes, not even realizing how late it was. Far too consumed in anger to remember that Hosoek was even coming home tonight, infuriating yourself even more because this was the last thing you wanted him to walk in on.  You didn’t want to burden him with the task of having to put you back together again, you’d been doing it just fine yourself for the past 5 or so days since this has secretly become routine as of late! You cry, you break shit, you touch up your makeup, and then you walk out of your office like nothing happened and continue running this 9 figure empire.

 “Just-go-go, back outside….” You were trying to sound strong, determined like you weren’t falling apart, and you were failing...miserably failing, you weren’t in control you were practically begging. The concern in Hoseok’s eyes was more than evident and that made shit even worse. Yet no matter how bad his palms were aching to touch you, he didn’t dare to reach for you yet, he knew your limits, and right now still wasn’t it…He could physically see you shudder as if it  wasn’t a solid 75 degrees outside right now.

The silence was too much, way too much, it felt as though it was ripping you apart, or maybe you were ripping yourself apart? Maybe it’s just harder to hide from yourself when you no longer can drown out your thoughts with the sound of you screaming and breaking shit…

“Fuck, this is about Germany right? Or Amsterdam? Whatever it is, whatever you need from me. You can have it...we can talk I promise, but right now,  I need you to leave…” Trying your damnedest to hold is gaze but it felt impossible because you knew he saw straight through you!

The pause was long enough for him to say something and still...nothing...it was like he was trying to push you enough to finally admit what you really needed from him.

“I just need a minute...t-to pull my shit together and then I’ll be fine, then we can talk.” You were practically whispering, your voice was so trashed and distressed. Forcing yourself to drop an octave, removing any texture from your tone  in order to properly “convey” your message yet he still didn't budge! 

“Hoseok, don’t make me ask again...just-” Shoeing your hand towards the door to replace the word you couldn’t quite get to roll off your tongue. 

Everything about you was contradictory because now you wanted him, your eyes were pleading in agony for him to hold you and make everything disappear. Yet, your tone was dry, removed, as if he was some low-level soldier on the totem pole, not to mention you legit just told him to leave. But oh how your emotions betray you when it comes to Mr. Jung! No matter how much bullshit you just spit out, you really only said one thing...and he heard it clear as day. 

Hoseok already knows, he knows you like the inside of a VP9 Veterinary pistol, no matter how cold your delivery was it didn’t stop him from easing off the wall and invading your space. You could feel him before he even got in within 10 ft of you, his aura already starting to infiltrate your little bubble! His stride was slow, confident, making up for all the things you currently lacked because that’s what a good partner does! 

He could see how hard you were clinging to the table as if you were using that to ground you, afraid of how lost you’d get once he got in arm’s length. This man had a soul that outweighed yours by miles and that was one of your favorite things about him, how deep he could go in more ways than one.  Hoseok didn’t stop until he was standing directly in front of you, close enough for you to taste the speirment on his tongue. Still, he hasn’t touched you and now you really needed him to touch you! The sweet musky scent of his cologne filling your lungs, you could practically feel the heat radiating off his body, god why weren’t the two of you in bed right now? Not even having sex nesicarilly,  just naked, skin on skin...you just wanted to feel him. It’s actually disgusting, the amount of control he has over your entire sense of being at this point. The way even just the slightest touch can completely throw all of your senses out of whack or back in whack I guess I should say.  

“Hmmm, a minute is all you need yeah….” Not even attempting to phrase it as a question because he knew it was all bullshit anyway!  So you didn’t dare respond, not trusting your voice anyway, just keeping your eyes trained on his...getting lost in how bright they looked in contrast to yours. Spreading your legs on instinct so he could get even closer, shifting slightly on top of the desk. 

Hands braced on either side of your frame to give him leverage as he tilted forward. “Well, it seems as though you’ve had….many minutes, hours even..” Eyes wandering around the room observing the mess you’d made, yeah the maids gonna need a bonus after this!  

“It doesn’t appear you having time alone has done you much good so try again baby…”Hoseok had a tenor that was meant for your ears, and your ears only. The typical bright almost giddy little accent to his tone was always replaced by a calmer, warmer one. An underlying element of sensuality that exuded just the right amount of calculated…. control….an effortless sense of dominance if you will.

Staring down at you through hooded lids thoroughly, reading for any ounce of discomfort! Once he didn’t find any... finally, you felt his hands take a firm grip on your waist. Your body tensed initially, hoping to counteract how hard you were still shaking! Hint, you failed, you were practically vibrating against him at initial contact!

“Breathe y/n...” 

“I am, trust me that’s the only thing I can do right now…” There was still a slight bite rolling off your tongue, no matter how winded you sound. However, in Hoseok’s eyes sass is better than silence so carry on! 

Nosing along the side of your neck, right beneath your ear, next to your windpipe, letting him feel how you truly felt, which was unbalanced and a little lost. Your heart rate per 15 seconds was probably double what it was on an average day and yes, Hoseok knows how many times your heart beats per minute on an average day! 

“Baby...” Cooed from his lips almost sympathetically as he slowly started painting a trail down the side of your neck with his lips. 

“Hoseok, I-god-I can’t-” You “can’t “what exactly?  Relax? Give in? Shut your brain off? What “Can't” you do? 

“Yeah, yeah, you can, let me turn shut your brain off for a minute , let me take care of you.” Hands gently ravishing your body, effortlessly sending goosebumps down your spine with every feather-like touch. 

“I’ll give you any, and everything you want, but I won’t leave you alone right now…” The words fanned against your skin making your shiver against him, no matter how calm his tenor was the dominance was clear as day! You didn’t have a say in the matter….

Reclining your neck on instinct giving him more room to work as you tried to clear your mind of any and everything that wasn’t Hoseok as you let your eyes fan shut. 

“Hoseok…” Staggered out heavily feeling like you were choking and he only offering a hum in response, not letting up from his current mestractions….”Fuck, yeah, okay just- just keep touching me...please” You weren’t typically a beggar even in bed but right now you needed him, not int he mood to be sassy or play hard to get, to be honest, you just didn’t have the energy. 

“I’m not going anywhere baby..I’m right here..all here for you..always…in any way you need me…” Palms soothing down your thighs, reaching under to smoothly wrap them around his waist, bringing his hips flush to yours. Once he felt you secure your ankles he reached for your hands, kissing along your knuckles before sliding them under the back of his shirt. Knowing how skinship puts your mind at ease, and the second the pads of your fingers graze his skin...you’re already finding  yourself digging your nails into his shoulders. Ripping a low growl from his throat, as he rocked his hips forward, re-positioning his arms on either side of your body so his forehead was flush to yours. 

“All here for you, in any way you need me..” That seems to hold a lot more weight as of late and no matter how much you’re trying to rid your mind of those thoughts..you can’t, you fucking can’t. Suddenly you’re clawing at his shoulders for a different reason, and it hurts, and not the fun kinda pain either…he hears a faint whimper leave your lips, as you clung to him even tighter.

“Y/n….” He exhales, voice shaking eyes glazed over, welting full of tears he’s praying don’t fall because he needs to be strong for you right now. “Baby” There was a blatant plea laced within that and you...

“I know, I know…” it’s unsaid...though it’s clearly not unsaid because you know...youuuu know, the two of you avoided that word. Maybe because if you said it that makes the idea of losing each other even worse. So for now, you’d just prefer to endlessly show it…....

Talking would just suck ass right now, so you opted for the later and leaned in, it wasn’t soft or delicate..you kissed him hard. Until he was gasping through his nose to breathe while, almost stifling forward,letting your hands wander up his shirt to thread into his hair.  Tugging at his scalp until you heard him moan against your tongue, taking that as your invitation to lick your way into his mouth which he accepts willingly. Reclining his jaw letting you have control because he figured you could probably use that right now.  Your lips moved with such emotion, and just pure passion that you don’t know if you’d ever felt so weak under him..yet powerful all at the same damn time! You almost feel lightheaded, the more you kiss, tongues meeting with such desperation your chest feels like it’s burning. Teeth clashing, nails clawing so hard into Hosoek’s skin it hurts but he doesn’t give a damn.

You tilt your head back giving him free access to do as he pleases and he bites. Hard. Until he rips a moan right off your tongue and it sounds so damn good….Nipping licking and sucking over every inch of skin he can reach. Feenin to hear you moan over and over again...until your lips find his and your clawing at his v-neck for dear life. Yanking at the neckline until you hear it rip, lifting and tugging it until he finally takes the hint….

“Offff” 

“Come take what you want.” Pulling back to allow you to yank it over his head, exposing mounds of warm and toned honey-coated skin, covered in trails of articulately placed ink. A combination of new-aged back and white with hints of watercolor paint his skin, telling an array of stories that you know like the back of your hand at this point!

Tugging him back by the nape of his neck so his chest is flush to yours, the warmth radiating through the fabric of your dress, which didn’t cover much, to begin with. Rolling your hips up into his for slight friction until your moaning back against his tongue again, hands moving down to help you grind at a steady rhythm. The contrast of the rough material of his jeans, against your clit was really fucking you up right now.  

“Hoseok…”

“Baby” He countered in a way that had your curls trying to curl under the pad of your heels! 

“Fuck, Fuck me,” You whispered against his lips intentionally whiney, and he froze instantly, not that he didn’t want to because fuck he wanted to he just...Hoseok’s big on talking shit out. Not one for hiding or aiding emotions, and clearly there’s something wrong here!

“I really,need you right now”  You whisper again, nipping at his bottom lip and now it’s hopeless because this man knows he can’t deny you a damn thing. He hasn’t been able too since the two of you met in Paris, initially as strangers stood on a roof with your Colt Pistols aiming dead in each other’s faces.

You could feel the frustration growling from his throat but still, he kissed you deeper, harder, rocking you against the desk so your laying on your back. Rolling his hips against you slowly just to hear you moan against his tongue. ‘Hoseok!” Yeah, your whiny, and yeah your inpatient…

‘God, the shit you do to me…” Leaning in to steal your breath away with another deep brusing kiss.There was a hint of frustration and disbelief, lingering within that, and you can’t help but smile up at him, soothing your palms down the smooth planes of his chest. Nails idly outlining the array of cherry blossoms painting his skin, framing his collarbone perfectly. Not even trying to hide how much you loved knowing you had the same effect on him, which in laymen’s terms just means your both helplessly and endlessly whipped! 

Being in this deep, with someone within your world is dangerous, even more so when they’re actually in the field,  not hauled up in a castle, like some modern-day Repunzel. It can make you vulnerable, irrational, hypersensitive, but on the flip side, it can also turn you into the most lethal version of yourself where enemies are concerned. Your need to ensure no one stands in the way of whatever you deem your “Happy Ending” to be, becomes insatiable...you’d set cities ablaze for that man and he’d do the same..in a heartbeat! 

Considering that’s the first, and only smile he’s seen from you in days he can’t help but lean down again. Leaving one more lingering kiss against your lips sighing out in content at how laxed and pliant you feel under him, you already know he’s smiling, you can feel Hoseok's teeth against your lips. Tentatively he untangles himself, not before leaning down a good three or four more times to kiss you again. As if he's going far, hell as if your ass was going any damn where to begin with even if he was. 

Smoothing his hands up your thighs, hiking your dress around your waist in the process, hissing at the fact you opted against panties today. The minute he eased your legs apart not only could he smell how much you need him but he could see...the need dripping from your lips. Wiggling your hips a little, as your arched even further onto the oversized glass desk, shoving the mounds of files to the side, your heels gave you the perfect angle to completely spread out. Putting yourself on full display, the slight elevation on your lower half had your hips tipping slightly forward, giving him  access to everything he needed! Your gaze was far  too innocent for his liking as you batted your lashes in his direction. Easing your hands up your body.. taking a little detour to caress your breast in your hands before letting them get lost in your hair. 

An all-knowing smirk playing on your lips as you watch his eyes slowly unravel every inch of your body. If you didn’t know any better you’d think his mouth was watering, stealth fingers digging into your skin hard enough to leave a mark. Dropping to his knees..

“I don’t-”

“I know, I know”  Leaning forward until his lips were flush with your inner thigh, eyes trained on yours daring you to look away, jerking slightly when he bit you, then a low moan fell off your lips as he sucked on the spot. 

“You sound so fuckin good” Slurred against your skin, teeth sinking into your thigh even harder this time leaving a larger bite mark. Not pulling back until you squirmed from under him, his name husking off your tongue. 

What you meant earlier was you didn't want him to fully prep you tonight, you wanted the pain, the feeling of him stretching you open around his cock instead of his fingers. The delicious burn that almost makes you feel like your on the brink being split open! But I mean, fuck, look at you, he can’t just..not taste you, right? I mean no he HAS to taste you…

Resting his head against your inner thigh, thumbs kneading your skin while he started to kiss  his way around your bikini line. There seems to be no rush and at the moment you were just enjoying the warmth ghosting off his lips so you laid there content. Then, he leaned forward, placing his lips flush against your clit, leaving an array of solid lingering kisses all the way up your lips. And yeah they were somewhat chaste at this point,but you were feeling real needy  right now so even that had you squirming beneath him. 

“Hoseok” Sighed from your lips as you felt goosebumps spread through your body, gently massaging your nipples through your dress, somewhat teasing yourself instead of giving direct contact. Just allowing your touch to ghost over, until you’re arching into your own hand, pinching even tighter but still not giving your body the full sensation . 

“Y/n” Hoseok replied, calm as ever, a smirk playing on his lips as he watched you “God, your so damn sexy…” Slowly his tongue fell from his lips and landed right around your clit, sucking it into his mouth with a moan that shot through every cell in your body. He sucked, and slurped you between his lips so hard, and you damn near smothered him with your thighs on accident. Your body's first instinct was to pull away, there was so much pressure and stimulation being applied to literally the most sensitive region of your body. And it was steady, once he had you wrapped around your tongue that's where you stayed.

“Holy shit-babyyy” Eyes squeezing shut, trying to remember how to breathe!

 Your mind and body weren’t on the same page, thighs practically vibrating on either side of his head and the minute he felt your legs close in, he nipped the skin between his teeth.Forcing you to arch up and away instead of clamping down, a broken cry of his name falling off your tongue as you tried to desperly keep your legs apart. 

He knew you needed a distraction, leaning forward, grabbing your hand and burying it into your hair, making sure you had an almost painfully tight grip on his scalp! You were damn thankful because holding him like this gave you some sense of ground, instead of you feeling like your about to plummet through the glass.

Hoseok always touched you like he wanted too, like he was the one getting off which prompted your next question once the air resurfaced to your lungs. 

“Mmm, fuck your hard for me already aren’t you? Just tasting me get’s my baby hard doesn't it?” You knew the answer but damn if it didn’t feel good to hear him moan it out anyway.

Nipping at your thigh again, this time a little harder “You fuckin, known, what you do to me, I could come right now if I didnt need to feel you come all over my cock” You moaned so loud at that, gripping his scalp even tighter. “That’s it baby, keep me where you want me.” So you did just that. Pushing his head down so he had nowhere to go but your clit, however the smirk you could feel resting against your thigh should've warned you that he was about to rip you apart.

Hoseok circled his tongue around the very tip, meriscally, his strokes were deep and languid, and they ripped you apart. There's no other way to describe the way he’s volleying your pussy around his tongue, right now! The only comparison I can give you is he’s kissing your clit, and every crevice between your lips, as if he was thoroughly exploring every inch of your mouth . He was loud, and messy, in his pleasure where your concerned, the almost primal sound of his lips, and spit smacking against your folds. Low, needy moans vibrating against your skin as if you were the best damn thing he’d tasted all day. Pulling back to spit directly on your entrance, pursing his lips, and blowing , directing it to fall straight in and your body clenched hard. Fuck you needed, him to inside you…. nuzzling his face between your thighs until his nose was flush with your clit. He knew better than to work you open with his fingers so he opted for his tongue. Picking his own lubricate back up with the tip of his tongue and swirling it around the entrance. Moaning at the wall your body naturally started clenching around the muscle. You were a moaning mess beanthe him, hips rocking against his face.

You’re getting antsy now, wiggling your hips harder, you felt like you were close from this alone and that;s not what you wanted “Fuck Hoseok, baby just fuck me…”  Yanking his head until he pulled away, dragging his lips down to meet yours, chin glistening with all traces of you. The kiss was hard, messy,your essence was all you could taste against his tongue, moaning out as he rocked his hips into you. Leaning forward so he could reach into the Hermes gift box which was kinda decoration kinda used to store lube and other shit you really should have in an office! 

The minute he grabbed the bottle you ripped it from his hands, this was the least you could do,plus you just loved how heavy he felt in your palm. Hoseok almost growled as he deepened the kiss, more teeth and tongue than finesse,the kiss is hard, it feels like your both gasping for air the entire time but neither of you want to pull apart. Pulling at his belt with nothing but a whine until he gets the hint and smacks your hand out of the way, within seconds you feel him hit your stomach. Hot, hard, and heavy, and god if you didn't clench so damn hard, he’s literally twitching  on top of you right now.

“Do you even have the slightest idea how fucked up I am for you?  How hard I am and you havent even touched me yet?” 

“Mmm, I don’t know baby it’s been a minute since I’ve seen you...” Your whispers seductive yet taunting,kissing at his jaw and his neck, smiling against his skin at the low moans that spill from his lips. “Tell me..

Digging your heels into his back as you uncapped the bottle, taking an obscene amount in your hand before reaching between your bodies. Ripping a shaky moan from Hoseok's throat once you laced your fingers around his cock. Squeezing just enough to let all the acces lube drizzle down his shaft and land on his balls, he’s just throbbing in your palm right now and your not even moving yet. “Does it make you feel good to know you got me wrapped around your finger? Knowing- I’d- fuck-” Now, your moving,  hand working his shaft, flucuating the way you distribute pressure, loosser at the bottom and tighter twoards the head  becuse thats his sweet spot. Lube just running down your fingers, it’s so damn messy and you love it,he's straight up whining into your mouth right now. Breath fanning against your face as he nuzzles into your skin...lips parted.

“Knowing that you’d what baby?”  Tugging his bottom lip between your teeth, feeling the way his hips twitched above you , so you slow down your pace, and tighten your grip. Hoseok's brows are furrowed chest flushed…..he looks fucking beautiful.

“That I’d kill anyone in a heartbeat for you, that i’d never let a damn thing happen to you” He can't help but rock into your fist even harder, eyes struggling to stay focused but he refuses not to look at you.. “Does that get to you the same way it does me? Because I still get hard thinking about the way you went toe to toe with Jin’s father about me that night in Italy.” Trailing his tongue down the side of your jaw nibbling ever so slightly “That,was-fuck-the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.”

“God, I-...” Licking your way back into his mouth as you continued working him in your hand, moving your thumb over his tip, smearing the mounds of precum into the excessive lube .“Yeah, fuck yeah, it turns me on wayy more than it should. I shouldn't want you to be reckless when it comes to me but god if it's not sexy as all hell knowing you would be…” 

“And I would” he responds with zero Hesitation….

The sudden passion somewhat catches you off guard honestly, and the fire burning through his eyes as he said that is….stifling to say the least. 

“You’d go to war with me baby?” You didn't intend to shift the mood this heavy, yet you couldn't help the way it just vomited off your tongue. Maybe it’s your subconscious talking right now, still trying to fight it’s way through regardless of your current surroundings! 

Reaching up to cup your jaw, tilting your chin upwards, placing the most fragile kiss along your lips . “With you, for you, anyway you spin it the answer is yes...a hundred times over baby it’s yes…” The ache you currently felt coursing through your veins for this man right now...

“I need you in me. Now. I promise will go slow...please let me do this” 

Hoseok held your gaze for a moment before responding, searching your eyes for any hesitation “‘And you’ll tell me if it’s too much..” Grip firm around your waist, not even bothering to phrase it as a question because it wasn’t one...

‘Promise…” Placing the tip right at your entrance,and Hoseok can feel your heat trying to pull him in but he retreats. Giving you full control, keeping your eyes trained on his, well aware that’s what he needed to make sure, he could gauge our pain whether you wanted to admit it or not. Initially, nothing happened neither of you moved, just the faint suction of your very neglected pussy trying to suck him in.

 “I said I wanted you to fuck me...you know my body better than I do..make me take you…” 

‘I-” Yeah. Hoseok.Exe stopped working because he definitely wasn't expecting that, thinking you’d just rock yourself down, not that you wanted him to gauge your restience! Nails raking down his back as you roll your hips against him, making sure he can feel how warm and wet you are, how ready you are..positioning your lips to moan right against his ear.

“Fucking come’re” Hosoek leans forward smashing his lips against yours so hard it hurts, grabbing your legs, bracing them on either side of his shoulders. Sliding your hips forward until the backs of your thighs are flush with his chest, and your red bottoms are facing the ceiling. Gripping his length, teasing the head up and down your folds, as he left a trail of open wet mouthed kisses down your jaw,behind your ear, over to your neck. Ending with his lips nuzzled against your ear…returning the gesture “Missed you, touching you,” Exensuating each word with a kiss “The sound of your voice, waking up to you, being inside you...” Rocking his hips against yours deep, and hard.

You can’t even help but moan at just the mention of him being inside again after what feels like months “Want you, need you....” You’re in rare form tonight, yeah, your always a little submissive with him but not to this extent. 

“Your really tryin to break me today huh?” Tugging your lobe between his teeth before suctioning his lips around your jaw, at this angle Hoseok had the fronts of your thighs colliding with your chest. If he even considers  bringing you back this deep once he’s in you...it’s game over…”You ready?” 

“God yes” Soothing your hands up his stomach once he pulled back, skin hot to the touch and initially nothing happens, just the pressure of Hoseok's tip. Wiggling your hips playfully gives him a little incentive, so he starts to rock forward, and suddenly play times over! Your body freezes dead in its tracks...Hoseok's eyes stay trained on yours the entire time and your jaw clenches at the exact moment your pussy clamps down around his tip. As if you're trying to reroute the pressure elsewhere…A slight whine spills form your lips which lets him know there is still some pleasure laced within all of this.

‘Touch me, keep touching me baby….” Somehow Hoseok appears to be offensively calm regardless of the vice like grip you currently have around him! The request was more for you than him, knowing how much you needed his warmth right now! Clearly your not even close to being settled enough for him to come down flush level yet. So, this will have to do,taking your hands in his, guiding them down his body leisurely. Leading your fingers on a little field trip, sighing contently once you feel how warm and toned he is, how strongly his body reacts to your touch. The way every muscle twitches as you ghost over it, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. Subconsciously you found yourself leaning towards his touch, hissing out once you shifted a little too much for the moment.

“You still with me baby?” 

Nodding slowly as you try to focus, steading your breathing as much as possible, you wanted, no, needed to feel him like this! He can see the pain coursing through your body as the two of you still hold each other's gaze, which is the only thing keeping you grounded right now. Resting his head against your inner thigh, kissing along your skin once he feels his tip breach your quivering entrance. And it’s tight , fuck it’s tight, your body feels like it’s buring from the inside out once you swollow the swell of his head between your lips. Your jaw slacks open and nothing comes out, he’s not even sure if your breathing right now but what he does know is your eyes are still open and focused on Hoseok. 

“Goddamn” Hoseok groans deep and low head lulling back and finally he sounds just as fucked up as you,hand taking a bruisingly hard grip on your hips. He’s actually trying to shift back a little, so he can rock back in, but he can’t. You won’t let him go,“You gotta-shit, you gotta  let me breathe a little baby….fuck” He’s winded and using every once of self control he has to stay stationary, even though your applying a dangerous amout of pressure to the most sesentive regin of this mans shaft. The tip, that's all that's suctioned between your heat and your squeezing him like your trying to break him, and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it.  

 So you try, fuck you try, exhaling then inhaling then exhaling again, attempting to get all your msucles to relax. Only problem is your not even clenching around Hoseok’s cock, you just have him trapped. Your just clamped tight, so tight it hurts, on both ends! He can feel your thighs shaking around him, pulling inwards as if your bodies trying to curl in on itself , and he knows this isn't going to work! He’s hissing hard too, nails digging into the swell of your ass, and thankfully once the two of you make eye contact yours are daggering into him with a silent plea. And he already knows what you want! The real issue is there’s way too much swirling around your head mentally for you to have full control over your senses right now. So, that's when you render him full control of any and every inch of your being to do as he pleases in order to give you what you need.

“Ho-Seok...fuck just-” 

 Reaching out for one of your hands so you can squeeze his as hard as you need, kissing along your knuckles.”Yeah?” 

“Yeah!” Tilting your head back with a beathy whine, squeezing his fingers even tighter….

 “You trust me?” Nodding without hesitation “I need you, to keep your eyes open, and focus, can you do that for me baby? ”  It’s a lot but Hoseok knows your limits and if it was truly too much he’d pull out, you can take it, all of it. Shifting your thighs so there now wrapped around his waist as opposed to above his head.�� Pouring an obscene amount of lube on the remainder of his shaft, not even bothering to rub it in, just letting the excess drip onto the table. 

“And if you can’t get your colors out?” 

“Pinch you...I’m good, I know you got me...”A lazy smile tugging on your lips as you just try to stay calm.

“On the count of three, take a deep slow breath through your nose...and don't exhale until I tell you too” Hoseok cups your cheek and you nuzzle into it, kissing the tips of his fingers, you can feel them trembling though he’s trying to appear at ease.. 

“K” Yes wide, but focused, determined...a  little stubborn but hell you've already started right? 

Hoseok's eyes flutter shut briefly, taking in a deep slow breath of his own, making sure he’s in the right headspace to guide you through this. Once those big brown eyes of his creek open and your gazes meet again it’s heavy. Hosoek’s eyes are blown out, half lided, already glazed over, he just looks like sex...and he looks like hes about to break you in all the right ways! 

Adjusting his grip on your hip, steadying himself, thumbing at your side, “Count with me….1” God, the textures in this man's voice where unreal, he just sounds so damn smooth, the hushed command had so much control, and warmth wrapped up in all of 4 words.

He rocks forward, barely...just to see if you’ve loosened up and you still haven’t budged... Flicking his chin in your direction indicating he wanted you to continue…

“Two…” You’d be lying if you aid your heart wasn;t hammering in your ears as you let a deep breath start to fill your lungs.

“Three” Whispped through clenched teeth and he didn’t hesitate, rocking back just a little so he has better leverage tilting his hips upwards and he watches your eyes widen..thighs tense but he doesn't stop. Redirecting all of his weight into his abdomen, grinding down with a deep, heavy roll of the hips, you can feel every muscle in his back within this first thrust. Your fingers twitch in his hold, eyes glazing over relatively quickly, but your still looking at him, barely but you are. Even Hoseok’s breathing a little shaky, brows furrowed, but he's in, his tips fully past your entrance “Let it out baby….” 

And you do, whimpering hard, as a choked out breath hippicus through your chest, initially you were expecting him to pause. Give you a minute to adjust to the initial stretch…..Nope…

He doesn't stop, he's still rolling forward and now your gasping and whimpering all over again, even louder this time! Hoseok’s thumbs bruising the hell out of your hips but you don’t have him stop, you can’t! Your mind and body needs this right now, the tension the burn,all of it! 

“That’s it…” Even though his restricted breathing you can hear the fondness dripping off his tongue. “ Focus on me, I got you” The more he breaches his way through your heat the more the wind gets knocked out of your lungs but it’s good, it’s soo damn good! You manage to somewhat choke out his name and he just hums in response, biting down on his bottom lip in concentration. Untangling his hand from yours to brace both on either side of his head. Hoseoks pushing through steadily now,morphing his way through your heat that’s still trying to fight against him but he doesn't stop.No matter how hard you pulsing around him, Hoseok's shaft drags forward until his balls meet the swell of your asss. And finally he’s right on top of you, your bodies trembling beneath him so he gently lowers himself. Bringing his chest flush to yours letting your wrap your arms around his neck. Clawing your way down his back, intentionally releasing some of the tensions coursing through your veins. Licking his way back into your mouth, kissing deep, and messy until your light headed and desperate. Endless Moans richoching against one other, his palms soothing down your thighs. 

Everything pauses for a while, neither of you move, your both panting hard into each other's mouths while you adjust and Hoseok's not rushing you either. Wanting you to relax a little so he doesn't come after all of 2 strokes, idily  tracing patterns against your skin. Finally able to feel your breathing even out, muscles becoming more laxed beneath him!

“You ready for me baby?,”

All you can do is moan in response, still so overwhelmed, squeezing your legs around his waist as hard as you could so he at least knows your still with him. 

So he does, pulling out and pushing back in, and your eyes automatically roll back at the feeling. It’s still tight as fuck but he’s somehow managing to weave his way through. .

“Hurts?”  He can’t help but ask since your thighs are still shaking a little, and you nod honestly.

“Good pain? Good enough to make my pretty baby come?” More of a statement than a question, you can hear the smirk in his voice, as he kissed down your jaw. Trying to distract you a little,sucking a couple bruises along the front of your neck . Edging his way back and forth building up a steady tempo, and finally Hoseok can feel the shift. He’s able to breathe within you a little better, your letting him wade in a little deeper! 

You exhale shakily and nod again, feeling him shift off of you, repositioning your legs on either side of his shoulders.Leaning forward pressing all his weight into his arms until your thighs are flush to your chest. 

Your mouth opens and closes, kinda like a fish outta water, you do it a few times but not shit comes out.

“Baby…” Kissing up your inner thigh as he gently rocks forward , slowing down a little so you can feel the slow drag of his cock pull you apart. Back arching ever so lightly, moaning out low and wanton “Your so, sexy, doin so good for me” Nuzzling against your skin, nipping lightly at your inner thigh. 

“Your deep” The word barley leaves your tongue “Fuck, faster..”

“Yeah?”

Before you can even respond he snaps his hips forward and you almost scream, nails digging into his disciples as he stares down at you with a smirk that’s..real concerning considering the position he has you in. So he does it again, pulling his cock halfway out and rocking forward, 

“That’s it, that’s what my baby needed,” Hoseok whispers and thrust forward even harder this time, rocking up on the heels balls of his feet as if he’s aiming for your damn ribcage. 

Your mouth falls back open, looking like you wanna moan but you can;t every exhale gets cut off by another deep roll of the hips,repositioning himself so he braced with one arm. Running the other up your face, into your hair, before cradilling your jaw, thumbing at your bottom lip which you nip and suck into your mouth. Humming out contently, as you lick a stipe up his index and middle finger, not missing the way Hoseok’s cock twitches at the added stimulation. 

“Look at you…..” Eyes trailing down your body agnoniziling slow, taking in each and every detail as if it’s the very first times he's ever seen you like this. And still, you can’t help but shutter at the genuine astonishment burning through those lust filled eyes of his. Which eventually land on the site that his is cock dissappring between your wet and swollen pussy, lips just sprawled over his balls just the way he likes “ My baby's so good for me hmm?

“Always…” you whisper eyes rolling back,,completely glazed over, as his fingers fallback from your lips, every inch of your skin feels like it’s on fire right now.

Hoseok gets lost for a minute, watching the way your so pliant and trusting with him, eyes squeezed shut just letting yourself get consumed by all things Hoseok! Pulling back just enough to spit directly on your clit. The texture has your eyes flying open the instantly rolling shut once he brings his thumb down to work the bud at a swift steady pace. 

“Fuckkkk” Whimpering loudly in repsonse “Don’t stop, fuck harder..” And that he does, harder faster every thrust has his balls smacking against your ass. “Fuck, yes! Fuck, you feel so good…” 

“Yeah, yeah...your right there...come on baby…” He can feel you pulsing even harder against him. Not that you ever fully stopped but the tensions different now, more constricted…..he starts thrusting home hard! Spitting an even bigger wad on your clit, mixing it with the extra lube dripping down his balls as he continues ripping your nerves wide open. 

“Fuck, kiss me!” Whiney and bossy as per usual!

Smacking his hand away, exchanging it for your own so you can drag him down and take what you need, placing  your index and middle finger straight to the clit, which was rock hard. Applying as much pressure as possible, until the friction almost burns. Feeling your release dangling right in front of your face.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come...” You whisper out  all of a sudden slowly rocking your hips forward trying to meet his thrust though it’s  kinda hard in this position. 

“Yeah? You gonna come all over my cock? Then let me fill you up until I’m dripping down your thighs...” The kiss is messy more tonuge and teetht han skill, he can feel you, your right fucking there, thrusting into so hard it almost hurts.

Your eyes widen, brows furrowing to the center of your face, breath shuttering in your throat, mouth just parted against his, then your eyes squeezed shut. Fingers still working your clit, and your coming, silent at first until your crying out, voice shattinger , nails dragging from the nape of hoseok's neck down his back! He dosen’t stop fucking you, not even for a second, going just as, and fast as he was before, while you whitherbenathe him. The second he feels you try and pull your hand away he drops his hips even lower, restricting any movements. 

“Don’t fucking stop! Keep coming until I do, I'm right there,ride this out with me baby” He all about growls at you, and you don’t even dare to disobey, to be honest you don’t wanna stop. Body almost working on autopilot to chase the buzz running through your body, running towards it as much as your trying to run away…it’s too much but it’s soo good!

He’s thrusting into you as hard as he can but fuck if his biceps aren’t on fire and he just can’t finish the way he wants...the way he needs. So he pulls out, fast, barley giving you time to whine nevertheless realize what's going on and he slides over next to you. Lying back on the desk and grabbing you within seconds, sinking you back down onto his cock in one swift notion. Nails digging into your hips as he fucks you down onto him, hard, short thrust rip through your body, not making you do a damn thing but try and hang on for the ride! Your gasping hard, tossing your head back once you reconnect your hand with your clit. Attempting to roll your hips down and meet the pace he’s set but it's merciless… and he’s picking up speed quickly. 

“jesus-fuck-Ho-oseok!” Your nails are raking into this man's chest so hard you wouldn't be surprised if you broke skin but he’s groaning deep and that’s only egging you on! 

His honey coated complexion’s just dripin, brows furrowed, eyes barley ajar, Hoseok seems to be returning the favor. His thumb is about a second away from leaving a permanent indentation and it hurts but you need it. Not even a question as to if you guards can hear you or not your loud! Voice trashed, and very swipe of the hand has you jerking and twitching above him because your clits sentive as all fuck, but goodamn if he dosen’t look good, forhead sweaty  jaw slacked. 

“Y/n, Y/n, fuckk” He’s whining high and needy, heats rashing over his body, and you feel his balls tighen against your ass, and now he turly is right there. You can feel him twitching hard inside you.

“Come onnn baby, you know I fuckin want it, you know I wanna be fu-” There’s a choked out tear rolling down your cheek your bodies spazing so damn hard, it’s painful. Before you can even make sense of what’s happening your crying, and your clenching and coming all over again, your bodies completely spent. Toppling on top of him, instantly because...what the hell just happened?? 

 You clamp down tight around his cock unintentionally, body just luid, and spasming above him and you both moan and that’s when he comes, hard. Eyes open, and locked with yours, a low goan of your name falling from his lips as he spills into you. Hoseok’s shaking beneath you but he doesn't even try to pull out, reaching up to gently brush the tears off your cheek. Taking your hand in his, and sucking those same two fingers into his mouth, eyes locked with your as he does so, and your too damn spent to even react properly. Slowly he still continues thrusting into you, leaning up to press a couple soft kisses against your lisp, humming contently as you taste yourself.  Adjusting his grip so he has one hand, caressing the back of your neck and the other wrapped around your waist. Rubbing slow soothing circles down your spine, as he cards his fingers through your hair, your chest heaving together in unison as your bodies slowly come down. 

“Hi” The words hush off your tongue with a lazy, and utterly exhausted smile, eyes too heavy to open until you feel his teeth pressing against your lips. Letting you know he's smiling too and I mean, fuck, who are yuo to declien a front row seat to to watch the sunrise!

“Hi baby…”  Leaning up to press another linger kiss against your lips as his hips to a halt, just letting you simmer around him. Even the slight stimulation was enough to have both of you moaning out in overstimulation...

________________________________________________________________

The comedown was always slow between the two of you so it’s not a surprise that your bodies and tongues stayed tangled together long after Hoseok came. Eventually, the desk got a little uncomfortable, Hoseok's damn near stuck to it ,there's so much heat radiating off his skin.  So he wraps you in his arms and plops the two of you down on the couch. All the while , his cocks still bured between your lips, your dress is still flipped over your ass and his jeans and hanging low against his thighs! 

“How you feelin?”Pressing delicate kisses all over your face, hands rubbing your inner thighs because he knew they were burning by now.

“Tired” You pouted, mumbling slightly...

“Well, I guess I did my job then huh?” A faint smirk tugging on his lips, as he kissed down your jaw….

Once the two of you settled on the couch Hoseok waits a moment, opting to see if you’d want him to pull out though he should’ve known better, the two of you fall asleep like this more times than not! Gently stroking his fingers down your back in hopes it would coax you into talking without him having to pry it out of you!  The longer you lot sat in silence the faster your heart rate got, Hoseok could actually hear it echoing throughout the room. Leaning down to press a flurry of kisses into your scalp trying to ease you in anyway he could. Eventually, the T-rex in the room was starting to feel a little suffocating sooo...

“He’s just not...doing well, like…. at all…” Tone flat, as if you were trying to remove yourself from the situation at hand. Purposely nuzzling into the side of his neck, bussing yourself with the chains dawning his collarbones. The lack of eye contact wasn’t because you were embarrassed it’s because you just really didn’t wanna cry. You came wayyyy too hard your body can’t handle shit else! 

“I know-I know we’ve known this for a while…” There was this really thick lump hammering in your throat that really didn’t want to leave, the stability within your tone was swiftly heading south. Hoseok could hear it too, no matter how muffled you sound, suddenly more kisses were being pressed into your scalp.

“I guess, I was just fucking naive because he was doing soooo damn good earlier in the year ya know? ” Eyes fluttering up to meet his tentatively, your lashes fanning his skin gave that away, and he gazed down instantly. A dry chuckle leaving your throat, shaking your head as if your the butt of your own joke, but didn’t find it funny nor did he find it naive. 

Holding you even tighter, if that was possible…Those big brown eyes of his were soft and so damn fond of you it was actually ridiculous. If only your enemies could see you now, two of the most notoriously cutthroat people in the industry, throwing googly eyes back and forth! Looking like a couple in some cheesy Netflix romcom! Leaning down to press a lingering kiss on your lips, not pulling back until you released the breath that apparently only he knew you were holding. 

 ”Listen to me baby, there’s nothing naive about being hopeful, there’s also no handbook on how to handle your father dying. Even if you know it’s coming sooner than later..doesn't make any of this shit easier...”

“I know but...fuck…” Shifting slightly so your sitting more upright arm propped on the cushion behind his shoulder. “It’s just a lot, because I feel like I can’t fully do my job because if I do, I’ll miss something. Maybe I’ll miss...it, I mean Germany for fuck’s sake! That’s totally something I’d typically go on..instead, I forced y-”

Leaning down to press his lips against yours again, hoping you’d get the hint “In case you forgot..I volunteered, you never asked...you didn’t have too. And my job, for the record, is whatever you need it to be!” There was nothing but fire blazing into your eyes right now, he needed you to feel that, that he’s here for whatever you need..whenever you need it...however you need it! 

“I know, Seok-baby I know, and I appreciate that more than you’ll ever know” Reaching out to cup his jaw, melting at the way he instantly nuzzled into your palm before giving it a kiss. 

“However, I’m suppose to be in charge, I’m suposed to be in control, and I’m not.. I’m already falling apart and he’s not even gone yet…” That sentence alone had you feeling like you wanted to throw up! “I mean can you fuckin imagine how much of a wreck I’m gonna be?” Hoseok could hear how agitated you were getting so he opted to just stay quiet until he was sure you were done talking…

“Seok, I’m going to fall a fucking part-” You tried to turn your head before the tear rolled down your cheek but you failed, voice breaking off before you could even continue your thought. Hastily whipping your face as if you were mad at yourself for being so emotional right now. Nails daggering into his but he didn’t pull away, he let you be, he’s felt way worse. 

“This empire, his, empire is going to fall, apart, and any legacy my family ever had will  go up in flames! And who’s fucking fault will that be!? Huh? Not my brothers, Nothing’s ever his fault, how the hell does that work out!?” Your voice was hammering so hard in your chest it almost sounds as though your speaking straight into an industrial fan!

“ The one who fucked up everything gets to just ease by like nothing ever happened! Cause lord knows he’s too too damn much of a junkie to even tie his fuckin shoes nevertheless run the family business! It’s not that I didn't want this, I just don’t think I’m ready...nobody asked me if I was ready, my own fuckin brother never even offered to help like-I-fuck!” 

And now your crying again, great, great…..your first instinct was to get up, get away, move, break more shit I don’t know! Just anything, but sitting in this man’s lap, those assassin reflexes though, Hoseok caught your thigh before you could completely ease off the couch. Shifting your weight again, helping you pull out, you were far too gone to even react to the slight sting you should’ve felt. Slamming you back down so your hips were flush against his pelvic bone, holding you so your body hovered over him. You knew the position was so he could look straight through your damn soul but you couldn’t handle that right now….eyes fluttering down to your lap instead. 

“Y/n” No, he needed you to look at him, gently reaching down to cup your tear-stained face, eyes, and nose rivaling a blowfish!  

“And I say again…you don't have to do this alone anymore. I’m here for you, for you my baby, in any, and every way you need. You wanna regroup and brainstorm as to how I can help more let’s do it, if you need me on the field more let’s fuckin do it! Whatever you need to make this easier just tell me .” His pause was intentional holding your gaze, making sure you felt that. Allowing you to search his eyes for any hints of uncertainty that he already knew you’d never find. 

“And if you fall apart guess what!? I’ll be there to help put you back together time, and time again...and this empire will be fine. Stop, stop thinking everyone’s gonna leave you, you’ve been acting as your father’s second in command since you were 19! More importantly, you’ve been running shit with very little delegation for well over a year and if anything this operation flourished. Give yourself more credit, everyone here thinks highly of you, and not because they have too...it’s because your someone worth being admired. Regardless of how dirty our work may be, you and I both know there’s still a way to run this with some heir of dignity! “ 

Reaching up to grab you by the nape of your neck, bringing your forehead down to rest against his own...hoping it would ground you a little “You got this baby..and you got me...I’d burn down the world for you in a second if need be and you know it! Imma get you through this...I promise!”

You let your eyes flutter shut briefly, trying to calm down, you could feel him pressing light kisses against your tear stained cheeks and you couldn't help but smile. Yeah, it was small, definitely did not reach your eyes but it was something...

“I know we aren’t the most honorable people, and he won’t get some fuckin gold plaque like the Mayor when he dies but my dad was a very honorable man for the work he did. And I’ve always tried to do the same, I just..fuck I just want him to be proud of me….I mean at least that.”  Your face hurts you were trying so hard not to cry anymore, a shaky breath ghosting off your lips. 

“He’s already never gonna see me, grow old or walk down the aisle or-.fuck..”  Shit…Hoseok look’s utterlly terried as to where this is going....

“Fuck, he’s never gonna see me walk down the aisle one day” Eyes wide, panicked I guess this was the first time you’d had that thought...the first time you’re really thinking about all the things you’d have to do without him. You've always promised yourself that regardless of how crazy your world is...eventually once you're settled you’d stop denying your heart of its desires! 

Having someone to endlessly love and share this empire with is something you’ve always wanted...and something your father always told you, you deserved and would have one day! 

“Hes nev- holy shit what if I have ki-oh my god.” Every word felt as though it was strangling you, as it hiccups from your chest “ Oh. My. God ” Now this was a lot, this was pain strong enough to split you in half, all the thoughts you’d been avioding suddenly rushed to the surface! 

Your full blown sobbing into the side of his neck … and Hosoek’s heart hurts , fuck it hurts. slouching down into the couch, engulfing your body into his arms which only made you cry even harder. Ya know what makes it even worse? Is that there isn’t a damn thing he can do about this kinda pain. There’s no one he can shoot or stab to make it go away and it’s fucking gut-wrenching, as your body breaks apart above him . 

“Shhh,your okay baby, it’ll be okay….” Even Hoseok didn’t believe that, he didn’t have the slightest idea as to how he was going to get you through losing the first man you ever loved! But fuck if he wasn’t going to try! 

“Listen to me, stop, don’t do that to yourself” Gripping the sides of your face tight enough in his palms to force you ro focus on him and only him. “Let’s get you home alright? Will talk about work and all the other bullshit later you just need-”

“Y/n! Y/n!” 

Who the actual hell...

The sound of someone squawking your name like they’d lost their damn minds had both of you rerouting your attention. Completely shattering the moment causing your body to tense on command. Your brains been wired for so many years to just cut off emotions at the blink of an eye it almost happens on autopilot now! Zoning in on the chaos that appears to be unfolding outside your door and within seconds your pain becomes old news! Which is….just great for your mental health but carry on! 

You could hear your guards all standing outside the door trying to calm whoever this person is with a very clear death wish down. However, they didn’t seem to falter.

“Y/n, open the damn door now! This is serious you can’t just shut me out like this!!” 

But wait, wait, wait, random’s don’t just get acess into the compound so there’s only so many options…

Then, you start to recognize the tenor...and so does Hoseok, and he’s fucking livid. You could literally feel every muscle in his body tense from beneath you. Reaching down to snatch you off his lap, and tucking  himself back into his pants so damn fast you almost got whiplash. If he wasn’t soft before he definitely was now! 

“You’ve gotta be shitting me!” Striding over to your desk to grab your Glock34 from the drawer. 

“I fuckin told him not to come here today...” Growled through gritted teeth, as he reloaded your gun, spinning the barrel. 

Shit.

”Yn! YN! We need to talk about what’s going on with dad!” The slow-motion drawl said it all, he’s high as hell and it’s your fucking brother…

“Ohhh, he wants to talk about your father?!” Tone loud and Exaggeratedly cheerful as they leave his lips sing song esque “Of fucking course he does!” 

“Hoseok-” Yeah, this wasn’t ending well, swiftly readjusting your dress back around your thighs. Though your thighs felt like a damn slinky you still ran over to barricade yourself in front of the door! The door that your brother was still banging on like a fucking idiot!

“Jason. Leave!!!” Praying the distress resonated through the pans of marble, your just now realizing how gone your voice truly is, honestly you don’t even know if he heard you. But for his sake, you hope it did, because it Hoseok gets through this door...

“Nooo,Jason stay!” 

“Hoseok…” Bracing your hand firm against his chest, pushing him away from the door. The warning laced within your tone was clear as all hell, no matter how brittel it was .

“Nah, he wants to talk, let’s fuckin talk! He’s the last thing you need to be worrying about right now, considering he only gives a fuck about you when he’s tapped out of his monthly allowance! What? All of a sudden he cares so deeply about your father?” Brow arched knowingly “ Let him even fix his mouth to say the word “Will” and I will buss a cap so far up his asshole, he’ll cough out all the coke he’s been sniffin’!”

“Y/n, I can have him escorted-”

“One second Spade!” That mans been around since you were in middle school. You know the sound of his voice anywhere, yeah even muffled through a marble wall.

“Comere” Tone dropping to a purr, that you knew wans’t fair but fuck it, no matter how angry he’s on you in seconds, like I said...he can’t deny you anything. 

Leaning forward to wrap your arms around his waist and you can feel how tense his body is initially...yet he still instinctively lets his hands find their home right on the swell of your ass. The edge of the glock resting against your waist…..

 “Baby, I know your angry, and I know that’s mostly because of me, hell I was just chewing him out a second ago. But at the end of the day he is my brother and that is our dad...that’s damn near on a fuckin resperator. I know how to keep him at arms length... I don’t have the mental capacity for this right now. But, I’m gonna open that door, and see what the hell he wants, and I need you, for me...to just chill. If he gets outta line I’ll have him escorted out.”  He physically growled at that, Hoseok would much rather handle this on his own.

Leaning up to card your fingers through his hair, acting as if you didn't even notice his little tantrum “I really need you by my side tonight, and I need you to stay calm,because I’m far from it. Let’s hear him out and if he steps out of lines he’s out.” 

Wrapping his hand around the one you have laced within his hair “You already know I can’t say no to you!” He’s pissed about it too, long gone are the days when he could just do what he pleased regardless of who it affected. 

“But I swear to go Y/n, if and when he steps outta line-fuck-you just better make sure,  your boys are ready to throw his ass out ...because if I do it...he’s gonna end up in the ER for more than just wirthdrawls!”

`__________________________________________________

THAT’S ALLL SHE WROTE FOR NOW…KINDA I ALSO WROTE HALF OF PART TWO, SO IF YOU ENJOYED SHOW THIS SOME LOVE AND COME TALK TO ME! My GENERAL RULE OF THUMB IS AS LONG AS SOMETHING GETS AT LEATS 100 LIKES I’LL CONSIDERING ADDING TO IT DOWN THE LINE!

ALSO,  A LITTLE BONUS BECAUSE I DID MAP OUT THE FIRST 4 CHAPTERS BACK WHEN I WROTE THIS...

_________________________________________________________

It’s clear the OC’s brother will probably/definitely be an issue, in more ways then one! As well as her father is obviously going to die, like, within the first couple of chapters.

Her family’s association is called “Grim” and she’s commonly known as “The princess of the Grim clan”. 

There is a 2nd member set to be introduced in part 2 that will eventually work for the OC...hint it’s a makane! He tries to robe one of their local establishments and well...clearly that probably won’t end too well…

Jin is a mob associate...his family's Forbes ranked multi-million dollar empire was founded with blood money! Sooo, he’s a mutual between “Grim” and “The King Tapian’s”.

3 of the other members are in another association overseas called “The King Tapian’s”. A name she’s heard of, as they have one hell of a rep but they’ve never “officially” crossed paths. That is, until another death within the mob world which brings a new territory on the market! One that her fathers been eying for years over in Europe! (Another hint, they kinda join forces and eventually agree to co-inhabit the area in efforts to shove another “shysterier” gang out, which in turn starts a little war if you will!) The other members would be a sub-focus however It was undecided as to how big of a part they’d all play!

 Lastly, the final member is a freelance hacker/hitman that knows Hoseok very well, so much so the pair used to fool around back in the day so yes that would make him BI! 

I was also undecided if I wanted to incorporate another member sexually or not...as I’d dabbled with the idea of them being in an open relationship! There was also the possibility of making the “King Tapian” Boys lowkey poly! Either solely male on male or maybe throw in the idea of a minor female character who i’d name so there’s no confusion! 

The overall gist of the story was essentially the OC finding her footing after her father dies. Making her own path as one of the only women in charge on the black market! While also creating some allies and gaining of course some enemies along the way! Regardless this would also be a Hoseok centered series with the possibility of semi regular OT7 guest appearances!

  Love you as always,

Rocki,

[jawritter]

You Deserve Better Than Me...

Requested By: @missafairy​

What do you think about a fic where older Dean (37 I think) finds out that the girl he's currently dating is pregnant. She is like... 23 maybe and he doesn't feel right about dating her in the first place because of age difference and the fact that he has a shady past, maybe drugs, and alcohol. He has stopped with drugs but booze is still a small problem and she is all cute and sweet and innocent but his feelings for her and his need for her is too much to just let her go. She obviously loves him too and is kinda happy with the baby, scared for sure and nervous but also maybe kinda like "oh well, okay" and she tells him, a bit anxious and he isn't too happy about it. He's scared and sad and a little lost and maybe makes this cute sad face like in the gif and basically... Maybe breaks up with her but kind of offers to support her financially even though he doesn't have much.

Warnings: Swearing probably, cause you know it’s me, Angst, Pregnant!Reader, Fluff, Depressed Dean, Self Loathing Dean, I think that’s about it for this one.

Word Count: 2636

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Pregnant!Reader

Want More? Check out my Materslist!

*****MASTERLIST*****

Dean's POV:

Dean closed the door on Baby and stepped out into the cool night air. Walking through a graveyard at night wasn't something normal people did, but I was something Dean had done so often in life that it was more peaceful and natural to him than a walk in the park or a stroll down a dock in the early morning hours. 

The sun hadn't quite broken over the tree line that surrounded this little out of the way place. It was an older cemetery. Most of the people that were buried here had been buried since the late 1800s. The last readable headstone that Dean had found was one from 1903, so he assumed that Mr. Shumbler was the last man who was buried here at the ripe old age of 93, an age that Dean would probably never reach; not with his lifestyle and past anyway. 

He'd done so much wrong in life that it wasn't even going to a question of whether or not he'd done enough good deeds to pass through the pearly gates when he died. 

No his soul had been too marred. 

He'd destroy it. 

Destroy it with trying to do the right thing for everyone else, destroyed it with all the sacrifices he'd made on behalf of his family, friends, and even complete and total strangers, destroyed it when he spent 40 years in hell, destroyed it when he'd taken the Mark of Cain, and destroyed it even further when he'd become a Demon. 

If there even was much of a soul left, it was so twisted and dark that he didn't even think it possible that he was human, yet here he was. Pulling his jacket tighter to his body as he made his way through the garden of stone, listening to wind rustle through the trees above his head. 

His mind drifting to the one good thing that he had. 

Y/N.

She was younger than him, way younger, about 14 years younger. She was only 23 years old, he was 37. Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting the cold air burn deep in his chest before letting it out in a huff of fog as his warm breath met the cold air that was hanging heavy around him.

She was so innocent, trusting. She looked at him like he hung the damn moon! He didn't understand it. How she could see past all that was wrong with him and look at him like she was so madly in love with him that he could do no wrong in her eyes?

He'd even taken her innocents from her. He was her first. She'd never been with another man before him. He was probably gonna spend a special stint on the rack when he finally did get back to hell just for that. 

He could literally close his eyes and feel how tight she was that night as he slid himself into her, connecting their bodies in the most intimate way. The way she clung to him as he thrust himself in and out of her. The bliss that enveloped his body as he finally found his release inside of her. The peace that followed as she slept soundly on his chest, her arms wrapped around him, holding herself close as possible to him.

It was wrong. It shouldn't have been. He shouldn't feel this way. She was too good, too pure, she was perfect, he didn't deserve her, or the comfort that she offered him. He deserved the pain, and devastation for all that he'd done wrong in his life. 

Even though she'd helped him lay down the drugs, he still held tightly to the bottle, and she deserved more than some drunk, who had enough daddy issues to send Dr. Phil to back to school, that had committed crimes and seen things that would make your worst serial killers tremble and cry for their mommies. Hell, he couldn't even give her a damn home, not in this life. The most he could do was move her into the bunker and teach her how to use stolen credit cards and commit tax evasion. 

Is that what he really wanted? To take this pure, innocent, little slice of heaven on earth, and make her into some criminal, something to fit his twisted sick standards?

She didn't deserve that. She deserves someone who could give her a family. A home, a normal life. One not filled with monsters, the biggest of all himself. 

Dean made his way with a heavy heart back to his Baby, his constant... his only real home. 

He knew what he had to do, but that didn't make it any easier. 

She was young. She would recover. Find someone to love her. Someone better than him. 

Him? Well, he'd die alone, cold, twisted, on the end of a blade, gun, or some monster’s snack. That's the life he'd chosen. That's what he deserved.

--------------------------------

Your POV:

Sitting on the side of your tub you stare down at the little white pregnancy test that is showing two very bold pink lines like if you look at it hard enough, it will disappear, or you'd wake up, and this would all be some sort of strange dream.

That wasn't going to happen, that test was very real, and you were very pregnant. The constant headaches, morning/all day sickness, and mood swings told you that the test was indeed accurate. That and the nonexistent period. 

You weren't ready to be a mom, but you also had no desire to change the fact that you were about to be one. It is what it is. Even though you were terrified, this was Dean's child. That means it was part Dean, and part you, the best of the both of you, how could you not love it?

Standing up you made your way with the test in your hands to the kitchen, still staring at it, trying to make it feel real. There was a little life growing inside of you now, and that made you smile. The fact that this little life was part Dean made your heart swell even more. You would have a piece of him with you always, no matter what happens. 

The sound of a pounding on your door made you jump where you were standing. You didn't have a chance to move before you saw the light flood the living room and Dean's voice boomed through the house in his usual deep rumble.

"Y/N? You home?" 

The man never waited on a door to open and you couldn't help but smile at his impatiens. 

"In here!" you yelled just as soon as he rounded the corner. 

You didn't waste any time running to him and throwing your arms around his neck, breathing him in deeply.

"Dean I got good news!" you squeal. 

Dean pulls back from you, his eyes looked tired as he waited for you to say whatever it was that you had to say.

"What?" he asked, almost like he was a little bit afraid to ask.

"You're going to be a daddy!!" you said, beaming, handing him the test that was still in your hand.

The color drained Dean's face as he took the test from you, looking at it closing his eyes for a moment before biting down on his lip and looking at you sadly. This was not the reaction you were expecting from him, and your heart fell to your feet. 

"Y/N," Dean took a deep breath steadying himself. "I came over to tell you that it might be best if we don't see each other anymore... I didn't expect... I don't have much, but I'll do what I can to help support you with this baby if you want to keep it."

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. You stood there dumbfounded. Tears running down your face as your heart shattering into a thousand tiny little pieces on the floor. 

"Dean... Why? I thought? You ...." 

Biting on your lip you turn your back on him. How could he have told you that he loved you, taken your virginity, got you pregnant, and now is standing here telling you that you should go your separate ways? It didn't make sense. You felt used, betrayed.

"Y/N, You're so young. You will find someone a lot better than me I promise you that. You don't need me. I'm a burden to you. Hell, by the time you're just getting going in your life I'll be in my 60's If I even live that damn long. You need someone closer to your age, someone, who can provide a home for you. Someone who can give you more than me. This is wrong. I should have never started dating you. Now I've gone and knocked you up, fucked up your life even more." 

You couldn't look at him. You felt like the breath had been knocked slap out of your chest. Like your heart had absolutely stopped breathing. 

Dean said nothing else, he just turned and left you standing there, letting himself out; not even tell you goodbye. 

Now here you were stuck with a baby, that was part of the man you loved more than life itself, but for some reason, he didn't love you enough to stay. Even after you told him you were going to have his child. 

You didn't know what to do or where to go from here. You didn't even know if you were going to be able to pick yourself up off this floor, because if it wasn't for this baby, if there were no Dean, there was no reason for you to get up and carry on. 

It felt like your whole world had just begun, and then quickly came to an end all in one go. It was almost more than anyone could take. How were you expected to go on from this? Why did he do this to you? More importantly, why if he turned around right now and walked back through that door you would take him back without question?

The thing of it though was Dean didn't come back. 

For six months you went to doctors' appointments, worked, and did everything alone. The only thing you saw of Dean was a scanty check in the mail once a month. The amount varied, but you knew it was all he had. You were surprised he kept his word that far. 

Even all these months you never stopped loving him. 

You found out that you were going to have a little boy, and you decided to name him John because you knew that's what Dean would have wanted. If he would have wanted you...

You left voicemails on his phone after every appointment, giving him updates and things about the baby, and when you found that the baby was going to be a boy, you left the name for his son on the voicemail, hoping that it would draw him out, make him at least talk to you, you wanted more than anything to hear his voice. Just hear him.

----------------------------------

Three days after leaving the voicemail about baby John on Dean's voicemail you were sitting at your bar in the kitchen with the laptop in front of you, looking at baby cribs online, and trying to figure out how the hell you were going to pay for everything you needed for this baby when you heard a knock on your door.

You didn't know who the hell it could have been, because it was ridiculously late, but something drew you to the door. Curiosity? Stupidity? You didn't know, but it was like some strange pull was making you get off your butt and go to the front door. 

You cracked it just enough to see who it was, and when those mossy green eyes that had been haunting your dreams ever since the day he left you met yours, you almost feel flat of your ass.

"Dean!" you said, jerking the door open wider, stepping back for him to come in. 

Cautiously Dean made his way into the house. For a moment you both just stood there, staring at each other. Dean looked thinner, tired, and more worn down than he did even the day that he'd left you, His eyes glued to the baby bump that was strained against your nightshirt, swallowing hard like he was trying to swallow a lump that was stuck in his throat. 

"Dean, what are you doing here?" you finally asked him, starting to get a little worried about his mental state. He looked like he'd been through hell and back. 

"I uh... I don't know where to start," he said, running his hand through his tousled hair. From the looks of it, he'd been doing that a lot tonight.

"I can't stay away from you anymore. I miss you Y/N. I know that you have every right to tell me to go fuck off. You told me we were having a baby, and I.. I just walked away like a total and complete Jackass. I didn't even," Dean took a ragged breath like he was trying to keep the title wave of emotions at bay that was threatening to flow over the walls that were built up so high around him.

"Y/N I love you, I never stopped loving you, I left because I thought I was doing you a favor, I thought that you would be able to find someone to take care of you, someone better than me, but Baby I'm selfish, and I just can't let you go. I need you."

He made a cautious step towards you, then another when he saw that you weren't going to slap him or tell him to leave. He closed the distance between you, placing his lips to yours in a desperate kiss, putting all he had in it, trying to convey every unspoken word, every feeling that he couldn't say, every I'm sorry all in one long, tender kiss; finally breaking away when you both had to breath.

You blinked for a moment and tried to clear your thoughts. This was the moment that you'd been waiting for, praying for, now here it was, and you wanted to pinch yourself. Reaching up you placed your hand on the side of Dean's face and he leaned into your touch, closing his eyes a single tear slipping down his cheek and you wiped it away with your thumb.

"Dean, I love you too. I never stopped either. I'm so glad your home. I've waited for you all this time hoping and praying that you'd see how much I loved you and come home. I don't care that you have a bad past. I don't care that you can't give me all those things that you think that I want, because the house and picket fence isn't what I see when I look at the future. All I see is you, and if we have to live in a cardboard box under a bridge, that's okay, cause I have you, you're all I ever wanted. Period. Nothing else. You and our son. He needs his daddy to Dean.”

Dean brushed his lips over yours again. Burying his face in your neck. 

"How do we start over from here?" Dean asked.  

You both knew that there was so much scares and hurt on the both of you that you were going to take time to get back were you, but you were willing to take as long as it takes. Just as long as he kept his arms wrapped around you like they were right now.

"Let's just start at the beginning, take our time, and one step at a time we will figure this out together." 

Because that's all that mattered, as long as you, Dean, and this baby, that's all you'd ever need. 

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Tag List:

@deanwanddamons​​ @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @akshi8278​ @alanegaming​

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

I tried to ignore this last night but, typical of me being late to everything, I’m starting to realize that it actually is kind of bothering me.

After my mom got home from work, she was about to tell me something about her coworker but interrupted herself by asking me, “Why does everyone call the person they’re dating their ‘partner’? Why can’t I call the person I’m dating ‘my boyfriend’ anymore?” and I had to pause and give her an unimpressed look because I was thinking about how, even recently, she claimed to follow a bunch of activists on Instagram and I thought (and wanted to say but didn’t want to cause a huge argument), ‘You say you follow all these activists on IG but you don’t know why it’s important that people call their significant other(s) their “partner”?’ but then I finally explained it to her and she actually never even finished telling me her story because I was trying to cook for us and she got fed up with me being distracted by cooking and lamenting over the mess that my cooking attempt had made...that actually she interfered with that caused the mess AHHHHHH. NOTE TO SELF: STOP ASKING FOR HELP WITH STUPID SHIT THAT YOU KNOW HOW TO DO, WHAT THE FUCK, OH MY GOD. I’m literally, like. Why. Why am I like that. I can’t ask for help with really, really big and significant stuff but I can ask for help about making spaghetti sauce. Not that I’ve done it more than once but STILL I KNEW WHAT TO DO BUT I ASKED FOR GUIDANCE ANYWAY, THAT’S SO STUPID OF ME OH MY GOD. It’s because my self-esteem is that of a bruised apple. Gah.

But anyway, what really bothers me is that she was so defensive about feeling pressured to use the term “partner” that she said “I’m never going to be with a woman!” as though that was the only thing that hypothetically necessitated the referential term “partner.” And I could be wrong, especially because I’ve only sort of identified as bi since 2018 and besides on here, I really haven’t “come out” yet, it just made me feel like...so is that what homophobia feels like? Especially when it comes from your family?

When I came out to my mom (in 2018), she was just like “Um, okay...good for you? It doesn’t matter to me/affect my acceptance or love for you” but maybe, even if you’re accepted and loved even on behalf of your sexuality, there are still other/little things that can contend with that because heterosexuality/heteronormativity is still the norm and it’s ESPECIALLY still the norm for my mom.

This also shows me that WOW, YEAH, THIS is exactly why I don’t intend to come out to like anyone in my family. Because my family’s Southern and racist and my grandmother is literally homophobic and I got in an argument with my oldest aunt about eating at Ch*ck-f*l-A with my oldest cousin, thus contributing to the restaurant’s literally homophobic agenda, the last time I saw her last Novemeber. At this point it’s why I don’t even really care if they care about me anymore or not. I just know, if they really knew me or listened to me, they wouldn’t support me. I mean, MAYBE unless I was actually dating someone and it seemed relevant I would tell them, though not with the expectation that they would support or accept me. But especially as long as it’s not relevant, nope to the fuck way! Will not be doing that! Tbh I probably wouldn’t even tell my oldest cousins (who are 8+ years younger than me! 🙃) which sucks because if anyone’s gonna be progressive and accepting, it’s the younger generation, right? But it’s overwhelmingly obvious to me how much privilege these girls have and were raised with. Even though I don’t know them, like, at all anymore (not like when they were younger), I still just don’t think they would be able to even voluntarily peek through their privilege to consider perspectives outside what shaped theirs. It hurts me to give up so easily on them, but yeah. I know what my family is like. I don’t need more evidence. Although idk maybe I could tell my youngest aunt since she had a gay best friend who I think she’d been friends with since high school/college or even earlier?. But she seems different now that she has kids. She doesn’t seem as radical as she used to be anymore, so yeah, I’m not convinced it’d be a good experience to tell her, either.

[soldrawss]

Don't read unless you have watched the new episode. But the whole time I watched it I was thinking how it pretty wild that your comic and the episode are basically the same.

 OK I HAVE FINALLY WATCHED THE EPISODE AND BOY WHOO HOO HOWDY I’M GONNA INCLUDE MY THOUGHTS UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE I KNOW A FEW OTHERS HAVE YET TO SEE IT AS WELL AND I DON’T WANT TO SPOIL ANYTHING BUT WHOO LETS GO BABES

SO first off I’m just gonna say that I LOVED the episode. Really and truly honestly I did.  I don’t think there were any major things that I didn’t like tbh. It was such a truthfully wholesome episode. And I’m actually happy with the amount of screen time we got with Scrooge and his insight with Christmas. 

HOWEVER. I wish it was a 45-minute special. Because I think we could have absolutely dived MUCH deeper into the relationship between 1) Younger Donald and Dewey and 2) (the most important) DONALD AND DELLA. I mean like HOLY SHIT. I have to collect my thoughts together really quick cause I’m gonna explode just going on about the sibling relationship going on there so let me backtrack really quick and start from the beginning.

First and foremost. The set up to the episode was great. The kids getting ready for Christmas. Webby’s little hug to Huey and Huey’s patient little smile back to her. Louie’s X-mas list and his “let me explain”, like yes my son, own it. Donald being his best dad self, decorating and STILL playing guitar and singing awful carols at the top of his lungs like, we stan a good good duck dad!!! Literally, everyone is top notch just being great! 

Then we get to plot. The ghosts are back in town. And they’re ready to get down and dirty and party and I LIVE for the idea that they were originally looking for a different Scrooge and that OUR Scrooge actually LOVES Christmas (And I’m so glad that we still don’t know why Scrooge has beef with Santa cause like, that’s potential for future X-Mas episodes and I’m all about having more mysteries to look forward to alright?) So we get it. Party on Scrooge lets go back in time!!!

So we’re 12 minutes in, more Scrooge stuff happens (Which I adore. Love that they brought back Goldy. Love that Young Scrooge is so passive about seeing Old Scrooge. LOVE that BEAKLY fucking FLIRTS with the GRIM REAPER SKJD;S GET IT GIRL LOVE THAT) And super double plot twist is that little jimmy cricket over here is actually like, kinda evil? Well not evil, but he’s a little-twisted buddy, which isn’t his fault, but he just wants to party and feels like everyone abandons him when once they find the true meaning of Christmas (being with family) Which Scrooge does. Which also, can we appreciate how fast it takes for Scrooge to be like, yeah I’m bored of this adventure stuff, can I just go home to my family now? It may have just been the episode time frame but IDK man, I feel like he’s growing from once being bitter to becoming that good old family man again. Good, good old man, I love him. 

ANYWAY- NOW LETS GET DOWN TO THE JUICY HALF OF THE EPISODE AND THE HALF THE EVERYONE WANTS MORE OF INCLUDING MYSELF

OK So here we see Dewey hitch a ride on grims cloak and fall into let’s say around 25+ years in the past. The FIRST thing I noticed and the first shot we get is a mere parallel to the one we see when Scrooge first falls in the past. Its a shot of the mansion. But as opposed to the shot where Scrooge falls during a Christmas where his mansion is LIT the fuck up with lights and sounds and color and LIFE, Dewey sees it dark and practically dead, but still recognizably the Mc’Duck Mansion. One of the next shots we see takes place inside, and we see the mansion (remember this duck is a billionaire) with the wallpaper peeling and the walls cracking and hardly lit and it looks absolutely deserted and kinda uncared for which BREAKS MY HEART OK!!! 

(But I’m so glad I at least got the scene right where Dewey’s first interaction with Donald is through his music and that Dewey could guess it was Donald through his Voice™!!! Also, should have thought of Bluey. That was SO much better than Deuteronomy. But oh well! Got the fake family part right! And the fact that Donald knew she was out back looking fo Santa and was trying to catch Santa for Scrooge. That last part wasn’t in the comic, but that was going to be the original idea for part 4 and FUCK YEAH I WAS ON A ROLL)

And ohhhh when Donald says this is the most confusing family! Ouufff that hit me so hard!!! Cause like, honestly, in canon, Donald is SO proud of his heritage and family line. He’s the only Disney character to really even HAVE a family tree, are you kidding me?

Also Dewey just Yeeting himself out a window with Donald’s guitar as Leverage was such a good idea I wish I would have thought of it and I’m SO ANGRY that I didn’t but I guess if I had then technically I would have been a mind reader or actually stealing from the show so good job me for NOT doing that but I at least got them Escaping out the window part down so WOOP FOR that!

ALSO DONALD JUST STRAIGHT UP LICKING THE TREE! WONDERFUL GOOD BOY AND LIKE!!! AND LIKE!!! OK I kinda played around with the idea that Donald kinda just does stuff without explanation and when someone asks we gives off these weird oneliners that don’t really answer the question of WHY he did/was doing the thing in the first place is something I absolutely live for and both his interactions within my comic and in the show are so parallel with one another that I’m actually mind freaked right now I want to scream I fucking love these kids ok?!?!?

So I could probably live for the next 30 years off of just Dewey and Donald just talking to each other like, it was probably only 40 seconds of conversation, but I lived for every second like it was the only thing that mattered!!! Just Dewey being so Hecking Excited to learn more about Della from someone willing to talk to him without any trauma™ and I LOVED how Donald never outrightly admitted that Della wasn’t Amazing or Awesome (Dewey said it at least twice when referring to Della) and just changed the subject. Like, true sibling love. (I would have also accepted if he had called her a nerd or a geek or something similar because they are siblings after all, like jeezus the whole episode was mostly about their fight like, anything is great, give me them sibling dynamics)

OK AND THEN THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

DELLA MY SWEET BABY GIRL APPEARS AND SHE IS MY EVERYTHING

OK honestly I was gonna draw her with a bit more messy hair but OTHERWISE SHE’S PERFECT. AND HER’S AND DONALDS IMMEDIATE BICKERING IS MY FAVORITE EVER. (And tbh her reaction to them NOT being Santa clause and honestly that entire net scene was also gonna be my reaction so don’t be surprised when you see that in upcoming continuation of my comic) (Also her calling Dewey a Dummy, is ACE)

So their whole fight scene going on. The whole Dumbella incident. You can just FEEL the sibling energy off of it. I ate that shit up SO FAST. I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. (I WANT SO MUCH MORE OF THAT STUFF PLEASE DT CREW GIVE US A FLASHBACK EPISODE OF THE COUSINS I NEEEEEEED IT) If you’ve ever had a sibling then you KNOW. You know that look when Della got when Donald called her Dumbella. The No, not until you apologize she gave back. The FOR WHAT?? The endless back and forth that would have continued onward for a LONG time if they weren’t in impending doom. Man that’s the shit right there. That’s really all I wanted I could have had a full 45 minutes of just THAT right there. Just these kids being siblings.

(Also, Donald outing himself about the toothbrush and combat boots, he’s so gonna pay for that later I can feel it in my bones and I live for these moments kids)

AND THEN WE GET THE FIRST HEARTBREAKER OF THE NIGHT FOLKS, when Dewey figures out why Della’s so peeved at Donald (rightfully so) and it’s just!!! It’s just so good that all Della really wanted was to spend time with Donald and make a memory of it and catch Santa together and folks I would be lying to you and to God and to our Lord and savior Carl Barks if I said that I didn’t cry, these siblings are so good. (And the fact that Dewey also made a quick connection to himself, like, ohhh yeah I need to also be better and apologize to MY family and give MY Donald a hug when I get home)

NOW SHIT GETS REAL!!! The way Donald and Della land after getting free from the net. These kids were BORN for adventuring. This isn’t their first rodeo and this is what I want to see more of!!! Donald and Della as the fighting duo!!! (Dewey totally face planted my smol blue bean I love you) Della gets into fighting position ready to go, and Donald flips his hair back outta the way like so cool and nonchalantly LIKE DREAM TEAM SO COOL I LOVE THEEEEEMMMM!!! aND THEN when they find out the Wendigo is after Scrooge, They’re all like, “of, yeah, duh, Its always scrooge,” and then IMMEDIATELY GO AFTER HIM IN PERFECT FIGHTING SYNC LIKE THESE ARE 10-YEAR-OLDS AND THEY FIGHT LIKE THEY HAVE BEEN FIGHTING ON SCROOGE’S BEHALF FOR YEARS AND IM!!! (there’s so much fanfic potential here i’m screaming) And Dewey’s kinda just standing back like, Woah nelly, CAUSE LOOK AT THESE DUCK CHILDREN GO!!! LOOK AT MY LITTLE FIGHTING REBEL KIDS I ;KLD’KLASJ’F I LOVE THEM!!!

(Also, shout out to the last episode, in which we see that Donald kept the broken guitar under hammock all those years, he never could manage to through the thing away, i love this temperamental kid so much guys i’m crying again) But I’m glad we got to see Wee angry Donald!!! That was a fun thing I’m glad they put that in!!!

And now for the final! I’M glad Donald apologized rightly and straight away and wholeheartedly! That’s the good boy I know and Love! And Dewey going in for the hug!!! So sweet!!! But also!!! Della like, immediately figuring out that Dewey was from the future, I kinda like that! I wasn’t going to do it, but I like it! Love how smart she is and just how nonchalant they both are about it cause hey, have you MET their family? I like how they say Ducks, too. Not Mc’Ducks. Like, Scrooge is Weird and they do all sorts of crazy stuff with him, but you haven’t SEEN crazy till you’ve met the hick side of the family.

And then it’s like, just like that, they’re gone! And ouufff boy that was not the goodbye I was expecting but sometimes goodbyes are like that and that’s ok and I respect the out the DT crew took cause it flowed so nicely and well but boy did it hurt. (Can you imagine Donald and Della coming back with THEN Scrooge with this whole explanation to find nothing there and Scrooge being like???? Ack you kids leave me alone I hate Christmas as it is I don’t need you all playing tricks on me with fake Wendigos and family members from the futures when I have important things to do bah humbug or something and Donald and Della just have to live with this knowledge but at least they have each other and are closer for the better!!!) Because then Scrooge was there and THEN DEWEY WAS CRYING AND THERE’S JUST SO MANY EMOTIONS CAN YOU IMAGINE ALL THE EMOTIONS THIS KID IS GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW AND HE JUST WANTS TO GO HOME AND SEE HIS UNCLE DONALD AND BROTHERS AND WEBBY AND JUST BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS AND ACK.

AND GOSH WAS THE DONALD DEWEY HUG JUST SO GOOD AS WELL AS THE DOGPILE LITERALLY GIVE ME ALL THE HUGS, I WANT THEM ALL THIS IS SUCH A WHOLE GOOD EPISODE!!! All in all, 10/10 Was very good. Could I have loved more of just about EVERYTHING? yes, but I can make my own content if I need to fulfill my wishes. Overall, there was nothing that disappointed me, which was so good. I wasn’t let down by the interpretations of the characters, the morals, or how the storyline went. Could we have made it into a 45-minute episode and just like, extended every conversation? Yes. But plot? Solid. Characters? Solid. Relations? Super solid. Did Sol cry? She did and she will again cause she just loves these good characters so hecking much!!! Donald is my all time favorite Disney character on the planet and just the fact that he gets so much love and attention and just all the beautiful backstory and rick history is such a beautiful gift that just keeps on giving! 

Also, FULL Disclosure, Im gonna continue part 3, 4 and 5 of my version of how I thought this episode was gonna go. Simply because, well, I liked it. And I think you all will like it to.  

[myheartisbro-ken]

Hi! 💙 I hope your are doing well. Congrats on the article. The reading will probably be okay. Are you a fast or slow reader? I read rather slowly, especially if I'm enjoying what I'm reading. It sticks with me better that way, but it takes me longer to do things. 😅 My semester ends next week, then have finals period. l'm taking Summer courses tho to get ahead. I get what you mean. I don't party, but around TH and F there's a certain restlessness about some of the students to drink/part. (Pt 1)

Ugh, I hate group work. 😐 Best of luck to you. Maybe your for a decent group. Anyway, I prefer morning courses. I get up at an obnoxiously early time to attend though. I’m fine with it though because it lets me take my courses in a block with out breaks, so once I’m done, I’ll be done for the day. 😥 Probably an unpopular schedule though. Oh, so My Immortal can actually be constructive to writers. That makes sense. It’s what a writer shouldn’t ever do. About JK, I think it’s an attempt (pt 2)(pt 3) Lowkey don’t recall my train of thought..Anyway, wow, I definitely agree with your statements about Lena knowing Kara’s dual identity. Snapper knowing wouldn’t help anything, since he’s too minor a character to do anything useful with information. Lena knowing would create more depth, tension, plot possibilities etc., which is why’d it would be a shame for her to be left in the dark. Also, I feel her not knowing (or at least theorizing Kara’s supergirl) is ooc. I suppose the writers– –haven’t had an issue with that based on what they’ve done to Alex. :-/ Hmph. I’m still so annoyed about that. Partially, because I’m a SuperCorp shipper, but mainly because it’s an insult to Alex’s personality to force her to advocate on Mon El’s behalf. Who was your favorite character from S1, btw? I’d probably go with Kara, but for S2 it’s definitely Lena. Anyway, yes Lena looks so amazing in the trailer! Heh, I intended it to be a soft FMK…I was going to make it all Katie, but wasn’t–(4)–words, words, something, but wasn’t going to be that cruel to you. (Hopefully that fit with my previous thing). Smh, you’ve no qualms though do you? ;-) I’m kidding. Your answers were well thought out…even though you didn’t kill anyone. I can’t blame you though. I don’t think Red K! Kara is all that bad, but she’s definitely intimidating, so is Kate. Anyway, let’s see FMK: Lena, Morgana,and Kate… :-/ 3 M'kay, that’s hard, especially since I love them all and ship SuperCorp. (5 TBC)–words, words, something, but wasn’t going to be that cruel to you. (Hopefully that fit with my previous thing). Smh, you’ve no qualms though do you? ;-) I’m kidding. Your answers were well thought out…even though you didn’t kill anyone. I can’t blame you though. I don’t think Red K! Kara is all that bad, but she’s definitely intimidating, so is Kate. Anyway, let’s see FMK: Lena, Morgana,and Kate… :-/ 3 M'kay, that’s hard, especially since I love them all and ship SuperCorp. (5 TBC)(6) Uh, let’s see. I’m going to assume they are all brought to current times, so the 21st century. I would marry Morgana. You know what? I’d marry Morgana S1 or S5 because I’ve so many emotions for her and what she went through. I’d want her to know someone would be on (*cough* and by *cough*) her side. Also, she has magic that’s cool, but not the point. I don’t really want Supergirl to kill me or be sad. I wouldn’t kill Lena as of now; she’s not done anything wrong. Also, her company is (TBC)(8?) So, yes: M:Morgana, F: Lena, K: Kate. Hmm, I see yours and raise you: FMK: Lucy, she’s a vampire now but has some control over it | Kara Danvers, more so S1 in personality, but she’s still elects to become a reporter and encourages you | Lena, before she met Kara and is still learning to be a CEO…I guess that’s a younger!Lena? Idk. Okay, that should work. I hope you have a good day and night. Do you read comics? I don’t, but was curious if you did. U seem to know some lore. :-)

Heyyy! I’m not so sure I’m a fast or slow reader, it depends on my state of mind, if I take my meds and external interruptions. Usually I can read pretty fast if it’s something I’m interested in but I tend to miss things and have to read it again, with school things I’m the worst. I still have things from last year that I never got around to read and one of them was about superman (I miss studying cinema because we could have an entire class about superman and co and then write fanfiction of the world as an activity). We don’t have summer classes here, that sounds interesting, it’d be nice to get ahead, also it’s about to be winter here so after July we’ll get maybe a month off and then it’s back to being unresponsible adults. I’ve nothing against drinking and partying, I like drinking (parties are usually weird but sometimes it’s cool) but don’t freaking leave class to do it, go after the class, how disrespectful is it to leave the poor teacher there waiting 20 minutes to see if the rest of the class will show up or they’ll have to do with six or seven people? Also you pay over 1.000 bucks a month to study and you don’t give a shit about being in class? it’s throwing money away and it’s disrespectful to whoever is paying school, even if that someone is yourself. I’m not those kids that say you should only do what’s right and never skip class never drink or do anything because you have to study instead of throwing your life away. But school is expensive and respect is something you should have for everyone (unless someone is a jerk, because it’s not murder if the person is a jerk…jk)

I never liked studying in the mornings but it’s sort of better, however, my classes only exist at night, there is morning journalism classes, but it’s in another neighborhood and we have to cross the bridge and there’s no cool campus. I like my campus.

group projects are the worst. They end friendships, they end marriages, they end happiness, they lead to murder… it’s never fun. I always imagine that scene with the guy getting pizza and coming back to the place on fire and people bleeding, or that one from Mean Girls with the fighting over Aaron Samuels in animal style. Those are the only representations of group projects that are realistic.

I love how you just started to talk about JK, had two words in and

Honestly Alex has been so ooc this season it’s almost sad. No offense to Sanvers, but I think even that relationship is a bit ooc. Not the fact that there is a relationship but how it is being handled. Not gonna go into it cuz I don’t want to rant here. but I would ship Sanvers if they had put a bit more of effort into getting them together not ‘I don’t want a baby gay rn, so let’s be friends. PSYCHE I just got shot in the most harmless area of my entire body, let's make out!’

The same Alex that thought James wasn’t good enough for Kara and decked Maxwell Lord for existing would never make excuses for someone that is basically the dumb alien version of Lord with worse hair and more aggression and more pretending to be a #goodguy who’s just trying so hard and changed because after 9 months on earth as a grown man he decided to read a book, feed himself and clean his own mess… or pretend to clean his own mess while Kara actually does it and he just sits there and says she’s annoying because she doesn’t want to run away from her problems. (hey look, ranting… she said with surprise in her voice for some reason)

My favorite character was definitely Cat… and Kara. Both at the same time, I can’t choose between them, please don’t make me. and now it’s Lena… and still Kara even though she’s basically dead inside and that girl who cries because her boyfriend is moving away and it will destroy her life because that person she knows nothing about and met 9 months ago when he tried to kill her and has been lying to her and shoving her self-esteem down ever since is apparently the most important person in her life and she can’t live without him. he cooked her breakfast so he can’t move away and face his responsibilities, she’s the best thing he’s ever known, not person, thing. That woman in the best thing… god, this is so gross I cannot continue even to joke about this. so yeah, Kara is SUPER ooc this season, but I still love her and have faith she will recover from this terrible illness and come back to us, I miss her.

Yes! I would totally still marry Morgana even season 5 Morgana. poor thing just needs a hug and a friend to tell her she’s not a monster for being born different. I might start crying now so I’ll change topics. 

Definitely Marry Kara, no questions asked. Fuck Lena because, I mean, just look at her. And Kill Lucy, my poor bby, but she’s a vampire so she has to go, control or not, ‘vegetarian’ vampires are dumb.

I do read comics, not as much as I’d like, but I also watched all of the DC cartoons (minus Legion because it looks dumb) most of Smallville and Lois & Clark and when I want to know some more I read about the storylines and all, like even when I don’t read the comic itself, I read about the comic. I won’t say I know all about everything, but I can hold my ground, I guess, I’m also not above admitting I don’t know/haven’t read enough about one subject/character and reading about that on one of the sites I trust. Also watched a lot of Marvel cartoons and most of the movies aaaand I read a lot of Marvel comics, specially Balck Widow, Hawkeye, and Young Avengers.

Did you watch any superhero cartoons? They were a pretty big deal in the 90′s and early 2000′s.

Hope you have a great day and night 💙😊