#oh and there’s no curve 😍 the final is my last chance to get the minimum passing grade for credit but i have like a 1% chance of that

[invisiblecities1972]

i’m actually looking forward to getting my grade back for this exam bc i already know i failed so now i’m curious as to just how badly i did

[daegorth]

😭😭😭😭

Oh god, I'm honestly both thrilled that this is your response and a bit sorry that you have to see all my weird ass posts 💀💀💀

And yeah, craziest match I have seen in a while, I went through a rollercoaster of emotions🥲

Yes, EVERYTHING that could have happened happened:

We got scored on two minutes in but it was disallowed.

Messi goal from a Jordi assist (classic them, like it hasn't been two and a half years without playing together) before the tenth minute

We went 2 goals down TWICE, TWICE I TELL YOU!!!!

Our defence was scrambling all over the place, completely paper-thin and torn apart with a single pass too many times to count and too slow to catch up to the attacker. I cannot remember how many times Dallas ended up in a one on one against our goalkeeper but it was too goddamn many. 3-1

The instant a 18yo argentinian Miami player gets off the bench, he scores a banger and gives us a bit of hope. 2-3 Now we are only one down, maybe we still got this.

Nope. We don't got this. A couple of minutes later WE SCORE A FUCKING AWFUL OWN GOAL. JUST.... IT ROLLED IN SOO SLOWLY, HOW COULD YOU NOT REACH IT CALLENDER???? DON'T YOU KNOW THE WHOLE WORLD IS WATCHING YOU???

I sigh in disbelieving outrage, the match is done, we are 4-2 down with 10 minutes to go, there's absolutely no way we win this. I contemplate going to sleep because I have work in the morning.

I CANNOT. Messi has a free kick. It's in a weird position but I've seen him do weirder, so I have to stay. He crosses it instead of going for goal. Beautiful, wicked curve, pinpoint accuracy in front of the net, my heart is in my throat but I'm already feeling disappointment creeping in because nobody's there. EXCEPT!!!!! A FUCKING DALLAS PLAYER (GOD BLESS HIS CONFUSED, DEHYDRATED, GASSED SOUL) HAS A BRAINFART AND ENDS UP HEADING THE BALL INTO HIS OWN NET WITH THE FORCE OF A CANNON. I cannot comprehend wtf just happened. I can only assume that he just saw his only opportunity to get an assist from Messi and took it, because it looks so deliberate that I'm questioning if someone has called him at half time and set him up for life if he just did the funniest, most awful thing he could do. The look of despair on his face as soon as he realizes what he's done makes me start giggling like a lunatic.

I'm pumped but still sure we're going to lose. Except that Messi looks like he's smelling the next goal and every Miami player starts playing like their life depends on it.

We get a free kick. YESSSSS! Leo doesn't go for goal but tries a prepared play to Robert Taylor that doesn't work. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭.

While in the middle of losing the ball and with it Miami's last chance of equalising, Taylor gets fouled outside of the area. OH GOD YEEEEESSSS!!!! It's in Messi's preferred side of the pitch. 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍.

It's the last minutes of the game. If it goes in it would be a third Messi brace in a row, his 7th goal in 4 matches, his 2nd free kick goal in the leagues Cup, it would literally be him dragging his team behind him as he claws his way out of a bad defeat.

The madman does it.

HOW??????? It's a beautiful, beautiful free kick, right into the corner. I tear up because this man cannot be real.

The match goes from 4-2 to 4-4 with 5 minutes to spare.

The final whistle blows and now I have to ready myself for a penalty shootout. I feel sick with excitement and anxiety because for some godforsaken reason I got so invested in this team that I'm giggling and trembling on my sofa, at 5.30 in the morning, watching a FUCKING MLS MATCH. How has this become my life????? (I know, I know, it's a cup game, not MLS, but it's the easiest way to express my absolute bafflement with wtf I'm doing)

I bite my nail as I watch Messi walk up to the spot. He has to do it. He cannot fuck this up. He cannot. (I'm having flashbacks to the pen he skied in 2016. The magnitude of the moment is hilariously dwarfed by that memory, but not even his absolute cold-blooded pens in the WC can make me less nervous).

He scores. GOD THANK YOU. I WOULD HAVE HAD TO HEAR SO MUCH BULLSHIT IF HE HADN'T DONE THAT. Thank whoever taught him how to take pens, seriously. They look so badass now.

They win 4-4 (5-3).

THEY WON???? HOW???? The last half hour feels like a fever dream. I unclench my jaw and flop back on the sofa. I stare unseeingly at the ceiling pondering my priorities and the bad choices I have made to end up here.

I scroll through reddit and laugh. Then I go to work.

Yeah.... I've had a nightTM.

Please behold. A collection:

This match was surreal, by the 60th minute I felt like I was on mushrooms, I had to bite my fist to stop myself from screaming or laughing hysterically because it was 5am and everybody was sleeping. By the time the match ended and my heart rate had slowed down enough that I wasn't on the edge of a heart attack it was 6.30 and I had to go to work lmao.