#oh and then he just stays with the organization who kidnapped him because welp all in this together

[ask-cloverfield]

I am still amazed that the Halo decided to do a whole John recognizes the Spartan Program bad actually and what happened to him was wrong storyline

And instead of him having to like confront the things he was taught, recognize how toxic his relationship with Mendez and Halsey is or like analyze the stuff about himself being nothing more than a tool and a schoolyard bully who therefore deserved it he has internalized

He just had his memories blocked, gets them unblocked and Oh Halsey bad :)! Growth over indoctrination cancelled!

[langwrites]

Lang Plays Fire Emblem: Three Houses

I’m playing them in this order: Blue Lions, Black Eagles, Church of Seiros, and then Golden Deer. (I organized them by how likely it is to have a true final boss who is actually as relevant to the lore as the opening cutscene. And also because I thoroughly spoiled myself about that.)

So, after sinking what the game tells me was eighty hours into a single playthrough, here’s my thoughts on the first thing I tackled.

Spoilers below the cut.

Very Early Game (Blue Lions):

It’s the Fire Emblem Dad! (I played Path of Radiance. I’ve seen this dude before.)

Hi Claude. Sorry, I’m gonna steal every single one of your peers I can catch. Same to you, Edelgard.

Dimitri is so awkward it’s almost palpable.

Aww, Ashe and Annette are adorable. Mercedes has that dead anime mom hairstyle that sets my teeth on edge, but she’s super nice. It’ll take me longer to warm up to the boys, I think.

Felix is the token “I MUST BECOME STRONGER” myrmidon character. Gotta have at least one per game, apparently.

Sylvain = Sain. Token womanizer cavalier. His support list is pretty odd, though.

Dedue = the guy who done punch things. And he *has* to punch things, because he’s slow as hell and his speed growth isn’t great.

What the fuck is that strength growth, Dimitri. What the fuck is that Charm growth.

I was so close to making him my team’s designated Dancer unit, you guys.

Beleth is gonna be their teacher and somehow I don’t imagine this going super well.

Pre-Timeskip School Life:

Once again, I regret not being able to support with characters who’ve firmly attached themselves to the other two houses. (Which is only like three people in my “gotta catch ‘em all” playthrough, but whatever.)

But I can support all the recruitables, which is...something that took me a long while to do.

The first person I stole for the Blue Lions was Caspar. The first person who straight-up joined was Flayn. Yay, auxiliary punchers and auxiliary-auxiliary healers!

Ashe, your adoptive father really didn’t need to die. You were right. It was all bad all the way down.

Flayn gets kidnapped and I fuck around for a month raising everyone else’s supports and realizing Seteth’s too distraught to train my Lance level. Dangit.

I missed the opportunity to support with Leonie entirely because her personality put me off for the first few in-game months, and it turns out you can only start her support chain while Jeralt is alive.

Dammit. Now I’ve gotta train with lances.

What’s-his-fuck over at the village sure did do a thing, didn’t he. And if he hadn’t dropped his disguise just then he could have gotten away with it.

Their scheme would’ve failed faster if anybody around this fucking monastery could apply logic to shapeshifter shenanigans.

Seriously, no one should have trusted Monica.

You vanish over the course of a year, and come back with your personality totally inverted.

Tomas/Solon had just demonstrated what it looks like when these dickbags drop cover, and then everyone subsequently failed to make the correct deduction. If they hadn’t, Jeralt would’ve lived.

Dad-stabbing: A theme of Fire Emblem games. Seriously. Check out the huge list of dead dads (which goes all the way back to the first game in the series.)

Also dead moms, but for some reason moms are less prominent in the series as a whole.

For the purposes of this analysis, we are also including every single boss who had kids. Which isn’t most of them, but god damn there are still a lot of dead dads.

Dorotheaaaaaa be my frieeeeeeend

Yoinked Linhardt after finally showering him in enough gifts to get his sleepy ass to sign transfer papers.

Swiped Marianne, Bernadetta, Petra, Ignatz, Alois (kinda), Shamir (sorta), Manuela (iffy), Hanneman (yoink), Catherine (see previous), Hilda (how), Lorenz (woop woop), and Leonie (sigh).

The Death Knight remains, for the moment, unpillaged for his Dark Seal drops. This time it was an accident: I killed everyone else in the room except for him and a priest/mage, but then that last dude squared up with Felix and died.

All the points I poured into their associated skills and their supports, however, left one big gap:

DAMMIT FERDINAND, I’M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE. WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT HEAVY ARMOR. RAPHAEL JOINED UP DESPITE THAT.

(I got a B-rank support with him and he popped into my office to say he was transferring, nbd. Ferdinand’s B-rank is locked until after the timeskip.)

tl;dr: The only recruitable character I missed was Ferdinand.

Seteth and Gilbert don’t do shit until post-timeskip and Rhea isn’t playable, so w/e.

As soon as I say that, Seteth and Flayn have a paralogue. It’s a beach level. I hate beach levels and desert levels. Seteth gets to be MVP because he’s the only jerk who can fly.

They have a little speech after the paralogue level that reveals that they’re actually father and daughter, not siblings. And the whole story of this little subplot basically confirms that they’re dragons.

Neither of them transform over the course of the game, and that’s okay.

Ruh-roh, Raggy. Let’s see who’s really under the Flame Emperor’s mask--

“AND I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT TOO, IF NOT FOR--oh wait teleportation exists. BYE!”

Dimitri proceeds to thoroughly lose any chill he ever pretended to have, and I’m 99% sure the villain in question isn’t actually old enough to have caused the Tragedy of Duscur. Unless the biographies in the notes were lying.

Now, the backup dancers over there sure as shit are, but logical reasoning has its time and place.

Whatever. Time for stabbing.

WE ALREADY KNOW THESE PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF MAKING THEMSELVES LOOK LIKE ANYONE, MASKS TOTALLY UNNECESSARY. THE VICTIM ONLY HAS TO DISAPPEAR FOR A WHILE.

WHY AREN’T WE CHECKING THAT AS A BASIC PRECAUTION.

THERE HAVE BEEN THREE OF THESE CREEPS ALREADY.

Their name is too long and I should call them Morlocks.

But seriously, check for infiltrators.

What passes for strategy around here: Take Paladin Dimitri, plunk his overleveled ass down on a corner where all the enemies’ targeting reticles converge, and wait five minutes for all the counterkill animations to play out.

If I wanna try the same with Sylvain, he needs to be backed up by at least Annette and probably Felix. Maybe even Mercedes if she’s not already busy slinging Physics around.

Dimitri’s fine with just sitting around with a forged Steel Lance and poking holes in everything.

Beleth can do the same, but is much more reliant on dodging and not just facetanking axes.

The little “no damage!” sound effect is still very satisfying. Yes, game, my Defense/Resistance has escaped the bounds of your damage curve.

Dorothea became my Dancer unit, because despite Dimitri having twenty-eight Charm to her nineteen, he begged me not to and also is better sitting on a corner and killing everything.

Huh, the monastery is sure being invad--you know, Edelgard, if it wasn’t already really obvious that your faction is basically the “villain route” in Samurai Warriors parlance, using giant mop-headed demonic beasts as shock troops would probably give it away to observers. If they weren’t already running away in abject terror.

The principle from How to Train Your Dragon still applies: A downed dragon is a dead dragon. If Rhea didn’t want to basically get mobbed, she should’ve stayed in the air and acted as flying artillery for the Knights of Seiros with her mouth laser. She could’ve sat on top of a wall and fired with relative impunity.

Sure, some demonic beasts can fly, but there weren’t any in that cutscene and the flying ones have, mechanically, one less health meter than the landbound ones.

Also, they’re pushovers.

And there’s the washed-out creep brigade! They look like the Grimleal, but with more feathers and less of a tan.

...And there goes Beleth, off to have a five-year nap.

Welp.

Post Timeskip:

Oh good, it’s been five years. Beleth, I hate to break it to you, but you’re probably at least slightly dragon at this point. Check your ears if you have a chance.

Tiki canonically napped for like 99% of her three thousand years in Awakening, ironically enough, so it’s not like dragon-people are exactly early risers.

Poor rando gets asked “what year is it” like that question is ever used outside of fiction. Beleth doesn’t read time travel books, I take it.

“oh you probably shouldn’t go to the monastery, it’s like super haunted and shit”

“sorry what was that i couldn’t hear you over the sound of me climbing up to the monastery”

Eyyyy, it’s a lance-wielding pirate.

...Hi, Dimitri. Where’d your macaroni hair go.

You know, it’s not surprising that Dimitri would think Beleth was a hallucination. He spent a lot of time yelling at his inner demons even pre-timeskip, after taking a couple of severe psychological shocks.

But he absolutely should have walked into her and been surprised when he knocked them both on their asses.

He’s been spending the last five years stabbing people, hasn’t he.

Yep.

He looks like he fell out of Game of Thrones.

Blue Lions! Rah rah something team chant. Rah rah Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen~

None of you people trained any of your skills. In five years. Dimitri you were a paladin. Did you eat your horse.

You are all getting sent to boot camp.

Hi, Gilbert. Why are you playable now all of a sudden. Why is your speed a fucking two.

THIS IS WHY MIKLAN HANDED YOU YOUR ASS.

Once again, the “plunk Dimitri’s overleveled ass down on a corner and watch people die” plan is still a valid strategy. I still don’t know where he gets all this strength (and charm). Like, goddamn.

Annette got cornered for like five turns because I was too cowardly to put her in range of a Brawler.

Then she killed him with a critical Fire.

So, I guess Felix’s remarks about Dimitri’s issues make some sense now, but he should still stop making them. I know he’s a tsundere par excellence, but still.

STop TalKing AboUT KilLing PeoPle

Warning: Sympathetic Boss Approaching.

Look, most “sympathetic” bosses in Fire Emblem kinda fall flat. The better ones are placed in the way of the player characters while they’re in the middle of a low point in the emotional arc and get utterly wrecked in a flurry of misdirected fury. Sometimes the characters even feel bad about it afterward. The worst ones are the ones who are just utterly devoted to someone who’s earned everyone’s ire by being a utter fucking asshole.

Good: Mustafa from Awakening and Shiharam from Path of Radiance. Good people forced into bad situations. Or just cornered. Henry talked up the former long after he got a Chrom to the face, and the latter was probably the best-written of the “aw, I wish I didn’t have to kill him” bosses I’ve run across.

Bad: Levail from Radiant Dawn. There is no getting around the fact that General Zelgius was a bad dude. Levail holding him up as a paragon of knightliness and swearing to serve him out of sheer admiration did not make him even marginally better.

We sure did kill Caspar’s uncle, didn’t we. I’m sure that won’t come back to bite us square in the ass. Not after he had that “this guy is a person who cares about stuff” cutscene to remind us of his pixel humanity.

I’m sure it’s fine.

Bwoop, bwoop, everyone say hello to Ferdinand and Lorenz! And say goodbye to Ferdinand, because he didn’t allow himself to be recruited pre-timeskip, isn’t recruitable post-timeskip, and then I had Felix kill him with Thoron.

Lorenz can rejoin us, though. He doesn’t count as an enemy commander once he’s been smacked down to 0 hp.

HI, DEDUE. WHY ARE YOU ONLY LEVEL TWENTY. GET IN THE BACKLINES AND DON’T TALK TO ME UNTIL YOU CAN ACTUALLY DAMAGE ANYTHING.

(Seriously, tho, I was waiting for Dedue to come back for two reasons. One: I did that paralogue of his way back in Part One and he did not get to die after all that. Two: Part of Dimitri’s epic slide into “spear-wielding mountain man who runs around killing people with his bare hands” had to do with Dedue “dying” during the timeskip. That jackass cracked a smile for the first time in ingame years thanks to the world’s punchiest bodyguard coming back alive.)

(Fortress Knight is still the worst class.)

I totally didn’t pay any attention to what, if anything, actually separated Master classes from Advanced classes other than my inability to get my hands on Master Seals. So Ashe is a Bow Knight now, while Felix made it to Mortal Savant (wtf is that name and why is the class model basically a samurai) and I spent a very long time level-grinding Sylvain’s Reason skill to make him a Dark Knight. I aimed for Gremory with all my spellcaster girls, but I admit to not really paying attention to specifics.

(I ended up with five Gremories: Annette, Flayn, Mercedes, Lysithea, and Dorothea. Bernadetta became a Bow Knight and Marianne promoted eventually to a Holy Knight. Dorothea also ended up taking Mortal Savant, which she didn’t ever use.)

(Seteth became a Wyvern Lord and Dedue eventually made it to Warrior.)

(Byleth qualified for Mortal Savant and used it precisely no times.)

(It became pretty clear that I just threw Master Seals at people whenever the possibility of promoting them came up.)

(Certification is a weird system.)

I stopped paying a ton of attention to supports around the time I realized that Ferdinand wasn’t going to be recruited no matter what I did in the final month before Shit Went Down.

Then I started paying attention again like two chapters from endgame, because I remembered some A-ranked supports meant that the characters could get paired endings.

I also stopped ignoring Cyril and started using him as an adjutant, though his stats never quite caught up to Seteth (also known as the only instructor unit I ever consistently used).

Cornelia is absolutely a Morlock plant. That is a face she just made, even in flashback.

I wish we could've seen Dimitri’s now-dead uncle, if only because I’m curious. Also, what did Edelgard’s mom/Dimitri’s stepmom look like?

Why is there always a fire level. I saw it earlier thanks to doing Ingrid and Dorothea’s paralogue, but it’s a Fire Emblem stock level type and I hate it.

Okay, yeah, this area totally got nuked. Magitech nukes, but still. It’s still on fire centuries later? Why??

Felix’s dad is a Holy Knight. Why do I have to keep his ass alive on a field when half the enemies are barely Advanced classes, never mind Master classes.

Oh right, because I want the exp for myself.

Rodrigue is possibly the single person here who can make Dimitri’s murder-bender change direction even slightly. He also gets along with his actual son so much worse than that. He’s like Annette’s dad, but with actual verbal confrontations.

There’s Caspar’s not-exactly-forgotten aunt, here to “secretly” avenge her dead brother. Dude, could you say something about that?

Three levels later: I thought we were done with the dad-stabbing. 

Felix has officially lost Too Many People in pursuit of keeping Dimitri alive. As has everyone else, frankly.

In other routes, Dimitri absolutely runs his campaign off a cliff.

Here, he turns his life around. More or less. Gotta make the choice to get better.

Time to take back the Kingdom’s capital, like we’ve not been doing for four chapters now. Finally.

Cornelia is absolutely a Morlock plant. This is like the fourth character who supposedly did a complete characterization 180 after a period of being actually useful to other people. Goodbye, civil engineer we never knew.

I think the only infiltrator who did things properly was Solon, but he still dropped his disguise for no good reason early in the game. That operatic level of drama is not a trait that helps him survive a month later. Just goes to show that the Morlocks don’t have more than one type of good judgment at a time, I guess.

I know I’m supposed to avoid the giant doom robots, but...

No, it turns out I can just have Dimitri and Beleth stand in the middle of the killzone and destroy them for fun and profit.

Ding dong the witch is dead.

Welp, time to go save the Alliance, which is getting schooled by the Empire.

HI CLAUDE.

I MISSED YOU AND YOUR FAITH IN HUMANITY. And specifically in Dimitri, for some reason? I think he kinda stabbed your soldiers a lot the last time you two met, but feel free to keep being the Best Character.

Your bodyguards are top-notch, man. One of them got hit with anything over the course of the entire battle.

Your general Judith, however, necessitates Flayn using ALL of her Rescue spells just to keep her alive.

I still had to send Ashe to keep a Falcon Knight off you, but no big.

And also had to send Hilda and Petra to kill the Asshole Reinforcements to nick their stuff.

Dimitri sat there and dodge-tanked all of Arundel’s attempts to kill him until the team killed everybody else. Then Dimitri poked him and he died. Dimitri OHKOs everything except monsters now, and that’s only because they have multiple health meters.

And then Claude fucks off to become king somewhere else. Okay then. It was a nice speech, though.

Killing the Death Knight for fun and profit and now Mercedes is crying. Shit.

Doesn’t this place get vaporized in every other route?

Did killing so many Morlocks by accident lock us out of seeing an intercontinental ballistic missile?

(And it is by accident, because this route is like the only one where the Morlocks are incidentals instead of the main problem, partly due to Dimitri’s tunnel vision and partly just because they don’t drop their disguises upon death.)

Well, I guess it’s time to confront Edelgard.

It’s completely valid of her to look at the guy who was threatening to rip her head off with his bare hands and hang it from the gates of the Empire’s capital a little while ago, and then go “Yeah, diplomacy’s shot.” That Dimitri stopped being quite so all-consumingly homicidal a bit ago is not actually reason to try throwing herself on anyone’s mercy. I feel kinda bad for her, since she’s been pushed into this corner and her ace-in-the-hole allies are basically decapitated, and I stole all her potential friends back during the school phase of the game.

Also, sunk cost fallacy.

Still walloped the entire roster of the second-to-last level, down to killing Hubert with Lysithea. Hilda and Cyril killed all the bird demons.

On the final level, which starts immediately after the previous one, three characters got totally destroyed by the sheer number of mages floating around: Dimitri (whose Avoid finally failed him four times in a row), Hilda (same), and Dedue (thirded). Seteth miraculously survived taking 68 points of damage from a single attack, and then later went on to take Edelgard’s last health bar off with a crit.

Weirdly, Beleth’s Avoid was just fine. Finally let her use the Sublime Sword of the Creator and she killed most of the Gremories that took out Dimitri and Hilda.

And everybody we could save per plot constraints got to live! (Except Ferdinand.)

I’m willing to save him on subsequent routes because killing him made Dorothea sad.

Next time: Lang plays the route that screws over most of these people in service of killing the God-Pope.

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #341

“Offender Arrives, The Wicker Man, TLOT's Memories”

-Ringleader has joined the server-

-SexualOffenderman has joined the server-

-Splenderman has joined the server-

[Doc] Frantically throwing on clothes-

[TLOT] Is loafing next to the water on the beach below the castle garden and sits up abruptly-

[Steve] Pops up out of the shallows

[Yaunfen] Sniffing the air while Waffles gives a warning growl-

[Splender] Has entered the server near the castle and waves at those he can see- Hello everybody!

[Yaunfen] perks up with whiskers twitching- Hi Splender!

[TLOT] Waves back as well and Steve is climbing uncertainly up onto the shore- you brought us a guest?

[Splender] - Weeeell

[Offender] Yawns- Due to certain circumstances, brother wants to make sure at least one of us is with Splender

[TLOT] Are you I'll? Or in some supernatural danger?

[Offender] - I suppose you could say that

[Steve] Who would want to hurt Splender? He's one of the nicest people I know

[Ringleader] - Splendy why don't we go find Pinwheel?

[Splender] - Okay!

[Offender] Waits until the other two are out of hearing distance- Our father...

[Yaunfen] Flicking their tail- someone else with a mean dad? Thats not okay.  

[Waffles] Sniffs Offender and gives a tiny kitty style sneeze.

[Offender] - Yeah, it wasn't a problem until they managed to fix the portal between our dimensions

[TLOT] Well he's got a decent place to hide at least.

[Steve] dawning realization- You're Offenderman, right?

[Offender] Grins- Yes

[Yaunfen] I know an offensive word! Fuck!

[TLOT] ho boy

[Offender] Laughs- Good one kid!

[Doc] Comes racing up fixing their coat hurriedly- is there an emergency?!? What's going on?!

[Offender] - Not much, just making sure the baby bro stays safe

[TLOT] His father...

[Doc] Pales - Zalgo?

[Offender] Laughs- Oh fuck no!  That douche is not our father!

[Doc] I thought he was king of demons or something?

[Yaunfen] What's a douche?

[Offender] - He's basically a very old minor god in terms of power, but he's probably only barely stronger than our father, the Wicker Man

[Doc] Wicker? Doesnt that have something to do with furniture? [Steve] Watches two touchies that have crawled out of his skull helm fly lazily around him- a furniture man doesn't sound too scary.   [TLOT] and Yaunfen, douches are for cleaning girl parts. [Yaunfen] Oh yeah! Like mom has. - nod nod-

[Offender] - Think more the shape, the tangle of branches deep in a forest that you can barely see through.  He's so old his tendrils can resemble the deepest and deadliest parts of a forest

[Doc] So a mess.

[Offender] - And deceptive

[TLOT] Somehow I think any untidy branches are going to stick out here. -gestures at the trees nearby- even jungle trees are rather chunky and uniform.

[Offender] - Good point, but his goal wouldn't be to hide here, but to get my brothers and I back home and destroy Splendy

[TLOT] You're all in danger of being kidnapped?

[Offender] - In a sense?  In our world you obey whoever is strongest...  Which is one reason why it was odd for brother to not accept Zalgo's offer for us to live under him...

[TLOT] We prefer a more... democratic approach.

[Doc] Sort of. I mean, I get final say because I pay the bills, but certain people have their own areas or expertise and subjects to rule.

[Yaunfen] Mada is head admin!

[Offender] - Don't know what that means but good for you!  I'm gonna go help Splendy find his little biting fluffball

[Doc] Well before you go... I don't mean to be rude but...  did you... feed before you came in? We're used to accomdating Splender. And Trender and Solace would be equally easy... I'm just concerend. We have a lot of children here and plenty of inhabitants who already have trauma they're trying to work through...

[Offender] - Yeah, I got plenty of fuel last night

[Yaunfen] You eat coal like Crim?

[Doc] Uncomfortable- no... - Hir words have a certain emphasis- Offender, this is my child Yaunfen.

[Offender] - So one of the many Splendy already berated me for on being off limits, gotcha

[Doc] That would be appreciated-

[TLOT] Mentally to Offender - They're young, and as far as we can tell, completely non-binary with no organs of either type.

[Offender] Responds mentally in kind- Hasn't stopped me before, but I'll leave them be since I don't think any of us want a raging Splendy on our hands

[TLOT] Mentally- Or me. I've made a few bad mistakes of my own in the past, and now consent is very important to me.

[Offender] - Welp, I'll be off then!

[Doc] Wait! One more thing. - Xe clicks near him and brings up the display- You're a guest player for now. Just type my name in the chat like this- does some finger motions like on a keyboard- if you need anything or have any questions.

[Offender] - Noted, oh and we brought Ringleader to help keep SPlendy's mind off of what's going on

[Doc] Oh! I'll have to drop by. We had a nice little adventure last time. It'll be good to see her again.

[Offender] - Yup, well, you'll probably find her and my brother around the kids quite a bit

[TLOT] That's normal. The kids really enjoy his company. My Testificates are used to seeing him around the village.

[Offender] Starts walking off- Yeah well I'll probably be stuck baby sitting the biter

[Doc] She's a bit more advanced then you remember. Be nice to her. She's basically Sally's age now and about her level too.

[Offender] - Oh joy

[Yaunfen] Should I find Big Fire mada?

[Doc] Go ahead, I need to check in with your mom. Everything looks like it's holding steady, but I want to add a few things just in case.

[Yaunfen] I'm on it! - Goes trotting off with waffles following at a loping pace.

[Doc] Turns to TLOT- ...

[TLOT] You don't have to ask, I'll keep an eye on him.

[Yaunfen] Runs down the spawn road sniffing around for Cp's brimstone smell-

[Lie] Is walking towards Doc's place with CP following her.  He's still in cat form-

[Yaunfen] Leaps over her in an effortless bunch and bound- HI LIE!

[Waffles] Saunters up more leisurely - mrrrr

[Lie] - Hello Yaunfen, is your Mada home?  I'm trying to find somebody

[Yaunfen] Yep! They're at Castle Thunder! Talking to mom.

[Waffles] Sniffs at Cp-

[CP] Hisses at Waffles-

[Waffles] Show of teeth and pokes Cp with one toe of one huge paw-

[CP] Fury swats-

[Lie] - CP!

[Waffles] Thumps a paw down flat on Cp's head to knock him down-

[Yaunfen] Is circling several blocks away- Lie? Where's Big Fire?

[Lie] - Hm?  Oh, well he's catified and being a bit squished by your cat by the looks of it

[Waflles] Is roughly patting Cp with a playful expression-

[Yaunfen] Waffles!

[CP] Manages to escape and runs over to Lie, doing a butt wiggle to jump up on her shoulder-

[Lie] - Don't you dare

[Yaunfen] Leans down and tangles Cp up in hir whiskers- Hey Big Fire!

[CP] - Growls-

[Yaunfen] Mada said to tell you Offenderperson is here!

[CP] Freezes as does Lie-

[Lie] - I'm sorry Yaunfen...  Could you repeat that?

[Yaunfen] Offender is here? Splender came back too, with someone called Ringleader.

[Lie] - Okay then...  I'm going to go barricade myself in my room for the time being then

[Yaunfen] Be safe Lie! - Looks at Cp who's still slightly tangled-

[CP] Wants to follow Lie and pulls a little-

[Yaunfen] Lie? Does Big Fire need to go with you?

[Lie] - Yes!

[Yaunfen] Puts the cat down-

[CP] Darts off to follow Lie, a fire charge already building in his mouth just in case-

[Pinwheel] Is rather happily laying in a patch of sun in the workroom-

[Karla] Is tinkering curiously with the workroom crafting table.

[Pinwheel] Rolls onto her back with a bit of lip smacking, her tail swishing a little-

[Karla] Glances over with a small smile. - Deadly little dreamer...

[Splender] Teleports into the room, having heard from Alexsezia that Pinwheel was there- PINWHEEL!- He quickly scoops her up and is hugging her

[Pinwheel] Is very much awake now- Splendy no!  No!  No!  No!- Each no is punctuated with a bite

[Karla] Is understandably startled- You probably should not- Oh GODS!

[Splender] Just happily snuggles Pinwheel as she hisses-

[Ringleader] Runs in- Splendy not so fast!

[Karla] Do you need medical attention?! You should put her down!

[Splendy] - Hm?  Oh!  Hello!

[Karla] Composes herself - She's a rather sensitive creature, you shouldn't grab her like that.

[Splender] Laughs a little- Oh don't worry, I do this all the time!

[Pinwheel] - Splendy down!

[Splender] - Oh alright...  What happened to your scales?

[Karla] The little one ran away and got caught in the rain...

[Splender] - Oh Pinwheel...  Why didn't you go home?

[Pinwheel] Huffs-

[Karla] She had a disagreement with her friend Crim. Children get overwhelmed sometimes. It's hard being young.

[Splender] - Yes, I was there when it started, I unfortunately got called away for some business, but I trust she and Crim have made up and that's good

[Ringleader] - Awwww, she's gotten so much bigger the last time I saw you

[Karla] Yes, well enough. I don't believe we've met? I'm Dr. Karla Emmerich. Currently Lie's houseguest.

[Splender] - I'm Splenderman!  And this is my proxie Ringleader!  And this- He turns towards empty space and freezes

[Ringleader] - Yeah this is why I was yelling at you not to go so fast, I have no idea where your brother is

[Karla] Nice to meet you both... Brother?

[Ringleader] - Sexualoffenderman...  Should I go out and look for him sir?

[Splender] A bit ashamed- Yes please

[Karla] With a name like that he sounds like Hell on wheels.

[Ringleader] - Just don't take any roses and you'll be fine

[Karla] Laughs lightly - My playmate is more likely to come with a whip in his teeth and a pleading expression then flowers. Thank you for the warning though.

[Ringleader] Heads out to find Offender-

[Splender] Turns towards Pinwheel- Have you been a good girl while I've been gone?

[Pinwheel] - Don't care

[Karla] She's been calm and happy for the few hours we've spent together.

[Splender] - Wonderful!  Little biting?

[Karla] Just once, but I'm over it.

[Splender] - Oh dear, you didn't hit respawn did you?

[Karla] No, she'd spent her venom on the mobs. It's fine.

[Splender] - Oh dear, still, I'm sorry...

[Offender] Teleports in behind Splendy- There you are, ah, and the biting fuzzball

[Karla] Is this the aformentioned brother? I can see the resemblance in height.

[Splender] - Ah!  Yes!  Offender, this is Karla!  This is my brother Offender!

[Offender] - You can just call me Smexy

[Karla] Chuckles lightly- I like it! And the flasher coat. - She crosses one leg over the other, the light catching the shiny black leather on her feet and hands.

[Offender] His trademark grin spreads across his face- Oh I like her

[Karla] Most men do. Unless they fancy being able to tame me. - She lifts her chin to see him better and her massive chest scar and cleavage are easily visible from above.

[Pinwheel] - Hungry!

[Karla] Endrea left you some bottles. Give me a moment. - She gets up and brushes past Offender to open a trunk and retrieve the bottle of void energy-

[Offender] Lets a couple of his tendrils curl out only to have Pinwheel bite them- Ow!  Stop that fang face!

[Karla] How interesting... - She brings Pinwheel the bottle and tips it so she can drink from it.

[Pinwheel] Lets go of Offender to eat-

[Offender] - Yeah, slender beings like my little bro here and I all have tendrils

[Karla] I believe I've met your... oldest brother? Cp and I had a bit of fun, and he was kind enough to clean up after our mayhem. - across the room the Wunderwaffe seems to wake up and makes a few small happy electrical noises from the bed it's resting on.

[Offender] Chuckles again- Oh yah, that.  He griped a little bit, but that was more for show than anything else, he was almost playful when he got back

[Karla] That's an amusing thought in and of itself... - she tips the bottle a bit more, it's nearly empty. -Good Pinwheel. Get big and strong.

[Splender] - Doc said I could possibly ride her when she's full grown!

[Pinwheel] - No

[Karla] Diplomatically- I think that will take a lot more good parenting and patience. A young lady of such caliber doesn't let just... anyone ride her.

-Up in the main room the doors can be heard opening and closing-

[Lie] - Anyone home?

[Karla] Lie! You have company.

[Lie] Comes down into the workroom with CP following- Splender!  Glad to see you again!- She then notices Offender and stiffens

[CP] Begins growling at Offender-

[Karla] Now then Cp, we were just having a nice chat. Why so angry?

[Splender] - CP, you know Offender won't touch you or your mate, he knows how strong that bond is

[Offender] - Besides, your ass is too tiny right now to do anything too

[Karla] Off-handedly- Such things are easily adjusted, but it's innapropriate either way.

[Offender] - Oh I can adjust to fit just about anything, however...- He sniffs the air and turns towards Lie- Oh that smells delicious...  You're pregnant little lady...

[Karla] Indeed. She's the talk of the village. As far as we know, two Herobrines having a child is unprecidented.

[Lie] Is bright red-

[CP] Knowing Offender can hear him- Fuck off!

[Pinwheel] Finishes eating and licks her lips- I go find Cri now

[Karla] Are you sure Pinwheel? I could just try calling over the... chat? And see if anyone has seen him.

[Pinwheel] - Mmmmmmmm

[Karla] I think that might almost be a yes- She types a little and then waits for the words to come back-

[Buff] Over chat- I saw him out in the desert by the shrine miss. Only a little while ago.

[Karla] See? That was easy enough.

[Pinwheel] Takes off running-

[Splender] - Ah!  Pinwheel that was rude!

[Karla] She's just eagar to play with her friend some more. Her first friend. I wonder if I might be her second with time?

[Splender] Excitedly- Oh I hope so!

[Offender] - Calm down bro, your getting ahead of yourself again

[Lie] - I...  I think I'm going to go start on dinner...

[CP] Concerned mew-

[Splender] - Oh!  We should leave you to that then, don't want to be rude...

[Offender] - I like food

[Splender] - Come on, let's go brother, we'll get some food from Doc!- He starts pushing his brother out the door

[Karla] Watches them go with a little wave- Nice meeting you both.

[Lie] Lets out a very shaky breath and her body starts trembling a little-

[Karla] I take it 'smexy's' given name is not merely for show? You seem very upset Lie.

[Lie] - There...  There's some history...- She turns and removes her collar, her now very naked husband pulling her in close and smoothing her hair

[CP] - Shhh, it's alright...  I won't let him do anything

[Karla] Shamelessly takes a look at Cp's equiptment and makes the faintest snort before smiling.

[CP] Snarls at Karla a little-

[Lie] - I just...  He was in our home

[Karla] No shame Cp, it's a generous peg for what I imagine is a small square hole that's usually happy to invite it in. And he seemed well-contained by his more amiable sibling.

[CP] - He's lazy, that's what, but he terrifies Lie, and for good reason...

[Karla] I'm guessing he prefers his sexual partners to be random and unwilling?

[CP] - He doesn't care what they are, willing or unwilling, old or young, human or not

[Karla] Hence the name. Anyone would have every right to be terrified.

[CP] Glances down at Lie, as if asking her permission and she nods a little- He never actually attacked her, but she witnessed him taking a victim, we think that may be what led Insanity to choosing her as a suitable mate...

[Karla] That explains a lot, you're decently well matched but it still seemed a random choice for something fated.

[CP] Shrugs a little as Lies shaking starts to die down- Either way, she's mine

[Karla] And you are her's. I think that's just as important. From everything I've heard she's been quite a good influence on you.

[CP] - Whatever, I need to get dressed, Lie, are you okay now?

[Lie] - Yeah, I should be fine now...

[CP] Nods and teleports to their room to get dressed-

[Steve] Is whistling cheerfully as he makes steaks in a furnace by the water-

[TLOT] Is making a fish stew on top of the same furnace - I could use maybe... Two more?

-There's a commotion in the water as the golden dragon breaches and goes chasing after a fish-

[Yaunfen] is doing a little dance for Deerheart. Xe has a sprig of smoke berries in one hand and is trailing the particle effects everywhere.

[Deer] Smiles happily and is encouraging Yaunfen-

[Splender] Is approaching with Offender and Ringleader-

[TLOT] Signals to Doc-

[Doc] Surfaces with a fish in hir mouth and makes for the shore with just the top of hir head and mane showing.

[Yaunfen] Does a couple of graceful leaps and then stumbles a bit, breaking a rough stone block to nothing with their feet- whoops!

[Splender] - Are you okay Yaunfen?

[Deer] Goes to help Yaunfen up

[Yaunfen] Yeah- the smoke berries fell on the ground and some of them squished, making a bit of ground fog- two feet are just harder then four. Pfft!

[Splender] Laughs- This is true!

[Doc] Rises up like a sea monster from the water and tosses TLOT the fish- did you find Pinwheel?

[Splender] - Oh yes! She was at Lies place!

[Ringleader] Looking at Yaunfen- Awww, you've grown so much too!

[Yaunfen] Blinks at her for a moment- I know you... I think? - tiny tail swish-

[Doc] You were pretty little when you met her. This is Ringleader, Splender's proxy.

[Ringleader] - You had just learned how to say Mada when I last saw you

[Yaunfen] Really?

[Doc] Leans down and gives them a little bump with hir snoot- You were super cute then and you still are.

[Yaunfen] Yee! Mada. - smiles-

[Steve] Foods done. Anybody hungry?

[Offender] - Oh hell yes!

[Steve] Looks slightly unnerved by Offender but gamely starts passing out steak and warm bread and bowls of fish chowder.

[Doc] Shifts down to join them. It's a lovely day and a few touchies are buzzing lazily in the garden.

[Offender] Takes the food offered and swallows it in one go-

[Splender] - Of thank you Steve

[Yaunfen] Pulls out a full block of end sponge cake and starts nomming happily-

[Steve] shaky- There's more....

[TLOT] Passes a roast chicken and a baked potato from his inventory to Offender. His expression changes slightly as he brushes the Slenders hand-

[Offender] - Cool

[Splender] - Brother, don't eat all of their food!

[Doc] It's okay Splender, I can access creative easily. So we've always got plenty of basic meat and vegetable stuff.

[TLOT] Tilts his head slightly before addressing Offender- Your mind is quiet.

[Splender] - Yes, but you've seen my innards, his are the same

[Offender] - My mind is what?

[TLOT] It's quiet, clear almost. When Cp punched Lj and he retreated into his box, who found it?

[Doc] Is listening intently because of TLOT's tone-

[Offender] - I did, why?

[TLOT] You touched it, didn't you?

[Steve] You mean he's...?

[Offender] - Well yeah, how else was I supposed to get his box home

[Ringleader] - I'm confused...

[TLOT] Yes. He's clean.

[Doc] Okay, I feel about 1000% better hearing that.

[Yaunfen] You don't have the crazy lady!

[Steve] Wow!

[TLOT] Your Insanity was purged the moment you touched it. I understand that Slender beings aren't as controlled by her as normal creepypastas, but it still makes a difference.

[Offender] - Eh, never heard from her much anyways

[Doc] Well if someone has godlike powers it's always good to know they won't suddenly go bananas because someone looked at them funny. I adopted a dragon form partly because I wanted one and partly because I needed to be big in order to subdue Cp whenever he got out of hand. I spent a lot of time with him actively on fire in my coils while I tried to talk him down.

[Offender] Laughs at the mental image-

[Doc] Had to sit on him a few times too. And thankfully TLOT can use his powers to pin people in place.

[Offender] - Eh, everyone has their tricks

[Steve] Glances at his feet and smiles very slightly-

[Yaunfen] I can be heavy! Mama and I have been practicing. - so proud-

[Doc] Heavy?

[Deer] Sputters- Yaunfen! That was going to be a surprise!

[Yaunfen] But I can kinda do it! ... Sorry mama.

[Doc] What's this all about?

[Deer] Sighs- We've been practicing Yaunfen's powers on the candy seed and were going to surprise you with them once they got good

[Yaunfen] I can be stubborn as fuck! Just like Big Fire!

[Doc] Why does that worry me?

[Splender] - Yaunfen, that's not a nice word

[Doc] But it was one of the first they learned. So it's okay.

[Splender] - If you say so...

[Yaunfen] Moves a little bit away and shapeshifts back to a dragon. They're decently large and pad over to Splender- Try and move me! I'm like bedrock!

[Splender] - Okay!- He stands and proceeds to try and lift Yaunfen

[Yaunfen] Streches a little in the middle like a sleepy cat but the feet stay firmly on the ground. - That tickles!

[Offender] Grins a little, a tendril slinking along the ground-

[Splender] Keeps trying-

[Yaunfen] Is being shoved around a little but not moved. The dirt under them is looking a bit crumbly. - hehehe!

[Offender] Suddenly tickled both Yaunfen and Splender-

[Splender] Shrieks in laughter and let's go of Yaunfen- Brother!

[Yaunfen] Goes suddenly down so they're standing with one foot each in a one block hole- whoops! That's cheating! HEHEHHEHE!

[Offender] - Nah, it's called having fun kid

[Yaunfen] Uses their tail tip to tickle Offenders ribs- Sneaky!

[Offender] Retaliated with more tendrils-

[Yaunfen] Rolls over laughing-

[TLOT] Well at least they're playing nice.

[Ringleader] - Yeah, all of them get subdued around Splender

[Steve] He is a really nice guy.

[TLOT] Good neighbor too. - glances in the direction of Mb's house.

[Ringleader] - Is everything alright?

[TLOT] Eh, just a brine with an attitude. He was given to us to save him from being deleted. MasterHerobrine. He's been quieter since we gave him a dragon to raise but he still likes to fight. Reminds me of Cp now and again.

[Ringleader] - I see...

[Splender] Finally gets enough tendrils out to tickle Offender back-

[Yaunfen] Is pouncing and playing and acidently drops a tablet from their inventory.

[Ringleader] - Hm? What's this?- She picks up the tablet

[Doc] Is too fixated on Yaunfen playing to notice.

[TLOT] Looks at her- that? It looks like a painting maybe? Try putting it on a flat surface.

[Ringleader] Looks around before approaching the wall of the castle and pressing the tablet there-

-The image springs up. It's a healed zombie pig woman. She's lovely and dressed like a tribal princess. Behind her are images of dinosaurs. She seems to be almost pleading, reaching out with one hand from the picture. -

[TLOT] Goes absolutely white and still - I... remember... Zaya... oh gods...

[Steve] Runs to him- what is it???

[Yaunfen] Stops playing - oh no! TLOT?

[Doc] Comes to look as well- What's wrong???

[TLOT] Starts to cry and wipes his tears on his cloak edge-

[Steve] I don't understand.. OH GODS. - He's seeing the memory in TLOT's mind-

[TLOT] How could I forget...?

[Splender] He and Offender stop playing- No, don't cry, sadness doesn't taste good...

[Yaunfen] Don't cry TLOT.

[Doc] What happened? Who is she?

[TLOT] I... need to sit down... - He takes a few steps away and flops on a stair block, shaking his head-

[Steve] Is still reeling-

[Doc] Dammit, of all the times not to have some of Lie's flowers.

[Splender] - I could go get some

[Yaunfen] Scrabbles at the picture, taking it down and putting it away. -I'm sorry!

[Doc] If you want, it might help-

[Splender] Teleports away-

[Ringleader] - No, I'm sorry, I put it up...

[Deer] - TLOT, what's wrong?

[TLOT] It's so vivid... At least parts of it. She was.. someone important? My NOTCH... Revenge, he destroyed her in front of me...

[Steve] Yaunfen! Where did you get that?

[Yaunfen] I found it! I sifted it out of gravel! And fixed it with the anal-lyser.

[Doc] Where did the gravel come from?

[Yaunfen] Notch gave it to me.

[Doc] You mean Markus, right?

[Yaunfen] Uh-huh!

[Doc] How in the world...?

[Deer] - The leak... The mods from TLOT's seed are leaking into the others...

[Doc] So... we have artifacts now?

[Deer] - Maybe?

[TLOT] Mutters- There was a man there too... with a face like a.. wolf?

[CP] Teleports in with Lie-

[Lie] - TLOT?

[Yaunfen] I've found all kinds of stuff....

[TLOT] Is still shaken and teary-

[Steve] He suddenly remembered part of something terrible our NOTCH did....

[Lie] Nods in understanding before spawning calming blossoms-

[TLOT] Makes eye contact with Cp, and in that moment he also sees the memory. The woman standing firm and defiant despite being weaponless and being suddenly cut down by the misty form of TLOT's NOTCH. Her screams are terrible and his overwhelming fear and anger in that moment is sour and consuming.

[CP] Growls, the memory reminding him off what happened to his mobs-

[TLOT] Swallows hard. Reaching down to tangle his fingers in Lie's calming flowers-

[Steve] Wraps his arms around his husband as if to protect him-

[Doc] His NOTCH has such a long shadow... even dead...

[Lie] - Then we simply need to be brighter

[Doc] Adds hir arms to the hug- It's okay... it's over.

[TLOT] I need to know. Somehow... what happened... This hole in my mind is maddening sometimes.

[Yaunfen] Slinks over, laying their snout against his shoe-

[Splender] Teleported back and gives a burst of happy energy-

[TLOT] Lets it roll over him like cool water, and sighs, calming down.

[TLOT] Thank you... Sorry to bring everyone down. And Yaunfen, I'm not mad, but you need to let me know if you find anything else.

[Doc] Burst of guilt and a guarded expression-

[Lie] - It's okay, that's what we're here for- She's a bit nervous being so close to Offender

[Doc] Moves back a little-

[Deer] - Doc?

[Doc] Yes?

[Yaunfen] Also looks guilty

[CP] - The fuck is wrong with you?

[TLOT] Looks at them as well with narrowed eyes- What do you have?

[Doc] It's nothing!

[CP] - Doc you are surrounded by psychics

[Doc] quiet- fuck...

[Yaunfen] Mada cussed.

[CP] - Is there something you want to share?

[Doc] Not really?

[CP] Teleports behind Doc and grabs them- What is it?

[Lie] - CP...

[Doc] YIKES! Not so hard!

[TLOT] Doc what. do. you. have?

[Doc] Eh... I kinda.. found a tablet too....

[CP] - Show us

[TLOT] resigned- Let me see it.

[Doc] Fine... you won't like it though. - Xe pulls out the tablet and holds it out as much as xe can for TLOT to take.

[TLOT] He puts it against the castle wall and gasps-

-The painting is much bigger and shows a silhouette with glowing eyes and the shape of his own helm standing small at the apex of a giant pile of human bones and corpses. Behind him is the shadowy form of his NOTCH looming menacingly with his titanic head in the clouds. -

[CP] - Shit...

[TLOT] I....

[Doc] I hid it because I didn't want you to be upset...

[Steve] All my brothers...

[Lie] - Oh TLOT...

[TLOT] So quietly- I just.. didn't want to be alone...

[Yaunfen] But you didn't hurt them! It's not your fault!

[Doc] We understand TLOT... Loneliness can drive one mad... Mine almost killed me.

[CP]  - We've all been there

[TLOT] Its the not knowing that makes it even worse...

[Lie] - But at least you can remember.  It may take time, but I'm certain you will

[Doc] if the evidence exists maybe we should be looking for it? Cp... Where is all the dirt you removed to make the cage? If it's boxed it would likely have been sitting at ground zero of the leak for quite some time.

[CP] - I don't remember

[Lie] - Wouldn't the block under the seed be ground zero?  It's been in direct contact with the seed for a longer amount of time

[Doc] Yes... But sifting destroys the blocks. I was trying not to use anything that would be missed. I didn't want to tear up the floor in Cps build either. And speaking of Cp, can you put me down please?

[CP] Drops Doc- I can look for the blocks...

[Lie] - But I may have used them to fill in places...

[Doc] ow... That would be helpful.  I Don't want to make a giant hole someplace taking too many blocks away.

[Lie] - If there are still any they would be in my store room

[Yaunfen] We're gonna sift stuff? That's a good way to find treasures!

[Lie] - We could head over now?

[Doc] TLOT? Are you going to be okay?

[TLOT] I'll live. I'm going to stay here though.

[Steve] Me too.

[CP] Goes to pick Lie up again-

[Doc] Deerheart my love? It looks like we're going to go play in the dirt for a bit. Wish us luck.

[Deer] - Good luck

[Doc] checks on Offender and Ringleader and Splender- Splender? Are you okay? Maybe show Offender around the seed a bit?

[Splender] - Sure!

[Doc] Take him to the library for sure. I think he'd get a kick out of the second floor in particular...

[Splender] - Second floor?

[Ringleader] - Come on Splendy, let's go

[Yaunfen] That's where all the books for tall people are!

[Steve] They mean adults...

[Yaunfen] That's what I said! Tall people. And Splender is a super adult because he's so tall.

[Splender] - Awwww, You are so adorable Yaunfen

[Doc] What about Gk? Hes old but short.

[Yaunfen] grimaces-I've seen him eat a booger. He's not an adult.

[Offender] - What about me?  I'm shorter then Splendy

[Yaunfen] Gives him a calculating look- mmmm tall enough.

[Splender] Laughs-

[CP] Just starts walking off with Lie-

[prince-darkleboop]

14, 33, and 48 for the oc asks!

I’m going the TF2 OCs route.

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory  

... oh

You know, I occasionally talk about one particular trans BLU Spy, Lazare. Drink knows the full story about him (just about, there’s little tidbits that are split and vary depending on plotlines, but Lazare is A Mess(TM))

Welp, let’s get started! (Imma suggest people press j/scroll past if they don’t want to read about transphobia and all sorts of abuse. I mean it, like primarily physical, but there’s some sprinkles of heavy implied sexual, emotional, and all the other abuses you could think of)

So he’s born as the ‘daughter’ of a merchant and banker in what’s called the Pyrénées-Atlantiques area, likely in Lower Navarre (so he’s French and Basque), so he fits somewhere in the middle class. He’s got a younger sister, a mom, a dad, and a couple of random ass family members and very good friends that typically make up a family of nine (usually). He’s got black hair, and heterochormia irridium: one eye green, one eye blue (used to be just green but I apparently like bi colored eyes for him)

He always knew he was a boy. Too bad his mom wasn’t very amused, heated up a spoon and burned it on his hand when he was about... 9 (It’s either 8 or 9 but pretty sure it’s 9)

During the war (he’s roughly 14~16 during this period of time), his father is dead (he was told dubious things), his mother and younger sister flee to Britain (limited transport, could only do two), and he’s with his uncle he doesn’t really like. That’s kinda okay, he’s around two really friendly priests that were friends of his father. Good ol’ Father Mendoza and Father Maxime, was really great friends with his father and became great friends with him. Stayed around during the war, despite how it might’ve been more than a little dangerous (since they’re really close to Basque and visit once a week from Basque, they’re likely Catholic) 

Too bad his uncle’s a fascist.Who knows what the uncle’s reasoning was. Lazare already disliked his uncle because said uncle followed through with his mother’s stringent requests (post collapse, it’s likely a French based middle class family would have had time to arrange themselves into a semi-comfortable position, but Lazare recalls a lot of cooking and gardening and a lot of women’s tasks that used to be left to the servants). It likely got worse post German occupation. The intention was resistance fighters got in the way, and the uncle was going to teach Lazare what happens to those who rebel.

Lazare got to him first, purely because the utter betrayal of his home and country (twice) made him angry. Besides, Lazare knew he could take risks.

Recall the father I barely mentioned? And his good friends Father Mendoza and Father Maxime?They’re all First World War Spies. Lazare didn’t know the Spy bit, but because of where he lived at, his father insisted that everyone know Spanish, Basque, and French. His father thought Lazare was slacking in Spanish.Nope, Lazare was just your typical rebellious kid who had too much a penchant for listening in on secrets. Well, Lazare knew that his father supported “the Monastery” and there were all sorts of religious terms used to talk. But Lazare wasn’t actively encouraged to read the Bible until it suddenly became banned by his uncle.And all the quotes started to make sense in a “this is a code” way.

And those rebel fighters included a mishmash of people, including who would become his best friend, Dima Rishmawi (who later became known under the codename Nube (though I’ve constantly misspelled it as Nuba, gj me))Dima’s got her own story so just know two things 1. she’s around Lazare’s age and 2. she’s a sniper (her papa was a sniper and taught his twin daughters)

Dima stayed behind because she realized Lazare had nothing and they essentially had to make sure stuff was unusable. Helped that Father Maxime and Father Mendoza come over and help. They were a little upset at the two, but figured it would happen (damned fascists). Well, sometimes the best spies are ones that have to be tossed in blindly. Not to say Father Maxime and Father Mendoza didn’t help, but both Dima and Lazare took massive risks.

But I will say that this is likely when Lazare is 16 (and Dima’s a year older, roughly). This is... roughly 1941~1942 (which does account for resistance fights and the like, but tf2 world is weird anyhow so I do fumble around with years). His primary Spying is 1943~1946(ish). He’s young.The main reason I accent this, is his worst enemy and influence is Father Mendoza. This is a man who partially flayed his arm, because Lazare didn’t have the stomach to flay one of his enemies. And it’s not the worst done to Lazare.The barest I will say, because while I want people to understand that Mendoza is horrifying, but at the same time tumblr is a crapshot and I can’t quite put tagged warnings (there’s probably a way that I do not know).. Mendoza deserves worse than what he will ever get.

but Mendoza trains him as does Maxime, and he learns a lot of tips from The Monastery (I will explain this in a bit). Lazare and Dima wander the countryside, Lazare with new knife skills and a Dead Ringer, Dima with her sniper rifle. They trade secrets for bullets and rations. Lazare becomes known as the mysterious nun, often uses the modifier ‘The Queen of Navarre’ as a signature (it’s a bit of a joke). Their luck runs out 1945, when they were captured by Italian fascists (so the event was they were being paid better than normal to find out what the fuck was going on at some outpost that agency Spies couldn’t sort out. In short: bad shit.)

An assortment of things happen, and a mixture of contrivance and someone’s mercy let them live.Only Lazare is pregnant. He’s genuinely Catholic aligning, does not believe in abortion period. He’s miserable, but he’s having that baby.

Aside from being forced into semi-retirement (he knows a lot of things and that gets him from a hospital in Italy back to Basque, because the Monastery could help him), he encounters a different problem.

Agency Spies.

So this is essentially when the War starts calming the fuck down, but there’s still key people that need taking down and out. The Monastery is a ‘monastery’ full of First World War spies that kinda had nowhere to go. A bunch are old agency Spies that were left by the wayside. Some are missing limbs or an eye or are too stricken with PTSD and other illnesses that make Spying too difficult (impossible by agency standards). Some may have made a questionable decision that sent them to an early retirement, instead of climbing the ranks of the agency. Some more than likely should be dead (for whatever reason). Very few are horrible people, Mendoza is the exception because he’s good at hiding. So you’ve got the Monastery, and likely they’re not the only collection of non-agency Spies. There is an agreement between the Agency (as a whole) and the Monastery. The Monastery wants to be left the fuck alone because they’ve been abandoned, and it’s better to have non-agency Spies in your pocket, than have a group of very disgruntled Spies that may decide revenge over the good of nations.

You’ve also got the Agency. There’s a bunch, some nations have multiple (think the US), but many just have one within a nation. The agency in France regained control and they needed people. The agency in Spain was always in control, at the cost of many men and women.

See, they’ve heard about the Queen of Navarre, and Lazare could not hide his eyes. So. He gets harassed by both, while pregnant. Almost gets kidnapped once.Essentially Lazare knows the game: he’s going to get offered a contract. It’s not gonna be good. It’d essentially demand him until he dies (or he stops being good at being a Spy, but hah, that’s essentially death). Also noting that Lazare is 20~21, and pregnant. Lazare knows the stories from the Monastery Spies, the outcome is not gonna be good for the little one. Likely would become a Spy too, when the little one is really young. Younger than Lazare young.

Thankfully, the Monastery kept that from being a horrifying reality. And Father Maxime and Father Mendoza. Lazare does get to have a relatively peaceful birth and a couple months with his daughter (names her Teresa, there’s some French play he took inspiration from). Then, he had to leave. It was a tough decision, and he left for an assortment of them. But post giving birth, the Agencies gave him space, but they didn’t leave him alone.

So he leaves Teresa with Father Maxime (who honestly always wanted a family of his own so it works out) and Lazare and Dima go out.

Life does turn up for Lazare. He gets back at the people who wronged him and Dima. He gets to transition (took a bit, but he does do so). Eventually gets the Agencies off his damn back (transitioning helped a bit). Life is good as a small time fraud organizer and cooperate Spy (let’s just say some of his info includes businesses that were ill gotten and he influenced a bunch of closures and purchases and fractures because fuck those who profited off pain). But most his fraud was tax havens. He had a lot of businesses: taxi scams, hookah bars, tea houses, restaurants, even a mechanic’s shop he eventually pivoted to a legitimate business.

hell his religious conviction does lead to his name: Lazare. He sees himself as reborn. (I do think he’s had a crisis of faith at times, but he’s generally still Catholic leaning)

Ah, but how did he join MannCo?

So there was a small city in France (I picked Grenoble for some reason), a bunch of politicians were getting off a massive crime. It triggered an emotional response in Lazare, and he killed them. In public.there he was, in prison. likely was going to get sentenced to death for his crime there.And along came Miss Pauling.

(in terms of how it goes from there, I do have a written part that was based around gallows humor in AO3, but like, what happens is kinda up in the air, depends on what kind of plot in MannCo I shove him in. But mostly he’s in an unfavorable contract that’s got some basis of being half decent and like a prison sentence. Like a 10 year contract long. He gets signed on at 35~38, typically. This is kinda where things depend on plot.)

also a RED Medic took off his head and may or may not have done other unscrupulous things (depends on the plot, the Sniper/Spy one that’s on hold is a “likely a lot happened”. The Medic/Spy one was more a “just the head and the rest was mild, all things considering”)

33. Your shyest OC?

Someone I actually would like to toss around more into RP plots it’s a trans Sniper. Ah Lawrence. Generally not a people person, somehow manages in the Australian Army (mostly a translator, but he did have sniping skills)

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

My trans female Scout, Justine. She just wants to live her life, and wants her uncle Lazare, who adopted her as a niece, to be happy because lord knows he deserves it. (I actively want to write more centering around her. When senior thesis isn’t killing me, I’ll write all the Christmas stuff)

[mistydeyes]

OHSHC in the RFA

OHSHC members as the members of the RFA in Mystic Messenger.

Beginning: As a new student of Ouran, you are mysteriously given a note telling you to download an app and also to enter a particular room on the second floor. Sensing adventure but evil you cautiously enter Room 7. Once you walk in your phone starts buzzing and you realize it is the weird app on your phone. You open it and realize you’re in a chatroom full of odd members! After learning their names they explain that the app is used between members of the HFA or the Haruhi Fundraising Association which was originally developed to fundraise for school events and other endeavors. The room you’re standing in was the office as well as second home to the Fujioka Family. But due to the death of the family’s matriarch, the office is abandoned and their daughter, Haruhi does most of the planning on her own. They invite you to stay and possibly help the organization get back on their feet and throw a gala to establish themselves again. (Headcannons below the cut)

(In order from least to most involved:)

Hunny

Basically is Yoosung’s double

Once you enter the chatroom he asks you the most important question of all

“What’s your favorite cake?”

When you answered “Strawberry” he immediately gained your trust

After that he would talk to you whenever he could

Or whenever you would listen to him

He tells you that as much as he disliked Haruhi’s father, he stayed in the organization because of Mori and Haruhi

He eventually opened up about his family and brother, why he likes sweets and lolita things so much, and him wanting to act like a grown man

However he could to really act like one when he discovered Room 7 had a bomb in it and that there was someone trying to kidnap you

Literally tries to move you out 

“Like no, MC you need to leave with me right now. I’m trying to protect you.”

But you weren’t having it, all your work was there and you practically lived in that room

Eventually when Haruhi was going to confront and find the people that were stalking you, he decided to go

When he came back for the day of the annual host club party, you were so shocked

He had bruises and cuts and more importantly his eye was covered with a patch

You went to talk to him and whoa are you dipping and kissing me rn

That he was and you guys lived happily ever after (yayyyy)

Mori

In the beginning, all the members loved you except for him

You could no get a word out of him AT A L L

You even tried to learn the names of judo moves and tried to impress him that way but N O N E  O F  I T  W O R K E D

That was until you put Kyoya and Tamaki in their place when they were talking about how great of members there were

“Actually, Mori helps out with a lot of the work you guys. Give him more credit.”

Then the most amazing thing happened

HE SENT A BLUSHY FACE EMOJI

You were awestruck and then you both started bonding on how undermined you both were 

“I started coordinating for free and with a day’s notice. Can I get some appreciation here?!”

“Agreed MC, do you want to go get coffee to burn this off?

A N D  B O O M! First date time!!

Although your date was full of pettiness and sass

This basically became your routine well until the bomb thing pops up

“MC! Look at the chat, Haruhi is talking about you.”

Literally a second later

“MC!!! GET OUT OF THAT ROOM!”

That was the most emotion he ever showed to you

You convince him that your safe and he cautiously watches you like reeeaally watches

Anyways eventually with the tension building up between all the members, he eventually speaks against Tamaki and Kyoya about wanting a bigger role

“MC and I are doing all of the background work, we want to at least be mentioned at the party!”

It proves successful, although Tamaki and Kyoya are pretty pissed at first

But the party continues on and with you there, Mori walks up to you

“MC, will you be my business partner?”

AHH YESSS

And the end!

Hikaru

Asks you if you’re dating anyone

He literally invades and gets into your personal life

That was until he hit a note and now you’re spilling your life to him

“M-MC, shhh it’s okay. I’m so sorry..”

To repay you he tells you about how he and his brother were originally part of association

Immediately regrets this and acts very wary and distant for a few days

Then the worst happens

Tamaki calls him and says that you haven’t been seen entering Room 7 for the day

He springs into action and drives over to your apartment

Once he gets in the room however, he sees you surrounded by members wearing what looks to be like familiar attire

He growls at them to leave but it takes actually threatening to kill them for the group to rush away

You’re a sobbing mess by now

“MC, I have to tell you something.”

Now this is when the beans spill

“I need to tell you more about the association I’ve mentioned. Kaoru and I were part of it and it was led by this women who wanted to establish a cult bent on doing her bidding”

Basically sums up that Haruhi’s dad found both of them and brought them into the HFA with new names and identities

Now you are both crying

Back to the story, you both got out of there and stayed with him and Kaoru for a while until the day of the party

Once there, you got so many apologies from all of the members but Hikaru was still super cautious with you

Eventually it was time to give the speech and you were so prepared but Hikaru pushed you out of the way and gave one for you

“I would like to say that, through these last couple days of hell, MC has supported me and been strong through it. And I love her for it...”

With this he drops the mike and runs to you

Ends with lots and lots of kisses after

Kaoru

Basically in the same boat as his brother

Much like Mori, he did not like you at first

He just felt like you were acting nice to get something out of the members

Eventually you confronted him about what his problem was

“It’s not you! You just remind me of her!”

Welp now he has to tell you who “she” is

You sit there on the phone with him as he tells you about his time in this cult with his brother and all of that jazz

Then he gets into the deep recesses of his mind and tells you of how this new member joined the cult and took him under her spell

This poor baby fell in love with her but then she revealed to him that the “leader” wanted her to scout out the weak

Now his heart is broken and he is being brought out of the cult, kicking screaming

He then tells how he and his brother were found by Haruhi’s father

So now you understand (and are heartbroken too)

After this he decides that he can’t do anything he regrets even more

So you guys become better friends

The days continue with you planning the party until on the 6th day when Kyoya tells you of the bomb that’s in Room 7

Also did he mention that there was a stalker that’s been seen following you home?

Well now he did!

You, ofc, flip the hell out and run to Kaoru in fear and anger

He protects you the best he can, until someone breaks into your house

Kaoru walks home to find you in a choke hold with one of the members from that cul- oh crap it’s my old cult

Then proceeds to knock them away and brings you into his arms

You and him are collectively freaking out and Haruhi walks in to see all this

She immediately relocates you both after what has happened until the party

The day of the party, you have a horde of bodyguards surrounding you

Kaoru tells the members that he plans on moving you and him to a safe house 

You and the others are taken aback but then he does something you would never expect

He quickly kisses you as to somehow affirm your support and love

TO BE CONTINUED

Kyoya

He had taps on you before you even got to know him

So he knew everything that made you tick and turn in your sleep at night

But one thing legitimately caught him off-guard

“Do you think cats are allowed in Room 7? I would like to bring mine from home.”

W H O A, H O L D  U P

You own a cat?!

This is news to him and he immediately says yes but not before checking if the cat was domesticated first

He pulls up to Room 7 where he finds you moving yourself in.

He picks up a couple of your things and wow are these classic novels and business textbooks?

He realizes how cultured and educated you are

Maybe files aren’t always correct

Anyways, he stays for awhile and pets your cat while both of you drink wine and chat

When he realizes what time it it, he kisses you on the cheek and leaves abruptly

The next day you drop by Kyoya’s office and are stopped by a formal looking woman who just stares and rolls her eyes at you

You walk in to see him angered and flustered

“I cannot believe my father wants me to marry her. That witch!”

That came out of nowhere

You sit him down and discuss what happened when he tells you that his father tried to set the two of them up

You are shocked but convince him to shake it off and leave it at that

However as you’re heading home, a car stops and this group of robed people try to force you into their car

But suddenly you hear sirens behind you and are rushed to safety by guards

When you are brought to safety, you realize it’s Kyoya’s mansion

“MC I saw you leaving and got a bad feeling so I had my men follow you. Good thing they were there, you will be staying with me for the night until they can find this group.”

Nights turn into days and days turn into whEN CAN I LEAVE

Eventually Mori comes and basically slaps the sense into Kyoya

“She’s a human, not a changed animal, Kyoya”

Kyoya sensing your discomfort, admits on how sorry he is and that he doesn’t know how to deal with these odd stirrings that happen

Stirrings = LOVE TRAINNNNN

Back to reality, Kyoya lets you return to Room 7 (with bodyguards tho)

The day of the party you looked at a package in the room unsurprisingly, it was Kyoya and he had sent you the fanciest dress money could buy

You arrive at the event and are suddenly shuffled to him

He smiles and sneaks a kiss with you before walking to the stage

He summarizes his appreciation for the guests. Haruhi’s father, and also for you (noting your ability to make him feel loved and calm)

He then pulls you on stage and puts an affectionate arm around you and continues with the party

It gets really sad and dark from here. They also kinda mirror 707′s ending and the secret endings

Tamaki

A well-bred French boy who loves to brag about his various luxuries in life

When he first sees you in the chat room, he jumps the gun and asks what a beautiful girl like you is doing in the conversation

“Looking for equally handsome boys”

Heart eyes for days

Unlike the other members, you click immediately and soon he is bringing you lunches whenever he’s not meeting with his father

You guys chat while snacking on commoner’s food

These chats turn into long conversations which turn into dates

Dates include him coming by the room with champagne and roses so that he can cheer you up as you plan

All is going well and you both are slowly falling in love

That is until Room 7 is open and you’re not there

Full out freak out and panicking

He then hears small, muffled screams for help inside the grand piano

He rushes over and sees you with your arms and legs tied with a cloth in your mouth

“M-MC let me get you out of there!”

You shake your head furiously and nod your head behind him

Too late

An unknown assailant knocks you and him out

When you wake up you’re in a jail cell with no escape

You both try to scream and get yourselves out but with no luck

Eventually a guard releases you both and guides you to a large hall filled with members dressed in similar garb

As you further your way into the room, a small gasp comes from Tamaki

For there in front of you both is a middle-aged woman

Upon some contemplation, you realize how much she looks like Haruhi

“Well Tamaki, it’s nice to see you again. Have you been treating my dear Haruhi well?”

Tamaki scoffs and is replied with a slap to the cheek by the woman

“Now you always were a well-mannered boy, whatever happened?”

“We thought you were dead! How could you do this and kidnap me and MC?!”

He was now screaming and crying

“Tamaki dear, you never realized how much more I wanted the HFA to be, it was some silly school fundraising club but there was so much potential power with it.”

She walked over to you and dragged a finger along your jawline

"For example this one, if she was originally in this ploy we could’ve run the highest of corporations...”

You squirmed under her sudden touch and wished for a way out

Then you heard a loud crash from the wall behind you

You turned and were immediately knocked down by Tamaki as bullets flew by you.

“MC on the count of three run!”

One

Two

Three

RUN!

So you did exactly that as Haruhi’s mom desperately tried to cling onto you, you kicked her off and ran into the safety of the outside

Once out, you were guided by Tamaki towards a familiar family logo of the Otori family

There are the personal bodyguards of Kyoya who guide you both to Room 7 and eventually home

They explain how they found cultist and would order plans to interrogate them for information.

They also say that they were not able to locate the body of Haruhi’s mother nor any of the other cultists

“How do we tell Haruhi?”

“I-I don’t know...”

Haruhi

(Of course this is going to be long and the most detailed)

The minute you entered, you knew who the leader was

Haruhi quickly established her hierarchy of the group and demanded to know why you were in her conversation

“I am Haruhi Fujioka, the daughter of the founders of this organization. Now I demand to know who you are.”

You quickly replied your name and as to how your got in contact with her.

She tells you that she will keep an eye out for you

Which you accept with gratitude

As the days progress you run into plans that contradict each other and you implore someone to come and help

Eventually she leaves the safety of her home to go over plans for the party

As she is about to leave you both receive a message from Kyoya that Haruhi must stay with you in Room 7

Both of you are puzzled, but no one dare go against Kyoya

Haruhi spent that night on her laptop, contacting anyone who could’ve known what happened or who has any information at all

At 5AM she receives her answer, her home has been blown up

Kyoya explains that the extraction team found various debris that indicated the detonation

Haruhi is now a wreck and refuses to talk to anyone but her father who is away on business

You try to console her but she just pushes you away and runs into another room

She yells at you to leave her alone and you leave, disheartened

You find her hours later surrounded by papers

“Haruhi, what are you doing?”

“I think I found something...”

She explains that as she was lying on the floor she had noticed a small hatch under the bed. She opened it and found plans and coordinates for a building.

Following some research, you found that the coordinates led to a small patch of land in the middle of a forest

The next morning, Haruhi is determined to find the meaning of the craziness that has been going on

You go along with her, cautious as ever, informing no one of your whereabouts in fear of being stopped

As you ride to the destination, all is silent in the car until she speaks up

“MC, thank you for coming with me. I want you to know that I have enjoyed my time with you an-”

You cut her off with a quick kiss and she looked forward and drove until you arrived

“We’re here.”

You both walk out while maintaining a cover behind the trees

In front of you is a structure that symbolizes a castle

You keep a stakeout of the building until you hear a loud voice behind you both

“Keep your hands leveled and walk towards the entrance”

Both of you do as your told and are thrown into a cell

You sit wondering on how to escape but then Haruhi pulls out her phone and quickly messages Kyoya and Tamaki for help

You do not see the reply as you are abruptly being guided out of the cell into a large room

Haruhi stands behind you and you see a group of hooded figures around you

“Haruhi, it’s lovely to see you again”

She freezes and begins to shake

“M-mom”

“Oh honey, how are you? Have you seen this place, your mother and father are just marvelous workers!”

Behind Haruhi’s mother is her father who walks out with his head down in an apologetic manner

“Haruhi, I’m sorry but your mother was always my first love”

At this point Haruhi is having a full mental break and is lying on the floor with her head in her hands

“THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!”

She then pulls out a gun and aims it

“Haruhi, it’s MC, please put it down”

You are now crying and shaking with her

“Haruhi, mommy knew you were always a pathetic joke. I should’ve had Kyoya help me develop the world in front of you now. He would’ve known that the bomb in our house was really meant for you. He was always smar-”

BOOM

She falls to the ground and Haruhi’s dad rushes to her crying

Haruhi throws the gun down and hides in your arms, crying, screaming, shaking

At this moment, the door to your side bursts with various dressed guards who are arresting the other cult members

You are both picked up and brought to Kyoya who tries to comfort you both but Haruhi is far too gone

She refuses to let go and clings to you until the paramedics pry her off

Talking to Kyoya after, he reveals the plans of both of Haruhi’s parents and how they established the building

You hold your mouth and begin to cry, knowing how much this will break her

You go back to her once you’ve finished talking to him to find her rocking back and forth

“M-M-MC, just hug me for a while...”

“Okay, I’ll be here for as long as you need”

Whoa this was a long one. This is my first time writing headcannons so I’m sorry if they aren’t perfect! Also I’ll include the aesthetics that follow this, so don’t worry! Thanks again for taking the time to read this and I may possibly continue the last three hc! For now, au revoir!