#oh and steve’s cologne after he spends the night (so basically every day)

[unspecifiedfigure]

redraw of one of my first steddie pieces!! <3

[javier-djarin]

Como Me Duele: Chapter 3

Ship: Javi x Reader 

Rating: M

Word Count: 3,710 words

Warnings: Language, Sexual Innuendos, fluff

Masterlist

Summary: Kate is coming in to town. She wants to visit you before you start your job. Meanwhile, tensions are rising with Pablo Escobar, and so Javi doesn’t want to let you wander around Bogotá alone. He also does something that he thinks both of you will regret.

A/N: I keep getting the most wonderful feed back over the first two chapters!! Thank you to everyone that has read it! I love you all! Here’s chapter 3!! So, please let me know what you think. Please let me know if you want to be on my taglist! Also, translations are at the bottom.

Your POV

A few days later you woke up in a panic. Kate was coming into town, as promised, and you needed to rush to the airport to get her. You, Connie, Kate, and Hannah were all housemates and best friends in college. Now, things were different. Hannah betrayed that sisterly bond the four of your shared, and she was basically an outcast in your circle. Kate, whom you looked up to as a big sister, always looked out for you. She promised that as soon as you were settled, she would come visit. You called her the day before you had gone out to the club, and she dropped everything to buy the cheapest and next flight out of Texas.

You overslept today, because you had actually spent the night with Javi. No, not like that. He invited you over for dinner, as just friends. However, you also drank way too much and ended up crawling back to your apartment really late. Your hangover was the worst thing you’d experienced in your life. You didn’t bother putting on make-up before leaving your apartment to go get her. Instead, you pulled your hair back in a messy bun, tossed on your favorite concert T-shirt (Boston), and a pair of shorts. You dug for your sunglasses in your purse before you called for a taxi to pick you up. They would be there in fifteen minutes, which was perfect. It gave you plenty of time to eat something light and pop a few Tylenol before heading downstairs.

As you locked the door behind you, you heard a wolf whistle. Slowly, you turned around, knowing Javi was standing behind you with that same shit eating grin he always has plastered on his face every time he sees you. “Rough night last night?” he asked.

“You’re not funny,” you mumbled, “I feel like I’ve been hit by a train.”

He laughed a little and wrapped his arm around you. He had obviously just gotten out of the shower, because his cologne was fresh. Mixing with his own musky scent, the smell made you drunk all over again. Luckily this time you could blame the weak knees on your excruciating headache. You let yourself lean into his side just a little. “Where are you headed, hermosa?”

“Airport.” That was all you could muster, this time you didn’t know if  it was because of your hangover or his intoxicating presence. 

“Oh right. You have to go pick up Kate.”

You looked at him over the rim of your sunglasses. 

“You told me all about how she was coming in to visit last night, remember.”

You nodded. “My taxi will be here soon.” You tried to push yourself away from him, but he held on.

“Nonsense. Steve is taking care of something for me, so I can run a little late.”

Okay. Now you were swooning. Thank god for those sunglasses. “You really don’t have to.”

“I know,” he smiled, “I want to. Taxis here are the worst. I’d rather make sure you’re safe.”

You walked down the stairs with him, but he still held onto you. You noticed he was a little on edge when you stepped outside as he glanced around, almost like he was waiting to be ambushed. “Javi…” you started.

“Go ahead and get in the car. I’ll tell your taxi they aren’t needed.”

You wrapped your arms around yourself and walked into the garage to get in his Jeep. You slid into the passenger seat as you waited for him to join you. Looking in the rearview mirror, you saw him with his gun drawn walking backwards into the garage. As he opened the door, he turned the safety back on and placed it in between the two of you. “Care to share what the fuck you’re doing?” you asked, slightly annoyed.

“Things are just getting a little more...intense with Escobar. They won’t dare touch a DEA Agent, but you’re not DEA.”

“Yeah, so why would they fuck with me?”

“Because you live in our building and spend a lot of time with us,” he sighed, “Don’t worry. I won’t let anything happen to you, hermosa.”

You smiled. His cheesy pet name for you was starting to grow on you. “Is that why you didn’t want me taking a cab?”

He put the Jeep in reverse and backed out of the garage. “If something happened to you and I was there to stop it, Steve and Connie would kill me where I stood.”

You looked at him with big puppy eyes as he started down the street towards the airport. “Is that the only reason you are chauffeuring  me?”

He smiled at you. “Don’t give me those eyes. You know I can’t resist them.”

You leaned over and put your head on Javi’s shoulder, still looking up at him. “Admit it, you care.”

He moved his shoulder and playfully pushed you away. “Alright, fine. I care. After all, we are friends.”

You laughed and squeezed his hand that was resting near his gun. “I know you do.”

Javi moved his hand away from yours and onto the steering wheel. The atmosphere changed rapidly in the Jeep, and it scared you. You noticed he was more tense. The veins in his arms seemed to swell as he clenched and unclenched the steering wheel. His left leg kept bobbing up and down nervously. “Javi…” your voice brought him back to Earth. “Tranquilo, hermoso. Todo esta bien.”

He glanced over to you before looking back at the road. “Yo sé, hermosa. Estas segura.”

You felt your heart swell just a little. You had grown close to him since the night of the club, although you were weary of him. You knew his intentions since that night, and you also knew his type. You weren’t prepared to get hurt again by someone who just looks for the next easy lay. But, you did respect him as a friend, because he was a good one. Loyal to the end, or at least you figured. As much as he and Steve would argue like an old married couple, he had Steve’s back regardless.

You leaned back in your seat just a little to alleviate the headache. You saw Javi glance over at you and smile. “What?”

“They’re my favorite band, you know?”

“Who?”

“Boston.”

You rolled over onto your side a little to look at him. “Seriously?”

“Fuck yeah. ‘Rock & Roll Band’ and ‘Let Me Take You Home Tonight’ are my favorite songs.”

You sighed. “‘More Than a Feeling’ is hard to beat though. Next to Boston though, I love Fleetwood.”

He took his right hand and held it over his chest. “A girl after my own heart.”

Laughing, you started humming ‘Rhiannon’ softly and closed your eyes. You crack one eye open and see Javi singing along just as softly:

Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night and Wouldn't you love to love her? Takes to the sky like a bird in flight and Who will be her lover?

All your life you've never seen A woman taken by the wind Would you stay if she promised you heaven? Will you ever win?

You both sang through a few songs before making it to the airport. “I can take a cab back home,” you said.

“I don’t mind waiting,” he replied, smiling at you. “Like I said, Steve’s taking care of it right now. So, I can afford to be late.”

Javi pulled into a front parking spot. “I’ll wait here for you guys.”

Smiling, you kissed his cheek. “Thanks, again, Javi.” You opened the Jeep door and bounced across the busy street to find Kate. Her plane had just landed, thank god. So, you patiently waited to see her walk down to baggage claim. ‘Rhiannon’ was stuck in your head, along with the look Javi gave you when you both sang “who will be her lover.” You knew you had a small crush on him, but you couldn’t risk the pain. The last time you dated a friend, you ended up leaving him for Colombia. You didn’t want to feel that kind of pain again.

“Y/N!” You hear, bringing you out of your thoughts. 

Your attention is drawn to the sight of a young woman running down a set of stairs towards you with a backpack on and arms spread. “Kate!” You ran to meet her half way and hugged as soon as the two of you came into contact.

“I am SO happy to see you. You look amazing!” she gushed. “Colombia looks good on you.”

You chuckled. “You’re kidding, right? I’m hungover as shit and have no make-up on.”

She smiled and hugged you again. “Well, you still look good, hungover and all.”

Shaking your head, you grabbed her suitcase. “How was your flight?”

“Long! I slept for most of it.”

You debated on warning her about your chauffeur. You had told her about Javier, but you knew if you let it be a surprise, he’d know all about your crush on him. As you neared the doors, you saw him standing outside his Jeep, leaning against it with his strong arms folded across his chest. Instantly, your knees wanted to buckle. You grabbed Kate’s wrist and steered her away from the doors towards the bathroom. “What are you doing?” she asked. 

Once you were certain he couldn’t see you, you turned to face her. “So, I wasn’t able to get a taxi to bring me here.”

She looked at you bewildered. “Did you walk here?”

“No,” you replied, your voice ten octaves higher than normal.

“Connie and Steve bring you?”

“Um, no.”

“Then what? Did you rent a personal chauffeur?”

You had to laugh at the last question. “Not exactly. I, uh, got a ride from Javi.”

She froze and then grinned at you once she realized what you said. “As in, Javier, your neighbor? The hot DEA Agent that works with Steve.”

“Shh! Will you shut up?”

“Oh my god. He drove you to the airport, and now I get to meet him.”

“Yes, so please be on your best behavior!”

She immediately grabbed her suitcase and started for the exit. “Kate! Seriously!”

She stopped in her tracks once she got out and looked right at him. “Is that him?”

“Yes,” you groaned.

“Holy shit. That’s Javi. Huh, I would be saying ‘Michael, who?’ too. Thank god you did not get stuck with that asshole, because you would have missed out on…” she motioned at Javi.

“Will you stop! He sees you!”

You looked over and saw him grinning at you, and he waved. “I’m sticking you back on a plane.”

It was too late, though. Kate was already making her way over to Javier Peña. 

His POV

A cute brunette was quickly making her way towards him like she knew him with a distraught Y/N following behind her. It was easy for him to figure out that this was Kate, her best friend from home. “Javi?” she asked, sticking her hand out for him to shake.

“Kate?” he said in return.

“Nice to finally meet you!” she replied excitedly.

He laughed and looked over at Y/N before answering. “You too. She’s talked so much about you.” 

He leaned over and grabbed Kate’s suitcase to throw in the back of the Jeep. She quickly hopped in the back seat, and Y/N started to follow her. Javi walked over with a large smile on his face and closed the door, leaning in closer to her. “Oh no, this is not driving Miss Daisy.”

She crossed her arms and gave him those puppy eyes he claimed he couldn’t resist, but this time, he held his ground. “If you don’t get in the front seat, I’ll put you there myself.”

Kate’s eyes grew wide and she started to fan herself, mocking Y/N. Y/N flipped her friend off and turned to Javi. “On a normal day, I’d say I’d like to see you try, but…”

He didn’t give her a chance to finish. Instead, he threw her over his shoulder and carried her to the passenger side of his Jeep before putting her in the front seat and buckling her seat belt. He winked at Kate and grinned at Y/N before closing the door and walking to the driver’s side. He heard Kate let out a muffled, “oh my god, you weren’t kidding” which made his grin even wider. He opened the driver’s door just as Y/N was telling Kate to shut up. 

Y/N reached across the seat and slugged Javi in the shoulder. “Cabrón. I was going to say that I wasn’t going to argue!”

“No quería darte la oportunidad.”

“Ahora estás presumiendo.”

He grinned at her with that devilish grin that warned her trouble was coming. “Por siempre y para siempre, hermosa.”

Kate leaned forward. “Hablo español. This is not as private as you think.”

Shit. He was so used to talking in Spanish around Connie and Steve, because neither of them could understand it very well. He felt his cheeks burn a little before he put the Jeep in reverse to drive back to their apartment complex. He looked over to Y/N and noticed she, too, was dying of embarrassment. “Do you want to…”

Y/N cut him off and reached for the volume on the radio. No music was playing though. Instead it was a news broadcast. “Temprano esta mañana, el cuerpo del ministro Lara fue encontrado muerto en su automóvil. Parece que fue atrapado en medio de un tiroteo entre sicarios. No hay más información en este momento ya que la policía aún no ha publicado una declaración.”

Javi’s face grew grim as he slammed his fists on the steering wheel. “Fuck!” he exclaimed. 

She reached over to touch his shoulder. “Javi?”

He shied away from her touch and pressed down on the accelerator. “Why didn’t that fucker just listen?” he said to himself. “Goddammit.”

“Javi.” She said again, trying to get his attention.

“Steve warned him. We warned him!”

She looked back at Kate who was terrified about what this could mean. He sat in silence the rest of the way to the complex. He parked his Jeep on the side of the street and helped Y/N and Kate get inside. When she unlocked her apartment to let Kate inside, he turned to leave. He had to get to the embassy. “Javi!” she exclaimed from the top of the stairs. “Wait!”

He stopped at the door and turned to her. She ran down the flight of stairs and stood on the bottom stair so she was eye level with him. She reached forward and grabbed his arms to drag him over to her, wrapping her arms around him for comfort. “This isn’t your fault,” she whispered.

He went slack at her words and his heart skipped several beats. “It is. We should have assigned him a detail, or something!”

She forced him to look at her as she placed her hands on both sides of his face. “No. There is nothing you could have done to prevent this. Sooner or later, Escobar would have killed him. You said it yourself: that man is a monster.’ This is not your fault.”

He gave her a half smile and placed his hands on each side of her face. “Thank you.”

“That’s what friends are for,” she smirked.

He felt a tightening in his chest at those words, but he knew now was as good a moment as any. He pulled her into a passionate kiss. At first, he felt her think about pulling away. Then suddenly, she leapt off the stairs into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck. He toyed with her bottom lip until she opened her mouth for him to deepen his kiss. She let out a small moan that only made him kiss her more to hear that sweet noise again, and then she placed her hand on his chest to push him away. “I….uh….I need to check on Kate,” she said, fixing her hair and shirt. “I’ll see you later.” And just like that she disappeared upstairs.

He stood there for a minute, reliving the last moment. His lips plump and raw from that kiss. He grinned to himself and looked up the stairs where she disappeared. He was definitely going to be late to the embassy now, but she was worth it.

Your POV

“You did what?!” Kate exclaimed when you told her.

You had quickly run into your apartment and closed the door, leaning against it trying to catch your breath. She saw the exasperated look on your face and finally pulled it out of you what happened. “It wasn’t like I did it on purpose.”

Kate looked at you dumbfounded. “I’m sorry. I need to explain it to me, then. Did you fall down the stairs and he caught you with his lips?”

“For starters, he kissed me.”

“Oh, and then you pushed him away.”

You replayed what happened in your mind, and you knew that was definitely not what happened. “Well…”

“I thought you said you pushed him away.”

“Well…” each time you said that word your voice continued to get higher.

“That is a very deep thought. What happened?”

You sighed and slumped down on your couch. “It doesn’t matter, because it will NOT happen again.”

“I’m sure you told him that too.”

You let out a loud groan and covered your face with a pillow. “What have I done? I am not ready for this! Also, he has women over to his apartment like every night. He’s a player. I don’t want to get involved with someone like that! It’s just setting me up to get hurt again. I thought Michael had changed his ways when we met, and clearly I was wrong!”

“Yeah, but Michael is an asshole.”

“Peña is an asshole.”

Kate laughed at your remark. “Okay, but he’s the best looking asshole I’ve ever seen.”

You peeked around the pillow at Kate who was sitting opposite to you on the couch. “That’s not helping.”

“How long has it been?” she asked.

“Since?”

“How long has it been?”

“Oh. Well, it’s almost been seven months since I broke off the engagement.”

“And were you sleeping together before that?” she asked, crossing her arms in an accusatory manner. 

You fell back against the couch and covered your face again. “The last time we slept together was about 3 months before that.”

“So almost a year. You’re going on a year without sex or any form of masculine contact.”

You hadn’t realized how long it had been since you’ve been with a man or how much you missed it until just now. Javi’s lips felt so good on yours. He tasted sweeter than anything you’d ever tasted before. Michael had never kissed you with such fervor and passion, or if he had, it had been years. You could still feel Javi’s hard body pressed into yours as his hands pulled you closer to him. He actually took your breath away. You didn’t start breathing again until you closed your apartment door. “Okay,” you agreed, “it’s been a while.”

“All I’m suggesting is you get that out of your system. Javi’s your rebound. You don’t have to start anything serious with him. He’s your little Colombian fling...unless of course he isn’t…” she mimed a ruler and mouthed the word “little.”

You threw the pillow at her. “You’re repulsive.”

“You need to get laid, sister. That’s all I’m saying.”

Sex complicated things, and you knew with your budding friendship, it was going to do exactly that. You also knew by the way Javi looked at you that it would be much more than a fast fling. He was trouble. Connie even told you as much. And so, you knew you were headed for another whirlwind of pain.

His POV

He didn’t remember driving to the embassy, parking his car, or walking in. He barely remembered Steve grabbing him as soon as he walked in to go to the crime scene. He went through the motions of getting in the passenger side and buckling his seatbelt. Steve didn’t notice Peña wasn’t completely there until they were on the road. “Earth to Javier Peña,” he said, snapping in front of his eyes.

“Hey, fuck off,” Peña said moving away from Steve’s hand, “it’s been a morning.”

“Where were you?” Steve asked, annoyed.

“I was helping Y/N and lost track of time.”

Steve shot him an even more irritated glance. “Do I want to know?”

“You can’t tell Connie,” he said with a drop of fear in his voice, “I don’t want her to kick my ass later.”

“Oh god,” Steve said, slamming his right blinker on.

“I didn’t fuck her, if that’s what you’re thinking. But, I did kiss her.”

He raised an eyebrow at Peña, waiting for him to finish. 

“It was a heat of the moment kind of thing. I think I just fucked everything up.”

“Yeah, you probably did.”

He groaned and ran a hand down his face. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette to smoke. “Fuck,” he said under his breath. 

“Yep,” agreed Steve, “you probably scared her off.”

Peña glared at his partner and flipped him off. “You’re my partner. Aren’t you supposed to have my back?”

“Only when you’re being shot at. These situations I’m required to tell you what a jackass you were.”

He took a long drag off his cigarette. “Oh really?”

Steve parked the car behind another cop car and grabbed his gun and badge from the glove box. “Yep. It was in the manual. Now, get your head out of your ass. You can deal with this when you get home.”

“Just don’t tell Connie.”

“I won’t, but she most definitely will. They tell each other everything.”

Peña let out another painful groan before finishing his cigarette. He followed Steve to the car Lara was found in, and instantly he forgot about his major fuck up from earlier. He was suddenly reminded of why he was in Colombia in the first place.

Translations

Tranquilo, hermoso. Todo esta bien. - Relax, handsome. Everything is fine.

Yo sé, hermosa. Estas segura. - I know, beautiful. You’re safe.

No quería darte la oportunidad. - I didn’t want to give you the chance.

Ahora estás presumiendo. - Now, you’re showing off.

Por siempre y para siempre, hermosa. - Always and forever, beautiful.

Hablo español. - I speak Spanish.

Temprano esta mañana, el cuerpo del ministro Lara fue encontrado muerto en su automóvil. Parece que fue atrapado en medio de un tiroteo entre sicarios. No hay más información en este momento ya que la policía aún no ha publicado una declaración. - Early this morning, the body of Minister Lara was found dead in his car. It appears that he was caught in the middle of a shooting between sicarios. There is no more information at this time as law enforcement has yet to release a statement.

Taglist

@larakasser​

@magneticbucky​

[lightsupinthenorth]

Read me like an open book part 1/2

Hey! :) Here is the first part of a two-part (at least I think ah ah) Harringrove fanfiction. It’s set a few years after the events of the third season (which Billy survived, obviously ^^). It starts on Steve’s birthday just because it’s my birthday today :p 

I hope you’ll enjoy ;) 

*

Read on AO3 

“It’s presents time, bitches!” Robin said, getting up from the floor, where Steve was still sprawled with Billy half-laying on top of him. 

They might have overdone it a little on the weed. Steve didn’t really care, though. He was relaxed and happy. So far, his twenty-first birthday had been the best birthday ever. Robin and Billy had organized a surprise gathering in their shared flat, inviting the kids, Nancy and Jonathan, as well as Joyce and Hopper. After everyone had left earlier in the evening, Robin had gone to her room and had come back with a bag of weed bought by Billy and her for the occasion, and they had gotten positively baked. 

Billy and Robin had insisted to give him his present when it was just the three of them instead of doing it at the same time as the others. When Steve had seen the weed, he had understood why. So, he was confused when Robin mentioned presents. 

“What presents?” 

“Your birthday presents, dingus. I know you’re high right now, but I didn’t think you were high enough to forget your own birthday.” Robin cackled. 

“Hey, I haven’t forgotten. I just kinda thought… wasn’t the weed the present?” 

“Pfff, no.” Billy replied. “What kind of present would that be? As if we didn’t already smoke weed on the regular.” 

He made them sound like potheads. They didn’t smoke that often… Then again, it did happen more frequently than their respective birthdays. 

“Yo, Buckley, can you go to my room and fetch my present for Steve too, now that you’re at it. It’s in the drawer of my bedside table.” Billy yelled, a lot louder than was necessary considering Robin was just in the next room. 

Steve whined. Billy’s voice was reverberating in his head. 

“Sure, you lazy fuck.” She yelled back, just as loud. 

They were so noisy!

“Open mine first!” Robin said as she sat down on the floor again, extending a rectangular package. 

Steve had to detangle himself from Billy, ignoring his mumbled complaints, before he tore into the brightly colored wrapping paper. He uncovered a thick book with a beautiful cover representing a sky full of stars. It was titled Long live the King. 

“I know you’ve taken to reading, these days, and this novel is amazing.” Robin assured. 

“It’s really not that good.” Billy grumbled, with a roll of his eyes.  

“Oh, you read it too?” Steve asked. 

“Uh… yeah, I did.” 

Billy was staring at Robin when he said it. And he was frowning. 

“Don’t listen to him, Steve, he’s being a buzzkill. You’re going to love it.” 

“I’m sure I will. Thanks Rob.” Steve hugged her.

He hoped Billy would still agree to help him with the book, even if he didn’t like it much. Ever since he knew Steve had trouble with written words, Billy would read to him all the time. It had become their thing. Steve loved his voice. Well, Steve loved everything about him, but that was off topic. 

“Now, here’s Hargrove gift.” 

Robin basically dropped the gift in Steve’s lap. The wrapping paper had multi-colored stars on it. Steve unraveled it carefully and found a set of pencils and a beautiful sketchbook. Billy and Robin’s gifts kind of coordinated aesthetically speaking, which was nice. Indeed, on the cover of the notebook was a drawing of the night sky, with the sea represented underneath. “My sea of stars”, was written on the front. 

Steve used to doodle distractingly during class. He’d been doing it since primary school. After he had graduated, his doodling habit had spread to his daily life. He would draw lines absentmindedly while he was on the phone or trace random shapes on discarded pieces of paper when he was watching TV but was too fidgety to focus. He hadn’t been seriously committed to drawing, though. He had only started making it into a real hobby after Starcourt. Billy had been the one to suggest it, in fact. After he’d literally come back to life, Steve and he had become good friends, and Billy had noticed his little habit and had bought him a sketch pad. Drawing helped Steve a lot. Gave him something to do when he was feeling restless, which was the case more often than not after the whole ‘Upside-Down and co’ experience. 

Steve was frustrated by his lack of technique, at first, and had almost given up on several occasions. But Billy had always been there to cheer him up and keep him going. He was certain Billy hadn’t even realized his compliments and encouragements had prevented Steve from calling it quits at least a dozen times. They spent hours together in their living room, on the couch, Steve drawing while Billy wrote in his huge notebook, with his feet on Steve’s lap. Steve was eager to spend many more hours that exact same way, drawing on the new sketchbook Billy had offered him. 

“It’s… it’s really nice, Billy. I love it. Thank you.”  

“You’re welcome, Pretty boy.”

They hugged, and Billy didn’t let him go, half-climbing on him again as they laid back down. 

“Ugh, guys, seriously, get a room.” Robin complained, which led to Steve blushing and Billy flipping her the bird. 

Steve would have attributed Billy’s behavior to the weed, but they had gotten more and more tactile since the beginning of their friendship about two years prior, so the weed didn’t have much to do with it. Except that maybe Billy would have waited for Robin to go to bed before attaching himself to Steve like a koala, if he hadn’t been high.

Either way, Steve was far from complaining: the more Billy touched him, the better. 

Before he went to bed that night, Steve took his secret sketchpad – the one in which he drew his best friend page after page (like an obsessed creep) – from under his mattress, and drew the version of Billy he had seen earlier: high Billy, with his lax body and hazy eyes.

A few minutes after putting his paper shrine back in its usual hiding spot, Steve fell asleep with a smile on his face, and the smell of Billy’s cologne on his own skin. He hoped all his birthdays to come would be similar to this one. 

*

When Steve got up the next morning, Billy and Robin were eating breakfast in the kitchen. 

He heard Billy say:

“Stop it, Robin. I can’t tell him, I just can’t.” 

It made no sense to him, since he had missed the beginning of the conversation, but his interest was picked. 

“You can’t tell who, what?” He asked as he went to the cupboard to get his favorite cereals. No way he would eat oatmeal like Robin and Billy. What a depressing way to start the day. 

“I, uh…” Billy started. Robin interrupted him, though: 

“He can’t tell his coworker that his new haircut looks stupid.” 

“Yeah… ‘Cause it would be mean, you know.” Billy added, before putting a huge spoonful of oatmeal in his mouth. 

“Uh… well, it’s true. It wouldn’t be a very nice thing to say, Rob.” Steve agreed. 

He put his box of cereals on the table and sat down next to Robin, in front of Billy, who was looking intently at his bowl.  

“Why do you think Billy should tell the poor guy his hair looks weird?” 

If anyone said that to Steve, he’d be devastated. That was for sure. 

“So he can let his hair grow back and have it cut in a more flattering way.” Robin explained. “It would be doing him a favor, in my opinion.”  

Steve hummed. “Makes sense”, he said. He was more focused on his fruit loops, though. It wasn’t like he cared about the guy anyway. He hadn’t even met him. 

Robin hadn’t either, so Steve didn’t know why she was so pressed on Billy giving him hair advice. Whatever floats her boat, he thought. 

His roommates were weird, sometimes. Nothing could be done about it. 

*

The next weekend, Steve and Billy were both off from their respective work, and Steve really wanted to start reading the book Robin had gotten him for his birthday. 

Billy was occupied with a novel of his own next to him, and Steve didn’t want to be a burden, so he started reading on his own. After a few pages, he was already hooked, but he got tired quickly, as he always did. Frustrated, he fidgeted a bit on the couch and brought the book closer to his face, as if it would help the words stop swimming in front of his eyes. 

Billy sighed. 

“What’s up, Pretty boy?” He asked, only then looking up from his own reading.

“I just… would it be okay… would you read to me? Please.” 

Billy sighed again, a bit louder. Steve’s face fell. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but Steve always looked forward to Billy reading out loud to him. 

“Sorry… I know you don’t like this book… I’ll ask Robin to read it to me when she gets home.” 

“No! I… I’ll do it, I’ll read for you. I really don’t mind.” Billy exclaimed. 

Steve was agreeably surprised by the amount of enthusiasm Billy displayed and he smiled at him when he handed him the book, letting their hands brush. 

“Thank you!” 

Steve kissed Billy’s cheek and laid his head on his shoulder.

“Don’t mention it, Pretty boy.”  

“Sure, I’ll mention it. It means a lot, you know.” 

Billy cleared his throat. “Right… if you say so.” 

Steve could feel the heat of Billy’s blush. 

He always downplayed the nice things he did, but Steve wouldn’t have it. He would keep showing Billy he was grateful for every little (and not so little) attention. Declaring his undying love to him would be a very effective way to make Billy realize how much Steve really appreciated him, but that would also do a lot more harm than good. Steve had to focus on the big picture, here. 

Billy began to read where Steve had stopped, and if Steve didn’t already know Billy disliked the book, he wouldn’t have been able to tell at all. He put his heart into it as he always did. Not only that, but Steve felt like Billy’s voice held even more emotion than it usually did. 

Steve fell into a sort of trance. The story was told in first person, from the point of view of a magician in a fantasy land, and Steve imagined himself as the narrator. In his mind, he could see everything Billy was describing: the village, the fields, the magnificent castle surrounded by a dark forest in which creatures lurked, the King who lived in the castle and whom the enchanter was secretly in love with.

Hours passed before Billy stopped reading. Still, Steve had to refrain himself from begging for one more chapter. He couldn’t be greedy; he didn’t want Billy to tire of him. 

“Here you go, Stevie.” 

“That was great. You’re the best.” 

“It’s just reading, Pretty boy. I didn’t hang the moon.” Billy mumbled. 

Steve nearly said “You might as well have”, but said: “It’s far better than ‘just reading’”, instead. That was a close call. 

They went to the kitchen to make dinner, and Robin came home from work right before the oven beeped. 

Steve ate his meal slowly, without really tasting it, and he didn’t say much, letting Robin and Billy do most of the talking. He was still somewhere far away, in a fantasy land ruled by a beautiful king. And, if the king was a carbon copy of Billy, it was nobody’s business but Steve’s. 

*

On Thursday, Billy went to Indianapolis, and Steve went with him. Apparently, Billy had been asked by his boss to go check and fix a few collection cars over there, and Billy had invited Steve to come with him. Said it would be fun. They’d spend the morning together and Billy would go to his work appointment after lunch.  

“Not that I’m not glad to have the opportunity of going on a fun little trip or anything, but couldn’t that guy find a garage in Indianapolis to take care of his cars? There must be more than a few.” Steve asked Billy, who had just started the car. 

“That’s because I’m the best in fucking Indiana, baby.” He said with a cocky grin. 

Steve rolled his eyes but couldn’t hold back his fond smile. 

“Right. Forget I asked.” 

“To answer more seriously, I don’t really know. But who gives a fuck? The guy paid extra… I mean like, a big wad of cash. So, fine by me.” 

Billy shrugged. 

Steve found it quite weird, but it was fine by him too. It wasn’t any of his business, anyway: he was just tagging along. 

He turned the radio on, and then Billy and he bickered for ages about what station to choose. That was somewhat of a tradition every time they were in a car together. 

“I’m driving, so I choose. It’s driver’s privilege, Pretty boy. Suck it up.” 

“But that’s not fair!” Steve whined. “You insisted to drive, it’s not like I had a choice.” 

“Too bad. You lose anyway.” 

Steve crossed his arms over his chest and pouted, making Billy laugh. The cold bastard. 

When they arrived in Indianapolis, Billy parked, and they chose a direction at random to go wander. Steve got caught up in some window-shopping, stopping abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk to stare at the newest Adidas sneakers behind the glass. 

Steve used to be given everything he wanted. Well, everything he wanted that could be bought with money. Now that he didn’t speak to his parents anymore and was financially independent, however, he couldn’t afford many unnecessary expenses. These shoes sadly fell into the “unnecessary” category. 

Billy had not immediately noticed Steve had stopped walking, so he had to go back on his tracks a little. 

“Hey, Stevie, give a guy a warning, would you? I turned to talk to you and you were not there anymore.” 

“Sorry, sorry. I was just… I wanted to take a look at these.” Steve pointed at the shoes. “I don’t know why I did, anyway… it’s not like I’m gonna buy them.” 

“Right… it’s fine. Let’s go get lunch, Pretty boy.” Billy said, steering him away from the shop, but not without giving the shoes a good look himself. 

They ate burgers and fries in a greasy joint they had stumbled upon. The food was pretty good. As a testament to that, Billy kept trying to steal fries off Steve’s basket. At first, Steve batted his hand away, but he gave up after a while. When Billy gave him a wide smile after finally succeeding, Steve couldn’t even be mad at him. He’d gave up all the fries in the world if it meant seeing Billy smile like that. Steve smiled back at him. 

In the afternoon, while Billy was at work, Steve went to a coffee shop and bought a cappuccino for himself, and a giant raisin oatmeal cookie to go for Billy. He grimaced a little as he ordered the latter. Billy really had weird tastes, sometimes. 

He sat down at a table and put the cookie in his backpack, before taking out his book. He progressed slowly, really slowly, only managing to read a chapter before he had to meet Billy back at the car. Yes, Steve had trouble with reading to begin with, but the fact that this book was making him emotional was not helping him read it any faster. 

He related to the narrator a lot. He, too, was in love with someone close to him yet unreachable. He, too, had to admire them in silence. And the object of his love was as beautiful and as brave as the King was described to be. The only difference was that the King was said to have brown hair and eyes.  

What the characters were going through also reminded him of what had happened because of the Upside-Down, in some way. Life in Hawkins was (or at least had been) so strange that it looked like something out of a fantasy novel. How wild was that? Steve mused, as he was waiting for Billy near his car. 

When Billy made it to the car, he was carrying a thick brown envelope in his right hand and a paper bag in the left. 

“Want some help with all that?” Steve asked. 

“Uh… No, thank you. I’ll be fine.” Billy assured, transferring the envelope in his left hand so he was carrying everything on the same side and could fetch the car keys from his pocket with his newly free hand. He opened the trunk and dropped everything in it. 

Steve didn’t bother asking what was in the envelope, or in the bag. If Billy had wanted to share the information, he already would have. Steve definitely wondered, though. 

“I have an oatmeal raisin cookie for you, if you’d like.” He said once they were in their seats, as he rummaged through his backpack in search of it. 

“Oh yeah thanks! that sounds perfect.” 

Billy took the paper bag from Steve’s hand as he unparked the car. Steve would have scolded him for eating while driving instead of focusing solely on the road, but that would have been slightly hypocritical of him. 

“Well, that’s a relief, because no way I’d have eaten that if you didn’t want it.” Steve made a face again. 

“That’s ‘cause you have bad tastes, Pretty boy.” Billy said, taking a big bite of the cookie and putting crumbs everywhere. 

Steve laughed. If only Billy knew how much Steve loved him, he would certainly backtrack on what he had just said.

“It’s delicious, you don’t know what you’re missing.” Billy said in between bites. 

Steve was watching him with a sad smile, glad that Billy’s eyes were on the road and not on him. It took him a few seconds to reply. 

“Oh I know, believe me. I know.” 

*

The next morning, when he woke up, Steve found the brown paper bag Billy had come back with at the foot of his bed. What the…? 

The idea of Billy sneaking into his room during the night to put it there made something tighten in his chest, but Steve was mostly preoccupied with finding out what was inside the bag. 

He basically jumped out of bed, which was very unusual of him (he was the exact opposite of a morning person), and reached for the bag. There was a box labelled Adidas in it… no way! Steve opened it with shaky hands and his jaw dropped. 

What… how… why? Steve was confused. Billy had gotten him the sneakers he’d been looking at in the shop window. How had he paid for them? Why would he spend so much money on Steve? Especially so soon after his birthday… This was far too much. 

Steve exited his room quicker than he would have if it had been on fire. 

“Billy!” Steve might have called his name slightly louder than he meant to.

Billy, who was sitting at the breakfast table with his back to Steve, jumped and put a hand over his heart. 

“Damn, Pretty boy, calm down. You nearly gave me a heart attack.” 

“What the fuck?” 

Robin darted her eyes between the two of them and announced: “I’ll leave you to it”, before retreating to her room with her bowl of disgustingly bland oatmeal. 

“What gives, Stevie?” 

“You know what, Billy. The shoes. What the fuck? Why did you buy them?” 

“Isn’t that obvious? You wanted them, and I wanted you to have them. It’s not that big a deal.” Billy was not looking at him as he spoke. 

Steve’s heart nearly melted. Because that was so fucking sweet of Billy to do what he did, and then say something like that. He couldn’t possibly accept the gift, though.  

“Not that big a deal? They’re so expensive, Billy… I can’t … I can’t just take them… it wouldn’t be right.” 

“Look, Steve… As I told you, my client from yesterday paid really well, and it’s my money, so I get to decide how to spend it, and I wanted to spend it on these shoes, for you. So please, keep them. They’re your size and not refundable, anyway. Either you keep them or they’ll just rot in the cupboard. That’s up to you.”

Steve was almost certain Billy was bullshitting him on the “not refundable” part, but he didn’t argue. It would be no use: Billy always won.  

So, he just hugged him tightly instead. Billy froze for a second, but quickly let go of the spoon he was still holding to hug Steve back. 

“Thank you so much. I don’t know what I did to deserve that.” 

“You don’t need to do anything in particular, Pretty boy. Being yourself is more than enough.” 

Steve was not a crier, but his eyes were undeniably misty. Billy couldn’t keep being so sweet and expect Steve to reign his feelings in. They were on the verge of overflowing already. 

After finally letting go of Billy (not before leaving a kiss on top of his head, though), Steve put the sneakers on. 

“Steve, seriously… you’re still wearing your pajamas.” 

Steve’s pajamas consisted in frayed basketball shorts and a old Hawkins High t-shirt, so it was fine to wear the sneakers with them in Steve’s book. And he wouldn’t take these off until he absolutely had to. 

“So what?” Steve asked. 

Billy rolled his eyes, but his ears were red. 

*

About a week later, Steve’s nightmares paid him a visit. They had left him alone for a while, but Steve knew they’d be back eventually. He saw Billy die again, which was simultaneously his worst and most common nightmare. 

“Hey, Steve. Stevie. Wake up, please.” 

He was shaken awake.

Thankfully, Billy was the one to wake him up from his dream, so Steve instantly knew he was alive and well. Steve threw his arms around him, buried his face in his neck, and inhaled his scent to calm himself down. 

Billy held him close and rubbed his back, whispering reassuring words in his ear:   

“You’re okay, Pretty boy. You’re fine. It was just a dream.” 

Yes, Steve was alright. But the most important thing was that Billy was. That had been the object of Steve’s concern. 

“I’m sorry… did I wake you?”

Billy sighed. 

“How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t mind, Steve?” 

“As many times as I have to tell you the same thing.”

Billy’s room was right next to Steve’s. It wasn’t the first time he woke Billy up with his nightmare-induced screams. And Billy’s night terrors had woken Steve up a few times too. 

“Touché.” Billy said. “Do you think you’ll be able to go back to sleep?” He added after a pause. 

“I don’t know… Could you read to me again?” 

“Sure, if it helps.” Billy agreed. 

Steve snatched the book from his bedside table and handed it to Billy, who opened it where the bookmark indicated Steve had stopped. 

“You read all this by yourself?” There was awe in Billy’s voice. 

Steve was blushing, but in the low light of his bedside lamp, it was probably not very noticeable. At least, he could always hope. 

“Yeah… uh… I was really into it.” 

He had read about seven chapters on his own, which, added to the ones Billy had read to him the other day, only left three before they reached the end. 

“Steve, you did really good!” 

Steve blushed even harder. His face was burning at that point. Billy sounded so proud of him. 

“It’s not like it’s a great achievement, or anything… but yeah, I guess it’s progress.” 

“Hey, of course it’s progress. It’s a lot, Steve. Don’t diminish your accomplishments.” Billy said in a firm tone.

“Okay, okay. I won’t.” 

“Good.” Billy sprawled on the bed and leaned against the headboard. He then tugged on Steve’s arm. “Now settle down.” 

Steve did as he was told and settled right next to him, resting his head on Billy’s chest and putting an arm over his waist. Steve loved the feeling of Billy’s naked skin against his. When they had first moved in together, Billy wore long-sleeved t-shirts almost constantly, self-conscious as his scars made him. Now, he slept in nothing but shorts. Steve wasn’t the only one who had been making progress.

Billy was barely three sentences into the third to last chapter when his voice broke. He cleared his throat and resumed the reading as if nothing had happened. His voice was now breathy, though. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yes.”

“You sure? We can stop.” 

“I’m sure, Pretty boy. Now shut up and let me read.” 

Steve effectively shut up and Billy got back to the task at hand. 

In the last three chapters, the King lost his kingdom, the magician finally confessed their love and found out it was in fact reciprocated. Then, the narrator described their first kiss with the King, a kiss that made Steve’s chest constrict with longing. The fact that it was Billy’s voice describing it only made the longing ten time worse. 

As Billy read the last words: “He was not ruling the kingdom anymore, but to me he would always be king. My king, my light, my love, my everything”, Steve was on the verge of tears. 

He regularly went through terrifying nightmares and found himself unable to spill a single tear, but this book might do the trick. And okay, it might have been a bit mushy, but Steve was really digging it, alright? 

He opened his eyes and saw a tear stain on the last page. For a second, he thought he had already started crying without noticing, but his cheeks were dry. It then occurred to him that the tear had come from Billy. 

Steve put the book away from him and had to straddle him so they could be face to face. He then wiped Billy’s tears, but they kept coming. 

“What’s the matter, Billy?” 

Unlike Steve, Billy was a crier. Steve had seen him cry a bunch of times, when he’d been particularly tired, or sad, or frustrated. However, there was something he was not getting: why had Billy pretended he didn’t like the book in the first place? It had to be the book. What other reason did Billy have to cry right now?

“I… I’m sorry.” Billy just said before he started properly bawling and hid his face in his hands.  

Steve was even more confused… and slightly panicked. 

“Hey… hey… please, tell me what’s wrong. I… I don’t know what to do.”

Steve circled Billy’s wrists to ground him, but he didn’t try to pull his hands away from his face for fear it might make him retreat further into himself. 

“I just… this book hits me really hard.” His voice was muffled, but Steve could still make out the words.  

“But… you said it wasn’t very good.”

Billy lowered his hands. His eyes were red and puffy. 

“I meant it… It still makes me sad, though.” 

Steve frowned. He didn’t think a book could elicit such reaction in someone who didn’t like it all that much. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Steve wouldn’t have judged Billy, he would have understood. He never wanted Billy to feel so bad, and even less if it happened because of something Steve had asked of him. 

“I should have… I should have said something. I’m sorry.” Billy’s breathing was uneven, and Steve could see his tears threatening to come back. 

“Hey, no. Don’t be sorry. You don’t have to apologize. Just tell me next time, okay?”

Billy nodded and Steve smiled at him tentatively. 

“Let’s go to bed.” 

“Yeah, sounds good.” Billy mumbled. 

Steve turned the lights off before moving from Billy’s lap to lay down. As Billy snuggled up with him, Steve couldn’t help but think about his recent behavior. Billy was acting a tad strange these days. He had gotten a lot better at expressing his feelings verbally in the last couple of years, and Steve was positive that the Billy he knew would have told him the book would upset him instead of pretending he would be fine. 

Steve would have to talk to him when he was more clear-headed. The last thing he wanted was for Billy to close himself off again.   

*

Thank you for reading :D 

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Kids Getting Older (Sriracha, Part 30.)

Description: A problematic college student gets the worst summer job of the ‘83 - Jim Hopper, the Chief of police in your hometown will have you as his secretary since his old lady Flo has two months lasting holiday. It was agreed so Hopper could keep you far away from all the trouble.

Part Summary: Since you realized that Eleven is getting older and more distant from both you and Jim, you just seem to finally realize how quickly kids grow... And that maybe the kids are not just kids anymore.

A/N: I love this weird family dynamic so much. It is really relaxing to just write a... Normal family dynamic. But that is going to end with the next part. Stay tuned!

Word count: 1.7 K

Tagging: @nemodoren @creedslove @missdictatorme

Master list: H E R E

Christmas holiday spent like a family? The Christmas of 1984 were the best Christmas you had lived through. You spent Christmas Eve in the house of your parents, cooking the dinner with El and mom, and Aiden's girlfriend - you couldn't believe she is real - while you let the boys talk about stuff and drink some Whiskey. Even Aiden got some - just a little, though.

The other day, when you opened all the presents you found under the tree, you left for Joyce's - and holy moly, that house was living. Both Wheelers were there, both Byers boys came along, there were Dustin, Lucas, and Max, even Steve came by. Joyce had a big heart and her house was big enough to take in so many people.

You forced both Hopper and Eleven to pose on a photo with you, having Jonathan taking the picture of you. Each of you had the most disgusting Christmas sweater, just because Aiden bought and gave you these bad boys - Hopper's was too tight, Eleven's too big and your, no matter the size, was just disgusting. After that, kids took their new toys and went to play outside while the adults, along with Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan, remained in the house and had a cup of the special Christmas hot chocolate from Mrs. Byers herself.

Then, each of the kids got dressed up and went out for a snowball fight, snowman building and some sledding in the forest behind the house. And bet Hopper’s best shirt that you made him go too. Soon enough, you were there with all the teenagers while he stuck some snow under your jacket, hearing you laugh and scream out loud, having Will and Mike in total terror when you jumped around, trying to get the snow out. In the end, you formed a strong alliance with Eleven and Max, giving the boys exactly what they deserved, winning the fight completely. Then, to calm down, you proceeded to make some angels in the snow while Hop went back inside.

As the year progressed, Eleven started to have a few sleepovers here and there - sometimes, she stayed at Karen’s when boys had a movie or game nights, sometimes you had Max over for dinner. And let me say, since she was living with an asshat like Billy, her older brother, she loved spending time at your place. Especially when Hop had to stay at the station.

When talking about Hop, that man was experimenting. And you didn't know if you liked what you had at home or if you're afraid of what’s he going to come up with next. First came the mustache. Okay, he liked Magnum P.I., you could understand. Then, he put on a bit weight - he appeared taller and more like a bear than ever before. You didn't mind that at all actually because at least, you knew that he's happy with you. And... After that... The wardrobe and cologne experiments came by. Sometimes he pulled out such an outfit that you dragged him to the restaurant’s bathroom to kiss the living fuck out of him and to have a quickie on the bathroom.

Yet, sometimes, he wasn’t looking his best. At those mornings, you stood there, watched him with gritted teeth and walked around with your eyebrows raised. You tried to tell him gently that these maybe aren't working for him the way he would like to and that maybe, you could visit Starcourt with him to pick something else. But Jim was Jim and completely ignored your opinion when it came to fashion.

Starcourt. One of the best Bloomington-Hawkins inventions ever. You loved that place - from the big cinema to a variety of shops it had. Sometimes, when you knew that El won't be misbehaving after, you took there with you so she could choose some new clothes, sometimes you bought her an ice-cream, other times you just walked around the place and talked about boys and stuff. Especially about Mike.

Oh, you remembered the day when the three-inch rule came to your house. You were just watching a movie, curled under Hopper’s arms, being caught up in the chase. That was when a sudden burst of Eleven’s laughter could be heard, making Hop alarmed in a second. You tried to calm him down around this couple - it was the first love and it sure as hell was an intense one. You knew that these two were having make-out sessions behind the closed door... But were you two, you and Hop, any different when you met? No. You were kissing the living hell out of each other when any occasion came by, even after you moved back with him again, and since you were both adults, you even fucked every time and on every place, you got the chance to fuck on.

You were just like them - even at that time. But Jim was able to see incredible differences between you and him and Michael, as he called him, and Jane. He wasnt giving them any actual space, so there was no wonder, why Mike thought that Hopper is an old, insane bastard. You and Mike got along since you were normal when put in his words, and let them close the door. You built bridges of trust between you, Mike and Eleven and as long as you trusted them that they won't do anything insane, you let them have their time.

"Okay. That's it. That's it." - Hopper muttered out and got up, walking to the door. You tried to stop him from basically storming into the room, but it was too late. - "This door won't be closed as long as I'm in the house, do you both understand? Three inches at a minimum." - Jim told them with a pretty damn scary face as he showed them how to do it. When he got a nod from both Mike and Eleven, he left them be, still checking the door.

"You're too paranoid, Jim, I'm telling you." - You whispered once he sat down next to you again, cuddling you closer again. - "They're just kids." - You smiled and kissed his cheek, concentrating on the movie again. But Hopper was still very cautious about these two - his eyes were turning into their direction all the time, he was checking what they were doing until the very moment when Mike had to leave.

Over time, when Hopper had enough of constantly opening the door and checking on these two, you let the gang wonder around Hawkins with El, taking hikes in the woods and around the city. Sometimes they went to chill at the old sawmill near the town, but the all-time favorite was the hill about five miles from the city. They hanged there most of the time when spring and weather came.

You also did your best to spend time with Hopper, sometimes taking him for dinner at your favorite Spanish restaurant, sometimes you went for a walk too. But your favorite thing to do was still just hanging out with him at El. Of course, your mom made you visit them at least once a week. She wasnt too good at handling having both her children gone - both of them for college. Even Aiden had a girlfriend and sometimes, you just all went to their household to grill something and to chat. You loved Lena and you couldn't believe that she’s real. Your small bro was manning up rather quickly.

It was so weird since you could say when he and Steve ran naked around the swimming pool and where did he fell from his bike, telling Lena everything in the process, embarrassing the living shit out of Aiden. Naturally, she was first rather surprised about you dating such an older man, but as the time passed by, she got used to that tough guy and his douche jokes.

And Eleven had to say that she had everything she had ever dreamt of in the lab - parents, a family, a boyfriend, and friends. She even wasnt tugged in as a little girl anymore, she was going to bed on her will, with you kissing her whole face with laughter, hugging her tight every time. Her life couldn't be better. She especially loved when you and Jim didn't know she's watching and you put the gramophone on in the night, quietly, usually playing Sam Cooke or Ben E. King to dance in the living room. Jim was always making you laugh, he spun you around, whispered something to your ear, making you biting your lip as you smacked his shoulder - but for Eleven it was of sing that she can count on you.

But then, summer came by. You hadn't got any idea of why it was so weird. Eleven asked you if she can stay at Max’s on the fourth of July and even if you thought you’d celebrate it together, you let her have her time. You didn't have any idea of what was going on when Hopper suddenly disappeared without letting behind any message. Nobody gave you a clue that there are Russians set loose in and under Hawkins and that there is a fucking D&D monster who was possessing people with the help of Max’s brother himself.

On day two of loneliness, that was the fourth of July precisely, you had enough - you left to your moms and stayed there, waiting for anything. A call, a sign, for one of them showing up. But there was nothing. So you left for the shift that day - and that was where everything was set in motion without anyone of you normal people knowing.

[rax-writes]

Title: Hard to Handle Fandom: Stranger Things Characters: Steve Harrington x Reader Word Count: 3,425 Warnings: None Notes: Can y’all tell that I’m on a massive “best friends turned lovers” kick? // Request from anon for “4. “I think i’m in love with you, and that terrifies me.” 75. “I want you to fight for me!” and 76. “Please don’t go.” from the prompt list for steve harrington with a side of extra large angst please 💗💗 (and if u only do a certain # of prompts then u can choose from those three :))” – (I couldn’t find a way to include number 75, so that’s why it got left out.) ♥

gif made by @v-writings

The first semester of college is always the most difficult, for an innumerable amount of reasons. Not only is it nerve-wracking to be thrust into an entirely unfamiliar situation such as college, but it is a momentous change in one’s personal life. They’re away from their family, they’ve now got to balance difficult coursework with attempting to have a social life, they’ve got to attempt to develop a social life in this new environment – there are a thousand and one things that change in someone’s life when they go to college. And any fragment of familiarity is held onto as if it were the most valuable thing in the world. Whether it be the blanket they brought that still smells like home, or a photo of their family setting on the nightstand, any sense of home is cherished.

For Steve, it wasn’t some treasured memento from home – it was you.

Thankfully, the basic courses that every college student must take allowed you to share almost all of your classes with Steve. He was more than grateful for it as well. Despite being the former King of Hawkins, he was now essentially insignificant – and he didn’t quite know how to handle it. He had grown accustomed to everyone in his school knowing his name, to recognizing him as arguably the most popular person at Hawkins High. But here, no one – save yourself – knew him at all. He felt insignificant, and that constant, sinking feeling pushed him even closer to you, made him even more desperate to be with you always.

If he had to guess, that would likely be the primary factor in why he fell in love with you.

Steve had always cared deeply about you. You had been his friend since elementary school, when you’d punched a kid in the throat for stealing his crayons. (You’d gotten in loads of trouble, of course, but it was certainly a fun memory to look back on.) Even when you’d both gained attractiveness with the onset of puberty, neither of you felt any different about one another. You were still just best friends, and absolutely nothing more.

This was what made it even more perplexing to Steve when he found himself staring at you much longer than usual, eyeing the way you held the end of your pen between your lips when you were deep in thought, or the way you’d rock up to class with messy hair and a coffee after a long night of studying. He found himself positively enamored by you – and it was absolutely mortifying.

The situation with Nancy had hurt Steve far more than he’d ever admitted to anyone. Sure, you knew all about how much he’d cried over it, how long he’d been heartbroken and downtrodden from it – but you didn’t know how irreparably it had damaged him. You didn’t know that he often lied awake at night, staring up at the ceiling as he wondered if she’d ever actually loved him? And if she hadn’t – if she’d never loved him in all the time they’d been together – how could he possibly tell if anyone else was feigning their love for him? Was he doomed to spend the rest of his life clueless as to whether or not he was a burden, an obstacle for the people in his life to overcome? How many people were only in his life because they felt obligated to be? You, Dustin – hell, even his own mother? Were you all only there because you felt trapped, spending every day working yourself up to leaving him? Were any of you there simply because you wanted to be, because you really did care about him?

These were but a few of the thoughts that constantly plagued Steve’s mind. Regardless of how many times he attempted to assure himself that you were his friend because you wanted to be, that you would never have stayed friends with him for this long if you didn’t actually care about him – he couldn’t shake the paranoia that you secretly despised him, and you were only still sticking around because you didn’t know anyone else here. The second you made some new friends, Steve would never hear from you again. You’d just toss him away, and the next time he’d see you would be at your high school reunion, on the arm of some douchebag who didn’t love you half as much as Steve did.

All of this only made Steve more apprehensive about his blossoming feelings for you.

And all of this only made him a thousand times more distraught when you started dating someone – someone who wasn’t him.

The guy’s name was Chad, and he was a bit of a prick, but he seemed to treat you pretty well. Chad himself wasn’t necessarily Steve’s problem – it was how you felt about Chad. It was how your entire face would light up when Chad would come up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing the top of your head. It was the smile that would spread across your face when he’d bring you take-out on a night he knew you were cramming for an exam. It was the way you’d laugh at his jokes, and the way he’d just smile at you as you laughed, as if you were the most beautiful thing in the entire world.

But since Steve couldn’t possibly bring himself to be upset with you, he generally took his frustration out on Chad.

Steve felt his entire body cringe when someone clapped his shoulder and sat down next to him at the picnic table outside the library. Chad gave him a friendly grin, as you took a seat across the table.

“How’s it going, man? Studying hard or hardly studying?” Chad questioned lightheartedly, and Steve managed to force out a brief laugh.

“Bit of both, I guess.”

“We’re going to the game tonight, do you wanna come?” you asked, and Steve felt almost embarrassed by how delighted he was by your offer. You’d both been extremely busy with homework lately, being that the end of the semester was fast approaching, so you hadn’t spent much time together. He was more than happy for any excuse to hang out with you – until he realized that that meant Chad would be there.

Oh well, Steve would just have to take what he could get.

“Yeah, sounds… sounds fun,” he said, and the smile that lit up your face made his mouth go dry.

“Great! I’ll swing by your dorm around six and we can walk to the game from there,” you said, and Steve just nodded, returning your vibrant smile.

That night, for the first time in a long time, Steve actually got ready. Not just the “do his hair and throw on some clothes” type of getting ready. No, Steve changed his outfit three times, spent twice as long on his hair than usual, sprayed on some of his seldom-used expensive cologne, and admired himself in the mirror for ten minutes, before he felt pleased with his appearance.

Truthfully, Steve didn’t even know why he was putting so much time and effort in tonight. The fact remained that you were still with Chad. No matter how nicely he dressed, no matter how fantastic his hair looked – you were still with Chad. That put a bitter taste in Steve’s mouth, and he immediately pushed it to the back of his mind. It’d been awhile since he’d gotten to spend time with you, and dammit, he was going to enjoy himself tonight. He wasn’t going to worry about who you were with, how long you’d end up being with them, or any of that other shit. He was just going to have fun, and enjoy hanging out with you.

Until you showed up at his door with slightly blotchy, red cheeks and puffy eyes.

“Woah, what the hell happened? You alright?” Steve questioned immediately, frowning as he bent down to look at you and brush some hair out from your face.

“Yeah, I’m fine, let’s go,” you said softly, turning to walk away. Steve gently grabbed your arm, and stopped you.

“Hey… what happened?” he repeated, this time with a much gentler tone. You let out a heavy sigh before turning around to face Steve again.

“I… I decided to go by Chad’s dorm early tonight, because I needed to use his computer to send an email to my professor. And when I went in there… he was with someone.”

“What exactly do you mean, ‘with someone’?”

“They… they looked like maybe they’d been kissing, but stopped when they heard the door opening. I don’t know, I… I just left and came here. He was yelling after me, but… I just left,” you explained, sniffling a bit before shaking your head. “Doesn’t matter right now. Can we just… go to the game, and focus on a bunch of people screaming at some guys chasing after a ball, rather than my currently fucked up love life?”

“Okay,” Steve said, nodding and brushing some more hair away from your face, before offering you a kind smile. “Yeah, let’s go.”

The game was pretty much exactly what you’d said earlier: a bunch of people screaming at some guys chasing after a ball. You got into the game much more than you usually did, and it was clear to Steve that that was intentional; you were choosing to focus on the game rather than your own thoughts. So, he did it, too. You both quickly joined those hollering and swearing at the game, occasionally screaming at the ref or cheering at the top of your lungs. Steve felt himself actually enjoying it – this weird, hyperfixated, energetic comradery between the two of you.

Until he felt that unfortunately familiar hand clap his shoulder.

“Oh my god, I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Chad said, panting a bit and looking relieved. “Baby, I’m so sorry, it’s totally not what you think –”

“Then what the fuck is it, Chad?”

Anyone who has experienced the uniquely awkward feeling of standing next to an arguing couple would understand why Steve decided to sneak away. He waded through the sea of people until he was down a few rows, ready to return to you when you inevitably dumped Chad for good. Despite the fact that it made him feel a bit ashamed, he couldn’t deny that he felt a little hint of excitement rise up in him. You were finally going to be rid of Chad, and maybe – just maybe – Steve could be with you.

Every couple of minutes, Steve would look back at you and Chad, to see if the argument was over yet. It was mostly you looking furious and upset, and Chad doing his best to placate you, and to come up with excuses for why he was snuggled up in bed with someone else. The argument eventually seemed to be winding down, and Steve assumed that you had reached the point where you were telling Chad to get lost. The team scored, and Steve returned his attention to the game for a few moments. And when he looked back, he saw Chad leaning down to kiss you.

Something in Steve’s heart snapped. He instantly wanted to be as far away from there as possible. He felt as if he were in a bit of a haze, his legs guiding the rest of his shell-shocked body down the bleachers, and towards his dorm. He walked like a zombie, and he felt like one. When he reached his room, he managed to close the door behind him and kick off his shoes, before falling face-first onto his mattress, burying his face in his pillow. Tears that he didn’t know where there began to wet his face, and before he knew it, he was sobbing.

It was a myriad of factors that ultimately caused Steve’s little meltdown. There were some external factors, such as the pressure of the multitude of homework he was dealt resting upon his shoulders and weighing him down. But primarily, of course, he was crying about you. He was crying because he’d been so stressed about his feelings for you, that he’d never taken the time to actually deal with them. Now he was being forced to deal with them. And he was being forced to deal with the fact that you didn’t want him; you wanted some cheating piece of hair-gel slathered garbage named Chad, and you may never want him. All of these intense, burdensome feelings that Steve now felt for you were likely all for naught; you’d probably never want him. Why? Because he didn’t feel that he was worth wanting.

Steve couldn’t be sure of how long he’d cried, but when he was through, he just felt empty. He felt empty, and then mad. And for the first time, he felt mad at you.

It was another hour before you showed up to his room, knocking softly before letting yourself in. You found him lying on his bed, his hands folded over his stomach as he stared up at the ceiling. After you dropped your coat on the ground, he didn’t acknowledge at your presence, so for a second, you thought he was asleep, until he spoke.

“What’re you doing here?”

His voice was hollow and hoarse, and you frowned at his question.

“I’m here because you disappeared. You ditched me at the game, and I couldn’t find you anywhere. You actually worried me a little, I thought maybe you got sick or something. I wanted to see if you were here, and check to see if you’re alright.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Now go ahead, run back to Chad, like always. I’m sure he’s got some more bullshit excuses to give you.”

“What the hell is your problem, Steve?”

He sat up then, and in the dim light of his bedroom, you couldn’t see the tears that still stained his cheeks.

“What’s it matter what my problem is? Just go suck Chad’s face some more, and continue to not give a shit about me, just like you have been for the past several months.”

“You think I don’t give a shit about you?”

“Sure as hell seems like it,” Steve scoffed.

“You’re my best friend, and not having the time to see you makes me feel like a horrible person. You know just as well as I do that they’ve been piling on the homework for the past month or more, and I’ve just been too swamped to have the time to hang out. And it’s not like you’ve been coming to see me, either. But I know that it’s because you’re busy, and I don’t hold it against you. You need to untie the knot in your panties, and understand that I’m not doing this because I don’t give a shit about you. It’s because I just don’t have any fucking time, Steve.”

“Alright, and what about Chad? What about you being too blind to see that he’s obviously cheating on you, but you’re too thoughtless to just dump him and move on? Look, I get that you’re in love with him, but you’re being stupid.”

“I did dump him, you moron,” you snapped.

“Yeah right, I saw him kiss you.”

“Well, you must’ve left before you saw me slap the hair gel off him, and tell him to go to hell,” you retorted, and that visibly took Steve aback. “I told him that his excuses were bullshit, that I know he was cheating on me, and to never speak to me again. You clearly don’t know me at all if you think I’m ‘stupid’ enough to take him back, so I’ll just stake my ‘stupid’ ass home. Goodnight, Harrington.”

You snatched your coat up off the floor, and you were just about to walk out the door, when Steve jumped up to grab your arm, effectively stopping you in your tracks.

“Please don’t go.”

“Why should I stay?” you inquired bitterly. “To listen to you insult me some more?”

“No, I…” Steve trailed off before exhaling slowly and running a hand through his hair. “You’re not stupid at all. God, you’ve never been stupid, and you’ll never be stupid. I’m the stupid one. I got upset with you for no good reason, and I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that. I’m so sorry.”

“But why did you get that upset over thinking I got back with Chad? I would’ve thought you’d just… tell me that I’m not making a good decision, and talk with me about it – not yell at me and call me stupid.”

“I know, I know. I should never have acted like that. I feel like such a jerk. I’ve just… got a lot going on, and I took all of it out on the first thing that made me mad – which was thinking that this prick cheated on you, but you were taking him back. God, I’m so sorry,” Steve said miserably, leaning his back against the wall and running his hands over his face.

“Steve…” you said gently, and he looked at you. “What’s going on? What all do you have ‘going on’ that’s making you this upset?”

“Just… just homework, and shit like that,” he quickly lied, then shook his head. “You don’t need to worry about it, I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, Steve. I know you,” you said, frowning at him with a pitying look in your eyes. “What’s going on? Talk to me, please.”

“I… I think I’m in love with you,” Steve blurted out, before he could even think to stop himself. “And that terrifies me. And I don’t know how to deal with it.”

You just stared at him in silence for what felt like ages. The inevitable shock was clear on your face, from your raised eyebrows to your slightly agape lips – but beyond that, Steve couldn’t read you. He’d always been great about that, knowing what you were thinking without you saying a word. But now, you were stunned silent, and he didn’t have a clue what was running through your mind.

“You’re in love with me?” you finally asked, and Steve nodded. His mouth was too dry to choke out a response. You repeated, “You’re in love with me,” but this time, it felt more like a disbelieving statement. Again, Steve nodded.

He could feel his hands begin to grow clammy with fear, and he began wringing them together. He was on the verge of begging you to say something, anything at all to break the silence. Eventually, you looked up at him. Your eyes seemed to be scanning him critically, attempting to determine your next course of action. Then, all in one swift movement, you put your hand behind his neck and pulled him down to your level, crashing your lips against his.

It took him a moment or two to regain his composure enough to return the kiss, delicately placing his hands your waist, as your free hand moved to grip his bicep. Every single thought in Steve’s mind escaped him, besides the thought that you were kissing him – and it was the single best moment of his entire life.

When your hand drifted upwards into his hair, he managed to maintain his equanimity. But that went straight out the window when you tangled your fingers in his soft curls. As if on instinct, Steve pushed you back against the nearby door – which, mere minutes ago, you were getting ready to storm out of.

It was a very welcomed change of pace.

Steve’s hands moved from behind you to grip your hips, allowing your back to be pressed firmly against the door’s cold, hard wood. He pulled your hips closer, pressing your body against his, and both of you felt dizzy. By the time you broke the kiss, both of you were out of breath. Steve rested his forehead on your shoulder, and wrapped his arms around your waist, almost as if he were pulling you into a languid hug.

“I love you,” he heard you whisper softly, as if you were scared of saying it. “I’ve always loved you.”

“I’m pretty new to it,” Steve admitted, chuckling breathlessly. He absentmindedly turned his head a kiss to your neck, then added softly, “I love you, too.”

There were a few moments of content, comfortable silence, and you were the first to interrupt it. Steve could hear the smile in your voice when you spoke again.

“Now kiss me again.”

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