#oh and ps yes surprise this is the basic overview of one of my wips just less... angry and self loathing

[starrystevie]

steve harrington is confused. steve loves women, loves how soft they are with their bodies and their voices, loves their long hair and their pretty smiles and their gentle hands. loves the way he can slip his hand into theirs when they walk down the street, the little slap of indignation he gets on his arm when he tries to sneak it into their back pockets. loves the way his mother dotes on them and his father claps him on the shoulder when he brings home an extraordinarily pretty little thing in a pretty dress and kitten heels, a job well done.

but steve harrington is confused. steve hates the vile thing growing in his chest when he looks at someone who isn't soft, doesn't have gentle hands or kitten heels but he has curls falling over his shoulder and the prettiest smile steve's ever seen. he can't bring him home and he can't hold his hand and he can't slide his hand into his back pocket unless he's in the safety of the alleyway shadows. he gives steve the butterflies he wishes he could get with the women he picks up. he wraps a callused hand around steve's and it has his heart beating out of his chest. he talks and steve listens, hanging on every fucking word because he can't get enough.

steve harrington is angry. steve kicks and punches and screams into the forest under the watchful eye of the moon. he makes his knuckles bleed just to feel normal, yells until his throat feels raw and ugly, tries to find a way to bring him back to factory settings. he's not supposed to like him. he's supposed to find someone with a soft voice and a soft body, gentle hands and pretty dress, someone to make his parents proud. he feels wrong, like his skin is too tight. he feels bad, the pit in his stomach becoming a crater of guilt laced with rage. he feels mean, picking out every flaw eddie munson could barely have to convince himself he doesn't feel how he feels.

steve harrington is broken. steve is in love like he's always wanted to be but this time... it's terrifying.