#oh and please use the Read More link when posting long fanfics I am begging

[st-eve-barnes]

Unpopular opinion: if you don't use capital letters in your fanfic I blatantly refuse to read it, I don't care how many notes or how popular it is.

[mysticalrunawayprincess]

Everything He Ever Wanted

Hi Guys! This is a new Jay Park fanfic I’m working on (because we are in a serious shortage and us girls need our fantasy fix!) Its about Jay falling in love and wanting to settle down, and all the headache and heartache that ensues (cue lots of angst, sexy times and love :P). I post the stories on Wattpad as I’m not sure if I’d be able to post the full story on here (Tumblr guidelines and stuff) but I am going to be posting the first chapter here and then every time I publish a new chapter I’ll post the links for you to read. The story is for 18ANDOVER! If you are not 18 this story isn’t for you (sorry). And Jay if you are reading this: its pure fantastical fiction! I don’t mean to embarrass or cast aspersions on you in any kind of way. If you are reading this (PLEASE dont lol), I hope I did your fantasy character justice :P. For the rest of you, happy reading!

Oh BTW: New Chapters every Friday, but you get this one a day early just because I love y’all!!! xxxxxxxxxx

1. Home Is Where The Heart was

An exhausted sigh left Jay's lips in a rush, as he entered through the  open door and dropped his bags on the heated marble flooring.

Having been away on tour for 6 weeks Jay had a lot of bags to carry; all heavy, all full of laundry.

He paused and took a breath in, savouring the smell of home, the smell of Her.

She  hadn't been home in a long time. This was no longer to be Her home;  hell it hadn't even been Her "home" for longer than a few weeks, most of  which she had spent elsewhere (or rather somewhere else). But since She  had been the last person in the house before Jay had left for the tour,  Her scent still lingered. And it was this scent that invaded Jay's  senses, coiling around his synapses and holding them at ransom as his  mind cast back to the last moment he saw Her.

Jay stood watching   Her leave through the polished glass doors of his office building, Her   words still ringing in his ears like a death knell, "We can't do this   any more Jay, I have to go back and live my life..." She took a pause   here, her perfectly soft and plump lips quivering momentarily, almost as  if to hold Her back from completing the sentence,"... and you have to live yours."

Now the thing is, when Jay first saw Her walk  through the doors; Her soft hair in which he loved to bury his face now  framing Her face in a twist-out that beautifully rippled in the light  breeze of the evening night air as She stepped through the glass door,  his heart had soared and swooped the same way it did every day since the  very first day he had seen Her.

His face broke into an  unstoppable smile as he outstretched his arms to embrace Her,   automatically breathing in Her scent as She stepped into his embrace,   clinging to him as though She would be otherwise flung into the furthest  reaches of space.

Jay hadn't noticed the shine of unshed tears  demanding to be released. He hadn't noticed the taxi outside, and he  certainly didn't know that it was taking Her to the airport.

He was oh-so blissfully unaware of  all of these little details.

She had been going back and forth with this for weeks, months even, ever  since  their relationship had first begun showing signs of becoming  more serious (unbeknownst to Jay). And try as She might, She knew this  couldn't work; there were too many moving parts, too many things to  consider and too many sacrifices to be made. She thought it best that  She end this now before it got too serious and whilst they were still  able to at least salvage some sort of friendship from the wreckage.

Noticing She was lost in thought, Jay nudged Her, asking if She were OK.

Now  on the way over here, She had already told herself  that She wasn't  going to cry and do the whole melodramatic stuff; that She was going to  keep it light and factual and hoped he would understand.

And so  when She quickly lifted Her head to meet his eye, Her face had already  settled into a bright and easy smile, belying the ton of bricks that She  was about to drop onto the smitten and unsuspecting Jay Park.

Now,  as he watched Her leave after begging Her to reconsider ("... you don't  have to do this..."). His heart beat harder with every step She took   to the waiting cab outside. He was frozen helpless, unable to stop this  series of Very Unfortunate and Fucked Up Events.

He watched the taxi drive away, taking with it the only piece of true happiness that he had ever felt in a long, long time.

And he had let it happen.

BZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

The  vibration of Jay's phone broke him out of his reverie with a snap. He  thrust his hand into his pocket and pulled it out, glancing at the  screen as he made his way to the kitchen.

BZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

He paused with his hand on the handle of the refrigerator, his thumb hovering indecisively over the phone screen.

BZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

He  rolled his eyes and pressed the green button, putting the phone to his  ear at the same time as he pulled open the refrigerator door.

"Heeeeeyyyyyy  bro, whatcha doin'?" the gravelly voice of Jay's business partner Mike  came through the phone as vivid as if he were standing in the room,  rather than 5,000 miles away.

"Hey, Mike" Jay chuckled. "Not much, just got back."

"How was the tour?"

"Yeah it was good. The guys killed as usual," said Jay, into an empty fridge.

"Did you get any numbers?" Jay could practically hear the Cheshire Cat smile on Mike's face as he asked this question.

He  sighed as he closed the refrigerator door and made his way to the  living room. "No I didn't get any numbers Mike" Jay said, plopping down  dejectedly onto his plush sofa, allowing his head to fall back, eyes  staring straight at the ceiling.

"Jay, you are really wasting your unlimited pussy allowance, man!"  groaned Mike. Jay chuckled in response, closing his eyes and wearily  raising a hand to rub them. "Dude you should be literally DROWNING in  pussy!"

"I'm too busy for all that extra shit, Mike." Jay sighed.

"Extra  shit? Dude." Mike was all seriousness now, leaving a pause so pregnant  that it caused Jay to sit up and open his eyes. "You are never, too  tired, for pussy!" Jay fell back into his original position, another  exhausted sigh leaving his lips as he landed except this time, he had a  little smile on his face.

Mike's dry humour was a welcome salve right now anyway.

"Plus, Jay; I'm married."

"I know Mike."

"So that means I'm living vicariously through you, my dude!"

"Mike-"

"Look,  forget about all that anyway" Mike interrupted Jay, sensing he was not  perhaps his usual playful self and wondering if he had perhaps struck a  nerve.

Mike was quite intuitive, even if he sometimes came off as  oblivious. In his world, he found that feigning ignorance can sometimes  be a better strategy around people, especially when dealing with the  types of sensitive and high-flying businessmen he was used to dealing  with on a daily basis.

Or when his friend had something - or  someone - on his mind that may need to be discussed away over copious  amounts of alcohol sometime in the near-future.

"Remember you  have the interview with Vogue Korea about the new AOMG site and app,"  said Mike making a mental note to revisit this again at a later time.

"Yeah" sighed Jay gratefully, thankful for the change in subject. "When is it again?"

"Friday. 9.30AM"

Jay pulled his phone away from his ear and checked the screen. The interview would be in three days time.

"Cool, my assistant already has the details anyway. I'll check my emails to see when the car will be arriving."

"Sweet. Hit me up later, so we can talk a bit about the Nike deal. But until then; GET SOME SLEEP."

Click

Mike ended the call.

Jay  allowed the phone to slide from his ear onto the sofa next to him,  bringing both hands up to gently rub his face before dropping his head  back and allowing his arms to drop onto the sofa back. The huge floor to  ceiling windows directly opposite bathed him in the light of the  setting sun, as he allowed his exhausted and aching body to sink deeper  into his seat.

As his mind drifted, he remembered a particular  evening spent on this same sofa during a thunderstorm not too long after  he had first met Her. In fact, there were many evenings he remembered  being spent on this sofa (not all of them as innocent as the particular  evening he currently had in mind however, but all of them just as  enjoyable).

Sharing one of those huge soft furry blankets that  She loved so much, with a low fire burning in the marble wood-burning  fireplace to the right of them.

She had been drinking Jack  Daniel's, and he had been drinking soju, both just talking to and laughing with each other in an atmosphere of comfortability, while   outside torrential rain pounded against the monolithic windows and   brilliant forks of lightening spilt the charcoal grey and roiling sky,   causing occasional rolls of thunder which reverberated throughout the   building.

The dichotomy of the chaos on one side of the window pane, versus the serenity on the other hadn't been lost on either of them.

Every  now again She would interrupt the freely-flowing conversation to point  out a particularly spectacular lightning strike or a close roll of  thunder would make Jay jump, which he would then try to disguise by  acting as though he was just moving positions on the couch or picking  up/putting down his glass (which She very politely acted like She did  not notice, or turned away to hide Her smile - which he had gratefully   appreciated).

Her being in Jay's house had been perfectly  innocent at the time, having being introduced through his artist Jarv  Dee, Jay had innately felt at ease around Her. She had an easy-going and  relaxed nature, with a quick wit and genuine smile. He became further  intrigued when he found out that She was a full-stack developer and  promptly discussed possibly working together on something some time.  Which is how the new AMOG website and H1gher app came about.8

That was exactly one year ago from today and 5 months from the day She ripped out Jay's heart and stomped all over it.

"We can't do this Jay..."

Her words echoed around his head like a death knell.

Jay  had spent every waking moment carefully analysing every detail of their  interactions - every facial expression, every vocal inflection - in the  hopes of being able to at least understand WHY She had done this.

Did he say something - do something - to scare her off?

How, when things were going so good between them, could she just end everything and leave so suddenly?

Jay  was aware that he was getting older but, he hadn't really ever thought  of what the future would look like for him and who he would want to  settle down with. The kind of jet-setting lifestyle Jay led meant he had  the luxury of being able to avoid thinking about such things under the  guise of being "too busy".  And with the fast life Jay led, the women he  came across had been just as fast.

That is until he had met Her.

Meeting Her had made him truly question his life dynamic, made him want to change his dynamic.

Made  him think about when would be the time to put down the mic for good and  step back to make way for the younger artists coming up behind him?

Jay  had almost single-handedly built an entire musical empire in a foreign  land, which meant he really had to think about who it was he wanted to  share that with.

A thought he had never needed to have before Her.

She  had awakened something in him that he had been confident was dormant,  something which he had convinced his concerned parents and nagging  brother he wasn't quite ready for.

She made him think more of the life after. After all the parties, interviews, world travelling, and screaming fans.

Of the life he lived when he was just Jay, the dorky kid from Seattle.

Who did he want to come home to? Who did he want waiting for him when the lights had faded and the music stopped?

The  morning after the lightening storm had been the first time Jay had  woken up to Her. They had fallen asleep where they sat in Jay's plush  sofa, having spent the evening bonding over their respective careers,  old 90s RnB and alcohol. Seeing her head resting upon the opposite  armrest of his sofa, the golden rays of the early morning sun  illuminating the golden undertones of Her skin, made something inside  him sing. He knew he liked having Her around, liked hearing Her voice,  liked knowing she was OK.

He loved being in her presence, hearing Her laugh, seeing Her focused frown whilst She was working.

He loved smelling Her, breathing Her in whenever he could.

He loved hearing Her footsteps on his hardwood floor.

He hated not knowing why it went wrong.

But  in just a few days the H1gher app and new AOMG website was due to go  live, meaning She would be coming back to Korea for the launch.

Meaning She and Jay would be in each other's company for the first time since Her departure.

Meaning Jay would not only have to face Her, but once She left he'd have to relive the pain of her leaving all over again.

Jay groaned inwardly.

This should be fun, he thought humourlessly.

Jay reached for his phone beside him and dialled an all too familiar number.

"Hello?" Came the answer down the line.

"Hey, is she free?"

"Good evening, Mr Park. Yes she is free. Regular timing?"

Jay let out a barely audible sigh, his 1000th in the 45 minutes he'd been home. He wouldn't need too long. "Yeah."

"She will arrive in 30 minutes."

Jay ended the call.

He  stood and made his way to his drinks cabinet, pouring himself some  Hennessey before walking over to the window to take a sip, surveying the  evening sky and awaiting his visitor.

The objective of the visit was purely for the purposes of release.

And as Jay's buzzer rang twenty-five minutes later, he knew that's all anyone who wasn't Her could offer him.

[fieryanmitsu]

Worthy | A3! Rare Pairs Week 2020 – Day 1 (Itaru/Izumi)

I AM SO LATE, but welcome to my first entry for the A3! Rare Pairs Week 2020!

This writing event is being hosted by @A3!_69min on Twitter and AO3 and focuses on writing romantic fics for unpopular A3! pairings. As it happens, every single Izumi pairing except Sakyo/Izumi is a rare pair per the event’s definition of rare pair.

SO, MY GOAL IS TO WRITE IZUMI SHIPS ALL WEEK!

Of course, I’m starting off with my OTP – I love ItaIzu so much, I’ll take any excuse to write them.

WORTHY

PROMPTS: Adoration / Jealousy

CHARACTERS: Itaru Chigasaki, Izumi Tachibana

PAIRINGS: Itaru/Izumi

My fanfic masterpost: Here

AO3: Link in my Blog Menu

Izumi was curious.

The question had been on her mind all day since her conversation with Muku over breakfast. The middle schooler had been excitedly telling her all about the shojo manga he was currently reading. Apparently, he hadn’t slept well the night before because he had gotten worked up over the latest chapter.

“You’re staring a hole into my head,” her boyfriend remarked suddenly, though his eyes never left the television screen in front of him, his thumbs flying across his controller.

Itaru was playing some kind of action-adventure game and was currently exploring an underground dungeon with his character. Ever since she had mentioned that she liked the background music, he played this particular game whenever he had to wait for her to finish reviewing her post-rehearsal notes.

“Oh, sorry – I was just… curious about something. But, it’s a bit, er, awkward to ask about…” Izumi responded, one hand fidgeting with the pages of her notebook and the other absentmindedly poking the back of her pen into the Poyo – some pink, round mascot character that Itaru liked – cushion on her lap.

“Oh? Why don’t you try me?”

“Well… I was talking to Muku this morning about the shojo manga he’s reading. There was a scene where the rival character was confessing to the heroine. It was apparently a very heartfelt and passionate declaration of love. Something about how even seeing her with the other guy made his heart feel like it was being torn apart by knives. And that he hated seeing her cry because of that other guy and that he’d give up everything to whisk her away and make her happy. It ended with him asking the heroine to pick him instead.”

“Ahhh, yeah, that’s a classic. Never fails to stir up the fans,” Itaru responded with a knowing nod.

“And then, Muku gave me a 20-minute seminar on classic shojo jealousy scenes and, uh, well… They were more, um, thrilling than I expected? Sooooo, it kinda just, you know… made me wonder,” Izumi stiltedly blurted out. She couldn’t believe she was going to ask him this – her face was already flushed with embarrassment. Maybe Muku’s starry-eyed wonder was contagious. “Do you, umm… ever get jealous of seeing me with other guys?”

“Uh… I’m not sure how to tell you this, but you have twenty other guys, twenty-one if you count Kamekichi, hanging off you – sometimes literally – every single day. If I got jealous every time one of them sat next to you, I’d be six-feet under already.”

“Okay, yeah, that was dumb question – let me rephrase it!” Izumi backpedaled frantically. “What would you do if someone else confessed their love to me – like they were trying to steal me away? Would you be jealous? Would you fly into a blind rage? Or pin me against a wall and forcefully kiss me?! Or barge in and passionately declare: ‘Choose me, not him’?!”

“Man, you really are starting to sound like Muku – all of those options sound awful, by the way. But, in all seriousness, I, uh… don’t think that would ever happen,” he responded with a nervous chuckle.

Izumi felt herself deflate a bit, unable to help feeling just a teensy bit disappointed that he had shot down her fantasies so quickly. At the same time, she wasn’t sure that she could even imagine him acting that way. She just felt like… it wouldn’t be Itaru anymore – and that thought also made her feel uncomfortable. Maybe this whole jealousy thing wasn’t as exciting as she had thought it would be a few minutes ago.

As her thoughts came full circle, she suddenly heard an odd sound from the television. She had been watching Itaru play this game for a few days now and recognized the sounds his character made when he was dying. Thinking that he was losing against a boss, Izumi glanced at the screen and saw that he was just fighting a bunch of normal enemies. She noted that the usual boss music wasn’t playing, either. Yet, his health bar was slowly, but surely, depleting.

Thinking it was strange for him to be playing so badly, Izumi shifted her attention from the television screen to look at Itaru. What she saw made the blood in her veins turn to ice. Unceremoniously throwing her notebook and poor Poyo to the floor, she practically hurled her body across the empty space between them.

Itaru had taught her the basics of how to use his GameStation when she had borrowed a Blu-ray movie from a friend, and she knew that, if she pressed the middle button on his controller, it would bring the user back to the home screen. Reaching over his arm, she pushed down on the middle button and a blue screen immediately popped up, effectively pausing the game. Gently prying the controller away from Itaru’s limp hands, she set it down on his coffee table before she turned off the television screen.

“Itaru, what’s wrong?” she asked worriedly, placing a hand on one of his arms and squeezing it gently.

The salaryman’s brow was furrowed, and he kept his face averted from hers, gaze trained on the floor. Even from his profile, she could see that his mouth was set in a firm and tight line. It had been a long time since she’d seen him make this expression.

“You’re not going to like what I’m about to say,” he responded after a long pause.

Izumi could feel her stomach drop. She had heard those words before – it had been right before her last breakup. She had thought things were going well between them, but maybe she was wrong…?

“Why don’t you try me?” she prompted, trying to keep her voice light as she imitated his words from earlier.

At the same time, she did her best to brace her heart, despite that it was starting to beat erratically. Whatever he said, she would graciously accept it – telling herself that she couldn’t afford to have things be awkward between them.

“Getting jealous over someone… it only happens when you don’t want them taken away from you, right?” Itaru said slowly, deliberately. “So… I don’t think I could ever be jealous… because… I… I don’t feel that way.”

Izumi couldn’t have possibly braced hard enough for that kind of impact. She could feel a hot feeling well up in her throat and tears were already prickling at the back of her eyes.

“Does… Does that mean you don’t want to be with me, anymore?” she asked, unable to help the waver in her voice.

Her question hung in the air unanswered as she watched him clench and unclench his hands on his lap, his eyes still stuck on the floor.

“Itaru, will you look at me? Please?” she begged. She was starting to feel light-headed and she just… She just needed to ground herself somehow.

After a long moment, he shifted his position to angle himself towards her on the couch, though his eyes remained downcast.

Izumi gently cupped his face in her hands and lifted his head to level with her own. She could feel his jaw clenched beneath her palms.

“Itaru, talk to me,” she coaxed gently, fighting to keep her voice steady. “What did you mean earlier?”

Though he didn’t move her hands away, he continued to avert his eyes.

“I… I can’t be jealous,” he began quietly. “Because… if someone else confessed to you, it’d be better that way. I’d be happy.”

“Why would you say that?” Izumi demanded, her tone coming out harsher than she had intended. She inhaled deeply to try and calm herself, though her brain was still rattled by his words. “Weren’t you the one who confessed to me first, Itaru? You asked me to give you a chance, so why would you think that way?”

A long moment passed between them in silence, but Izumi could see Itaru’s emotions warring on his face. She didn’t dare breathe until he finally opened his mouth again.

“Sometimes… I think it was a mistake that I asked you out,” he said quietly, his voice cracking as he continued on. “The more time I spend with you… the more I think about how… how you deserve someone better than me.”

Suddenly, she felt a wet sensation tickle against her fingers. As tears fell from his magenta-coloured eyes, Izumi was struck by several emotions.

The first was awe. For the first time, she understood what it meant when people said that there were beautiful criers. Though she knew that it was morbid, at that moment, she truly thought that Itaru was the most beautiful man she had ever seen, even as tears blotted his cheeks and turned his eyes red.

The second was sorrow. She felt unspeakable sadness that this person before her had struggled through so much in his life that he felt unworthy of being with someone he professed to love and thought that she would be better off without him.

Anger was the third. She was angry at herself for being unable to reassure him, to stop him from feeling this way despite the amount of time they had already spent together.

Last of all, she felt a surge of… something. She had only been in a couple of casual relationships before, and none of them as passionate as the one she had experienced with Itaru in the past half a year. Nor were any of them as comfortable as what she felt when she was with him. Spending time with Itaru both calmed her and brought butterflies to her stomach. Never in her life had she felt like she mattered as much as she did than when this man looked at her.

Was this love? She didn’t know, since she had no landmark to compare it against. But, what she was sure of was that she didn’t want to see Itaru look this way. She wanted to see him with his usual crooked smirk, just like the one he always gave when he teased her. She wanted to see his eyes crinkle like they did when he won a game. She wanted to see a smile on his face – like the one that bloomed across his face whenever the curtains fell after a successful Spring Troupe performance.

 She didn’t know when it had started, but she was crying as well.

 “Itaru,” she started, ignoring the salty taste in her mouth as her tears rolled past her lips, turning his face in an attempt to meet his gaze. “You… You don’t mean that, do you.”

 “I do,” he said firmly, still refusing to look her in the eye. Instead, he took her hands in his and removed it from his face – but rather than letting them go, his fingers squeezed hers tightly.

“No, you don’t,” she replied just as forcefully, finding her footing again as her heart resolved itself. “Because if you did, then you wouldn’t look so torn right now. Your hands wouldn’t be shaking. If you would truly be happy to have someone take me away from you, then you wouldn’t have been dying against enemies that you can usually beat in your sleep.”

 Itaru closed his eyes, as if he were wincing in pain.

 “Itaru, please. Don’t push me away.”

 A fresh stream of tears rolled down his face as he let out a rasping breath, shoulders shaking.

 “Did you know, the look on your face just now was so similar to when you told me you wanted to quit the troupe? You couldn’t look at me when I asked you to admit that you weren’t interested in theatre – that you didn’t care about performing with the others,” she said softly, using her thumb to wipe away the tears streaking his face.

 As a quiet sob tore its way out of Itaru’s throat, he leaned forward and buried his head against her shoulder, quickly soaking the material of her shirt. Letting her own tears fall, she lightly ran her fingers through his hair.

 “I… I want… to be with you… I want to feel worthy of you,” he gasped out in between sobs.

 “Itaru, I’m not some deity on a pedestal. I’m just a regular person, like you. You don’t have to be worthy of anything to be with me,” she replied.

 She felt him shake his head against her shoulder, his hair tickling against her chin.

 “If you still think that way, then… then let me tell you what I told you once before. Give yourself a little more time,” Izumi said, wrapping her arms around him, and nuzzling her face into his hair. “You owe it to yourself to keep trying. And… it’s not all on you. I’ll keep trying, too. I want to be a person that’s worthy of your efforts.”

 Then, after a long moment cradled in her arms, Itaru slowly lifted his head and finally allowed his red-rimmed eyes to meet hers, a small, lop-sided smile sneaking its way onto his lips.

 “Well… then I hope you’re ready to accept responsibility for your actions again.”

 “Of course!”

I had hoped to put this out on the actual first day of this week, but I kept rewriting it because I wasn’t satisfied with it. Even now, I’m not completely pleased with the finished product, but, I honestly don’t know how long it would take me to finish writing if I kept mulling over it! So, I decided to finally just settle with this version and post it and not look back!!

 In the end, I still got my central point across: which is that I wanted to write about how and why someone doesn’t feel jealous in a romantic relationship. And, so, this happened, haha. But, I didn’t want a sad ending, so I ended up on a hopeful note.

 Anyway, I APPARENTLY ONLY WRITE ITAIZU ANGST. I’m so sorry, Itaru – I’ll do you right next time!! No, really, HAHA. My entry for Day 2 (which will hopefully get written out in the next couple of days) is another ItaIzu and it’s NOT sad, I promise. In fact, it’s just PWP, LOLOL.

 If you liked my first entry, please do stick around for my other pieces for “A3! Rare Pairs Week 2020”! After my ItaIzu for Day 2, I’ll be moving on to other Izumi pairings. It’s a secret for now which pairings will all be covered in the end, but I’m here to spread the Izumi love!!

 Thank you for reading and please do leave a comment letting me know what you think! Any reblogs are always greatly appreciated and would really help me out!

 I hope to see you again! Bye for now!

 -Anmitsu

[lentils-writes]

Ocean Eyes

(So, this is a fic I wrote for my wife, because she is writing an AU where Valkyrie and Carol are Youtubers who do a dramatic reading of a self-insert fanfic they find about themselves. I wrote it as if I were 14 again and had an enormous crush on both Val and Carol, which was not terribly hard, except there are a lot more typos than I would have made. “My” OC is named Artimys and is loosely based on a real character I made up when I was 15. The plot is a homage to the story in this video. This is the most fun I’ve had writing anything in a long time, for real. Also, the jokes about Val blushing and crying constantly are on purpose yes.)

Chapter 1 - My Strange Addiction

Val waited at the door excitedly. Today was the day that her girlfriend Carol was moving in with her! They had been togehter for three years and loved each other very much. 

She heard a knock. “Hi Carol!” she said. Carol was stabding there with all of her stuff. “hi baby!” said Carol. “Im so excited so move in with you!”

“Come in” said val “We should get pizza to celebrate!”

The door opened to the apartnent next door and a girl stepped out. She had long brown hair that looked almost black that went past her butt and ceruleeen blue eyes that looked purple sometimes. She was wearing a black leather jacket and a red flannel shirt and combat boots. “Hi!” she said. “I’m your neighbor Artimys. If you need any help moving in let me know”

“Hi Artimys” said Val blushing. 

“Nice to meet you!” Carol said. Artimys waved and went away.

“Why did you blush when Artimys talked to you?” Carol asked. “Do you like her or something?”

Val felt bad. “Yes i do like her but I didnt want you to think i didn’t still love you! She is just so hot i can’t help it!” and she started crying.

Carol smiled. “Baby don’t be sad, I think she was hot too. and I know what we can do about that.......”

Chapter 2 - Everythig I Wanted

Val and Carol knocked on Artimys’ s door. “Hello” said Artymis “what do you want?”

“We want you to invite you over for dinner” said Carol. “We are making spaggetti. You should come because Val is cooking and she is a very good cook.”

“Okay!” So Artimys came over.

While they were eating Carol said “Artimys are you dating anyone right now?”

“No” said Artimyz “but I am a lesbian.”

“Great well Val is bisexual and I’m lesbian too and we were wondering if maybe you wanted to go out with us sometime?” Carol’s heart was beeting so fast she worries that Artimys will be mad and run away.

Artimys opened her eyes very wide. “Wow! But I thought you were daring each other?”

“We are but Val has a crush on you” Carol said while Val blushed and her cheeks turned bright red. “And I think you’re so pretty. Please go out with us?”

Artimys blushed too. “I will!” she said smiling. “I think you are both so petty too. can I kiss you?”

“Yes” said Val and Carol and they leaned in and kissed her. All three of them kissed and made out and then they did it six times in a row (because they are all girls and girls can do that). Then they all went to sleep happy and in love.

Chapter 3 - listen beofre I go

Val and Carol woke up and got out of bed before Artimys. “I will make pancakes” said Carol. 

“Thank you!” said Val giving her a kiss on the cherk. 

Val went back to the bedroom and waited for Artimys to wake up. “Good morning sleeping beauty” whispered Val kidding her lightly on the lips.

“Good morning!” hummed Artimys. “Where’s Carol?”

“She’s making us pancakes.”

“Oh I love pancakes!”

“Me too” nodded Val. And then she got on the bed and they made out until the pancakes were done.

“Hey!” Carol yelled when she found them making out. “Don’t leave me out! That’s rude!”

And then there was a knock at the door. “Who could that be” said Cal and Artimys went to the door to see who it was. There were two big tall guys standing there wearing black shirts and black pants and black masks like they were bank robbers. “Who are you” gasped Artimys but then they grabbed her and threw her over their shoulders and ran away, kidnapping her!!!!!

“HELP! Let me go! screamed Artimis. 

Val and Carol ran out to see what had happened and they ran downstairs after the men. They tried to run after the van but they couldn’t run fast enough because the van was going too fast. Val started crying. “What do we do???

Carol grabbed her phone and called 011. “Help!!!!” she shrieked. “Someone kidnapped our girlfriend!!!!!!!!”

While the police were coming to talk to Val and Carol Carol got a Youtube notification on her phone. It was a message and it said: IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOU GIRLFIEND AGAIN MAKE A VIDEO ABOUT HOW SORRY YOU ARE FOR BRAKING UP WITH HELA. 

The police asked them a lot of questions. “Do you know of any suspects?” they demanded.

Carol showed them the message on her phone. “Maybe it was Val’s ex-girlfriend Hela, she’s a real bitch and hates me ever since Val broke up with her and started dating me. She makes makeup videos but they aren’t that great.”

“Oh I know who she is” said the police. “But she’s a nice girl and she would never do something to bad as kidnap somebody. We’ll be in touch of we learn anything.” Then they drove off.

“Now what do we do?” Val asked tearfully.

Carol was thinking. “I have an idea..........”

Chapter 4 - bellyache

Carol got on the phone and called someone. “Hi Natasha” she said “are you busy?”

“I’m picking a lock but not really” replicated Natasha. “What’s up?”

“Our girlfriend got kidnap and we need help” begged Carol. “Can you hack into the security cameras and get a license plate?”

“Im already in” said Natasha triumphantly. “And I’m loooking up the license plate of the van.”

“Thank you” sighed Carol. “There were two guys in a white van and they wore masks so we couldn’t see what they looked like. We think Hela did it but the police didn’t believe is.

“That butch” said Natasha “ok I’m tracking the can now, it’s driving to the airport.”

Val went and got the car and Carol got in next to her and Natasha told them where to go to follow the van. “Oh no” gasped Natasha. “They’re getting on a plane!!!!!”

Carol and Val ran inside the airport but the plane had already took off. “NOOOOO!!!!!!” screamed Carol.

“Did you see two big men buying tickets?” Val asked the ticket desk desperately.

“I’m sorry but I can’t yell you that, it’s illegal”

“Please” whimpered Carol. “These men kidnapped our girlfriend and we love her and want her back. We need to know where they’re going!”

“Well in that case” said the employee typing on the keyboard. “Dont tell my boss ok? They bought three tickets to Porto Rico.”

“We need to go there!!!!!” shrieked Val.

So they boght two tickets to Porto Rico. “I am sending you the cordinates” said Natasha and they got a text on the phone that said the cordinates.

“Thank you” gasped Carol. “How can we ever repay you?”

“I just want you three to be together” said Natasha. “Good lick.”

While on the plain carol said “we should make a video.”

“What?” shrieked Val. “Im not apologixing to Hela!”

“No” soothed Carol. “A cideo for Artimys so that she knows we’re looking for her and we love her.”

“Oh” said Val. “Good idea.”

So Carol got out her camera. “Hey copilots todays video is gonna be a little different. Val and I are making this for our girlfriend Artimys. Artimys we don’t know where you are but we’re not giving up on you. Don’t worry, we’ll all come home soon. We love you and we’re not going to stop looking for you. You don’t have to stay with Hela anymore.”

Meanwhile in Porto Rico

Artimys woke up. She was inside a cave and it was cold and windy. “Where am I” she asked.

“Hello” said a mean sexy voice and it was........HELLA!!!

Chapter 5 - Hostage

Artimys hasped. “Hela!!!!”

“That’s me” said Hala. “Hello Artumys.”

“Where are we?” demanded Artimys “where are Carol and Cal?” 

“That doesn’t matter.” Scoffed Hela. “Your going to be MY girlfriend now.”

“No I’m not!” yelled Artimys. “Val and Crol love me! They will come save me!!!”

“Oh really” laufhed Heka. “Then why did they post this?” And she pulled put her phone and opened a video.

Carol and Val were in the video and said “Artimys we’re giving up on you. Don’t come home. We’re going to stop looking for you. We don’t love you anymore.”

Artimys started crying. “Why don’t they love me anymore????”

“Who knows” shurgged Hela and she put her arms around Artimys confritingly. “But I love you.”

Artumys was still crying and Hela said “let me get you some tea that will make you feel better.” She gave Artimys the tea and Artimys drunk it.......but she didn’t know that the tea had a love potion in it!!!!! 

After Artimys drink the tea she stopped crying and said “Hela I love you so much! Why did I ever care about Val and Carkl. You are the only woman for me!”

“Of curse baby!” said Hela. And she out her arms around Artimys and they kissed. 

“Now that you are my girlfriend I think we should take some sexy pictures” said Hela. “That way I will be able to see how sexy and gorgous you are even when we are apart.”

Artimys blushed. “I’ve never taken pictures like THAT before Hela.”

“Don’t worry” Hela whispered “their jyst for me and don’t you love me?”

“I do” said Artimys and started to take off her clothes. 

“Good” said Hela. “And after I take these pictures then we can do it.”

Chapter 6 - When the Partys Over

The plane landed in porto rico and Val and Carol got off it and called Natasha. “Have you seen the pictures” asked Natasha.

“What pictures?”

Natasha texted them a link and they opened it. They were baked pictures of Artimys!!! In some of the pictures she was wearing underwear but in a lot of them she was wearing noting and doing sexy poses for the camera. “Oh no!!!!!” gasped Val starting to cry.

“What happened???” Carol womdered. “Did Hela take these??”

“I dont know but im texting you the address where she is” said Natasha.

They got a taxi to take them to the addresss Natasha  sent them. It wasn’t a very long drive but Carol spent the entire drive mad. “How dare she take these pictures!!” she shouted.

“Hela always wanted me to rake naked pictures but I said no” sighed Val. “I thought she might put them online if she got mad at me.”

“That’s why I would never take naked pics” said Carol wisely. 

They got to the address and got out of the cab. It was a cave! “Let’s go get Artimys back!!!” shouted Carol. They didn’t have any weapons but they had a lot of big mussels so it was okay.

“HEELA!!!!!!” roared Carol busting into the cave. “Give is our girlfriend back you bitch!!!!!!”

Hela and Artimys were naked and cuddling together in front of the fireplace. “Hello” purred Hela “she’s not you’re girlfriend anymore she’s MINE now!”

“Artimys!” shrieked Val. “We’re here to rescue you!!!!”

“Go away” screamed Artimys. “You said you didn’t love me anymore! Hela lives me and I love her! I never want to see you again as long as I life!!!!!!”

Hela cackled evily. “You’re too late! She loves me now and she’ll never love you again!”

Carol flew over and punched Hela in the face hard. “Shut up bitch!!!!!!!!” she growled. Hela got up and stated fighting with her.

Meanwhile Val went to Artimys. “We never said we didn’t love you!” she said pulling out her phone and going to the video they made. “Watch this”

Artimys watched the video and glared her eyes. “Hela showed me a video where you said you didn’t love me anymore”

“No baby” Val said on the verg of tears “we’ll always love you.”

Meanwhile Carol and Hela were fighting. Hela was getting punched hard. “Stay away from us!!!!!!” screamed Carol giving her another black eye. Hela layed on the ground groaning in pain.

“Carol don’t kill her” Val said “I have called the police to come and take her away.”

“Fine” muttered Carol punching her in the nose one more time.

“How do I know your not lying” asked Artimys.

“Because we love you” Val said kissing her. And because it was true loves kiss it broke the love spell and Artimys remembered that she was in love with Bal and Carol and not Hela.

Artimys starter crying. “I’m sorry” she said “I let Hela take sexy pictures of me because I thought I was in love with her.”

“Its ok” said Carol coming over to kiss her too. “I think Hela put a love spell on you to make you fall in love with her. That’s not your fault.”

“She WHAT” hissed Val. 

“Dont worry I found it and got rid of the rest” said Carol. “She won’t be doing that ever again.”

Chapter 7 - all the good girls go to hell

They got on the plane to go home. “What will we go about the pictures?” Artumys asked scaredly.

“Don’t worry” Carol said soothingly. “I have an idea.”

When they landed Carol called Natasha. “Hi Natasha can you erase pictures from the internet?”

“Of course Carol, I have already done that. Right after Jela put them up I took them down. I also deleted them off the servers of everyone who downloaded them and I sent the FBI after them too. Everyone who saw them is going to jail.”

“Wow thank you” said Carol. “Your a great friend.”

“Anytime” said Natasha “I’m just glad you’re all back together.”

“See?” Said Carol as she hung up. “Narasha took card of everything.”

“I shouldn’t have take the pictures,” cried Artimys. “It was so slutty of me. When Hela said it it sounded like a good idea but I dont know what I was thinking!!!”

“Sash” whispered Val petting her hair. “Don’t cry baby it will be okat.”

“But I acted like a slut!!!!!” sobbed Artimys. “Only sluts take sexy pictures of themselfs!!!!!”

“It wasn’t your fault” said Carol. “Hela’s love spell made you stupid. She told you to take sexy pictures and you did because you thought you were in love with her.”

“I’m sorry!” cried Artimys. “I’m a terrible girlfriend. You should break up with me. I don’t deserve either of you!!!!!!”

Carol and Val looked at each other and then nodded. “We have a different idea” said Carol kneeling down and pulling a box out. 

“What??” gasped Artimys wipping tears off her eyes.

“Val and I have been thinking and we think it’s time to take the next step, and we want you to do it with us. Artimys, we love you and we will always love you no matter what. Will you marry us?”

Artimys cries happy tears and jumped into their arms. “Yes I will!!!!” she shirked with happiness.

Chapter 8 - I love You

It was a beautiful day outside. Inside the Air and Space museum Val Carol and Artimys were getting ready for the wedding in different rooms. Thor and Bruce were helping Val, Tony and Rhodey were helping Carol, and Natasha and Steve were helping Artimys.

“Are you nervous?” Asked Thor as he braided Val’s hair.

Val laughed. “No i’m happy Thor! I get to marry the loves of my life today.”

Meanwhile Carol was pacing back and forth. “You dont think Hela will try to crash the wedding do you?” she asked Tiny and Rhodey.

“No” said Tony “I have set up dozens of security cameras and robots around the museum. If they see her they will fire.”

Rhodey Pat her arm reassiringly. “She is in jail for seventy years. No way she will show up at the wedding.”

Meanwhile Steve and Natasha were helping Artimys get into her dress. It was huge Luke a wedding cake topper and covered in pretty blue and purple flowers that matched her eyes. “You look beautiful” said Batasha. “Val and Carol are so lucky.”

Artimys blushed. “Really?”

“Yes” said Steve. “Your the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen including my girlfriend Peggy (Sorry Peggy).”

In the main hall everyone was dressed fancy and waiting for the wedding to start. Nebula pushed play on the music and the wedding march started. Okoye waited at the alter because she was a prest in Wakanda and it counts in America too. 

Val came down the isle first wearing a sexy white suit and crying. She was in Thor’s arm. She wipped her years away when she got to the alter.

Carol came next holding Tony’s arm. Tony didn’t even make a joke because he knew this was serious.

Finally Artimys walked down the isle with Steve. Everyone whispered about how beautiful they all looked together. “Dearly bellved” said Okoye. “We are gathered here to marry these three women to each other. If anyone thinks they should not be married, speak now or forever hold your piece.”

The room was quiet. “Good” said Okoye. “Val North, do you take these women to be your wives to love and honor as long as you live?”

“I do” said Val starting to cry again.

“Carol Danvers do you take these women as tour wives to love and cherish as long as you live?”

“I do.”

“And Artimys Jones do you take these women to love and hold as long as you live?”

“I do”

“I know pronouns you wives. You may kiss!”

The room erupted in cheers as the three of them kissed. “I love you” whispered Artimys to her wives.

“We love you too” they said back before kissing her again.

[we-need-a-sexy-skeleton]

A Night On The Town: A One Shot Set in the, The Voodoo King Universe

Want to Read the main story? Chapter Three - Chapter Two - Chapter One

Want to read more stories in this universe? The Body Sleeping Next to me

A/N: This is my second time posting this, and I would like to apologize to everyone who I have now had to tag twice because that is very inconvenient. However, I had to re-post it because the read more link wasn’t working.

Summary: Mardi Gras through the years.

Warnings: Mentions of slavery, brief mentions of death, mentions of shipwrecks

Characters: Logan, OCs, Remy (Sleep), Virgil, Patton, Roman, Dorian (Deceit)

Tag List: @doyouhowdont @onelargemcbitch @patpots-blog @apologetically-anxious @painfullybisexual @vxrgilsanders @sanderssides-deathangel @enby-kiddo-with-a-blog @residentanchor @ccecode @sea-blue-child @cyberpunkjinx @fandoms-n-ship @alex-cain @chaosgaminggirl @lesliealiceinwonderland @knine-nights @randomfanderfriend @popsicletaco @juicy-cashew @ispeakhalflies @give-me-a-minute-to-think @callboxkat @thequeensqueer @justanotherpurplebutterfly @a-ghosts @up-at-3-am-reading-fanfic @ruby717 @phangirlandkilljoy @violetvirgil @thefallendog @vampiregeek2002 @illogicalsanderssides @happiholli @ierindoodles @whatamessofwords @thomasfandersunite @all-my-fandoms-are-killing-me @anuninspiredpoet @band-be-boss-blog @the-average-loner @unicornlogan @satanblessi @demonalisa2004

________________________________________________________________

Logan was already old by the time his first Mardi Gras happened. Fifty-five, to be as exact as possible without actually knowing his birthday. He had neither the time nor energy for anything like a Mardi Gras party. He was working on something big- something bigger than anybody would believe. He was far too busy to go out and see the people that danced in the streets- the youth that enjoyed themselves. And far too old, too. People didn’t live long in those days, especially not people like him.

But there was so much for him to see! So much for him to learn, he still couldn’t read or write, but that was the future! For people like him, for women, for men of any color or nation! He had far too much to do to be distracted by something as silly as a party. But his daughter disagreed.

“Papa,” Marie said, pouting at her father. Marie was only twenty-eight, a perfectly respectable age. And she was a perfectly respectable young woman. She was already married and had two little children, Virgil and Charlotte S’enfuire. The two were twins and eight years old, and Logan spoiled them whenever he could. But this was one time he wouldn’t go along with what they wanted.

“Papa,” Marie said again, looking at him more firmly. “Please, papa. Henri is going away next week, and I know how much you like him.”

Logan glared. “I don’t like Henri any more than I like this parade, Mon Cheri,” he said, standing. “But if Virgil and Lottie want me to go, then let’s be on our way. Your daddy wouldn’t like this, you know.”

Marie laughed softly. “Daddy was a hard man to please, papa.” Logan huffed unhappily but waved his hand.

“Oh, hush, child. I said I would go, didn’t I?” Marie grinned brightly.

________________________________________________________________

Logan’s next Mardi Gras was two years later, and he seemed much younger than two years prior. Similar to his first, it was spent in the company of his favorite daughter and grandchildren, this time at his own home, where Marie and her children moved to after Marie’s husband died at sea and they lost the house.

“Papy,” Virgil said, climbing into Logan’s lap. “Will you teach me about voodoo and the magic?” Logan looked down at the ten-year-old in his lap.

“Well, mon petite lapin,” Logan started, “The first you must learn is pronunciation. Vodou.”

“Voodoo.”

“Vodou.”

“Voudou.”

“Vodou.”

“Vodou.”

“Perfect, mon petite lapin. Now you must understand the Vodou is a religion. There is one supreme god, and then other gods that help him, for he doesn��t intercede in our affairs.”

“Does he have a name?”

“Bondye,” Logan said, setting Virgil on his feet and standing, leading the little boy to his altar room. “Bondye. What French words does that sound like?”

“Bon Dieu.”

“Very good. What does it mean?”

“Good God.”

“Well done, mon petite lapin. Those words were used to inspire Bondye’s name because we had to make our true religion look like white people’s religion.”

“Papy, I’m white.”

“No.” Logan looked at Virgil seriously. “No. You are the grandson of a slave. You are not white, no matter how light your skin is. You will be white when the blood of our people no longer flows through your veins. Your skin is light, mon petite lapin, but you are every bit a man of your tribe.”

“When will the blood go away?” Virgil asked, looking sad at the idea.

“Hopefully never, mon petite lapin, but the world is changing. You are light skinned and an attractive young man. You never know what the young girl who’s eye you will catch will look like.”

“I wanna learn more about Vodou.”

Logan laughed softly. “Yes, all right. Come along, Virgil, this will do you good someday.”

________________________________________________________________

The first Mardi Gras Logan spent with Remy was only allowed after Remy had begged Logan endlessly. Remy was new to New Orleans, he’d never been to something as fun and bright as Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Logan hadn’t been to one since Marie’s death over twenty years ago. He was scared, he supposed. Of what, he didn’t know.

“Lo, please,” Remy said, dancing Logan around their shared flat above Logan’s shop. “It’ll be fun! I promise.”

“You can’t promise that, Remy,” Logan said darkly, allowing to Remy to lead him in a rather exuberant waltz.

“Yes, I can! I’ll make sure you have fun!”

Logan found himself smiling beside himself. “Oh, all right. Let’s go.”

________________________________________________________________

Logan went to Mardi Gras every year up until Remy’s death, and he even went some years after. Maybe it was because Remy’s begging was even more effective in the body of a cat, or maybe it was because Logan had gotten quite fond of going. But he hadn’t gone since the beginning of the twenty-first century. And then, one year after meeting three film students, he found himself in a familiar situation.

“Logan,” Virgil said, pouting at his friend. Logan ignored him, pointedly reading a book.

“Logan,” Virgil repeated, more firmly this time. “Please, Logan. Even Dorian is coming! You like Dorian, don’t you?”

Logan glared. “I don’t like Dorian any more than I like this parade.” He stopped and set his book to the side, looking at Virgil more firmly. Yes. There, in the familiar tilt of his head, the roundness of his chin. “What’s your mama’s last name, Virgil?’

Virgil looked confused. “S’enfuine. Why?”

“Yes, I thought so. Well, let’s go. Will Roman meet us there?”

Virgil smirked. “Yes, your fiance will meet us there,” he teased. Logan flushed and shoved him gently.

“Let’s just go.”

Virgil grinned and danced ahead to find Patton. Logan watched him go, then called, “Virgil! Where’s your father from?”

“Senegal, why?” Virgil called back, even more confused.

“No reason,” he called. Then, quieter to himself, “Funny how bloodlines work out like that.”

“Hurry up, Lo!” Patton whined, stopping and looking back at him. “Are you taking so long to try to change our mind?”

“I said I’d go, didn’t I?” Patton grinned.

[nottodaylogic]

like, reblog, follow

Summary: It’s the social media AU you never wanted but got anyway! Starring: Roman, a writer gay! Virgil, an artist gay! Logan, a aesthetic/edit/headcanon/not-really-sure gay! Patton, a crafts gay! Continuity? Who’s she? Never heard of her. All we have is fluffy gays and bad attempts at everything else.

Word count: 19784 (THE LONGEST THING IVE EVER WRITTEN WOW)

Warnings: Gratuitous musical references, especially Be More Chill and Falsettos because they're my favorites and I'm trash, basic knowledge of them might be required? Also spoilers for Parks and Rec if anyone’s watching that right now, that happened apparently. Unrealistic depictions of online interactions/dating, probably. Panicking. Disappearing from the Internet. And, of course, lots of gay.

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15745062 (Ao3 deleted my formatting, words can’t do describe my annoyance, I’ll fix it later)

Ships: Prinxiety, Logicality, platonic lamp (every form, not gonna even try)

A/N: Well, we made it. I am happy (and relieved) to finally post this. This is my Big Bang ( @ts-storytime ) fic! It’s a weird format because my dream of making a Social Media AU has finally been realized. This is rEALLY LONG because I am a dumb child and thought, “it won’t be that bad!” It is. It is that bad.

My artist is @hghrules , they are fantastic, I’ll post a link to their part later! 

...later has become now, I’m screaming, https://hghrules.tumblr.com/post/177446248126/what-up-heres-my-ts-storytime-art-for check it outttt!

Virgil’s photos were taken by my amazing friend, she has an Instagram at @tofushoes_photography, if you like the photos please consider following her! 

And without further ado, let’s start this thing!

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces.tumblr.com

Princey!

Greetings, fair citizens! Thou mayest address me as Princey! I draw occasionally, as well as writing quite often. I am the gayest of the gay, forget this not!

———————

Logicallylo.tumblr.com

Logic.

Salutations. I am Logic, Lo if we are friends. He/him pronouns please, asexual homoromantic.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart.tumblr.com

99% anxiety, 1% mess

call me anxiety, or anx if you want. i draw. i’m a socially awkward mess. that’s all.

———————

Pattonhead.tumblr.com

Your happy pappy Pat!

Hiya, kiddos! I’m Pat, and I love puns, cute animals, and crafts! He/him, feeling ace pantastic as pawssible!!  Feel free to chat! :D

———————

Starbound-big-bang posted: After months of writers writing, artists preparing, and general anticipating, the writer/artist matchups have been made! Writers, show the artists everything you have so they can start. Artists, you can make as much or as little art as you like, but make sure it’s something you’d appreciate for 6 months of work.

Have fun!

1. @Veerleft — @perisureimace 2. @boundinboundinnrollin — @vectnxaer 3. @awkwardkitty — @veertrash 4. @disneynbroadwaynprinces — @anxiousanxietyart 5. @veertrash71 — @ilovegayrehearsal 6. @pastapastadad — @booksnstuff 7. @mewmewmew — @read-write-water 8. @mostlyhamilton — @drawing-n-art 9. @owlsareawesome — @becky-becca 10. @thefandomlife — @casey

Read more

———————

Anonymous asked: Hey, Princey! Oh my gosh I love your art??? And your fics are fantastic aahh???? Especially your collabs with LogicallyLo? How did you two meet?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces answered: Thank you most kindly, Anon! Thou hast earned shiny Internet Golden Points! ‘Tis a long, thrilling tale, full of magic and danger! @logicallylo and I met when I rescued him from a vicious—

L: We’re brothers. That is the extent of the tale. Princey is exaggerating. As always. He is quite incorrigible.

P: You take the drama out of everything, dear Lo.

L: As the elder brother, it is my job.

P:  ANYWAYS, I introduced him to Starbound after listening to the musical soundtrack, and we read the books together. We became quite obsessed.

L: I also beta his fics. That is what brothers are for: so that they don’t make foolish spelling mistakes.

P: I do not?? Rude????

L: Sure. Lie to the Internet.

P: Everyone makes mistakes with these things!

L: I don’t.

P: October 24th, 20XX?

L: We agreed to never speak of this again. Thank you for asking, Anon.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted: Greetings, Bounders! I humbly beg forgiveness for lack of content lately. I can, however, promise that that will change, very soon. No exact date yet, but keep your eyes peeled!

Veerleft replied: Dark Princey show us the Veer angst

Perisureimace replied: Ooh, can’t wait!

Veertrash71 replied: You literally posted a doodle yesterday. It hasn’t been that long…

———————

Anonymous asked: Hey there Princey! I really love your art, but I was wondering: what the heckety heck is Starbound? Thanks!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces answered: Greetings, Nonny! Welcome to the Starbound fandom! We have red space gelatin and canon gays. Allow me to explain:

Starbound is a book-series-turned-musical-turned-almost-TV-show about space exploration and aliens with no concept of the gender binary. The cast of characters includes the protagonist, Peri, a part-human ace child who can kick some serious butt. There is also Vect, the bi/pan/is it bi if it’s in space/who even knows anymore disaster mechanic with some blaster talent. He used to date Peri, but now they’re the best platonic buds around. There’s also Xaer (Xay-eer), a pan cinnamon roll genderqueer fashion extraordinaire who has never even heard of the gender binary, zey are amazing and I love zem.

Veer is the ship Vect/Xaer. Need I say more? They are heavily coded gay and canonically queer, so it’s only a matter of time, I say.

To say any more would spoil stuff, so go read the books and listen to the musical and avoid the movie like the Black Plague and wait for Starbound: Awaken and the TV show while writing 50 tons of Veer fanfic like the rest of us!

———————

Pattonhead: Heya, Logic! I saw your concept art for a Murder Mystery Detectives Veer AU, and I was intrigued! I’m not that good at drawin’, but maybe I could make something? Or maybe just talk about it?

Logicallylo: Salutations, Pat. Please, call me Lo. Feel free to do whatever you like with my AUs, so long as you tag me in the finished product.

Pattonhead: Aw, thanks, Lo!

Logicallylo: You are very welcome. It is my pleasure.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Stop pondering the meaning of life and come eat dinner, nerd!

Logicallylo: On my way, prep.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You know, you could have just typed omw?

Logicallylo: MYOB.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: No one says that anymore

Logicallylo: MYOB.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Greetings, Anxiety! It has come to my attention that we have been paired up for the Starbound Big Bang!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I am Princey, it is a pleasure to meet you.

Anxiousanxietyart: umm… hi, Princey?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Hello! Do you happen to have a Google Docs? I can share what I have with you so you can begin to do your drawing thing!

Anxiousanxietyart: um, yeah.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Splendid! Here’s the link: XXXXXXXXX

Anxiousanxietyart: thanks.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Here’s to working with you, Anxiety!

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: patton why did i let you convince me to do this big bang thing, i had to meet a new person, why

Pattonhead: Now, kiddo, it’s just one new person. That’s progress! I’m really proud of you!

Anxiousanxietyart: thanks, i guess?

Pattonhead: You have a lot of love to give, my child.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...okaaay then?

Pattonhead: You know I love you, you majestic and amazing sea otter giraffe, you.

Anxiousanxietyart: sea otter giraffe? that’s a new one

Pattonhead: ssh child sleep now

Anxiousanxietyart: ...it’s 2 pm

Pattonhead: s s h c h i l d s l e e p n o w :)

Anxiousanxietyart: ...okay then

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted: P: So, recently, my good ol’ bro @logicallylo was an idiot, and he might have thrown his computer at a wall. It’s broken now. So he’ll be using mine for now. Because of this inconvenience, I have decided to take this opportunity to make it into a bonding excercise!

L: Bonding excercise?

P: Yes, just go with it Supernerd!

L: Essentially, you may now ask me and Princey questions, and we will answer them to the best of our ability.

P: So let’s do this thing!

———————

Anonymous asked: Are you two twins! Who’s older?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces answered: L: I am the elder, and yes, we are twins.

P: But I’m taller!

L: Tallness has nothing to do with it. I’m older, I have always been older, I will always be older.

P: Sure, shortie.

———————

Veerleft asked: What’s your favorite Starbound book?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces answered: P: TAKE OFF! It’s really fantastic, and very gay.

L: For once, I must agree with my brother. Yes, Take Off is the best, objectively.

———————

Perisureimace asked: Any pets?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces answered: P: Verily!

L: ...verily?

P: Just roll with it. I have plans to procure a hamster, and will post a poll for names soon!

L: No pets here.

———————

Anonymous asked: Lo, what’s your favorite book? Princey, what’s your favorite musical?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces answered: P: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOW CAN I CHOOSE?! uMMMMMMMMM I’M REALLY INTO BE MORE CHILL RIGHT NOW, AND SINCE I’M IN A PRODUCTION OF FALSETTOS, THAT TOO?? YOU ARE TRULY EVIL ANON

L: I could not possibly pick one favorite book. There are simply too many to pick. That being said, I would be morally obligated to say that I am quite fond of detective novels, such as Sherlock Holmes and The Murder of Roger Ackwood.

P: ...that all could have been said in about 6 times less words…

L: Perhaps. However, unlike you, I prefer to use a great many words, as it shows my infinitesimal knowledge.

P: mhmm. Sure.

L: What does that mean?

P: oh, nothing! Nothing at all!

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted: L: I have now procured a computer. You need not send any more questions, but thank you for the previous ones.

P: This was very fun! I thank you all most kindly, young Padawans!

———————

Anxiousanxietyart posted a photo: this is just a sketch i made. i was listening to silhouette by owl city and angst happened. i’m sorry in advance.

Veertrash71 replied: Wow I didn’t need my heart???

Veerleft replied: Why would you do this Anxietyyyyyyyy

———————

Pattonhead: Virge? You doin’ ok, kiddo?

Anxiousanxietyart: yeah, i’m fine, why?

Pattonhead: Just checkin’ in. Love you <3

Anxiousanxietyart: love you too <3

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yo, Anx!

Anxiousanxietyart: um, what’s happening?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: So, my dude, if we are to work together for the Big Bang, we should know some more things about each other.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...okaaayyy?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Soooooooooo:

Anxiousanxietyart: sooooooooo?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Twentyyyy questionsssss!

Anxiousanxietyart: what.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You know, twenty questions!

Anxiousanxietyart: how does guessing objects help to get to know a person?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: What?

Anxiousanxietyart: what?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: No, I ask you a question about yourself, you answer, you ask me a question, and so on!

Anxiousanxietyart: ...i think we’re thinking of two different games here.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: No kidding, Sir Glooms-a-lot

Anxiousanxietyart: what?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: It seemed to fit.

Anxiousanxietyart: well, you know me well enough if it seemed to fit. guess we don’t need to do the question thing.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: No, we’re doing this!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I’ll start us off:

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: What’s your favorite color?

Anxiousanxietyart: …

Anxiousanxietyart: really?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yes really!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Mine is red, specifically stage curtain red, although gold is suitably regal as well. What is your answer?

Anxiousanxietyart: um

Anxiousanxietyart: i like purple.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ah, purple! The color of kings!

Anxiousanxietyart: also black.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Let me guess, like your soul?

Anxiousanxietyart: no

Anxiousanxietyart: like the void where my soul would reside, if i were to still have one.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: …

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ooookaayyy. I asked for it.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Now you ask!

Anxiousanxietyart: are you bored or something?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: MASSIVELY.

Anxiousanxietyart: sorry, gotta go help out pat with something.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh, okay. See you later

Anxiousanxietyart: bye

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Can we do something? I’m really bored aahhh

Logicallylo: Could you bother someone else?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Anxiety left, and everyone else is offline, and my theatre friends are sick or busy

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Help me Logi-Wan Kenobi

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You’re my only hope

Logicallylo: Very well. Would you like to meet me in the kitchen?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: YES! 

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Anxiousanxietyart: did i mess it all up?

Pattonhead: Oh, kiddo.

Pattonhead: You didn’t mess anything up! You’re a sweet summer child and you could never mess anything up!

Anxiousanxietyart: i feel like i made him hate me. how could he not hate me after that?

Anxiousanxietyart:

why am i such a mess, patton?

Pattonhead: You just need to talk to him! Explain yourself! 

Pattonhead: And you’re not a mess! You’re Virgil Brava. You are an amazing, kind, loving person, and if you say one more self-deprecating thing I will physically fight you <3

Anxiousanxietyart: thanks, pat. love you.

Pattonhead: Love you too <33

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: hey

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Greetings!

Anxiousanxietyart: sorry

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: What for?

Anxiousanxietyart: it’s just

Anxiousanxietyart: i feel like we got off on the wrong foot, and i definitely should have phrased needing to go help feed the pets better, and i’ve been thinking about this slightly obsessively all day, and i

Anxiousanxietyart: i just felt like i owed you an apology or something.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Hey, no biggie! Lo and I figured out how NOT to make cookies and instead make a huge mess of flour fight residue, so no harm done!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: (except to the kitchen. rip kitchen.)

Anxiousanxietyart: haha, thanks.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: No problem.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I have to go now, but maybe we can finish 20 questions later?

Anxiousanxietyart: i’d love to.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted: @logicallylo Trade-off poetry, go!

Logicallylo replied: I

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Saw

Logicallylo replied: It

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: In

Logicallylo replied: The

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Window

Logicallylo replied: And

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: I

Logicallylo replied: Couldn’t

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Dismiss

Anxiousanxietyart replied: ...you guys are literally quoting bmc.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: ;)

Logicallylo replied: Wow.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: princey. you are the biggest nerd I’ve ever known, and i know lo.

Logicallylo replied: …he has a point.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Betrayal!! How could you do this?! I trusted you!!!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: do you know me.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces:   You know BMC?!

Anxiousanxietyart: duh.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces:   I can’t get any of my friends into it for some reason!

Anxiousanxietyart: maybe because “listen to this musical! it’s about a guy who takes a computer pill to boost his self-esteem but it takes over the school” is hard to promote?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: …a fair point to you.

Anxiousanxietyart: also, you have friends?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces:   RUDE. Who else would put on Falsettos with me in a few weeks?

Anxiousanxietyart: who are you? jason?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ha ha, no. Too tall to be 13.

Anxiousanxietyart: maybe marvin, then. you’re self-obsessed enough, if nothing else.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Marvin is a wonderfully well-developed character, shush.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And I’m Whizzer!

Anxiousanxietyart: the one with the worst name.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Mendel. Weisenbachfeld.

Anxiousanxietyart: true.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Who would you play?

Anxiousanxietyart: trina. i’m always breaking down, it’d be easy.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I knew you were a (Michael) Well Of Despair, but no need for theatrics! Don’t say such things!

Anxiousanxietyart: we’re discussing musicals. with you, most dramatic of dramatic. theatrics are a given.

Anxiousanxietyart: also, too late :)))

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Nooooo! I’m forbidding you from saying bad things about yourself!

Anxiousanxietyart: you sound like pat.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Darn right I do! From now on, every time you say something bad about yourself, you have to come up with at least 3 good things.

Anxiousanxietyart: and if i don’t…?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I’ll tell Pat and he’ll fight you. Heck, I’ll fight you!

Anxiousanxietyart: you couldn’t beat me in a fistfight. you’re too small.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces! Square up cutie, I have a black belt in karate and I’m not afraid to use it!

Anxiousanxietyart: hmm. really.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: does princey have a black belt in karate?

Logicallylo: Well, brown belt black stripe, so technically no. Why do you ask?

Anxiousanxietyart: thanks, specs

Logicallylo: You are welcome, Eyeshadow^3

Anxiousanxietyart: …umm you should… probably work on your nicknames

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: you liar.

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: BETRAYAL! The karate studio closed the week before I was to get my black belt!

Anxiousanxietyart: details, details…

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: After I go fight Lo, wHO WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET HIS BELT BEFORE IT CLOSED, you’re next.

Anxiousanxietyart: i’m terrified. you’re so fierce.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Heck yeah I am!

Anxiousanxietyart: i was being sarcastic.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: rude.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted a photo: [photo] BEHOLD THE AS-OF-YET-UNNAMED HEIR TO THE KINGDOM, PRINCE HAMSTER! Help vote on his name! Here are the top cantidades as of right now: - Evan Hamsen - Alexander Hamsterton - Jeremy Heerester - Mendel Weisenbachham - Why do so many musical characters have last names with the first letter H? Opinions?

Veertrash71 replied: ALEXANDER HAMSTERTON

Logicallylo replied: You are not naming your hamster any of those.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Watch me.

Pattonhead replied: All these names are really ham-tastic!

Logicallylo replied: ...stop.

Pattonhead replied: :) no

Anxiousanxietyart replied: these are all simultaneously terrible and amazing. how.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: You all still have to VOTE…

Logicallylo replied: All of them are terrible.

Pattonhead replied: All of them are wonderful!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: nah.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: You are all the worst. I guess Alexander Hamsterton it is.

Veertrash71 replied: :D

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Thank you, Pat, for your help with finding hamster puns!

Pattonhead: My purr-leasure! :3

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Do you happen to have any more?

Pattonhead: Fur sure! Coming right ruff! :D

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I’m sure Lo would love for you to send him puns… :)

Pattonhead: Ooh that’s a pawsitively wonderful idea!

———————

Pattonhead: Fur reals, we need to talk more!

Logicallylo: …did you mean to send this to me?

Pattonhead: Yep, purr-etty sure you are the one :)

Logicallylo: I don’t like puns… why?

Pattonhead: Are you suuuure? That seems like a ruff decision to make.

Logicallylo: …

Logicallylo: Very sure.

Pattonhead: I coulda sworn you liked them… guess I was wrong…

Logicallylo: I am the wrong target for this. You are barking up the wrong tree.

Pattonhead: …

Logicallylo: Oh no.

Pattonhead: you mADE A PUN!!!!!!!!!!

Logicallylo: Unintentionally! This means nothing!

Pattonhead: I will get you to make more puns if it’s the last thing I do!

Logicallylo: We shall see.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: patton.

Pattonhead: Yes?

Anxiousanxietyart: you’re flirting.

Pattonhead: No?? I’m not???

Anxiousanxietyart: yes you were.

Pattonhead: What?

Anxiousanxietyart: never did I ever think I would see the day

Anxiousanxietyart: that Patton Spider

Anxiousanxietyart: my best friend and roommate

Anxiousanxietyart: flirts with someone

Anxiousanxietyart: i’m shocked.

Pattonhead: Who would I have possibly flirted with?

Anxiousanxietyart: with lo, of course.

Pattonhead: ...oh.

Pattonhead: Well, I wasn’t flirting with him!

Anxiousanxietyart: i saw your messages. that was flirting.

Pattonhead: ...you can’t prove anything!

Anxiousanxietyart: mm hmm. anyways, come over here. i have cookie dough. wanna make chocolate chip?

Pattonhead: Virgil. I love you so much. You know me so well!

Anxiousanxietyart: love you too pat.

———————

Pattonhead posted an image: Chocolate chip cookies with the best best friend in the world! <3 @anxiousanxietyart deserves the world and I’d give it to him if I could and he helped me make these so at least I can give him half of these cookies!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: no, you’re the best best friend in the galaxy, pat.

Pattonhead replied: I love you more than the stars and moons and universes.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: ...you win this time

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Those look really good??? I want one????

Anxiousanxietyart replied: too bad, princey :)

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: whyyyyy

Anxiousanxietyart replied: :)

Pattonhead replied: Now, now, kiddos, be nice.

Logicallylo replied: Those do indeed look quite delicious, Pat.

Pattonhead replied: Aww, thanks Lo! :3

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Is that what you call flirting Logan?

Logicallylo: Shut up.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Wrote a bit on the fic, check it out!

Anxiousanxietyart: um, okay.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: hey, so one question.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Bring it!

Anxiousanxietyart: did. you. make. a. little. mermaid. au???

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yes, duh!

Anxiousanxietyart: ...well, if nothing else, it will be fun to draw.

Anxiousanxietyart: that being said, why.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: It was fun! Also it fit really well! Thou mayest judge me, but that will be your loss!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Also, since I find the most plot holes (read: any) of any Disney movie in it, it is my sacred duty to fix them in this fic.

Anxiousanxietyart: i mean, it’s a good idea?????? it’s just not what i was expecting is all

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: But of course, doing what others expect is not the Roman way!

Anxiousanxietyart: roman?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...Logan’ll kill me

Anxiousanxietyart: logan???

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Curse my loose lips! Ah look at that, tis time to leave! Places to be...

Anxiousanxietyart: your name... is roman?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...yes...

Anxiousanxietyart: that's a pretty name

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You think so?

Anxiousanxietyart: yeah

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: well, thanks, Anx.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...do i need to say my name? is that how it works?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: No! You don’t have to!

Anxiousanxietyart: okay.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...maybe later, who knows.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: !!!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Of course, it’s only if you want to! It’s your decision!

Anxiousanxietyart: gtg, bye

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Goodbye, Anx.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Uhh, Logan? I think I did a mistake.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: [image]

Logicallylo: Roman. You are an idiot.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I knoooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: What do I do now?

Logicallylo: Do I need to give you the Stranger Danger talk?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Please don’t.

Logicallylo: I won’t, but only because it would be more effective to tell you in person.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ughhhhhhhhh fiiiineeeeeeee. I know I deserve it. Kinda.

Logicallylo: ‘Kinda’?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Absolutely deserve it.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: But he’s not a creepy stalker! He’s Anx!

Logicallylo: “Anx” could be a front in order to lure disaster gays to meeting with him in order to murder you or eat you or something.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: EAT me? Now, I know I seem delicious, but that seems just bizarre. I thought I was the creative one here!

Logicallylo: Oy vey.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And fear not, I will not be meeting with him anytime soon, if ever. Besides, there are possibly many Romans in this world, much less the US!

Logicallylo: That does seem reasonably logical… However, be careful. You never know what people’s motives are on the Internet.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yeah, alright.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And now…

Logicallylo: Roman. What are you doing.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ;)

Logicallylo: You are going to die.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Live a little, Logan!

Logicallylo: You can’t do if you’re dead.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces:

Why.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: PAT! COME HITHER AT ONCE!

Pattonhead: Yes Princey?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Thou mayest call me Roman now.

Pattonhead: Oh okay!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And do you perchance like hamsters?

Pattonhead: All pets are valid!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: [image]

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: [image]

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: [image]

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Boom.

Pattonhead: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HE’S SO ADORABLKESJVABFHRSIHVIUHSDFIGJIRSTJHBG

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I know :)

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Your crush knows my name now.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: [image]

Logicallylo: First of all, he is not my crush. I have no crush. I am unfeeling.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Nice try to the person who’s known you since you were sobbing because you lost your stuffed bee.

Logicallylo: I’m going to ignore that.

Logicallylo: Second of all, I hope I don’t have to explain to you why that was a terrible idea and if you get murdered in your bed, I won’t mourn you.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Pat won’t murder me in my bed. He’s too soft.

Logicallylo: Oh I meant by me. Out of anger at your stupidity.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: …

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Point taken.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: But don’t my brave actions inspire you to do something about your situation?

Logicallylo: No. Not really.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Talk. To. Him.

Logicallylo: Why would I do that?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Because he’s a soft puffball and he likes you.

Logicallylo: No he doesn’t. He doesn’t even know me. And I don’t know him. He could very well be 80 years old and wishing to murder me.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Not romantically! Not yet, at least.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: He likes you as a person! That means the spark for romance is there!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Besides, this is Pat you’re talking about. Biggest-puffball-in-the-universe Pat. Are you aware of the words exiting your fingertips?

Logicallylo: Oy vey.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: tALK TO HIM! IT IS YOUR DESTINY!

Logicallylo: ...fine.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: HUZZAH!

Logicallylo: Only because I know you will pester me until I do.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You know me too well.

Logicallylo: I. Am. Your. Brother.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces:

Okay, Darth.

———————

Logicallylo: So.

Logicallylo: Hello, Pat.

Pattonhead: Hiya Lo! :D

Logicallylo: How has your day been going?

Pattonhead: It’s been pretty good so far! Yours?

Logicallylo: It has been satisfactory.

Pattonhead: That’s… good?

Logicallylo: It is.

Pattonhead: Yay!

Logicallylo: ...so, how’s the weather where you are?

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: The weather? Really?

Logicallylo: Why are you still here? Why are you looking over my shoulder? ...why are you messaging me instead of talking?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Because I can.

Logicallylo: But why?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Because I can.

Logicallylo: Ugh.

———————

Pattonhead: It’s raining a little, but I don’t mind! Virgil and I are havin’ a lil movie night!

Logicallylo: That sounds nice. What movie(s) are you watching?

Pattonhead: Well, I say movie night. I really mean we’re rerererewatching Parks and Rec for the 45th Time.

Logicallylo: I see.

Pattonhead: It’s a good show!

Logicallylo: It is indeed. Where are you at?

Pattonhead: Season 3 :)

Logicallylo: What’s your favorite character?

Pattonhead: WHY DO YOU MAKE ME MAKE THESE IMPOSSIBLE DECISIONS LO?!?!

Logicallylo: Because I wish to know more about you.

Pattonhead: Oh.

Logicallylo: Yeah.

Pattonhead: Uhh, I would honestly die for Ann she is my child I love her

Pattonhead: Also Leslie in general? She’s just great?? AND tHE TRIPLETS!!!! I cried aah

Logicallylo: Ann is indeed a good character.

Pattonhead: :D

Logicallylo: Objectively, everything about Tom’s business strategies is terrible and ineffective and illogical. However, Roman appears to enjoy him to some extent, for what reasons I cannot fathom.

Logicallylo: Ron has earned my admiration, although the probability knowing how that happened is as unlikely as Mark Brendanawicz (how is his last name spelled again?) returning.

Pattonhead: Oh yeah I forgot about him! Aww I’m sorry now

Logicallylo: There is need to be. He was likely removed for a reason.

Pattonhead: Who’s your favorite character?

Logicallylo: …

Pattonhead: Hey, there’s no bad characters!

Logicallylo: ...while I do enjoy Ben (despite his infuriating refusals of perfectly logical job offers for Leslie, of all things), he is not my favorite character.

Pattonhead: Who is it? You can tell me!

Logicallylo: …

Logicallylo: Objectively, I respect the heck out of Jerry.

Pattonhead: That… is not what I was expecting.

Pattonhead: But Jerry is good too! He deserves love <3

Logicallylo: I agree, and when he got to be mayor it was quite satisfying.

Pattonhead: Virgil likes April, of course. He seems to find her relatable :)

Logicallylo: That makes sense.

Pattonhead: What about Roman?

Logicallylo: He is quite fond of “Treat yo self”, obviously.

Pattonhead: Ooh that’s good too!

Pattonhead: Oh! I gotta go now, Virgil’s looking at me weird.

Pattonhead: Talk to you later?

Logicallylo: Of course.

Pattonhead: YAY! See ya, Lo!

Logicallylo: ...Logan.

Pattonhead: ?

Logicallylo: You can call me Logan. That is my given name.

Pattonhead: Oh. I’m Patton!

Logicallylo: So your username is not a typo?

Pattonhead: Haha, nope! XD Night, Logan! <3

Logicallylo: Goodnight, Patton. I hope you sleep well.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: That went well ;)

Logicallylo: His name is Patton.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...you got his NAME?!

Logicallylo: His URL is a pun.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: It wasn’t a typo?

Logicallylo: A self-referential pun.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Exactly your type, isn’t he?

Logicallylo: ...I am going away from you. I have no destination in mind. I simply need to exit your presence.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Rude.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Wait, who the heckity heck five abs and a peck is Virgil?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Logan?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Didn't get that answer, huh?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ugh, nvm.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: patton, you’re not even paying attention.

Pattonhead: Sorry kiddo! I guess I’m a little distracted.

Anxiousanxietyart: there was a puppy onscreen. you didn't even look up, much less start screaming and crying as usual.

Pattonhead: ...a little distracted, that’s all.

Anxiousanxietyart: this isn’t distraction, this is straight up black magic.

Pattonhead: Kiddo, it’s you and me here. It cannot be straight up.

Anxiousanxietyart: true, but not the point.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...wait.

Pattonhead: What is it?

Anxiousanxietyart: you’ve been staring at your phone all night, smiling like

Anxiousanxietyart: ...oh.

Pattonhead: ??

Anxiousanxietyart: you’ve been talking to lo, haven’t you?

Pattonhead: ...yes, what about it?

Anxiousanxietyart: oh my gosh Patton, you are not subtle at all.

Pattonhead: He messaged me, and we’ve been talking a lot, and he’s just really nice, that’s all!

Anxiousanxietyart: mm hmm…

Anxiousanxietyart: don’t lie. lying is wrong.

Pattonhead: I'm not lying!

Anxiousanxietyart: if you say so…

Pattonhead: I do say so!

Anxiousanxietyart: then come watch april be socially awkward and relateable in the corner

Pattonhead: Okay! :D

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Wait, who the heckity heck five abs and a peck is Virgil?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Logan?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Didn't get that answer, huh?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ugh, nvm.

Anxiousanxietyart: ?!?!?!?!?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh, sorry Anx! I meant to send that to Logan.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...or logicallylo, since he seems to be telling everyone his name tonight.

Anxiousanxietyart: where the hell did you hear that name?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Uhh, while spying on my brother messaging with his crush, why?

Anxiousanxietyart: …

Anxiousanxietyart: no reason. i just know someone named virgil. that's all.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ah, okay.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: So not because your name is Virgil?

Anxiousanxietyart: no

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I’m not a murderer, don’t worry. I will not use this information to find you and kill you.

Anxiousanxietyart: um.

Anxiousanxietyart: not reassuring.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: What can I do to prove my identity?

Anxiousanxietyart: give me your full name? sell me your soul? sign an oath in blood that you are prince roman of singalongland?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: YOU might murder ME if I give you my full name, I already sold my soul, and how would you know it was my blood?

Anxiousanxietyart: you could take a video of you signing it?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: OF COURSE! A SELFIE!

Anxiousanxietyart: eww no.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: eWW YES!

Anxiousanxietyart: why.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You cannot dissuade me now! It is too late!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: But you must take one too, so as to prove I’m not sending my beautiful visage to a random 80 year old man named Chuck.

Anxiousanxietyart: i… haven’t ever taken a selfie before… and i'm not a random 80 year old man named chuck...

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Well, I am a champ in the Great Selfie Game, so you may learn from a mASTER!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And I'll believe it when I see it, CHUCK.

Anxiousanxietyart: Okay, but until I see you, you can't prove you’re not an 80 year old woman named gertrude, so you have to go first.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I’m not an 80 year old woman named GERTRUDE!

Anxiousanxietyart: Whatever you say, gertrude.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Logan help me

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh wait you’re asleep

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: So if I get murdered because of this, it’s your fault okay

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: For not stopping me I mean.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: patton help i don’t know how to selfie

Pattonhead: Kiddo, it’s late? I thought you were going to sleep now?

Anxiousanxietyart: sleep is for the weak.

Anxiousanxietyart: also, i might have promised roman a selfie…

Anxiousanxietyart: help.

Pattonhead: Why would you do that?

Anxiousanxietyart: i have a death wish

Pattonhead: KIDDO NO

Anxiousanxietyart: also because i'm weak and gay

Pattonhead: Don't talk bad about yourself!

Anxiousanxietyart: that’s not talking bad about myself…

Pattonhead: Anyways, I will help you with taking a selfie!

Anxiousanxietyart: Thanks, pat.

Pattonhead: Np! :D

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I HAVE RETURNED FROM TAKING THE SELFIE OF YOUR DREAMS AND AM READY TO RECEIVE THE SELFIE OF MINE!

Anxiousanxietyart: um. it’s hardly that.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Nonsense! I’m sure you look as fantastic as you are inside!

Anxiousanxietyart: uhh.

Anxiousanxietyart: can you go first?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Absolutely!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: [image]

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ta-da!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Feast upon my glorious visage!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...Virgil?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You there?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Wow I can’t believe my stunning good looks actually killed a man

———————

Pattonhead: Kiddo, what was that thunk?

Anxiousanxietyart: i'm gay.

Pattonhead: Hi gay, I'm Patton!

Anxiousanxietyart: can you come here?

Pattonhead: We’re in the same room, Virge.

———————

"Patton please burn my phone I can't stand to see such magnificence."

"...I'm sorry, what?"

Virgil held up his phone, blushing furiously. There was the picture that had murdered him. The brown and green eyes that had captured him. The reddish brown hair that he wanted to run his hands through. The smirk on his face that he wanted to ki...

"If you ever cared about me, you will get rid of this picture of Roman so I can stop looking at it." His face was as red as Roman’s magnificent locks.

Patton looked smug. Too smug. "Sorry, kiddo, but nope."

"Dangit!"

Virgil fell over sideways on the bed, groaning, face flushing. Patton patted his head comfortingly.

Suddenly, Virgil shot up. “OH MY GOSH I NEVER RESPONDED!”

He lunged for his phone.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: you are really wow.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: It took you 25 minutes to say that? My self esteem is pretty high already but wow, you could have warned me.

Anxiousanxietyart: no, like good wow.

Anxiousanxietyart: like stunning wow.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Thanks.

Anxiousanxietyart: i only speak the truth.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I’d hope so!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Okay, Chuck, your turn?

Anxiousanxietyart: okay um so i’m not as pretty as you or anything or at all but um here you asked for it

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Anxiousanxietyart: i know i took like half an hour to respond but honestly please don’t.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Um

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Wow

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You’re kind of really stellar, you know that?

Anxiousanxietyart: i most certainly am not!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You most certainly are! Beauty calls to beauty!

Anxiousanxietyart: wow.

———————

Roman gasped openly at the sight of such beauty, and didn't care if Logan heard him or not.

The purple and black hoodie covered part of the boy's face, but even in the dark room, Roman could still make out his utter splendor. His dark brown-black hair was dyed a brilliant purple, and it partially covered his eyes, which were a stunning indigo color. Black eyeshadow was smeared beneath them too carelessly to be truly careless. He had a small, almost shy smile on his face, and beneath the white foundation, were those...

"FRECKLES?!" He yelled in surprise and delight.

"ROMAN WHAT THE ACTUAL CROFTERS."

Oops.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: So my brother is awake now.

Anxiousanxietyart: ???

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I screamed upon seeing you and woke him up.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oops.

Anxiousanxietyart: well there goes the last of my self esteem

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: No, good scream! Very good scream!

Anxiousanxietyart: oh

Anxiousanxietyart: um

Anxiousanxietyart: okay

Anxiousanxietyart: wait what time is it for you?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Like 1 am-ish?

Anxiousanxietyart: same here, but go to hecking sleep!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Says you!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Fiiiiiiiine. But only to appease the angry monster of a brother woken from his (much-needed, if I may say so) beauty sleep.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Goodnight, Virgil. Sleep well.

Anxiousanxietyart: night, ro.

———————

Logicallylo: Why was I the only one to get any sleep last night?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh let me sleep

Logicallylo: You woke me up, I wake you up.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Why.

Logicallylo: Because I can. I believe the correct emoticon to use here would be “:)”

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You make me so proud, and yet so furious.

Logicallylo: :)

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And now, LET ME SLEEP FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

Logicallylo: Sure. If you can.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: oh good lord.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: wHY ARE YOU PRACTICING THE CELLO AT 6 AM

Logicallylo: I shall not respond, for I am too busy playing the cello.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Uuuuughhhhhhhhh you’re evil. Evil.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: oh gosh what have i done

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Logicallylo: Why are you messaging me specifically with this? I play no part in this. I was asleep.

Anxiousanxietyart: because you have more common sense than anyone else i know.

Anxiousanxietyart: also, patton is asleep, and i’d rather die than wake him up.

Logicallylo: True.

Logicallylo: You were tired, I believe, and not thinking straight. Is that correct?

Anxiousanxietyart: i never think straight, lo.

Logicallylo: True. However, I did some research, and there are 81,875 people in the U.S. with the first name Virgil.

Anxiousanxietyart: how did you—you know what? never mind.

Logicallylo: I used logic. It was quite simple, but the fact that Roman has used the same password for his phone for 10 years helps.

Anxiousanxietyart: oh my gosh.

Logicallylo: There are 6 time zones in the US, so 81,875 divided by 6 is approximately 13645.833 Virgils in this time zone, so the odds of a potential stalker finding you is very unlikely.

Logicallylo: Plus, I can vouch for Roman.

Logicallylo: [image]

Logicallylo: He’s sleeping on the couch right now. It is almost noon. He should not be sleeping. This is not promoting a healthy sleep schedule.

Anxiousanxietyart: thanks, lo.

Logicallylo: Call me Logan.

Logicallylo: And you’re welcome.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...but warn me before you send me these images? i need time to prepare before another pic of roman?

Logicallylo: You mean this guy?

Logicallylo: [image]

Logicallylo: This boy right here?

Anxiousanxietyart: stooooooppppppppp

Anxiousanxietyart: i’d take a photo of patton in retaliation, but he’s asleep in the other room and i would rather be tortured in tartarus for all eternity than betray him.

Logicallylo: I see what’s happening here, Virgil.

Anxiousanxietyart: ???

Logicallylo: You cannot hide from logic and reason.

Anxiousanxietyart: yes i can.

Anxiousanxietyart: freakin watch me.

Logicallylo: Virgil. Why.

Anxiousanxietyart: because i’m in denial and i will run from my feelings forever

Logicallylo: That is not healthy, Virgil.

Anxiousanxietyart: well well well, look who’s a hypocrite.

Logicallylo: I do not run from my feelings! I simply do not have them.

Anxiousanxietyart: mm hmm. go message patton, then.

Logicallylo: That I will.

———————

Logicallylo: Salutations.

———————

Logicallylo: ...I have realized that he is asleep.

Anxiousanxietyart: yes.

Logicallylo: You knew this.

Anxiousanxietyart: yes.

Logicallylo: You said this multiple times.

Anxiousanxietyart: yes.

Logicallylo: Virgil Lastname.

Anxiousanxietyart: brava for you on your attempt at guessing.

Logicallylo: Honestly. Why.

Anxiousanxietyart: because it’s fun.

Logicallylo: You are evil.

Anxiousanxietyart: i know :)

———————

Logicallylo posted: I will now list all the reasons why a regular sleep schedule is necessary, and what not keeping one does to your body. @anxiousanxietyart and @disneynbroadwaynprinces will listen to every single reason, as payment for their crimes.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: you called me evil.

Logicallylo replied: Reason number one: sleep helps you think. Without sleep, you cannot think straight.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: i have a few choice words to say about that reason, lo

Logicallylo replied: Hush, I am chiding you for your behavior.

———————

Pattonhead: Sorry Logan! I was asleep. How’s it goin?

Logicallylo: No need to apologize, Patton. It is going well here, how about you?

Pattonhead: I’m good! A wee bit tired, but that’s ok!

Pattonhead: Lolo look Khoshekh is on my legs aaaahhhhh???

Pattonhead: [image]

Logicallylo: I

Logicallylo: Um

Logicallylo: Who is Khoshekh, why did you take a picture of your whole body, how did you take a picture of your whole body when you’re not even holding the device?

Pattonhead: My cat! :3 Virge named him, of course!

Pattonhead: Virgil also offered to take the pic so he wouldn’t leave, haha!

Logicallylo: Ah, of course. I see.

———————

Logicallylo: Virgil, you evil, evil man.

Anxiousanxietyart: chaotic neutral baby :)

———————

Logan was in awe. The boy on the other end of the screen had light brown curly hair and glasses that made him look, somehow, even more adorable than he already was. He was blushing, and had freckles spanning across his entire face and neck. His eyes were the color of clear, clean, blue-green pool water. His grin radiated joy. Everything about him seemed alive alive alive.

Somehow, he was even more cute than the fluffy orange kitten on his lap.

Patton was absolutely stunning, and Logan could do nothing but sit there and attempt to control his heartbeat.

If he had had feelings before, this was nothing compared to now.

He was, objectively, done.

———————

Logicallylo: [image]

Logicallylo: I suppose that it is only logical that if you send me a picture of yourself, one of me is in order.

Logicallylo: And I thought Roman was the overtired one…

Pattonhead: Kcoadkdksskmasajxkff

———————

Patton stared at the picture of the most handsome man he'd ever seen (and he'd gazed upon Virgil's glory). He had black hair with fading blue tips, an angular face (were those freckles on the cheeks? Adorable!), and glasses with the same frames as Patton's own (who'da thunk?). The glasses framed beautiful navy eyes, the precise color of sapphires. He had the small smile of someone who didn’t smile quite as much has he deserved, but when it did, it counted.

Logan was beautiful.

Patton was in love.

He threw his iPad across the room.

A surprised yell came from Virgil in the other room.

Oops.

———————

Logicallylo: What happened?

Pattonhead: I’m sorry, Khoshekh got on the keyboard!

Logicallylo: Ah, I see.

Pattonhead: You look really nice!

Pattonhead: I mean good!

Pattonhead: I mean pretty!

Pattonhead: I mean—

Logicallylo: Thank you, Patton.

Pattonhead: ^-^

———————

Pattonhead: Soooooo, Virgil!

Anxiousanxietyart: yeah?

Pattonhead: So as it turns out, i miiiiiight have been flirting a liiiiittle with Lo

Pattonhead: Because I might have a teensy weensy itsy bitsy tiny little bitty crush…

Anxiousanxietyart: i heckin knew it!

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I have awaken from my beauty sleep!

Anxiousanxietyart: didn’t know you needed it.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Did you just

Anxiousanxietyart: i meant—i—oy vey

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You did! YOU DID! Oh happy day!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Great Zeus almighty, I thought this day would never come!

Anxiousanxietyart: we’ve known each other for only a few weeks, ro.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Forever.

Anxiousanxietyart: mm hmm totally.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I can taste your sarcasm, Virgil.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: But no matter!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I only have to scroll up to remind myself what you REALLY think about me.

Anxiousanxietyart: that you’re annoying?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: [image]

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: That I’m hot.

Anxiousanxietyart: was that selfie really necessary?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yes. Yes it was.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And you didn’t denyyyyyy iiiitttttt

Anxiousanxietyart: you’re not hot, roman.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: He said, like a liar.

Anxiousanxietyart: he said, like a man in denial.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: He said, like a man in a river in Egypt

Anxiousanxietyart: ??

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: De Nile

Anxiousanxietyart: oy vey why

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted:

I was too lazy to think of a title but it involves Hamilton so

Summary: It’s Vect and Xaer and Peri being the friendos they are, but they’re Hamilton buds and that makes it all better.

Word count: who knows? not I, not I

Warnings: a lot of Hamilton

A/N: Writer’s block sucks. It most verily does. That is why this exists. (In other words, I miiiiiiight have hit a wee bit of a snag with my Big Bang fic…) It is an attempt to salvage my writing skills.

Read more

Veertrash71 replied: I loooooveeeeee it! Aaaaaahhhhh it’s so fluffyyyyyy

Perisureimace replied: I’m pretty sure I’m gonna explode from all the Hamilton haha

Veerleft replied: This is canon now I decided

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Lo and I are having a mooooovie night!

Anxiousanxietyart: weren’t you up super late last night? why is he endorsing this behavior

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Because we’re watching Rogue One and he’s gay for Cassian Andor (who isn’t tbh)

Anxiousanxietyart: i… haven’t seen it…

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: G A S P ! ! ! HOW D A R E

Anxiousanxietyart: umm i just? never did? it can’t ever be as good as the original trilogy so

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Umm, it’s pretty far up there! Worth watching at the very L E A S T

Anxiousanxietyart: you’ll have to tell me about it

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You. Me. FaceTime. Now.

Anxiousanxietyart: um??? what is happening

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You are Going to Watch this Movie with me, and you Will Like It!

Anxiousanxietyart: is there a choice?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Do you have a pressing appointment?

Anxiousanxietyart: nope, free all day

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Than nope!

Anxiousanxietyart: oh my gosh roman

Anxiousanxietyart: i didn’t peg you for a diehard star wars fan?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: …how??? I’m like the biggest freaking Star Wars nerd since Logan (well, he likes Star Trek better, honestly how are we even related)

Anxiousanxietyart: i have realized my mistake

Anxiousanxietyart: (and star trek is totally better?)

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: nO NOT YOU TOO!?!?!

Anxiousanxietyart: there are a lot of reasons, which i can and would list, but i only need one:

Anxiousanxietyart: which was first to have canon gays, hmm?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Finn and Poe came before Culber and Stamets??

Anxiousanxietyart: but stormpilot isn’t canon 

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Not with that attitude it isn’t!

Anxiousanxietyart: oy vey.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Also, Baze and Chirrut are totally married wHICH REMINDS ME, ROGUE ONE. NOW.

Anxiousanxietyart: …

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: please?

Anxiousanxietyart: alright fine.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: YAY! ONWARDS, MY NOBLE KNIGHT, AND LET US B E G I N!

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Sooooooooo?

Anxiousanxietyart: so what?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Whaddya think?

Anxiousanxietyart: it was alright, i guess

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ALRIGHT YOU G U E S S?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Falsehood! You cried so hard you turned off the camera!

Anxiousanxietyart: who’s falsehooding now?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Still you! You loved it and you know it!

Anxiousanxietyart: you can prove nothing

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You may try, but you cannot deny the truth that is your tears

Anxiousanxietyart: try harder, lor san tekka

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Dangnabbit!

Anxiousanxietyart: i know my star wars lor

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Did you just

Anxiousanxietyart! patton is right over my shoulder i couldn’t just not

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: well, LOGAN is over MY shoulder, and he’s absolutely done

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Well done young Padawan

———————

Logicallylo: Why, Patton. Why would you do this.

Pattonhead: Oh hello Logan! How’s it goin’ in Logantown?

Logicallylo: Alright, I suppose. I was just consoling a sobbing Roman because of Rogue One, and now he has been sent off to bed because he was up late last night, and he has rehearsal tomorrow.

Pattonhead: Ooh, rehearsal?

Logicallylo: He is in a production of Falsettos with some friends of his (yes, he has friends).

Logicallylo: How about you?

Pattonhead: I’m not in any plays, if that’s what you’re askin’, Lo.

Logicallylo: No, I meant how was your day?

Pattonhead: Ooohhh! It was good!

Logicallylo: That is good.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: i’m a badawan, thanks very much?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yoda Chronicles, and I'm a Jedi Knight

Anxiousanxietyart: i am ready to fight

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: foR THE SITH!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ZOOM POW ZAP ELECTRICITY

Anxiousanxietyart: why haven’t more people watched that thing

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Who knows?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Honestly I was super freaking gay for Jek-14 when I was younger

Anxiousanxietyart: who wasn’t?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Truth hath most verily been spoken here

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Look look look look look

Anxiousanxietyart: it’s a lesbian from next door!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Followed by her lover who’s a lesbian from next door too!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: But seriously look here

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: [image]

Anxiousanxietyart: is that

Anxiousanxietyart: a freaking

Anxiousanxietyart: jek-14 lego set???

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: YES IT IS INDEED

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: LOOK AND WEEP

Anxiousanxietyart: oh my gosh

Anxiousanxietyart: you freaking nerd

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Nerd?! I thought I was more of a geek!

Anxiousanxietyart: okay jeremy

Anxiousanxietyart: (nerd)

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: r u d e

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Virgil

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Virgil

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: VIRGIL

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: V I R G I L

Anxiousanxietyart: three m o o n s what the heckity heck do you want?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Wings of Fire, and are you awake?

Anxiousanxietyart: no, definitely not

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh okay then

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...wait

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You little

Anxiousanxietyart: you’re welcome

Anxiousanxietyart: now why did you message me at three in the morning?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I can’t sleeeeppppppp

Anxiousanxietyart: not with that attitude you can��t

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And I have a Very Urgent Question for you

Anxiousanxietyart: shoot.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Do dryads have skin? Or is it just bark?

Anxiousanxietyart: i

Anxiousanxietyart: um

Anxiousanxietyart: what?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Because like if they have bark, how do they move? And like they’re tree ladies? So like how

Anxiousanxietyart: can you facetime me? i need to see your face while you say that.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Mm ok

———————

When Roman accepted the FaceTime request and was greeted with five solid minutes of Virgil laughing. Which was a nice greeting, yes, but a wee bit annoying, it being at him rather than with him.

“Rude,” he said when Virgil finally calmed down. This, of course, made him start laughing again.

“I’m sorry, haha!” He wiped away a tear. “It’s just—such a random—haha—question!”

“Doesn’t mean you had to FaceTime me JUST to rub it in.”

“Umm, yes I did. Obviously.”

Roman rolled his eyes. “But do dryads have bark?”

“I’m gonna say no.”

“But they’re trees, Virgil!”

“Tree people!”

“Trees! Have! Bark!”

“But they have to move???”

“Yeah, but if they have tree spirits, then can’t they have flexible bark?” Roman asked, trying to convince Virgil.

“No? That’s not how it works?”

“How would you know?!”

“Because I have basic sense?” Virgil sighed, laughing. “How did you even come up with this?”

“I was rererereading Percy Jackson, and I just thought of it,” Roman said.

Virgil shook his head, smiling. “Only you, Roman.”

Roman looked like he didn’t know whether to be pleased or offended. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That you’re unique and hilarious and creative and dramatic.”

“Heck yeah I am!” Roman flipped his hair, and Virgil covered his mouth to keep from laughing too hard. Roman finally lost all control of his traitorous gigglebox, and let out a snort that turned into a giggle that turned into a laugh that he muffled with his pillow in order to keep from waking up Logan.

Virgil stared, his cheeks growing red in the darkness.

“I gotta gay—I—um—go.”

He hung up quickly, leaving Roman to wonder what the heck had just happened.

“Wait, but do they have skin?”

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: Patton holy crap

Pattonhead: Language, kiddo. Yes?

Anxiousanxietyart: i think i have a crush on roman

Anxiousanxietyart: i have feelings for him and i don’t even know him and it’s terrifying and i don’t know what to do

Pattonhead: Aww, kiddo, come over here.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart posted: i’m sorry guys, there’s not going to be anything for a while, maybe ever. sorry im such a failure.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Virgil!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I have many ideas to tell you of!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Thou must come here so I can tell you them!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh Virgil?

Anxiousanxietyart: im sorry.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: What for?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Virgil?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You on?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Hello?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: …

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Fine, I’ll give you some space

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Virge you okay?

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Virgil stop ignoring me

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Answer me! I command you!

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Virge?

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Fine. You don’t want to talk to me, I don’t want to talk to you. I’m done.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I’m sorry Virgil I didn’t mean it just talk to meeeeee

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Is it something I did? I’m sorry for whatever it is, just tell me what to do to make it right. Please.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Virgil, I really miss you. Please come back. I’m begging you.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted: I’m sorry, all, for the lack of content. I’ve just been really sad lately. I’ll be back soon, hopefully, maybe, sometime.

———————

Logicallylo: Virgil? Are you on?

Logicallylo: Virgil, normally I would respect your privacy, but this is not a normal occurrence.

Anxiousanxietyart: what?

Logicallylo: Did something happen with Roman?

Anxiousanxietyart: ...sort of?

Anxiousanxietyart: how did you guess?

Logicallylo: It’d be impossible not to know, seeing how much he’s moping around lately. Living with him is… well, like living with him how he is usually only with more sad songs played around the house and more moping, as well as less general cheerfulness. It’s concerning.

Anxiousanxietyart: …

Anxiousanxietyart: oh crap what have i done

Logicallylo: Virgil. Breathe. In through your nose, out through your mouth.

Anxiousanxietyart: what do i do???

Logicallylo: You need to talk to him. Now. Before it’s too late.

Anxiousanxietyart: do i have to? can’t i keep repressing my feelings longer?

Logicallylo: No.

Anxiousanxietyart: fine, but you need to talk to patton then.

Logicallylo: What about?

Anxiousanxietyart: don’t play dumb.

Logicallylo: …fine. But if he doesn’t respond well, I’m blaming you.

Anxiousanxietyart: he won’t, but ditto.

Logicallylo: Very well. I will leave you to contact my brother. I wish you luck.

Anxiousanxietyart: thanks, lo. you’re a good friend.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: ro? you there?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: SWEET MOUNTAIN DEW RED YOU’RE ON!

Anxiousanxietyart: sorry for disappearing like that. i just had to think through some stuff.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Well, warn a prince next time!

Anxiousanxietyart: um, ro?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yes?

Anxiousanxietyart: i need to tell you something, and it wouldn’t really… work… over messaging. could i call you?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Of course, Virgil. Anytime.

———————

Virgil stared at the number on the screen in front of him. It seemed to dare him to do what he did best: panic enough to avoid doing this, Tell Roman to forget about it, it was nothing, go back to how it was before. Don’t risk this friendship, the possibility of the other man not being who he said he was, and just let things stay the same.

It was a tempting thought.

He looked to his left to see Patton sitting next to him, giving him a supportive thumbs-up and mouthing, ‘you can do this!’

What would he do without Patton, honestly?

He took a deep, grounding breath. I can do this. I can do this.

Virgil dialed the number, and he heard Roman pick up.

“Hello? Virgil?”

Virgil threw his phone across the room.

It hit the other wall with a thunk and hit the floor.

Problem solved.

Patton looked at him. “Uhh, kiddo, what was that?”

Virgil huddled into himself. “I can’t do this!” He hugged his knees to his chest, shaking his head.

Patton took hold of his shoulders. “Hey. Virgil. Look at me.” He did. Patton’s sea-colored eyes were wide and comforting. “I believe in you. I know Roman feels the same way. You can tell him. It’s all right. Okay?” When Virgil hesitated, the other boy continued: “You don’t have to do this today. It will be perfectly fine if you don’t. However, you will have to do it sometime. Better sooner rather than later. One step in front of the other. You have got this.”

Virgil nodded. He let go of his knees, and stood up. He crossed the room slowly, his heart in his throat. He slowly picked up the phone.

“DUDE WHAT THE CROFTERS WAS THAT?!?!?!”

...the phone had not hung up.

“Sorry Roman!” Virgil stared at Patton in panic. “I—uh—I don’t know what happened!’

“Uh huh.”

There was a silence. It was tense, awkward, expectant. Virgil knew he had to be the one to break it. He took a deep breath—

“So what was it you wanted to tell me?”

Dangnabbit!

“Uhh—I—um—” Virgil lost all control of his filter. “Ithinkimightkindareallylikeyouandthatterrifiesmeandpleasedontbemad”

There it was. His soul laid bare. Virgil had done it. Patton was grinning and giving him the thumbs up. He felt a weight lifted off his chest.

What the freaking heck had he done.

A bigger weight fell on top of him. Roman hadn’t spoken yet. He didn’t like him back. It was official. He hated him. He—

“Oh. Wow. Cool. Um. Ditto?”

What.

"What?"

Roman laughed awkwardly. "Um. Oh wow this is not how I wanted this to happen. I had a whole thing planned and it was spectacular but. The feeling is mutual. I quite like you too. Romantically."

“Wait, really?!”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.” A pause. “Well what do we do about that?”

“Um. Wanna date?”

“Cool.” There was silence. Neither of them knew what to say.

Suddenly, Virgil began laughing. He tipped over, giggling uncontrollably into the phone. He snorted and rolled around, laughing and laughing and laughing.

“Virgil? You alive?”

“I—I just can’t believe,” he began between laughs, “that I avoided you for all that time, and all I needed to do was just call you? It’s just—it’s really ironic, isn’t it?”

Roman caught on, snorting into the phone. “Yeah, it is.”

They finally stopped laughing minutes later, drifting into comfortable silence. No one said anything. They didn’t need to. Everything that had been needed to say had been said, and all the tension was gone.

“So what happens now?” Roman asked.

“I guess we just try and see how things work out,” Virgil answered.

“You really have no clue, don’t you?”

“I really don’t.”

Roman snorted. “Neither do I, so it’s fine.”

Virgil let out a soft laugh. It felt good to be talking to him, really talking, nothing left as a secret.

They really should do this more.

And that’s when Roman broke the spell.

“NOW, LOGAN JOAN BERRY, GET YOUR TUCHUS OVER HERE AND TALK TO PATTON!” He yelled, his mouth still next to the gather-sound-thing on his phone. How could Virgil tell? Because it was right in his ear.

“Um, ow?”

“Oh, sorry Virge!”

“No worries. My bleeding ear will recover. However, my traumatized eardrum will not.”

“My voice is lovely, your eardrum should be thanking me for allowing it to hear my magnificent voice!”

“If you say so.”

Roman made a wounded and offended noise on the other end of the phone. Virgil snorted.

“If you want Logan and Patton to talk to each other, can they have their own call? I don’t want them to be flirting over my phone.”

“...oh yeah, that’s a good idea.” Roman paused a moment. “Uhh, maybe hold the phone away from your ear.”

“What—”

There was a thunk and a faint yell. A different voice shouted, “WHAT THE CRAP ROMAN?!”

“TAKE YOUR PHONE AND GO FLIRT IN THE OTHER ROOM!”

“WHY DID YOU THROW MY PHONE AT ME?!”

“Whaaaaaat is happening?” Virgil was very confused. Patton, still sitting next to him, had even less idea of what was going on.

“Umm, kiddo, is everything alright?”

“Who knows?” He shrugged. Patton did not seem to calm down or seem less confused.

And that’s when his phone rang.

Virgil and Patton both stared at the phone vibrating and playing “Baby Bumblebee” on the table. It kept ringing, undisturbed by the stares. Phones don’t care about you or what you do. They just ring.

Roman cleared his throat, yanking Virgil’s attention back to him. “Virge, tell Patton to pick up his phone before Logan spontaneously combusts, taking me with him and rendering the world devoid of this magnificent face.”

Virgil repeated this sentence word for word, dumbfounded.

“I, um, okay?” Patton walked over to the phone and picked it up. “Hello? Hi, Logan. Umm, what did you want to talk to me about?”

Patton walked out of the room, still talking.

———————

“Lo? What’s going on?”

Logan cleared his throat, preparing himself. Now was the time. He’d say ‘it’s now or never’, but after The Last Jedi, he swore off the phrase forever. Besides, it was inaccurate. He could always procrastinate.

No. He would confess now.

It was time.

He opened his mouth.

“How was your day?”

Nailed it.

Patton sounded a bit confused. “Umm, it was okay. Steve Carlsberg died today. It was sad. We had a funeral for him.”

“...what?”

“Oh, one of our fish.”

“Ah.”

Silence on both ends.

Logan opened his mouth to ask about the other fish names.

“I kind of really like you!”

Wait what.

What in the holy name of the pythagorean theorem did he just do.

Patton was silent for a long, nerve-tearing-into-pieces minute. When he finally spoke, it was to say that, “I like you too, Logan! That’s why we’re friends.”

“I—no.” Logan took a deep breath. If he didn’t say it now, he never would. Also, he would have to live with this miscommunication on his conscience for all of eternity. “Romantic like. As Roman would say, ‘I’m gay for you’ like.”

“Oh! I like you romantically too.”

‘Wait what’ was what he would have thought if he had had the ability to form coherent thoughts.

“I. Um. What?”

“Yeah.” Patton sounded like he was probably blushing. No, definitely. He was definitely blushing. “You’re really nice and kind and smart and beautiful and amazing and yeah I like you romantically back!”

“I—that was. Um.” Logan, you’re speaking nonsense. Collect yourself. I swear, sometimes you’re just too gay to live. “That’s good.”

“I’d hope so.” Patton’s voice was filled with a feeling Logan couldn’t place, but it was good. Definitely good.

“So,” he said, “what will happen now?”

“I don’t know!” Patton giggled. “I’m honestly just happy to be here, talking to you.”

“You are simply too sweet.”

Patton made a slightly flustered noise.

Logan cleared his throat. “Shall we just continue how we’ve been continuing and just see what happens?”

“Whatever we do I know will be just fine.” Patton spoke with an air of wiseness that said he knew what he was talking about. He was more people-smart than Logan, and that was one of the many reasons they complimented each other.

“Why is that, Pat?” Logan asked.

“Because dogs exist, and nothing bad can happen in a world with dogs,” he said very seriously.

Logan snorted. While that may have not been strictly logical, Patton was correct. They would be just fine.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted: Guess who’s not a single bean anymooooreeee??? This guy!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: oh my gosh

Veertrash71 replied: wait WHAT

Pattonhead replied: I was confused for a sec there, kiddo, but then I remembered.

Veertrash71 replied: UM

Logicallylo replied: Congratulations. You have found someone to deal with your nonsense. Lucky for all of us.

Veertrash71 replied: Is no one else going to freak out??

Perisureimace replied: Oh congrats!

Veertrash71 replied: WHY IS NO ONE ELSE CONFUSED THAT PRINCEY WAS EVER SINGLE?!

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: hi

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Greetings and salutations!

Anxiousanxietyart: um

Anxiousanxietyart: is there, like, protocol for talking now that

Anxiousanxietyart: um

Anxiousanxietyart: you know

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Your guess is as good as mine.

Anxiousanxietyart: oh okay

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: So

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Uhh

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Any pets?

Anxiousanxietyart: ...what?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I had to think of SOME conversation topic.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Your answer?

Anxiousanxietyart: a cat and fifty billion fish.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: What are their names?

Anxiousanxietyart: the cat is khoshekh, the fish are all named after wtnv characters but i can never remember who’s alive anymore. i think janice ate carlos last week, but i’m not sure.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: How dare you Janice?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Do you perchance happen to have any pictures? If a pic of you came into the mix, I wouldn’t complain, just sayin’

Anxiousanxietyart: oh my gosh ro

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Love you too <3

Anxiousanxietyart: ajckskskkckdkfes

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Did I break you?

Anxiousanxietyart: ...maybe

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Honey

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Sweetie

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Apple of my eye

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: My one and only

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Knight in dark and angsty armor

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Anxiousanxietyart: take my pet photos and freaking leave

Anxiousanxietyart: babe

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Amckskjdhdjsjsjakkadf

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh my gosh is that you with your cat???

Anxiousanxietyart: yes

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: No mere mortal eyes should gaze upon such cuteness!

Anxiousanxietyart: good thing you’re not a mere mortal

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Aww!

Anxiousanxietyart: your ego alone is godly enough for ten zeuses

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...I retract all my praise.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: [image]

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Alexander Hamsterton and I go on all sorts of adventures.

Anxiousanxietyart: ajdkdkskfjkssa

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Fair play is turnabout, Virge >:)

Anxiousanxietyart: why would you do this terrible thing

Anxiousanxietyart: my mind is dead now

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I tease because I love <3

Anxiousanxietyart: i

Anxiousanxietyart: uhh

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh gosh I didn’t mean like that it’s too soon aah ignore me oy vey

Anxiousanxietyart: um okay

Anxiousanxietyart: so

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Hey so I’m wondering

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Why do you always text with no caps???

Anxiousanxietyart: it's for the a e s t h e t i c

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh my gods you utter and complete e m o

Anxiousanxietyart: thank you for the compliment

Anxiousanxietyart: much appreciated

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: It… I… I give up.

Anxiousanxietyart: :)

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh you NERD

Anxiousanxietyart: said the theatre geek to the emo.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...what is that supposed to mean??

Anxiousanxietyart: no hecking clue.

———————

Logicallylo: Greetings and salutations, Patton.

Pattonhead: Oh hello! How are you?

Logicallylo: I am doing well. And you?

Pattonhead: Same here! A wee bit tired, but good all the same!

Logicallylo: I feel an urgent desire to sleep as well.

Pattonhead: Well, that’s one way to put it!

Pattonhead: HELP

Logicallylo: What’s going on?

Pattonhead: [image]

Pattonhead: SPIDER!!!!!!

Logicallylo: It appears to be a Pholcus phalangioides, or daddy long legs. It has venom, but is so small that it cannot bite or transfer venom. It is harmless.

Pattonhead: STILL! SPIDER!

Logicallylo: Do you have arachnophobia?

Pattonhead: No, but I’m terribly afraid of spiders!

Logicallylo: That’s what I said. Arachnophobia.

Pattonhead: WHERE IS VIRGIL I NEED VIRGIL TO TAKE IT OUTSIDE

Logicallylo: I have no idea of Virgil’s whereabouts.

Logicallylo: Perhaps you can message him?

Pattonhead: I’D SAY OOH THAT’S A GOOD IDEA IF I WEREN'T TERRIFIED

———————

Pattonhead: SPIDER!

Anxiousanxietyart: i’ll be there asap

———————

Pattonhead: Virgil has taken the spider outside! It cannot return any more.

Logicallylo: That is good. I am glad that it is gone.

Pattonhead: Just had a scare there!

Logicallylo: Is your emotional state better now?

Pattonhead: Much, thanks, Lo.

Logicallylo: No problem. Would you like me to call you now?

Pattonhead: Ooh yes please!

———————

Patton was now sitting on top of his bed, idly petting Khoshekh and staring at his phone intensely. Maybe if he stared hard enough, Logan would call sooner!

As if on cue, the phone started ringing. Patton picked it up without even looking at the screen.

“Hiya Lo!” He chirped, bouncing up and down.

“Salutations and further greetings,” replied the voice of Logan. Patton’s heart melted upon hearing him. “Is Virgil in the room?”

“Nope, just me! He’s trying to make brownies in the kitchen, apparently ‘to sacrifice to the great and almighty deity of removing all feelings’, so the normal reason, pretty much!”

“Ah. Usual Virgil?”

“There’s nothing usual about Virgil.” Patton’s tone was very serious. He loved his kiddo a lot. He was a small angsty baby koala kangaroo child who needed love.

“I am aware of this.” Despite the words, which would have sounded annoyed, Logan’s tone was fond, and Patton could picture him smiling as he said so.

“You may want to hold the phone away from your ear,” Logan said.

“Why is that?”

“ROMAN, WHERE IS ALEXANDER HAMSTERTON?” Logan’s voice was muffled, but he was obviously yelling.

A quiet reply that might have been “I was playing with him”, but sounded like “I mass gaying with him” was shouted from somewhere else. Patton was slightly confused about what was going on.

“Uhh, Logan? What’s happening?”

“Roman’s hamster wasn’t in his cage, but he’s back now,” explained Logan reassuringly.

“Oh okay! Thank goodness he’s back!”

And that’s when Virgil spoke.

“PATTON SPIDER, THE BROWNIES ARE BURNING AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO HELP ME!”

“Spider?”

Patton shuddered, whispering. “It’s ironic because I have a very large fear of spiders.”

Logan laughed over the phone, and Patton’s heart did some cartwheels. “Ironic indeed.”

They shared a blissful few seconds of silence, nothing to say.

“I should probably go,” said Logan. “You may want to assist Virgil with the brownies.”

“But I don’t wanna hang up! I wanna talk with you!” Patton protested.

“We can talk later, if you wish.”

“Ooh yay okay!” Patton bounced up and down. “Bye, Logan!”

“Goodbye, Patton.”

Logan hung up, and Patton ran to save some brownies from certain doom, still thinking of Logan.

———————

Logicallylo posted a photo: My boyfriend @pattonhead sent me these brownies today. They taste absolutely delicious! Love you Pat.

Pattonhead replied: Aww, so glad you like them honeybee! <3

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: THIS is a Marvelous Cookie! (or brownie, whatever)

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: SWEET! With an excellent CRUNCH!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: perfect to follow a dinner

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Or just after breakfast

Anxiousanxietyart replied: and prior to lunch! (really though pat, they're probably really good)

Pattonhead replied: Aww thanks kiddo! <3

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You know all my obscure references! A man after my own heart <3

Anxiousanxietyart: you cannot hide from my musical knowledge with frog and toad.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Shall we make a competition out of it?

Anxiousanxietyart: i'm listening.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: We each shall make as many references as possible without telling the other.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: If the other doesn't catch it, the referencer gets a point. If the other does get it, they get a point.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: The one with the most by the time our Big Bang project is posted wins!

Anxiousanxietyart: ro, you got yourself a challenge. let's do this thing.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Can I FaceTime you so we can shake on it?

Anxiousanxietyart: yes

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: can i call you?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Of course, Virgil! Might I ask why?

Anxiousanxietyart: i just need to talk to you rn.

———————

Roman picked up immediately. “Virgil? You okay?”

“No.” Virgil sounded out of breath and terrified to his own ears. “Patton isn’t home and he left his phone and I’m alone and there’s noises and I’m fREAKING OUT and—”

“Hey. Virge. Breathe.” Roman’s voice was calming, cool, soothing. “In. Out. In. Out. Breathe with me, okay?”

Virgil took a deep, shuddering breath. He heard Roman do the same, in sync with him. In. Out. In. Out. They continued, for how long was unknown.

After several minutes of silence, accompanied by the noise of their breathing, Roman spoke. “You feeling better?”

The hesitation of a few moments that seemed to take an eternity followed his words before Virgil replied.

“I—yeah. I’m better now, I mean.” And he was. Who knew that for once the most-recommended, least-remembered tip would actually work?

“Why were you panicking, if I may ask?”

“I kept hearing noises? Not sure how exactly.” A pause. “Thanks, Roman.”

“Anytime.” And he meant it. He would do anything to help Virgil.

He didn’t exactly know what to say after all that. “Do you want me to leave?”

“NO!” Virgil blurted out before realizing what he just said. “I mean, umm, if it’s okay, could you please stay? I don’t really want to be alone right now.”

“Of course,” Roman said softly. “Anything.”

“Is exactly what Han Solo said before getting stabbed by his son.”

“Why are you like this?”

Virgil snorted, and Roman felt a sudden urge to hug him.

“I kinda really love you, you know that?” Roman blurted out. He then slapped his hand in front of his mouth.

Virgil was silent. Utterly, completely silent.

You utter and complete dunce! You’ve driven him away!

“I—ditto.” Virgil let out a small, slightly awkward laugh. “This is not what I expected this day to be like.”

“What did you expect?”

“You can’t see because this is a call but I’m shrugging.”

Roman laughed. “That sounds about right.”

Virgil cleared his throat. “Patton just sent me a text, you don’t have to stay. He’s coming back in a few.”

“I can stay if you like,” Roman said. “I won’t leave you if you don’t want me to.”

“No, it’s fine. You can go.”

Roman shrugged. “If you’re sure. Love you.”

“Love you too. Bye, Ro.” Virgil hung up, and Roman sat there, shocked and blushing.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You feeling better?

Anxiousanxietyart: yes. patton’s home now, we’re watching the princess bride.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Glad you’re ok.

Anxiousanxietyart: thanks again, ro.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: All you need to do is ask. I’m here for you, love.

Anxiousanxietyart: anfkdmfjsjfk

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Did I mess up? Oh gosh I’m sorry

Anxiousanxietyart: no

Anxiousanxietyart: i

Anxiousanxietyart: kind of like it???

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Okay love

Anxiousanxietyart: gonna pay attention now, gnight, love

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ajkfmsjdhjfjd

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: sleep well, mi amor

Anxiousanxietyart: how the heckety heck do you know spanish

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ;)

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: HAVE I GOT THE STORY FOR YOU!

Anxiousanxietyart: good morning to you too.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: It’s 1 in the afternoon.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...

Anxiousanxietyart:

g o o d m o r n i n g

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ANYWAYS

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: SO

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I just saw a woman.

Anxiousanxietyart: whoa. never knew women existed.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Hush, I may be gay, but I know women exist and are amazing

Anxiousanxietyart: never knew that you were gay???

Anxiousanxietyart: truly shocked

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ANYWAYS, BACK TO MY STORY!

Anxiousanxietyart: oy vey.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: At the salad restaurant.

Anxiousanxietyart: …salad… restaurant?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yes it exists

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ordering a salad.

Anxiousanxietyart: wow. never would have guessed.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...wHILE EATING A FREAKING DONUT.

Anxiousanxietyart: i… what?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You heard me!

Anxiousanxietyart: no, i didn’t. we’re texting.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You know what I mean!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: A chocolate covered donut. In line. Ordering a salad. To-go.

Anxiousanxietyart: why were you at a salad place?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Because they have the best gosh dang Mac n Cheese in the galaxy and I was in Urgent Need for it

Anxiousanxietyart: huh

Anxiousanxietyart: so, not because you suddenly decided to take care of yourself?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Despite Logan and Patton’s best efforts, no. Never.

Anxiousanxietyart: good, i was starting to worry you weren’t you.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Fear not, I am still my magnificently fantastic self!

Anxiousanxietyart: and that’s a reason not to worry? counterproductive.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: RUDE.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Someday, I will take you to Crunchy & Emerald, and you will see just how fantastic their Mac n Cheese is.

Anxiousanxietyart: really?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Couldn’t stop me if you tried. And don’t try.

Anxiousanxietyart: i guess it’s a date, then.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ahfkdmfjdkf

Anxiousanxietyart: :)

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Evil. Truly evil.

Anxiousanxietyart: said it before, i’ll say it again:

Anxiousanxietyart: chaotic

Anxiousanxietyart: neutral

Anxiousanxietyart: :)

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Chaotic good, myself

Anxiousanxietyart: i can see that. class?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Paladin, Fighter, sometimes Bard

Anxiousanxietyart: huh

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You?

Anxiousanxietyart: rogue

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You dark, angsty soul.

Anxiousanxietyart: got that right.

Anxiousanxietyart: you ever actually played d&d?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Aye, verily! Logan and I once arranged a campaign with friends (he was a sorcerer). It was quite fun!

Anxiousanxietyart: sounds like it.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yep! What about you? Have you ever embarked on the nerd adventure of a lifetime that you can take more than once?

Anxiousanxietyart: i have one (1) friend who’d consider it, and he’s clueless about these things (patton)

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Well, now you have 3! We shall organize a campaign at once!

Anxiousanxietyart: three?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Me, Patton, and Logan!

Anxiousanxietyart: he’d like that?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Are you kidding? He LOVES nerd stuff like that!

Anxiousanxietyart: ...somehow, i am not surprised.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: wait.

Anxiousanxietyart: aren’t you lactose intolerant?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: :)

Anxiousanxietyart: i forbid you from eating that mac n cheese ever again

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Try and make me. I dare you. You will never separate me from my one true love! NEVER!

Anxiousanxietyart: what about me?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Babe.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I love you.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: But if you try and keep me away from Crunchy & Emerald’s sweet sweet cheesy macaroni, you will be unboyfriended.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces:

:)

Anxiousanxietyart: oh my dog.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You have a cat.

Anxiousanxietyart: umm, my point still stands

———————

Pattonhead: Lololololololololo!!!!

Logicallylo: I am here, Patton. What’s the matter?

Pattonhead: I’m at Target with Virge, and on the way we had the most magical encounter!!

Logicallylo: Would you like to tell me about it?

Pattonhead: That’s why I’m here! :3

Logicallylo: I am listening.

Logicallylo:

Or rather, watching. This isn’t a call.

Pattonhead: SO me and Virge were walkin’ to Target, and I heard? this? “meow meow” noise?

Pattonhead: I looked back aND THIS ADORABLE GRAY CAT WAS RUNNING ON ALL FOUR TINY LEGS TO MEET US, MEOWING???

Logicallylo: That does indeed sound adorable.

Pattonhead: The kitty ran up to us and went between Virgil’s legs and around my legs and I petted him and then he walked away it was amazing and pure and magical and I feel blessed

Logicallylo: Wow.

Logicallylo: That seems like a pleasant experience.

Pattonhead: It was the BEST DAY of my LIFE!

Logicallylo: I can believe that.

Pattonhead: Aaa gotta go, the friend is on the Virge of leaving me behind to shop alone :)

Logicallylo: I shall see you later, Pat.

Pattonhead: Byeeeee Lo!

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: pat and i went out shopping today for some sweet sweet starbound preparation materials, and look what i got

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Is that

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: A freaking

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: XAER PIN?!

Anxiousanxietyart: :)

Anxiousanxietyart: they had them at the store, and even though they were out of vect pins, pat got a peri one and i got this

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: That

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Is

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: So

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: COOL?!?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I am so jealous you have no idea

Anxiousanxietyart: i know

Anxiousanxietyart: whiiiich is why i lied

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ???

Anxiousanxietyart: they did have vect pins

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Anxiousanxietyart: and it’s for you

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ?!?!?!?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: OH MY GOSH YOURET HE BEST BOYFRIEND EVERTFHRUSNJSJZSNAKSJSDKSKHDF

Anxiousanxietyart: i wonder if he’s excited at all

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: THE M O S T!!!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: THANK YOU SO MUCH VIRGE <3

Anxiousanxietyart: you’re welcome :)

———————

Pattonhead: Lololololololo!!! :D

Logicallylo: Yes?

Pattonhead: Look look look look look I got a new beanie!!

Pattonhead: [image]

Pattonhead: I’m a cat!!!! :3

Logicallylo: I

Logicallylo: I need a moment.

Pattonhead: You like it?

Logicallylo: Patton, you are adorable. You know that?

Pattonhead: Aww, that’s so sweet! ^u^

Logicallylo: You are so cute that I fell on the floor.

Logicallylo: [image]

Logicallylo: You have slain me.

Pattonhead: Aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww! Nooooooooo don’t dieeeeeeee!

Logicallylo: Roman has taken this opportunity to “conquer the foul beast of Calculatortown”.

Logicallylo: [image]

Logicallylo: Why will he not stop stepping on me.

Pattonhead: Whyyyyyyyy Roooomannn?!

Pattonhead: Step off of my boyfriend!

Logicallylo: He is gone now.

Logicallylo: [image]

Logicallylo: With your encouragement, I have slayed the brother.

Logicallylo: Or rather, made him leave my room.

Pattonhead: YAAAAYYYYYYYYY! :DDD

Logicallylo: And now, I can get back to my book.

Pattonhead: Nooooooo keep talking to meeee!

Logicallylo: As you wish.

Pattonhead: YAYY! :D

Pattonhead: What’re you reading?

Logicallylo: Rebel Rising, by Beth Revis. I had a desire to learn more about Jyn Erso, and this is about her backstory.

Pattonhead: Ooh, sounds fun!

Logicallylo: It is, although I find it interesting how Jyn had a boyfriend before Rogue One, and the reason why she is captured by the Empire is somewhat unexpected.

Pattonhead: Huh!

Logicallylo: But enough about me, or about Jyn. What about you? How is Khoshekh?

Pattonhead: Adorable as ever!

Pattonhead: [image]

Logicallylo: You speak no falsehoods about that. Khoshekh is, indeed, adorable.

Logicallylo: However, you are even more so.

Pattonhead: Awwwwww, Lo, you’re makin’ me blush!

Pattonhead: [image]

Logicallylo: The evidence you have just sent has only strengthened my case. You are incredible, Patton. You make people feel, despite their original hesitance. You love so much, and are so many wonderful things.

Logicallylo: I haven’t the words to describe how I’m feeling. Emotions were never my forte.

Logicallylo: However, you… you are incredibly good at forcing me to feel things, and at making me like it.

Pattonhead: I

Pattonhead: I just don’t know what to say?

Pattonhead: I love you too, Logan. Always.

Logicallylo: I

Logicallylo: That

Logicallylo: You said you didn’t know what to say. But that was perfect. It was absolutely, positively perfect.

Logicallylo: I have no words.

Pattonhead: I can give you some of mine?

Logicallylo: I’m not entirely sure that’s how it works.

Pattonhead: I’m not entirely sure that I care.

Logicallylo: I feel as though you should probably care about that.

Pattonhead: I do, I just care about you more <3

Logicallylo: ajdkskndjdjs

Pattonhead: Did you just

Pattonhead: Did you just keysmash???

Logicallylo: Umm.

Logicallylo: If I said no would you believe me?

Pattonhead: YOU DID!

Logicallylo: Oy vey.

Pattonhead: Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me <3

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: help me roman i’ve been laughing at this for like 5 hours

Anxiousanxietyart: https://youtu.be/JMV3lRrduf0

Anxiousanxietyart: i’m just watching it on repeat and dying

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: AND THAT WAS THE FRIEND

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: NOW TELL ME

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: E N D

Anxiousanxietyart: this is true art right here

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yes indeed.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart posted 6 photos:

i’ve been attempting some photography, and here’s some of my and pat’s favorites. he’s the one who talked me into posting these. if you hate them, blame him.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: HATE them? H A T E them? H A T E T H E M ? !

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: I L O V E T H E M ! ! !

Anxiousanxietyart replied: oh.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: thank… you?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: I do not say these things lightly, Virgil. You have real talent, my love!

Pattonhead replied: I told you, kiddo! Your photos are amazing!

Logicallylo replied: They are indeed absolutely fantastic, Virgil. Well done. You have a true eye for photography.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: i

Anxiousanxietyart replied: i don’t know what to say?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: No words needed.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Only more pictures, if you please! I haven’t seen true beauty since I saw your selfie (or maybe my mirror image), and your photography is truly stunning! Almost as stunning as you!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: ajkfmfjfhgnzkdjfm

Anxiousanxietyart replied:

Anxiousanxietyart replied: take my photos and g o

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Amazing!

Pattonhead replied: What’d I tell you, kiddo? You’re great at this!

Logicallylo replied: Spectacular. Simply spectacular.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: here’s some more, i guess

Anxiousanxietyart replied:

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: I haven’t the words to describe just how talented you are, love.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: wow. i never would have thought anyone would like these? thanks, guys

Pattonhead replied: No need to thank us! You’re the one who took the photos, Virge.

Veertrash71 replied: wHOA ANX HAS TALENT???

———————

Pattonhead: Hey kiddo!

Pattonhead: I’m proud of you.

Anxiousanxietyart: why?

Pattonhead: For opening up, and showing your pictures even though you didn’t know how they would be received. I knew you were nervous, but you handled it like a champ.

Anxiousanxietyart: i

Anxiousanxietyart: thanks, pat. love you.

Pattonhead: Love you too, kiddo. Wanna draw and listen to music?

Anxiousanxietyart: gosh yes.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart posted a photo: a bunch of sketches and an actual decent fanart i made. i just really wanted to draw xaer more. zey are really fun to draw.

Pattonhead replied: Nice job!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: You have quite a lot of talent!

Logicallylo replied: Well done, Virgil.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Loooogannnnn helpppp

Logicallylo: What is it?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: It’s just

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Virgil’s so good at so many things

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And he’s really nice and sweet and amazing

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And I love him so much

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: But he doesn’t realize how talented he is?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And I wanna tell him and help him but I don’t know hoooowwww

Logicallylo: Roman.

Logicallylo: You are helping him already. By being there and letting him know you’re there for him, you have already done more than you know.

Logicallylo: As for letting him realize his worth, just keep doing what you’re already doing. The two of you have a great support system, and you both know how good at so many things the other is.

Logicallylo: But both of you are oblivious to how amazing both of you are, and neither of you see how the other isn’t superior to you. You both are equally talented in different areas.

Logicallylo: That is how the world works, Roman. You need to let him realize how talented he is on his own, but help him in any way you can. Don’t rush it. One thing at a time.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...wow. Thanks, Lo.

Logicallylo: You’re welcome, Ro. Now go get that boy. Again.

———————

Logicallylo:

I should get paid for my matchmaking skills.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Hey Virge?

Anxiousanxietyart: what is it ro?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I just

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You’re really amazing, you know that?

Anxiousanxietyart: no, i’m really not, but thanks.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: No, seriously. You’re super talented and great at so many things and I feel like you don’t know that enough.

Anxiousanxietyart: i

Anxiousanxietyart: i don’t know what to say. thanks, roman.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You’re welcome.

Anxiousanxietyart: why are you saying these things, if i may ask?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I just

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Just felt like you needed to know this.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Love you, Virgil.

Anxiousanxietyart: love you too.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted: @logicallylo and I will not be here for about a week? There’s a family gathering for a cousin’s bat mitzvah in another state, and we won’t be able to be on for a while. There shall be a surprise when I return, however! ;) See you soon!

Pattonhead replied: Awwww, we’ll miss you!!!!!!! Have fun!!!!!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: goodbye, ro. stay safe, and tell me when you get back.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: I shall miss you very much, my love.

Pattonhead replied: You can’t really see him because we’re texting, but Virge is blushing like a tomato and I felt it important that you know :)

Pattonhead replied: [image]

Pattonhead replied: See?

Logicallylo replied: Oh my gosh I love you.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: this is complete and utter betrayal?!?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: aaaAAAAWWWWW! Baabeeeeee, you have a crush on me?!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: we’re dating, andy

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: that was an easy one, it doesn’t count!

Pattonhead replied: Oh my gosh you totally have a crush on him!!!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: if i’m being made fun of, it totally counts.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: We’re not making fun of you! It’s just adorable, that’s all!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: [image]

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: This face can make many a man swoon ;)

Logicallylo replied: If it helps, his cheeks are a bit flushed as well. You can see in the image.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Wow thanks Lo?? Honestly why would you point that out???

Anxiousanxietyart replied: that doesn’t help??????? it’s only worse now?????? you are e v i l

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Chaotic good, love. We’ve discussed this?

Logicallylo replied: Lawful neutral myself.

Pattonhead replied: Neutral good! :D

Anxiousanxietyart replied: chaotic neutral.

Logicallylo replied: Somehow, the fact that I am the only lawful one makes sense…

———————

Pattonhead: Viiiiiiiiirgiiilllllll

Anxiousanxietyart: yes?

Pattonhead: I miss Logannnnn

Anxiousanxietyart: i know. i miss roman too.

Pattonhead: I just wish they were here, y’kno?

Anxiousanxietyart: yeah. i know.

Anxiousanxietyart: wanna have a game night?

Pattonhead: Anytime, kiddo :)

———————

Pattonhead: I’m going to the store, want anything?

Anxiousanxietyart: a soul

Pattonhead: ...kiddo, I have 5 dollars

Anxiousanxietyart: what were you gonna buy with 5 dollars?

Pattonhead: Chips.

Anxiousanxietyart: chips… don’t cost 5 dollars…

Pattonhead: ...chips.

Anxiousanxietyart: i’ll be there in a sec

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted: I AM HERE, I AM QUEER, AND I HAVE RETURNED FROM MY QUEST! Did you miss me? (oh, and @logicallylo ‘s here too)

Pattonhead replied: LOGAN!!!!!!!!!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUUUCHHHHHH

Logicallylo replied: I missed you too, Patton. A lot.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: hey, ro.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: VIIIIIIIRGILLLLLL!!! Did you miss me?

Anxiousanxietyart replied: no.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: ?!?!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: i’m kidding! yeah, missed you.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Missed you too, my cruel and heartless love.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: i’m not cruel and heartless.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: I know that you are anything but.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: facetime me?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Of course, my dear Virgil.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted a video: In celebration of returning from a week-long hiatus, here’s a video of me singing! I chose A Whole New World because it’s Disney and it won the wheel spin of fun songs to sing haha! Enjoy!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: i

Anxiousanxietyart replied: i’m dead. you’ve killed me.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Haha thanks babe

Anxiousanxietyart replied: you? just? keep murdering me? in cold blood? honestly

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: It’s what I do best ;)

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ughhhhhhhh help meeeeeee

Anxiousanxietyart: what’s happening? You ok?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Just having a bad day…

Anxiousanxietyart: wanna talk about it?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Just have writers block and no play rehearsal because I got the most HORRENDOUS cold and Logan is out doing things and I’m alone and in pain and bored and these few days before the new Starbound are always the most terrible and I’m just uuuughhhhhh

Anxiousanxietyart: i’m sorry, ro. anything i can do to help?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Just being here is amazing, thanks <3

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Also wanna have a Harry Potter marathon with me?

Anxiousanxietyart: how could i refuse?

Anxiousanxietyart: facetime?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I don’t really feel like my normal magnificent Princey self…

Anxiousanxietyart: i’m pretty sure that you could never be anything near less than godly in looks.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: aww, thanks

Anxiousanxietyart: besides, i see worse every time i look in a mirror.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: nO BABE

Anxiousanxietyart: kidding, i had to say that, i’ll call you

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Thanks for binge watching Harry Potter with me, Virge. I owe you one.

Anxiousanxietyart: no problem, love.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh my gooooshhhhh

Anxiousanxietyart: did i do something wrong?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: NO

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: HEAVENS NO

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I’m just

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: you killed me

Anxiousanxietyart: oh my gosh

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I’m deaded

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Slain

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: By my own boyfriend

Anxiousanxietyart: you’re so lucky i love you

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Aodkdjdakkdkslskdjdk

Anxiousanxietyart: :)

———————

Pattonhead posted: TODAYTODAYTODAAAYYYY!!! :D

Anxiousanxietyart replied: wow, I wonder if he’s excited

Logicallylo replied: Of course he is, Virgil. It is rather obvious. I’d have thought you’d have noticed. No need to wonder.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: sarcastic.

Logicallylo replied: Ah. Very well.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Thou art a bunch of liars! All of you are most excited as well, I know this with absolute certanity!

Logicallylo replied: Certainty, and falsehood. I am not excited. I have no emotions.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: I saw you dance in your room earlier. Don’t lie.

Logicallylo replied: Falsehood. That was you. I saw you.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: i never said i wasn’t excited. only a fool wouldn’t be.

Logicallylo replied: ...I suppose I shall concede a point to you. I do feel an adequate amount of excitement to read the newest book of Starbound.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: yeeEEEESSSSSS!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: woo.

Logicallylo replied: Are you satisfied?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: I WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED

Anxiousanxietyart replied: god i hope you’re satisfieeeddd

Pattonhead replied: AAAAAAAAAA VIRGE TIME TO GO GET IT NOW!!!!!!!!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: coming.

———————

Logan walked into the crowded bookstore with low expectations, if any.

Roman had, of course, come down with a cold, but nothing was going to stop him from running down to the bookstore himself if Logan didn't go and get them both copies of Starbound: Awaken, so here he was. Alone. In a social setting.

Why was he here again?

Ugh, there was a line. He walked over to stand in it. While waiting, he pulled out his phone to check Tumblr. Roman was complaining on the dash about being sick, Virgil was retaliating with sass, and Patton was being cute with puppy and kitten photos and energy in the corner. Logan held back a laugh. He really loved his friends.

He turned off his phone and surveyed the people around him. There were kids with parents dressed up as Peri and Xaer and Vect and all the other characters, making Logan smile a little. One confused adult was dressed as Luke Skywalker, which made him sigh a little. Honestly.

He made his way to the front of the line, purchased two copies of the book, and began making his way towards the exit. The smell of new books was particularly strong in this bookstore, and Logan stopped to stand and enjoy it a while. He was about to continue walking when he could have sworn he heard the most familiar voice.

"C'mon, kiddo! Let’s get in line! Aaaa I'm so excited!"

"I can't tell at all..."

Logan's head swiveled around 180 degrees like R2-D2's. Standing there was a pair that looked too good to be true. There was no way Patton and Virgil could possibly be here. It just wasn't logical. And yet, a purple-hoodie-clad back and another with a blue shirt and gray cat hoodie tied around his shoulders were standing there, chatting animatedly.

"No way in Crofters," he muttered to himself, staring at the two. And yet, there must have been a way in Crofters, as they were there, weren't they?

He was debating the pros and cons of approaching them (Venn diagram and all) when Roman called. He took that as a sign to leave, but made a mental note of this day.

Logan had a lot to think about.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: How about them Starbound?

Anxiousanxietyart: it was very good.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: GOOD?! It was INFURIATINGLY AMAZING! SPECTACULAR!

Anxiousanxietyart: good.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oy vey. You’re lucky I love you.

Anxiousanxietyart: ahsidjsndhshhsidiska

Anxiousanxietyart: why.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You know you love iiiittttt :)

Anxiousanxietyart: i know nothing except hatred.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: As Logan would say,

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: FALSEHOOD!

Anxiousanxietyart: how often does he say that?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: More than you could possibly know.

———————

Starbound-Big-Bang posted: Friendly reminder that you have one more week before posting time! Authors: You must have your fanfics done and above the word limit. Artists: You must have your drawings/projects done and ready for posting.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: gUESS WHO TOTALLY FINISHED HIS FINAL DRAFT?!

Anxiousanxietyart: oh congrats! i’ll read it in a sec

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: AAAAAAAAAAA!!!

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: it’s very good, congrats

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Aww thanks! Call me?

Anxiousanxietyart: of course

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted: Only 3 days ‘til Showtime!

Pattonhead replied: Break a leg, kiddo! :D

Anxiousanxietyart replied: what pat said. you got this, ro.

Logicallylo replied: Fracture a femur.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: ????

Logicallylo replied: It WAS break a leg, but I improved it.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: ...never say that again.

———————

Logicallylo: Virgil, may I have a word?

Anxiousanxietyart: what is it?

Logicallylo: You are aware that Roman is to do the thing where he makes a fool of himself in front of others while pretending to not be himself?

Anxiousanxietyart: ...you mean acting?

Logicallylo: Yes, that is what I said.

Anxiousanxietyart: how could I not know?

Logicallylo: And are you aware that I believe that we do not live too far away from each other?

Anxiousanxietyart: ...how would you know that?

Logicallylo: I… may have seen you and Patton at the bookstore…

Anxiousanxietyart: WHAT

Logicallylo: On the day Starbound: Awaken released.

Anxiousanxietyart: which bookstore?!

Logicallylo: Formerly a Bruegger's Bagels

Anxiousanxietyart: and you were going to tell me WHEN?!

Logicallylo: It slipped my mind.

Anxiousanxietyart: it. slipped. your. mind.

Logicallylo: I wasn’t positive it was you.

Anxiousanxietyart: why didn’t you SAY anything?!

Logicallylo: You left before I could approach you.

Anxiousanxietyart: and how did you conclude that we don’t live too far away from each other?

Logicallylo: Roman and I live only a block away from the bookstore, and you and Patton appear to have walked. You are too lazy to have walked more than a mile, even with Patton’s puppy eyes as a factor, as well as the fact that it’s the newest Starbound. Hence, not too far.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...i could have been visiting from australia. i could have wanted some exercise for once. heck, i could be a serial killer. i know where you live now!

Logicallylo: You didn’t have an Australian accent, we are in the same time zone anyway, I don’t think that’s likely, and I highly doubt you’re a serial killer, as we’ve known each other for too long and too well. Also, you don’t know exactly where I live, as I didn’t give you the address.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...logical, as always.

Logicallylo: Of course. Necktie.

Anxiousanxietyart: what were you going to ask me?

Logicallylo: Virgil, Roman has his play in a week. It is at the school auditorium.

Anxiousanxietyart: …no.

Logicallylo: Whyever not?

Anxiousanxietyart: …

Anxiousanxietyart: i’m just anxious

Logicallylo: This is not news to me. You are always anxious.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...yes, but

Logicallylo: Your name is AnxiousAnxiety.

Logicallylo: There is an “art” in there as well, but it is not beneficial or necessary to the point I am attempting to make.

Anxiousanxietyart: yes, but

Logicallylo: So why won’t you come to see Roman preform?

Anxiousanxietyart: it’s just…

Logicallylo: You can tell me.

Anxiousanxietyart: i’ve known him for 5 months, and we’ve only ever talked here or on the phone. the thought of meeting him in person, it just…

Logicallylo: It seems daunting. Final. Real. I know.

Anxiousanxietyart: yeah, exactly.

Logicallylo: You don’t have to come. It would be fine if you didn’t. However, for Roman’s sake and yours, please consider it.

Anxiousanxietyart: …

Logicallylo: Just consider. That’s all I ask.

Anxiousanxietyart: alright. but if i die, i’m blaming you.

Logicallylo: I wouldn’t expect you not to.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: Hey, ro.

Anxiousanxietyart: so, today's the day. showtime.

Anxiousanxietyart: i know you won't be able to read this until later, because you're backstage preparing and all, but i wanted to tell you

Anxiousanxietyart: break a leg, ro.

Anxiousanxietyart: i know as well as you that you'll do amazing, and you will rock this show, you hear? you'll blow us all away with your splendor.

Anxiousanxietyart: you always were too much for anyone, and you're so energetic and alive, and i

Anxiousanxietyart: i just really love you.

Anxiousanxietyart: i had to tell you that before the show started.

Anxiousanxietyart: break a leg. you'll be amazing.

Anxiousanxietyart: you truly are a star.

———————

The theater was dim, as one would expect.

It was packed, as one would not.

At least not from a 7-person show in the auditorium of a school that was only available for this one night. There were plenty of seats, and there was an actual stage with actual curtains obscuring it, which was honestly all it really needed to set the theatre mood, at least in Virgil's opinion.

He and Patton were roaming the isles, looking for a person they'd never actually spoken to in real life, in the same place, not on the phone. The murmur of hundreds of whispers at once was somehow almost deafening. It was certainly overwhelming, whatever else it was, and if was all Virgil could do to keep calm.

‘it's okay, you've got this, you're only going to go see your boyfriend for the first time in the same room as him, no biggie,’ he thought. This did not calm him.

"C'mon, kiddo! You excited?" Patton was bouncing up and down on his toes, clutching his gift bag (containing two homemade plushies) with all his strength. No points for guessing if he was excited at all.

"Yeah..." Virgil brushed some stray violet strands of hair out of his eyes and sank further into his hoodie. Patton looked at him, concerned.

"You alright there, Virge?"

"Just anxious… More than usual, I mean."

Before Patton could respond, his phone rang. When he answered it (the ringtone was the Baby Bumblebee song; Pat had great ringtones for all his friends. Virgil's was the Little Einsteins theme song (why? no one knows.), and Roman's was I’ll Make a Man Out of You), his face lit up.

"Heya Lolo!" Patton listened intently for a few moments, during which Virgil could barely make out Logan's voice on the other end of the call.

"Mhmm... Uh huh... Okay... Alrightie!... Love you!... See ya in a sec!" Patton hung up and turned to Virgil.

"He's in Row G, Seats 7-9. C'mon!"

If Virgil wanted to turn and run out the door screaming, he couldn't have. Patton had him by the arm in an iron grip. There was no escape.

Patton tugged him at a run to the seats, which were full of people. However, Patton had eyes for only one person.

"Logan?"

A man turned, his glasses glinting in the light. His hair was blue in the dim light despite being black, the ends lighter and in need of a re-dyeing, and his expression, which had been neutral yet nervous, now sported a fond smile.

"Patton?"

Said boy ran and tackled Logan in a flying hug. Virgil was content to watch.

"LOGAN!!!!!!!!" Logan was unable to reply, his face being smushed into the shoulder of Patton.

"Mmph," he managed to get out.

Virgil felt like he was massively intruding on a private moment.

“Um, I’m just gonna go over there, away from here.”

Logan said something that might’ve been “You do that,” but also may have been “I like hat” or “potato fat”.

Virgil edged past them, giving Logan a sympathetic pat on the shoulder as he did so. He headed to his seat, and read over the program (it was a folded piece of paper with the show on the front and the cast list and people-who-helped list inside) in boredom. At one point he opened his phone and scrolled through Tumblr a bit, but he couldn’t concentrate. His nerves were up so high they’d breached the atmosphere and now couldn’t breathe because they didn’t have spacesuits.

He turned off his phone, sighing. There was nothing for him to do now but sit, wait, and check and double check and triple check that his bag was still there.

Minutes passed, and the lights did not dim, the chatter did not stop, and Logan and Patton had not returned. They were probably still catching up.

‘Or they’ve been kidnapped. Or they’re dead. Or they’re lost. Or they’ve abandoned you. Or they’re—’

“VIRGIL!”

Patton, hand in hand with Logan, was heading towards him. His freckled face was very flushed, his curly hair mussed up a little. He was waving, and almost pulling Logan behind him as he walked. Logan also appeared to be holding the gift bag Patton had given him.

“I’m baaaack!”

“I noticed.”

Logan looked a little sheepish. “Salutations, Virgil. Apologies for not greeting you earlier. I was, er, occupied.”

“No biggie,” replied Virgil, grinning. He then hugged Logan, who seemed to be a little more unaware of how these things went than he was.

They headed to their seats, chatting about life, the universe, and pie. Lots of pie.

“Pumpkin!”

“Chocolate is obviously the best!”

“No, pecan pie!”

“You’ve never even had pecan pie.”

“I know it’s good!”

“You’re allergic to nuts.”

“...it’s good!”

“Pumpkin is still the best.”

“Objectively, chocolate has the best taste.”

This discussion had been carrying on for a while when the lights finally dimmed. Virgil elbowed Logan (he wasn’t sitting next to him, but he would have rather been sucked into the dark, cold, unforgiving void than accidentally hurt Patton) to get him to stop ranting about chocolate pie and shut up.

“Shh! It’s starting!” He hissed. Patton and Logan instantly shut up, and soon, so did the rest of the theater.

There was a pause.

Then, the curtains opened.

The play began.

Virgil sat up anything-but-straight in his seat.

There, onstage, in real life for the first time, was Roman, as animated and alive as possible up in front of hundreds of people.

It was impossible to see the details of his face (beyond "beautiful") through the makeup and lighting, but it was unmistakably him. The energy was too alive and purely Roman to be anything but him. The hair was the precise shade of Roman's, the infectious grin was the same, the singing voice was obviously his. It was a judgement no one needed talent to make.

Also, Virgil knew this play. He knew who Roman was in this play. He couldn't NOT figure it out.

Whichever friend was playing Marvin started singing about being an idiot, but he wasn’t paying attention. He just kept staring at Roman, on the side, watching Marvin, still in character. Obviously. This was Roman. He had enough acting focus for all the people in this room, and then some.

When Roman actually stood up and started having an actual singing part in “Thrill of First Love,” Virgil nearly died.

"Shall we head out for chocolate?" Logan suggested.

Neither Patton nor Virgil was one to turn down chocolate.

They exited the theater, and were overwhelmed instantly by the crowds you only seem to find during intermission: every single one desiring candy, not enough time for everyone to be fortunate enough to get some.

It was quite overwhelming, and Virgil decided that Logan and Patton could be left alone for the sake of him getting a moment of relief.

"I'm going to hide over there, can you get me some MNMs?" He asked. “I’m just gonna get away from people for a little bit.”

Patton nodded, and Virgil took that as his cue to leave.

He walked away, dodging crowds and clumps of clustered humans, huddled together so as not to lose each other. He did his best to avoid contact with them; fleeting touches were hard to deal with emotionally. He managed to make it to the bathroom, where he figured he could be alone for a few moments.

Virgil stepped into the bathroom, and collided with a blur of a person.

“Oh, pardon me!”

“It was my fault.”

Virgil separated himself from the stranger, and made it a full 5 seconds before halting.

“...wait...”

He spun around at the same time as the “stranger”. His green-brown eyes were wide with surprise and recognition.

“Roman?”

“Virgil?”

“Oh my gosh it’s you!” Virgil exclaimed, eyes widening even more than he’d thought possible. Roman ran at him and wrapped him in a huge hug. Virgil hugged back, burying his head in Roman’s shoulder as he did his very best to hold back tears.

He was not prepared for this.

When they finally separated, they each kept their hands on the other’s shoulders, not ever wanting to let go of each other, even for a moment. They just looked at each other for a full one minute, not sure what to say.

“You’re still in costume,” Virgil said.

“You’re still wearing that same hoodie you always are,” said Roman, and hearing his voice and touching him and seeing him talk and him being right there, right now was just too much.

“Please tell me I’m not the only one on the verge of tears here, because if I’m the only one crying, it will be really bad.”

“Are you kidding?” Roman laughed. “If I smudge my stage makeup, I’m gonna be really upset, and so will everyone else in this gosh darn ding dang show, but they’ll just have to deal with it because I just saw my gosh darn ding dang boyfriend for the first time, in real life, so heck yeah I’m gonna cry!”

“Oh thank goodness you’re gonna cry too, I’m gonna return to Logan and Patton with smudged eyeliner and they’re gonna be so confused.”

They both laughed, wiping at their eyes. When they finally calmed down, they just kind of stared at each other some more, drinking each other in.

Roman was the one to break the silence. “Oh, here!” He fished around in his pocket. “I accidentally put the eyeliner in my pocket instead of back in the makeup bag,” he explained. “Can’t do anything about the eyeshadow, but from your selfies, I’m pretty sure at least some havoc there is normal.”

Virgil snorted. “Alright. Eyeliner me up.”

Eyeliner him up Roman did. A few moments later and Virgil had wings so sharp they could cut a man.

“There!” Roman exclaimed when done. “Your makeup-strewn beautiful mess of a face is no longer makeup-strewn!”

“Wow, thanks.”

He suddenly realized that Roman had not pulled back, and was still very much in Virgil’s space bubble. Normally the space bubble was a holy, sacred space. This was not one of those times.

They were staring at each other. Virgil could see the flecks of gold in the depths of Roman’s eyes.

He was truly extraordinary.

Finally, Virgil had had enough, and pulled Roman in by the face. Their lips met with all the pent-up passion of many months of desire. He was filled with a kind of happiness and love he'd never even thought possible.

Inevitably, regretfully, they parted. Both faces were flushed. Cheeks were very red beneath white foundation (Virgil) and loads of stage makeup (Roman).

"Ah, shoot!" Roman cursed. "I must take my leave—I must be behind the stage by the time intermission is almost over. They only let us out for bathroom breaks, and even then time is tight. My apologies, Virgil."

"I get it, Ro. The show needs you." Part of Virgil wanted to scream 'but I want you to stay here with me!', but he couldn't make himself do it. Also, his brain was short-circuiting a little. He had kissed Roman. Roman had kissed him. His brain would never work right again.

"I shall see you in a bit, then!" Roman kissed his cheek quickly, and the space where his lips touched was suddenly the place where his blood wanted to be at this moment. "Or rather," continued Roman, "you'll see me." He winked.

"Uhh," Virgil said, very intelligently.

"See you later, alligator." Roman swished out of the room with a flourish he was certainly quite proud of.

"Uhh, crocodile."

He was ruined. Ruined.

When he got back to his friends (whose hair was not as neat as it once was, but if you thought Virgil was going to point that out, you also probably thought the Percy Jackson movies were good), any hope of them not noticing his slightly messed-up makeup was shattered.

"What happened to your face?" Patton asked.

"Um, so I think I just saw Roman."

Logan tilted his head. "How do you know?"

"I made out with him in the doorway to the bathroom."

Patton squealed. "Wait, really?!"

"Why and how would I make this up?!"

Patton made some more incoherent excited noises. Logan cleared his throat.

"You were sure it was him, correct?"

"Don't worry, I didn't kiss some random stranger. He was in costume too. And he looked exactly like Roman. And sounded like him. And talked like him."

"If it looks like a tomato, smells like a tomato, sounds like a tomato, it's an orange!" Patton said.

"That's... not how it goes..." Logan sighed. "You're lucky I love you."

Patton smiled and leaned his head on Logan's shoulder. "Love you too, honeybee."

"I feel like I'm intruding," said Virgil. "Should I maybe leave?"

That's when the lights dimmed again. Apparently not.

The curtains parted, and there stood Mendel, waiting to begin the second act.

“Homosexuals!”

Mendel was pointing at them. He was freaking pointing his little airplane guide things at them.

Did he know anything?

Mendel winked at them before continuing.

Curse you, Roman.

The rest of the show went quite smoothly (and bonus, Virgil learned just how attractive Roman was with sunglasses: very attractive indeed). By the end, Patton, the only one who didn't know what was coming (Virgil was a theatre nerd and Logan was the brother of another), was sobbing openly. Virgil was, for the first time, grateful for his earlier cry. It helped to hide the tears streaking down his face at the moment. Even Logan was trying to hide that he, too, had shed more than a single tear. Lo, you good ol' liar.

Roman’s voice was beautiful, as usual.

Even when what he was singing was heartbreaking.

Many tears were shed that night.

By the time the show was done, and the cast ran out for bows, there wasn’t a dry eye in sight. A roar of applause sounded around the theatre, and Virgil could feel his hands hurting from clapping so hard. One person stood up. Then another. A tidal wave of people rose to their feet, and Virgil was among them. He couldn’t have resisted if he wanted to.

In the spotlight, Roman seemed to thrive on the cheers and applause of the audience. He had never looked better, more comfortable in his own skin (which was ironic, because he was just acting).

He was, simply, stunning.

The journey from the theatre to the overcrowded hallway was a blur of wow. Logan and Patton were chatting (read: consoling Patton as he sobbed into Logan’s shoulder), but Virgil was in a daze and didn’t pay attention.

He certainly rectified that when he saw a specific, familiar grin and eyes like the prized jewels of power in some fantasy novel.

“ROMANNNNNN!!!!!” Patton ran and hugged Roman, then was confused when no one else joined him.

“Am I the only one?”

Logan cleared his throat. “I’ve known him long than any other combination of two people here have known each other.”

“And I just met him for the first time. Sorta kinda.” Virgil thought for a moment. “Is it the first time? Or not? How does this work?”

“You cannot fool me with the play I just starred in!” Roman smirked. “Oh, also, who knows? I certainly do not.”

“You know nothing.”

Roman let out an offended noise. “Rude!”

Virgil snorted. “What else is new?”

Roman looked him up and down slowly. “For once, the fact that you are actually here, in person.”

“What are you going to do with me now that I’m here?” Virgil asked.

He was answered with a smirk. “Well, first—”

“You’re going to accompany us to the nearest restaurant,” Logan interrupted, “where we will have a nice dinner, free of any icky romantic-type shenanigans. After that, you are free to do as you wish, without informing me about it, and certainly without me right here. Witnessing it. With my eyes. Which need bleach now.”

“Any romantic shenanigans?” Patton and Roman asked, for completely different reasons.

“Any. At all.”

“Pretty sure you don’t really think you can stop them…” Virgil pointed out.

Logan sighed. “I am aware. However, that will not prevent me from trying.”

“Fair enough.”

Roman raised his hand. “I vote Crunchy & Emerald!” He fingergunned at Virgil. “I hear the mac n cheese is excellent there.”

“Oy vey.” Despite his words, Virgil was smiling, and his tone was fond.

“Sounds good to me!” Patton nodded.

Logan shrugged. “Why not?”

Roman extended his arm to Virgil. It was a very olden-timey gesture. It was also adorable. “We never did finish that game of 20 questions, did we?”

Virgil grinned, taking his boyfriend’s arm. “That is indeed not something that we did.”

“I believe it’s your turn to ask a question.”

“Nah. Can you start?”

“I will gladly do that, love.”

“Shall we?”

“We shall.”

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted:

OF SEA AND SHORE

Summary: Xaer, heir to the mer kingdom, wished for more than a life of sitting (or hovering above) a throne. Vect, prince of the mainland, wanted adventure and exploration. Peri just wanted a nap in the seaweed.

Word count: 34716

Warnings: Drowning (or rather, almost-drowning), water, sharks, blood in said water, a gigantic octopus lady

A/N: At Last, posting time has arrived! I have waited anxiously for the time to come to share this with you, and now you can see for yourself! Art by my lovely boyfriend and partner for the Bang, @AnxiousAnxietyArt , is here! Enjoy!

It was all quiet under the cover of night and dark waters.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart posted a photo/photos:

here’s the art for the starbound big bang. My partner was @disneynbroadwaynprinces , and his fic can be found here.

———————

EPILOGUE

When Virgil went to ring the doorbell, he almost hesitated. For the first time since Roman and Logan had taken a trip 3 months ago to go see about 10 million musicals in New York and summer break ended, Virgil was going to see his boyfriend again. What if Roman didn't still love him? What if he was possessed? What if he got SQUIPped over the summer? What if—

Patton pushed the doorbell with enough enthusiasm and energy to power China for three years.

Okay then.

Virgil had just enough time to wonder why the doorbell was apparently the "Ma-na-ma-na" song from The Muppets (possibly from Patton messing with it) when the door opened and a very familiar voice yelled his name.

"VIRGIL!"

He was pulled into a tight embrace by his boyfriend. Virgil hugged Roman tight, ignoring the tears leaking past his eyelids. He was barely aware of Patton edging past him to greet Logan. You do that, Patton. I'll just stay right here.

"I missed you," Virgil whispered.

"I missed you too," replied Roman, dipping Virgil and kissing him passionately (like everything else he did). Any stray ends of thought that may have been there instantly vanished, gone into the void. There was only Roman, the reality of him, he who lives in fantasy. His chest filled with a jumble of emotions, and for once he didn't try to repress them.

When they finally broke apart, both were content to stand there, basking in the presence of each other. Neither wanted to break the silence.

"So, we watching this thing or not?" Virgil said finally. There would be plenty of time for saying all that needed to be said, doing all that needed to be done, all of that later.

"Not so fast, mister." Roman looked stern, but also like he wanted to laugh. "Where's that art you promised me?"

"Aren't I art enough?" Virgil joked.

"Well, yes, but a promise is a promise! Fulfill your oath, or you shall feel my wrath!"

"Spicy."

"What??"

"Nothing." Virgil reached into his bag and brought out a piece of paper that had been looked at many times over the course of the last month.

Roman stared at it. It was an image of the day the two had met the first time, Roman onstage, in his costume, radiant. He was utterly spectacular. In the spotlight, he seemed to glow.

“I—Virgil, this is…”

“Full of mistakes and terrible line art, yes, I know.”

“Shut up!” Roman’s face was very, very red. Normally, Virgil would have teased him, but something stopped him. Maybe it was the expression on Roman’s face, maybe it was how he turned to look at Virgil, maybe it was the star struck look in his eyes, maybe it was—

Maybe it was the fact that Logan chose to speak up just then.

"Come over here, you horrifyingly sappy gays! It’s starting!" Logan was standing on the doorway, arms crossed as he looked at the pair. They jumped apart, surprised, the drawing fluttering to the floor. It landed face-up.

"Rude!" Roman yelled back.

Virgil placed his arm on Roman’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go join the others.”

Roman nodded. “Alright. Let’s go.”

They walked over to join a frantically-bouncing-up-and-down Patton on a couch with Logan, who looked extremely calm for the situation.

Roman settled himself on a comfortable armchair. Virgil perched on the armrest of said armchair.

"Why are you on the armrest?" Roman asked. “You're not an arm. You would be the blue lion, if anything. You’d be a leg. The leg of Voltron, but still a leg.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Because places that aren't meant to be sat on are always more comfortable than regular chairs. Duh."

“Oh, of course.”

Patton bounced even higher and faster, if that was possible. “Come on come on come ooooonnnnnn! Starbound is here!!!”

Logan stared at his boyfriend, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Did you happen to have any sugar within the last 24 hours?”

“...maybe…”

Virgil sighed. “I told you not to, Pat!”

“But there were MnMs! I had to have the MnMs!” Patton protested, not slowing down in his frantic movements.

Logan kissed his cheek. “Patton, I love you, but that was a very illogical decision.”

“I knoooowwwww, but MnMs!”

“There is only one way to resolve this conflict!” Roman declared. He ran into the other room, returning a minute later with a bag full of marshmallows.

“Ro, what the heckety heck are you doing?” Virgil asked.

“We must ALL eat excessive amounts of sugar in order to have Patton be less hyper by comparison!” He ripped open the bag and tossed a marshmallow into his mouth with ease.

Logan raised his hand. “That would be not only quite damaging to your health, but also illogical.” Logan walked over to Roman and stuck his hand into the marshmallow bag, grabbing a large handful.

“I cannot allow you and Virgil to consume this entire bag. It would be bad. Also, the fact that the amount of sugar in a few MnMs is quite different to the amount of sugar in marshmallows is quite different. To even it up more, we must all eat marshmallows.”

He stuffed the entire handful of gooey marshmallows into his face.

Well.

Virgil burst out laughing as Roman stood there, looking scandalized at the actions of Logan. “How dare?”

Patton made grabby hands. “Can I have some marshmallows?”

Logan grabbed one (prompting more protests from Roman) and gave it to his boyfriend. They all settled back down in their seats, prepared for what was coming.

Khoshekh ran into the room, meowing. He made a flying cat leap onto Virgil’s lap, purring contentedly. How he perched there when Virgil was sitting on the edge of a chair, no one knew. He was a cat. Cats make their own rules.

Logan, who was (after a unanimous decision) in control of the remote, set up the TV. A few minutes later, everything was up and running and ready.

Virgil put his arm around his boyfriend and cuddled him close. “Ironic, isn’t it?” He laughed softly. “This is what brought us all together.”

Roman leaned into Virgil’s touch. “Yeah. To think that we’re here now, it feels… right.” He kissed his boyfriend’s cheek.

Patton paused his bouncing long enough to nod excitedly in agreement  and give Logan a long hug. Logan closed his eyes and attempted to kiss Patton, but by then he’d resumed his bouncing.

“I can’t believe Logan is dead,” Roman whispered in his ear.

Virgil shook his head. “Rip Logan. He will be missed.”

Logan the corpse leaned over to punch Roman’s shoulder. “Shut up.”

“Shutting up now, sir.” Roman smirked and pantomimed zipping his lips.

“Let’s watch this thing!” Patton exclaimed, making grabby hands for the remote. If Logan didn’t start it soon, he would do it himself.

Lo finally managed to kiss Patton’s cheek. “Alright, let us begin.”

He pressed play.

[writinggeisha]

LazyGeisha's Note: I'm putting the text under the "read more" due to explicit words being used. If this post becomes a problem, I'll stick it all up on Google docs and post a link.

**Updated in 2017**

My name is Quinn Anderson, and I've been writing smut for over ten years now. I'm also a published author. I've written the Murmur Inc. series and several other LGBT+ erotic novels, which you can find in the references section, and I've been an active member of fandom since childhood. Now that my entirely unimpressive credentials are out of the way, let's get to the point.

·                     A friend of mine recently told me that she has difficulty writing smut, because she feels like she's being repetitive or boring or that she just can't create the right mood. To help her, I agreed to put together what I consider to be the building blocks of writing erotic fiction, both heterosexual and homosexual. This is a comprehensive list that she (and now all of you) can consult when you're writing if you can't think of a word/feel like you've said the same thing over and over/just want to get some fresh ideas.

·                     This article is free for everyone to consult, and there's absolutely no need to credit me if you use something from this list. Most everything on here is fairly common, and an experienced smut writer will likely recognise everything here. I've attempted to categorise it neatly for easy reference, and some things are mentioned in more than one section because they are equally applicable. I also have a tendency to switch tenses/perspectives, depending on the wording, so hopefully that won't annoy the dickens out of most of you. If you think of something I missed and want me to add it to the list, please don't hesitate to leave a comment.

·                     Disclaimer: I am no way trying to give the impression that I know everything there is to know about writing smut. Literotica is an ever-evolving beast, and I just want to help my fellow writers. I give some general advice at the end that you're absolutely free to ignore. I'm not trying to suggest that anyone who does the things I warn against is a bad writer, nor am I attempting to criticise anyone (except perhaps E.L. James. We'll get to that). If I at any point give that impression, please let me know, and I'll change my wording. However, please keep in mind that this is a FREE resource intended to help others, and I'm under no obligation to anyone but myself.

All further notes/comment from me will either be in parenthesis or marked with an *.

Table of Contents

(to reach any section, use the control and f keys, then search for the heading)

i. Introduction

ii. Reaction Words

iii. Adverbs

iv. Sexy Alternatives to "Said"

v. Generally Sexy Actions

vi. Kissing

vii. Blow Jobs

viii. Cunnilingus

ix. Penetrative Intercourse

x. First Times and Losing Virginities

xi. The Orgasm (.:chorus of angels:.)

xii. Generally Acceptable Slang Terms

xiii. Feelings When Aroused

xiv. Sexy Words

xv. Things that Sound Good Until You Imagine Someone Actually Doing Them

xvi. Some Dos and Don'ts of Smut Writing

xvii. References

i. Introduction

If you read/write fan fiction for long enough, certain ideas, tropes, and terms will get ingrained in you. For instance, in nearly every fic I've ever read, when characters kiss, one of them gasps, and the other "uses the opportunity to slip their tongue into their mouth" or some nigh-identical variation. Also, in nearly every porn fic, when one character orgasms, the "feel of their muscles clenching/pulsing" pushes the other character "over the edge." Sound familiar? We've all done it. We've all written it. Hell, I'm guilty of half the things on my Don'ts list, and I'm comfortable with that. Does the ubiquity of certain fan-fictiony phrases make them bad? Not at all. Should we all be trying to find new ways of saying the same ideas? Maybe. Maybe not. I like to think that these classics are simply one of the steps we all use to convey certain ideas in a way we know everyone will understand. I'm not attempting to denounce creativity, and certainly it's always a good idea to introduce new ideas, but we all need to start somewhere. That's the true purpose of this smut-writing guide.

When my debut novel was published, I had a lot of fan fiction habits violently beaten out of me. I had to remove about a dozen adjectives for "eyes" that bordered on absurd but seemed like a marvellous idea at the time, and I was forbidden on pain of death to ever use the phrase "ministrations" again. I also unwittingly changed my main character's name from "Nik" to "Nick" halfway through the novel. That, however, was not the worst of it. Let me tell you that there is nothing more embarrassing than going through your raw manuscript, reaching a sex scene and seeing that the editors ripped the ever-loving piss out of it. Having the anatomical impossibilities of your seemingly mind-blowing smut pointed out is enough to make even the most hardened of hard-core-porn writers cringe. It's even worse when you misspell the word "public" in a truly unfortunate way (hint: I forgot a letter), and it leads the editor to say, "This made me laugh so hard, my cat got up and sprinted out the room in a panic." I'm not here to do that to you. I'm here to try and keep someone else from doing it to you to the very best of my ability. Enjoy, and may the smut be with you.

ii. Reaction Words

·                     Shivers

·                     Shudders

·                     Trembles

·                     Quivers

·                     Quakes

·                     Shakes

·                     Gasps

·                     Moans

·                     Groans

·                     Jolts

·                     Jerks

·                     Lurches

·                     Startles

·                     Pants

·                     Huffs

·                     Gulps

·                     Cries out

·                     Melts

·                     Bites back a moan

·                     Breath hitches

·                     Babbling/sputtering

·                     Collapsing

·                     Knees buckling

·                     Swallowing hard

·                     Going limp

·                     See stars

·                     Makes a strangled noise

·                     Inhales (combine with an adverb i.e "he inhaled sharply")

·                     Exhales

·                     Skin prickles

·                     Brain short-circuits or stops functioning

·                     Sweating (there's loads to be done with sweat: the musky smell of it, tasting the saltiness of it, seeing a lover coated in a thin sheen of it, having it slick their bodies, etc.)

·                     Flushing (Flushing tends to happen in fleshy and sensitive areas. Armpits, cheeks, neck, ears, chest, genitals, and whole-body flushes for maximum effect)

·                     Eyes roll back

·                     Clenches

·                     Is stunned

·                     Gagging for it

·                     Dizzy for it

·                     Arch back/hips

·                     iii. Adverbs - Use these with prudence. An abundance of adverbs in a text can weaken your writing.

·                     Shakily

·                     Heatedly

·                     Desperately

·                     Incoherently

·                     Roughly

·                     Raggedly

·                     Headily

·                     Readily

·                     In a Needy way

·                     Deeply

·                     Breathily

·                     Noisily

·                     Loudly

·                     Heavily

·                     Dangerously

·                     Seductively

·                     Languidly

·                     Lazily

·                     Sensually

·                     Silkily

·                     Oily

·                     Hungrily

·                     Sinfully

·                     Darkly

·                     Warmly

·                     Softly

·                     Gently

·                     Tenderly

·                     Harshly

·                     Lusciously

·                     Quickly

·                     Slowly

·                     Frantically

·                     Wantonly

·                     iv. Sexy Alternatives to "Said"

·                     Purred

·                     Cooed

·                     Murmured

·                     Whispered

·                     Stuttered

·                     Breathed

·                     Rasped

·                     Cried out

·                     Begged

·                     Muttered (I'm not a fan of this one because I associate muttering with being angry, but I see it often enough)

·                     Growled

·                     Grunted

·                     Husked

·                     Howled

·                     Keened

·                     Mewled

·                     Choked

·                     Sobbed (dub-con warnings; use with caution)

·                     Whimpered

·                     Blurted

·                     Bleated (I like to use this for comedic effect)

·                     Teased

·                     Pleaded

·                     v. Generally Sexy Actions

·                     Sinking to their knees

·                     Licking

·                     Biting

·                     Nipping

·                     Pressing foreheads together

·                     Shoving a hand between someone's legs

·                     Shoving your hips together

·                     Pinning their wrists

·                     Caress

·                     Wink

·                     Wet/lick lips

·                     Hike a skirt up/ruck a shirt up

·                     Stroke (skin, hair, genitals, etc.)

·                     (when one character is pressed against a wall) A does something, and B slams/throws their head back into the wall in reaction.

·                     Undoing buttons/zips with their teeth (I suggest only having experienced lovers do this. It's remarkably difficult and you run the risk of getting your lip caught in a zip. It's not something to have a virgin get right on their first time in fiction if you want to be believable).

·                     Splay hands across someone's chest or lower back

·                     Rake nails across skin/through hair

·                     Hooking a leg around someone's waist

·                     Knee between thighs

·                     Biting collarbones/hip bones/ribs (the bones that tend to protrude beneath the skin and draw it taut)

·                     Sucking neck skin into the mouth

·                     Cupping their cheeks

·                     Grasping their chin and tilting it up/down

·                     Placing a finger against their lips

·                     Letting breath tickle their ears

·                     Digging your nails in

·                     Dipping your tongue into collarbone/bellybutton/ears/etc.

·                     Tugging on earlobes with teeth

·                     Push their hair back/card through it/rake through it

·                     Hair pulling

·                     Lips brushing ears

·                     Ghosting over their neck with fingers/lips

·                     Running fingers lightly over someone's palm or wrist

·                     Hip grinding/rutting/thrusting/rolling/shifting/rockin g together

·                     Dirty Talk (this can be anything from a simple "Oh, God, yes" to a full-on "I want to feel your name burning on my skin for days*." I suggest loads of cursing and using the lord's name in vain. "Oh fuck, oh, Jesus, fuck yes, there, just like that, fucking Christ" is a good start.)

·                     Nipple play (Use caution depending on gender. Some men love it, some hate it, the majority of women love it)

·                     Nuzzle

·                     Tease/torture/torment

·                     *Credit for that line to a Sherlock/Moriarty fic called "Crescendo" by PlainJaneDoe. It's amazing and a prime example of dirty talk. 10/10 Highly recommend. It's listed in the References section.

·                     vi. Kissing

·                     Lip play – biting, running your tongue over the lips, over where they meet, just inside of them, tracing their outline with the tip of the tongue

·                     Massaging the tongues together

·                     Rolling them over each other

·                     Imitating sex/fucking the person's mouth with your tongue

·                     Brushing lips together

·                     Pausing when lips are just barely touching and breathing each other's air (can cause dizziness akin to sexual arousal)

·                     Sucking their bottom lip into your mouth

·                     Bruising/crushing/kissing hard

·                     Teeth clicking

·                     Sucking on the tongue

·                     Swirling your tongue around theirs

·                     Flicking your tongue (also for oral sex)

·                     vii. Blow Jobs

·                     Reddened lips

·                     Swollen lips

·                     Slick

·                     Sloppy

·                     Lips darkened and wet with saliva

·                     Making eye contact

·                     Hollowing cheeks

·                     Swirling tongue

·                     Gently, gently biting or scraping teeth (quickest way to make a man cringe is to mention biting his thing, so please exercise with caution)

·                     Dipping tongue into the slit

·                     Fucking someone's mouth (for the receiver of oral)

·                     Deep throating (for experienced lovers, usually)

·                     Playing with balls

·                     Rubbing the perineum* or frenulum**

·                     Swallowing around it

·                     Engulfed in wet heat

·                     Pulling the foreskin back to expose the head

·                     Using hands and lips together

·                     Suction

·                     Pressure

·                     * The perineum is an erogenous zone for both males and females. In males it's the stretch of skin between the balls and the anus, which is receptive to massage. In females, it's the area between the vulva and the anus.

·                     ** The frenulum is a band of tissue under the penis that connects to the foreskin, which some men find sensitive.

·                     And then just for general knowledge, the glans is the head of the penis, or head.

·                     viii. Cunilingus (Female Oral Sex)

·                     Lapping

·                     Playing with the woman's wetness/juices

·                     Fingering (make note of finger nail length. Long fingernails need to be careful)

·                     Parting the lips

·                     Flicking your tongue

·                     Flower comparisons (these are an old cliché, but you can refresh it a bit if you avoid the usual)

·                     Fleshy pink (red and occasionally purple are also acceptable colour comparisons)

·                     Delving the tongue in

·                     Playing with the inner thing

·                     Using synonyms for the clitoris should be done with caution. Some like "button" and "nub" are commonly accepted, but if you say "pleasure button" or "Southern nipple", you may get some sniggers.

·                     ix. Intercourse (Anal* and Vaginal**)

·                     Sinking into someone/down onto a cock

·                     Riding – descriptions of bouncing breasts for females, working thigh muscles for both, watching the man's cock disappear into their body

·                     Pulling hips down harder

·                     Digging fingers into their shoulders/chest/hips/back

·                     Setting a pace/rhythm – losing that rhythm as climax approaches

·                     Getting seated

·                     Buried in a person

·                     Snapping/slamming/pounding hips

* There's a LOT of debate about the "proper" amount of preparation needed before anal sex. Some people insist you can just go for it, while others (myself included), think those people are ruining anal sex for everyone else. I've had loads of female-identifying friends of mine say they tried anal once and hated it and will never do it again. This is almost the result of people who don't know what the hell they're doing. IF YOU'RE READING THIS, STOP IT. STOP PUTTING DICKS AND SEX TOYS IN THINGS WITHOUT LEARNING TO DO IT PROPERLY. DO A DAMN GOOGLE SEARCH ON HOW TO PREPARE FOR ANAL.

I could write a whole article on this alone, but for the sake of brevity, I'll break it down: before anal, 1) you need to clean out your ass, 2) you need to use lube, and 3) some people say you need to get your ass used to taking penis-sized objects. Personally, I think fingering/rimming will do just fine, but literally everyone has a different opinion on this. On a personal note, I think writing preparation (lubing up, fingering, etc.) can be really hot. I'm not sure why people shy away from them, thinking that it "kills the mood." Just deciding who does the preparing can be hot. Does Person A prepare Person B for hours, until they're begging for it? Or just until they can take it without being hurt because they're so desperate to fuck? Or does Person B insist on preparing themselves, letting Person A sit back and watch them finger themselves? There are all sorts of sexy possibilities.

Also, let's talk about appropriate lube. I have read some absolutely horrific fics where people used inappropriate, unsanitary things as lube. Butter is not lube. Soy Sauce is not lube. Candle Wax is not lube. No, I am not kidding when I say I have actually seen these things in fic. Please don't do that to the characters. Some of us love them deeply.

** It's important to note that both the G-spot and the clit are involved in female orgasm (and are tied to one another. Stimulating the G-spot stimulates the clit), so a number of women like to stimulate their clit while having penetrative sex to facilitate an easier climax. You can add this for a bit of extra realism—or just for the sexiness of it (Blythe, M. J., Rosenthal, S. L., & American Academy of Pediatrics, 2007, pp. 1335-1337).

It is also important to decide if you are going to mention safe sex practices in your fic (you should do this for oral sex as well, since you're just as likely to get STIs from oral sex as penetrative, though you can't get pregnant). I'm personally in favour of mentioning getting checked for STIs and using condoms in fic. I think it's important to mention these things so people start thinking about them/recognising the issues of unplanned pregnancy and disease. However, the counterargument is that this is fantasy, and obviously fictional characters can't get pregnant or diseased without the author writing it. It's up to you, but in the interest of realism, I highly suggest you at least have the characters have a conversation about why they're not using condoms, such as "Here's my bloodwork. I'm STI free. By the way, I'm on the pill." Not that flippant, obviously, but hopefully you get what I mean.

x. Writing First Times and Losing Virginities

First Times can be a mixed bag. Sometimes they're pure, animalistic, I-must-throw-you-down-and-fuck-you-right-now humping sessions, and other times they're slow, tender bouts of lovemaking between two characters who have been building up to this moment for 356 pages. Either way, they can go horribly awry. It will be more realistic if the characters fumble a bit or spend time learning each other's bodies. No one is magically endowed with a perfect knowledge of their partner's sexual likes and dislikes, so let your characters experiment. Have fun with it. Whether you go for the hard fuck or the candlelit seduction, a first time should have a sense of reverence, if not in canon than in your writing. Draw it out. Don't be shy with the foreplay. Have someone come too early and then spend their refractory period ruthlessly pleasuring the other until they're ready for round two. You really can't go wrong.

For vaginal sex, if the woman is a virgin, please refrain from pulling a Fifty Shades of Grey and expecting there to be anything as ridiculous as a "weird, pinching sensation deep inside [you]", and it is not possible for someone to "rip through [your] virginity" (James, 2011, p. 101). Also, for the love of God, if you ever make your characters feel anything of the sort, do not have them shout "Argh!" as it happens. I've never face-palmed so hard in my life. Losing your virginity can hurt, yes, and there can be blood and the breaking of the hymen, but if you are properly lubricated and take your time, there is no reason for these things to occur (Brion-Meisels, S., Lowenheim, G., Rendeiro, B., 1982, p. 157).

- For anal sex, if you think a character can take a 12-inch cock with minimal preparation on the first go and experience nothing but soul-sizzling pleasure, you are mistaken. See "Intercourse."

·                     xi. The Orgasm

·                     The Earth stops spinning/stutters on its axis

·                     Dissolve into pleasure

·                     Lightning

·                     Electricity

·                     Waves (overdone, but you can jazz this one up if you try – i.e. waves of fire instead of the usual)

·                     Explosions

·                     Shockwaves

·                     Rippling

·                     Trails of fire

·                     Fire pooling low in their abdomen

·                     A spring coiling tightly and then being release

·                     Fireworks (please only use this sparingly. It's the oldest term for kissing/pleasure/etc. in history)

·                     Light – white light in particular, or everything cutting to white noise

·                     Vision fading to black

·                     Static

·                     Shattering

·                     Splintering

·                     Pulsing (also feeling someone pulse whilst inside them)

·                     Time slows

·                     Falling

·                     Flying

·                     Rocketing

·                     Going still/tense

·                     Jerking

·                     Vocalisation in any form

·                     Moaning a mixture of curse words and their lover's name

·                     xii. Generally Acceptable Slang Terms*

·                     Clit

·                     G-spot

·                     Cock

·                     Dick

·                     Prick and Fanny for the Anglophiles (penis and vagina)

·                     Slit (male and female)

·                     Entrance

·                     If you want to channel your inner porn star you can say cunt, pussy and hole.

Cum or come (I have seen ragging debates about which one of these should be used, but really it's either)

* There are some slang terms that are generally accepted but should be used with a grain of salt. These usually have to do with genitalia, like saying shaft, rod, manhood etc. for penis and mound, core, cave, tunnel etc. for vagina. It's sort of an odd line, because using clinical terms like penis in fiction can be just as jarring as using vague terms like cavern for vagina. It took me until I was 19 to finally say the word "cock" in fan fiction, and I still sometimes default to the softer "erection." Go with what you're comfortable with, but keep your audience in mind. This also applies for things like semen and vaginal lubrication. There's no need to use creative terms for those things. I've seen the term "spunk trumpet" used, and I may never recover.

·                     xiii. Feelings when Aroused

·                     Feeling hazy

·                     Drunk

·                     Intoxicated

·                     Heady

·                     Fuzzy

·                     Dizzy

·                     Dazed

·                     Breathless

·                     Heart pounding/racing/stuttering/skipping

·                     Blood buzzing/roaring in ears

·                     Hot (and all obvious synonyms – warm, burning, smouldering, scorching, blazing etc. These are particularly good for describing eyes. i.e. "The moment their gaze met, her eyes blazed")

·                     Shaky

·                     Overwhelmed (a bit dub-con, so use with caution)

·                     Light

·                     Light-headed

·                     Fumbling

·                     Drowning in pleasure

·                     Burst

·                     Combust

·                     Sizzling

·                     Sparking

·                     Crackling

·                     Fiery

·                     Teeming

·                     Searing

·                     Passion

·                     Ecstasy

·                     Bliss

·                     Pleasure

·                     xiv. Sexy Words

·                     Dark

·                     Sinful

·                     Carnal

·                     Lithe

·  ��                  Lissom

·                     Supine

·                     Wanton

·                     Animalistic

·                     Unadulterated

·                     Undulate

·                     Lust

·                     Want

·                     Need

·                     Velvet/Satin/Lace/Silk

·                     Hunger

·                     Burn

·                     Wet noises/slick/liquid/squelch

·                     Frenzy

·                     Frantic

·                     Frenetic

·                     Desire

·                     Heat

·                     Arousal

·                     Adrenaline

·                     Clenched

·                     Intensity/intense

·                     Intoxicate

·                     Flutter

·                     Strip

·                     Sluice

·                     Tease

·                     Spark

·                     Ignite

·                     Ride

·                     Friction

·                     Frisson

·                     Flicked

·                     Sinuous/sinewy/willowy

·                     Lilting

·                     Sonorous

·                     Rumbling

·                     Sweet

·                     Slide

·                     Frustration

·                     Squeeze

·                     Press

·                     Torturous

·                     Massage

·                     Pressure

·                     Tightening

·                     Possessive

·                     Raucous

·                     Cacophonic

·                     Harmony

·                     Taut

·                     Tension

xv. Things that Sound Good Until You Imagine Someone Actually Doing Them

- Shaking their head to clear their thoughts. Think of a wet dog drying itself off. That is what this would look like.

- Rolling their eyes back into their head. All I think of is The Exorcist.

- Having their mouth pop open in surprise. Unless something really, really surprising has just happened, this should not.

- Someone speaking in a way that their tongue seems to "caress your skin/name." This makes me again think of a dog slobbering all over someone, or else they're wearing a name tag and that person is literally licking it.

- Spending several minutes staring after someone who's left the room. Seconds, sure. Minutes? Um, no. I want you to go to any public place in the world and stare forward with a catatonic look on your face for several minutes. Count how long it takes for someone to ask you if you're all right, assuming that they don't just call for an ambulance to begin with.

- Rocking back and forth happily. Again, try doing this in public and see what happens (Parkins, 2012).

- Any and all entirely orchestrated moves, such as a character whipping their glasses off angrily or stroking their beard whilst thinking. No one actually does those things; we just see them in films and add them into our writing to convey outdated mannerisms.

xvi. Some Do's and Don'ts of Smut Writing

It's easy to get carried away when writing smut or to get self-conscious and end up writing something that sounds like your mum was looking over your shoulder the whole time. Remember to relax and just do what feels right. If the scene makes you feel hot, it'll probably do the same to your readers. But just in case, here are a few fan fiction pitfalls and tips.

Do describe how your characters are reacting/feeling in detail. There's a time and a place for quiet, controlled sex, and it's usually when your characters are in a public place and might get caught. Otherwise, feel free to have them grunting like beasts and throwing furniture about. Expressive sex is rarely viewed as a bad thing.

Don't be afraid to be realistic. Not all sex is magical, perfect, orgasmic sex where both characters are Porn Star-level Sex Gods who climax at precisely the same time. It can be messy, it can be sloppy, the friction can be too much, it can be painful and the characters can make embarrassing noises. A level of realism can actually make the sex hotter as opposed to spoiling the mood.

Do take that advice up there ^- with a grain of salt. Most people do like for their fantasy sex to be just that: a fantasy. You can use realism to advance the plot line (such as having two characters get walked in on when they didn't bother to lock the door), or you can use it for too much realism, like having someone accidentally burp while kissing their lover. Things like the latter example do happen in real life, and you're welcome to include them, but doing something like that in the middle of a sex scene for no reason can kill your audience's boner.

Don't feel the need to equate dirty talk with name calling or degradation. I read loads of fic when I was younger where characters would call each other sluts and whores when it wasn't a humiliation kink fic, and they were in a monogamous, loving relationship. Humiliation kinks are perfectly fine, but if you're not writing that sort of fic, you don't necessarily need to have one character call the other one a dirty slut just for the sake of doing it. "Oh yes, take my cock, you filthy whore" can be hot in the right circumstances, but if it's in the middle of 'regular' sex, it seems out of place. On a personal note, if a man or woman called me a filthy whore during non-roleplaying sex, I'd burn their clothes in my back garden and then turn them out. Sex is not something you should be made to feel ashamed of unnecessarily.

Do use metaphor (with caution). Comparing the sexual tension between two characters to a string drawn taut or crackling electricity is perfectly fine. Comparing someone's arsehole to the dark, unexplored stretches of an Amazon jungle is probably going to get you put on wtffanfiction. However, metaphor is one of the most honoured traditions of smut writing, from the crashing waves of the orgasm to the pert, pink buds of a fair maiden's nipples. Use it wisely and regularly.

Don't say that one of your character's voices jumped or dropped several octaves. That is a personal pet peeve of mine, and I see it in fiction all the time. The average human vocal range is one and a half octaves. A trained singer can reach two or three, and at four octaves, Freddie Mercury's voice was considered so exceptional, it's widely believed that very few people can properly sing his songs. Do not say your character's voice lowered several (i.e. three or more) octaves unless they went from a high soprano to a pitch only elephants can hear (Parkins, 2012, Kindle Location 393). This obviously does not apply to characters who aren't human. You're welcome to say their voice dropped an octave, however.

Do make sure that what you're writing is anatomically possible. For example, during gay intercourse where two males are face-to-face, the one who is receiving needs to have their hips at a relatively high angle because the arsehole is further back than a vaginal entrance. During straight sex, if a woman is twisting around to look at a man who's taking her from behind, don't have her go to such a degree that she should theoretically crack her spine. When writing things like this, imagine doing them yourself (or better yet, try to do them). If you can't manage it, chances are your characters can't either.

Don't use epithets if you can avoid it. Epithets are other ways of referring to someone, such as saying "the blonde" or "the shorter man". These are incredibly popular in fan fiction, but publishers will make you remove them (Trust me, my novel had 157 corrections of this sort alone). This can be quite difficult to avoid if you're writing male-on-male or female-on-female porn, since you can end up with a sentence like, "He pulled his hands above his head and drew his body up until he was a long, sinewy line" that leave you thinking, "Who the hell did what to who?" The trick here is to use their names and pronouns interchangeably, so you get, "Nik pulled Seth's hands above his head and drew his body up until it was a long, sinewy line."

Do get a trusted friend or beta to read over your work for you. There's no shame in using a beta; it's just like having an editor go over a manuscript. They'll tell you if you made any unfortunate typos (like mine. See "Introduction") or if something seems implausible. Be open to constructive criticism, though if anyone is unnecessarily or mean-spiritedly critical, send them my way, and I'll shove a virtual boot up their arse.

Don't use words without making sure you know what they mean. For example, loads of people are under the impression that "bemused" means "amused." It means "confused." Nonplussed" can mean surprised or not surprised at all, inflammable and flammable both mean easy to set on fire, nauseous means you're making everyone about you feel sick, droll does not mean dull—it means curious in a way that incites wry amusement, and "all right" is two words. Alright is not all right. Unique means literally one of a kind. Something cannot be "quite unique." It's either a golden flamingo or it's not (Clark, 2012, p. 3).

[tssidesfics]

5, 19, and 43 for the fanfic asks, pretty please?

For reference so you don't need to reread the post:

5. Which fanfic of mine do I think everyone should have read?

19. Dead or overused tropes

43. Guilty pleasure tropes/scenarios

Also post link here

5. I am not going to try to pass judgment on what you "should have" done. That's not productive. I don't like the phrasing of this question and didn't notice that until just now. However, the fic I'm most proud of and would really like people to read is Morality Is Grey. Most likely, though, everyone who follows this blog has already read that and is now passionately glaring at me through the screen to stop doing fic asks and start drafting.

It's just...being difficult. It's a big scene and the transition is being a bitch and I'm having to choose between creating a monster chapter that's way too long or a semi-awkward transition that doesn't entirely flow so I can have a chapter break. Plus, just...the holidays suck and I'm anxiously awaiting good news. Any good news. Literally anything. The tiniest nugget of an emotional break. Universe, I am begging.

19. First and foremost, I'm not here to tell anyone to stop writing what they like. However, I've grown...very, very tired of most romance tropes. Fake dating, Soulmate, One Bed, Coffee Shop...all of it. I recently realized I was aromantic and it gave me this stark wakeup call that I just...don't really belong in fandom space? Or fictional spaces at all? I'm not welcome. There's this passive antipathy that I run into wherever I go. I know it's not conscious or deliberate, but there's a lot of fanfic tropes that are very amatonormative and aphobic (soulmate AUs, ninety-nine out of a hundred, Hanahaki, even fake dating because it just kinda feels more realistic to me for an aro person to be looking for a fake partner to make the world shut up).

Obviously I don't want gay fanfiction to go away. God knows it's the only place we're getting our rep most of the time. It's just tiring to see it everywhere and so much. I feel inundated even in fandoms like Sanders Sides that are inherently romance- and sexless. Which isn't a bad thing. I'm not here to police what you write. I don't want you to stop writing things you enjoy, and I recognize that I belong to a very small percent of the population and most people think romance is really sweet, and sometimes it is. A well-written romance that starts as a friendship first is something I can enjoy, but usually not for the romance element. Just for the emotional intimacy and the support.

I might be inviting a lot of aphobia for this. I will block anyone who gives me shit. Unfortunately I have to say that given how many exclusionists seem to think I'm a psychopath (meaning the colloquial, non-clinical use of the term to mean someone who hurts people without emotion or empathy).

43. Basically anything that involves emotionally battering my characters? I'm also very, very, very, very veryveryveryvery fond of found family, but when actual legal adoption or the closest to legal adoption available are elements. Not just "oh, we're a misfit family that still call each other friends," like literally "this is my child/sibling/parent." No biological relation whatsoever and they couldn't care less. You are part of my plan and I will literally end the world to make you smile. That is my shit.

Also I'm going to get drawn and quartered for this but I kind of really enjoy miscommunication. It's fun to write characters being such dumpster fires they can't even communicate properly and then literally beat them into submission by making them deal with the consequences of their failures until they actually talk (AKA literally the entire MGTBW series).

[cmyknoise]

Dammek: Prospit - Blood. SIgn of the Cherished. This is interesting as you read on what these mean.

- “Bronze Signs have a warm and generous disposition, but you might not accuse them of it the first time you meet.” @ all yall who call him an horrible ‘evil’ asshole look. We just don’t know him yet. 

- “tendency toward being withdrawn and slow to open up with new people” SO yes, he is an ‘asshole’ (aren’t we all) but this may show that being stuck with Jude, we could see both sides.

- “come off as arrogant and cold” “think they are too good for everyone” “the reality couldn't be further from the truth” “they crave validation and companionship” “open-hearted, but if a Bronze Sign decides to dig their heels in, it can be like talking to a wall” this can give us some HEAVY personality hints on him, and this is true to our past loved troll, Tavros. But come on people, look, he just wants love. 

-”marked love of creature comforts. They crave stability and safety” Deercat. His over obsession of codes etc- saftey. He wants a stable life as much as he can have

-” As lovers they can be quite needy, wanting assurances that the affection they feel is reciprocated” [insert winky face here] stop drawing him as the ‘top’ in all your fan art- or at least stop making him like a badass okay- like he can do the ‘top’ thing. We need more him whining and begging for affection and love. 

-He’s a PROSPIT. “flexible optimism” “reactive and intuitive” “naturally exist in the present” “rely on gut instinct and whatever emotions they are experiencing at the moment.” “quick to act and reliable in a crisis, but it also can make them capricious” “trouble thinking things through” “solve problems with creativity rather than cold logic” “because they are so instinctual and flexible, they like having a defined set of rules-a safety net for their passionate lives” “Naturally trusting, they have trouble with deception or hiding their true selves, and will often worry about what others think of them. The self they project into the world is often not under their control.” Guys, he’s just a big self concious, nervous, high anxiety, deer boy, animal loving, over protective, needy, asshole of a bean. We haven’t even reached his aspect (this will be a long post) 

-He’s a Blood Player. (Who else was a blood player? Karkat. Who was an asshole that turned into a softy? Karkat) “draw their strength from bonds, from the trust and camaraderie that blooms among a group of people who all share a single vision” sound like the resistance anyone? He probably needs his bud, Xephros for moral support. You know yeah from what Xephros says he sounds like a huge dick, but true friendship, man do you constantly act like bitches and dicks to your best friend. AND THEY STILL LOVE YOU. That’s the point/

-” absolutely leaders, but they inhabit more of an inspirational role than a commanding one” cough cough

-”prophets, rather than generals, giving others the strength and motivation to keep fighting” remember? he looks up to Signless. 

-Also “Cherished.” guys. GUYS. THIS COULD BE A HINT

-There is A LOT more that gives a good idea on what this bean will be. More info >> http://hs.hiveswap.com/ezodiac/truesign.php?TS=Taurcer

NOW ON TO XEPHROS, OUR RUST BEAN

Xephros: Derse - Rage. “Sign of the Escapee”

-He is a rust blood. “Adventure motivates” “They crave new experiences, the wilder and farther-from-home, the better. They are confident and energetic, ready to face the unknown. This dynamism makes them great leaders, but it can also make them foolhardy. Often, they don't posses the level of caution they should for someone so willing to jump into new things.”

- “willingness to trust can get them into trouble, but they are also incredibly resilient” He can trust easy (Cough Joey)

-”heir ability to bounce back from trauma and injury leaves them as the toughest sign class on the spectrum” Anyone remember the end? The rock pile? He was ‘bleeding out’ for a long ass time.

- “make great friends and traveling companions, but they also can be selfish and quick to anger” Make great friends! Dammek and Joey! 

- “hey love the drama. They have incredibly high expectations for themselves and for romantic partners. If someone doesn't live up to these, they may deem them not worth their time.” Love for this bean may be hard. 

- “cycle of excitement, followed by crushed expectations, followed by a quick recovery and new flush of excitement. “

- He is a Derse Dreamer. “distinct and restless skepticism. Whatever their waking circumstances, chances are they will live in a state of dissatisfaction.” “Rebellion is in their blood, manifesting whether they are fighting back against a fascist dictatorship, or the most recent trend in casual footwear.” Uh the resistance, he’s like second in command. 

- “far better grasp on the landscape of their own minds than on the world around them, which they can find alienating and confusing” may make the constant maps a reason. He and dammek might constantly use them

- “ identity is built on control, they will do their utmost to hide any insecurities, often with false humility or self-deprecating humor” Hide insecurities....false humility...self-deprecating humor. We know little of his insecurities. He is very humble, could it be a lie? Has plenty of that humor

- “ inflexible and pessimistic, but they are also great problem solvers, facing conflicts head-on with shrewd, calculating minds “ guys. He isn’t this soft and smol bean you all think he is- like yes, he is, but he is tough. He can handle himself. He’s likely an equal to Dammek. 

- “see one true path among an infinite snarl of wrong ones” He could be a great help in the resistance guys like look at this shit. 

- “tend to be introverted, but if you win their trust Derse Dreamers are extremely powerful allies. However, they find sincere vulnerability difficult and will often keep people at arm's length. Letting go and living in the moment is hard for a Derse Dreamer; they constantly look toward the future and analyze the past.”  This could be a problem later, maybe some character and plot archs? 

-Finally, he is a rage player. (Like Gamzee....lets hope he doesn’t make his ability to bend spoons the ability to do worse) 

-” bringers of chaos “ uh oh

- “posses great contempt for lies or false ideas, including the stability that false ideas can impart. To them, the true is far more important than the good; they would tear down a system just to destabilize it if, by their reckoning, it is built on faulty premises” Doesn’t like lies. do not lie to him. 

- “refer anarchy to any of the alternate forms of civilization, which they believe to be riddled with lies and foolishness and obedient masses” i mean they don’t like the hierarchy, could they be striving for anarchy?

- “bringers of confusion and doubt, and they can be frustratingly difficult to convince otherwise when they have attached themselves to an idea”

-Guys, there is A LOT more >> http://hs.hiveswap.com/ezodiac/truesign.php?TS=Ariborn

Please don’t say that this stuff IS NOT AT ALL TRUE, because yes, it isn’t going to be 100%. But remember, this isnt just generalizing their colors or anything. This IS THEIR SIGNS. This IS THEIR PERSONALITY TYPES. 

For the aspects, this isn’t something that defines them, but rather should be a challenge.

Yes, aspects do have traits that you may share- ugh just

I am going to link a post that may help, they deserve credit !! http://hiccop.tumblr.com/post/168011316870/everyone-mad-their-aspect-doesnt-match-in (if you don’t want this here, i apologize, ask and i can take this down) 

That better explains it.

Guys PLEASE SPREAD. This is fun info that could help people when writing fanfic or even when drawing them, giving them personalities, situations, etc.

Plus its fun information!