#oh and i'm not allowed to like genuinely not want to be around and dislike people after them torturing me for over a year

[slimyenemy]

chat i love them sm

[darkestspring]

Please make a Part 3 but more Jace & reader centric but of course yandere Aegon and yandere Rhaenyra need to be there 😊

Jace was so different to anyone you had ever met, it shouldn't surprise you really. Jace had kind, he'd been respectful, and he'd indulged all of your rambling. it was more than anything anyone had done for you, other than aegon but that was different, aegon was your brother, jace was... you weren't sure what jace was.

No one had mentioned your marriage to jace since it had been official that your marriage to aemond was dissolved. You felt oddly disappointed about it but you spent most of your time with Jace, taking walks, eating together, going on dragon rides.

You liked with being jace.

"Sweet girl, are you doing well?" Rhaenyra was braiding your hair softly, she had dismissed the maid after you had been dressed, insisting she could help you from there on.

Your cheeks flushed red as you thought about her question. "Yes, I'm doing well, Sister."

"Mmmm, I'm glad Jace is treating you well." She said, just to see your reaction and she was disappointed as your cheeks flushed red.

She can come to realize that you were the opposite of how she was at your age, you didn't seem to have a lick of rebellion in your body. Even when you were made to marry Aemond, someone you didn't love and didn't want to marry, you still did. She wished you'd be a little rebellious. Even now, you had no protests about marrying someone you were only just starting to get to know.

"SIster, I am always in your corner. If you don't like something, just say it. I will get rid of everything you don't like." Rhaenyra reassured you, rubbing your back softly.

Tears pricked your eyes. "I..." You trailed off, unsure if you should say this. "Actually, I never wanted to marry Aemond but mother scared me. I... hated every second I spent around him but I still tried my hardest to love him. Every second I knew of his visits to the brothel, I wanted to tear all of his things to shreds."

It made you feel bad to admit this, you had hated every second of being married to Aemond, the agonizing loneliness paired horribly with the terror you felt at the prospect to voicing your dislike to Aemond who would say something to your mother. So, you swallowed everything and took all of the insults with a smile.

Having your mother call you a good girl for ignoring everything your husband was doing and taking all of the unfair insults with a smile made you feel sick. You wanted to scream at the unfairness.

"Why?" You sobbed into your hands. "Why did i have to hear insults about how inadequate I must be as a wife when he was the one going to that- that stupid brothel!" You wailed and Rhaenyra knew what hate felt like but she had never hated anyone as much as Aemond.

That stupid boy.

She locked eyes with Jace and she beckoned him forward slowly, knowing he had heard all of that.

"It's not your fault." Jace's voice shook you out of your stupor and your cheeks were red in embarrassment and you stood up.

"I-! I didn't hear you, I shouldn't have-" You stammered out in response, feeling embarrassed at letting the person that held your affections see you like this.

"There's no shame in crying, none of that was your fault. Aemond is stupid for not seeing how wonderful you are. You're kind and thoughtful and passionate." Jace took your hand in his. "If I was your husband, I'd never even think of anyone else. You're... like an angel."

Your cheeks flushed more. "Oh."

You had wanted to hear this for so long, at least one person genuinely comforting you.

"I will never think of anyone else but you. If you allow me to, I will always be by your side, helping you, loving you. You're the most wonderful person I know. If you still want to, I would love to be your husband."

Your tears returned but they were of happiness this time. "Really?" The first time it had been a reluctant affair, neither of you really wanting it but you were too scared to go against your mother but this time, you were really happy. "Yes!" You beamed up at him.

Rhaenyra smiled, she could finally show you the wedding planner she had been storing for the past few weeks.

[chemblrish]

Hey Lena, any tips for how to make friends in uni as a nerdy but introverted/socially anxious girlie? 🥺 thank youu

Hi!

I need you to know I saw this ask and immediately thought, "Did I just get a message from my past self?" 😅 Nerdy and introverted? Check. Used to have very bad social anxiety? Check. I was in therapy though and it was immensely helpful! I'm still a little shy but doing incomparably better, so I can tell you what I've learnt and hopefully some of it can help you too :)

Excuse the language, but first of all, you need to give yourself a fucking break. Shy people, we tend to fixate on ourselves: our looks, our posture, on whether what we just said was weird, and so, all our flaws (both real and imaginary) appear magnified tenfold - but only to us. Because truth is, nobody else is judging you half as harshly as you're judging yourself. Nobody is analyzing all your jokes or the way you walk. If you trip or say something awkward, it genuinely doesn't matter. It happens to everybody sometimes, it's okay. Remember that there's nothing wrong with you. Maybe you're shy, maybe you're easily overwhelmed, maybe you have very little experience making friends - but none of these make you inherently weird. So give yourself a break. You're sincerely doing a lot better than you think, I promise.

Small talk is actually not a bad thing, no matter what some edgelords may try to tell you. I used to spark up a lot of conversations early on in uni by bringing up things like the last test (because most of the time I'd get a mildly pained sigh in response and then we'd bond over how hard it was and how the professor was crazy lol) or the upcoming lab class ("Any interesting exercises in your schedule?") or how my commute to uni that day wrecked me and hey are you a commuter? Oh, you live in a dorm, how do you like it? And many other things of this sort, because if you think about it, uni is a neverending source of conversation topics when you're a student talking to another student.

You know how shy people are advised to just ask questions because everybody loves talking about themselves? That's not a bad advice. The trick is to be genuinely curious about other people. Don't ask just to say something, ask to hear what that other person has to say. This is helpful for two reasons: it takes the focus away from you (which is exactly where shy people shouldn't keep it) by directing it at the other person, and it actually helps to keep the conversation going, because it allows you to find either another thing that might interest you about that person or something to share about yourself.

Maybe it's obvious, but don't hide yourself. I know it's a lot easier to just curl up in a corner with your phone, but you gotta put yourself out there. Hang out with the rest of your course mates outside the lecture hall as you're all waiting for the professor. Take your time packing up afterwards instead of dashing straight for the exit. Don't look for that secluded spot where you can hide safely with a book (even though your introvert instinct tells you to do just that), be where the other students hang out.

Sometimes you have to keep choosing someone. Storytime with a moral: I took a liking to one of my current friends very early in the first semester. She seemed like exactly the kind of person I wanted to stick with in uni. I'd always come up to her and talk to her first but she hardly ever did the same. For some time I'd think, "Welp, clearly she doesn't dislike me, but she doesn't seem to like me much either." Now I can't even remember when that changed, but in an honest conversation we had maybe last month (so after almost two years of knowing each other!!), she told me she often struggles with figuring out whether someone likes her and wants her around or not, so she usually just stays away. You aren't the only introvert out there. Maybe the person you're trying to befriend is also a little anxious and needs a bit more time and effort from you. Don't give up too easily!

Not all people are your people and that's okay. You'll find that trying to talk to someone continuously feels like a chore no matter your good intentions. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with you or with them. Everybody can't click with everybody and that's fine!

And lastly: "different friends for different things" is a liberating philosophy. Maybe there's this one person in this one class that you always sit with and get along with well, but it doesn't seem like either of you wants to take it any further than that. Cool! That's your buddy X from Y class. Not everyone has to be your bestie who knows all your secrets and shares all your interests. Be open to the concept of casual friends, so that you don't miss out on the more meaningful relationships by chasing someone who's just not feelin' it if you know what I mean.

Good luck my fellow introvert. Remember getting better at making friends is a process but also a skill that can be practiced and polished. You got this, I'm rooting for you!

[dirtbag-dyke-hypnotist]

Introductions are in order, I suppose.

Lore, (Dr.) Adrastea, and Percy are our names. Lore is preferred, but we will tell you which to use if needed.

21, genderweird, plural, kinky bi/ace domme, @spiraleyedlore is my main.

Minors dni, cis man doms you aint wanted here.

Everything you see here is fantasy. I will be posting some very intense stuff here, but let it be known it doesn't reflect my real political or philosophical beliefs. If it still pisses you off, you might be the problem, not me. Every post is also from the perspective of Me as the domme, unless i actively say otherwise. Make sure you read everything here before dming me.

Don't fucking add extra "oh this is totally me" shit to my original posts (and id prefer if you didnt do it in general tbh). Its about Me, not you. And don't fuckin call Me titles out of the blue, you may call Me a title once you've earned it, with the only exception being Goddess. If you read this, tell me your regular drink order when you go to a cafe.

Now that pet peeves and general stuff is out of the way, kink likes and dislikes are under the cut. Keep in mind, this list is always updating and being elaborated on.

Obsessed:

Hypnosis, mind control, possession (as in ghost stuff), memory play, worship, personality play

Love em:

Drone stuff, tech control, genderplay, orientation play (esp just altering peoples sexuality to be just Me), forcefem/forcemasc, ego death and rewriting, hypnotized service (making people draw or write or do other things for me), cnc, intox (weed or alcohol, though i am open to other things!), dollification

Like em:

detrans (never permanent), rapeplay, fauxcest (esp sister stuff), cuck, findom, bimboification, boot stuff, emotional sadism, dombreaking

Occasionally in the mood (ask before engaging in it)

physical sadism, possessiveness (needs to be close, genuine, and im allowed to act on it partly, not just a scene thing), petplay, ageplay, mommy kink, vore, musk/scent kink, class play

Not into it:

feet, breeding, pregnancy, feeder/feedee, extreme inflation/extremely large parts, actual incest kink

Dont bring it up around me (i might block you if your posting this, nothing personal. this isnt a dni)

hdg aka human domestication guide (for personal association reasons), sissy anything, eating disorder kinks, watersports, scat, ab/dl, raceplay, real sexism and transphobia, b*mb* sl**p

Ask me to tag stuff!! If you want me to tag a certain kink I regularly post, ask or dm me and I will try my best to tag it. Also, if I have you blocked on my main but you wish to be unblocked, send an anon with your blog you want unblocked, and I might unblock it if I'm feeling merciful~

I use a modified stoplight system for check ins during scenes. I will either ask directly, or use a stoplight emoji to ask how you are feeling! If you aren't familiar with it, green means continue on, yellow means to take a minute and check in/slow down, and red means to stop completely. I will always respect these, no matter how intense the scene is. I also use blue, which you can use if you like the specific thing I am doing and want more. If you read this far, tell me a fun fact when you first dm me. Never be afraid to use these in scene, I would rather know you are comfortable during the scene.

Remember that kink isn't reality. I am still a person behind this screen, and you are too. I will play an exaggerated version of ourself here, and let my most controversial kinks be known. I try to be safe with my kink play, but I practice RACK and know that some kinks may come with inherent risks.

Final rules! Be respectful, don't lie to me (if you break my trust im not fuckin with you anymore), and don't be an actual bigot. Now go have some fun, n get a little bit Worse for Me~

[ayeliiss]

My two cents on MHA430 and Izuku's character

Disclaimer: this is NOT a hate post against Horikoshi and his manga. Simply, I need to lash my disappointment out somewhere and write my feelings down before I implode. I'm not trying to sound like 'ugh, I know better than them' at all, although I am aware some of my claims may give the 'why does the author think he knows so much?!' vibes, but keep in mind this is just my irrelevant opinion and it won't change anything anyway. So, please, don't come at me with 'lacking reading comprehension' or 'you're coping' (yes, I am) because I feel like fans are allowed to be upset at this ending even if you think differently! To each their own opinion, as long as it's respectful! Also, this might be unnecessarily long so, I apologize in advance.

Discussion about Izuku's character

First of all, if you're satisfied with the ending and what Izuku did/became, I'm genuinely happy for you. Truthfully, I envy you so damn much because I personally couldn't stop feeling empty and crying at night for him, and before you come at me with 'girl, he's fictional, it's okay you'll move on', yes, I know I'm a drama queen and I shouldn't be in one hell of a state for a fictional character, but I can't help it. I've grown as attached to him as I've ever grown to any character before, and there's no turning back. MHA is the first manga that ever moved me this hard and it'll forever remain a masterpiece for me, but it doesn't mean it's not flawed and should be free of criticism (always with respect for Horikoshi's work).

Funny thing is, I didn't even like Izuku when I first met him. He was the typical crybaby and too-optimistic MC I tend to dislike when I read a manga. Yet, the more I read, the more I started to understand him, the more I sympathized with him, and the more I loved him. I realized I related to him to such an outlandish extent, though I know we remain different in the way we act or think. But Izuku, even before Katsuki (and my friends know how obsessed I am with this blond lmao), became my first and greatest over-fixation and my main reason to continue reading/watching MHA. This manga changed my life; Izuku did too, and this isn't an understatement.

Just like him—and probably just like many of us—, I've endured bullying, been made fun of for being different, felt unwanted and hated, been belittled, and treated like shit for most of my teenage years. I think that's what really endeared him to me. I wanted to watch him grow, to watch him make real friends, to watch him receive the apologies and respect he deserved, to see him succeed. I wanted him to realize he was worth it and loved and, oh God, I wish he could know just how much his fans do love him.

And for 200+ chapters, I got what I wanted. Izuku got to live his dream, be around his idol who recognized him, and made new friends who admired him and wanted nothing but to be by his side. Then, the Vigilante arc happened, and everything changed. I won't dwell on the fact that, for me, this arc was the beginning of the decline of his character. It's worth noting though that it's at this precise moment that we've lost track of all his thoughts, but I'll focus on the ending, and how the way Horikoshi handled Izuku's character remains my biggest disappointment.

I sometimes joked with a friend of mine, saying, "Hori's favorite character is Katsuki and it shows so much, he even forgets he isn't his MC!" but I don't think it's much of a joke anymore.

Again, I'm very happy for those who are pleased with Izuku's closure. But, honestly, I can't grasp their process of thinking (I wish I could) because there's no way I can understand how it makes sense. It's not about him being quirkless—actually, I think this choice was cool—, it's about his obvious fucking depression.

After his initial withdrawal, there is never any resolution. He has never talked about his feelings to anyone, never opened up about all the things that bugged him, never taken it out on anyone. He just stopped having development, and never learned how to 'control his heart' (one of the biggest plots of the story, remember???). So, he continues to take everything up on his shoulders by the end of the story, and eight years later, he is feeling lonely, as he says himself:

Yes, I can read, and I know he's also saying he's happy with helping/encouraging other people. But it's literally denial. Izuku is in denial and it hurts me so much. He's alone (I'm not talking about how he's barely seen his friends, I know they didn't abandon him or anything, I'm talking about how he is feeling in general), deprived of his dream, and never got to talk about it to anyone (at least, on-screen. And if it's not shown, then it didn't happen). Even the adults around him don't see he's in pain—or, at least, don't think it's worth addressing. Aizawa can't even simply answer 'yes, you're cool' when Izuku obviously seeks praise and needs nice words after everything he's been through. He doesn't even get fans (except for two, waouh!) after saving the fucking world. He doesn't get a statue, no recognition. Katsuki leads a project for him to get a suit, but not the government? After everything he did? Why isn't he more recognized and acknowledged for his hard work? Killing him would've almost felt like a better choice lol (#it's a joke).

Even if, in the end, he gets to join his friends again and be a hero with them, he's still not opening up. How is it sane/healthy for him???? How will he even be able to maintain good relationships of any kind if there are already so many and huge miscommunication issues?

I hate this—I dislike how it's basically saying 'his feelings weren't that important!'. Izuku deserved better, a better closure. So much is missing from him; from this bitter ending, and I can't find any way to make myself feel better or to cope with it.

I am devastated, I feel empty for him, I just want someone to take him to therapy, to help him.

Some rumors have started to spread, about how 'Horikoshi has been forced to shorten his manga' but I don't believe this—MHA has been SJ's money-maker for a while. And even if it were to be true, the epilogue could've been handled differently. Hori could've focused on the most important parts (that he hasn't even shown/resolved at all) and left the irrelevant ones out (why introduce a new character if not to make us feel hopeful to see Tenko again, lol). He chose to not address the most important aspects of his story (including his MC's resolution and growth) and left us with huge plot holes. And now, we're stuck with our imagination, as usual.

I just can't with 'open endings' and 'it's left to interpretation' stuff. It's too easy to do that. I'm tired of mangakas not taking risks, rushing their own plots, and not digging deeper into their own MCs' traumas. I don't know what happened, but among the many issues left regarding this last chapter, Izuku's conclusion remains my greatest ick. I'm so sorry to say this, but Izuku didn't grow. He never learned from his mistakes and just didn't change—oh wait. Yes, he did change on one crucial aspect—his biggest trait, being obsessed with his childhood friend, totally disappeared! Maybe he started to stop caring about 'Kacchan and the others' and put himself first, to the point of forgetting the said childhood friend died twice for him, who knows? :))) (yeah, I'm especially pissed off at this lol don't mind me).

In my imagination, I see him being a pro-hero who continues to suppress his feelings and continues to act recklessly, to risk his life in the face of any danger that shows up. This is what happens when you leave it to fans' imagination, after all.

I know fanfictions exist, and I'm very happy this unclear ending motivated some writers to challenge their creativity. For me, it had the opposite effect. I'm disgusted, I am angry at Izuku and I know I'll struggle to finish my fics where he's involved because I don't want to deal with his character anymore. I'm too attached to canonical representation.

Man, I'm just devastated. I have no other words. And I'll have to live with this for the rest of my life. I feel betrayed. Shitted on. I'm dying inside and there's nothing I can do because it's over. Just like this long-ass essay, btw lol. Thank you if you're still here, thank you if you've read this! I'm pretty much open to discussion so if anyone wants to try and reassure me over some aspects or respectfully explain why I am wrong (I know I probably am, yet again those are my own feelings), please don't hesitate to do so. Also, I definitely need friends with whom I could talk about this deeper... so, my DMs are open too if you'd like to!

Much love to Izuku though; one of the best MCs I've encountered in my life, despite how he turned.

[otomes-and-tears]

i am also glad that you’re a shiloh analysis scholar <333 too many people hate the funniest (and saddest) parts of him!! what do you think of shiloh’s relationship with bae, pran and/or lizzie? i’d like to think he’s being genuine on some level when it comes to liking/disliking them but you never know with that snake :((((

Speculating on Shiloh's true opinions on people is basically as hard as speculating on anything else about him. But I'm here to be delusional so let me put my tinfoil hat on! I'll probably make a full post on him and Elizabeth later because I have a lot of thoughts on that and want some screenshots to accompany them. I'll start with the easiest one: I think he genuinely dislikes Pran, but kind of plays it up. Pran isn't exactly the easiest person to get along with. He isn't popular, so I don't think Shiloh will get any flack for talking shit about him from anyone he thinks matters. Hence, it's the reason why he allows himself to be a hater for once and actually say what he thinks, but he also has an incentive to play up his dislike of him. In Our Life, you can see kid Shiloh kind of identifying Cove as the kid on the bottom of the food chain and making efforts to keep him there, both by altering his behaviour to ensure that he's solidly in Lizzie's good graces (who he sees as a leader) and not making much of an effort do endear Cove to him. I feel like his behaviour towards Pran is much like his childish attempts to social climb-- by playing up his dislike towards Pran, someone he knows doesn't have an interest in the school's social hierarchy and is uninterested in fighting back, he can push him down to appear as someone with a higher standing. I also think that on Pran's route, Shiloh is trying to be a homewrecker AUSHAUS He flirts with JB a lot and is the one most opposed to her and Pran's relationship, even going as far as to continue doing her favours to try and win her over-- and basically, the main reason Shiloh is even interested in JB in the first place is that she's the only girl in the Jerksquad and the person all of them are interested in, at least to some degree. He's so focused on the way he's perceived he'll go to these lengths to get one over people he dislikes. But Shiloh's distaste is also quite natural, I think. The game establishes numerous times that Pran and Shiloh are polar opposites in every conceivable way: Shiloh is bubbly, extroverted and talkative while Pran is quiet, uninvolved and introverted. Pran's backstory is rooted in severe neglect and being so conflict-averse that he'd do anything to try to please both his grandparents and his parents, who were often on opposite sides, only to end up pleasing no one. Later in life, he adopts his contrarian attitude because he simply sees no point in making an effort if it's going to be futile anyway. Shiloh, however, is the complete opposite of that: He lies and manipulates others for his own benefit, he thrives on the attention from others. He feigns concern about them when he actually doesn't care at all. Pran is frustrating to him because he's so fundamentally disinterested in whatever Shiloh can offer him that he's unmanipulatable. It's one, tiny way that Shiloh isn't in control.

Regarding Bae, I don't know if Shiloh likes having him around, but he can certainly benefit from him. And Bae is a predictable enough person that he finds a lot of comfort in their dynamic! Bae is rich, he doesn't have any friends in school-- and isn't interested in connecting with anyone, so isn't someone likely to spread any rumours about Shiloh. Bae wants to be perceived as someone mature and oh so above all the other high schoolers he's surrounded by, so it's a very simple desire to cater to, and he's a lazy wimp that's fairly easy to locate after-hours. Get on his good graces and you might get some help with academics, and he can spin becoming roommates with Bae as an act of kindness on his part, so he can appear to be a magnanimous, patient guy.

I like to think that he grows to, at the very least, genuinely look forward to spending time with him after they spend enough time together. Their Karaoke scenes are so cute I want to believe that at least part of him isn't pretending to have fun in them...

[c-is-for-circinate]

MCU Rewatch #3: THOR (2011)

General Impressions: I'm allowed to like this one for reasons unrelated to objective quality! I'm also allowed to dislike it for same!

Thor does a good job at a bunch of things. It manages to really succinctly outline what Asgard's deal is, who the major players are, and how this complete fantasy world works, while remaining in the context of a two-hour movie that mostly doesn't even take place there. It's very funny in places! It's not at all a deep movie, but it's entertaining and fantastical and that's fun. This is -- and was! -- the perfect movie to watch in a cold movie theater during a hot summer, munching popcorn and explosions, and that's a perfectly valid thing to be.

Anyway, for me the best parts and the worst parts of this movie were the same, ie Loki. We'll get there -- he was by far the most complex part of this really quite simple film, and that has its plusses and minuses!

All in all, there's nothing wrong with a simple film, and for the most part that's what I'll say about Thor: it was a simple film with good fight scenes, and nothing much was wrong with it.

OH. Except the sound balancing/editing. That was absolutely criminal and whoever was in charge of sound design for this movie should be shot, not just for their crimes here but for the many years of emulation to come.

The Hero: Like the movie, simple but endearing, with a genuine heart.

Thor is definitely not as compelling as Tony Stark, but he's likeable, and his emotional arc is definitely both present and the most genuine part of this movie. In a lot of ways, what we see here is that Thor is a big kid. He makes decisions without thinking about consequences. He does not bother to try and read a room. He's arrogant in a way that reflects his position, but he's also arrogant in a way that suggests he hasn't considered his position -- having his powers, hammer, and home taken away from him is a shock because he's never thought about the fact that he had them in the first place. Getting sent to Earth is more or less a boy being grounded by his father to try and teach him responsibility. Thor is almost a coming-of-age movie, except that it never quite feels like Thor actually gets there -- he's better, by the end, but not quite a man standing on his own two feet just yet. Breaking the Bifrost is a sacrifice on his part, not a decision carrying the weight of the responsibilities Thor will have as an adult and future king.

That said, I really enjoyed the sincerity of his confusion and grief over being told Odin was dead. He's a hurt little kid, asking his brother if please, can I go home. The scene with Selvig in the bar is one of the best in the movie, with Thor admitting vulnerability and doubt and regret over how he left things with his father. (And again, telling that all of these are feelings about his dad, with a man old enough to be a dad/granddad, and that's the energy Thor needs to lean on right now -- Selvig, not Jane, gets Thor's emotional breakthrough moments, because Thor is a tall handsome child who hasn't grown past needing a parent.)

Also, I vaguely remember some fan back-and-forth about whether Thor is kind of dumb, or very smart but trolling, or very smart and just ignorant of local customs. Upon rewatch, Thor may or may not be smart, but he doesn't particularly care. He does shit on Earth because he doesn't care enough to pay attention to whether it's appropriate. Nobody else is smashing coffee mugs, and the diner is totally lacking in raucous celebratory energy, but Thor wants to be raucous and celebrate, so he's going to do so whether it's appropriate or not. Doesn't matter that he's been driven around in cars his whole time on Earth, he doesn't spend thirty seconds to think about what might be appropriate travel, he's going to make assumptions. This is more of that self-centered teenager logic, where he doesn't bother to try and think about the existence of points of view outside his own.

The Villain: If I end up having Loki Feels by the end of this marathon I'm going to stab something. I refuse.

Anyway, Loki was the most complex part of this really quite simple film, which has good and bad sides! I can and will be objective about how well/poorly that complexity was rendered, but sitting here thirteen years after this movie came out, I can admit it: I really fucking hate the Evil Adopted Kid trope. It's a shitty trope and I don't like it, for personal reasons, and that is always going to color my experience with Loki in any movie where he shows up

That aside, Loki's actual motivations and plans in this movie were baffling and kind of a mess. The problem is that Loki is a complex character, with a lot of doubts, full of love and jealousy and insecurity and pride, but we very rarely get to see him from the inside. It feels like the movie was really invested in surprising people with the end twist of Loki killing Laufey in front of Odin, revealing that actually he was on Asgard's side all along! and does not hate his family! So therefore, for the movie before that, we had to be witness to everyone else's doubts about him and only seeing his actions from the outside, to keep that a surprise. I can see how it'd be effective on a first watch, when the suspense of 'what is this guy going to do and what side is he on?' can pull a viewer through the movie. On a rewatch, knowing what Loki's ultimate deal is, it just feels confusing and inconsistent. What exactly was your plan for when your dad woke up, Loki? Did you actually intend to leave Thor on Earth forever? Were you or were you not actually hoping to kill your brother? What the fuck was your endgame here?

I think there is probably a very interesting story here where Loki's plans seem muddled because he's muddled, awash with emotions and doubts and the inner conflict between love of his brother, twisting jealousy, the objective truth that Thor would be a terrible king, and the fact that Loki, like Thor, is also still very much a grown-up kid. He's making dumb decisions by the seat of his pants and his motivations are contradictory and messy. That tracks, with what we see, but we don't get to see that because this movie is too invested in its twist and its simplicity. Allowing Loki the time and space to be this complicated would steal the entire show from his simpler, genuine brother, and because the movie itself wanted to be simple and straightforward, there wasn't room to hold the layers of its complicated villain. No wonder the Tumblr girlies went wild for him.

The Ensemble: Weak romantic lead with an A+ comic sidekick, hobbled by needing to run two casts at once.

I think this is where we really see Thor suffer from the problem of having to establish two casts at the same time. The New Mexico side of the equation, Jane and Selvig and Darcy, simply doesn't get time for character development. We know next to nothing about Jane, except that she cares about her research and once dated a doctor. Why this research? How did she get into it? How long has she been in New Mexico? What university does she even work for??? It's true that we don't get a lot of details about, say, Pepper's backstory, but it doesn't matter because we understand from the very beginning how she fits into her life and also Tony's life. Jane is a brief three-day whirlwind in Thor's existence, and that's not enough time for him or us to understand who she is or why we should love her. It feels like the movie went through the motions of having a Lady Love Interest, and it doesn't work out great.

Darcy and Selvig actually fare better, simply because there's less need for them to be more than they are. All we know about Darcy is that she's a polisci major who's working a summer internship way outside of her field, but we don't need to know more -- she's there to be fucking hilarious and indeed she is. Selvig is there to help facilitate Jane's choices and Thor's emotional development, and he does his job well.

The Asgardians have a similar problem. Thor's four friends are basically interchangeable (Sif's only notable distinction being that she's a girl). Thor's mom...shows up? We get the impression that there's more going on with Odin than we've seen, but I wonder if some of that is just me remembering Ragnarok -- either way, given that Odin is literally in a coma for 3/4 of this movie, it doesn't mean much. Heimdall probably has more characterization than anyone else in Asgard other than Loki, and that is...not a lot.

It's a lot of just not very much, across the board.

The Franchise: We're already seeing the formula start to get built and tested in the moviemaking labs.

It's fascinating watching Thor on screen directly after two back-to-back movies of Tony Stark, because Thor has some of Tony's same growth arc with none of his fascinating complexity. On the surface they've got the same vague sketched outline: careless, self-involved privileged prettyboy must learn to think outside himself and care for others to become a hero. Thor takes that plotline in a very different direction, which means the movie doesn't feel same-y, but a more cynical viewer might wish to speculate about what boardroom or producer's office suggested that the writing team follow that.

I think Thor actually does better about wasting time trying to set up the future of the franchise. We don't spend a ton of time on Coulson and Hawkeye here -- if we watched this movie with no idea who they were or that they were here to set up anything at all, they'd function fine as Generic Government People (with an inexplicable thing for archery). I think the place where the setting-up hits worst, actually, might be with Loki: he needs to be complex and sympathetic enough to be interesting as the main villain of Avengers, but we can't resolve anything about him before that. (Not sure how far they'd planned the plot of Avengers at this point in the production run, but I wouldn't be surprised if they'd already called him as their bad guy.)

Thinking about the big thematic MCU premise of a superhero world without secret identities -- the choice of Thor as our next hero in the franchise, somebody who neither has nor needed a secret identity to begin with, is clever there. They're not going back on the freedom from overworked secret identity bullshit that they've promised, but they're also not stuck making a second movie about the lack of them, which would just end up looking like a retread of IM2. The secrets we do find here are all kept by SHIELD, which is clearly trying to keep superhero stuff in, and just as clearly is not managing it. (Loki also has a secret identity, with his discovery of his Jotunn heritage...hmm, much to think about there for the future.)

We pretty much lose all themes around the military-industrial complex here, and the movie is probably the better for it, considering what a hash IM2 made of the subject.

VERDICT: A breezy, light 6/10

Thor is in every respect a perfectly fine movie. It's simple, it's straightforward, it manages to do a bunch of things and establish a brand new fantasy setting without actually putting much depth into any of them.

I suspect that, as I get further on in this franchise, 'perfectly fine and no great flaws' is going to be the verdict on a lot of these movies, and I'm going to start dropping my number rating lower and lower every time something shows up that's simply fine. For now, with the context of only IM1 and 2, 'does light summer adventure flick competently with some sincerity and doesn't fuck it up' feels like an improvement over IM2's messiness, so that's where I'm rating it.

Except for the sound design. Anyone who thinks their battle sequences need sound effects roughly 800% of a standard dialogue scene should be forced to watch their own movies with the sound on a pair of unremovable headphones set to a flat however-loud-it-needs-to-be-to-hear-people-talking. Perhaps, after the deafness ensues, they will change fucking careers.

[flowerwiththemachinegun]

I was trying to come up with realistic dysfunctional cringefail dating the turks scenarios to amuse myself in order to fall asleep (and it escalated to Rude who imo is the ex husband always trying to one you up in front of the kids by doing grand gestures and actually being there for them even tho that pisses you off cause you’re divorced now) AND then I tried to imagine Tseng as a parent or something and I think I short circuited cause the most I can see him doing is paying for the abortion,,,,, yk if he REALLY likes you, my question is WHAT IS YOUR STANCE ON THIS 🎤 (sorry if my English is incomprehensible I am in fact half asleep)

(sorry it took a bit to get to this, had to get to work) I love this and thank you for this interesting ask. So, I personally don't have a single maternal bone in my body and I'm probably going to project the distaste of having my own kids onto Tseng. (Also your English is fine, mine is usually trash no matter how rested I am)

I feel like, for Reno and Rude, they would both be the parents to go out of their way to show you up. I also feel as though they would go out of their way to fuck with any new relationship. Like you think you’re gonna have someone else taking a parental role in their child’s life? No way. Lol, good luck. Definitely the cool parents but these two can probably lack any disciplinary skills. So when they come back acting like spoiled brats from a weekend with their dad, don’t be surprised. Definitely lets their kid get away with a lot, but they’ll step in when it’s notably a negative thing. I think co-parenting would be more stable with Rude vs Reno. I super doubt Reno would be a very toxic baby daddy or anything, but he’s far more stubborn. Like I can’t imagine one could be mad at these guys for doing what they’re supposed to for their child, but I guess I can understand being constantly one upped and finding it annoying? But they’re going to make it clear to you how important it is for them to be in their child’s life and will never give up getting you to see this point. It took the two of you to create the little fella, they firmly believe both parents are a requirement. It doesn’t matter how you guys fell out, they’re gonna stick around. Going back to the thing about them not allowing you to have any successful relationships? Like….i do think that these guys would still fully fuck whoever they have kids with SORRY but not really. A little divorce means nothing and loyalty is something near and dear to their heart so don’t be surprised if they’re too whipped to let go?

Now Tseng? Oh god, I have a hard time imagining him as a father unless it’s post-Advent Children. (I have a couple of views for this) Otherwise….LMAO HE’S DEFINITELY PAYING FOR THAT ABORTION…I think he’d be insistent and very negative about having a child while he’s so heavily involved with Shinra the way he is before Advent Children. I don’t think he’d be able to spare room in his heart for a kid at this time and would see it as more of a burden and a distraction that he won’t really be able to take care of. I don’t think it’s the general dislike for having children. I just believe everything in his being thinks he shouldn’t have kids in the first place, probably wouldn’t give it much thought until he’s faced with a pregnancy situation. Doesn’t have the time to spare to figure out parenting and probably wouldn’t want to have a kid because that’s easy leverage too. I think there’s a LOT of reasons Tseng wouldn’t want a throughout CC and 7’s timeline. If he really cannot get you to agree to terminating the pregnancy I think he’d still have something to do with the kid in a couple of aspects. Mostly sending money for things that’s needed and if you desperately need a break and he manages to find the time away from work, but at this time he isn’t going to prioritize the both of you outside of actions he can preform that are quick and keep him at a distance. I think there genuinely would be emotion there but he’s constantly hiding it and acting like he doesn’t give a fuck to the point you can’t help but believe it. Just does what he’s required for this time. But for Advent Children Tseng? He’d give a fuck, he’s probably going to be similar to Reno and Rude just more closed off and he’s definitely not entirely the cool parent but from time to time he’ll spoil and let his kids indulge in whatever they want.

Dare I add….Rufus to this list? 😂😂😂😂GUESS WHO’S FIGHTING FOR FULL CUSTODY!!!!! RUFUUUUSSSSSSSS!!!! This will be the most toxic fucking guy out of all of them. Rufus is not mentally prepared to raise a child realistically but he doesn’t want his child to be raised in a lesser environment. Mr. Gets Full Custody But Doesn’t Know How To Raise A Kid. Expect him to call you about every little problem. You’re certainly not going to be able to start a new relationship with this one as the father. He’s certainly not having some common trash you picked up walking on the streets of Midgar around his child (at least that’s how he would put it probably). Mind you, he didn’t think full custody over properly. He’s gotta be a busy fucking guy so full custody makes zero sense anyways but he’s stupid and wants to get his way so bad, even when it comes to the kids, even if it means sometimes having negative effects on their child’s mental. Wants to not be like own father and it’s another reason he tries so hard and tries to do a lot of things without your help even though he knows he needs you, once again it’s one of those things that can make the kid suffer.

[aishangotome]

Alfons Sylvatica: Chapter 18 His POV

Chapter 18

♡———♡

Alfons: …I’m not going to be a part of this damn sob story anymore.

He slipped out of bed and got dressed - it would be troublesome to stay in the castle and run into her.

(If I remember correctly, there's supposed to be a wild party for those eccentric nobles today.)

He didn't particularly want to go, but it was a good way to kill time.

-

Alfons: Now, what shall we bet on next?

Drunk Young Man: Alright! It's my dad's prized possession, though I don't really know what it is, this oil painting!

Beautiful Woman in Men's Clothing: Did you steal it? Vincent...who is that? I don't know him. It's probably not worth much.

Alfons: Hehe, it's not like you to care about the value of the bet.

Beautiful Woman in Men's Clothing: It won't be exciting unless it's something valuable.

Alfons: Then...shall we let everyone dream that "this painting is worth 500 pounds"?

Young Man with Cigar: Oh, that's a good idea, let's do it.

The nobles are not much different from the drunks in the back alley bars or the orphans in the East End.

Whether it's gambling, alcohol, or sex, they live their lives by distracting themselves from pain and suffering with any kind of entertainment.

Drunk Aristocrat: Hey Alf, is the rumor true that you've found a new favorite?

Lady in Gloves: It's absolutely not allowed for Al to belong to anyone! He has to remain the star of unmarried nobles.

Alfons: Yes, yes, I won't belong to anyone.

Drunk Aristocrat: You say that, but your heart already belongs to that person, doesn't it?

Alfons: ......

Alfons: ...Hehe, no way.

Young Man with Cigar: ...Let's leave it at that. I don't want to pry any further and have you never come back again.

Young Man with Cigar: As long as he provides us with entertainment like this, it doesn't matter whose heart he belongs to...right?

Lady in Gloves: Well, that's true. Ah, Father, I wish you'd give up on my marriage soon.

("His heart belongs to that person"...does it?)

He was momentarily taken aback by the fact that the only person who came to mind when he heard those words, which were like a lump of romanticism, was Kate.

--It's cruel of you to act devoted now after hurting and abandoning her like that...!

The robin, who had taken up residence in his head at some point, turned away with an angry expression.

(Hehe...I'm not acting devoted to anyone.)

Alfons: It seems I still have some guilt left in me...Ah, a straight flush.

Drunk Aristocrat: Al wins again!

As he absentmindedly watched the rain of playing cards scatter, time melted away meaninglessly, just as he had intended.

-

After drinking all night and having a meat pie from a street vendor for breakfast, he returned to the castle...

Alfons: Oh?

Unfortunately, he ran into Roger and Kate walking together.

Kate: Ah...welcome back.

Roger: Hey, Al.

Putting aside the former doctor, a mentally strong person who cheerfully greeted him despite knowing he was disliked, Kate had a visibly awkward expression on her face.

(You're really bad at acting, aren't you?)

The complete opposite of me, who has reached the realm of being able to paste on a smile as a special skill.

Alfons: The two of you, going out together?

Kate: N-no...

Roger: What, are you interested?

Roger put his arm around Kate's shoulder as if to show off.

Kate: Roger!? What are you doing?

Roger: What's wrong with it? We're going to be cooped up in a closed room all day, just the two of us. Let's get along, shall we?

(This guy really has bad taste.)

(I'm not going to fall for his cheap provocation.)

Alfons: I see. It's good that you have a good friend to play with even when I'm not around, Kate.

Kate: ...

He smiled as if to convey that he didn't care, and Kate's eyebrows furrowed as if hurt.

(Ah, poor thing.)

She probably didn't approach Roger to heal her broken heart.

He knew she wasn't the type to do that.

Her devotion, which came at him even when he rejected and hurt her, was genuine.

(Unlike me, huh...)

(Well, it's another matter whether she'll return to the surface safely after being alone with this guy in the basement...)

(It has nothing to do with me.)

The moment he was about to leave, Kate opened her mouth as if she had been struck.

Kate: Alfons...!

Alfons: ? Yes, what is it?

Kate: ...I still like you.

Alfons: ...Huh?

Roger: ...........

He was momentarily frozen by the sudden and serious confession of love.

(............ Are you serious?)

(I'm the guy who toyed with your feelings and even called you a "nuisance" before leaving you in bed.)

It's crazy that you're still pouring such dazzling feelings on me.

Kate: Even if it's a nuisance to you...this is my truth.

Alfons: ...............

(Damn. I should have laughed it off.)

I have to make her give up, to make her understand that no matter how sincere her feelings are, they won't reach me.

(I have to make my feelings for her like trash in her mind.)

(I have to laugh at her and deny her...)

Even though he knew it in his head, his lips wouldn't form a smile.

Kate: Roger, let's go!

Kate ran down the stairs to the basement as if running away from me, who was silent.

Roger: Hahaha...It's been a while since I've seen you so speechless.

When Kate's footsteps faded away, he heard an unpleasant laugh.

I hated this guy's attitude of not caring about other people's emotions.

Alfons: ... You may not realize it, but I'm often left speechless by everyone.

Roger: Hmm? So, in the end, Kate is just like everyone else, huh?

Roger: If you don't need her, I might seriously steal her away.

The egoist slowly walks towards the stairs with a provocative smile on his lips.

Roger: You don't mind if it's a toy you don't need anymore, right?

Alfons: .............

Is the discomfort because the other person is this arrogant man?

Or is it because she is the one being taken away?

(Either way, it shouldn't matter)

(In any case, I have no choice but to continue with her, not because of momentary discomfort)

Then, it's stupid to even think about it. And yet-,

Her trembling lips that appealed to me, "I still love you,"

The palm of her hand that was tightly squeezed as if to muster up courage,

The gaze that stared straight at me as if to say, "Don't misunderstand," is burned into my mind and won't leave.

The heavy footsteps going down the stairs are terribly harsh.

It's surprisingly bitter for the feeling of having my favorite toy taken away.

(Is this... jealousy? Me? Body, how can I face it?)

It's like a child's selfishness to say that I don't want something I threw away because I don't need it anymore.

And-.

(Such a thing... I always thought that it was an emotion that I would never have in my life because I could only imitate love)

Alfons: ... I still don't know what I am.

Label the emotion that seems to be jealousy that came out of nowhere as "meaningless" and throw it away. Thinking any more about this will only reveal my own shortcomings.

I started walking to my room to sleep in, and suddenly a question came to my mind.

(By the way, if they weren't doing anything suspicious, then what on earth are they doing in the basement...?)

For a moment, I had a bad feeling.

Kate, who tells me that she "still loves me," is together with Roger, who utters the delusional words "change fate," in a basement overflowing with "cursed" materials...

Alfons: ... You're not that desperate, are you?

I deny it out loud, but the bad feeling fills my chest even more.

(What if it's too late after pushing her away this far?)

(What if she keeps pouring her honest feelings into me and spending time on me-?)

Alfons: ... At that time,

Alfons: Shall we disappear?

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chapter 19

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[ffviidirtyconfessions]

Rebirth has thoroughly drained my enjoyment of the remake trilogy. I no longer feel obligated to try and play the games anymore. I don't even want to play ever crisis. And honestly that's the one I was looking forward to the most, because that was supposed to have a game version of Advent children. But it doesn't seem like it's going to happen because of how shitty and terrible rebirth has been. I waited years for that game, just this whole remake in general, and now I just feel so drained. I, myself, only got 20 hours into the game. Just 20, and I pre-ordered the game. It is safe to say that I will no longer be playing a final fantasy game unless I see play through that I like of it.

I really, truly feel your pain here. After all's said and done, I honestly feel like the best thing Rebirth gave me was the chance to see Advent Children on the big screen. This is coming from a person who's been putting off buying a PS5 until I see a game that's worth it on it. This wasn't worth it. So I can't even imagine what it's like actually having bought it.

Even in those first 20 hours, I'm sure you already experienced so much of what I find weird, offensive at worst, and just off-putting about this game. It extends everything to such a strange point, the opening Nibel Mountain sequence being the first offender of all. Everything takes so much time to do and yet gains so little depth, oftentimes less than the original game, which had limited space. It's an insanely huge game that turns out to feel mostly empty. There's constant "upgradable collectables" around every corner, even serious story relevant corners, a required card game, chocobo racing everywhere I guess, and don't even get me started on the Chadley world intel thing that was literally for some reason just ripped out of Zelda Breath of the Wild (????). It wants to be 500 different other popular games and stops being a Final Fantasy game.

The story, too, is just as distracted. It has what I might call "interrupting cow" syndrome. Nothing is allowed to just sit. You have to see the next flashiest thing right away, even if it feels emotionally dissonant from whatever just happened. Oh yeah, let us not forget the random DEAD MOBILE GAME PULL that takes up SO MUCH TIME????? WHO THE FUCK IS GLENN LODBROK ACTUALLY OR AM I JUST A BAD FF7 FAN BECAUSE I DON'T THINK I AM- ahem. This general problem worries me most in the places that matter most to me- specifically in that they seem to want to erase Cloud's mental illness. His memory problems are suddenly credited to "degeneration" instead of what it is, which is trauma, what they always implied it to be in the first place. This escalates as the half-baked Zack alternate timeline whatever thing continues. I genuinely think they are really hurting the story by downplaying (if not removing) the emotional cores of loss and trauma in favor of... fighting fate?? The multiverse??? Something?????

All around it feels like it needed way more time in development. It feels rushed while being completely bloated with "content". It doesn't even look very good 90% of the time. I feel like they barely got used to the PS4's tools only to be stage-hooked by Sony over to the PS5.

The ending in particular (don't know whether or not you figured out what they did with it so I'll avoid spoilers) leaves me wholly unenthusiastic for the next installment. And yet I feel I can't completely look away from it. Something about train wrecks makes me need to look at them, but I completely respect your decision to step away, especially when it comes to your own hard earned money and time. If it's any consolation, you're not alone in disliking this.

Apologies for the length of this post. Unfortunately, I am an English major.

[thinkanamelater]

I didn't like the Barbie Movie. Here are (some of) the reasons why:

(Keep in mind, these are all my opinions, etc etc)

First and foremost, it felt performative as fuck. Like sure it address sexism, beauty standards, consummerism; with a tone that ranges from "sarcastic" to "genuine". But to me, every time it felt like they were reciting a lesson. When the teen (I don't remember her name) "tells it like it is", she might has well have been reading off a list of buzzwords.

Then, the tone. Oh my god. The tone. It never landed, for me. The line between self-awareness and parody and vulnerability were too blurry, and ended up feeling like a confusing mess of intentions.

Moving on, the pace. More than fast-paced, I felt it was hurried. Characters and references and jokes were thrown around over and over, at all times, barely allowing it to land. You know the scene when Ken takes a walk in the real world alone, and is bombarded by patriarchy propaganda? That's how the entire movie felt for me.

(Speaking of patriarchy. Oh my god. They said the word so many times, it felt less and less important every time.)

And I feel like the reason it felt so hurried and so busy is that they tried to do so many things, they half-assed everything. They made a frankenstein of satire and nostalgia and girlhood and patriarchy and toxic masculinity and self esteem and finding one's worth and relationships and and and.

Then there were smaller things that I disliked. Weird Barbie's sexual comments about Ken was so out of the blue and uncomfortable. The scene with Ruth at the end dragged on forever. Most of the scenes with the Mattel executives added nothing to the story.

I think what I most enjoyed was Allan's character. He was fun and sweet and did interesting stuff. And I did laugh at a couple jokes, of course. But over all, I was bored.

I didn't expect the movie to be a feminist masterpiece. I didn't expect it to have a deep plot or the most fleshed out characters or dramatic undertones.

I just expected it to be entertaining and nice to look at, and still felt dissapointed.

If your experience was any different from mine, if it resonated with you and you had a good time, I'm genuinely glad for you! This is my experience and these are my thoughts, and I wanted to share them.

Lastly, this youtube video gives an interesting, well articulated analysis! "The plastic feminism of Barbie" from the channel verilybitchie

[hajimeshoe]

AIGHT SO!

This one is a special one!

So, if you've seen the lion king, you've seen how the lionesses stood up to Scar.

Especially Sarabi (shout out to my queen bro!)

So I had a thought.

Leona's overblot dealing with a female prefect who hadn't been afraid of him from the very beginning.

Stepped on his tail and was not fazed when he threatened her after thinking she was a boy (cause she hid her gender for precautionary reasons)

Stood up to him when he forced the little magical shift game upon Ace, Deuce, Grim, and Cater.

Basically, she was very outspoken when dealing with him and made her presence known.

Even when he overblotted, she showed no fear and stood her ground, still voicing her thoughts.

As she should 💅🏾✨️

OOOH!! YES! An outspoken MC would be one that Leona genuinely likes (Either romantically or platonically) because it's unusual for people to actually talk back to him. Ao3 has been going down a lot this past week and I'm ready to cry. I have stories to write on there. Also! Octopuses have no spines...or any other bones.

Leona with Outspoken Fem!MC

Leona's worst nightmare has come to life (Or just come to Twisted Wonderland)

He wants peace and quiet? Not if the Prefect is around

He was expecting the sole magicless student to be quiet and to know their place in this school, but that was quickly disproved on that fated day in the Botanical Garden

"Don't just leave your tail on the path, then!" the prefect had snapped. "While you're at it, go to YOUR room to sleep instead of sleeping in a place where all students are allowed to go!"

Aaaand, he grew an immediate dislike for her

The magical shift game against the Heartslabyul kids? Only hardened his dislike of her

"HARD pass," she had said. "Seeing as you're incapable of winning anything without cheating, or you wouldn't be letting one of your students injure other players."

And then she had the audacity to stand up to him during his Overblot, yelling about how he can't commit murder just because of a family argument.

"Not happening!" He had growled when Jack brought her to Savannaclaw, asking for her and her pet to stay there.

His greatest mistake? Letting Ruggie guilt him into letting them stay in his room.

Those two could not stay quiet for the life of them, managing to whine about everything and even dragging him headfirst into their squabble with Azul.

"You're a girl!?" He growled upon walking in without thinking to find her changing

She threw a dagger at him...how she got one? He had no clue

But finding out she was a girl changed a lot. After all, Leona couldn't throw hands with a girl, that went against everything he had learnt growing up

Does not give the Prefect his bed, even after finding out she's a girl...just wakes up to find her having trouble sleeping and tosses her in the bed while he takes the couch so he can sleep peacefully

Aaaand that just leads to teasing (Cue Leona google searching "How to get a human to filter their words")

Don't be fooled. He does enjoy having an herbivore that actually speaks up and argues back, no matter how annoying it can be at times. After all, he gets to argue for once when he's normally given his way on principle.

Octopunk overblotted. Did MC get some self-preservation instincts and keep her mouth quiet for once? Of course not.

"Get over it, Azul! Bullying is cruel, but it isn't a damned reason to repeat the cycle! Grow a spine- do octopuses have spines? Oh well, grow one and stop fucking whining!"

...Leona is ready to wrap this suicidal prefect in bubble wrap and lock them in a spare room. Savannaclaw dorm has plenty of empty dorm rooms.

Yes, she's grown on him like a leech

By time Winter Break rolls around, he's just glad to have the prefect out of his dorm and have a reason to get away from her for a couple of weeks.

After all he really needs a nap

And if he "dropped" a better phone than the one Crowley got her in Ramshackle before taking off, well, it's definitely not because he doesn't trust Jamil or Azul

Not at all

[vote-gaara]

Why didn't you like Gaara Hiden?

My feelings for Gaara Hiden are complicated.

Oh, and if you haven't read the English Translations here they are. Someone formatted it from the Tumblr post that was originally on Cacatua's blog.

Now what was I saying?

Oh yes, my feelings for Gaara Hiden...Complicated. Very, very very complicated. I don't hate the story, but I don't really like it either.

Now before I absolutely lampoon this novel, here are some things I do liked about it:

Gaara content in which he stayed in character!

The story was more or less unnecessary (more on this later).

Gaara's fixation on how Naruto saved him took a back seat to other things going on, which was a breath of fresh air as it allowed the story to focus on other aspects of Gaara's life.

Sand sibling interactions are always welcome :)

Socially awkward Gaara is amazing, especially around romantic themes. Also, we love when Gaara can go off about his hobbies.

Strong things I dislike about the novel:

Gaara came across as really cold which irritated me, but also didn't surprise me. Gaara is a really complex character to write. He's simultaneously sassy, pessimistic and a bit of a meanie while turning around and being the most genuine, wholesome and inspirational character you would ever get to know. I'm not even saying Gaara was out of character, because they did a really good job of keeping him pretty true to who he is, but I wished the novel would have forced him to interact with other people as a normal person, rather than as Kazekage, which the entire book proceeded to do and thus we lost out on seeing Gaara's true personality. Like the book handled him floundering with Hakuto really well, but how he treated Shijima in comparison was just...Not good. It was boring. BORING! It was like watching a coworker talking to their boss the entire time, which just did not make for good reading and Shijima ended up coming across as very flat as a result. And I KNOW this is because they were on a mission, I KNOW they were just being "shinobi" but...like....I just wanted more of the genuine, good and wholesome "Gaara trying to interact with people" rather than "Gaara being Kazekage and acting like Kazekage and everyone treats him like he's the Kazekage."

We learned that Temari and Kankuro took a backseat in Gaara's life - The book did Kankuro dirty more than Temari. After I read the scene when Gaara and Kankuro are talking (which was like half a page long), and it said something like "this was the longest conversation Gaara had had with his brother in 6 months" I could not describe the amount of anger I felt. I know the sand siblings are busy, but 6 MONTHS???? WHAT??

Kazekage Clan - Crap. Crap, crap, crap and utter garbage. I think I wrote about this in a different post (on one of my other blogs, maybe? I don't remember now) but the "Kazekage clan" pretty much vetoed any meaning behind Gaara's speech to Kankuro when Gaara was like "I want to become Kazekage one day." In the beginning of the series, a person could've figured that becoming Kazekage would operate a lot like becoming Hokage, where only the strongest, smartest and most hardworking individual was selected, and that working towards that title was something not to be taken lightly. Assuming this, when you look at Gaara's speech to Kankuro, where he's professing that he wants to become special to others, to repair and heal the damage and pain he caused, and to connect to others, you imagine that Gaara has nothing but this treacherous, mountainous, up-hill battle to fight...Not only is it difficult to become Kazekage, but as Kankuro put it "the jonin don't think highly of you and people are as scared of you as ever." It had meaning to it. It meant that there was a lot at stake. And because of that, it meant so much when you discovered that Gaara did become Kazekage....But then oops, they just ruined that by making the position a family title. It just cheapened the whole thing, and it made no sense as to why Gaara tried so hard in the first place if it was just gonna be passed down to him anyways, since his siblings weren't interested in the title....Idk, just felt like it ruined any meaning behind Gaara's character development which just gutted me cause WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT???

The story was pointless - Okay, so I'm kinda thankful the story was pointless because I was hoping Gaara would remain single. (I know, I know, I KNOW and I'm sorry. Gaara deserves that romantic love, but also it's kind nice to have him be an ace/aro icon too). I just think it was realistic for him to just be by himself and to find happiness doing whatever Gaara does. HOWEVER, I also have a thing where I'm like...."Why tell a story that serves no purpose?" Which sounds so mean, and maybe it is, because I love any and all Gaara content, but also I don't know if I really got anything from this novel, either? Like it didn't develop Gaara's character and he was pretty much...stagnant the whole time, which is an interesting way to write a story. They could have gone in so many directions that would've had Gaara learn how to interact with people and to connect with others on a more personal level....Small changes that wouldn't have even been very hard to disprove in canon, but instead Gaara just....didn't change the whole time. He didn't learn anything and he just....was.

All the "gotcha" moments - Plot twists are only clever when there's proper foreshadowing (in my opinion). A lot of the "And then Gaara revealed that he knew about the person following him/the betrayal/the setup/the motive the whole time!!" was just....so....um...not good. It just felt like I was the constant victim of an ass-pull the whole time. In fact, the only plot twist/reveal the novel did well was unveiling that Gaara and Kankuro were in cahoots the whole time about Kankuro trying to take over being Kazekage, and believe it or not, that was because the novel took the time to set that up. They made you pay attention to it with relevant details. Meanwhile, in the end scene where Gaara stabs that dude that had apparently been following them the whole time just was a giant wtf to me, honestly lol. I was halfway expecting a T-Rex to burst from the earth crust and Santa clause to rain down from the sky just randomly, because why not at that point if we're just gonna make stuff up willy nilly? IDK maybe I'm wrong and maybe I missed some clever writing in it, but mostly I was just kinda underwhelmed.

That being said, Gaara content is Gaara content, so I am obligated to like Gaara hiden.

[madnessofthespirits]

2, 9 and 17 about Diar and Alter for the character ask game 👀👀👀

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

cu alter: ummmm i'd die for anything. for example:

he's not lancer but he is very much cu chulainn

in EPU (and to a certain extent post-EPU too) he's basically just a guy trying to give himself agency in a situation where he's been robbed of his agency. this makes him act really weird

nothing about him has anything to do with warp spasm cu, even on a meta level

he's got that dissociative ptsd

whenever he's kind or caring i find it moving because he's quite literally been altered to suppress those parts of himself, which goes to show that they're actually too strong to be suppressed completely at all, and that he's fighting extra hard to be that way

(i may be interpreting this question as an opportunity to just share random opinions but hopefully that's okay)

diarmuid: the worst things that ever happened to him were ultimately the fault of awful old men with too much power and if fate would actually notice that and try to do something with what that might mean about him i think that would be a much more interesting thing to explore in regard to his character in fgo (or any other post-f/z media he could potentially be in) than well, most of the other things they've done with him post-f/z instead

also *straight guy voice* he's way stronger than either canon or fans usually treat him as being. urobuchi (or someone else on the f/z staff, i forget who) said he might have won the grail war if it weren't for kayneth being a fuckwad. all of the stuff he's done in his legends is at least as impressive as anything cu has ever done.

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character

cu alter: honestly i think it was during the scene where he fights nero and she's trying to understand his motives and nothing he's saying really makes much sense and she points out that he's not even enjoying what he's doing, which he implicitly agrees with, and then tells her that his only goal is to just keep fighting until he's dead. i remember thinking to myself stuff along the lines of "wow bro that sounds Bad what's your problem" and "oh he's like Fucked Up fucked up i can't not care about him" and really it just made me want to understand him so bad

and then there's the finale scene where he finally admits that he's being forced to do what he's doing because medb used the grail to place him under a geis and it's like sad as fuck because he's been forced to sacrifice the parts of himself that feel joy and love just so he can maintain his honor, and therefore it's also heroic at the same time (this is what i'm talking about when i say that though he may not be lancer he is very much cu chulainn). also the part where's he kind to medb while she's dying in spite of having little reason to be and actually holding clear dislike for her is very touching

diarmuid: i definitely liked him from the start - like he so clearly just wants to do the right thing and have fun at the same time in spite of the fact that he has this horrific past and got saddled with this shitty master - like how could i not care about him? but it's definitely the last couple of scenes he appears in that sealed the deal for me. just seeing him walk away from that shitty encounter with kayneth and turn around and decide he's not gonna let that stop him from enjoying an epic fight with his best friend - and then he experiences one of the most awful fictional deaths i can think of and we learn that this whole time while he's been smiling and taking the high road at every turn he's actually been building up this whole volcano of grief and resentment. the whole thing is just as brief as it is powerful. it's a moment of honesty, it's touching, it's relatable, it's the closest thing to justice he's allowed. it contrasts so starkly with the side of him the audience sees up until then that it comes off as genuinely shocking, and it shows that he is just as glaringly human as he is a perfect knight, and therefore what makes him such an interesting and lovable character. can't imagine how hard your heart has to be to see all that and not care for him at least a little

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

cu alter: i think you will either get it or not, but out of all the songs i associate with him, of which there are many, i think of this one as being the most "his" of them all

diarmuid: i know i've already brought this one up before but:

"when i choose to see the good side of things, i'm not being naive. it is strategic and necessary. it's how i've learned to survive through everything." -- waymond wang in everything everywhere all at once (excellent film btw if you haven't seen it)

also:

[ferrocyan]

WEIRDLY SPECIFIC BUT HELPFUL CHARACTER BUILDING QUESTIONS

answered from twitter and i'm crossposting here for fun :3

33. How do they greet someone they dislike / hate?

oh he doesnt, straight up just ignores them lmao. when greeted tart will reply back too politely, if he calls you ser/madam/milord its usually out of pure malice lol. when tart calls ppl by master/miss/lord (name) its normal he is a polite boy. but if the name is omitted and its just their title or honorific thats where the danger is www. also calling estinien by "wyrmblood" was the sign that tart was about to murder him. so watch out for that buddy

8. How loose is their use of the phrase ‘I love you’?

i dont.. think tart says i love you a lot to anyone other than reeq. she said it to her father in the aftermath of the ghymlit dark and to alphinaud in ultima thule. thats... it??? tart gives out a lot of praise and affection freely but not the words "i love you"... reeq gets most of it he should be honored.

14. How do they put out a candle?

use a snuffer and cover the flame. otherwise he just reaches over to put it out w his fingers and is like OW SHIT

6. What’s their favorite [insert anything] that they’ve never recommended to anyone before?

HMMMM actually something tart collects but never talks about w anyone is music. he commissions a lot of orchestrion rolls composed from tales of battles and adventures, brings a portable player and sings along w the tracks when traveling alone. but he never does this when traveling w others bc he prefers talking to them! tarts favorite song is "the hand that gives the rose" from ravana. his pet falcon is named after it. he also rly likes "dedicated to moonlight" (when i first heard that song something abt the melody just.. feels like exactly what tarts dad would love to play and i could imagine them dancing to that song together so clearly for some reason anyway what im not crying shut up. theyre not even moonkeepers why do i think this augh)

39. Would they rather be invited to an event to feel included or be excluded from an event if they were not genuinely wanted there?

ohhh man if you actually ask tart this he would say hed rather be included. but rly being a clearly unwanted presence would wound him deep in his soul. though i dont think he realizes that, like he would feel bad but have no clue why and he still thinks this is better than the alternative being excluded from his friends. but hes wrong

30. When they make a mistake and feel bad, does the guilt differ when it’s personal versus when it’s professional?

its quite different. tart handles professional guilt rly well, like in bozja when he was confronted by bajsaljen tart admitted all he did wrong (despite mikoto giving him an opening to cover it up) and apologized easily. for personal guilt the apology is.. a lot harder to do! hes always sincere abt it but theres also the fear that he wont be forgiven and is hated for it, which makes him avoid the person he wronged. this can ruin relationships sometimes, but if there is no hard feelings and the relationship is allowed to recover, that can become a rly strong bond. bc if tart knows they still want him around even after he did them wrong, theres no more reservations and he is ride or die for this person forever

[mathlann]

1, 11, 28, 42, and B for Casimira? Sorry for sending so many, there's so much I want to know 👀

From this ask meme. Thank you! Ask and you shall receive lol.

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Answered here!

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

She's a seek clarification type of lady. Cas will not have herself looking stupid because she made an assumption she shouldn't have. With anything genuinely important she'll make sure both parties in the conversation agree on what is being asked and what she plans to do before she does it. The exception to this is Marazhai because he will maybe let her get one question in and still won't give a straight answer 80% of the time, so in that case if she still doesn't know by Dodge Answer #2 she just goes with it until she can read whatever cue he's giving. It never ends up being that much of a problem but also he's generally not in charge of stuff like "trade routes" and "making sure the colonies don't implode" so his exception is allowable.

28. Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? 

She prefers the unpleasant truth. A lie has a high chance of making fools out of everyone involved but an unpleasant truth can at least be worked around and come to something better. Duly note that she is a bit of a hypocrite on this, because she herself is okay with lying if she thinks there's no consequences to it, like telling Heinrix she didn't know anything about the sword shards. And when the need comes for her to approach a difficult topic she will internally grind her teeth and drag her feet to avoid the conversation until something forces her hand.

42. How badly do they want to reach their end goal? 

Her end goal here being: "make the Protectorate less chaotic and get the dynasty under the control," greatly. Cas has never had a great opinion of off-worlders in general and Imperium nobility in particular and so frankly everything that happened after her arrival on Theodora's flagship was a reinforcement of all her biases. Between Theodora's neglect and Calcazar's scheming, Cas hasn't had a peaceful night since she left Iocanthos because there's just so much she needs to do, fix one problem and five more spring up. But if she can actually get things back into some kind of working order her way that will make all the difference (and stick it to a political entity that she very much dislikes, so a mighty bonus).

B. What inspired you to create them?

Oh that's a long and convoluted answer. In short I'd say she's an amalgamation of a lot of character concepts that I've played with off an on since I got the original Rogue Trader TTRPG book a decade or so ago. The CRPG is quite different from any of the FFG 40k games but Casimira being A) high Fellowship, B) Xenos-friendly, and C) probably from Iocanthos (a favorite from Dark Heresy) were going to be givens for me. I'm always looking to play high charisma PCs in general and I also really like having characters that are from the outskirts of Imperium society in some way. Also just for the general concept I'd just finished Catherynne M. Valente's Palimpsest, and I'll say the Casimira in that book is very much her vibe (alone and in parts of her romance w Marazhai) in ways I didn't know when I first grabbed the name off of her.

The rest under the cut because it's long 😅

Mechanically, since Psyker (my usual preference) wasn't fully implemented in EA, the original Cas in EA/first half-playthrough was a Death World/Commissar/Operative (conceptually similar to how I see her older sister actually). That Casimira was more genuinely "good person" Iconoclastic, which didn't quite fit what I was going for but also I didn't really know how the Iconoclast/Heretic split was going to go at the time. This Cas was practical, had some Dogmatic moments, and generally was approaching her role as Rogue Trader by trying to be a decent person/"benevolent noble" more often than not.

Then Yremeryss kicked my ass back to Act 1 and Cas was remade as a Hiver/Noble/Officer, both for the Fellowship bonuses and because at that point I'd decided Marazhai was the one for her and frankly "You. Serve Me." being the Noble's key ability was, uh, fitting for their dynamic. That Cas was going to be from Scintilla, and I made her a bit more spoiled, callous, and scheme-y, very into crime and other light heresies because she's very sure of her power as Rogue Trader and the right to do what she wants.

The current Xenoheretical, actively Anti-Imperium, Chaos dabbler Casimira emerged partway through that playthrough. She became Iocanthan again, an envoy this time, and Hiver still fit with the nomadic background. She got some of her old altruism back but it was more out of pragmatism than genuine feeling and could be overridden if she felt wronged or that her immediate want had a greater benefit. Also her being nominally a Noble but unable to meet the proper expectations of how she should act (according to Imperium standards) became a bigger part of her arc, one that ended up resulting in the Great Heinrix Divorce Arc and her darker turn with Marazhai in the second half of the game. And with all that, the Casimira I have today!

(Honorable mention vibe-wise, Bizet's Carmen, and specifically this performance of "Ramparts of Seville" conceptually influenced quite a bit of how I see her and Heinrix in that they definitely fit the "uptight man married to his job meets a mezzo soprano and they are not compatible and won't end up together but boy will they wreck his fucking life with the time they've got" genre 🤫)