#oh also i tried to play with line weight on this and it came out kinda neat :V

[upsidedownwithsteve]

Eddie Munson x fem!reader requested by anon 18+

Eddie loved his job. He loved sitting amongst the noise of the record shop, loved showing customers music, old music, his favourite music. He loved that he didn’t have to spend every night doing runs in the van, meeting up with shady characters in the dark parts of town, taking up the time he should’ve been spending with you. 

He also loved that Magic Records' door was next to a shop that was dimly lit, a pink glow coming from the inside, velvet curtains in the windows and mannequins dressed in pretty lingerie. He also loved what that store kept on the back shelves. But every time he tried to coax you in after you met him during his lunch, you squeaked and backed away, too shy to even look at the sign above the door. 

‘Satin and Lace.’

Eddie didn’t push, he would never. He didn’t laugh or make jokes, but he did ask if it was something you were interested in. A toy, maybe? Something small and discreet you could play around with. Eddie was the be all and end of all when it came to your sexual experiences and as happy as the boy was with that, he was eager to bring you out of your shell a little - if you’d let him. 

So one day, when you were sitting in the front of his van with him, sharing a sub and some cherry coke, he asked if you’d be okay with him picking you something out. A gift, a surprise, as much a treat for him as it would be for you. And you’d nodded, cheeks hot to the touch and eyes on your lap, because as long as you didn’t have to walk through the doors of Hawkins most scandalous shop, you’d be fine with whatever. 

Eddie hadn’t shown you what he purchased, in fact, he hadn’t said a word about it. But you’d seen him come home with a little red bag almost five days ago and nothing had come of it. Maybe he’d changed his mind, maybe he’d forgotten. And it had taken until he had you in just his shirt, stripped from the waist down and in his bed until you had the courage to ask. 

He was hovering over you, careful not to crush you with his weight, kissing a line across your neck as his fingers slid in and out of you. He’d worked you up to take two, a slow build that felt like the start of summer, heat rolling over your skin as he sucked a bruise onto your throat, curled his fingers just right and stretched you open on them. It made you whine, clutching at his bare shoulders with your eyes clenched tight. 

You couldn’t help it. Your mind was set on his teasing, how good he felt, it was wandering to dirty places, filthy thoughts that you usually were too shy to say aloud but Eddie whispered your name into your skin and it made you arch your hips, seeking more. 

“Eddie?” You said his name in a soft sigh, like you were praising him more than asking a question. But when you tugged gently at his curls, Eddie moved back a little and peered down at you, concerned. “S’okay, I’m fine,” you promised before he could ask, before he dared take his fingers from between your thighs. “I was just— was just wondering? If you… if you ever…”

Maybe Eddie knew what you were going to ask, because he smiled, dimples and all as he pushed his fingers back into you, the slick there making obscene noises. You cried out for him, momentarily distracted before the boy was nosing at your cheek and asking, “wondering what, sweetheart?”

“Oh fuck,” you swore and Eddie grinned, always pleased when you let go like this, letting yourself say words you’d normally scold him for. “I was wondering - ohmygod - if you, if you bought… that thing?”

Eddie thought about teasing you, about dragging it all out and making you say it, making you ask for it. But he looked down at the way you were staring back at him so earnestly, brows drawn together from pleasure, lips swollen and pouty from the way he’d kissed you until you were sliding off your own shorts. So he smiled and nodded instead, ducking down to press a sweet peck to your lips for being confident enough to ask. 

He hushed you as he slid his fingers from your entrance, soothing the emptiness away with a thumb on your thigh as he reached over to his bedside table drawer and pulled out a small, silver device. Much smaller than you’d imagined, bullet shaped and with a button on the end. You felt relief looking at it, even though you knew Eddie wouldn’t have bought anything that would have made you nervous. But still, your stomach flipped when the boy handed it to you. 

“What do I do with it?” You asked shyly, feeling nothing short of small at having to ask. This wasn’t your forte. “I don’t know—”

“Hey, babe, baby,” Eddie eased your impending panic by moving back down to you, cotton sweatpants tented at the front as he leaned into the cradle of your hips but his kisses on your cheek were nothing short of sweet. “S’alright, yeah? Look,” he took the bullet from you and pressed the button, the little toy buzzing to life. “You just do what feels good, yeah?”

You tensed up as Eddie brought it to your chest, skimming it over a nipple that was hidden under his Metallica logo. You jerked slightly at the sensation, eyes wide and Eddie beamed. “How’s that feel?”

You nodded, lashes fluttering and sucked in a breath. “More powerful than I thought,” you laughed weakly and Eddie joined in. 

He moved it down your sternum, down the line of your tummy and over your belly button, watching you intently as he pressed it to your folds, but avoided your clit. You whined, back arching up for him. “There’s my girl, hm? That feels good, huh, baby?”

You nodded again and lost yourself to the vibrations, the intense buzz across your skin that Eddie moved over your cunt, dipping into your slick to slide across your entrance. You moved your hips with him, gasping , making pretty little noises that Eddie wanted to bottle up and keep. You were clinging to him, writhing in his sheets under him and he let his head fall down so he could watch the way you spread your legs more, chasing his touch. 

“Fuckin’ Christ, sweetheart, that’s so fuckin’ hot.” Eddie sat back on his knees, unable to help the way he palmed at himself, grabbing and squeezing his  cock through his sweats. “Here baby, you try, yeah? I’ll help you, s’okay, don’t worry.”

Eddie handed you back the toy, still buzzing but now between two of your fingers. The boy was patient as you eyed it carefully before bringing it back between your legs. Instinctively, you pressed it against your clit, barely there touch that immediately had you tensing up and crying out. Your mind went a little hazy, your free hand reaching out blindly for your boyfriend as you squeezed your eyes shut. Eddie’s fingers found yours and he cooed at you softly, guiding your palm to tangle into his hair and he brought himself closer between your knees. 

“Oh, shit, I know, I know,” Eddie whispered. He sounded as wrecked as you felt. “M’gonna make it even better, baby, ‘kay? Just want you to lie there and play with that pretty pussy like a good girl. Can you do that for me?”

You nodded weakly as you pressed the bullet closer to your clit, hips bucking against it, searching for Eddie’s touch. His fingers slid against you, hissing at the new wetness there, slick and crying out for his attention. Easier than ever, he pushed two thick fingers back inside of you, starting a slow drag in and out that made you see stars. 

“I’m gonna come,” you choked out, an immediate reaction to him filling you up. “Ohmygod, Eddie—”

Eddie went back into Satin and Lace the next day with a box of chocolates for the surprised assistant behind the counter. 

[nctstar]

Hiii I dont know if you still take requests but really like your blogs and I want to ask can you please do a jaehyun x female reader where the reader id pregnant and jae is needy but she isn't confident about her pregnancy body so he tell her it's okay and all you can change it as much as you like but like just keep the main idea pls thank youuuuu

thank you! here you are :)

be my forever only.

“My love…I’ll be right here when you wake up. I promise.”

pairing: jaehyun x fem!reader

other members: none

word count: 2.1k

genre: smut, fluff

warnings: sexual content so minors please dni!! descriptions of pregnancy and pregnancy body, reader is insecure about her appearance, kissing, pregnancy sex, oral sex (fem receiving), fingering, clitoral stimulation, breast play, penetrative p in v sex, (pretty vanilla actually who would have thought for me lol), lots and lots of praise and use of petnames (baby, pretty girl, darling, love etc.), profanity, jaehyun is sort of a soft dom (but nothing too crazy)

disclaimer: this is a fanfiction purely from my (filthy) imagination. I don't know the nct members and don't claim that they act like this in real life. I also do not condone any of the activity by any of the characters in this fic. 

a/n: we all need a jaehyun like this i think

Nothing was going right today from the start.

Your hair was having a field day – dry as hay on the ends, greasy near your part line, making it near impossible for any style to look half-decent. Lips chapped and skin peeling, you swallowed a lump of acidotic nausea that threatened to spill past your lips for what felt like the dozenth time today. You must have gone to the bathroom to let trickles of urine leak out of you, never feeling quite relieved but at the same time, not being able to resist the urge each time. You felt swollen, like your body was bursting at the seams of your hot, tight skin.

And to make matters worse, today was the hottest day of the year.

“Jae,” you called out breathlessly, trying not to sound too exhausted as you lowered yourself down onto your bed with shaky arms. “Can you come here, please?”

The sound of your husband’s steps calmed you momentarily, a wave of contentedness that was swiftly replaced by anxiety as you watched his form materialise at the frame of your bedroom door.

There was nothing wrong with Jaehyun – in fact, he was perfect.

Too perfect.

“You alright?” His shirt hung open dangerously, revealing the tantalising lines of his toned stomach and the edges of his underwear, pants slipping off his slender hips. “Oh, wait, wait.” He rushed over to you, the smell of his cologne overtaking you, making your nausea spike tenfold. “Jae, that’s okay. That’s not why I called.” You willed the wave of nausea away before speaking again. “Is the AC on? It doesn’t seem like it is.”

“It is, love. It’s freezing,” His face was lined with worry, even as he tried to laugh it off. “You feeling sick again?”

You wanted to shake your head, say no, but your head moved on its own accord. As you tilted your head up and down, tears flooded your vision. “Sorry.” You tried to whisper, but it came out a whimper, and immediately you felt Jaehyun squeeze his arms around your body, soundless.

You felt the nausea rising again, and you shoved your arms against his, the cologne smell attacking you once again. “No, Jae, don’t. I’m gonna be sick again.” As soon as the words left you, you gagged, head flying down in response. You felt his weight lift off the bed and heard the sound of your bedside vomit bag crinkle even before he held it up towards your face. “It’s okay. Do you need to? Just go if you need to.” He rubbed your back rather harshly, but it felt so nice, like a thousand-year-old itch finally being tended to. You sobbed, one hand stubbornly wiping away every tear that dared rolled down your skin.

“Hey, hey. Are you hurt? Do you want me to call someone?” You furiously shook your head. “No? What do you need, baby? I can help you.”

Between gasps for air, you managed to get out. “I feel so nauseas, but nothing will come out. I feel heavy, like a lump of shit, or a water balloon. And I feel so ugly!” You cried harder, simultaneously because you felt ugly and because of how silly and superficial that sounded coming out of your mouth. Jaehyun’s rubs on your back transformed to gentler strokes, and he spoke softly. “Why would you feel ugly? You’re carrying our child, my love. You have never been more beautiful.”

You scoffed. “Really, Mr ‘Hottest Man in Korea?’” The headline you saw this morning still flashed before your eyes, making you feel ashamed that you were this perfect man’s wife. And then, even more ashamed at the fact that you could even think about yourself like that.

This had never been a problem for you. You were far from a model, or, at least, what the current beauty standards considered the pinnacle of feminine beauty and perfection. But it never really phased you, even as you stood next to your conventionally perfect husband, watching him stand next to other seemingly flawless human beings. You never cared about any of it. Yet, today, the dangerous concoction of your pregnancy hormones and the TikToks you saw this morning about wives saying their husbands found them less attractive after pregnancy, threatened to push you over the edge.

Jaehyun furrowed his brows, looking annoyed. “What are you talking about, _?” Seeing him annoyed snapped you out of your tearful mood, and you tried to stand, teter tottering under the weight of your belly. “Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing.”

“No, tell me.” Pulling you down gently, Jaehyun slid his hand down your arm and let it rest on top of yours as you sat back down. The burning in your legs from the effort started to ebb away, and you sighed. “I know it’s stupid.”

“No, of course not.”

“No, but it is. Like, I mean, why should I care how sexy you think I am? That’s not even why we got together…I mean, of course I care, but, like, I think I’m decent, like maybe a five-“

Your lips were met with his, cutting you off, the smell of his hair now clouding you. You breathed into the kiss, but your body felt stiff, refusing to relax. Jaehyun pulled away, grazing the edges of his lips on your cheek. “I can’t believe you think so lowly of yourself, _. You’re gorgeous. You always have been.” He began to travel his face down to your neck, leaving soft kisses on your skin, making the hairs on your body stand on end. “Jaehyun,” you tried to whisper, but it came out like a loud moan, and you immediately blushed. He chuckled, wrapping his long fingers around your waist. “Do you want this, my love? Are you still feeling alright? Let me take care of you, then.”

Your body felt hot, butterflies erupting in your stomach from a sudden sense of feeling cared for, of being loved so deeply. It wasn’t necessarily that he wasn’t sweet like this always, but something about the idea of letting go of your anxieties and having your husband take the lead like this made you feel floaty with desire. “O-okay.” As soon as the breath left your lungs, Jaehyun stood to make his way in front of you, bending down on one knee. You giggled. “I do, Jae.”

He smiled, his eyes turning into half circles. “Are you losing your memory too, baby? Or is it just your marbles? Thinking you’re not sexy, you’re not beautiful. What nonsense.” He huffed, and you cringed physically, not used to being so lovey-dovey like this. You can’t say you were hating it, though.

Placing his hands on your knees, you reflexibly separated them, making him chuckle. “So eager for me. No, I want you to shuffle back on the bed, darling.” Muttering an oh, you begin to shuffle yourself back using your arms, feeling Jae push on your knees to help. “That’s it. Good girl.” Your stomach turned at his words and his voice, knowing how much you loved his soft praises as much as his mean dominance.  

Your knees fell apart naturally, the weight of your belly now pushing down onto the lower part of your spine, making you wince. You fought back a groan, but Jaehyun was already onto it, pillow in hand. “Let me pop this under your back, darling. Do you wanna lay like this? Is it comfortable?” Grunting, you both manoeuvred the pillow to fit snug under the curve of your lower back, throat dry with anticipation. “It’s okay, baby.” You let your head fall back, your shoulders and neck aching from looking at Jaehyun’s head from this angle. “That’s it. Lie back and relax, _.”

As soon as Jaehyun’s hot tongue nestled inside you, your legs recoiled naturally, stopping as your thighs hit the plush of your belly. “A-ah.” Jaehyun shushed you, the vibrations spreading through your core and deep inside you, making you moan. As he worked his tongue in circles, you tried to reach down you touch him, or yourself, fighting the urge to cum quickly, but also wanting to so bad. His long arms stretched out to pin your wandering hand into place. “Did I say to move, hmm?” He sped up, head bobbing up and down, the wetness of your juices now spreading to the inner skin of your thighs, making you cry out. “Fuck! Oh my god, Jae, don’t stop…” you babbled, falling apart at a rapid rate.

“I’m gonna cum!” Your head thrown back, you felt your legs shake, and Jaehyun pull away, making you audibly whine. “Shh, be patient, pretty girl. What do we say when we feel good, hmm?” Hair in his eyes, you watched him tower over you, one hand still between your legs. You were surprised at the way he was soft and gentle, but also keeping up with the domineering that always sent you into bliss. His fingers pushed lightly onto your clit, but it was enough to send electricity down your spine. “Mmm, Jae, so good, so good…” Your lips met his, tongue exploring the crevices of your mouth as you moaned. His other hand squeezed around your right boob, eliciting a shaky whimper from you. “Please, I’m…ngh, thank you, thank you…” He hummed in satisfaction, rubbing your clit faster as he kissed the space between your boobs, meeting your skin as you arched your upper back off the bed in pleasure. You cried as you came, squeezing your eyes shut hard until you could see stars. Jaehyun pressed a kiss to your forehead, your vision blurry as you opened your eyes. “Beautiful, my love. So perfect.” You began to cry again, letting him peck the thin skin of your face and neck, his hot breath caressing you with every kiss.

“M-more, please…” You tried to squeeze your legs together, for the smallest bit of relief, but the weight of your protruding belly stopped you. You whined in frustration. “Fuck, please, please, you’re so good…want your cock, please.”

“So polite, my pretty girl.” Jaehyun pressed a kiss on top of your belly, making you suddenly shyer than ever. “Who am I to deny my baby, hmm?” You nodded fervently, making him chuckle once again, sitting back on his heels to align his hard length against your leaking hole. As he pushed himself inside, the stretch felt overwhelming, all encompassing, and your toes curled, fingers clutching the sheets in vain. “O-oh, fuck, so sensitive…” Jaehyun halted his hips, high kneeling to watch your face closely. “Does it hurt, love?” You shook your head, but he still slowed down, one hand holding yours and letting his thumb stroke the skin lazily in an attempt to soothe you. “F-fuck, you’re sucking me in so well, honey. Wish you could see this perfect pussy right now.” You replied through a series of wanton moans, eyes rolling already at the feeling of being stuffed full, the pressure on your clit orgasmic. “I’m gonna cum again, oh, fuck.”

You and Jaehyun groaned in unison as you squirted all over his cock, egging him on to start thrusting deeper and faster. His cock sliding in and out of your gummy walls, your pussy screamed with sensitivity, but you felt too good to stop. “Nghhh, ah, please, please…” Tears streaming down your face, Jaehyun grabbed your hand and kissed the top messily, his hips still travelling at an unfaltering speed. “Perfect, so perfect. You wanna cum again, princess?” You babbled incoherently, but he kept going. “Say it. Say you’re beautiful, and you deserve to cum.”

“I, ah, hmm, wanna cum…” Your voice shook, and Jaehyun spread his legs wider, pulling both of your ankles up towards his shoulders. The new angle hit right on your g-spot, the sudden switch making you scream. “Oh, fuck!”

“Don’t cum yet. That wasn’t good enough.” Jaehyun thrusts were getting sloppier, messier, and you could tell he was close. Your face felt hot, the rush of blood in your ears almost deafening, all organised thoughts leaving you as you felt your body reach another climax. “Ah! Fuck, gonna cum! Deserve it, please…I’m b-beautiful, fuck, fuck, fuck!” Your whole body jerked involuntarily, your vision momentarily going black as you came hard and fast. You heard Jaehyun’s voice first, then his lips on your ear, one hand stroking your face and another your thigh. “Shhh, good girl, baby. Let me fill you up so good, baby.” Only then could you feel that he had finished inside you, his hot load viscous and threatening to spill out with the tiniest movement. “You okay?”

You needed a minute to regain your composure, but you used whatever strength you had left to nod, mumbling. “Was so good. Wanna sleep, please.”

“Okay, honey. You relax, I’ll clean you up.”

You latched onto him, bringing him closer to you, the smell of his body making you want to cry in relief. “I…love you, love you, Jaehyun. Please, s-stay.” He kissed you, muttering I love you’s back as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders.

“My love…I’ll be right here when you wake up. I promise.”

[dark-and-kawaii]

Chaos

Raphael & His Daughter

⋆˙⟡♡ Sunmary: Raphael’s daughter causes chaos through the house, much to Raphael’s dismay.

⋆˙⟡♡ Notes: This is a little gift for a very lovely person, @octarinecat xoxo I hope this puts a smile on your face love and that you feel better ♡

⋆˙⟡♡ Dadphael

Prt 1. - Prt 2. - Impsy

His daughter, the heart of the house, darted through the grand halls with Impsy at her heels. As they played their little game, she collided with one of her father’s prized golden statues, a self portrait, no less.

The statue wobbled perilously before succumbing to gravity, setting off a catastrophic cascade of falling pedestals and statues, each one toppling into the next with the precision of a rehearsed performance…

Frozen in the midst of the chaos, his daughter could only muster a, "uh oh..."

Impsy quipped, "Nice knowing ya, kid. There's not enough of your mother in you to sweet talk your way out of this one..."

The ominous silence that followed was broken by the heavy footsteps of Raphael emerging from his boudoir. His eyes swept over the scene of destruction, the line of his fallen statues a testament to the chaos that had unfolded in his absence. His gaze landed on the two culprits.

With a silent accusation, she slowly extended a finger toward Impsy.

"I know you aren't pointing that little thing at me, girl."

Raphael's presence loomed over them, his composure a thin veneer over the rising tide of his displeasure. "Chaos in this house is not something I will abide, even if caused by you," his voice controlled but edged with anger.

Impsy, undeterred by the gravity of the situation, tried to interject. "Oh come now, Raph, can't you see? She did you a favor, the things were gaudy!"

Raphael's eyes narrowed, and without raising his voice, he uttered a single, resonant word, "Enough." With a snap of his fingers, Impsy vanished, banished from the scene.

Turning back to his daughter, Raphael's scowl deepened. "I've given you free will when running through this house, yet you still wish to act like a little tyrant? Your actions have consequences, and it is high time you learn what that means." The disappointment in his voice was perhaps more cutting than any punishment he could devise.

As the echoes of Raphael's condemnation faded, the silence held a weight of its own. His daughter, his little treasure, felt a pang of guilt heavier than any of the golden statues that lay in ruin around her. Her eyes, so often aglow with joy, now shimmered with the sheen of unshed tears.

"Father, I..." her voice was a mere whisper, a stark contrast to the earlier clatter of her play. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

Raphael's features softened marginally as he took in the sight of his daughter's remorse. The anger that had been so near the surface was now slowly fading with her genuine regret. He knelt down to her level, the ruler of the house not too proud to meet his child eye to eye.

"Actions, my child, come with consequences," he started, his voice gentler now. "But the intention behind the action also matters. You did not mean to cause this damage, and that, at least, is a start."

He sighed, surveying the disarray before him. He often wonders if the pursuit of legacy through an heir is worth the sacrifice of peace and quiet. But then…

She wrapped her arms around his waist in a tight embrace, her small form seeking forgiveness in the only way she knew how.

Raphael felt the tension leave his body as he returned the embrace. This little child of his, though chaotic at times, was nothing but loyal to him.

And in that embrace, he found his answer.

His little treasure, his daughter… When the time came, she would help him rule well. Raphael realized that, despite the toppled statues and the occasional chaos, having an heir, having her as a loyal heir was indeed worth his time.

[childrenofcain-if]

Fuuuckk! *Throws some angst for W*

Childhood Friends to lovers are really my weaknesses when it comes to stories and I am left just craving for more when I see this trope because most of the time it's just never executed right. Forgotten Childhood Friend with the other pining for MC, while MC (can) remain obvious 👀👀👀 Now that's a great setting for angst if I ever saw one!

Because in a scenario where MC has a trinket, a stuffed toy, a keychain, and W sees it and freezes, because it's the same one they gave MC years ago. MC mistakes it for interest and tells them "Oh, I don't really know where I got this from but it looks cute, don't you think?"

Just *ASDFGHJKL* What would be their reaction? Because MC still kept something that symbolizes their time together. But on the other hand! MC forgot about them and only kept the trinkets!

Also crying over this song that reminds me of W. The story within the song is different but the longing and yearning is there that rips my fucking heart out. I could not find the song cover that I really liked on YouTube so, here's one that seems close.

https://youtu.be/YiVpWPkbdPY?si=R2csRdrSsRFsO9K6

Also I can't wait for Sept 22! So excited to play the demo!

the moment W spotted the red muppet, everything about them stilled—their breath, their posture, the casual air they usually carried around you. their hand froze mid-motion as they’d been reaching for something else, but now their fingers hovered above the clumsily stitched muppet, their gaze glued to it as if the sight had transported them somewhere else.

the stuffed elmo sat on the dresser, slouched and frayed at the edges, its stitched seams visible in uneven lines—clearly done by an unpracticed hand. it was amateurishly repaired, the kind of haphazard work a child might do when they were trying to fix something that was once beloved, not caring how it looked as long as it was whole again.

it was the same one. there was no mistaking it. the muppet’s orange nose was slightly off-center, where their stitches hadn’t lined up properly, and one eye was smaller than the other.

their heart clenched, an ache so familiar it was almost comforting, and for a second, they were eight again, sitting cross-legged on the floor of their childhood bedroom, hands trembling as they tried to patch the torn elmo plushie back together. it had been torn to shreds by paolo, your mom’s neighbor’s pitbull, and you’d cried—they hated seeing you cry.

the memory hit them like cold water, their body suddenly stiff, eyes wide as if they’d seen something that didn’t belong in the present.

and then, you speak, completely unaware of the weight they were carrying.

“oh, i see you found my favourite plushie. don’t really know where i got this from, but it looks cute, don’t you think?”

your voice was light, casual, almost dismissive as you twirled the stuffed toy in your hands. like it was just an object, a relic of some forgotten childhood. but for them, it was the artifact of a time when the world was bigger, when the two of you were inseparable, when they would’ve done anything to fix even the smallest thing for you.

W’s breath caught in their throat, and they had to force themselves to blink, to remember how to speak. their heart pounded, not from excitement, but from the disorienting rush of memories. they had given this to you. or tried to.

they had stitched it back together so carefully, spending hours making sure it was perfect before nervously handing it over. you’d smiled back then, said you liked it, and they’d believed it meant something. something more than just a token, more than just a toy.

but you didn’t remember. you didn’t even know where it came from. a part of them wishes you didn’t still have it. wishes you’d forgotten completely, because this—you keeping it, but not remembering them—is so much worse.

they swallowed hard, trying to keep their voice steady. “yeah, it’s... cute.” the word felt wrong in their mouth, like it was somehow betraying the weight that muppet plush carried for them.

their gaze lingered on it, their mind racing, wondering if you had kept it because you cared, or if it was just some forgotten relic of a time you no longer remembered.

you smiled, tilting your head. “it kind of feels like something special, you know? like it was given to me by someone important. i just wish i could remember who.”

W’s chest tightened, the claustrophobic feeling spreading through them. someone important. you didn’t remember them, but you still felt something. they looked at you, at the elmo plush dangling from your hand, its threadbare form a little sad, like a reflection of something lost. something that was once held together, but now, you didn’t even recognize the hands that put it back together.

they wanted to say something, wanted to tell you the truth, but the words tangled in their throat. what was the point? you didn’t remember, and the idea of reminding you now—of laying bare this vulnerable part of themself—felt utterly terrifying.

W laughed, though it sounded strained, and ran a hand through their blonde locks.

“i, uh…” they cleared their throat, glancing down, hands gripping the edge of their denim aviator jacket. “i used to know someone who had one just like that. torn by a dog, actually. i stitched it up for them.”

your head snapped up. there was something flickering behind your eyes, something W couldn’t quite read. it almost looked like jealousy, but that was ridiculous, wasn’t it? you couldn’t be jealous over a stupid story from childhood.

“really?” you asked, your voice carefully neutral. “who was it for?”

they paused, their heart hammering in their chest. they didn’t want to say it outright—they didn’t want to ruin this delicate, strange balance between you. so they shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. “just... someone i knew. a friend.”

you nodded, but there’s a glimmer in your eyes, something that was very close to envy.

“i bet they were really important to you, huh?” your voice has an edge, and W can hear the undercurrent of an unspoken emotion which you were trying to suppress.

they want to laugh, but it catches in their throat. “yeah,” they mutters, their gaze flicking to the floor. “they were.”

you glanced down at the toy again, running your fingers over the uneven stitching, and W’s stomach twisted. they wanted to reach out, to tell you it was theirs, that they’d sewn every stitch with clumsy hands, that it meant something to them because it had been for you, only for you. but instead, they just stood there, rooted to the spot, their mind spinning with the weight of what you didn’t know.

“was that friend really close to you?” you asked softly, your voice almost too quiet, as if you were afraid of the answer.

W froze, caught off guard by the question. they hadn’t expected that. they hadn’t expected you to ask, hadn’t expected you to care. but now, standing there with the past pressing down on them, they realized they couldn’t lie—not about this.

“they were... they meant a lot to me,” they said carefully, their voice barely above a whisper. they looked away, not wanting to see the confusion or the hurt or whatever it was that might show on your face. “it was a long time ago, though.”

you nodded slowly, though something about your posture had stiffened, like you were trying to process what they’d said, trying to make sense of it.

“i see,” you murmured, your eyes flicking back to the toy in your hands. “that’s really nice. i don’t really remember much about my childhood.”

W swallowed hard, feeling the weight of those words. you didn’t remember. of course you didn’t, the last summer you spent together was the darkest period of your life. how would you remember them, or the hours they’d spent trying to make that muppet perfect for you, or the way they’d felt when you smiled and said you liked it? and yet, you’d kept the plush. you’d kept it all these years, even though you had no idea it had been them.

“yeah,” they said quietly, their voice heavy with understanding and empathy. “i guess a lot of things get forgotten once you grow up.”

you didn’t respond, but you didn’t need to. the silence between you said enough—that painful, lingering silence that wrapped itself around the two of you like a python of what could’ve been.

the muppet sat in your lap, a symbol of a shared past that only one of you remembered, and W felt that ache again—that deep, hollow ache of being close to you but so far away. like you had travelled to the stars and they had no way of reaching you anymore.

they took a deep breath, trying to pull themself back together, trying to focus on the present, on the fact that you were still here, even if you didn’t remember.

“anyway,” W said, forcing a smile, “i’m glad you kept it. even if you don’t remember where it came from.”

you smiled, though it didn’t reach your eyes, and W wondered if some part of you did remember, somewhere deep down. whether it was an actual possibility or W’s wishful thinking, you didn’t say anything else about it, and neither did they.

and in the end, all W could do was smile back at you, pretending like it didn’t hurt. like they hadn’t been completely forgotten as well.

[charmercharm3r]

Masterlist

warnings: smutty thoughts, dom!chan, sub!felix, gender neutral reader, poly relationship, threesome, use of toys, oral (m receiving), cum eating

thinking about a bratty Felix not getting his way for once...

What a wonderful predicament you’d found yourself in. Your boyfriend trembling beneath you, his head hanging upside down off the bed with his tongue sticking out, his cock fit inside you snugly. There was the subtle vibration of the toy in his ass that had been placed there prior to you sitting atop him, feeling it softly through his body.

Felix was very adamant about how much he could take, though he always bit off more than he could chew.

He had been a brat all day, bugging you when you tried to do chores, being unnecessarily needy for attention, or whining about whatever minor thing had inconvenienced him. Usually, it didn’t bother you, you loved to take care of him, but you weren’t the only one on edge. Chan, the other partner of your relationship, was also having a bad day. Things weren’t going very well for him at work and it carried that weight even when he came home.

Initially, you sighed in relief seeing your boyfriend come through the front door, but it was written all over his face, he wasn’t in the mood for playing. Neither were you, only summarizing your other boyfriend’s behavior today and the pair of you agreeing on how to go about it.

Chan always took the lead when initiating anything in the bedroom that was to be… say a bit on the meaner side. He filled the dominant role so well in your complex relationship, it was natural for Felix to avoid eye contact as soon as he saw Chan step into the bedroom. Without even saying anything, the younger was already falling into line. You never understood how he did it, but gave him a pat on the back as you joined them.

Felix had given you a quick, knowing glance and realized he had fucked up.

That’s how Felix ended up on his back, vibrator in his ass and you cock warming him. Not your best idea in terms of positioning for getting to orgasm, but it wasn’t about you. Not now, at least.

Chan had been sitting in the corner of the room just watching for what felt like ages. You weren’t going to disobey him and use your blonde boyfriend for your benefit, but you certainly had more leeway at the moment.

“Baby, c’mere. I want a kiss,” you cooed, reaching your hand out for him. Felix’s eyes were watering, looking in the direction of the brunette who had decided to finally join the fun. Chan took his time, drinking in the view of you waiting patiently and Felix doing his best not to cum. In his eyes, it was beautiful, he wanted to commemorate the both of you for being so good. But after all, this was a punishment.

Not just for Felix, but you as well. Granted, Chan wasn’t mad, but he wasn’t happy, either. Coming home from work in a bad mood, he didn’t want to hear you complain about your boyfriend being annoying. He just wanted to have a nice dinner, take a bath, have a cuddle. So this was, albeit not as severe, a punishment of sorts for both of his partners.

Felix did his best to keep his hips still, but the slow, steady vibrations pressing against his prostate have been keeping him on the verge of what feels like a dry orgasm. He’d been leaking so much precum that he was sure you were filled to the brim. Oh, the sweet clench of your warm walls drawing out deep, whiny moans every few moments. As Chan came to the side of the bed and caressed your cheek, leaning forward to meet him halfway, you convulsed tighter around the blonde’s cock, making him cry out the loudest he had so far. It was cute, his little pleas for mercy, though cute only got him so far.

Chan kept the kiss short and sweet, calmly slipping his tongue into your mouth and easily winning that battle by putting a hand on your shoulder and forcing you to sit fully on Felix’s dick. Just the little slide of him deeper into you made you moan into the brunette’s mouth before he pulled away.

You didn’t know what Chan was thinking, but you could tell he was frustrated in more ways than one as he took his red, leaking cock in hand, lazily stroking himself and standing over Felix’s head. Felix instinctively opened his mouth, wet and inviting. He always was good with his tongue, always knowing how to use his pretty plump lips.

You assumed that was his punishment, being used like a toy while also being filled with one, but yours, you weren’t sure.

Chan rubbed the tip of his cock on the younger’s lips, smearing the milky white substance like lipstick. It made him look so pretty, you bit your lip and watched the rest unfold, sitting politely and unmoving as your only job was to hold Felix down. You certainly did a good job, despite how loud he was, Felix didn’t move an inch. He took every thrust of Chan’s unrelenting cock and enjoyed the suffocation of his balls smothering his nose when Chan would sheath himself entirely, feeling the bulge of his cockhead in the blonde’s throat. Felix would choke, gag, whimper until his eyes started to well up, tears dripping down his face. When he started to cry, Chan looked at you and nodded, “go ahead, sweetheart. Just don’t let him cum.”

Felix loudly whimpered and reached for your hand. He knew this was one of your weaknesses, hand holding during sex. But now he was using it to get out of his punishment, and you wouldn’t let yourself sink down with him. Despite knowing Felix had an agenda when intertwining your fingers, you held on just as tight for your own self indulgence.

Smiling at you again, Chan filled Felix’s mouth as you raised your hips and slammed them back down. The blonde was a crying mess, uncaring about how loud he was being. His moans were like heavenly bells, voice falling down and up in volume as Chan abused his throat. Doubled now was the lewd wetness bouncing off the walls as you rode him to your heart’s content. You could still feel the dull vibrations through his pelvis, helping you get further along as Felix used every muscle in his body to repress his ever building high.

You wished you had thought to bring your phone into the room to eternalize the view before you. Chan had leaned over Felix and was now resting his elbows on either side of the blonde’s torso, close enough that you reached down to cup his cheek for another kiss. Chan’s hips were pulling all the way out and throttling down into Felix’s face, both of them now gutterally groaning in pleasure. Even if Felix couldn’t do anything about his being denied, he loved the build up just as much.

That being said, it was gratifying watching your two lovers enjoying themselves, losing themselves even. You could’ve cum from just watching them, having Felix’s cock in you providing that much more relief. Chan delivered a last few hard thrusts before hastily sitting back and pumping himself to completion into your boyfriend’s mouth, to which Felix happily kept his mouth open for. He lapped him up like a dog and swallowed every drop. Even after Chan had finished, the blonde didn’t stop, suckling him like his favorite lollipop. The look of pure bliss and relief on Chan’s face as his head fell back and eyes closed, the desperation to please with tears staining Felix’s face, you got in maybe five more full lifts of your ass slapping back down onto his pelvis before you body was overcome in heat and pleasure. Every muscle in your body somehow relaxed and froze solid at the same time, clenching helplessly around Felix’s dick until your orgasm subsided.

You didn’t move after the high dissipated, thinking that the warmth between your legs was just body heat and sweat.

“Oh no,” Chan’s voice feigned sympathy, faking a pout, “our baby boy came.”

“N— no, no! I didn’t! It’s precum, I promise!”

“C’mon now,” Chan mockingly wiped just a dribble of the ring of cum around Felix’s mouth, bringing it to your lips for you to suck away. Sweet as always. 

As you pulled away with a pop, you licked your lips and smiled down at him, “you wanted this, angel. Be a good boy for us. Besides, Channie hasn’t gotten to fuck you yet.”

-

A/N: may or may not have come across a nsfw audio that sounded a little toooooo much like poor lix...I do not take any responsibility for the damage this does sdkjfkdjskf

tags: @sensitiveandhungry @babebatter @aliferousminho @changbinluvr @epiphanynaffit @fawnpeaks @linovely @dumplinbokkieracha @finnydraws @naturules

[freeuselandonorris]

hhhhnnnnnffffff fic ask game i think i’d die if u flip flopped is it cold in the water?

oh oh OHHH anon the excitement i felt when this came into my inbox thank uuuu!! this fic is so so close to my heart.

someone else has also requested this and i had so much fun writing it that i'm going to do another scene from later on in the fic, but for now, this is the first scene from oscar's pov.

cw for consensual non-consent!

He can hear Lando getting out of the shower, singing along to the synth line of whatever music he’s playing, and the sheer innocence of it makes Oscar’s heart ache. 

It takes an effort of will to focus himself on the task at hand. To not just say hey Lando, let myself in, hope you don’t mind. 

Oscar feels the ripple of shock that goes through Lando when he grabs him, starting from the point where his palm’s pressed over his mouth and going right down to his toes. He presses until he can feel the blunt shapes of Lando’s teeth through his lips, muffling the sounds he’s trying to make, and says: “Stop struggling. It’ll be better if you don’t struggle.”

He hadn’t been at all sure about the idea at first, when Lando had brought it up. Oscar considered himself, at heart, a nice person. Certainly not capable of – that. But it was just play-acting, Lando had assured him; sexy roleplay like playing doctors and nurses, just a bit more. Edgy. 

He’d thought about it, read about it, shaped it in his head. And now he’s here, in Lando’s hallway, with his spare key in one pocket and a bundle of stolen zipties in the other. A perfectly-ironed pillowcase from the linen closet tucked into his waistband. A roll of duct tape around one wrist. A sick, giddy twist in his stomach.

Without warning, Lando goes limp in his grip, slumping back against his chest. It hits Oscar how easy it is to manhandle him, despite the fact that they’re not hugely mismatched in terms of height and weight. He’s strong, and Lando’s scared, or pretending to be. Oscar tightens his core and knows, deep and sick in his heart, that he could overpower Lando. 

He also knows that if Lando starts talking, he’ll lose confidence. He’s clutching the persona to himself like a shield, but it only works when Lando can’t pick holes in it. 

“Don’t talk,” he says, and without giving Lando any time to figure out what’s happening, he drags the pillowcase out of his back pocket, snaps it at his side to unfold it – Lando flinches at the sound – and drags it over Lando’s head. 

It snags on Lando’s nose, scrapes down his cheeks. He hears Lando start to say something, unintelligible and high-pitched. He’d be mad about that, wouldn’t he, if he was – if it was real. He’d punish Lando for disobeying his demand. Scare him, make him realise he’s not fucking about.

Oscar grasps a handful of the pillowcase into the nape of Lando’s neck and twists his wrists, pulling the material taut across Lando’s face. 

He’d tried it out himself, feeling like a lunatic in his bedroom with a pillowcase over his head, but he could breathe through it, that was the main thing. 

“I said don’t talk.” 

He has to let go of Lando to get at the end of the duct tape, half-expects him to run or yank the pillowcase off immediately. But he stays where he is, chest heaving with his panicked breaths. He looks different already. Holding himself small and scared, cowering in on himself.

Oscar squares his shoulders, pulls his spine to its fullest extension so his shadow looms big across the light filtering through the pillowcase. Hopes it’s the last thing Lando sees before he wraps the tape across his eyes.

Lando looks terribly vulnerable when Oscar’s done with him.

He doesn’t look like Lando at all, now – faceless, any rich young guy with a personal trainer and designer loungewear. His head looks borderline monstrous, taped up like a discarded Christmas tree, and the part of Oscar that knows this is all fake aches for him.

“That okay?” he says quietly. 

He’d mapped out the shape of Lando’s face as he’d wrapped, made sure not to cover his nostrils, but it’s surprisingly hard to tell in the moment, all his careful plans fraying at their edges.

Lando nods, and Oscar takes a moment to breathe. He touches the back of Lando’s neck in acknowledgement, a silent reassurance that they both understand the terms of engagement here. Lines himself up behind Lando, anticipating the way he does in the car. Accesses that cold, cruel part of himself and asks himself what it would do next, if it could do anything.

Because he can, now, can’t he? Do anything. To Lando.

fic ask game!

[bittersw33t-lotus]

Gatoooo

Tommyinnit x Reader

CW: None just fluff and swearing b/c it’s Tommy

A/N: this is just a quick little blurb I made, also I’m Kinda basing the cat off my cat :)

Edited? No

The first time Tommy came over to your house was when he first met your fur baby.

You an Tommy were just relaxing on your bed watching tv (Hamilton-). As you watched the film a realization came to Tommy’s mind, “Hey, I just realized, I still haven’t met your cat.” He says looking at you as you look around your room and to the cat post where your she would usually be. “Huh… She’s not here so she must be outside right now.” You said, as on que, a blob of white pounced on you bed startling Tommy. “Oh there you are bee!” You say as Bee made her way to you until her eyes landed on Tommy. She seemed to freeze in time as her Irises shrunk into a thin line and her body seemed on guard like coming face to face with a threat. Bee’s icy blue eyes glared into Tommy’s soul as the reminded as stiff as a statue.

A long pause of silence stretched between the three of you.

“whats he doin?” Tommy spoke, feeling uneasy with the feline staring at him. He remained frozen with the same tensity as Bee.

You pet Bee to try and calm her but remained put her body remained tense in place as she continued to stare at Tommy without blinking. “Bee, stop.” You spoke calmly. Tommy then darted his eyes at you still waiting for an answer.

“Sorry, it’s just, Bee doesn’t like anyone else in the room, especially on the bed.” You said as you try and pick up Bee but her nails dug into your bed sheets making it seem like the fabric was glued to her paws as you lifted her up.

Tommy bursted out laughing at the sight which seemed to snap Bee out of it as the feline scrambled out of your arms, retracting her claws and releasing the sheets before jumping off the bed and residing at your bedroom door. “What the fuck is wrong with him!” Tommy cackled loudly as bee confined to stare at him from below. “‘Her.’ And I told you, bee isn’t a fan of strangers in the room.” You corrected before tuning back to Bee who resided in the corner like a wallflower. “Bee it’s okay, this is Tommy.” You tried to comforted the cat as you lay your hand on Tommy’s forearm until Bee hissed at Tommy. “I don’t think she likes me near you.” Tommy spoke. Deciding to test the waters he wrapped his arms around your waist bringing you closer to him, the action caused bee to start growling as her tail swished with aggression confirming Tommy’s suspicions. He chuckles as he brings you onto his lap with your back pressed against his chest. “Yeah bitch, your bitch is my bitch now.” He snickers as Bee just continued to stare Tommy down.

“Tommy please” you sighed as bee spent the rest of the afternoon sulking on the floor in the corner just glaring at Tommy.

But there was no need to worry, as you and Tommy got ready for bed you laid down with you back against Tommy’s chest, your tv playing a show you and Tommy just starting getting into. You could tell Tommy was growing sleepy as his hand he had on top of yours his grip began to loosen and his breathing evening out peacefully. You could feel sleep overcome you as well as your eyelids grew heavy until you felt a weight up against your tummy and soft fur on your arm. You looked down to see a ball of white beside you. You smiled and began to pet Bee as she began to purr which seemed to bring Tommy aware to his surroundings waking up a bit still hazy. “Can I per her?” He asked in a low sleepy tone. You hummed a yes scratching underneath bees chin. “Just be slow when you do.” You whispered as Tommy cautiously brought his hand over to bee who’s eyes were squinted shut as sleep began to take over her. Until her eyes shot open the moment she felt on other hand on her fur. Tommy’s hand froze as bee pulled her head back to examine his hand and sniff it before suddenly she began to press and snuggle against his hand. “Wow she likes you now.” You giggled as Bee’s purring increased. Tommy chuckled and continued to pet Bee snuggling into you more.

It was a peaceful silence as you turned off the tv letting the vibrations and buzzing sounds of Bee’s purrs lull Tommy and you to sleep bee snuggled on your hands with Tommy’s on top of her body.

[chaoticyumelikes]

Dark Danny x Gn! Reader

Warnings: this is NOT a healthy relationship.

"Phantom" is a word that was almost considered taboo to even utter in fear that it would summon the very being every human has learnt to fear.

The entity who knows no empathy as he spreads his chaos and destruction, playing with every life along the way.

The only safe place was behind the shield. Most civillians were safe there and you were no exception. This doesn't mean of course the Phantom wouldn't test the shield time and time again fighting with Valerie and others who would defend it.

But this time Valerie was on the floor, knocked out cold, while The Phantom was looming over the other fighters. Suddenly you moved automatically to her aid. You don't know how to fight nor how the Hell did you ever think this was a good idea but you reached her and tried to drag her away towards the safety of the wall and that's when he noticed you in your struggle. He slowly made his way to you chuckling, a sound devoid of any happiness yet amusement.

"Need any help with that?" he pointed at the injured Valerie as if he was trying to help you move furniture.

"S-Stay away!" the weakness in your voice was evident and he laughed mockingly raising his hands in false defense.

"Oh no! Please have mercy on me!"

"Please! J-Just s-stay away!"

"Oh? First you threaten me and now you beg? And here I was just trying to help you with that... Soon to be dead weight."

At this you shielded Valerie while still trying to drag her away.

"Awwww~ Isn't friendship so great? ~~" But thankfully for you the cavalry arrived and while some fought the menace others helped you get Valerie to safety.

"Another time then?" he smiled at you as his attention was now on the new armed targets.

After all the wounded were safe, Valerie chewed your ear off about how dangerous and empty headed going out to get her was. She made it clear at least five times how horrible she would feel if something had happened to you at the hands of that monster.

Your cellphone buzzed with notifications but you only looked at it once Valerie had dismissed you. You looked at the device and noticed messages from an unknown number.

"Monster? Well that's a bit harsh don't you think?"

"What the - -" before you could finish the unknown sender kept going.

"I mean she could at least be thankful I let her live. And be thankful for you for saving her from being a stain on the pavement."

Your eyes went wide at this, it was HIM, you felt the urge to go to Valerie only for the phone to buzz again with a new message." Ah ah ah! I wouldn't do that if I were you~" and attached came a gif, a silly figure wagging their finger no." If someone were to know we are in contact... Well not only they would bitterly regret it but could you imagine if they think we are working together? "

Before you could protest that there's no proof of that, your phone began acting crazy and suddenly it was like a whole message history that never happened appeared on your screen.

" How about now? More believable? " your eyes scanned the made up messages in absolute horror about the implications.

"Oh and btw" he wrote "Do not 'ghost' me. I do not like to be ignored."

From that moment on you never knew peace.

From time to time he would message you. Some messages were innocent enough. Asking how you have been, what was your favorite color and so on and so forth.... Selfies of him flying over some actually beautiful scenery with cheesy lines such as "thinking of you!" or "isn't this masterpiece beautiful? I mean me not the landscape! 😉" You simply couldn't piece together if this was a mind game or if he was just that bored and wanted a friend.... A thought you quickly discarded when his messages were dangerous. Sometimes, not often, he would take a picture and make you decide the fate of whatever it was. He would also give you a time limit for your answer. Needless it is to say that if you'd dare ignore him he would destroy whatever the real content of those pictures were.

●Whenever he fights near the shield and you happen to be watching he puts on an extra flare to all his fighting moves showing himself off to you. He thrives on all of your attention. So much so that if he is close enough you can see him winking at you or blowing you a kiss. He also tries to coax you out of that silly shield, either by talking to you, luring you to him, or by hurting someone making you come out of hiding to be the wonderful little hero. Only to feel the subtle graze of his claws on your skin or hair making you run away faster back to safety.

●Some have noticed his attention on you. Enough that many cut all ties to you due to fear. Others consider using you as bait but thankfully Valerie is now overprotective of you and shuts those plans down.

●If someone were to hurt you... Even emotionally.... Oh boy...He will make them suffer. Do not misinterpret him however. It is not such a thing as good will on his behalf but rather his narcissistic nature to protect what he considers his. And he DOES consider you HIS. Whether as a pet or a toy it remains everyone's guess.

●Valerie however has strong theories as to why he is behaving like this so she absolutely FORBIDS you from trespassing the shield.

●Meantime he keeps trying to lure you out. His messages inviting you to come to him. He promised he wouldn't hurt you. He would take you to see all the places he'd take pictures of. Were you to accept his invites he would change his ways, he'd make far much less victims.

●He began to make little trades with you. A few minutes of your time with him out of the shield in exchange for his attacks to be softer or non-existent. At this type of stakes you felt like you had no choice but to sneak out of the safety of the shield to go to him. He would, of course help you out at sneaking around by messing with the security cameras. Now within his grasp he would usually fly with you away to some location or the other to talk privately. It is innocent enough and people get to be safe from him so win win.

●Each time he sneaks you back in, he gets more and more reluctant to let you go. He always gives you some poor excuse as to why he takes the longer flight there (like the wind being too strong), why he takes a lot of time before setting you down (you are just so warm just a few more minutes).

●He takes his possession of you increasingly serious. He knows one day he won't let you get back but, for you he is patient. He wants you to go to him. To beg him to take you away just as fervently as you beg him to spare something or someone.

●The day finally came. He had pinned Valerie to a wall by her neck and turned to you. All you could do was only beg for her fate. He then proposed a trade. Valerie's life in exchange for your undying loyalty to him. Despite Valerie's desperate pleas for you not to do that, while Dark Danny's fist was increasingly closing around her neck, you finally gave in. You looked into his eyes as you accepted his terms, your words between fear and tears sounding so sweet to his ears. His hand released Valerie's throat and he wrapped it around you pulling you close to him peppering kisses all over your face. "Good." he said as you finally let your stubborness crumble into the very ground you are leaving with him. Valerie stumbled coughing crying for him to give you back. His laughter a nightmarish sound to her as he flies away with you, his very own extention of himself.

[imadethisaccounttpostonething]

i have opinions on half the new songs from hazbin and i'm telling them to the void known as the internet SPOILERS

don't worry guys. i know, i know you've ALL been waiting for MY opinion on the last two episodes- me, someone who doesn't even have a pfp picked out for this blog yet and whos only post is a bad edit i posted just to get the hyperfixation thought out of my head but- you've waited long eneugh. i'm here! i'm FINALLY going to share all my thoughts on the last two episodes of Hazbin Hotel... well, okay, mainly the four songs cause that's more my expertice but. whatever. buckle in bestie, we're going for a ride...

like i said, i'm mostly a song girlie, and as established you don't know who i am so me going "oh i thought that one line was cute" probably won't matter to you. so imma skip right to the first song, "Out For Love." AND HI! HELLO! I HAVE OPINIONS! THERE ALL NEGATIVE! okay, that's not true. i like... the person who plays Camilla's voice?? i think she sounds... nice? but oh my god this song was just. such a missed oppurtunity?

i already had to cut this section down cause i spent so much time making a list of what purpose musical songs tend to serve, but considering my point is that "Out For Love" doesn't do any of those things, i don't think i should waste so much breath on it. like. every form of media has their pros and cons on how to deliver inforation. books you can have the characters full un filtered thoughts. movies you can see all their facial reactions and little moments. musicals? in musicals, you get a song about them. and these songs, espicially in a show with a tight 22 minute an episode deadline and only 8 episodes total, EVERY song has to pull its weight and teach either us the auidence something or them the characters. and by the latter half of the season, it really needs to do both! and Vaggie, is a character who DESPERATLY needed a character establishing song and... didn't really get one. yeah, theres "Whatever It Takes" but.. she has to split that with Carmilla, who... really REALLY didn't need both the songs in that episode. everything we learned about in her half of the song could have just been a pretty quick conversation with Zariel. and as she tells him that she had to do whatever it takes to protect those we love, THEN we go back to Vaggie and she has her whole own song capatlizing on a similar theme, but also.. more? cause. we KNOW Vaggie loves Charlie. that's like. one of the few things we do know about her. and the thing i hate about "Out For Love" is that it doesn't tell us anything else about Vaggie or even Carmilla! AND IT DOESN'T TEACH VAGGIE ANYTHING! in "Whatever It Takes" Vaggie says she'll be Charlie's armor, which is probably the biggest piece of information we get about Vaggie as a person and who she is. cause she said armor. not a sword, that cuts the danger away. not a partner, that helps their lover through the danger. but rather, armor, that stops the danger from hurting their love, even if that ends up damaging the armor. what she could have learned from Carmilla, and what i think they were trying to get at but didn't, is she has to fight like she has something worth going home for? she can't be Charlie's armor cause she isn't indestructable. if she keeps going to take every hit for Charlie she's going to crumble. if THIS was a duet between Vaggie and Carmilla where Vaggie comes in with her martyr-istic opinions about herself towards Charlie, and Carmilla comes in like "girl. no." THAT would have been just. so much. better? cause with how it is, wtf did Vaggie learn???? like i get Carmilla tught her her fighting strat, but idc about that. the song came across as teaching her a moral lesson but it didn't. it's been WELL established that Vaggie loves Charlie. god. i just. really wish it was better. also, the chorus tries to rhyme "If you want to fight without gloves you better be fighting for love" and i just. like okay homie.

Rosie's advice to Charlie about her relationship was fine and all but god why didn't Charlie and Vaggie have a fucking song about it?? like, i'll get into it in a second but my saphic ass has been waiting all season to get my lesbian duet and i got a thirty second reprise of someone elses song instead of the apology/acceptence duet where they reaffirm their love or whatever. and i'm blaming Rosie. ... which i instantly feel bad about cause i really like Rosie and the song she got out of Charlie but. i have to blame someone so. sorry girlie. i don't really have a lot to say about "Ready For This" mostly cause i've listened to the trailer so many times i just think of it as the trailer song? idk, i did like it but it didn't really hit me as much as i thought it would. i mostly wrote this cause i was so mad about Vaggie's two songs and the other two i think are fine. but i do think Alastor's part was really good cause it helps forshadow whatever the fuck is going on with him. love that creepy bastard.

uggggggh. okay. listen. before i say anything else, i want it well established i'm gay af. i came out of the womb with my Doc Martens and thirty different flannels on and ready for action. my hair is short, i played soccer, insert whatever any other saphic/lesbian stereotype you want. go crazy. i've heard worse from people i know better. you can't hurt me. my point is... i was really hoping to get a Charlie and Vaggie duet, and.. i really wasn't expecting one. so when Vaggie walked into the room with Charlie and music started playing i got so excited....... only for it to be thirty seconds long and it being the reprise of Lucifer's father daughter song. like. am i the only one noticing the pattern of Vaggie picking up a second half of songs about a parent loving a child but applying it to Charlie instead? like... i thought this was cute!! but. there was so much they could have sung about to each other or establish for one another or prepare for or just. do. but it was... a reprise of Lucifer's song??? when it ended, i audily said alone in my living room. "awww. i mean. i'll take it". and that's. pretty much my thoughts still i guess but a little more bitterly? like. Dusk and Angel Dust got a whole duet about being losers together (which was also great and i do ship them at least a little) but the canon and supposedly most developed ship got. a. thirty second reprise as their only duet in the whole season. yay.....

finale was good! i also think Nifty killing Adam in the exact same fashion she stabbed all those already dead angels was like. the most fitting way for him to die if not by Vaggie's hand, and sense Vaggie already got at least slight vengence against Lute, this felt good. OH ANOTHER THING ABOUT "Out For Love"! THEY KEEP SAYING VAGGIE IS CLEARLY ALL ABOUT VENGENCE WHEN SHE VERY CLEARLY ISN'T??? LIKE NEVER ONCE HAVE WE ESTABLISHED VAGGIE IS IN IT FOR THE VENGENCE! ITS BEEN ALL ABOUT CHARLIE. BUT THE SONG IS ALL "OH STOP BEING ABOUT VENGENCE AND KILL FOR CHARLIE" AND IT JUST- okay yeah whatever we've established i don't like that song, i need to calm down. i'm gonna listen to my thirty second saphic reprise that i'll take i guess. maybe i'll share more opinions when i've processed anything better. maybe i won't. peace out homie.

[dentist-brainsurgeon]

All things considered yesterday was probably the best case scenario

The Good:

My sister didn't know that my brother and I were showing up so she got the double whammy surprise, she damn near fainted and cried lol. I gave her a massive hug and picked her up(I should not have done that, my weight limit is 20 pounds💀) had some bonding moments, I was apprehensive about seeing my brother considering the baggage™️and just his non response to what I drew for him a few months back but to my surprise he played nice and did thank me for drawing that and we talked about nerd shit a lot, I had a Rusty from Armored Core keychain on me and he pointed it out and talked about what kits we like running in AC6. And since this was in Cali traffic was abysmal, I had forgotten how bad it was to get anywhere, so like 3 hours after the graduation came dinner Time, to the place we would always go to for celebrations, except they had a rebranding that sucks ass but w/e. My brother, dad and I all were chatting about nerd shit and after a time came gift time, and when she opened the gift I got her, she almost cried!! Bc it was something that had a lot of story behind it and incredibly hard to find(she also had a hard time looking for it for years!) We were all super excited and thrown back at what it was and she gave me a big teary eyed hug 🥺 and my brother gave me a fist bump and a hug about that too, so a BIG winner winner chicken dinner moment. While my mom wasn't paying attention my sister gave me her number!! And my brother wanted to be friends on discord (we'll see how that goes ig)

The bad:

My mom has not changed a bit, color me surprised. I never looked her in the eye and stiffened up any time she touched me and just gave very short flat answers any time she tried to talk to me, I didn't want to cause a scene(it's my sister's graduation so that was a big no no for me) and she made her very awful racist, sexist "statistically you should've been pregnant in high school and had your third kid by now(me), you should be in prison(my brother) and you should be on drugs(my sister)🤪🤪🤪" joke(that really wasn't originally a "joke") and I mentioned to both my siblings how she hadn't changed a bit after all these years. During dinner time she ordered pizza n salad, and my sister wanted to order something, cuz y'know, ITS HER DAY, but mom wouldn't let her, I wanted to order her food for her but knowing mom, I didn't want it to be a problem at dinner or after dinner, so I ended up not ordering for my sister. Another thing, I don't remember what the conversation was, but my mom blurred out "oh you can't ruin my, I mean her day like that 🤪" and my sister looked so disgusted, and I gave her a knowing but reassuring look and nod, and not long after that my mom said once my sister turns 18 she's going to become a raging alcoholic and do lines of coke off a strippers dick amongst a lot of other crude statements that would be bad any other day but just downright awful oh her 17yo daughters graduation, absolutely deranged woman, and I gave my sister yet another knowing look. I can't wait til my sister gets out of there by any means necessary, I do hope this whole ordeal is a wake up call to both my siblings that maybe our one shared parent is just revolting and maybe they can distance themselves from her eventually. My sister is such a sweetie, she doesn't deserve this and it's such a shame no matter how much our mom can pretend and manipulate people into believing she's grown, she has not changed, not moved a centimeter and she's nearing 60 at this point

[lumosinlove]

Vaincre

Details and full fic on Ao3 

~

April Part Two

~

Oh, this is gonna be a big one, isn’t it, Lee?

Sure is. We’ve got—well, I’ll say a complete top line. Black and O’Hara tearing it up as usual, but we’ll be missing sorely someone who’ll be across the ice this time, eh?

That’s right, Logan Tremblay—oh, there he is now. Skating out in blue.

“Your New York Rangers…” came the drawn out roar around Madison Square Garden.

Remus shifted back and forth on his skates. He could already feel the coolness of the ice from down the tunnel. He could feel Sirius behind him, doing the same thing.

“All right, boys, big game,” Thomas’ voice came from somewhere closer to the front of the line. “Big game, big game!”

Coach Weasley confessed in his pre-game interview that Winter was supposed to start tonight in net, but it’ll be Knut instead. He didn’t go into details, but it’s not a secret that Winter’s been battling injuries for quite a few seasons now.

It’s true, Dean. But Knut has been proving himself over and over again. We’ve heard from his teammates how important he is in the room, also how hard he is on himself after a loss. Tell me, Dean, we see this a lot from net minders. We see the way they place weight on themselves—Kasey Winter, too. Do you think that’s something Knut will have to manage down the line?

You know, Lee, I think he’s a kid. He’s so young—so much of the Lions team is so young—hell, their Captain is so young. I think its in their nature to be hard on themselves, they’ve all been working for this life for a long time. That isn’t to say I don’t think you can be too hard on yourself. And that’s tricky territory, especially given the fact that—now, I don’t want to say this, I really don’t—but given the fact that Knut could be looking at the starting spot soon.

Oh, yeah.

Madison Square Garden booed when they skated out, and the rattle of Sergei knocking the pile of pucks down off the boards for warm-ups was drowned out. Remus gathered one for himself, pushing hard around the back of the goal before tucking it neatly into the upper crossed corner of the still empty net. The music boomed, some lyric-less bass-heavy beat that Remus could tune right out. He didn’t look across the ice, to the blur of blue jerseys just at the corner of his vision. Sirius stayed at his heels, pulling to a hard stop just beside him.

“Seventy-one,” he said. “I didn’t think about the number.”

“What?” Remus asked, looking up at him. Sirius only nodded across the ice, and Remus took a breath, and then looked. He found Logan almost immediately, TREMBLAY in white across his shoulders rather than black, and, below—

Remus frowned, before realizing. Artemi Panarin already wore ten. Now, Logan wore 71 on his back.

“Leo’s 1, Harz’s backwards,” Sirius said, and then turned to smile at Remus, tapped a glove over where his necklace rested. “Guess you’re not the only one who likes to play with numbers.”

“Weird, huh?” Leo said as he skated up beside them, mask propped on top of his head. He jerked his chin across the ice. “He’s always been ten. In school and everything. Ask Finn.”

“Really weird,” Remus said, and Sirius gave him a loving nudge before skating off for his routine, Leo towards the goal. Remus headed for his usual spot in one of the corners, where he bounced a puck off the boards a few times, but at the last second, he changed directions. If he couldn’t change his routine, he didn’t like that. He took a long, slow breath and thought of earlier that morning, Sirius’ warm arms locked around him. He thought of how well Sirius knew him. How thoroughly. He tried to keep that thought playing through his mind, willed it to be louder than the music, than the chorus of winwinwin in his head.

Remus skated to the bench instead, lightly checking into Finn, who resolutely had his back to the ice.

“How’s he look?” Finn asked, squirting water into his mouth.

Remus glanced over Finn’s shoulder, only to see Alex skating up to them, coming to hard stop that sprayed Finn’s lower body with ice.

“Ugh,” Finn said and squeezed the water bottle at his brother’s chest, squirting the front of his jersey. Remus just laughed, knowing that the cameras were catching this for sure.

“Hi, baby brother,” Alex said, throwing an arm around his neck. “So glad you’re here. Ready to get your ass kicked, bud?”

“You wouldn’t kick my ass,” Finn said, and pointed to the top of the stands where the Rangers’ team box was. “Not while Mom and Dad are watching. We both know only I could ever get away with that.”

Alex just grinned and sent a wink to Remus. “He wishes. Hey.” He knocked his and Finn’s visors together. “Gotta tell you something.”

“No,” Finn pretended to put his gloves over his ears. “La-la-la, I don’t know what you’re gonna do but I’m not falling for it.”

“No, really.”

“La-la-la—”

Alex slapped at the side of his head. “It’s about Tremz.”

Finn lowered his hands, still looking suspicious. “What?”

“Don’t mind if Sir Lupin hears?”

“Oh, believe me,” Finn said, sending an identical grin to Remus. “Loops has heard it all. What, you weirdo, spit it out.”

Alex raised his glove near his mouth for privacy in case any cameras were on them, but he was still smiling—Remus actually thought his eyes looked a little bright. “In the locker room yesterday, Saint was talking about some book series and Lo just basically goes—” Alex gave Finn’s shoulders a little happy shake. “Oh, yeah, my boyfriend loves those.”

Remus’ heart squeezed as he saw Finn’s eyes go a little unfocused on the ice. He set the water bottle down on the boards, swallowed, and closed his eyes, like some final part of him surrendered to the belief that it was real. That this was real. Remus remembered that feeling well.

“Yeah?” Finn breathed.

“Yeah,” Alex said, softer this time. “Yeah.” He smiled, pushed Finn’s helmet down over his eyes, and skated a few strides backwards towards his own side of the ice. Finn pushed his helmet back up and watched him go.

“You fucking crying, Al?” Finn laughed, but he sounded choked up himself.

“Yes!” Alex called. “Love ya!”

Looks like the O’Hara brothers already have their competitive streak up and ready. As usual. Hey, what a treat it’d be to see those two play together on an Olympic team or something, eh, Dean?

Finn cleared his throat. Remus saw him finally look for Logan, saw him find him on the ice—saw Logan find him back and raise his stick with a soft look. “I love you, too.”

Before he crossed the blue line, Alex picked up a water bottle and squirted it at Kasey, who barely flinched. He was dressed in gear, but playing back-up tonight, baseball cap shading his eyes. “What’s cookin’, good lookin’?”

Kasey just shook his head, smile small, brown eyes challenging. “Rangers stew.”

Alex scoffed, but skated closer to knock their helmets together gently, before darting off towards Montague in the Rangers goal just as the whistle blew, signaling the end of warm-ups.

The first few face-offs were a blur of adrenaline. Remus watched Sirius line up against Zibanejad. He kept waiting for Finn and Logan to end up shoulder to shoulder, but it never happened. Each time Logan was on the ice, Coach called Finn off of it. Thomas and Olli hardly let Logan near Leo’s net, either, double-manning him, predicting his every move. Remus saw Sirius and Pascal share slightly wolfish grins when Logan hit his stick against the boards in frustration.

Looks like Tremblay’s having himself quite the time out there against his former teammates. Haven’t seen him share the ice with his old college line mate yet. Had a bit of a tussle with Dumais, though, ha! Do you think that’s on purpose?

Tremblay and O’Hara go so far back, man, so much history. Played together at Harvard. Best friends, too. I don’t know why you’d keep two opponents who know each other’s game so well off of the same ice. I’d say you’d want that advantage, but, then again, that could backfire real quick, huh, Lee? I suppose I just want the show! Ha!

Oh, I’d say so.

“Jesus, Montague’s on tonight,” Sirius panted between drinks of water as the whistle blew for a deflection over the glass by the Rangers.

Remus nodded as he dragged a towel over his visor, clearing any sweat and steam away. “So’s Nut.”

“Ouais.” Sirius held his hand out for the towel and Remus handed it over. “We’re both locking each other down.”

“Better than the alternative.”

Sirius shrugged noncommittally and knocked on Remus’ helmet, making him laugh.

“That was an observation, not a jinx.”

Sirius didn’t look convinced, only glanced up at the clock. Six minutes to go in the first and no score. “If you say so.”

The Garden was still chanting Saint’s name after that last save. Saint, Saint, Saint, like they had stumbled in on some holy ritual. Remus took a moment to gaze up and around at the seats. Never in his wildest dreams had he ever thought he would get to play here after his injury. Never again, and now he had done it a few times. He didn’t think the effect was likely to ware off anytime soon. He watched Logan skate out, watched him check what line he was against—Pascal’s. Pascal said something as he took the face-off against Trocheck, and Logan smiled and rolled his eyes.

There we go, saying hello to an old friend, eh, Dean?

Tremblay lived with Dumais. The old joke is that they couldn’t get him to leave! My wife’s obsessed with Tremblay’s instagram, lots of pictures with Dumais’ kids. We know Tremz is the baby of three sisters—youngest child’s secret dream, to be the oldest?

Hey, I’m the baby of my family—no way I’d give up that leverage for anything.

Trocheck won it and Remus allowed himself a moment to settle into his old, familiar routine of watching Logan skate, the way he used to when he had spent all of his time on the bench. Sirius would always be his favorite—light, even strides that were soundless when he cut into the ice—but Logan skated like he was prepared to go miles and miles for what he wanted. His edges were clean, he could stop at the smallest touch, which meant it was hard to get around him and even harder to take the puck from him. Remus guessed that was why the Rangers coach had put him with Panarin. He shouldn’t be enjoying the way the two seemed to see lanes on the ice that looked closed, angles that looked impossible, but he was. Beautiful hockey was beautiful hockey, and Remus had always been able to appreciate that no matter what.

Logan narrowly avoided Evgeni, who definitely hadn’t gone in for the hit with his usual force, but it did make Logan pause for long enough that Evgeni was able to poke the puck away with his long reach, and right into Pascal’s waiting tape. Pascal turned and pushed hard up towards the other end—Logan on his heels.

“Très étrange…” Sirius breathed from beside him as the two whipped by.

“Yeah,” Remus said. “Strange.”

“Black!” Coach called when Evgeni came for a change. “O’Hara, go!”

Sirius was over the boards in a flash, well-rested from the whistle break. He caught Logan easy, Pascal blocking any shot he might make from behind. Logan liked to do that, no look passing. Finn had been on the receiving end of those for his entire career. Logan would keep his green eyes narrowed on the guy in front of him and then fake a shot, only to knock it back to Finn with his backhand for Finn and his speed to race half-way up the ice.

He couldn’t pass to Finn now, though, but Remus saw him hesitate, like the muscle-memory of it was fighting with him as he saw Finn in front of him on the ice. Finn shouted something to him that Remus couldn’t make out.

Oh, here we go, finally. This should be a show. Tremblay surrounded by familiar faces in the Rangers’ zone, knocks it to Panarin who can’t get it through, sends it around the boards to Fox, holding, holding, can’t get a lane—Black’s got it! Picked his pocket right up, looks like—is he gonna go coast to coast, Dean? Tremblay’s at his heels, can’t catch him—

Remus was on his feet as Sirius widened his stride the closer he got to Montague’s net. Saint was making himself big, blocker and glove out, knees ready to drop.

“Fake left,” Remus said under his breath. “High, high, c’mon…”

Sirius’ right leg raised, but Saint didn’t move the inch to follow where Sirius wanted him to go. Sirius’ shot was hit right out of the air by his blocker—God, the very edge of his blocker.

“Rebound!” Jackson shouted from beside him. “Cap, let’s fucking go!”

Sirius scrambled for it, but Logan got there first and knocked it all the way down the ice. The whistle blew for icing on the Rangers, and Logan’s line would have to stay on the ice for another shift, tired as they were.

Jesus, not often do you see a chance taken away from Sirius Black like that, do you, Lee?

Nope. No, you do not. Sebastian Montague, in these past few years…well, he’s been making a name for himself, yes he has.

Logan and Sirius were panting, sticks on their knees, not quite looking at each other. Logan bent to hand the puck to the ref, and Remus watched him send a glance to Sirius, watched him say something. Sirius turned and, after a moment, smiled, then reached his stick out to lightly wack Logan’s shins. Remus felt something release in his chest, looked to Finn who was watching them as he skated towards the boards for a change. He looked like he was feeling something similar—complicated and relieved, happy and sad.

“Mind staying out, Harzy?” Coach said when Finn reached the bench. Coach had an equally complicated look on his face as he raised his calling card to his mouth so the cameras couldn’t read him. “You distracted him good out there. Black got close, I think he can get close again before clock runs down.”

Finn looked surprised for a moment, then grinned. “Oh, Coach. I was born to distract Logan Tremblay.”

~

Remus was drenched in sweat by the time they were making their way down the tunnel for first intermission. They were still 0-0, but it was one of those games that just felt good. Difficult and evenly matched, low on hits, high on skill. It was always like that with the Rangers. Remus handed Lars his sweaty gloves to be dried with a nod of thanks. The locker room wasn’t loud, but it wasn’t quite. It wasn’t frustration exactly that hung in the air. More like will power. They wanted this. All of them.

Remus cut through the puck-marked tape on his stick once he was sitting in his stall again. Finn came into the room near the end of the line, just ahead of Leo, and let out a very loud, meandering sigh-like noise that made Leo laugh.

“Okay, Harzy?”

“This feels like a really weird dream. Like…” He paused to pull his jersey over his head, then stripping his pads off, leaving only Logan’s fleur-de-lis around his neck and his pants. “Like one of those dreams that you wake up and try to figure out what the fuck it means but you just sit there confused.”

Thomas laughed from beside Remus. “That was a whole thought.”

“I have a lot of them, occasionally.”

Remus just smiled and got up for the bathroom to rinse the sweat off of his face and neck. Within, Kasey was at the sink, stripped out of his pads. He was strong and tall, but always looked smaller, more fragile, in the moments just after he had removed all of the bulky goaltender gear. Kasey met his eyes in the mirror, twisting on the tap.

“Hey, Loops.”

“Hi, Bliz,” Remus said.

“Intense so far, eh?”

“Yeah,” Remus smiled. “Hey, gonna see Alex later?”

“Yeah, but we’re going out with a few of the guys first—not sure if the Cubs are coming, too, but I think they are. Old Harvard teammates and all that. And, from what I’ve heard from Leo, Tremz probably wants to do some sentimental shit like—I don’t know, serenade them?”

Remus laughed. “It’s sweet. I didn’t know he was like that, but it’s damn sweet.”

Kasey made a show of rolling his eyes but he was grinning, too, shutting the water off. “Yep. It is.”

“We’ll probably come, too,” Remus said. “But if we don’t win, I can’t promise you-know-who will be any fun.”

“Oh, you’ll wring some fun out of him, I know it.”

Remus leaned over and splashed water over his neck. “I always seem to, don’t I?”

Kasey was silent for a moment, but he wasn’t leaving like he normally would. Like any player, he had a strict intermission routine. Instead, he stood there, half-turned towards Remus.

“So, Cap asked you to marry him,” Kasey finally said.

“So he did.”

“I want to marry Natalie.”

Remus couldn’t help the way his head snapped towards him, couldn’t help the grin that crossed his face. “Oh my God, Kasey. That’s—” But then he noticed Kasey’s conflicted expression. “What’s up? That’s great, man.”

“It is.” Kasey nodded. “I’ve only been thinking. Our relationship with Alex is newer…well, Alex feels like my oldest friend in the world, but in this way, the way we three are now, it’s new. Very new. I don’t know how to tell him that I want to marry Natalie without him thinking that…without him worrying that I don’t think of him as permanently mine like that. Because I think I will want that. I think Nat will want that. I just…it feels different. We’re in a different place. I want to marry one person, but I want to keep the other.”

Remus nodded. He couldn’t picture wanting anyone but Sirius, couldn’t imagine having any room left over in his heart, but it filled him with warmth every time he thought of the Cubs, or when Kasey had told him about Natalie and Alex. Kasey was so quiet about it, but he was a bit like Finn, Remus sometimes thought. He had endless things to give.

“I think…I think you should tell him.”

“Yeah?”

“I think—I mean, maybe you’d be better of talking to Finn or Leo or Logan—but aren’t both of your relationships proof that things develop at different rates? That more than one thing can develop at once?”

Kasey nodded. “I…yeah.”

“I mean—okay, now that I’m thinking, even me.” Remus crossed his arms, leaning against the counter with a hip. “Maybe I don’t want two different people, but I wanted to kiss Sirius before I knew I was ever going to be friends with him. That shouldn’t really make sense, but that’s how I felt. And then he became my best friend while I was also falling in love with him. At the same time.”

Kasey smiled. “Yeah, I think we all knew about your little crush.”

Remus laughed. “I’m trying to say that I think…I think you should talk to Alex, ask Natalie, and…” Remus huffed out a laugh. “And wring out all the best that life has to offer. You’ve got a good hand you’ve been dealt.”

Kasey was quiet for so long that Remus started to worry that he’d said something wrong. That maybe he’d wanted or needed something else. He looked away from Kasey, trying to give him space, but kept an eye on his expression in the mirror—it was crumbling, slowly.

His voice came out so soft that even the bathroom’s echoes barely caught it. “I think I need to retire, Remus.”

And part of Remus felt like crumbling, too. Kasey was so quiet about it, about all of it, and Remus suddenly felt painfully grateful that someone like Kasey trusted him like this. He was thankful for his old job, and all that it had given him. If he’d started as a player, he wasn’t sure he would’ve gotten that.

“I know,” Remus said just as softly. How many hours had they spent together, trying to make the pain go away? Remus leaned his palms on the counter, freezing to the touch. “God. I know, Kase. You’ve been hurting a long time, huh?”

“They tell you to fight through it,” Kasey said, eyes down and unfocused. “That’s the thing about hockey. That’s probably what wrecked me and Alex for so long. What wrecked Sirius. They just tell you to fight through what hurts and it’ll go away. And if it doesn’t go away, ignore it. Pain means you’re an athlete, you asked for this.” Remus watched Kasey close his eyes. His face would have looked almost peaceful, if his voice hadn’t had a fine tremor to it, words barely audible by the end of his next sentence. “I’m so fucking tired of it. I’m so tired.”

Remus straightened and put a hand on Kasey’s back. “Kase…”

“I don’t know what’ll happen,” Kasey said.

“What’ll happen is you’re so fucking young. They make you feel old at twenty-eight in this game, and it’s bullshit. You can do anything you want. What’ll happen is you’ll choose something incredible, Kasey. I know you will. I know that because you know how to take your time. Believe me. I understand.”

“I—I want to finish the season. Give myself that.”

Remus nodded. “All right. Layla and Lars will help you.”

Kasey looked at him. “Will you help me?”

Remus had to take a minute. He squeezed Kasey’s shoulder and nodded fiercely. “Of course I will.”

Kasey sent him a quiet smile. He put his hand over Remus’. “Guess I’ll start with choosing Nat, then, huh?”

Remus smiled back. “Sounds like a good plan to me.”

~

Finn just wanted to get back out onto the ice. He had thought he would be sad. He thought he would have woken up with dread and a dry mouth at the thought of seeing Logan in blue. But he hadn’t taken into consideration that now Logan’s eyes would always be on him, storm-ridden sea green, trained on him, looking for the best way to beat him. Finn could see it now, even as he mindlessly taped fresh sticks for period two. It riled Finn in a way he hadn’t known it would.

“Hey,” Leo said, sitting down in his stall beside Finn. “I know we said we were all going to Lo’s but…lots of the boys are going out tonight.”

“You want to go, babe?”

Leo shrugged. “Kinda. Don’t know if Lo knows about it, though. He won’t be looking at his phone now, gotta see after the game.”

Finn tore the tape with his teeth and smoothed his finished work. “I think we should. Today won’t be complete till I’ve got my hands all over your hips while everyone’s looking. We don’t play tomorrow, we can fly back after the team does.”

Leo’s answering smile was bright and he leaned forward to press a kiss to Finn’s cheek. “That sounds good. So good. God, this game.”

“How’s it feel to you?” Finn said. “Because its getting me unexpectedly…toasty.”

Leo snorted. “I know, I can tell. I…” He paused. “I just—I really don’t want to let one of his past me, you know? It’s stupid, but oh my god, I don’t.”

“It’s not stupid,” Finn said. “Believe me, I feel the same.”

Leo leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “He looks good out there. Blue suits him.”

“You look good out there,” Finn said.

Leo offered him a small smile, eyes lingering over Finn’s, then Finn’s mouth. “Harzy?”

“Yeah?”

Another beat of silence, another flick of his eyes up, then down. “I—miss you.”

Finn started a little, blinked, sat up straighter. Leo smiled a little bashfully, looked down, and Finn reached out and put a hand on his thigh. “You miss me? Le, I’m…”

“I just mean…I feel better. And I can tell you feel better. We were all so different, for a moment there. And I’m—I guess I mean that I’m happy.” Leo put his hand over Finn’s. “That’s all. I’m happy. I don’t know.” Leo squeezed his fingers. “I—yeah, I don’t know.”

Finn nodded, slowly, understanding. He thought of the horribly still nights that they’d shared after Logan had first left. All of their trying, all of their tight grips. It did feel better now. Finn scooted closer, took Logan’s necklace from around his own neck and slipped it over Leo’s surprised, soft expression. He took Leo’s chin gently between his fingers and kissed him, because he could.

“I love you happy.” Finn said. and tapped the necklace and kissed him again. “For luck.”

“The necklace or the kiss?” Leo’s smile was bright.

“The necklace. The kiss is because I love you. Here’s another.” Finn kissed Leo’s forehead, then rested his own against it. “And I miss you, too. I don’t know exactly what I mean, either.”

Leo let out a breath. “Yeah…”

“But I do.”

Leo closed his eyes and nodded. “Yeah. Me too.”

The second period started off with a bang. Evgeni took on Reaves—and Finn honestly couldn’t be sure who won, only that they were both still talking a mile-a-minute on their way to their penalties.

“Does Reaves speak Russian?” Finn leaned in to say to Jackson, who just snorted.

“Kuns doesn’t care if you know what he’s saying during fights. It’s the feeling, Jackson, the feeling. They scare.”

Finn smiled. “Right. Reaves totally looks scared.” They looked like they were going to break down the glass.

“17, on Tremblay.” Coach tapped Finn’s shoulder. “Remember.”

“Oh, Coach, I remember.”

Finn next jumped the boards beside Sirius to swap out with Pascal’s fourth line. He narrowly avoided a hit by Blais with the puck on his stick, and managed a slick pass to Olli, only to have the puck snatched out of the air by Montague. Chants of Saint filled Madison Square Garden again. Saint, Saint, Saint. When he saw Panarin jump the boards, he fell in at Sirius’ shoulder.

“It’s not working up high.”

Trocheck followed Panarin, and then—

“Tremz’ll know if you go low.” Sirius was chewing on his mouthguard, eyes on where Logan was skating towards the face-off circle—towards Finn. “He’ll block. If he’s not shooting, he likes getting up in the crease to protect the goal.”

“We’ll have to try and get him unmatched from the Panarin line, surprise him. Their guys seem to like Lo and him together.”

Sirius nodded as they turned back to the face-off. “Try to trap him in the corners, maybe the others will go for a change.”

Sirius bent across from Trocheck, and Finn—well, he stopped for a minute. He had known what would happen just now, but he hadn’t realized exactly what this would mean, facing Logan’s line. He looked right into those familiar green eyes. They hadn’t been this close all night, and now Finn leaned forward, skate braced against Logan’s, snug shoulder-to-shoulder. Distract.

“Sorry, what’s your name again?” Finn said, and pretended to look back at Logan’s jersey. “Huh. Can’t pronounce that. I’ll just have to call you seventy-one.”

Logan suppressed a smile but said nothing. He kept his eyes forward, but there was a blush to the back of his neck.

And there are the old teammates. Chatting it up—well, O’Hara is, anyway.

“Seventy-one,” Finn said, mockingly thoughtful. “Got the last pick, eh? The dregs?”

“Harzy,” Logan said in a low voice.

“Hey, remember earlier today when we made out?”

That made Logan look at him, eyes pleased and fiery, just as the ref dropped the puck. Logan cursed and gave Finn a nice, hard shove, but not before Finn got the puck from Sirius and sent it up the boards. That was as good as a starting gun for Logan, and Finn gave chase. He saw his chance and took it. He pushed through one hard stride, then another, before pinning Logan not too softly against the boards, the puck trapped between both of their skates.

“Hi there, Tremblay,” Finn breathed, mouth perfectly positioned against Logan’s neck.

He knew Logan could feel his breath there, especially when he let out a frustrated noise low in his throat, and tried to shove back against Finn, free up the puck, but Finn fought right back.

“This? You want this?” Finn groaned as Logan shoved an elbow back against his ribs. “Oh, ouch, what was that for? Thought you loved me.”

“Finn,” Logan said through his teeth. The crowd was beginning to get restless and loud, but Finn just wanted to smile. He couldn’t help that they were matched for strength, that they could predict each other’s every move.

“Never felt you fight me like this before, huh?” Finn made a try for the puck but Logan’s broad shoulders edged in front of him again, making him have to switch to his other side. He could feel Logan’s sweat against him from the damp curls of his hair peaking out from his helmet, taste the salt of it. It was all him.

Logan let out a low groan of effort again and finally knocked the puck free. Both of them dived for it, only to find Remus there, snatching it up, tapping it to Thomas, back to Remus, back to Finn to tapped it in a quick east-west to Remus who pulled his stick back for a slap-shot—it rattled off the crossbar and into the Rangers’ net.

Finn put his arms up with a shout and Remus turned towards him, pointing his glove at him.

“Yeah, Harz!” Remus grinned as they crashed together, Thomas putting one hand on each of their helmets.

“Having fun in the corners there, Finnegan?” Thomas said.

“Very much so. Gonna get an earful for it later, though.” Finn laughed as he skated down the bench to tap gloves with his teammates, receiving a slap on the helmet from Coach as he used the gate to get into the bench. He glanced up and caught green eyes staring at him for just a second.

“My boyfriend loves those,” Finn said quietly to himself. “My boyfriend reads those.”

Wow, all smiles from O’Hara. Certainly pleased with himself over that goal.

Finn looked down the ice at Leo, and he couldn’t really see his eyes, but he could tell that Leo was looking back by the slow, exasperated and fond shake of his head.

“You say something?” Evgeni asked from beside him.

Finn pointed to Leo. “My boyfriend’s the goaltender for the Gryffindor Lions.”

Evgeni made a face, brown eyes confused. “Harzy, I’m know this?”

Finn just smiled, letting out a long breath. “I know. I just wanted to say it someone.”

~

Logan sat back in his stall with his eyes closed.

“How you doing, kid?” Alex’s voice said.

“I’m a little…fluttered.”

“You’re…fluttered?”

“I think I said it wrong.”

“Flustered?”

Logan rubbed at his eyes, then laughed. “I guess. Turned on feels closer.”

Alex must have been drinking water because there was a snorting sound and then he was choking through a laugh. “Oh-kay. Okay, Tremblay, wow. Zero to one-hundred.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Alex laughed again, taking another sip of water. “I mean, keep in mind I believe you’re referring to my brother’s little clean hit, but don’t be sorry.”

“Huh,” Percy said from where he was re-lacing his skates. “I believe Finn was hoping it would be perceived as a bit more dirty, actually.”

Logan laughed. “Shut up.”

Logan felt easier in this locker room. Part of him worried it was only due to the mere proximity of the Lions, of Leo and Finn, of Sirius and Pascal. He had been living without the promise of see you tonight and he still got sad going home to an empty apartment. But he liked this team. They were kind and tight-knit. They pushed each other and uplifted each other. Even the quiet, somber ones like Luke—though, Logan guessed he could be considered a quiet and, sometimes, somber one himself.

He stood up. “They’re starting on the power play, which is dangerous.”

Percy put up his hands. “I didn’t trip Nadeau. Fucking refs.”

“Cap—uh.” Logan shook his head, threw his jersey back over his head so he’d miss any second looks he got for that. “Black is probably really fired up so. Dangerous around the net. Whether you tripped him or not.”

“So?” Alex said. “You’ve got a slapper that can go the distance.”

“Non, they’ll expect that. They’ll put Walker right in front of it.”

“Hm.” Alex stood, too, throwing his shoulder pads on over his bare chest and beginning to smooth the velcro.

“Well,” Percy said. “You know Knut better than any of us. We’ve watched tape, but…”

That brought Logan up short. He looked over at Percy, his fair hair wild from drying sweat.

“What?” he asked, though he’d heard him.

“What’ll work?” Percy asked, like it was obvious.

Logan opened his mouth, but couldn’t think of a single thing to say. What’ll work against Leo? He knew, obviously, but…

“Five-hole.”

They all looked over at Saint, who had spoken—who rarely spoke between periods usually. He was sitting in his stall beside Luke, cold towel around his neck.

“He’s tall,” Saint continued. “Long legs, he can’t get down as quickly as he always should. But he’s good with his hands, he’ll snatch anything glove-side right out of the air.” He looked over at Logan, eyes knowing. You can’t do this, so I’m doing it for you. “He’s been doing it all night. But so have I.”

Logan couldn’t keep his eyes off Leo. The way he came back out for the third, marking up the freshly smoothed blue paint in front of his goal with precise, measured strides. He was all the way at the other end of the rink, but Logan had a feeling Leo was watching him, too. When Leo came to the bench for a full water bottle before the first puck drop, Logan saw that he was right.

Logan almost didn’t want to look over. Finn had caused enough of a stir in him. But he couldn’t help it. He found Leo’s blue eyes. He had his mask up.

Hi, Logan saw Leo mouth.

Logan bit his lip. “Hi.”

Then Leo reached into his jersey, brought out a necklace, and kissed it. With a start, Logan realized it was his fleur-de-lis. He felt himself flush hot. He felt himself smile. He touched the place on his own chest where the pendant had once rested. Leo smiled, pulled his mask down over his face, pointed two fingers at his own eyes, then at Logan.

Logan recognized the challenge.

Ha! A little message from Leo Knut there. We’ll see if Tremblay rises to the bait and evens out this game.

They had been right about the power play. Sirius was buckling down and fierce. Logan felt the same. Any hyper-awareness that he’d had about playing against his old team faded to the back of his mind. Muscle memory took over. He didn’t hit—he didn’t think he could bring himself to really let that go—but their faces blurred and the Gryffindor red could have been Detroit’s. After each shift, he barely wanted to sit on the bench.

He found himself shoulder to shoulder with Finn again, determined not to give into him this time. Determined to maybe feed him a bit of his own fire.

“Do you remember,” Logan began. “That first summer we spent in New York together, and you read me those books?”

Finn smiled. “Ha, you can’t get me. Alex already told me. Ha-ha.”

Logan kept his eyes ahead. “I think I was already in love with you.”

Logan had the puck on his stick before Finn could even close his mouth.

Oh man, this is what Tremblay’s famous for, Dean. As fast backwards as he is forward and—those feet. One of the best skaters in the league. He passes to Morgan, Morgan to Panarin—the magnetism! Wow, back to Tremblay, over to Marshall, narrowly avoiding O’Hara on his way down the ice, Tremblay, back to Marshall, back to—Oh! And he scores! Tremblaaay!

Oh, what a look on Tremblay’s face! That’s bliss, man. That’s bliss!

Logan slammed up into the glass with a shout, Percy just behind him.

“What a pass!” Logan managed to say from beneath Percy’s glove all but trying to smother his face.

“Like old times, eh?” Percy laughed, then turned to call to Finn. “Eh, O’Hara! Owe you one, you fucking beauty!”

Finn waved him off, but the gesture did draw Logan’s eyes to Leo. He was tracing the blue paint with his stick, like he always did after a puck got past him, head down, trying to re-focus. Logan knew that this was normal for him, but that didn’t make the twinge of guilt in his gut any better. He had, for the first time, been the one to cause that look on Leo’s face. Leo was hard on himself. Logan knew this from many sleepless nights spent with him. The fact that it was Logan who had scored…he knew that didn’t make it easier for Leo.

And even still. A certain triumph. Leo. He’d gotten one past Leo.

But the victory didn’t last. No more than four minutes later, Finn and Remus were like hounds on the ice. Logan had almost forgotten. They were playing for the playoffs. Remus squeezed one in beneath Saint’s left pad with three minutes to go, and then Finn, nearly swiping Alex’s feet out from under him in the process, pulled the Lions ahead of the tie for a clean win. A clinch. They were two play-off teams now.

Logan was happy for them. He wondered if they would get to meet each other in the first round, depending on who the wild card ended up being. But Logan couldn’t watch them all celebrate on the ice, piling against Finn by the glass, gloves on the ice. That, he couldn’t quite do.

~

Remus could feel the happiness coming off of Sirius. They had done it. They were going to the play-offs. Sirius had even been almost receptive when the reporters had surrounded him in his stall. He’d even forgone his baseball hat that usually kept his eyes shaded and unreadable. Remus had had a bit of a moment, watching him push his sweat-drenched hair out of his bright eyes, answering questions in English, then a few in French.

“Thank you, Sirius,” a few of the writers had said, and then Sirius had smiled with a merci.

Remus joined him by the fridge that held sports drinks and water. He nudged their shoulders together. “Merci.”

“Shh,” Sirius said. He sent Remus a smile, though, pressed a kiss to his temple.

Finn’s parents were at the game, of course to watch both of their sons play. Remus had only met them a handful of times, but the energy they brought with them into the room was classic. Remus could practically smell the early morning practices, alarm clocks and high school locker rooms and jerseys on clothing hangers in stalls.

“How you doing, kid?” Finn’s mom grinned, pressing a hard kiss to Finn’s cheek and rubbing his back. “What a game. Almost a hatty. How’d it feel?”

Finn’s dad, Ramsey—a tall man with the O’Hara’s soft brown eyes and a handsome face with tortoise-shell glasses—rubbed a hand through Finn’s hair. Remus could tell he’d been doing that since Finn had only come up to his knees. “So weird to see Logan in blue.”

“Yeah,” Finn said. He still had his arm tightly around his mom’s shoulders, and his knuckles looked like he was really holding onto her. If Remus didn’t know better, he’d say there was a bit of emotion in Finn’s voice. He thought of what Alex had told him. My boyfriend reads those. He thought of how long Finn had been waiting for a sentence like that from Logan. “Yeah. It was weird, but it was good. See Alex yet?”

“Not yet, came to you first,” Ramsey said. “Al said he was gonna come down here to you, anyway. Oh, Leo—” Ramsey smiled at Leo as he came to Finn’s shoulder, and held out his arms. “What a fucking game, man. Hot hands on you.”

Leo accepted the hug and the slap on the back, then pointedly ignored Finn’s exaggerated look at his hands. “Thank you.”

“Aw, Leo,” Haley put her hands on his cheeks. “You’re looking good. I’m so glad, you boys are looking so good, I was…I was worried there.” Then her eyes caught on someone behind Leo and Remus looked to see. “Kasey Winter, what the hell are you standing all the way over there for? I see those shy eyes of yours looking at me.”

Kasey came over in his usual, almost sheepish way. Remus felt a pang go through him, thinking back to seeing that expression just over an hour ago, trying to be strong.

“How you doing?” She had her hands on his face like she had with Leo. “You okay?”

“I’m okay.” Kasey nodded.

“Hm.” Her eyes went over his face. “You know Alexander never shuts up about you.”

“I don’t think I shut up about him, either.” Kasey’s eyes went to Remus’ for a moment. “At least not in my head.”

“Good.”

Remus smiled. He looked over at Sirius. He had been going to ask if they were joining the others at the bar, but the look on Sirius’ face stopped him in his tracks. He was staring at the O’Hara family, grey eyes without walls. It was such a rare sight that Remus reached out for him without thinking, put his hand on Sirius’. Sirius blinked, watched Haley O’Hara lean up for Finn to whisper something in her ear, watched the way she put her hand over her heart and looked up at her son with that heart written all over her face.

“I’m fine,” Sirius said. “I just—wonder sometimes. About—I mean, if I had had…”

“I know.” Remus rubbed his thumb over Sirius’ knuckles.

Sirius squeezed his hand before clearing his throat and standing, reaching for his shirt.

“Hello, mon fils.” And Pascal was there suddenly, arm going around Sirius’ shoulders, squeezing tightly. “Going out with the boys?”

Sirius swallowed, leaned into Pascal a little, then nodded. “Ouais, we’re going.”

Remus thought about what he’d said to Kasey. They were all so young. And he suddenly wanted his family there. He wanted to see Julian for more than a few weekends a year and a month and a half in the summers. He had an almost aching want for a family with Sirius. And everything, all the time that came with that. It knocked his gaze unsteady for a moment. He looked at James, who was on the phone with Lily, one AirPod in and laughing as he did up his game suit tie.

“Put him on,” James was saying. “Harry totally knows what icing means, Lils!”

Remus smiled and reached for his towel to dry his hair one more time, only the room erupted around him. Logan and Alex had walked in. Alex immediately ran at Finn, dodging around his parents to put his little brother into a headlock.

“Ugh, Alex—” Finn scrabbled at Alex’s grip. “No—Mom.”

“Alexander, release your brother, he won fair and square.”

Leo, who had his arms around Logan, laughed as Logan imitated Finn. “Mom.”

“Ooh, it’s Tremblay,” Evgeni said, knocking Logan’s hat down over his eyes as he passed by, already dressed. “Big bad Ranger boy. We smush you. Smush.”

Jackson, behind him, righted his hat with a pat. “See you at the bar? What’s it called—uh, something-something?”

“Sure,” Alex called, still with a fighting Finn under his arm. “I’ll have Logan put it in the group chat.”

“Finn reached up to wack blindly at Alex’s face. “C’mon, man.”

Finally, laughing, Alex released him and accepted a hug from his mother. With access to Finn now, Logan gave him a shove.

“You fucker.”

“Tremblay,” Alex said, arm around Haley. “Language around my mother.”

Haley scoffed. “Oh, please.”

Remus laughed with the room just as his phone started ringing. A photo of Julian’s nostrils popped up beneath his name and Remus shook his head.

“When did you do that…” he muttered to himself, and then answered. “Hey, bud.”

“Such a good game! And—so weird that Tremzy? But like so cool to see him and Finn, like, like—battle for it. And also good goal! With Harzy. Really pretty.”

“Hi, sweetheart,” his mother’s voice came. “Oh, yes, we just went wild!”

“Hey, thanks,” Remus smiled. “Yeah, it was pretty weird.” He glanced over to where Finn had his hands up in surrender still, half talking, half laughing as Logan spoke a mile-a-minute in French.

“I wanna talk to Sirius,” Julian said matter-of-factly.

“Ooh, yes, put Sirius on for a moment. I have a wedding idea.”

“That you can’t tell me?”

“It’s about you! Hand him over!”

Remus rolled his eyes, but smiled as he nudged the phone at Sirius. “Jules and my mother demand your attention.”

Sirius looked down from where he had finished up half the buttons of his shirt, eyes going happy. “Give it.” He wedged the phone between his shoulder and cheek as he finished the buttons. “Ça va, Jules? Avez-vous regardé le match?”

Remus felt all warm inside at how slowly he spoke. Julian had started learning French in school, and Remus could hear his OUI! from where he was.

Sirius smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling, as he listened to them.

See? Remus mouthed, and Sirius just reached out to stroke through the wet hair at the base of his neck. Remus leaned into it and listened for a few moments as Sirius replied to whatever Julian or his mother was saying. Soft hums and sounds of agreement until he finally said, with a wicked grin at Remus, “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything.”

Remus flicked him in the ribs.

“Non, not flying home,” Sirius said. “We’re going to hang out with Logan and some of the Rangers because we miss him.”

“I heard that!” Logan called over.

“Just a little!” Sirius called back, then held the phone in his hand, suit jacket over his arm. “Okay, Jules. Okay, I’ll tell him. Good night.” He laughed. “Yes, I know. Okay. Okay. Ouais, okay.” Remus put a palm to his forehead, shaking his head as Sirius tried to hid his laugh. “Okay, yes. Got it. Ouais, promise. Okay. Okay, night.”

Sirius handed the phone back to Remus. “I don’t want him to grow up any more.”

Remus sighed and accepted Sirius’ gentle kiss. “Me neither.”

~

The bar was loud and dim, with seemingly endless worn booths and many pool tables— also, everyone seemed to know Alex. The bartenders, two middle-aged women in black tank-tops and a sun and moon tattoo on their upper left arms that had to go together, each gave him long, hard hugs. Kasey, too, which Remus shouldn’t have been surprised about. The walls were plastered with photographs of the two women with different players—Rangers and otherwise. Above the bar was a great big sign: No Autographs, No Pictures. If We See A Flash—You’re OUT!

Remus smiled. He could see why Alex liked it here. Public, but no where they’d be mobbed should it come to that.

“I guess you’ve been coming here a long time,” Sirius said, coming to Kasey’s shoulder.

“Oh, yeah, Cap. Since the old days.”

“My Lord,” one of the women said—thick braided hair that was died pink at the ends and tied back in a long twist. She had soft eyes, russet-brown skin, and she stood tall like a dancer. “Kasey Winter, you have brought Sirius Black into my bar. Finally.”

Kasey just laughed and tapped Sirius’ chest. “Sirius, meet Holly, and that’s her wife Jude over there.” He nodded towards a woman with a blond pixie cut and green eyes that were almost as startling as Logan’s. She stood with one hand in her back pocket, pale skin covered in various tattoos. She was laughing at something Evgeni was saying before replying in Russian.

Remus thought Sirius looked a little overwhelmed by it all. He drew his gaze away from the surprisingly big space and towards Holly with one of his shyer smiles. “Nice to meet you.”

She laughed, a contagious thing. “You really are a formal one.”

Kasey rolled his eyes. “Not really.” He reached around Sirius to put a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “This is Remus.”

“Hi there,” Remus said. “This is an amazing place you’ve got here.”

“Oh, thank you, darling.” She reached over the bar and put her hand on Remus’. “You know, my wife grew up in your hometown. We followed your story all through college. We were so sorry when that nasty Grayback…He should have been banned from the League a long time ago. God, and then everything with that fucking Snake team. And I know we don’t know each other but we feel a lot of pride about you.” She gave a hard nod.

That nasty Grayback. Remus had never actually heard anyone blame him before. “I—oh. Wow.”

“I’m proud, too.” Sirius’ arm found his waist and Remus was so, so grateful.

“Sharmall.” Remus jumped a little at a very much higher-pitched version of Finn’s voice.

“A’Horo,” came the response from Percy Marshall, already standing with Alex and Will Morgan at a pool table.

Remus watched as Finn, coming in with Logan and Leo, all but launched himself at Percy, and he couldn’t have deciphered the noises that came out of their mouths if he wanted to.

“You fucking M&M! Fucking snack!” Percy held Finn’s face between his hands. “Treat you a two? A three? Crack the egg.”

Finn shook him by the shoulders. “Fuckin’ crack it.”

“Do you…understand this?” Remus asked Logan, who was greeted by Holly by a very loving and rather comforting hand on his cheek.

Logan was just shaking his head. “Yes. Only because I was there.”

“And?” Leo asked, looking just as bewildered as Remus.

“They’re going to have beers,” Logan said. “And they’re saying hello.”

Leo blinked. “I—okay.”

“I told you,” Logan said. “They’re crazy together.” He sighed, smile exasperated, and looked to Holly. “Hi, Hol. Sorry about them.”

“Oh, we’ve seen worse.” She held up her hands and poured Logan a drink—quick shot of rum, crack of a coke bottle. “Sorry about the loss, honeybee.” Her eyes moved to Leo. “And don’t I know who this is. Congrats on the win.”

Logan accepted the drink with a smile, and put his arm around Leo’s waist. “This is my boyfriend. Leo.”

Remus watched the way Leo’s expression caught, surprise and something so bright that Remus could barely look at it.

Holly pressed her lips together in a smile. “Hi, sweetheart. Can I pour you something? I can’t tell. All thought I couldn’t tell with Tremblay here, either. Jude googled him—ha!”

Leo nodded, hand going to his wallet. “I can—do you want…”

“I believe you.” She cracked the cold bottle from the fridge that Sirius has asked for. “Some of the older boys try to bring in the rookies sometimes. They know they can’t get passed us, though.”

Remus turned to look up at Sirius while the others moved onto the game from that night. Sirius shuffled him down the bar a little ways before tapping a stool for Remus to sit on so that they were eye-to-eye.

“Okay?” Sirius asked quietly.

“Yeah, totally.” Sirius looked at him and Remus smiled, put a hand on his chest. “I really am. I promise. It just—his name takes me off guard. I was surprised—most people just go sorry about the hit, not—you know. Not like he meant it. Not like—I know no one knows what really…happened. But it was nice to hear someone get close.”

Remus took a breath, realized he was rambling. He rolled his shoulder a little. It would never move quite in the way it used to, scar tissue and stress, but he was lucky.

Sirius nodded quietly. “Ouais. I see.”

Remus straightened, smiling when he saw Evgeni hurtling towards them, pushing right through Finn and Percy to do it.

“Hey, Kuns,” Remus said.

“Loops.” Evgeni put his hands up, one holding a beer. Who knew where his jacket was but his tie was barely hanging onto his neck and his shirt was unbuttoned almost all the way, showing some of his tattoos. “The party is me.”

Remus raised his eyebrow, but nodded. “Sure is.”

“Cap,” Finn said, tugging Evgeni’s tie up to catch over his face. “Percy insists I introduce you properly, whatever the hell that means.”

“Hello.” Percy looked star-struck as he shook Sirius’ hand. “Sir.”

Remus tried to bite back a smile but Finn snorted. “Perc, what the fuck.”

Percy was pink around his ears. “Hello, not sir.”

Sirius just smiled wryly. “Hi…”

“I love you,” Percy said plainly.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Finn put an arm around Percy’s shoulders to steer him away. “And you’re not even drunk, I forgot how fucking weird you are.” He pressed a sloppy kiss to Percy’s temple. “Fuckin’ M&M.”

“Kit-Kat.”

“Jolly Rancher.”

Remus hid his laugh in Sirius’ chest, where he felt the rumble of Sirius’ own. Sirius’ palm came up to cover the back of Remus’ neck, thumb stroking gently.

“Loup,” Sirius said softly beneath the music playing. “Something made you sad earlier, though.”

“What? Oh. Yeah,” Remus smiled a little, pleased at the way Sirius was pressing so close. “I can’t actually say. It’s not about me.” His eyes went to Kasey. “You’ll know soon.” Sirius’ eyes followed his. “You probably already do.”

Sirius looked for a long time. Alex and Kasey, sitting snug in a booth together, looking like they were having a soft, earnest conversation. Kasey might have been crying a little, but they were laughing, too, and Alex touched their foreheads together.

“Ouais…” Sirius said finally.

Remus smoothed his hands up Sirius’ chest, around to clasp behind his neck. “I like this. I like us all together again.”

He looked at Pascal, Thomas, and Leo, standing and watching Finn, Will, and Logan saying something that sounded like it was about Harvard. Percy was beside Leo, seemingly whispering extra details into his ear.

“Speaking of sad earlier,” Remus said, and tilted Sirius’ face back towards his own. “I saw you watching the O’Hara’s—or A’Horo’s now, I guess.” Sirius half smiled, thumb still tracing lines down Remus’ neck. “Our families are yours. Especially mine. Okay? All of us…even some fucking Rangers.”

Sirius barely had time to smile when, as if on cue, Holly announced the arrival of a few more.

“Saint Montague,” she said, voice somehow carrying over it all. “Get your ass over here, sweetheart.”

“Monty!” Percy called as Saint came in, followed close by Luke Deveaux, whose eyes went immediately to Sirius and Remus, tangled up.

Saint put a palm up to Percy. “Nope.”

Percy let out something close to a cackled ha! and turned back to Leo.

Saint was really something to behold, Remus had to admit—by Sirius’ face, he could tell Sirius had to admit it, too. He had tan skin and hair that had been streaked blond—it was a strange cross between angelic and something akin to punk. Remus caught Sirius’ eye, whose mouth quirked. They watched as Holly clasped his hand, saying his drink was on the house—sorry about the game, darling, I know how you hate to lose.

Saint gave off an air of arrogance that should have dulled the effect. His chin tilted like he knew just how good he was. But it didn’t dull anything. Especially not when his light, liquid sun eyes looked Remus up and down once. “Lupin.”

“Montague.”

His eyes flicked to Sirius with a challenging little smirk. “Black.”

Sirius only nodded. Saint’s eyes went back to Remus.

“Pretty little things you do on that ice.”

Remus arched a brow. “Thanks…Good game.”

“It was fine. I’ve had better.”

“Obviously,” Sirius muttered.

Remus glanced up at him and Sirius huffed, but only took a drink of his beer.

Saint just smiled, then looked back at Luke as he called Holly over again. “You want something, Tweedle?”

Luke simply nodded and came to his side, leaning against the bar and watching Saint’s profile as he ordered for the both of them. Sirius glanced at Remus again. Remus would do anything for Sirius to keep sending him those little silent communication looks.

Be nice, Remus mouthed.

“You know,” Saint said, turning to Sirius. “Your boy was pretty wrecked when he first got here.” He looked towards Logan.

Sirius blinked. “Logan’s trade was a surprise.”

“Yeah, even we can agree to that,” Saint nodded. “But all I’m saying to you is that…” Saint hesitated. He looked down at Luke, then back to Sirius. “He’s doing okay now.”

“I know.”

“We’re good people.”

“Never said you weren’t.”

Saint laughed and rolled his eyes before throwing an arm around Luke’s shoulders and steering him away. “So stop looking at us like we’re just a bunch of Rangers! Oh—” He looked over his shoulder. “But we are going to have to do something about him calling you Captain all the time in our room.”

“No deal,” Sirius said.

Saint laughed again, but turned away.

“Meanie, Captain.” Remus smiled, knocking his knuckles lightly into Sirius’ arm.

“I love Logan,” Sirius said in a low voice, taking a drink. “But we are still hanging out with a bunch of Rangers.”

“What do you want, Tremz?” Remus heard Finn call from across the bar. “Another round, I’m buying.”

“You know what I want!”

“Bleh, sugar-water,” Finn said, then grabbed Leo’s hand and pulled him between the tables. Leo barely had time to let Logan take his drink from his hand and send a laugh over his shoulder. Finn spun Leo around a few times before settling his hands on Leo’s hips and resting him against the bar, murmuring something gentle to him. Remus smiled at Leo’s smile.

“Do you think they’re going to be okay?”

Remus looked up at Sirius, who had something akin to his game face on—maybe a little more worried.

“We were okay.”

“Yes.”

“And we’re okay now.”

Sirius looked down at him. He was biting at the inside of his cheek. “Yes.”

“Yes.” Remus reached up and stroked a thumb over the taut cheek until Sirius relaxed. “They’re getting to choose.”

“That doesn’t mean everything’s going to be in their control.”

“They know that, I think.”

Sirius nodded. “Ouais…”

“Cap!”

They looked up at Logan’s voice—met Saint’s pointed look on the way—and watched Logan wave at him, standing with Pascal.

“Come here. I want you in this photo.”

“Oh, of the night we beat you?” Sirius called back, but he was smiling, slipping out of Remus’ arms. Remus just shook his head and watched him go. “I thought we weren’t allowed photos?”

Logan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but we’re the ones taking them.” He gave Sirius’ suit jacket a tug, surprising Sirius into one of his real smiles, so that Percy could snap the picture.

Everyone seemed reluctant to leave—reluctant to have enough drinks to risk a hungover flight or practice tomorrow, but reluctant to leave all the same. Neither Holly or Jude seemed to mind that they all ended up just sitting around a pool table, rolling some of the balls back and forth across the felt mindlessly and laughing much too loudly, though the bar was emptying out.

It stirred a fond memory from college for Remus—something that didn’t happen often. It even included Grayback. Something that happened even less. There had been a blizzard, power out, locked down in their team houses, four peanut butter and jelly sandwiches each, and with a mission to drink the cold beer before it got warm.

Remus looked around from his place settled between Sirius and Thomas. Evgeni was trying to tell a story that was half in Russian and Jackson was giving what was sure to be a very wrong translation until Saint finally raised a finger and said he spoke Russian. This resulted in a very sloppy kiss on his cheek from Evgeni. Luke might have scooted Saint’s chair a little closer to himself.

Logan and Finn had Leo between them, touches casual and happy. Percy and Will had had the table in fits telling Harvard stories, and Kasey had actually put his full, large palm over Alex’s mouth to stop him from telling an old story from them being on the Rangers together.

It felt like a family. And Remus had had that feeling in college. A sickish wave of fear washed over him then. He didn’t want now to feel like then, promising that anything could go horribly wrong. He looked at Sirius, but he was turned away, talking to Alex. Remus shifted, wished he had some water. Remus felt a nudge from his right.

“Heyo,” Thomas said softly. “What’s up?”

Remus shook his head. “Nothing.” He smiled. Took a breath. “Nothing. I just…I love this.”

“Hurts sometimes, huh?”

Remus huffed out a relieved laugh. “Yeah. Exactly, T.”

Thomas put an arm around his shoulders, across the back of his chair. “I got you, Loops. We all got you.”

From his other side, Sirius kept talking to Alex, but he seemed to hear. He put his hand on Remus’ knee, warm and familiar.

“Ooh, I took his spot,” Thomas mock-whispered, and Remus laughed.

“No,” Remus said. He felt more grounded. He would enjoy this. He was enjoying this. “You stay right where you are.”

~

Logan had watched how close Finn held Leo, hands on his hips. Their heads ducked together, cheek to cheek. Right there in the middle of the crowd. Each time he had looked over, Logan had gotten different views. Finn saying something, Leo’s eyes closing as he laughed, Finn ducking to press a soft kiss to Leo’s neck. Leo sending him a wink over Finn’s shoulder, Finn grinning at him over Leo’s.

And then Leo had leaned into Logan’s side, ducked down to whisper in his ear. Take us home.

God, this place, his New York apartment, called home in Leo’s voice.

Now, Logan kept Finn close, his back against Finn’s chest as they leaned against his kitchen counter to watch Leo open his fridge, and let out a long sigh at the empty shelves.

“Oh, Tremblay. Tremblay, Tremblay, Tremblay.” He picked up an unopened bottle of ketchup and stared at it sadly. “As my mama would say, this is just asking for trouble.”

“I’m sorry?” Logan said.

“What are you eating?”

“At the rink.”

“We’ve FaceTimed, though! You bought stuff! I walked around the grocery store in your hand, they have the lettuce you like and everything.”

“Ouais…I do better when you give me really good instructions.”

Leo sent him a bland look around the door. “You need really good instructions to buy lettuce?”

“I make egg and ham sandwiches?”

Leo turned to the stove where there was still evidence of said sandwich on a spatula and pan. He made a face. “Remind me to get you a spoon rest.”

“Okay,” Logan laughed, and then tilted his head to the side to give Finn more room where he was beginning to kiss his neck.

“Kitchen looks good, though. From what I was expecting.” Leo opened a few barren cupboards and made a hmm noise.

“But I hang the towels up,” Logan said, and Finn’s answering snicker washed over his skin warmly. “And, regarde, the key bowl. By the door.”

“You don’t even have your tea,” Leo’s frowned was actually concerned now. “Lo.”

“I don’t know,” Logan sighed. He tucked himself back against Finn more. “It’s not…”

But what did he want to say? It’s not the same? That’s for at home. But this was supposed to be his home.

“It’s okay, baby,” Finn said softly, pressing gentle kisses to his jaw that bled into one another, into his words, too.

“No,” Leo said. “No, this is his home, Finn. I want him to have the things he likes here.” Leo looked over at them, and his expression softened. Finn held out his hand for him, and Leo took it, letting Finn pull him in, peppering his jaw in those same kisses. Leo smiled, hands going to thread in both Logan and Finn’s hair.

“I did have it. At one point. I guess I just…” Logan took a breath, and Finn when to speak but Leo put a hand over his mouth, making them all laugh. Logan sighed and knocked his forehead against Leo’s chest. “If I don’t have too many things, then it’s not…” 

“I get it,” Leo said, and then released Finn and bent to press a soft kiss to his mouth. “They should call you Talker.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Finn said. “But Leo’s right. This should feel homey. Otherwise why would we come and visit?”

Logan scoffed and elbowed him in the ribs.

“Ouch, Tremblay.”

“Oh, non. Don’t even get me started again on the ice today.” Logan rolled his eyes.

“Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. Blame Coach.”

Leo snorted. “Oh, Coach told you pin Lo up all hot and heavy?”

Finn just grinned. “I’d call it being willing to play the corners, but you can call it whatever you like, Nutter-Butter.”

Leo just shook his head, laughing. “C’mon. I want out of this fucking suit.”

“That can be arranged.” Finn looked down at Logan as Leo wandered towards Logan’s bedroom, peaking none too subtly into the bathroom on his way. Finn tugged on Logan’s tie. “Sorry. I should let you talk.”

“Don’t be,” Logan said. “You’re still not used to it.” He smiled. “Me neither.”

Finn laughed. “Guess so. Come on. Show me the Tremblay Chamber.”

“Stop with the last name,” Logan laughed, but took his hand and pulled him up from the counter. “Makes it feel like you’re still on the other team.”

“Logan,” Finn said in his ear, still close to his back as they walked. “Lolo.”

“Non.”

He dropped to a whisper. “Lo, baby.”

Logan just glanced at him, biting back a smile.

“Yeah, you like that.” Finn’s voice was cocky as they pushed the bedroom door open to find Leo seeming to be checking Logan’s lightbulbs on his bedside tables. “Okay, Leonardo. What is happening.”

“These pre-furnished places come with harsh lights sometimes! Like the cool toned ones, like a hotel—” Leo ducked down to see beneath the shade. “Logan likes the yellower warm ones.”

Logan’s heart squeezed. “Le, the light’s fine.”

“No, they’re cool and you will just live with it. Okay, tea and lightbulbs.” Leo straightened, shrugging out of his suit jacket. “That’s my list so far. Oh, no, spoon rest. I should write this down.”

“No, you should sit down,” Finn said. He nodded towards the bed. “There, right there. Go on. Sit, and I’ll give you a fun surprise.”

Leo look suspicious, but he sat on the edge of Logan’s bed. Finn turned Logan around by his shoulders and walked him backwards until he fell back into Leo’s lap. Logan laughed, but rested his head back against Leo’s shoulder.

“A good surprise,” Leo said softly, and kissed the underside of Logan’s chin.

Finn lowered himself to one knee in front of Logan. “All this Rangers blue…” Finn tisked his tongue. He smoothed his hands up Logan’s thighs, the material of his suit catching against his fingers. “Even made it into your socks and tie.” Finn looked up at him. “That has Alex written all over it.”

Logan took a steadying breath. “He, um—took me to his tailor.”

“I bet he did.” Finn kissed the inside of his knee. “And he had to trace this inseam…” Finn’s mouth trailed up his strong thigh, hand against his knee. “Lucky human.”

Logan couldn’t help spreading his legs a little, eyes on Finn’s mouth. Leo adjusted behind him, feet tucked back and knees against Logan’s hips.

“It is a nice suit.” Leo’s hands went to the navy blue tie in question and gave it a little tug. “But I think we should take it off of him now.”

Finn’s hands went to Logan’s belt and he did a little whistle to the tune of it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas as slid the leather free from its buckle.

Logan let out a soft laugh, leaning back into Leo as he slid the tie out from around his throat. “Shh.”

The nights were lonely. Logan always felt himself as the lone weight in his bed acutely, like he was sinking into it. It had been even been worse in his dorm bed, at Harvard. Narrow space, no room for anyone but him. He’d curled into himself, back against the window with the rattling AC. Finn, oceans away on the other side of the room, breathing and shifting and talking until neither of them could keep their eyes open. Laughing too loud and Percy banging on his ceiling to get them to shut up.

And then Finn’s bed, in his parents’ New York brownstone. Bigger. Stepping over the air mattress on the floor in the morning. Him and Leo sharing a hotel room on the road, each with their own double bed. Wishing so hard to throw off his own covers and just—just climb in and close those inches of ugly hotel carpet between them, sleep turned into Leo’s chest instead of trying to block out the blaring red numbers of the clocks on their respective bedside tables.

And now there was this. Leo behind him, unbuttoning his shirt from his shoulders like it was some sacred rite. Finn coaxing him into lifting his hips off of the bed, the jingle of his belt hitting the floor. Hot mouth around him, Leo’s fingers against his ribs, mouth on his neck, the weight of Finn’s elbows pressing into the mattress around him.

“Got one past me tonight,” Leo said in his ear. “You know I don’t let things like that go.”

Finn’s mouth was replaced by his hot cheek on his thigh as he laughed, breathless. “I thought no hockey in bed.”

The pillows behind Logan’s neck felt cool and gentle when they lay him back against them. He didn’t have to ask to watch them shed their clothes, too. And when Finn eased him back when he tried to help with his buttons, his large hands pressing against his chest, Logan thought of the boards. Finn pressed up against him, Leo all the way on the other side of the ice, what if I closed the distance? That thought that had circled in his mind a million times, for both of them. What if I came to them?

Finally, he had.

“Hold me,” Logan said, breath shaky through the words.

Leo just smiled into their next kiss, unbuttoning his own shirt. “We are.”

“Non.” Logan took Finn’s hand that was cradling the side of his neck and moved it down a little, to the front of his chest so that the V between Finn’s thumb and forefinger was settled just over where his collarbones dipped apart in the center, where Finn could feel his pounding heart. Finn’s lips were wet and parted as he watched Logan put his own hand over Finn’s and press down on his chest, watched his eyes go hooded with it.

Finn’s expression did a complicated thing. He applied a little pressure of his own, barely even at all, but Logan felt it in his chest, let his eyes close with it. It was good. It meant they were there.

He put his fingers around Finn’s wrist and guided his hand down more firmly.

“Ah.” Finn grinned, eyes going to Leo who had made another hmm noise, not dissimilar to his one from the kitchen. “I see.”

“I miss it. Please.” He used his feet to press Finn’s hips harder against his own and looked to Leo. “Please, I miss you so bad at night. I miss you so bad at night.”

“Aw, Tremz,” Leo said softly.

And just like that it was back. Tonight had been so happy. But reality was still in the room.

They didn’t let him linger in it. Leo’s kiss was short and sweet, hard enough to draw Logan to him as he pressed up all along Logan’s side. Leo let Logan guide his fingers carefully to where Finn’s were. He lay each one in the spaces between Finn’s, right over his heart. “We’re right here.”

Logan let out a harsh breath, tilting his chin back, giving Leo room. Leo leaned down and brushed his lips against Logan’s cheek. “Good?”

“Ouais, ouais—” Logan could barely stand that look in Leo’s eyes. It was as good as seeing the intensity of their blue through the mask. Better. “So good.”

Logan’s necklace glinted around Leo’s throat, pooled by their joined hands on Logan’s chest as Leo leaned over to kiss him.

“God, Lo, look at you,” Leo breathed, drawing Logan closer like he needed it. “Okay, maybe I’ll let the goal go. Was gonna make you wait for it but…just for tonight.”

“First kiss day,” Finn added, and Logan grinned into the next kiss he received.

The held him together, on either side, even when their hands made him feel like he was unraveling. Finn’s hand slipped away from his chest, down, down. Slick and fiery and steady, pulling his hips up in time with their movements like he couldn’t help it. The tension of the game melted away, right out of his muscles. Leo’s hand stayed right where it was, making his heart feel like it was pounding against something more than just himself, like it was trying to knock down whatever skin and bone was left between them. Logan didn’t remember locking his hand around Leo’s wrist, but he did, he held on even as Leo’s mouth bled any strength out of him, throat bared as Leo kissed him gentle and calm against the pile of pillows behind them.

He didn’t feel alone. It was such a relief.

When Finn got as close as he could, Logan was warm. Heavy against the sheets. Finn bent over Logan in a rush, arms scooping under Logan’s back this time, one pressing just above his ass, holding them together like he wanted to knock it all down, too.

Logan could only wrap his arm around Finn’s back in return, the other still locked on Leo. It brought Finn close, his stomach rubbing up against Logan’s cock perfectly, the scent of his sweat heavy on Logan’s tongue where his mouth was pressed into the hair that curled against Finn’s neck.

“Yeah, you like that,” Finn whispered gently, pressing a kiss to Logan’s jaw. “You like this, always have.” When Finn began to grind into him, it was shaky and needy. He barely pulled away at all, but Logan didn’t want him to. He opened his mouth against Finn’s skin, breathing hard, pressing his teeth into Finn’s skin gently to muffle the low sounds he was making.

“Leo,” Finn managed, voice tight, then at Logan’s teeth, laugh shaky. “Ouch, Lo.”

Leo laughed, too, smoothing Logan’s hand into his own and kissing his knuckles before ducking to get at Finn’s neck and shoulders, too. Logan caught his mouth in a sloppy kiss, trailed his hand down Leo’s chest until he could take him in hand.

“Did I mention you scored on me?” Leo’s brows drew together at the feeling, forehead resting on Finn’s should. “And—ah…I don’t forgive easily.”

“Ouais,” Logan said, voice sounding shot to his own ears. “I’ll make it up to you.”

Logan eased Finn off of him with a lingering kiss, a sigh at the loss, but Leo was plains and stretches of pale, bare skin flushed pink.

Logan had missed them, but they had missed him, too.

Logan straddled Leo’s hips, feeling how badly Leo wanted him, feeling the arch of Leo’s back as they pressed together. They kissed and kissed, Logan’s palms against Leo’s chest this time, then his neck and jaw, smoothing his hair back. He pushed his hips down again, and again until Leo was muttering urgent sounds and gripping his hip, keeping him still as he spilled needy and white between them.

Logan kissed over the sweat at his temple, lips parted in something between a smile, triumphant, and a need of his own. Finn was there, then, soothing the tremors in their bodies.

“I missed you, too,” Logan heard Finn murmur into Leo’s mouth.

Logan knew he would live in this moment until the next one like it came. It would be where he fell back to, when he needed something to weight him down and ground him, whenever the changes became too much. He couldn’t have said where he stopped and they began. He didn’t know the hours, he didn’t know the degree of light in the sky. He knew their skin, and their laughs, and brown and blue, red and yellow. Getting up in the pitch black just to come back and find both of them there. A memory for later, though it’d make him sad more than anything. He’d paused by the window, where the moon fell on them. He got up again to see the same sight in the blue light of the early morning. He just wanted the feeling of settling back in between them, their mindless sleepy hands finding him without trying. A glimpse of blue, Leo pulling him closer, who’s sleepless now? Finn, hearing their voices. His warm palms going around Logan’s wrists, pinning them above his head, hips settling together again, again, again.

Logan was tired, but not of this.

Leo, scrambling eggs at his stove, singing softly along to the music playing on his phone. Finn, sleepy at the counter, tennis ball beneath his foot, rolling out sore arches. Daylight. Logan left the room just so he could come back in and see them there.

He’d leave again, later, kissing them goodbye right there on the sunny sidewalk. He’d come back in to no one in his kitchen, the bed a mess. Practice in two hours. It was funny, as he stared at himself in the mirror brushing his teeth, how he looked so rested after no sleep. It wasn’t as funny how part of him had managed to convince himself that he was going to see them every night, like his body had needed to put that on a loop in his mind in order for him to enjoy it so much. But no, tomorrow they were just playing the Stars.

Twelve hours had barely passed than did Logan come home from a practice to find an express package waiting at his door, addressed in Leo’s handwriting. Inside was a box of his mint tea with a great big smiley face drawn on it in sharpie, and a set of lightbulbs. Logan smiled and set his kettle on.

[vajazzly]

ok while summer came early chapter five is (still, im sorry, i KNOW) in the works ive been messing around with some b-sides, so, have some 18-year-old wolfstar being..... them.

(for the full experience please queue up chicago by sufjan stevens and press play at the line "the opening notes start to play")

Remus nods off twice at the diner in Toledo despite the cocktail of adderall and caffeine he’s been mainlining for the past few days, so Sirius is at the wheel when they finally pass the sign welcoming them to Chicago, which is really kind of anticlimactic - Remus is sound asleep with his head pressed awkwardly against the window and the sign is nothing special, plain green with nothing to distinguish it from all the other nondescript signs that came before it. Sirius lets himself bask in the moment anyway. Traffic is backed up for god knows how many miles, their AC is halfway to broken and he sweat through his t-shirt two hours ago, the highway is, honestly, particularly ugly - but they’re here. Chicago.

He manages to prod Remus awake after a respectable ten minutes of grumbling, but once he’s awake he sits up, too fast and banging his head on the roof of the car, rubbing at it while he stares out the window, blinking, turning back to Sirius with an eyebrow raised and a shit-eating grin.

“Oh no, it’s hideous.”

“Shut up! It’s - grab the CD, fucker!”

“The CD?”

“Yes, the fucking CD!”

“What CD?

“The - the fucking CD! The CD!”

“Oh, the CD?”

It occurs to Sirius then that Remus is fucking with him, which he thinks is a sign he needs to get them to the new apartment as soon as possible so they can both get some sleep. Remus laughs and rifles through the glove compartment as he groans and complains and rolls down the window to flip off a minivan that tries to cut him off, shouting garbled nonsense as they speed off - traffic is inexplicably going faster as they approach downtown, and really that doesn’t make any sense and it means Sirius is shouting at Remus to hurry the fuck up, no, not that song, keep skipping, for God’s sake -

The opening notes start to play just as the skyscrapers of downtown come into view, and then Remus is cranking the stereo up as loud as it’ll go and craning his neck to stare out the window with his jaw hanging wide and Sirius is trying to do the same while also making sure they don’t crash and die on I-90, and it’s not really the best view and it’s still too fucking hot and Sirius hasn’t slept in two days, but all the same he opens his mouth as the opening lyrics start to play and something intangible clicks into place.

I fell in love again

All things go, all things go

Remus rolls down his window and the wind whips at their hair, blowing all the strays that have fallen out of Sirius’s ponytail directly into his eyes and he almost tells Remus to roll it back up, you fucking fuck - but then Remus is sticking his head out with that brilliant toothy smile of his, belting the lyrics -

Drove to Chicago,

All things know, all things know

Everything they own is stuffed into every nook and cranny of the Forester Remus bought five days ago off of some elderly woman in Jersey, and they made a thing of it, just the other day on their last night in Alphard’s apartment, deleting all the phone numbers of all their friends and teachers and social workers in New York until only three remained - each other, Marlene, and Dorcas, whoever they turn out to be, faceless names they’ll be sharing a kitchen, a TV, a brand new life with. It’s exhilarating. Untethered, unmoored except for each other, Sirius has never felt safer, more alive, more free - like New York was dead weight he’s been dragging around that’s suddenly been lifted off, and he imagines for a moment that the sweat on his back is the imprint it’s left, soon to fade into nothing. 

There’s a lot to worry about once they reach the new apartment. Bills, and jobs, and shaping themselves into something more - something that’ll last. There’s a ring on Remus’s finger, a cheap, tarnished thing he nicked from a thrift store when the clerk wasn’t looking. It’s not the real thing, not quite yet, but it is a promise, a future, a clear path forward into the unknown, together. All they need, really.

[utilitycaster]

Just read your post about Yu and, as much as i liked what they tried to do..... Yeaaahhh...

The thing is that it's REALLY difficult to play an evil PC, or an antagonistic to the rest of the party without it in a way that is believable, and gives the rest an opportunity to sus them out too, there is a sweet spot that's really easy to miss

The relationship between them and the Unseelie court was also.. bad? Not believable? Like, you are not a random bounty hunter they found on a bar, you are a trained assassin for them why are you speaking to your superiors like that? I might be bias because i like feywild lore, but i also don't think it's an unreasonable thing to expect respect to the archfey of the Unseelie court, mostly because you would give them weight as a villain, because i don't think it was meant to be a comical bad guy, with his a bit dofus of a goon or something along the lines.

It's a bit of a pet peeve of mine, but at the end of the day, Yu, to me, was attractive, an assassin, and that's about it? Sadly we didn't get to see much of them as them but oh well

See I actually don't agree with much of this in that I thought the conversation with Zathuda was one of the few highlights. It's very normal for a character to treat their warlock patron with a sense of resentment and I didn't find it excessively disrespectful or even unusual for warlocks within this setting specifically. I also do like Feywild stuff, and I enjoyed seeing Zathuda again when Bells Hells went to the Feywild, and didn't find that that interaction had lessened his impact.

My issues are pretty squarely in the big final confrontation and yeah, in the fact that this was intended as an antagonistic PC but it didn't work out. I mentioned this in a recent response elsewhere and I don't want to dwell on it but part of what led this campaign to take so long to gel is that there was so much guiding and pushing and adjusting to get them to the big apogee solstice setpiece - I use the term gel because it really does feel like they were jello mix that was put in the fridge but then stirred every half hour so that it could never totally set (until, well, pretty much this arc). Which in turn made guiding them harder, since their motivations were unclear, which turned into an unpleasant feedback loop. I think Yu was very much a casualty of that: they came in around the time that this was (for me at least) coming to a head and then that lack of understanding of the party's motivations meant that when the encounter didn't go to full PvP right away, neither Matt nor Erika really knew how to manage it.

I also, and I'll touch on this in an ask I'm about to respond to, found the Dusk cover character more interesting, and someone like that who had ended up in service to Zathuda but was trying to get out but was also reliant on those powers is way more interesting than just "assassin...raised as an assassin...is an assassin."

[dandyfelines]

Alflear Week (1)

bed-ridden/sleep/firsts

(Still a WIP, so I plan to finish it later.) for @malflearweek

--

The first time it happened, his head could just about peek over the bed the Divine Dragon slept upon. Alfred didn’t need to stand on his tiptoes to see the wisps of blue and red hair framing the Divine Dragon’s cheeks, but he still couldn’t see his entire face. His mother had lifted him up a few times to see the Divine Dragon fully, and Alfred vaguely recalled his shirt had two large dark blue lines. But from this angle, he could only see a criss-crossing golden pattern and a lot of white.

He loved coming here. Most of his days were spent in bed or visiting the doctor. His mother had said he needed to do physical therapy in order to get stronger. He liked the idea of getting stronger, but he also wanted a friend. He wanted someone else to talk to about his day or about the flowers he saw from the castle windows.  Everyone told him the Divine Dragon was listening carefully and lovingly to those who visited him. So even if Alfred didn’t get a direct reply back, it was fine. 

“Hi, Divine One! It’s Alfred. Wait, um….” He clasped his hands in prayer. “Divine One, thank you for allowing me into your sacred place of rest. Okay, that should be good, right? I wanna tell you about my day!

“Today I saw some hummingbirds in the garden! They were so small and fast, they just zoomed past me. They really liked the flowers, too. And then, Mother taught me how to make a flower crown. She called it something like… ger land? I forgot!

“I wish you could see the flower crown I’m wearing today. Maybe I’ll make one for you, too. I don’t think it’s disturr, um, disturbing your sleep if I put it on very quietly. Maybe I’ll get really good at it, and then I can make lots for my little sister! She is still a baby, so I’ll have to make little ones. I would make lots of flower crowns for my friends. But I don't know when I'll see them again.

“I just want to have more friends around… I mean, you are my friend, too, but you can’t play tag with me or practice duels, or walk with me in the garden…

“...Unless you woke up right now! You don’t wanna be stuck in bed either, right? Then we could be best friends! Hm. Maybe you just need help… ngh…”

Alfred stood on his tiptoes and stretched out an arm for anywhere he could reach. His fingers brushed against some fabric from the Divine Dragon’s sleeves. He repeatedly grasped at that area until a clump of white and gold was firm in his hold. Then, he tugged.

“Please?” he whispered, timid. His mother had told him many times to never disturb the Divine Dragon’s slumber. Reminded of her words, Alfred reluctantly allowed the fabric to slip from his fingers. Shame burned his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Divine One. I think we have to be friends just like this, with you sleeping. But can you wake up someday soon, please? Then, I’ll show you the pretty flowers in Firene and watch butterflies. Or maybe we could even see a deer! And I’ll make you a flower crown!”

---

Alfred was sure the second time was an accident. He had outgrown his childhood fantasies of playing tag with the Divine Dragon, after all, and the weight of his responsibilities began to settle on his conscience. He visited the Somniel less often, now that his health had improved and other activities filled his daily life. Every time he came, though, lifted his spirits.

“Divine One, Céline can’t come today. It’s been a while since it was just me, hasn’t it? There’s a lot to catch up on, and I can’t wait for you to hear all about it.

“Well, Céline completely outclasses me in magic. She really has a talent for it. Yesterday, she burned a training dummy to ashes, and it was just her first week using fire magic. I tried to learn some magic myself, but I guess I’ll just have to stick to physical weaponry. I’m getting really good at the lance, now. I want to be as good as Father was at it, so I still have to work harder.

“Oh, and we learned about who our retainers will be! We were thinking Céline’s would be Etie. They were practically joined at the hip as children, so imagine my surprise when she was assigned to me. Instead, her new retainers are a woman and man, Chloe and Louie. I knew Louie from his knighthood training at the castle, but I’ve never met Chloe before. She and Céline seemed to know each other. I thought Céline told me everything, but even she keeps some secrets. 

“My retainers are my trusted friends, Etie and Boucheron. Getting to train with two of the strongest people I know… Divine One, I couldn’t be happier! Oh, you’re really strong too. You vanquished the Fell Dragon before! It’s a shame we can’t practice sparring matches together, but… but anything could happen. Right?

“No doubt you’re listening to me, because you have given me the strength to be a prince to my people, and I am grateful. A lot of it was my own work, too, but you really are a true friend, looking out after me. So you know my deepest wish. I get it, you need more time to heal from your wounds, more time than I needed… but…

“I might not even get to ascend the throne. When I start thinking about that, I feel so sickened that I might leave mother and Céline alone… how can I be a worthy prince? I hate thinking that some things just weren’t meant to be. You probably can’t make it go away, but if there was any way to make sure I could at least take care of Firene, Divine One… please. I don’t want to lose the joys I have, spending time with Etie and Boucheron, ruling with Céline and Mother, and being able to talk to you.

“I am scared, Divine One. What will happen to me? I wish I knew what you were thinking right now. Can you share a sign, anything?” Alfred scanned the Divine Dragon’s face for any response, a twitch of the nose, a deeper breath than usual, maybe even a smile. 

“It’s alright, I really enjoy talking to you all the same. I’ll keep my health up, so that we can talk for as many years as I have left. I promise to treasure each and every moment we have together. …I’ve seen Céline do this thing called a pinky promise before. I wonder if we could…”

Those words were a mere suggestion, not even taken form, when he noticed the hands folded across the Divine Dragon’s chest twitched. Alfred’s eyes widened. A low, short grunt emerged from the body lying in front of him.

Alfred heard his heartbeat accelerate. Could it be? All those years of his childhood dreaming of seeing the Divine Dragon’s eyes with his own, realized? After a moment passed without incident, he exhaled. He would just have to train more, eat well, work hard and perhaps, one day, he could share his joy with the one who was there for him for all his years.

[hummingbee-lievable]

Song of the Day #21:

'I, Carrion' by Hozier (released 2023).

I feel lighter than I have in so much time

I've crossed the border line of weightless

One deep breath out from the sky

I've reached a rarer height now that I can confirm

All our weight is just a burden offered to us by the world

Track #5 on 'Unreal Unearth'. (Definitely just thought the album was 'Unreal Earth' this entire time; can't decide which one I like better: I love the sort of surreal disassociation with Hozier's title and I like the alien sentiment that comes with my misinterpretation. What do you prefer?)

Fun fact: The entire album was largely inspired by 'Dante's Inferno'! Which is really freaking cool. This was largely created during Quarantine, and Hozier wanted to do a subtle nod to the pandemic without really making the music about that at all. The album itself is actually a progression of the nine circles of Hell, and you can follow that from the 'darkness of opening track "De Selby (Part 1)" to the breakthrough of closer "First Light"'*. The album has many mythological references beyond this, however. This song in particular was inspired by the legend of 'Icarus and Daedalus' (which I accidentally misspelled as 'Deadalus' at first which feels way funnier than it should be).

They are father and son, trapped in the labyrinth that Daedalus himself built (to hold the minotaur: half man, half bull). In order to escape, they build wings out of bird feathers and wax. He warns Icarus not to fly too close to the sun as his wings will melt, but once the boy starts flying, he finds himself drawn to the sun with such euphoria that he cannot stop himself from flying towards it, heedless of his father's calls. The sun melts his wings and he falls into the ocean. (Note: uhhh, don't try this at home kids.)

The song, according to Hozier, is inspired by that story and intermingled with a love story. He mentions the idea that sometimes there is joy so strong that it is worth the fall, and that plays out clearly in this song.

(Daeadalus was not exactly theeeee greatest fellow ever, fun fact. He tried to murder his sister's kid because the boy showed signs of great ingenuity (like inventing the potter's wheel! I owe him one) so he decided to do the obvious thing annddd... push him off of a high tower; Athena intervened (she is kind of a hoe for intellect- I never uttered these words) and turned the boy into a partridge in midair. To this day, partridges do not nest in high places and tend to stay on the ground unless necessary. They're also adorable, but that's unrelated.)

They're just so...flomphy!!

Personal blurb: Okay so, I'll be honest. I was in, shall we say, an altered state of mind when I first heard this song. And when the lines 'I do not have wings love, I never will' came on, I felt transported. At some point, I will write a short story about those lines, because good golly. I don't like a lot of Hozier's music, but he has grown on me, for the way he intertwines literature with lyrics. I may or may not have written an eight paged paper analysing 'Take Me To Church' for English class, so he passes muster at least a little. 😋

I love this song. I love the concept that sometimes it's worthwhile to burn your hand on the flame. And there's this- there's this space of limbo after an impulsive decision, where I'm floating in the middle of the choice and all I have to do is just be and breathe and let the wind take me. Of course, then I realise: hey, I had no money for that pot of tea (but goodness was it delicious and peaceful) also scaling that mountain is absolute garbage for your back (but my my wasn't the crisp breeze glorious) oh and don't you worry because leaving your phone behind and wandering into a forest for seven hours with a book and a bottle of water (stay hydrated kids) surely will have no negative impact and certainly not 83 missed calls and a group of villagers with pitchforks and torches coming after you (but wasn't it worth for the calm you are able to greet them from).

My friend told me 'life is for the living' and I love that. (But don't forget your water bottle. Hydrate or die-drate, birch.)

And no. Not every impulsive decision is going to be worth it, or a good idea. But sometimes we just need to cast the weight aside and... fly a little, you know?

P.S. My darling sister just reminded me that this song is very 'Good Omens' coded and-

You know what. I'm embracing it. It absolutely is. Come nerd out with me.

Hiii Smallsssss. This is not an invitation to catapult your body up the nearest cliff and then not call me. 😋

Because then I would be left with a...cliffhanger! (Might anyway, literally, if you call me, hanging from a cliff.)

Double P.S. I have been made aware of the possibility of tagging individuals that are fabulous enough to have a Tumblr, so...*drumroll please* @hozierofficial hello and thank you for your humanity.

References:

*

**

[blxckdragonfly]

Alkaline (Darkness Finds You Universe #4)

(Song: “Alkaline” by Sleep Token. 

Warnings: Mention of overdose, suicide, drug use, slight smut on the page, and then some good old fluff af. 

Pairing: Chris Motionless & Lycia Winters “Pronunciation of her name-- Lai-shuh” (Played by Ana De Armas) 

Synopsis: After being consumed by the recurring nightmare that she gets every three days after the anniversary of the death of her first love, Marcus, Lycia opens up to Chris about the overdose that nearly cost her her life. 

Word Count: 2,924 

A/N: And we’re back! This is a pretty tough one to also begin with but I hope the romance that you read and the fluff afterwards makes this one easier to handle. I hope you enjoy. x Tiger Co-written with @blackrose-92​

Spotify Playlist: Linked Below!)

Lycia and Chris’s Home: Scranton, Pennsylvania– March 17th, 2022.  

Flames, they were bright as the sun– the tint of orange crossing my vision as I saw the silhouette of my first love and boyfriend, Marcus, every inch of his body being swept in them. The smoke filled my lungs and it hurt to breathe. I stood, frozen as the thorny vines wrapped around me, digging into my flesh when I wanted to move and escape. 

“Marcus! Marcus, no! Don’t!” I screamed until I felt my throat become raw.

“Lycia. Lycia, hey. Wake up.” I suddenly hear Chris’s voice but it’s distant, the vines releasing their grip on me and I see a light in front of me, I follow that light. 

I stir and my eyes open, making sure I don’t jerk my body as I see Chris in front of me. His eyes took on a look of worry. I wipe my forehead and I feel a warm sweat on my body, like I’d actually been too close to a flame. I feel his hand move to stroke my hair and he senses how warm I am. 

“Oh, not again,” I grumble. “You’d think I’d be used to this by now.” 

“Baby, this is not something you should be used to,” Chris said as I looked into his worried eyes, the warmth of the chocolate brown. “This isn’t normal, let alone healthy.” 

“If you want to talk unhealthy, babe. You don’t even know half of it.” I say as I sit up in bed, leaning against the headboard, I see a look of intrigue come across his face. 

“What do you mean, Lycia?” Chris asks as he sits with me. I take a deep breath. 

“After Marcus died, the shock lasted several days. I tried to find ways to cope with the pain and then it just got worse after that. Even after drinking, it didn’t help. I went out with a few friends to a party and there happened to be a few people offering cocaine so I took some. 

After the first line, it didn’t do anything. So I kept going until I was offered heroin. In my mindset, I thought that this had been the answer I was seeking. I lost a ton of weight and I was constantly tired. Until about a month later when that same dealer who offered me the heroin came back looking for payment. Even though I was loopy out of my fucking mind, I didn’t consent to what happened between him and I but he did it anyway. I remember him saying it was payment for the drugs. I couldn’t fight him off because I was so high on heroin.” I explained. 

I see Chris look almost sick to his stomach and I see anger crossing his eyes– I know he wasn’t mad at me. I know he was mad about the situation. 

“I didn’t care at that point. I wanted to die– I wanted to see Marcus again, even if it meant killing myself to do it. I filled the syringe up to the max and I injected myself with it. I wanted the pain to stop, so I begged to slip away without any more pain. My brother, Adrian, found me that day. He rushed me to the hospital while I was under, I had two strokes and a heart attack.” 

Chris’s anger disappears and tears come up to the surface in his eyes, as if he wanted to grieve my almost death. 

“I should probably stop, I can see the way it’s starting to get to you,” I murmured. I feel Chris take my hand in his own, he shakes his head at me. 

“No, honey. Keep going,” Chris whispers as he takes on a brave face. I sighed. 

“Even though I almost died, something kept me here. I didn’t know what it was at the time but as I recovered, I was told that I’d be transferred to a mental hospital, where I was put on suicide watch. I understood why though. The only option to get out was going to rehab, which I jumped immediately at and did everything I could to sober myself back up. Get back to a healthier mindset.” 

I felt Chris’s thumb tracing the back of my hand, I could see that he was trying to be strong for me but even then, a single tear fell down his face. 

Every once in a while, something changes

And she's changing me

It's too late for me now, I am altered

There is something beneath

“Babe, I know you’re trying so hard to be strong for me. I appreciate it, I do but you can let it out.” I whisper. He doesn’t say anything for a moment until he pulls me close, laying on the bed and wrapping his arms around me. I lay my head on his chest as I hear his breathing become heavy and he starts to sob softly. We clutch onto each other, shedding tears. 

“I fucking love you,” He says as he sniffs, laying his chin on the top of my head. “I love you so much, Lycia. I’m so sorry that you had to go through such horrible shit like that. Don’t blame yourself for getting into those kinds of situations. You were in such a vulnerable state and the people around you took advantage of that.” 

“I love you too,” My voice is soft as a realization hits me. I knew why I was kept here. I knew it all along. It was the man holding me in his arms. “I think I know what kept me here after all.” 

I leaned in and I wiped away the tears that fell down Chris’s face with my thumb. Our eyes lock as I rest my forehead against his. “You. I would have never met you or fell in love with you if I didn’t make myself recover. You’re the best thing in my life, Christopher Cerulli. You always will be.” 

She's not acid nor alkaline

Caught between black and white

Not quite either day or night

She's perfectly misaligned

Chris is silent for more than a few minutes and I see his face look so touched. He meets my lips in a tender kiss, I respond to him automatically, wrapping my arms around his neck– fingers moving through his blonde hair as he deepens the kiss. When he breaks the kiss, he keeps one hand against my face, thumb tracing my cheekbone. 

“I cannot even tell you how many times I’ve had fans come up and tell me that I’ve saved their lives somehow with Motionless,” He murmured. “But this… This means the entire fucking world to me. Despite it all, despite the amount of pain that you’ve experienced, you still want to stay alive and overcome it. You want to be here and keep on rising. I’m so proud of you, baby. I’ll always make sure to be here for you whenever this time of year comes around. One way or the other.” 

I'm caught up in her design

And how it connects to mine

I see in a different light

The object of my desire

My heart starts to flutter in my chest as I pull him in for another kiss, I’m so grateful for this wonderful and kind hearted man being in my life. 

"I’m so happy I have you by my side, babe. You make me feel better everyday,” I whisper. I see a smile across his face as he moves in to kiss me again, he shifts so I’m on my back with my head on the pillows. I raise a brow at him and he chuckles softly. 

“I just want to love you, right now.” My heart melts as he leans in and kisses me as he moves on top of me slowly, wanting to feel me against him as my arms find their way around his neck. He breaks the kiss and starts his trail down my neck, making my body stretch at the warm feeling. My fingers reached for the black tee that he wore. I pull it off of him, leaving him shirtless. 

I will never fucking get over how hot he looks shirtless. He looks into my eyes, we both break out into smiles as his hand moves towards my face, the lightest touch against my jaw as he meets my lips again.

He reaches for mine and he carefully slips it off of me, our skin brushing against each other’s and it makes me shiver in pleasure. He moves his lips to my shoulders, a sigh leaving my own lips. 

He takes his time appreciating the skin of my upper body, kissing the center of my chest and then moving to my breast, making me run my fingers through his blonde hair as he focuses on both of them slowly. His hands touch my tattoos until he brushes the scars on my arm.

Our eyes meet each other as I see him do something I’d never seen anyone else do, the gesture bringing tears to my eyes. He places his lips onto the scars, kissing them.

That gesture of affection from him made me want him as much as he wanted me. We waste no time getting the last of our clothing off of each other. He kisses me again before going down to my ribcage and stomach, tracing the phoenix on my hip once more as he looks up at me. 

Ooh, let's talk about chemistry

'Cause I'm dying to melt through

To the hеart of her molecules

“After everything you told me, is that why you have this phoenix tattooed on you?” He asks. I run my fingers through his hair softly and I nod. 

“Yes,” I say. “It’s my reminder to keep rising up from the ashes of my past.” 

"Perfect," He whispers. He moves back up and with a warm and meaningful look in his eyes, he places a sweet peck on my lips before moving back down. I suddenly feel his fingers and I let out a soft moan, he grins at the sound that I make. He starts teasing me with his mouth too. 

“Oh, fuck,” I whimper from the pleasure as he switches from using his fingers to his mouth, the way his tongue sweeps me making me cry out and he smirks because only he can make me feel this way. “God, Chris. Fuck.” 

He looks up at me as he caresses my skin with his other hand as his fingers move back inside. 

“I love it when you say my name.” He keeps his pattern going, pulling the best cries out of me. Whimpers and moans that nearly make me almost want to climax right then and there. 

“Babe… I can’t. I need you. Please,” He pulls his fingers away and he moves back up, meeting my lips in a passionate and deep kiss before I decide to push him onto his back on the bed, taking him by surprise as I straddle his hips. I take both of his hands in my own and pin them above his head. He breaks away with a look of shock in his eyes. 

“Well, Lycia. Goddamn. That was hot,” He says and I start to giggle. 

Til thе particles part like holy water

If anything, she's an undiscovered element

Either born in hell or heaven-sent

Either way, I'm into it

I let go of his hands as I took that second to slide onto him, we both let out moans together. I start to move slowly, putting both of my hands on his tattooed chest. 

He lays his own hands against my hips, guiding my movements and tracing my skin as our lips meet in a sweet kiss for a moment, our eyes never leaving each other as he starts meeting my movements with his own. He rests his forehead against mine, I lean down and bury my face into the crook of his neck as our pace stays in this gentle and passionate atmosphere. 

“Babe... Don’t stop,” I whine softly as I see a seductive look cross his warm brown eyes, making me even more turned on if I could. I lightly pull on his blonde hair, a soft growl escaping from within his chest. He leans into my lips once more as he deepens our movements.

“Never, baby. Never.” He murmured as we kept our pace going until we reached our climax together-- me collapsing in Chris’s arms as we both were panting against each other. My head laying on his chest as I trace his tattoos with my fingers, his eyes closing at my touch.  

“I love you,” I whisper as Chris runs his fingers through the dampened strands of my hair, placing a kiss onto my forehead. 

“I love you too, honey. I always will.” I curl into his chest as he holds me close in his arms, never wanting to let me go. He rested his chin on my head as we both fell back asleep together. 

She's not acid nor alkaline

Caught between black and white

Not quite either day or night

She's perfectly misaligned

I wake up later that morning to an empty bed, I glance around for Chris as I sit up in bed. I then see the most beautiful bouquet of my favorite flowers, which are Queen of The Night tulips, they're a type of tulip that are so dark in purple that they look almost black and a note on my nightstand, my heart starts to melt. 

Had to head into the studio to finish the final touches on Scoring The End of The World. I’ll be home in a few hours with a surprise for you. I love you, my Lycia. Never forget how much I love you. 

“You’re the best boyfriend ever, Christopher Cerulli.” I say as I get up out of bed, seeking a shower, a clean set of clothes and breakfast, which is what I do. I changed into a pumpkin orange crop top from Fashion Nova, a pair of ripped black skinny jeans and pulled my hair into a ponytail before opening up my laptop and answering emails, responding to Jeremy about who we should feature for next month’s Outburn. 

I'm caught up in her design

And how it connects to mine

I see in a different light

The object of my desire

A few hours later, I hear the door open and close and my head snaps up as Chris walks into our living room with his hands behind his back. 

“Hi, baby. You said you had a surprise for me?” I asked. 

“I sure do.” He smiles as he sets down a black box with air holes in front of me, sliding it towards me. I hear what sounds like a whine coming from the box. I raise a brow at him.

“Did my present just whine?” I say and he shrugs at me. 

“Maybe,” He says. “Why don’t you open it up and find out, honey?” 

I kneel down and I open the black box and out pop two black pug puppies, their heads sticking out and looking at me with their big brown eyes. My heart melts as I squeal softly. 

“Chris! You didn’t!” I hear him laughing. “Oh, they’re so adorable!” 

I slowly pull them out of the box, I see that one has white on its chest and the other has white paws, the one with the white paws starts to lick my face, making me giggle. 

“They’re brother and sister,” Chris kneels down with the pups, stroking the other pug gently. “Ricky told me he had a friend who was fostering pugs. As soon as he sent me the photos of these two, I knew they were perfect for us. I also knew that you’d love them.” 

“I do,” I murmur as I look at him. “Oh, babe. They’re so precious. This is the best surprise ever.” I lean in and place my lips onto his, kissing him deeply as he moves to hold me in his arms. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you more, my Lycia,” He places a tender kiss on my temple. “So, what should we name these two?” 

“That’s easy. Fang and Luna,” I smile and he grins, kissing my lips in agreement as we watched Fang and Luna play together. “I love that they’re black pugs too. They remind me of Edgar, my friend Felix and his wife, Marzia’s pug. How did you know that I loved pugs?” 

“I talked to your friend on Instagram,” Chris tells me. “Marzia. She told me how much you love seeing Edgar and Maya when you fly out to see her and Felix. She told me that Edgar was really close to you. She helped me with all the essentials on how to take care of pugs too. You’re very lucky to have such lovely friends like her. So I knew that I had to get these two for you so you can have a reminder of Edgar when you’re home with me.” 

I couldn’t have asked for a more loving boyfriend if I tried. The fact that he spoke to my friends before surprising me with this… It meant so much to me that he cared so much. 

“This is seriously the sweetest thing you could have ever done for me,” I told him. “You’re the best boyfriend ever. Words are failing me because I’m so happy.” 

He smiles and kisses me sweetly on the cheek. 

“Good. Because nothing matters to me more than seeing you happy.” I hug him again, listening to the sounds of Fang and Luna’s barks as I close my eyes against him, enjoying this wonderful moment of time.

Not acid nor alkaline

Caught between black and white

Not quite either day or night

She's perfectly misaligned

I'm caught up in her design

And how it connects to mine

I see in a different light

The object of my desire…

(PS: Meet their pugs! This is Fang and Luna! x Tiger)