#oh also i stand by the fact that peter pan was low key the bad good guy. like dude stole kida from their homes so they wouldn't ever grow up

[definitely-maybe-not-a-cryptid]

Ok so I had a weird ass dream so have this odd story idea that came from it that I can't write because Im low key bad at writing. (Please someone who can write help me make this a book I can read? I think it would be so cool)

"filthy cat you leave my girl out of wonderlands mess!"

"Oh we would, but she is out best option available right now, we tried miss alice lidel first but it would seem being In wonderland broke the poor girls mind, she's locked away as they try to repair the damages. Though we do think we can convince her to help if we restore her memories of the night that she really lost her mind."

-idea is that wonderland had a list of people it sees as possible worthy canadets for their saviours from many a different universe's, [redacted] was once the chosen one. The top of the list until he escaped wonderland and grew up leaving it behind as no more than a nightmareish memory. Now they want to take one of his adopted daughters and he is having none of it. Forming a deal to save her sanity he aggres to return to wonderland to help them resolve their current issues. Along the way he meets others who wonderland has destroyed such as one miss alice lidel, who has returned to help wonderland in order to try restore her memory of the night her family was murdered. (Follow the plot of madness returns) and several other children who were unfortunate enough to fall into wonderlanda clutches. He helps them along the way to the best of his abilities and even helps a few newer 'recruits' escape before it is to late for them.

-ita like a mix of alice in wonderland and coraline, the cheshire cat can travel from world to world to entrap the children but ultima there is a main driving force which tries to hook them from wonderland, coraline was one of the kids who escaped, other mother was originally a recruiter for wonderland much like the white queen but turned to the queen of hearts side once wonderlanda plauge broke her mind and instead she turned to trapping the children and breaking their minds or stealing their souls and spiriting them away from their worlds.

-other victims include the lost boys of neverland, peter pan who similarly to other mother started off trying to help them and resorted to just spiriting them away from their world and saving them from abusive or horrible house holds that way and ignoring wonderlands issues, hook in this instance is actually just trying to free the children to return them home as they clearly can't help wonderland, wendy and the other darling children are some of the only to escape pan.

Izuku midoriya had been considered a candidate but the boy never was able to be convinced to step foot in wonderland and eventually grew to believe the 'imaginary friends' were nothing more than that, imaginary. Thought up by a quirkless boy as a way to deal with a friendless childhood and as a coping mechanism for the mental damage the bullying caused.

Chihero/sen from spirited away was technically one of the wonderland children who escaped but due to that part being so secluded from wonderlands main lands it is considered an entirely different dimension not connected to wonderland and thus she is not taken to wonderland to help them, they know the only reason she helped so much in the first place was she was motivated to save her parents

If wonderland can be saved, then they will return all the children home, thought they made no mention of the fact that some of them have been here so long there isn't much home to return to, while they try and return them to a time as close to when they left It is not always possible, many of them will be considered missing children cold case's in their worlds by now.

The queen of hearts has been defeated many times, but this time is different, if they don't destroy all traces of her, her following and all curruption in wonderland then there is no doubt it will return and they will be needed again, and so the children are bought in, stolen away as to save the day by ridding wonderland of it's curruption. First lidel and [redacted] are sent after the queen while the others go after the likes of other mother, peter pan and her other minions, then once the queen falls they must destroy the jabberwocky and all the rest of her currupted creatures. And finally there is a purge of the curruption. Once that is over they are free to return to their worlds, to their homes and the doors to wonderland are sealed shut and destroyed on both sides to prevent anything unwanted getting in or out of wonderland. (Eg door in coraline, white rabbits hole in alice in wonderland) and now the only ways in and out are through being lead and taken by a creature of wonderland who can naturally transport/teleport/travel from dimension to dimension. Such as cheshire cat or before he was defeated pan, now cheshire is the only one Left (they is known of)

Most of the children return and assume it was all a dream or something their minds made to deal with the trauma of what they went through (many believe they were kidnapped and forgot about it due to truma?) Most stay quiet about it those who speak end up in hospitals labeled and completely insane.

[jq37]

[obligatory recap ask]

**spoilers for subway skirmish and borough of dreams**

@kickmuncher3 and @galfast: ty for your asks, I’ll use them for the next two recaps. this is probably the least efficient way for me to handle this but I want to keep all of these visually consistent dammit. 

One of the funniest things about this season of D20 is most if not all of the cast has lived in NYC which manifests as very specific references and in character complaints that you just know come from a place of truth and experience. Which is to say we got a lot of that in these episodes.  

Also, this has nothing to do with anything but living in NY update: On Sunday, I saw a man hanging upside-down from a tree--by his feet--and playing the flute. And barely anyone registered it at all. So I really cannot stress enough how much New York is Like That.

Pete opening the fight by blasting a fireball and then telepathically calling out Kingston is--como se dice--a Power Move.

Brennan *immediately* channels the opposite of whatever energy Emily's on and goes right for Ricky's dog to the horror of everyone at the table and his absolute delight. Like, it's a spectral dog but still. Bro. Dog. 

Kingston taking the heat metal damage to get Epona to drop him is so raw. But then, for the rest of the fight, he doesn't say a single thing except for his Command spells which is a very different kind of raw. 

Question: Is Riz's mom the only good cop that exists in D20?

I know this was an RP ep and I know they knew it was gonna be an RP ep but I wonder what would have happened if they had pretended to cooperate with Epona to get more info. Probably just an extended RP ep that would have segued into this same fight eventually. But I'm curious about what information they let get eaten by a swarm of rats.

Misty's Irresistible Dance spell is very clutch. 

The gators from the last fight are back in the form of Kug's summons and one of them still has a grudge against Misty. Misty is all, "send me your resume!" because she appreciates the spunk. I was starting a sentence about what the hell play this sentient gator is going to be in but as soon as I hypothetically asked it my brain was like, "Peter Pan. Next question."

Y'all, this really was Kug's fight. Between calling the roaches, crocs, and gators, channeling Moonshine to call lightning, and killing Epona within 40 mins of the ep, he truly was on fire. Good for him. He also turns into a bear but specifically a bear that would have escaped from the zoo. It's the little details that make this show great. 

Brennan putting his foot down on tying rats together not being acrobatics is the eternal DM mood. 

Back to Epona for a second, do we think she was working for Robert directly? Someone connected to him? Something else? When her shadow split after Ricky's attack was that meaningful or just flavor? Where did that badge come from? Has it always existed? What does destroying it mean? It didn't seem to help. The bad cop ghosts were still around, just no one could control them at that point. If they had yoinked that badge, could they have had a summoning item that hey could use? Or is it bad karma to use something like that? Is it still bad if you're forcing the bad cops to do good stuff? Did Brennan anticipate this or is the Coach Daybreak 2: Electric Boogaloo? Lots of questions.

Misty's cutting words to the cop (saving Ricky) making the Law and Order "DUN DUN" noise is great. 

Emily ends up not needing to roll to make rat nunchucks because her health goes low enough that her magic ring activates but I feel like she low key wanted rat nunchucks. 

Wild that Kingston went down for just long enough for it to be cinematic before being revived by Misty ("Get up, old man,")

Also wild that this whole fight only took about 45 seconds of in game time. It makes sense if you think about it the way you would a movie and that's how most D&D fights are but that's so much play time for so little game time and it hit me this ep because I was actually keeping track of rounds. 

Anyway, I have not mentioned up until this point that the whole crux of this fight is to last long enough for Alejandro to roll high enough to summon the train to Nod but, long story short, Pizza Rat shows up to save the day. Does that make more sense in context? Marginally. 

I like that the train to Nod shows up on the wrong side of the tracks. Like I said, man. Details. 

Oh and to my above point about the cast making comments about NY as people who have lived in NY, I loved Brennan looking directly at the camera when he was going off on people who just stand at the door like idiots while you're trying to get in and then Siobhan pokes like half her head into frame so she can also stare directly into the camera. Mood.

When Ally said Pete shoots Kingston I half believed it for a good couple of seconds. I was right there with Lou. 

OK, so I don't know how many of you have watched Sharkboy and Lavagirl (and, if you haven't feel free to skip this bullet) but no movie has brought me more enjoyment overall than SB&LG. Not because it's good because it's not. But it's so insane that it's amazing. It's right in the sweet spot. I always say, if it was any better, it would be Spy Kids 3 and, therefore, unwatchable (SK 1 + 2 are dope as hell though, for the record). I bring it up because the way Brennan describes Nod reminds me a lot of Drool in SB&LG. Like, the rollercoaster subway car def could be in the same universe as the Train of Thought. This is all to say that I think Brennan could have written a version of SB&LG that was better without being worse. Idk if that comes across as complimentary, but it is, and to both parties actually. 

From the way Nod (the kid) is being framed (in this ep and the next) I know we're not supposed to mistrust him but, put in that situation, there is no way I would trust the gray faced, black eyed, creepily gliding dream child. 

Post fight, Kingston wants to offer an apology for what he said about Pete and Nod wants to apologize for putting Pete in his current situation. Also, the group decides to be more open in general. Kug, as most of us guessed, got beauty and the beasted for white collar crime by his business partner (Gabby) who is Esther's mom and a witch (also, Ricky thinks his crush on Esther is a secret which is just adorable and completely incorrect).  

Brennan cuts sharing time off because this is the combat episode dammit! Save it for next session. But, because I'm behind, next session is now! Let's get into The Borough of Dreams.

Misty, as a faerie, is instinctively mistrustful of vising other magical worlds and eating the food or taking things at face value. I love that she's playing a character where she can ask these questions and not be meta-gaming because I had some of the same concerns. 

Wildly, WALLY walks out of the train as he just happened to be on it (as conductor) at the time. Kug bursts out with the fact that he's his dad and Wally takes this to mean that Rat Jesus is his bio dad but, even after being left alone for so many years, he claims Bruce as his real dad. He's wrong but he's sweet. 

"I thought you were mad at me." Brennan, you didn't have to do that.

Murph clearly trying to not accidentally call Wally a piece of shit because that's his go to Kug way to describe things is so funny.

"We could turn me into a rat." WALLY

Kingston and Misty looking at each other like, "These absolute children," while Pete and Soph are making Brittney Spears references. 

So we find out what all of the magic stuff they picked up does. Misty's mirror can see invisibility. Pete's grill helps with persuasion. The thousand hour energy makes you immune to sleep for 42 days(!) The bagel can be used for divination or to essentially kill a person but spread their essence throughout the universe  (which low key sounds like a sacrifice someone might make to help cancel the spread of say an undead presence or a money virus). 

I want Ricky and Wally to be friends forever. 

Kingston's lack of connection to the dream world is so sad. Like, he's no nonsense but he's like NO NONSENSE. Like no nonsense possible. So he's just walking around like Eddie Valiant in Toontown. 

And, at the same time, the rest of the party is doing the MOST nonsense. Mary Poppins-ing into the sky. Misty is making out with the moon. Wild. 

SOBER SALAD

Ally drops the ketamine on the tomatoes line and Brennan fully breaks

Very sweet for Pete to bring Kingston a salad, even though that's such a random food to just have in your pocket(???). Why does salad keep coming up on this show? One more time and it's officially a motif.

So the dream world basically works on Sharkboy and Lavagirl/Xanth/Phantom Tollbooth/Wonderland/Toontown logic. If you've seen/read any of those, you basically have it down. 

"Only people with Sprint have service."/"Oh, amazing!" Brennan threw that softball out for anyone who wanted it and Emily, as usual, hit it out of the park.

Brennan very clearly knows his NY history. The mob boss (lucky Luciano, no not that one) that he mentioned during the sleeping with the fishes bit is a real dude and basically the dude who brought organized crime to the US (in the form we know it now). 

Ricky and the mints. Lord.

Anyway, the one item I didn't mention earlier is the holy grail detergent which can literally clean souls. Which sounds mighty interesting considering some of the other stuff that's come up this campaign. 

(Also, I wonder if you could use the bagel as spell components since it contains everything in the universe in microcosm).

I can't believe Pete was the one saying, "At least eat before you shotgun that 1000 hour energy." By the by, the 42 hour span of the energy drink makes me suspicious. Is that just for humor (and accurate math) or it this a Chekov's Gun kind of an item indicating some kind of time jump at some point? Ricky drinks it later in this ep so, if there's a clock attached to that, it's ticking. I'm prob reading into this but I assume if you're still reading these, this is what you're here for. 

Ally making sawing motions before being told an egg creme has nothing to do with eggs and is in fact a drink.

Pete! OK, so Pete has made some good steps in this ep, starting with promising to start reining in the drug usage. Later he works on his magic and also gets over Priya. This is the most endeared I've been to him all season. Especially his, "I try to do a good job," line. I felt that. 

"It's still open to you." Aw.

Brennan clearly saw the chance for a lore drop this ep and boy did it drop. Let's run through the highlights.

Nod dumped all this on Pete the way they did because it's super super hard to contact a Vox Phantasmus beforehand due the the natural, waking world inclination to brush off dreams. You have to have the job before you can talk to the boss. Cruddy system but that's how it goes. 

When Sophie said the thing about Robert Moses creating spaces that can't be accessed she meant by magic but it's an interesting way to phrase it because the irl Robert Moses is known for (allegedly, but like, it tracks) trying to keep black people out of certain spaces. 

Robert Moses sold his soul to Hell and Faerie which is why he's still alive it seems. No one wants to collect on his soul and anger the other party.

Whoever predicted that the golden door for Emma Laz's poem was the rectangle from episode one, collect your prize because it's confirmed in this ep. 

We learn about the ephemeral axiom which basically says, a dream can be all things but once it manifests, it's a single thing. (you might even say, "it is what it is".)

So another big thing we learn is that if a dream gets so big that manifesting them in the real world would break the game, it's called a Paragon. There are four total: Heaven, Hell, Faerie, and The American Dream. (Wild that The American Dream is the only country specific one that exists. Like, I rep my home team of course but the U.S. is a pretty latecomer to the country party. You'd think someone else might have gotten Paragon status at some point.)

"Was one of them the Grand Canyon?"

Anyway, dragging the American Dream into the waking world would fix the American Dream to mean one thing--I assume making tons of money if Robert Moses has his way. I'll admit, I was a  little fuzzy on the mechanics of this on my first watch-through because pulling the American Dream into the real world sounds like it should be a good thing. But I think, at the most basic level, it's a matter of you shouldn't put magic that shouldn't be in a box in a box. I'm still wondering about the exact implications for the waking world if he succeeds though. Like, how would that manifest? Would everyone suddenly become money hungry (lol, how would you tell)? Would people still want what they want but the American Dream would just be understood to mean making stacks and none of the good Superman-y stuff?

"It's not Protestant work ethic is it?"

Robert Moses is undead and can't get into Nod, so those are good things to note. 

I was so ready for Wally is get dispelled and for him to be a figment of Kug’s imagination or a dream or something. I braced myself so much. I was ready to set up a firing squad for Brennan for doing that to Kug.  

Who tipped the bugsters off to where Pete was gonna be? As far as I can tell, the only people that knew were the gang plus Alejandro and Esther. Maybe someone was scrying on them and that’s what the roll Zac failed during the wedding ep was. 

As soon as Brennan mentions locking the door, Ally immediately makes the connection and goes, "Key to the city." Nod "locks" the American Dream and gets rid of the lock which seems to mean the American Dream is temporarily unavailable. Which seems not good and like it's gonna have collateral damage for sure but I guess you bad is a matter of degrees and Robert getting in would be worse. But still, imagine your immigration papers get declined because some random kid decided to close down the American Dream for a couple of days. 

So, we get some backstory of Misty. She apparently just was straight up not having a good time in Faerie so she stole Titania's shoes (allowing her to be in iron-filled NYC without triggering her fairy vulnerability) and peaced out. 

"She's gonna kill you."/"Only if she can get here and I have her Goddamn shoes." (**A million airhorns in the distance**)

I love that Emily is still on the souls thing. Emily doesn't believe in Occam's Razor. In fact, I'd like to propose a corollary called the Axford Axiom: The coolest path between two points probably isn't the correct one, but it should be! I want her to run a campaign so bad so I can see her be in a game where her crazy endgame is what's going on because she's the one who wrote it. 

Misty: Let's go to hell!

So much like a videogame, the map has opened up and we have three places to check out. The former locations in the dream world of Faerie (Carnagie Hall), Heaven (JFK airport), and Hell (where do you think? Hell's Kitchen). The gang splits up to look for clues (and drinks, in Misty's case). Actually, make that four places: Pete goes to the Met Museum of Memories to basically Avatar mind meld with the other Voxes and get a handle on his magic to a degree (thank God--Nod?). We'll take these in order of appearance, which means we're off to Hell with Kug and Ricky (plus Ox and Wally).

(Focus on the Pizza, baby!)

At first I wanted Ricky, the good boy, to go to Heaven, but the idea of a firefighter in Hell also has appeal. 

Re The rat holding his guts: Gross. 

Ricky holding his axe like a cell phone.

So we and Kug learn that the rat-spell that was cast on him wasn't actually a rat-spell. It was a spell that would make his outsides reflect his insides and his insides happened to suck. I'm wondering if that means that it's a static spell that reflects his outsides at the time it was cast and it would need to be recast to reflect any moral progress made or if it will just revert him once he's made enough progress. 

I'm also wondering (partially bc one of my players asked to do this last session) can a Druid wildshape into a person? I feel like no, but like, did any of you ever read Animorphs? You know how in book 1 Tobias gets stuck as a red-tailed-hawk but then later her gets his morphing ability back and then he can turn back into his human form for 2 hours at a time? What if Kug just started doing that? Just being a rat who is sometimes a dude. 

They also go to the statue of liberty (which has a French accent, natch) who shows them that there's, like, a money/greed virus infecting the Dreaming and the American Dream. Ricky smells undeath again. They think vampires. That's plausible but I'm not sure. 

OK, Heaven. 

WHOOOO, strap in y'all

(Sidenote: I wonder what would have happened if Soph hadn't chose to go to heaven. I feel like she could have easily run into you know who in hell had she chose to go there, but I'm getting ahead of myself).

Brennan actually tries to lead Emily into the thinking about Dale mindset but Emily, having reached a note of closure in Soph's character arc, pushes back on that.

honeyougotastormcoming.gif

Brennan,about to wreck her entire life: Cool.

I and the cast keep saying heaven a lot but it's like an all roads lead to Rome situation. It's heaven, Valhalla, Elysium, nirvana. Like, whatever Good Place you believe in. It's the Good Place. 

Sophie, upon being told that if she jumps into the fight at the Pearly Gates she knows nothing about, she might literally die: And what about it?

Emily's face when Brennan says, "And you see Dale," is so much. You can see the entire range of human emotion in her eyes in that moment.

Sidenote: I wonder how much of her backstory Emily planned and how much Brennan dropped on her. Like, she knew Isabella was part of her backstory obv. Did Brennan come up with all of this whole-cloth or did she say she wanted there to be something supernatural and and let him fill in the details. Very curious about the collaborative process.  

 When Dale's character art comes up, it says "Sophie's Angel" for Dale's descriptor so where I thought we were going was that Dale was Sophie's Guardian Angel who wasn't supposed to be romantically involved with her and the reason he was gone is that he was forcibly brought back to heaven. But that may be because I recently watched this.

Dale, is upsettingly sweet with Sophie, calls her "sweetie" the entire time they're together, fights a ton of angels to get to her, and says he got her text message. Emily is about to cry. *I'm* about to cry. I'm sure the only reason Brennan isn't fistpumping is because he needs to stay in character. 

Dale gives this cryptic piece of advice before he is dragged off by angel guards: When you get to the top, I know what it'll seem like, but there is someone there.

Emily, of course: I fight the angels.

The angels, hilariously, don't take it personally that she's fighting them--and very well, but not well enough to beat a nat 20. Sometimes the dice are spooky in tune with the story.

"He's got a job to do here. Who's gonna watch the deer?"

Dale also tells Soph to tell Jackson he said hi which is interesting to say the least. 

Emily gets two very dope lines in a row:

"Let me hold your hand through this Alejandro."

"I'm gonna kill her. And I don't think she's going to the great big airport in Brooklyn."

That's it for her for now, but let's put a pin in that for now and come back to it after we check in with the others. 

Siobhan and Kingston are at the former spot of Faerie, the Glamour Bar.

Zac jokingly (I think) guessing Dr. Doolittle as the thing Siobhan can't remember when she says Eliza Doolittle is so funny. 

Also, her terrible cockney British accent on top of her actual British accent is great.

I love that the two actual Real Adults are the ones who go and get wasted mid-mission. 

Brennan introduces "Bobby Goodfellow" and it takes Siobhan exactly four seconds after Brennan finishes the word "Goodfellow" to be like, "It's Puck." She knew and she knew her character would know it and she hardcore pounced.  

I meant to mention this before but it's super funny that Kingston has been around the magical block but there's still so much he doesn't know. He was surprised by a bunch of stuff in this ep that I'd think he would know about (like the Midsummer's faeries being real) but nah. He's like, "This is my specific brand of magic nonsense. That's what I know about. I don't mess around with any of *that* stuff. I stay in my lane. I stay in my city."

Ty Brennan for teaching me how to pronounce sláinte. This is the first time I'm hearing it out loud. 

I love his Puck voice. Like, the little British street urchin voice.  

No big surprise, Puck sent the mirror on the order of Oberon and Titania (who are not back together but are knocking boots according to him). 

Puck warns Misty, "The world of mortals is not long for this world," and follows it up with a seemingly sincere, "Come home. We miss you," which is an interesting thing to say after announcing that Titania is gunning for her. Who is this we, Puck? Your boss wants to bodyslam her!

Also, what do the faeries know that they're not saying? All of them in the bar seemed to know something was off but none of them said anything and Puck didn't elaborate. 

I've always liked the trope of the person from the otherworldly, magical or super advanced being like, "Idk what you're talking about. Humans are great!" because it's the opposite of the snooty elf/vulcan/whatever trope that I really can't stand. Misty showed shades of that in this conversation but I feel like there's still so much that we're missing in her backstory and I wanna know what it is.  

(Also, this is prob just me being a little pepe silvia but I would be very unsurprised if Misty got an opportunity to betray the party at some point. Don't @ me. It's just something I could see myself offering to a player for the drama of it all). 

Anyway, Kingston is extremely uncomfortable in the bar and makes a hasty exit so let's go to the museum with Pete and Nod.

Ally jumps onto the, "Suggested donations are for suckers" train w/ Siobhan. 

Turns out, Pete f'd up Robert up so much that he has kind of a brain link with him. I wonder how long that's gonna last. 

Pete gets proficiency in arcana and a choice between lesseing wild magic surges or gaining some control over them (2 wild magic rolls on a fail and ally gets to choose which effect takes place). Obv the second one is more fun rp-wise so that's what Ally picks.

It's a memory museum so OF COURSE he gets a chance to look at the memories of the rest of the party. But it's getting late so he only has a chance to check on one person's memories. He, naturally, picks Kingston. Makes perfect sense from an RP perspective but out of character I feel like Misty is the most closed book of the party. 

Pete sees Kingston's life from his childhood to the present (Brennan puts Lou on the spot to do some improv...I mean beyond the improv they're already doing) and it's about what you would expect based on what we know about Kingston but it's very beautifully described (sidenote: did any of y'all ever watch the life and times of juniper lee? where she can't leave the city bc she's like the buffy of that world? I really felt shades of that, except more self imposed).

During that montage, a character is like, "You could make hundreds of millions of dollars--I mean, I'm exaggerating," (s/t like that) and I'm not gonna go back and check but I feel like Brennan (or maybe Lou) made almost exactly the same comment in the first ep of this season in a very similar context.

Oh, also, Kingston gets dubbed Vox Populi by a dragon on Bleecker Street in case you were wondering about logistics. 

Again, Nod says that inviting Liz into his life was basically dooming Liz to be stuck dealing with the Unsleeping City but I feel like unless you have a Vox position or something similar you should be able to, like, opt out. So what you need to ignore some weird stuff day to day? May I direct you to my earlier anecdote about the flute dude in the tree. New Yorkers are good at that. And if she moved away, would it even be an issue?

Actually, that raises another question. Is NY the only place where magic is happening? It can't be because Santa is doing his thing at the North Pole. And NY has the Umbral Arcana which shields magic from muggles. Does that mean that elsewhere, magic just isn't hidden? I'm guessing that works because the bulk of magical happenings are happening in NY. Which, again, if so, couldn't Liz just move if she really wanted to? Or is she actually being *kept* there? 

Ahhhhh, that argument scene with Kingston and Liz. Ow. 

Robert's subconscious is heckling Kingston's memories the entire time. 

The party gets back together, Pete immediately lets Kingston know he was memory spying on him and hugs him (while Misty is drunk a singing over him). Their rift literally caused a kind of rift in NYC which is now healed (which causes Sophie to see the Unsleeping City/Dreaming Yin-Yang sign over their heads).

 Ricky drinks the 1000 hr energy so start the clock I guess. 

Misty, upon hearing that Dale is dead basically does that John Mulaney bit: Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like [s]he sucks and I will totally kill that guy for you. 

It's the day of Priya's art show which I totally forgot was happening. Before that, Sophie finally goes to see her brother and we can return back to that pin I mentioned earlier.

(Also, it’s the 20th which means we’re getting really close to Christmas)

He says that their family got mixed up with the Confettis and they've been helping to launder magical items that Confetti is paying some rep from Hell (an associate of Robert's).

And by, "Some rep from hell," I mean Isabella Infierno specifically.

Emily, hilariously riffs for a while about how small it was of her to call Isabella a succubus even though she clearly knows at this point that Isabella is some kind of demon. I mean...Infierno. Come on. 

Sidenote: Which demon actually trying to be subtle would pick the last name Infierno? You wanna blow your cover for the aesthetic that bad?

Emily goes, "Oh my (beat) Nod," which I think is the exact way she dropped the first, "Oh Melora," in one of the first eps of Naddpod. 

Anyway, it turns out that Soph's family knew that Isabella was gunning for Dale (he was getting close to realizing something shady was going on) and, while they didn't call the shot, they let it happen.

Oh! He also says Dale was a chosen one from "some monastery" which, of course, fits in with Dale's comment about saying hi to Jackson. Now I'm wondering if his other comment--about there seeming like there's nothing at the top--is about whatever chosen one test he had to take to get the position to begin with. And maybe he was giving a clue to Sophie so that when she takes it, she'll for sure pass and get whatever dope powers or weapons or privileges come with the position. 

"The only reason I'm not going to go after you right now is because I'm not organized enough to give you the fucking revenge you deserve." Soph is cold as ice after hearing about what her family did. 

"Maybe you should have said that to Isabella before she went after me." Another mic drop line from Emily. This really was her episode. You can really see Emily channeling hr genuine emotional reactions into her character.  

La Gran Gata shows up to let Soph know she has her back to hunt down Isabella. The only other warlocks really seen played are Fjord on CritRole and Leiland on Bloodkeep so it's wild to see a character with such a chill relationship with their patron.

So, Priya's art show. They show up (to a distressingly unsafe building from Ricky's perspective) and it turns out, not only is it performance art (the worst kind) Pete *is* the art.

"I present to all of you: cruelty, a exploration of a relationship. Peter, take my hand."

major barf.

Pete goes OFF

Kingston: Picasso is art, this is bullshit!

Siobhan: Her last name is Danger? I hate this bitch.

Pete gets over Priya instantly which totally tracks because, like I said, barf. 

Sophie stealing Ricky's thing and rooftop jumping. Zac narrows his eyes when she says that.

I love Isabella's title card. It says, "Literal Succubus". It reminds me of the funniest scene in Bedazzled when the Devil (Liz Hurley) gives Brendan Frasier her business card and it just says, "The Devil".

But she's here and she's here to fight! I'm so excited for this one y'all! Unsafe building. Lots of civilians. Sophie (and Emily) going totally feral. I haven’t looked forward to a fight this much since Adaine went for Aelwen. Let's gooooo!

[therewasatale]

Imagine: You’re living with Peter B. Parker and one day you talk with him about your negativ body imagie

word count: 1851

chubby reader, and some body positivity 

for Anon who ask me to write some more Peter B. Parker imagine. sorry it took that long. also this is not excatly a peter x reader story. more like a platonic relationship. 

The growling of your stomach sharpened the world around you. The reminder that you haven't eaten anything today and your body needed some nutrients.

Holding a full bag in one of your hand you tried to search for your key, all the while cursing under your nose.

"Son of a-, damn...where's the fuck…of course it's at the bottom."

You felt the anxiety appearing in your shoulder, it slowly began to spread into your body. The first thing that tensed was your arms. You didn’t even realize you were clenching your jaws.

You were too hasty, and you know that you were too hasty for no reason. And still.

Finally, you finally found the key, but you were unsuccessful in finally putting it into the lock. Instead, you knocked it against the lock, and dropped it to the ground. Your stomach has been repeated its growl a little bit louder.

For a few moments you looked down silently. You had to hold yourself together, and stop your tears from starting to flow. After shut your eyes, and took a couple of big breaths before you leaned down and grabbed the key. Your hands were shaking so much that it took you three times to open the door. You pushed in the door and as silent as you could and you found yourself in front of your flatmate.  

"Hey, (Y/N)!" Peter B. Parker stepped out of the bathroom wearing a blue hoodie and his sweatpants. Furrowing his brows, he hurried to you. "Anything okay? Something happened?"

You nodded a little as you stepped out of your shoe. Before you spoke you had to clear your throat. "Yes, of course, everything is okay, just a long day. But I did the shopping at least, it was my turn."

Peter watched you for a moment, then nodded and took over the bag with the food. "All right, I'll help you unpack."

You got in further dropping your backpack on the living room's sofa and letting out a small sigh.

Another world, another life.

Two months ago you lead out in the world of B. Parker. Your life turned to the top of your head after you were in the wrong place and the wrong time. But, as it turned out, there was something good in every bad thing, you had lived alone in a small hole, and now you lived with Spider-Man in the same sublet.

Of course this didn't go from one moment to the next.

Something happened to you when that portal sniffed first and when they, the other Spider-Men, wanted to save you and take you home your body started to fall apart. You still remember the pain that cramped you, you felt like every part of your body burned and wanted to consume it itself.

Neither Peter, nor the other Spider-Men had any better idea, than letting you stay in this world.

You tried to fit in at the beginning, but even if you were far from being proud of this fact, you didn't succeed. You felt lost and weak, you felt like a loser who couldn't stand on their own feet. And then, on a rainy night, when you were in your deepest despair, you found yourself knocking on Parker's door. Since then, there is a roof over your head and a friend who listens.

The first few days you mainly spent in confusion. You never thought that you would be able to talk with Spider-Man, much less live with him. However, the wonder of the thing has gone away and turned into a pleasant confidence. Especially after you saw Peter doing breakfast in his sweatpants more times, than seeing him fighting in rubber clothes.

Your grumbling stomach shook you from your, thoughts. Your hand moved automatically hitting the source of the sound, as an attempt to signal to your body to shut up. It was a stupid habit, and you had no idea where you picked it up to begin with.

"Hey, I think it's murmuring because there's nothing in it." Peter scratched his shoulders and stepped closer to you.

You shrugged "I will eat later, I still want to finish editing, they are waiting for my project." You started to walk towards you room.

Peter rolled his eyes. "Come on." He put his hand on your shoulder and lightly turned you towards the kitchen. "Let's eat something, I actually wanted to tell you about this morning."

"About the fire in that apartment?" You let yourself be guided.

"What caught on fire was his private "garden".  I think I got a little bit high or something, because I babbled something to the fireman regarding "whipped cream"."

"And then you almost hit a lamp post." You interjected smiling under your nose.

"Then I almost hit a lamp post." He repeated grimacing. "Sometimes I curse the invention of the smartphones and the internet. By this time, you could make a small collection of my various screw-ups."

"Come on Peter," You shook your head with a smile. "You saved a man's life, who cares that you got a little bit high and became a bit too cheery after that."

"If you say, (Y/N)." He spun one of the kitchen chairs out for you and started digging around in the fridge. You sat down and he asked:

"So what do you want to eat?"

Your smile withered as you glanced down on yourself "Some vegetables."

"Hmm spaghetti?"

"I said vegetables, Peter."

"Oh, you're right, the tomato is a fruit." He replied totally ignoring the deeper meaning behind your words.

"Peter..."

Your stomach once again vocalized its impatience, which made you feel uneasy again.

"I think, it' agreeing with me." He put water in a saucepan to boil it while continuing to search for the meat. Surprisingly he felt at home in the kitchen.

"Mh, well, somebody who has such a big mouth, better just shut up." You rubbed your belly and sighed nervously.

Peter stopped the rummaging around and turned his eyes towards you blinking.

"I just-" You waved a little and our face run red with shame "Nothing."

Parker put down the plastic container looking at you. "Nowadays you're eating less and less, and in smaller portions."

"Are you just spying on me, Spider-Man?" You snorted sarcastically, and then when your guilt appeared, you turned your head. "Sorry, I didn't want to be a jerk."

"Hey," you winced when he put his hand on your head. "I'm just worried, we became good friends, and you know," Peter smiled at you as you looked up at him, "Spider-Man has precious few friends, so he tries to take care of them, at least in his own lame way."

You looked at him silently for a few moments. You broke the silence with a sniff when your tears started to flow.

"Ah, damn it man. How can you tell me things like that when-" you sniffed a couple of time, but you couldn't help but smile trough the tears "-when I ate nothing and my bloodsugar is low?"

Peter slowly stroked your head.

"I'm sorry, I'm still practicing this emotional stuff, I was a little rusty lately. So, you tell me what's wrong and I'll teach you Peter B. Parker's legendary spaghetti?"

You hesitated for a moment and then nodded standing up. He put the noodles in your hand to break it into the boiling water while he put up some oil to warm up in a pan.

"It all started at home. As you can see, I am not a small person, as in figure. And I was informed about this from my parents and my classmates. I think all of their bullshit convinced me that I should feel like shit because I'm fat, and definitely not beautiful. Beautiful, hell, I felt I was close to being repugnant."

You broke the noodles into the water using more vehemence than it needed. Peter just listened silently, while watching you, guessing it wasn't everything that you had to say.

"And when I moved here I felt like I was getting a new start, a new opportunity to start over everything again and this time do it well. Or at least to try to do it better. " You looked down and poked your belly. "And with a new life, I will need a new body too. Or at least, something that looks a bit better."

After you finished, Parker slowly hummed beside you. He also looked down at himself and then at you, then again at himself.

"Well, mine is bigger." He turned towards you, letting out his belly. "Look at this majestic belly!"

You looked at him wooden spoon in your hand, and as you saw his satisfied grin you couldn’t help but chuckle.

"Hey! Do you know how much work I have in this belly?" Peter looked at you with mock offense and stroked his belly. "You have no right to laugh."

"Sorry, sorry, but you're still a hero with superhuman abilities. I don't think a few extra pound slows you down that much."

"Are you kidding? Do you know how discriminatory the ventilation systems are in modern buildings? A well fed hero like myself" he pointed at himself "or an overly buff hero will have serious problems if he or she tries to crawl through them. It seems as if they intentionally want to make the work of the heroes more difficult."

He smiled warmly as you chuckled again. When he spoke again, his voice was somehow different, more serious. "There's nothing wrong with you, (Y/N). You're pretty as you are, whatever those old memories are telling you they're not right." He scraped the minced meat in the oil and started to slowly stir it. He glanced towards you smiling a little.

"If you want, maybe we can go jogging together, or even just walk if you want to start exercising. Not strictly to get rid of the extra pounds, just to get some air."

"Well..." you hesitantly put your weight on one leg then to the other.

"Before you say anything, I only ask you not to starve yourself. You need your strength." He looked into your eyes with a serious expression. This caused a kind of warmth to run through you. "All right?"

You nodded a little. "Okay, I'll try."

He smiled and stroked your head again. "Thank you. Come on, I'll show you how to do the seasoning, and then when we're done we can take a walk in the city."

"Aaand maybe we'll go to one of the animal shelters I found on the web?"

"(Y/N), we've already discussed this." Peter snorted, but you saw the tiny smile on his face.

"MJ also said that you need someone who you could take care of and look after."

"That is true."

"See? That’s why-"

"That’s why I let you live in here." He squinted towards you.

"Hey!" You chuckled.

Aside from that you noticed that technically, he didn't say no. So, you just had to take him to the shelter you already chosen, it will be smooth sailing from there.