#offer arguments if you want (I LOVE DISCUSSIONS) but don't hate for the sake of hating

[lilacerull0]

Okay, me again 🤭 seems like Little Women is preoccupying my thoughts tonight, and I don't remember if I've seen you talk about this, but I'm really curious: thoughts on Jo and Bhaer ? I really liked him in the book (which i read before seeing the movie) but not as a romantic interest for Jo, bc he's so much older than her. Then the movie made him younger and I feel like the actors had so much chemistry, I was genuinely rooting for them! And while they do end up together in the end, I read this article talking about how this did not happen "irl" but what Jo put in her book bc the editor wanted the main female character married off. This was also supported by the colors of the scenes, how the present day scenes are all duller/cold colors vs flashbacks/scenes of the book Jo writes being so sunny; the epilogue scene (where Jo and Friedrich are married) is drenched in sunlight, and the scene of her chasing him to the train station is also very warm-colored. So thoughts on this whole thing? It's all the more interesting for me to hear them bc I'm obviously looking at this from a very romance pov (can't help it lol) but platonic, friendship love is the lense you look through most of the time (or so I've noticed).

There are two witches within me. One loves Jo and Fritz and doesn't care about the nature of their relationship as long as they're having fun being their lovely nerdy selves, the other one is perfectly aware that I, as someone who strongly identifies with Josephine Jo March, would only agree to marriage if it resembled the one Jo and Fritz have in the books. (Would still elope though, let's not get too ahead of ourselves, was talking to a childhood friend a few weeks back and my sister joked about me possibly having already eloped with someone and my childhood friend said: Jo. That would be very you. I rolled my eyes and started to talk about how incompetent the writers of my bio textbook are, but who am I to argue, I'm just the person in question here.) I strongly recommend reading Little Men and Jo's Boys because, to be frank, those works forced me to accept the grip this fictional relationship has on my rotten, evil, spinster-wanna-be heart. The rest is under the cut because it all got concerningly long. How shocking :O

It's complicated! But it always is with me and my romantic otps because I always identify with the people involved in those ships that I almost ship them in spite of myself. It's easier if I identify with both parties and if I identify with them in a way that doesn't make me completely insane (aka I don't identify with them entirely), but offers me a certain amount of comfort probably because I've already come to terms with the thing about them that I relate to. (this is how I feel about sparkly GG's Dan and Blair) BUT with Jo and Fritz or with Ten and Rose I just go :| because they involve characters who find the idea of settling down repelling and uncharacteristic to their understanding of themselves, like in total contradiction of who they are or have always been and then there's this person and it's just... well this. I think what makes it even more unsettling for me is how this isn't exactly a conscious decision, it's just that Jo and Fritz love spending time together. They simply enjoy being around each other and geeking out and talking literature and art and politics and philosophy and Jo feels so seen and understood in an intellectual sense for the first time ever and that's so big and so important to her. And I think that's what will always be true about their dynamic no matter how you view it. (and I beg to argue that lw 2019 offers enough room for any interpretation)

(Mainly talking about book Jo x Bhaer in the following paragraphs because I don't ship them in the 2019 movie and my interpretation overlaps with the one you presented in your ask, boy do I love having multiple versions of the same story in my head.)

Idk they just kinda slip into sharing their personal worlds with one another, there's not really a big realisation about the nature of their bond while they are together, the italicized oh moment is a result of overthinking the interactions after they have already occurred. While they're together it's just fun and pleasent and Jo doesn't have the time to go through potential meaning of it all while it's happening which is quite telling because, with Jo being a storyteller, she observes every moment from that lens, but with Fritz reality is somehow enough? YOUR HEART UNDERSTOOD MINE?!?!??!?! That's from the book, that's the essence of Jo and Fritz. You can't exactly stay immune to that. Like Fritz is the most Jo-ish love interest Jo could have gotten. He's bookish and an outcast and raggedy (affectionate) and so deeply kind. In the words of Penn Badgley (I love using his name as one of a great philosopher, @/tumblr girlies jochase has A Type) it's this completely heady thing where Jo falls for this person because he's her imperfectly perfect intellectual match and he gets her and he listens and she ends up loving him romantically because of all that. It's a progression! This is Jo March, of course it's a story in chapters, right? Everything is a story with Jo. And Fritz is kind of her indicator that real life can be just as literary, but maybe not in the way that she expected it to be? LMA really said if I have to marry my girl off she's getting the most unconventional marriage there is or she's dying, like that's it. All in all, it's such a cool dynamic regardless of the label you decide to put on it, but I think in the book you can't read it as anything other than romantic because it kinda takes away from the power of what LMA did with them, you know? Also like. I love how, in the book, Fritz isn't portrayed as conventionally attractive, but it's quite clear that he is attractive to Jo, which is also a brilliant move on Alcott's part. Also peace.mp3.

[who-is-page]

We sort of started this discussion at Chimeras' Othercon panel, but I wanted to keep it going so I figured I would send an ask. What do you think it would mean for our community to drop the focus on voluntary and involuntary identities? I agree that we fundamentally should, but a bunch of things immediately jump to mind.

Our community has spent years leaning heavily into the lines between voluntary and involuntary identities and taken special care to make massive distinctions between them, leaving little to no room for grey area. It's no bit surprise that alterhuman spaces have had actual, legitimate, longstanding issues of grilling and gatekeeping. Nonhumans with nuanced and complicated identities are forced to shove themselves into a box to fit into the community, and the ideas we have about certain identities needing to be involuntary are absolutely baked into many aspects of our community and its history.

At the same time, we have used this unjustified gatekeeping in part to protect the community from genuine threats and appropriation of our terminology. The way we have limited our concepts of who is allowed to identify in what ways is generally wrong and has no doubt harmed a subset of kin, but at the same time is understandable in the sense that it has a cause. Yes, this was an issue even before KFF, but KFF certainly don't make it easy to create space for genuine voluntary kin and other voluntary alterhumans.

How do we create the space for nuance and fluidity and complexity in these terms and identities after we have spent so long defensively creating rigid boundaries and restrictions regarding the ways people are allowed to identify? How do we address community gatekeeping while also protecting our community from the people who use our identities and terminology in bad faith?

I have a lot of ideas, but this is obviously a very complex topic that we can't just solve in a day. I was just curious to hear your thoughts, if you had any. Hopefully once our personal website is up one of our first essays will be about this issue. (Also, how is Page? /hj)

So I know we’ve been sitting on this ask for... -checks watch- ...almost two weeks now, but it’s genuinely because I just wasn’t sure how to answer it for a good long while, and I didn’t just want to throw out some haphazard, half-hearted answer to such important questions. So here’s our thoughts on the debacle.

Voluntary and involuntary is a focus I doubt we’ll ever see any of the alterhuman communities permanently drop, for several reasons.

The first and foremost being that, by the definition of the term “alterhuman,” defined here as “a subjective identity which is beyond the scope of what is traditionally considered ‘being human’,” both experiences at their most extremes technically fall underneath the label, rendering the distinction (to some) vitally important to helping understand and define their identity/identity labels. The difference between KFF as an alterhuman identity and forms of otherkinity as an alterhuman identity, for instance, as you mention.

And then there’s the societal factors to consider. People like nice, neat little boxes: people like to be able to compartmentalize their communities, with no overlap, with no spillage, with no complications or grey areas or nuance. It’s a fact of life that people often instinctively want to water down labels and identities into more easily digestible formations, though there are arguments around why people precisely do it. And, as you point out, that often means alterhumans and nonhumans with more complex or nuanced identities typically get shoved into one box or another that they may not perfectly fit into.

When we zero in on specifically the otherkin community, this becomes even more complicated given the community’s rife history: abusive p-shifter groups, the appropriation of language by roleplayers and fiction writers, zoophiles attempting to forcibly associate otherkinity with pro-bestiality movements, and the blatant general misinformation spread by laymen and academics alike, just to name a few relevant problems the community has faced and continues to face. The community is stubborn to a fault, largely because it’s had to be in order to survive. It holds to its preconceived notions and rigid boundaries like a dog with toy aggression to their favorite plush stegosaurus. Fittingly so, really.

So how do we take that stubbornness and change it to be more inclusive to our own? How could we, while still surviving all that onslaught and more? That’s the big question.

In regards to the larger alterhuman community, we’re blessed in the fact that it’s still such a young concept: it hasn’t quite yet had to face the “pathological anger” Religious Studies professor Joseph Laycock has described otherkin as bearing the brunt of. It’s still a community figuring itself out, with much of the anger you find related to it aimed at specific subsets of community within it, rather than at alterhumanity as a whole. And I think the fact that the alterhuman community is still metaphorically air-drying on a table means we have the opportunity to prevent anti-nuance and anti-complexity attitudes from taking hold in it. How we do that is another battle in itself-- I feel like the encouragement of inclusive dialogue, of open discussion intermingled with considerate or civil attitudes, within alterhuman-marketed spaces is a good starting point. I also think that the encouragement and legitimization of “alterhuman” as its own standalone term would be a positive force, where it functions as a broad, diverse identity label in addition to being an overarching, joining umbrella label. A label where someone doesn’t have to give details away of their identity if they don’t feel comfortable doing so, or shove themself into a box they may or may not actually feel they fit into. Something functionally similar to how many people use “queer,” if you will.

But that still leaves aside the issue of identity and terminological misuse, I am aware. And that is...an abstract thing to ward against, at absolute best. I think that the defining of our own spaces not only through our words but also through our actions would perhaps be the best thing we could do, realistically. The cultivation of websites, of group projects--books, zines, comics, pictures, forums, anything!--, of community-led conventions and meet-ups and howls and gatherings. Things which foster and build a community identity of sorts is the best defense against those who would try and distort that which makes us, us.

Zooming back in on the otherkin community, these answers change slightly, because--going back to the clay metaphor--the otherkin community has already metaphorically been glazed and baked (in the fires of hell). That history is cemented, the ways people have wronged it and continue to try and wrong it is cemented, the assumptions and attitudes are cemented.

With the otherkin community, I think that the burden of changing minds and pervasive attitudes falls a bit more onto the shoulders of “community leadership,” because of how the community functions and values both community experience and articulation. There’s a reason we don’t have a term comparable to “greymuzzle” in any of the other alterhuman communities, after all-- it’s a well-known and often aggravating quirk of the otherkin community, to hold certain individuals in such high esteem and put them on a pedestal because of their longevity and the things they’ve done and said. I hate to say that they have to set an example, but in the otherkin community that really is one of the best ways to advocate for change, or to push against those gatekeeping and grilling attitudes--by those who are largely well-respected putting forward ideas that have previously been mocked or disavowed, pushing debates on their legitimacy into community consciousness until it eventually trickles into community normalcy and foundation.

(This is, as you can imagine, a double-edged sword depending on how it’s used. But that’s a discussion for another day.)

That’s not to say that the ideas of creation and creativity with the goal of cultivating an inclusive community identity, like I suggested for the alterhuman community, is inapplicable to the otherkin community: but the otherkin community already has a long-term community identity, so it’d moreso be creation and creativity for the sake of formative inclusion. “History is always written by the winners” is a very, very literal phrase in its application to the otherkin community. Our community memory, for lack of a better way to put it, sucks from individual-to-individual. The future of the otherkin community, its eventual-history, is determined by its historians and creators of today: day-to-day arguments and discussions, unless deemed historically relevant by one archivist or another, disappear to the sands of time, and much more long-term recordings such as essays, websites, comics, etc., often go far beyond just its creators hands and get passed around and down for years, potentially. If you want a more nuanced and inclusive community, you have to dig up the clay for it, shovel by shovel, and bake it yourself, brick by brick, and eventually, with luck, or enough backing prestige, or just because those bricks are so astoundingly solid people can’t resist taking some to build their own foundations to nonhumanity, things will change. It will take time above all else, but once it’s there it will be impossible to remove, because people will just assume those bricks have always been there given enough years.

But those are just some of my thoughts and opinions on it. It’s an issue with so many layers of complexity to it, that there’s really no perfect answer out there that I can offer, and I know even what I’ve shared here has its flaws and drawbacks. I’m sure plenty of my followers also have additional thoughts on the subject, and I’d love to hear from other people what they think in the replies and reblogs.

(Also, Page is a very tired boi.)

[itsclydebitches]

Here's a quandary I've suddenly found myself in: where do you stand on writers deleting their own works, fanfiction or otherwise? I've had this happen to me on more than one occasion - I go to look for an old favorite and find it's since been deleted from whatever site I read it on.

On the one hand, I'm inclined to think that, "Sure. The author wrote it, it's their call. I don't own the work - I certainly didn't pay for it. It's their decision, even if it's disappointing."

But at the same time I can't help but consider the alternative - if I believe in death of the author (and I do), that an author's work fundamentally isn't solely theirs once it's been published, posted, etc., then it also seems wrong to have a work deleted. Stories aren't the sole property of their creator, after all.

But then I circle back. D'you think there are different obligations between authors and readers and the works being made in fandom space? I know if I had bought a book and the author decided they wanted it back, I would feel pretty comfortable telling them no, given I'd paid for it and whatnot. But that's a different world from fanfic and fandom space generally.

So. You're insightful Clyde, I'm curious as to what you'll have to say here (and to all y'all thinking about it, don't flame me. I haven't decided where I stand here yet - haven't heard a good nail-in-the-coffin argument for or against yet).

Val are you a mind reader now? I’ve been thinking about this exact conundrum the last few days!

(And yeah, as a general disclaimer: no flaming. Not allowed. Any asks of the sort will be deleted on sight and with great satisfaction.)

Honestly, I’m not sure there is a “nail-in-the-coffin argument” for this, just because—as you lay out—there are really good points for keeping works around and really good points for allowing authors to have control over their work, especially when fanworks have no payment/legal obligations attached. In mainstream entertainment, your stories reflect a collaborative effort (publisher, editor, cover artists, etc.) so even if it were possible to delete the physical books out of everyone’s home and library (and we're ignoring the censorship angle for the moment), that’s no longer solely the author’s call, even if they have done the lion’s share of the creative work. Though fanworks can also, obviously, be collaborative, they’re usually not collaborative in the same way (more “This fic idea came about from discord conversations, a couple tumblr posts, and that one headcanon on reddit”) and they certainly don’t have the same monetary, legal, and professional strings attached. I wrote this fic as a hobby in my free time. Don’t I have the right to delete it like I also have the right to tear apart the blankets I knit?

Well yes… but also no? I personally view fanworks as akin to gifts—the academic term for our communities is literally “gift economy”—so if we view it like that, suddenly that discomfort with getting rid of works is more pronounced. If I not only knit a blanket, but then gift it to a friend, it would indeed feel outside of my rights to randomly knock on their door one day and go, “I actually decided I hate that? Please give it back so I can tear it to shreds, thanks :)” That’s so rude! And any real friend would try to talk me out of it, explaining both why they love the blanket and, even if it’s not technically the best in terms of craftsmanship, it holds significant emotional value to them. Save it for that reason alone, at least. Fanworks carry that same meaning—“I don’t care if it’s full of typos, super cliché, and using some outdated, uncomfortable tropes. This story meant so much to me as a teenager and I’ll always love it”—but the difference in medium and relationships means it’s easier to ignore all that. I’m not going up to someone’s house and asking face-to-face to destroy something I gave them (which is awkward as hell. That alone deters us), I’m just pressing a button on my computer. I’m not asking this of a personal friend that is involved in my IRL experiences, I’m (mostly) doing this to online peers I know little, if anything, about. It’s easy to distance ourselves from both the impact of our creative work and the act of getting rid of it while online. On the flip-side though, it’s also easier to demean that work and forget that the author is a real person who put a lot of effort into this creation. If someone didn’t like my knitted blanket I gave them as a gift, they’re unlikely to tell me that. They recognize that it’s impolite and that the act of creating something for them is more important than the construction’s craftsmanship. For fanworks though, with everyone spread around the world and using made up identities, people have fewer filters, happily tearing authors to shreds in the comments, sending anon hate, and the like. The fact that we’re both prefacing this conversation with, “Please don’t flame” emphasizes that. So if I wrote a fic with some iffy tropes, “cringy” dialogue, numerous typos, whatever and enough people decided to drag me for it… I don’t know whether I’d resist the urge to just delete the fic, hopefully ending those interactions. There’s a reason why we’re constantly reminding others to express when they enjoy someone else’s work: the ratio of praise to criticism in fandom (or simply praise to seeming indifference because there was no public reaction at all), is horribly skewed.

So I personally can’t blame anyone for deleting. I’d like to hope that more people realize the importance of keeping fanworks around, that everything you put out there is loved by someone… but I’m well aware that the reality is far more complicated. It’s hard to keep that in mind. It’s hard to keep something around that you personally no longer like. Harder still to keep up a work you might be harassed over, that someone IRL discovered, that you’re disgusted with because you didn’t know better back then… there are lots of reasons why people delete and I ultimately can’t fault them for that. I think the reasons why people delete stem more from problems in fandom culture at large—trolling, legal issues, lack of positive feedback, cancel culture, etc.—than anything the author has or has not personally done, and since such work is meant to be a part of an enjoyable hobby… I can’t rightly tell anyone to shoulder those problems, problems they can’t solve themselves, just for the sake of mine or others’ enjoyment. The reason I’ve been thinking about this lately is because I was discussing Attack on Titan and how much I dislike the source material now, resulting in a very uncomfortable relationship with the fics I wrote a few years back. I’ve personally decided to keep them up and that’s largely because some have received fantastic feedback and I’m aware of how it will hurt those still in the fandom if I take them down. So if a positive experience is the cornerstone of me keeping fics up, I can only assume that negative experiences would likewise been the cornerstone of taking them down. And if getting rid of that fic helps your mental health, or solves a bullying problem, or just makes you happier… that, to me, is always more important than the fic itself.

But, of course, it’s still devastating for everyone who loses the work, which is why my compromise-y answer is to embrace options like AO3’s phenomenal orphaning policy. That’s a fantastic middle ground between saving fanworks and allowing authors to distances themselves from them. I’ve also gotten a lot more proactive about saving the works I want to have around in the future. Regardless of whether we agree with deleting works or not, the reality is we do live in a world where it happens, so best to take action on our own to save what we want to keep around. Though I respect an author’s right to delete, I also respect the reader’s right to maintain access to the work, once published, in whatever way they can. That's probably my real answer here: authors have their rights, but readers have their rights too, so if you decide to publish in the first place, be aware that these rights might, at some point, clash. I download all my favorite fics to Calibre and, when I’m earning more money (lol) I hope to print and bind many for my personal library. I’m also willing to re-share fic if others are looking for them, in order to celebrate the author’s work even if they no longer want anything to do with it. Not fanfiction in this case, but one of my fondest memories was being really into Phantom of the Opera as a kid and wanting, oh so desperately, to read Susan Kay’s Phantom. Problem was, it was out of print at the time, not available at my library, and this was before the age of popping online and finding a used copy. For all intents and purposes, based on my personal situation, this was a case of a book just disappearing from the world. So when an old fandom mom on the message boards I frequented offered to type her copy up chapter by chapter and share it with me, you can only imagine how overjoyed I was. Idk what her own situation was that something like scanning wouldn’t work, but the point is she spent months helping a fandom kid she barely knew simply because a story had resonated with her and she wanted to share it. That shit is powerful!

So if someone wants to delete—if that’s something they need right now—I believe that is, ultimately, their decision… but please try your hardest to remember that the art you put out into the world is having an impact and people will absolutely miss it when it’s gone. Often to the point of doing everything they can to put it back out into the world even if you decide to take it out. Hold onto that feeling. The love you have for your favorite fic, fanart, meta, whatever it is? Someone else has that for your work too. I guarantee it.

So take things down as needed, but for the love of everything keep copies for yourself. You may very well want to give it back to the world someday.

[inglourious-imagines]

Hate Me, Love Me (Joe Liebgott)

Summary: Everyone thinks you and Liebgott hate each other and so do you. But especially after one heated argument, the sexual tension between the two of you is so obvious and the boys don't know if you're gonna kill each other or jump at each other.

Warnings: just heated argument I guess

Author's Note: I had so much fun writing this. Hope you like it! Also, feel free to send me requests any time about anything!

Taglist: @alienoresimagines @inallmylives

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"Can you stop complaining and shut the fuck up?" Y/N almost growled at the Jewish boy as Easy Company was taken from the town Foy in trucks that were apparently too uncomforable for the man next to her. "Oh Y/N, don't tell me you'd cry," he stated and lighted a cigarette, "you're a big girl now." The blood in her veins was boiling and the others could see all the anger bottled up in her over the weeks but they were just having too much fun with her and Liebgott arguing so they just watched them with amusement. Y/N grabbed his cigarette right from his lips and took a long drag from it.

"That was my fucking cigarette. Can't you just let me enjoy at least a bit of a nicotine?" Joe frowned and looked at her annoyed. "Don't tell me you'd cry. You're a big boy now, Joe." Y/N teased him with a spiteful laugh and blew the smoke right into his face. 

•••

Haegenau was quite a nice little town on a right side from a river whereas the left side was considered german, under enemy's control. That's why they wanted a night patrol in order to capture some hostages and take them back on the correct side of the river.

The night chosen for the mission was perfect for pilots - no fog or clouds, shining moon - but definitely not good for a patrol. 

Y/N was supposed to assist Liebgott with a machine gun. She was disappointed it had to be him but lowkey glad she's not the one crossing the river. Well and Lieb was actually excited because he never declined an offer to provoke and tease her.

Joseph Liebgott didn't hate Y/N, didn't have absolutely anything against her. He thought she was one of the finest members of Easy Company, a brave female soldier with so much love, strength and darkness in her heart. All the boys loved her and he wasn't an exception, except for one thing - he had probably a little more affection towards her in him than anyone else. 

Because of that, Joe got scared. He was now a veteran in the war, he knew how things work around here and therefore he also realised, it's not definitely a good time for emotions.

That's why they shared this love-hate relationship. Both of them knew they can rely on each other in the field, he knew she has his back, there was an absolute trust between them. But as soon as they got back from the front line or there was some kind of a break, the teasing and provoking began all over again.

•••

"All clear?" Richard Winters reassured himself before he let his men go. Even though they already had a new leader, it was still Dick Winter's Company.

Liebgott and Y/N positioned themselves with a machine gun ready to fire at any time. They were both realizing the proximity between them but neither of them broke the silence. Being on the front line again, they respected and admired the other one quietly.

•••

The first patrol was so successful, Colonel Sink wanted another one the other night with the same people. But Richard Winters was a smart man, as well as Lewis Nixon so faking a report was not a problem to them and Easy Company was allowed to have a full night sleep. 

"Yeah and Y/N, can I talk to you for a second?" Nixon called out after Richard Winters dismissed them and left with Captain Speirs. "Of course, sir." she nodded and followed him out of basement. 

"Leave the "sir" for someone else. I told you to call me just Lewis." Nixon laughed and handed her a cigarette. Y/N didn't use to smoke before the war and the first cigarette was given to her by the one and only Joe Liebgott. Every time she was smoking, the Jewish boy came to her mind and she couldn't help it.

"Hey! Are you listening, Y/N?" Lewis was waving with his hand in front of her face. His face was decorated with knowing smirk.

"What you smiling at, Nix?" Y/N teased him and playfully punched his arm. 

"You two should have a real proper talk."

"Why should I start a freaking conversation with Joe?"

"I didn't say with who. You did."

•••

When Y/N came back to the other boys, she was highly upset that Lewis Nixon found out and that it was only her fault. What only made her angrier was that Lewis thought that they'd make a perfect couple, like Romeo and Juliet which was actually pretty accurate because Joe was a Jew and she was partly German. Her people hated his people, therefore it worked the other way around as well. This totally got her mad and she stormed out of the room to join the boys.

"No, you damn idiot! What are you even trying to say?!" Liebgott's voice echoed in the basement. His fists were clenched, his face red - partly because of his anger bottling up in him, partly because he knew Bill's right. 

"You know damn well what I mean. You need to stop the game finally." Guarnere spoke surprisingly calmly and wasn't even offended by Joe's insult. Liebgott was simply hot-tempered and little did Bill know that he's the one telling the truth. 

"What game?" Y/N interrupted and the whole room fell silent. Her eyes wandered from one man to another and questioning them. 

Joe rubbed his eyes in annoyance, "Damn it! You don't need to know everything."

Y/N was already angry and this only added the oil to the fire. "Well, I'm sorry Mr. I'm-the-best-and-everyone-can-kiss-my-ass that I actually care!"

"Oh c'mon! Don't start with this. Go and chase Nixon and his dick for fuck's sake!"

"Really, Joseph? You're just jealous I'm not chasing yours."

No one in the room dared to say something in their matter. They were almost afraid to breathe. Their eyes were jumping from Y/N to Liebgott.

"Now I don't know if they're gonna kill each other or kiss each other." George whispered to Perconte and chuckled a bit. 

"Hey, Luz! What's so funny about me and Joe's dick? Please, share your idea with us?" Y/N turned to him with narrowed eyes and her arms folded on her breasts. 

"Nothing's funny about you or his dick." George mumbled and looked at the ground. He felt like he was caught red-handed. 

"Really? But I heard you laughing. So tell us, don't be ashamed." she encouraged him with a devilish smirk.

"Can we please stop talking about my dick? Please?" Joe joined in slightly annoyed with the whole situation. 

"Oh! Sorry, Joe!" she exclaimed with an obvious irony in her voice, "would you like to discuss this in private?"

The room was dead silent again. All eyes were on Joe when he tried to get out some words but he only managed to stutter, "W-what?" 

"That's called a fucking sarcasm, you moron." Y/N rolled his eyes but added with a smirk after a few seconds, "But I'll take your 'what' as a no, okay. Thought we could have some fun." A wink was sent Joe's way. 

"No!" he shouted probably way too quickly. He shrugged and took a few steps towards her. His usual cocky self was back. "You want to fight, girl? You'll follow me now to the empty room upstairs and there, I'm gonna declare a war."

"Eww!" George shouted, "get the hell out of here, we don't want to listen to your sugar sex talk."

[imagitory]

hmm, how about an au where the dursley's don't treat harry horribly but there's like, still some obvious tension? like idk, maybe aunt petunia is more prominent here due to her weird relationship with the wizarding world and her sister

Hmm…let’s see…

1) Back in 1980, Lily not only wrote Petunia a letter about Harry’s birth, but asked to speak to Petunia about something very serious. Petunia, naturally, purposefully ignored the letter and its request. Lily was hurt by the rejection and considered writing another letter, but James instead decided to speak to Petunia himself. When James showed up on the Dursleys’ doorstep, Vernon angrily tried to eject him from the premises, but James stood his ground and kept his temper as best as he was able. “Petunia, listen to me,” he urged her, “Lily is scared for your safety – we all are! She wants you to know what’s happening in the Wiz – our world, so you and your family will be safe! I know you hate magic, but I know you want your family to be safe, just as much as we do! If you don’t want to talk to me, I get it, but…just hear Lily out! Please!” Several days later, Petunia decided to meet with Lily. The two rode their respective children in their prams to the visit, and Petunia laid eyes upon Harry for the first time. Lily told her about Voldemort’s rise and her and James’s work with the Order. Although the two sisters still were very different people, Petunia was startled by the level of concern and genuine love Lily expressed for her and, despite herself, came to realize that Lily had never seen her sister in that “second place” category that her parents might have. Lily offered to place protective enchantments on the Dursley home, which Petunia refused, but Petunia didn’t reject Lily’s offer to stay in touch and even asked her to be careful.

2) This unfinished bridge toward reconciliation made it so that when Harry lost his parents and were sent to the Dursleys, Petunia at least felt immense guilt and obligation toward raising Harry for Lily’s sake. Vernon resented Harry immensely and Petunia still subconsciously favored her own son and distrusted Harry’s magic, but she still treated him like family. Petunia insisted on giving Harry the smaller of the two bedrooms upstairs (because Harry was always smaller than Dudley, and thus needed less room), and taught Harry to keep his “oddities” to himself so he could fit in with Dudley and his friends. Rather than Harry being hidden from everyone’s view, Petunia merely tried to make Harry appear and act perfectly normal. Vernon, who hated magic even more than Petunia, would insist on Harry being “normal” too, in the misguided thought that they could “stamp the magic out of him.” Harry would always know deep inside of himself, though, that he was not normal, and would get frustrated about Petunia and Vernon trying to tamp him down all the time.

3) Because Dudley would know about Harry’s “oddities” and Petunia would feel more of a flawed overprotectiveness toward both children, Dudley would grow up thinking he had to “keep Harry out of trouble,” and so would likewise try to follow both of his parents’ examples, giving Harry a hard time for “acting weird” and making up lies around the kids and teachers in school to try to cover them up. Dudley would still be “the golden boy” of the family, but less explicitly – it would be more insinuated in how Vernon would always compare Harry unfavorably to Dudley or in how Petunia would use Dudley as a positive example. This would prompt some resentment in Harry toward Dudley, but Dudley himself would only see it as him doing what his mother wanted him to do, which was to look after his cousin. Their relationship would sour dramatically when Harry started attending Hogwarts, as Dudley would hate that Harry rejected all of the “help” and “protection” he and his parents had given him throughout the years and Harry would be fed up with Dudley acting like he wasn’t ashamed of him and trying to make him conform just to make things easier for him. Nonetheless both boys would still feel some lingering familial affection for each other, since they grew up together and were in a way each other’s first friend, even if the friendship was unhealthy. It would be that affection that would fuel Harry to rescue Dudley from a dementor in his fifth year and that would prompt Dudley to completely reform himself by Harry’s sixth year, becoming thoroughly versed in Wizarding culture so as to better support Harry, much to his parents’ dismay. Eventually Petunia became more accepting of Dudley’s involvement in the Wizarding World, but only to the extent that she would ask the bare minimum of questions to get by – if she didn’t need to know something, she’d purposefully ignore anything magical in her general vicinity. Vernon meanwhile would often turn purple with anger and go very quiet whenever anything magical was brought up at all.

4) When Harry received his Hogwarts letter, Petunia and Vernon initially tried to conceal it from him, but upon Harry snatching hold of the letter and reading it, Petunia tried to persuade Harry to reject the invitation. After all, they’d planned that Harry and Dudley were already going to Smeltings together, right? Didn’t Harry want to go to school with Dudley? It’d be awfully inconvenient to return Harry’s school uniform and remove him from the school’s roster so abruptly. Harry felt the pressure to reject the invitation, but couldn’t accept it – he tried to persuade Petunia that it might be easier for him to keep his “weirdness” under wraps if he knew how to control it, but that argument went nowhere. After not receiving any reply for multiple weeks, Professor McGonagall paid the Dursleys a visit herself, in person. When she came to call, Vernon ordered Harry and Dudley to stay in their rooms upstairs and not make a sound until they came to get him. Dudley and Harry, however, disobeyed Vernon and crept out to the landing to listen in, where he heard the Dursleys talking to McGonagall, insisting that Harry didn’t want to go to their school and that he would be attending school with his cousin, as was proper. The meeting had been cold but relatively calm until McGonagall brought up James and Lily – the memory of her deceased younger sister brought out such a teary rage from Petunia that she ordered McGonagall to get out and to never come near her family again. McGonagall bringing up Harry’s parents, however, made Harry come downstairs at last. “You knew my parents?” he croaked, staring at McGonagall. Petunia and Vernon both tried to force Harry back upstairs, but McGonagall and Harry both ignored them, solely focusing on each other even as Dudley watched them apprehensively from the door frame. McGonagall stared at Harry, a slight shine in her eyes despite her severe face, and she said, “…Yes.” Even though Petunia was kinder to him in this version of events, she still almost never discussed her sister or her brother-in-law – the most Harry had ever gleaned was that they were also “odd” like him, and that they’d been killed by an evil man with similar powers. The thought of someone actually knowing them – of having liked them – was one Harry had always hoped might be real. Petunia and Vernon once again tried to throw McGonagall out of the house, but this time, Harry interjected, “I want to go. I want to go to Hogwarts.” The decision horrified all of the Dursleys, Dudley included, but McGonagall smiled proudly, saying that if Petunia and Vernon simply dropped him off in London that Friday, the Hogwarts gameskeeper, Hagrid, would be happy to escort him to Diagon Alley to get his school supplies.

5) Because of the shift in dynamic between Harry and Petunia, which resulted in him not being neglected and abused but prompted him to see his magic as a burden and something to hide, Harry is less starved for affection and more interested in following his own path, screw the haters. Therefore, when the Sorting Hat was placed on his head, it considered the mind it was reading very carefully, before finally shouting, “SLYTHERIN!” The Boy Who Lived – still a brave, hot-blooded, selfless young man – was Sorted into the same house as his schoolyard enemy, his mother’s ex-best friend, and worst of all the man who had killed his parents. Rather than treating his placement as an obstacle, however, Harry shrugged it off: he’d already been sort of held at arm’s length all the time back in Muggle school because of his magic, so being treated with suspicion was something he was used to. At least here he could actually do magic without being shunned for it! Instead he merely stayed true to himself, casually shrugging off his house’s negative reputation and falling back on his usual level of sass when he was down. His good humor, determination, courage, and noble heart resulted in him making many friends, including Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, Theodore Nott, and Millicent Bulstrode. Even Draco Malfoy, who Harry still disliked immensely, eventually became a bizarre frienemy, not just because of their shared house and them being on the same Quidditch team, but also the faint similarities Harry noted between Draco and his cousin Dudley. Snape would still resent Harry quite a bit, but in Harry’s later years, Petunia would finally open up a bit to Harry about Lily’s and her past, and he’d learn from her about Snape’s connection to Lily. After she opened up, Harry rather kindly opened up about his experiences with Snape at school, and upon hearing about Snape’s bullying, Petunia went full-on Mama Bear and wrote Snape ten very long, mean letters, including one very loud Howler that Dudley helped her figure out how to use, which arrived in the Great Hall in Harry’s sixth year and screamed at Snape about how ashamed Lily would’ve been of him. Harry was very embarrassed about the whole episode, even if he felt some faint schadenfreude at how beside himself Snape looked. The flood of letters did temper Snape somewhat, however, and made him treat Harry with nothing but distant silence for the rest of the school year.

AU Ask!

[mewmewnyaart]

I'm not very good at drawing horror and blood but I recently have been getting into OFF lately so I figured I'd try to draw batter to pratice lighting and shadows

I also made my own au where batter and hugo switch places but I doubt anyone would like it or even read it heck I couldn't even get a single like on any of my posts

But here I go anyway :

So common belief that the world of OFF isnt real and that its all happening inside Hugo's head because hugo is in a comma and that the batter resembles the father and the queen resembles the mother

And that the guardians are the boy's immune system and organs that are intolerant to the drug liquid plastic that is being experimented on hugo

The mother was always a working woman and never gave hugo attention while the dad was a straight forward and loving man (I also have a personal theory that he's religious)

The mother wants hugo to live but the father wants to let the boy die because he's tired of seeing his own child in pain everyday

Ok now that I have that out of the way here's my au:

In this au its the father that ends up in a comma and hugo is the one who tries to save him from dying

Backstory to how the dad ended up in a comma:

Hugo in this au is healthy and lives a normal life the father was once a baseball player (as a hobby) so hugo got inspired by his dad and started to take baseball classes at his school

One day the dad was dropping hugo off for baseball practice and while waving goodbye while slowly moving out of the parking lot a reckless older student who wasn't looking quickly backs up his truck hitting the father and sending him into a comma

Ok now for the characters:

We enter the game as hugo and we are greeted by the judge and we start our journey of "purifying" the world just like batter

The enemies represent different family members who dislike or or even hate the father and the father's phobias or fears as well as microbes or poisons in the father's system

Then we have other characters like pets,neighbors,friends who are good guys or people who side with hugo in the this au

Also the puzzles would changed in this au

Hugo is a child and the father would probably play alot with hugo and his games since the mother was always busy ,so instead of floating boxes we'd get more complicated versions of kids puzzles like connect the dots or fill in the shapes etc.

Now for who each character represents and then I'll move on to what the goal of the game is or what Hugo's mission is:

Hugo= he represents the son in real life but he also resembles a new antibiotic that's being experimented on the father

The judge = in real he's the family house cat named milk ingame he's a guide but I have my own head canon

so alot of people tend to draw batter with his eyes closed some draw 4 eyes some draw no eyes at all

I like to think that the father irl has bad eye sight or sensitive eyes so he wears special glasses but will not wear any glasses when at home because he doesn't like to so he will walk around with his eyes closed

So milk will guide him throughout the house by purring or meowing at him

As for the smile the judge has on his face hugo likes the movie Alice in wonderland over and over so the image of the Cheshire cat would be embedded in the dad's memory which is why the judge appears that way

He views the judge as someone who is helpful

The queen = the queen is his wife however they start to have alot of problems and arguments before the father fell in a comma

And the relatives try to convince her to turn off the life support and move on with life

Dedan= irl he's the father's brother in law with a snappy attitude and he hates the father alot and even objected in thier wedding day he will do anything to hurt the father or cause trouble

The father sees his brother in law nothing more than a all bark no bite a big mouth

Japhet= in real life is the lady that lives next door (yes I KNOW japhet is male but he's based off if her in the father's head)

She's is very controlling person who enjoys gossip and can't mind her own business always sticking her nose where she can as well as pushing everyone around she does everything she can to get attention and impress people and she's flirted with the father mutiple times but she's ignored her every time

She has very loud and noisy birds and has killed thier other family cat Venice saying that she did it as self defense (Venice is Valerie basically)

The father views her as a parasite

Enoch= he resembles another dad that takes his kid to baseball practice but is in bad terms with the mother and will constantly pick on hugo for fun

He assumes if the father approaches him its because his wife told him to do so

and will constantly say that his child and wife are happy ,living a life with no problems thinking that he's got life figured out

Even though its clear that his son isn't enjoying baseball at all, is quite over wieght as well as his wife ignores him all the time not to mention he's constantly eating meaning that he has some sort of food addiction it seems he sees no irony in his life at all

The father sees him as an irresponsible over wieght person who's always lying to himself and to blind to see the truth thinking that his life is ok when it's clearly not

Zacharie = irl he's the father's best friend since middle school and they've known each other for years he was the best man at the wedding he's bisexual and in a relationship with a girl named sweetie (please don't hate me batterie shippers QWQ!) He used to crush on the father and even confessed to him on the wedding day he was heartbroken but accepted that the relationship was never gonna happen and was even mad at his best friend but realized it was wrong of him to feel that way

He eventually moves on

He likes to bring and buy alot stuff and show them to his best pal later somegimes illegal stuff (he even brought weed over one time oh boy) he's like an uncle to hugo and is always happy to help and defend his best friend no matter what

He views him as a brother and family member aswell as a very optimistic chill dude and will jokingly refer to him as "the merchant"

Sugar: irl she's zacharie's gf (before her he had 2 toxic exes and she helped him out of those toxic relationships) she and the father don't really talk all that much so he knows little to absolutely nothing about her aside from the fact that she likes to talk funny sometimes and is really into dolls and aliens and a slight addiction to eating pixie straws (straws filled with powered candy or sugar)

He views her as a silent person nothing much

The elsens= they are the people that the father meets/sees/interacts with everyday/every once in a while but don't have much of a connection with (you know like a co worker you have small talk with or barely ever see)

Now for the plot :

After the father enters a comma the son starts to go from school to the hospital (they're very close to each other and you can say hugo is 5-7 years old and ) and visits his dad everyday and calls out to him hoping it'd wake him up

The mother scolds him for running off without super vision and that his dad won't wake up if he keeps calling him that whatever he does is useless that his father will remain to be a lifeless bag of meat on a bed

Hugo doesn't give up ignoring his mother's words

She realizes that hugo has an obsession with his unconscious father that is affecting his studies along with his social life

Zacharie doesn't make this any better because he offers to pick up hugo after school to prevent him from getting abducted or lost along with his jokes all the time

She slowly starts to Contemplate turning off the life support machine wondering if it would fix everything

Hugo hasn't been paying attention in class and thier marriage has been having a issues lately her family never liked or accepted him she sees zacharie and others as annoying and problems bringers and maybe they'd have less expenses if hugo didn't have to go to baseball pratice every day not to mention he'd less likely get hurt if he stopped playing

Everyone else started to convince her to turn off life support they discuss this next to the unconscious father

She prevents zacharie from seeing hugo and locks out any other connections the fatehr has

finally she becomes convinced however there's 1 barrier preventing her from doing that.....Hugo

The only person who truly gives hugo attention and love is his father without his father he'd feel lost and scared his mother is always working and doesn't give him much attention

Everyone tells him to give up on his dad and move on but hugo stands his ground

Alot of the arguments and conversations happen in the hospital room next to the father so he hears everything in his comma which leads to the creation of the world of OFF in his head

Therefore we play as hugo through out the game (dressed in a baseball outfit) solving puzzles and fighting enemies "purifying" the world

Not much changes the boss battles the add ons etc. Will remain the same in this au

Maybe there will be more rubber duck /duck/ bird themed stuff in this au aside from the pedalos (ex:move the boxes to make them look like a duck idk lol)

However the final boss will change

Canonly batter is stopped by the judge but in this au the judge sides with hugo because its the queen (the mother) who is trying to turn the switch off and hugo is trying to prevent that

So instead of the judge stopping hugo

Hugo will meet the queen, she will tell him to halt and not bother going any further that her intentions will not change hugo will begin to tell her off everything she's done wrong she will respond saying that she's doing it for thier sake (Hugo's and her's) but hugo calls her out and tells her its not true and she loses her patience with him leading to a boss fight if hugo wins then she will refer to him as "my little sweetheart" and fade into dust

"The room" will also change instead of hugo it'll be his dad (the batter)chained to a wall (basically a prisoner in his own mind) hugo will take 1 step forward activating a trap causing him to plummet down a tube and fall unconscious for a few minutes

When he wakes up he sees the queen and all the guardians standing before him the queen states that he can give up or die trying then she speaks to the puppeteer (the player) the you are given 2 options

1.aide with the queen

2.side with hugo

If you side with the queen you will have the guardians ok your side then Hugo's appearance will change as well he will appear to have a large head with a huge gaping mouth a baby rattle and apron and speech bubbles that say "wah wah" "whine whine" (stating that his mother sees him as a cry baby)

If you defeat hugo then the switch is immediately turned off and it gives 1 out of the 2 bad endings this ending is called "check mate" as a reference to a queen from chess

If you side with hugo then you will be defeated but you won't get a game over yet instead the queen will give you 1 last chance

Then you are given 3 options

1."surrender" 2."gasp for help" 3."cry"

If you choose surrender then you will get the 2nd bad ending in which in life support is turned off the father dies hugo becomes lonely with his mother busy all the time (and not allowing him out side the house and not trusting people) which leads to hugo growing up cold,plain and unloving

At some point there's a scene where adult hugo stares at his old mother laying on the kitchen floor in pain for a few minutes instead of helping her immediately indicating that he doesn't care

If you choose "gasp for help" then you will get the good ending "aye batta batta,strike!" In which hugo will call for help (while in deep pain from the fight) after a few calls judge,zacharie,sugar and a few elsens will come to the rescue and revive you fighting by your side allowing you to defeat the queen and guardians

Everything slowly starts to go back and the father wakes up from his comma everyone in the room stares in shock but hugo had the biggest smile on his face while standing next to his dad's bed "did...I miss something?"

"...daddy *breaks into tears*"

The 3rd ending called "better late than never" is triggered when you choose "cry"

Hugo will cry very loudly

The mother changes her mind and doesn't turn off life support but hugo stops visiting his dad and similar to the 2nd bad ending hugo grows up to be cold and unloving 13-16 years later hugo visits his father again and he finally wakes up from his comma and is discharged from the hospital after 1 year of rehabilitation therapy

By now the mother had remarried and the father missed his son's childhood so now he has to relive his life

However hugo meets a girl who is a complete opposite to him at work and church (rainbow hair,optimistic,enjoys music of various kinds,loves cute things,baking,jokes,and artist etc.) And is forced to work with her as well as she tries to get Hugo's attention so he asks his father for advice on how to get rid of this woman which leads to alot stuff going on and hugo allowing how to love and live life leading him to falling in love with the girl and becoming a new man

(This is personally my favorite ending lol and I MIGHT write fanfic of it on wattpad or here idk tbh )

Anyway this my OFF au I GUESS the name can change to the ON au or OFF/ON au lmao idk

Reblogs and feed back is appreciated

PLEASE DONT STEAL MY AU i worked hard on this thing spent 5 hours to write it all

Heh I sat this as of anyone is even gonna read whatever I dount it'll get noticed at all

[madcaptales]

Woeful Vanity

I hate weekends, especially the ones I'm forced to spend time in the company of friends I don't care for, friends who don't care for me, but these are friends regardless, compulsive acquaintances. It was raining that Saturday. I walked into the room to the sound of orchestrated cheers, had they planned it? I could only speculate. I'm sure they thought: "Here he is, the unsociable devil who reads and writes for fun, let us see what he is made of." Oh, I hated the lot, and scorned their collective pleasure. The preliminary rituals were being followed when I walked in, the music was blaring, the kind of shit music that supposedly elevated the mood; a joint and couple of cigarettes were being passed around; some were immersed in heated arguments, while others were laughing at unfunny jokes; another bunch sat huddled in the corner crushing more weed. Someone walked in with a Bong and beers, the chorus of appreciation was handed out yet again. The bong was set up, and the first person took a toke, madness and anticipation ensued, and to me it seemed like a farce. The doors and windows were closed, within minutes the room was filled with smoke. A room full of intoxicated people, intoxicated not by the substance, not yet, but by the idea of peace and buffoonery the substance promised, by the idea of freedom that it offered, a certain orgasmic pleasure. Then the "fun" started, I prefer to call it drollery. The crowd, drawing courage from their numbers, started voicing out opinions and ideas, everything unoriginal. Most of their ideas were ripped off from improperly researched social media posts, and narratives followed by TRP-loving pricks in the mainstream media. I've been part of such discussions before, and I knew I would be part of it for years to come. The topic of conversation always started with politics, and then moved on to boons of the internet, all of this hypocrisy while we were posting stories on Instagram with catchy hashtags. A few who were bold enough to venture closer to the truth were immediately shut off with snide remarks. And it was amidst these people, in an uncomfortable setting that I learnt the entire truth about my generation, we didn't want the truth. No, that just wouldn't work for us, we only want to scorn at people, and blame everything under the sun. We only want to disprove God, yet we are scared to go deeper, and analyse the possibilities. We only want intellect for the sake of showing off, the true essence of it doesn't matter. We believe ardently in Absurdism because Camus is such an intellectual thinker to throw around during debates, yet when faced with the true absurdity of life, we take to social media to weep about it. We leech on to those opportunities where we can blame the education system because it is a readily available narrative against our incompetencies. We deal with our insecurities by meddling with the innumerable addictions readily available at our disposal. We have lost touch with the meaning of love, it only matters to us as long as we can bloat about it to our acquaintances. We have let our aesthetics in Instagram profiles define our creativity, let our bio's speak for the authenticity of our characters. Social activism has gone online. We hide our faces with interesting Snapchat filters. Journaling is dead, we box memories in story highlights. We don't love poetry anymore, how can we possibly enjoy Neruda with attention spans so erratic? No, we are happy with our Rupi Kaur's and Rahul Kaushik's. Our success is measured by salary figures, careers have become monotonous, soul-killing stuff that doesn't ensure growth, but it certainly ensures decay. We recuperate by partying at weekends, and making fun of sensitive people with no tact, drilling deep into their emotional wounds to leave a permanent mark. Socialising is no more a choice, it is a mandatory prerequisite to fit in. We have replaced intelligence in individualism with stupidity in collectivism.

We have mapped out our lives with the limited freedom allowed in our tight-knit society that seeps with patriarchy, where growth is appreciated until it lies within the boundary of "accepted" liberalism. Now, our mobile phones can speak, think, and suggest how we lead our lives. Capitalism has made it possible to prod and poke a person's thinking to a certain path, it starts right from birth (a baby's soap), and goes on even after death (what kind of coffin is bought for the funeral). Our minds have been infused with distortions, heading no closer to truth than we were a generation ago, we live our lives with a deep sense of satisfaction, derived partly from the fulfillment of our materialistic needs, and also partly from our neighbour's inability to satisfy those same materialistic needs. Any help we offer is in an attempt to satisfy our ego's, and knowingly or unknowingly this is our life. A believer does good deeds in the hope of a good afterlife, a non-believer does it to hide his insecurities and shortcomings behind the goodness of his heart. Anything but the truth. No, we don't want it. Truth is hard, truth takes considerable courage. Truth breeds vulnerability, requires an open heart. Who has time for that? Not us. And who am I to make such vain assumptions? I am a part of this rat race, as much a part of this generation as any condescending fool. I am no better. My very thinking of writing this as I sat there in the company of other people, secretly judging them, and trying to dissect their characters collectively shows that my vanity has got the best of me. But hold on, don't make an assumption now. I know what you're thinking, "At least he's accepting it." No, even accepting it, or pretending to accept my vanity is just a final cry of my ego to gain sympathy. No, trust me when I say this, I'm no better. The point I'm trying to make is, I hate weekends, and the company of people. I prefer spending my time alone, reading a book or writing such useless discourses that benefit no one. But at least I'm being honest about it, doesn't that make me better? See what I mean? I bet you're shaking your head in disbelief, as you should or the entire point of this article has been misinterpreted. I'm no better!

— Sridhar Venkateswaran