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fullsunicfics · 3 years ago

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IM ON THEVERY EDGE OFCRYING,,,THE YEARNING ANDTHE LONGING IS STRONG ON THIS ONE. Kinda anticipating what yangyang is gonna do about his feelings and i love hyuck. I LOVE HIM IN ANY FICS

the way life goes — four

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: na jaemin x reader 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: you finally get jaemin to open up about his past and someone from his past ends up right in front of his doorstep 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 18.2k

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: slow burn, so much plot and too much dialogue, friends with benefits, friends to possible lovers, the majority of kpop '00 liners are in this, other nct members make appearances, crack humour throughout, a lot of sex innuendos, college!jaemin, black haired jaemin, jaemin is super mysterious and hot, this one is super ANGSTY, explicit content, swearing, BIG SMUT, unprotected sex, daddy kink, dom!jaemin, sub!reader, manhandling, spitting, hair pulling, praising, choking, creampie, reader FINALLY confronts jaemin, hard hitting emotions, reader meets eunbin, hint of... jealously?, definitely plays the heart strings ok, yangyang feels things, reader and jeno have bestie moments

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄 | 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎 | 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄

“Thank god, I’m starving!” Donghyuck cries out in delight once you return, flinging himself off of the sofa and stumbling over his own feet as he runs towards the three of you, grabbing the takeout bags out of each of your hands and rushing back to his seat, dumping its contents all over the coffee table which Haru scowls at him for making a mess.

A tight lipped smile is sent Jaemin’s way when he meets your eyes, unable to hold his gaze for too long as an uncomfortable feeling creeps up your chest and you turn on your heel to walk into the kitchen and grab a glass of water.

Jaemin and Eunbin never ended on bad terms. Jaemin will throw you away when Eunbin comes back. The plane ticket shows she’s coming back here.

The picture that Mia showed you pops back into your mind, how beautiful Eunbin looks with her big round eyes and pretty smile makes your throat tighten, fearing you’re going to throw up.

Jaemin and Eunbin never ended on bad terms. Jaemin will throw you away when Eunbin comes back. The plane ticket shows she’s coming back here.

The ring on Jaemin’s bedside table now appears in your head. It was small, so dainty and so pretty. It was definitely too small to fit his fingers… did it belong to her? Was the ring for Eunbin? Why was it left behind? Your grip around the glass tightens. It has to be hers.

Jaemin and Eunbin never ended on bad terms. Jaemin will throw you away when Eunbin comes back. The plane ticket shows she’s coming back here.

“Stop it” You mutter to yourself the second you feel your eyes start to sting, internally cursing at yourself for letting your emotions get to you and you try your hardest to fight back the tears as you tilt your head back, looking up at the ceiling as you grit your teeth together, the pain of trying to hold back your tears makes you feel sick.

“Are you okay?” You swing around once you hear a voice, clearing your throat and blinking back the emotions as you see Jaemin standing in the doorway, his arms loosely crossed over his chest as he stares at you in curiosity. You don’t speak, you just nod which Jaemin seems not to be happy with as he tuts and shakes his head. “I don’t believe you… I know when something is wrong”

“I’m tired” It was sort of the truth. You are tired. “I think I’m still tired from yesterday… sleeping on the sofa didn’t really help”

“Take a nap” He tells you as he steps forward, gently caressing your hair as he looks into your tired eyes. “I’ll make sure nobody eats your food. We can watch that movie some other time too”

“Ah, shit, I completely forgot about the movie” You groan as you palm your forehead frustratingly and guilt starts to overcome you but Jaemin shakes his head, tugging at your wrist and making you look at him as he reassures that everything is fine and the movie can be watched another day. The guilt doesn’t go away and you feel it even more when Jaemin presses a chaste kiss to your forehead before letting you slip past him to leave.

You don’t spare him a glance as you walk, heading straight to your bedroom with your head hung low. You couldn’t understand why you were reacting or feeling this way. You wanted answers, an explanation to why the things that Mia said had struck a nerve.

You can’t help but think how true it might be. Jaemin will probably kick you to the curb once Eunbin comes back here, memories will resurface and the fact that they didn’t end on bad terms makes you ten times more nervous than you already are. Why are you even nervous in the first place? What do you need to be nervous about?

You drop down on your bed with a huff, stuffing your face into the pillow as you fight the urge to yell out of frustration. You bury yourself under the covers, shutting your eyes and trying your hardest to get rid of the thoughts inside your head.

Jaemin and Eunbin never ended on bad terms. Jaemin will throw you away when Eunbin comes back. The plane ticket shows she’s coming back here.

Fuck. You mentally curse at yourself, curling your hand into a fist and digging your nails into the palm of your hands to try and slow down your erratic heartbeat. Your body becomes tense and your chest tightens, you’re afraid you’re going to struggle to breathe.

Jaemin and Eunbin never ended on bad terms. Jaemin will throw you away when—

The voice in your head stops once you hear your bedroom door open and someone walk inside. You fake being asleep, keeping your eyes closed and you try to keep your breathing as steady as possible as you hear them walk closer and your bed dips. You wonder if this could be any one of the boys (or even Miwoo) about to play a prank and scare you but the thought goes away once you feel that person slip under the covers behind you and wrap their arm around your waist.

Jaemin’s vanilla scent fills your nose and your body instantly relaxes under his touch, your heart beats normally and the thoughts that fill your mind slowly vanish into nothing. Your head is empty. There’s nothing.

His breath hits the back of your neck as he spoons you, his hand creeping under your shirt and resting on your stomach, pulling you back closer to his chest as he rests his chin on your shoulder.

“Go to sleep, Y/N” Jaemin whispers in your ear. He knows you’re awake. “I got you”

You nod your head slowly, allowing yourself to fully relax in his embrace, every single worry that fills your body has disappeared. How was that even possible?

You mutter to yourself quietly. “You got me”

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

It’s been a few days since you last spoke to Jaemin. The both of you being too busy to see each other due to your piling assessments and his photography classes getting longer as his final project is supposed to be due near the end of the month. You would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t miss him but you figured that it was the sex you missed the most, it had to be the sex. Nothing else.

The late night phone calls helped, but it didn’t exactly give you the release you desperately needed. Still, it was nice to hear his voice… even if he was trying to help get you both off.

Haru has started to notice your sudden change in emotions since the interaction you had with Mia. You didn’t tell anyone, you wouldn’t dare to tell any of your friends, especially Miwoo and Yangyang who would definitely react with violence. Haru’s different and a part of you wanted to tell her, you wanted to hear what she had to say and give you some sort of advice but you felt… embarrassed? Scared? You weren’t too sure.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket, bringing you out of your thoughts and you grab it without thinking, brows rising in surprise as you read the contact name. Jaemin. Your eyes flicker to the time. He should be in class right now. You immediately unlock your phone under the desk and open up his message, the corner of your lips twitching upwards at his text.

jaemin: can u come over after classes today jaemin: i want to see u jaemin: i need to see u

you: what about ur photography projects you: i thought u will be busy all week

jaemin: fuck that. jaemin: i just want to be busy with u

you: idk jae…

jaemin: come jaemin: now

“Phones off” Professor Moon warns from upfront, sending you a look as you meet his eyes when you rip your attention away from the screen. You give him a sheepish smile, mouthing an apology as you shove your phone into your bag, ignoring the way Miwoo and Haru shake their heads with a tut.

As Professor Moon continues discussing the upcoming assignments, you relax back into your seat, doodling in the corner of your notes, holding back a smile as Miwoo leans over to join you, making small little additions to your doodles with her bright red pen.

“What’s up with you?” Miwoo asks you during a small game of tic-tac-toe, her being in the lead with five wins while you fall behind with a shocking two points. You aren’t entirely sure how her pea sized brain is coming up with all these new techniques, but yet again Miwoo has always been the competitive one. “You’ve been weird for, like, three days”

You frown. “Weird?”

“You’re not yourself” She corrects. “I know that Haru has noticed it too but I’m the only one that has the balls to say anything about it… so what’s going on?”

“Nothing” You shake your head, feigning a smile. Were you that obvious? “Nothing’s going on…I’ve been stressed about the assignments if you really want an answer, but that’s about it”

“You’re a terrible liar” Miwoo smiles softly, her hand coming up to affectionately pat your cheek. “I’ll get the truth out of you one way or another”

“That is the truth” You push her hand away with a chuckle. It’s partially the truth. Miwoo raises her brow, clearly not believing your words. “You know that I stress every time we’re given an assignment… you stress too!!”

“Not as bad as you” Miwoo snaps back, completely believing your little lie. She crosses her arms over her chest. “I study!”

“Liar"

Miwoo gasps and aggressively points to herself. “I take notes!”

“No, you steal her notes” You point at Haru who comically raises her head from her notebook, staring at you both for a brief second before dropping her head back down, the pen that she holds in her hand gracefully writes across the paper.

“And she lets me” Miwoo grins, swivelling in her chair to face Haru and affectionately caressing her hair as she coos. “My smart baby”

Haru rolls her eyes, trying to swat Miwoo’s hands away who’s adamant on being affectionate towards her, puckering her lips as she tries to lean in to kiss Haru’s cheeks. You cover your mouth as you laugh, watching as Haru slaps her hand on Miwoo’s forehead to push her backwards.

Professor Moon captures the act when he dismisses the class for the day, shaking his head in disappointment and taking his glasses off of his face to rub his eyes, letting out a sigh at their behaviour.

“I wish to have one class where you girls sit quietly and listen” Professor Moon says as the three of you pack up your belongings, shoving them into your bags. “Just one, that’s all I ask”

“Your class would be boring without our humour, Professor Moon” Miwoo smiles cheekily and he rolls his eyes, grabbing the papers from his desk and playfully tapping the side of her head. She gasps and places her hand where he had hit. “Professor! If you want to punish me, please hit my—”

“And we’ll be leaving now” Haru interrupts, gripping Miwoo’s upper arm and hauling her out of the classroom but they both pause by the door as Professor Moon calls out your name. You turn your head to look at him as you lift your bag and pull the strap over your shoulder, raising a brow in curiosity as he takes a long time to respond, his fingers tapping against his thigh as he sits on the edge of his desk.

“Did you have any spare time to check that travelling website I told you about? Or did you give Yuta a call?” Oh shit. Your eyes dart over to Haru and Miwoo who stare between the two of you in confusion, clearly not understanding what Professor Moon is talking about as you failed to let them know. “There’s no rush. I just wanted to know if you considered it”

You gulp. “I… I haven’t had the time” Haru and Miwoo look straight at you. “I’ve been busy with a lot of things… I’ll definitely get around to it when I can”

“Like I said, there’s no rush” Professor Moon sends you a gentle smile. “But I think it would be a great opportunity”

“Yeah” You nervously breathe out before you quickly excuse yourself, pushing through Miwoo and Haru’s bodies who seem glued to the floor, their faces filled with confusion. The second you hear them calling out your name, you break out into a quick walk, manoeuvring past students who crowd the hallways.

“Get back here, you little fuck!” You hear Miwoo’s voice screech and you duck your head down in embarrassment as people look your way, covering your face with your hand as you push through a group of girls who send evil looks your way.

You see the exit doors up ahead, knowing as soon as you reach those two wooden double doors you’re able to run and hide in the comfort of your room in the apartment. You’re faster than Miwoo for sure, you can easily outrun her without a doubt… are you faster than Haru? Didn’t she used to run track? Fuck, there’s no way you can beat her. She’s too fast. You know she’s too fast. Maybe you’ll have to try and trip her up before making a run for it? Just stick your leg out and—

“Where do you think you’re running off to?” A familiar voice questions you the second you reach the exit doors, Yangyang’s smug looking down at you as his arms slither around your waist, holding you close to your chest. “Why are you trying to run off? We can hear Miwoo calling your name from our class”

“None of your business” You huff, trying your best to escape from his hold but as soon as Donghyuck’s chest presses against your back and cages you between their arms, you know you’re fucked.

You see Haru and Miwoo approach nearer in the corner of your eyes and you turn to Shotaro, pouting out your bottom lip and giving him your best innocent face in hopes he would save you but Renjun smirks, slinging his arm over his shoulder and keeping him from helping you. Shotaro gives you an apologetic and hopeful smile but you already feel defeated.

“What the hell was that?!” Miwoo exclaims, throwing her hands up in the air. “Why did you run?!”

“I panicked”

“What was Professor Moon talking about back there?” Haru asks, as calm as ever, which makes you feel guilty.

“It was just some stupid thing that—”

“It clearly wasn’t stupid if you reacted like that” Miwoo argues, her tone sharp but the look on her face shows she’s just as confused as the rest of them are. She crosses her arms over her chest. “He said ‘travelling website’… are you going somewhere?”

“No, it’s nothing like that, it’s just—” You pause to sigh. Donghyuck’s arms drop from your body and he takes a step back but Yangyang remains close, looking down at you with an unfamiliar glint in his eye but you ignore it as you open your bag, digging down to the bottom to pull out the paper slip Professor Moon had given you. “Professor Moon gave me the details of this guy who basically organises these big trips for aspiring travel writers… it happens every few months and the trip is paid for… all I have to do is sign up”

Miwoo takes the slip out of your hands, her eyes scanning over the number and website written down. The others crowd around her to take a look while Yangyang stays at your side. You look up at him, confused on why he’s acting so weird and you want to question it until Miwoo hands the slip back to you.

“Are you going to sign up?” Shotaro asks you and you struggle to form an answer, opting for a shrug instead.

“I think it would be pretty cool” Haru smiles. “You like writing and you like travelling. You should definitely go for it, if you want”

The corner of your lips twitch upwards. “Really?”

“Yeah, duh, this is a cool opportunity!! Imagine all the cute people you’re gonna meet in every place you visit” Miwoo grins, ignoring the way you all roll your eyes at her flirtatious comment. Miwoo glances around the group, pursing her lips. “Speaking of cute people, where is my boyfriend?”

“He went home early, something about his muscles hurting from his workout this morning” Donghyuck explains as he adjusts his bag on his shoulder, his eyes darting to you. “And your little boy toy is stuck in his class, he should probably be out soon though”

You snort at the ‘boy toy’ comment, hitting Donghyuck across the shoulder who is quick to whack you back, making you hiss at the stinging sensation that tingles across your arm. Yangyang jumps a bit late to your defence, raising his hand to hit Donghyuck across the head but the latter is too quick, dodging the former’s attacks.

Miwoo tuts at their behaviour before she loops her arm, shaking her head as she watches them fight. “Boys”

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

You make your way over to the boy’s house shortly after the mini squabble, bidding goodbye to your friends who spend at least five minutes begging you to stay with them and to get some food but you pass, explaining to them that you had promised Jaemin to meet him. Well… you didn’t exactly promise, but you have been avoiding him these past few days, using your assignments as an excuse to say you are busy (even though it wasn’t an excuse, you were busy… just not as busy as you made yourself out to be).

The stuff with Eunbin is definitely a mind fuck. You’re curious. You want to know what happened. Why did they break up? Where did she go? Why doesn’t Jaemin talk about her? Is the ring on his bedside table hers? There are so many questions that need answering… but how the fuck are you going to get those answers when he won’t open up to you about them?

You walk through the front door silently, kicking off your shoes and hanging your coat on the rack as you step further into the house. It’s quiet, too quiet, which is unusual as it’s always been so loud and boisterous. You drop your bag down on the floor, gently pushing it to the side where you see another bag lay. It’s Jeno’s.

Heading towards the staircase, you pause as you reach the bottom step, something in your mind forbidding you from going up to Jaemin’s room. Confusion hit you and your brows furrowed. Why couldn’t you move? You glance down at your feet. There’s nothing physically stopping you… so what’s wrong?

You need answers, that annoying little voice in your head tells you. The answers are right around the corner. You take a step back, finally turning on your heel as you move in the direction of the kitchen, peeking your head around the doorframe as you hear a faint noise.

Your eyes dance across the kitchen until they land on Jeno who’s too engrossed in the show playing on his phone to even notice your arrival, earphones plugged tightly in his eyes and chopsticks in hand which he uses to eat his steaming hot ramen, slurping up the noodles hastily as if he’s afraid he would miss something from the show.

You’re fast on your feet as you hurry to take a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, unscrewing the cap and holding it out to Jeno for him to take the second he starts to choke from eating too fast. He grabs the water out of your hands without looking but once he meets your eyes, a look of surprise shows on his features as he sees you.

Jeno gulps the water first, pausing his show and tugging the earphone out of his ear. You take this opportunity to settle yourself down opposite him on the island, seeming as you caught his attention, giving him a half smile and shaking your head as he offers you a bite of his ramen.

He shrugs his shoulders, taking the bite for himself. Ask him. The voice goes again. The answers you want are right here.

“Hey, Jeno?” You call his name, immediately avoiding his eyes and finding interest in the marble. Jeno hums to let you know that he’s waiting for you to say whatever you are going to say to him. “You… you’re, like, popular with a lot of people, right? You know everything about everyone… yeah?”

Jeno quirks a brow. “Where is this conversation heading?”

“Will you do me, like, this huge favour?” You ask him, completely ignoring his own question and Jeno stares at you with slight suspicion before nodding his head slowly. You gnaw on your bottom lip, raising your head to meet his gaze. “I need you to tell me who Eunbin is…”

Jeno blinks. He doesn’t speak. He stares straight at you.

Out of all the favours you could’ve asked, he didn’t expect it to be that. Why did it have to be that? Jeno struggles to eat his ramen, swallowing harshly and grabbing his water to clear his throat. The way you’re looking at him makes him feel nervous, and he hates it.

“How do you know about Eunbin?” Well, that wasn’t what you expected.

It’s you who blinks in surprise this time and you awkwardly fiddle with your fingers. “Just some girl told me about her…”

“Some girl?” Jeno presses.

“Yeah, her name is Mia”

“Mia” Jeno repeats with an empty laugh, shaking his head as he looks down at his ramen, picking up a mouthful and biting into it. You can’t help but frown, immediately noticing how Jeno seems to be avoiding the question, until, “Mia is Eunbin’s best friend, well, one of them… It doesn’t surprise me that she told you about her”

“You don’t seem too happy about that” You point out, leaning back in your chair with a sigh, biting your inner cheek. “What is it about Eunbin that makes everyone not want to talk about her? What did she do to make everything so…” You sigh. “I don’t know. It’s just a complete head fuck these past few days”

“Look” Jeno begins, shuffling in his seat to get comfy, leaning his arms on the island as he looks straight at you. “The shit that happened between him and Eunbin isn’t my story to tell… as much as I would love to tell you everything there is to know about Eunbin, I can’t. It’s better to hear everything from Jaemin. Also, you can’t be mad at him if he doesn’t want to open up about her yet—”

“I’m not mad” You quickly say, shaking your head. “I’m just curious”

“Wait for him” Jeno tells you and you sigh in defeat but you nod anyway. Jeno instantly sees how troubled you feel and he reaches over the island to take your hand in his, giving you a reassuring smile with a squeeze of your fingers. You roll your eyes playfully at the face he gives you, ripping your hand away from his and he laughs loudly, trying to reach for it again until a cough comes from your right.

Jaemin stands in the kitchen doorway, two drinks resting on a try in one hand and his camera in the other, his eyes solely trained on you. His bangs messily lay across his forehead, hair tousled into small curls from the wind that blows heavily outside. He wore a big oversized sweater on his body and some shorts that you have never seen before, showing off his toned legs and a bruise across his knee that he told you he had previously got.

Jeno blows air past his lips as he stands up from his chair, grabbing his phone and shoving the device into the pockets of his sweatpants. He excuses himself, letting you both know that he is going to see Miwoo before he dips out of the house, not without giving you one last look which you want to roll your eyes at.

Your attention is back on Jaemin who nods his head for you to follow him which you do, walking behind him as he leads you up to his bedroom. He enters first and you follow behind, closing the door behind yourself and watching as he places his camera down on his desk along with the coffee tray, handing one over to you.

“Thank you”

“You’re welcome” He mutters, taking a sip of his own. You hesitantly take a drink from yours, eyeing him warily. Did he overhear your conversation? Fuck, is that why he’s acting so odd? You feel yourself start to panic, hands nervously gripping your plastic cup. “What were you and Jeno talking about before I came in?”

Oh. “Nothing important.. He was just cheering me up” You lie easily through your teeth. Why did you lie? Tell him the truth. “Assignments just getting to my head, it was making me stressed” Stop it.

Jaemin frowns and affectionately pats your head, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. You fight the urge to melt into his touch but you can’t help the smile that slowly forms on your lips. It’s crazy how easy he can make you soft, to make you want to relax into his arms and forget all of your troubles.

The smile instantly wipes off of your face as you realise what troubles you have. Eunbin. Your eyes flicker over to the ring that’s still sitting at the bedside table, remaining untouched. It feels like it’s teasing you, teasing you about a secret that you’re unaware of. The bitch inside you wants to throw it away or to even flick it off the bedside table so it’s out of your eyesight but you’re not that person… you’re not a bitch, you won’t stoop that low.

But could you?

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

“Okay, what’s going on?” Jaemin breaks the silence between you both. You’ve both been doing your own little thing, despite telling each other that you would spend the day together doing aimless stuff. Jaemin stands up from his desk chair, abandoning the photography project he was working on for the time being to stand between your legs that hang off the edge of his bed, his hands groping your thighs and kneading into the skin. His gaze is hard. “You’ve been weird these past few days and there’s no point denying it either, I know you… What’s going on?”

“Nothing” You mumble distractingly, eyes dazed and staring at nothing in particular, but your mind is overcrowded with multiple thoughts and unwanted feelings. It almost makes you want to throw up. Almost. “I’m just tired”

“Do you expect me to really believe that?” Jaemin quirks a brow. He tuts as he gropes your thighs harder. “You think I haven’t noticed you actively avoiding me in person?”

“W-what?” You stutter, face suddenly hot with embarrassment. “Jae, I—”

“I just want to play with you” The whine in his voice makes your stomach swirl and a tingle runs down your body. You open your mouth, close it, open it and close it again. You’re speechless with the way he’s looking at you: eyes dark yet his bottom lip juts out in a plea.

“J-Jaemin…”

“How am I supposed to play with you if you keep avoiding me and hiding from me, hm?” Jaemin hums, running his hands down your legs, pinching at your skin. “Open your legs for me. Now”

Your eyes widen at his sudden demanding tone, your legs involuntarily spreading wide apart and he grins wickedly, harshly pulling your body forwards by your legs and you gasp as your core is flush against the bulge in his shorts. You lift your hips instinctively and rub yourself over his confined cock, the grin on his face widening.

You go to lean up on your elbows but he forcefully pushes you back down, causing the air to knock out of your lungs and you gasp, not noticing the way he crawls up your body until he’s holding himself above you.

You reach up to touch his face but Jaemin shakes his head, a silent order for you to not do so and you huff, dropping your hands to your side, but that doesn’t stop your hips from moving against his and he sighs, tutting softly.

“Look at you, baby… so desperate” Jaemin’s raspy tone whispers as he stares down at you, tracing your throat with his index finger slowly, creating goosebumps in his path. The corner of his lips twitch as he feels you gulp before he wraps his hand around your neck.

You struggle to gasp as he gently applies pressure, your eyes bulging out in surprise and a little bit of fear but, fuck, you are so horny. This new side of Jaemin is something else… It excites you.

The cold metal rings on his fingers dig into the skin of your neck when he squeezes tighter and the moan you let out is utterly pathetic, but it makes Jaemin’s mind go into a frenzy, wanting nothing more than to hear you make that noise again.

“Baby, I’ll give you everything you want…” He whispers as his thumb presses down at the side of your neck, his hips rutting against yours. “There’s no need to be a bratty little bitch”

“Fuck” You choke out at his choice of words, your hands reaching up to grasp his necklace that dangles in front of your face tauntingly, pulling him down to mush your lips with his but he pulls away too quickly for your liking, causing you to pout.

Jaemin smirks, shaking his head. “Apologise first” You keep your mouth shut. “Apologise and I’ll give it to you”

“I’m sorry”

“Sorry, what?”

Your heart thumps wildly against your chest, mouth agape and eyes wide as you realise what words he wants to hear from you. Your pussy throbs at the thought, but your conversation with Yangyang from before slips into your mind and you want to punch his face. How dare he put that in your head.

“Baby…” Jaemin taunts with a warning tone, giving your neck another squeeze and your attention instantly snaps back to him, watching as he looks down at you with an expression you can’t explain, but it makes your body buzz. “Are you going to say it?”

“I’m sorry…” You whimper, fingers tugging at the necklace once again and Jaemin nods his head, eager for you to say it. “Daddy”

“That’s my good girl”

His hands are quick to get rid of your shirt, fisting the material in his grasp and yanking it over your head without warning, not even caring if he startles you or hurts you in the process which you find quite arousing. He strips you out of your bra next, his hands cupping your bare tits as his lips faintly dance over your chest, rolling your nipples between his fingers as he continues kissing down your body.

He reaches your jeans, popping the buttons and pulling them down your legs. Jaemin’s breath blows cold air on the damp patch of your underwear and you shiver, closing your thighs around his head but you jump in surprise as he snaps them open with force, whining at the ache that spreads from the sudden movement.

“You think you can get whatever you want after ignoring me?” Jaemin questions you as he laughs in disbelief. “You really think it’s that easy?”

“Please touch me” You beg pathetically. “Please touch me, daddy, please”

Jaemin hums. He loves hearing you beg, a satisfied smile spreading across his lips as your hands reach out to grab him but he moves out of your way, making your arms fall to your side in defeat.

Crawling back up your body, Jaemin pins your wrists down to the bed, cocking his head to the side as he stares down at you with dark eyes. You feel yourself struggling to breathe under his gaze, the grip he has on your wrists make you feel scared but excited.

You never expected Jaemin to be into this sort of thing, he didn’t exactly seem like the type but he continues to surprise you. It’s hot, it’s sexy… and you really want more.

It’s like he hears your thoughts with the way he slowly starts to take off his shorts, kicking them to the side while climbing higher up your body, his hands loosening their grip on your wrist to slide in between your head and the pillow, a dark smile spreading across his lips as he notices the confused expression on your face.

Jaemin carefully sits at your chest and your eyes widen slightly at the weight that’s put on you, afraid that you would really struggle to breathe and start to panic but the worry soon starts to slip away the second he speaks.

“I want you to suck my cock” Jaemin orders, the hand at the back of your neck pushes you towards the bulge in his boxers. “I want you to make it up to me for ignoring me—“

“I—"

“Ah, ah, ah” Jaemin shakes his head. “No excuses, baby…” You involuntarily lick your lips when he pushes you close again, nose brushing against his underwear and you look up at him, eyes so innocent and wide. Jaemin deeply exhales. “Put me in your mouth”

You oblige without question, despite the awkward struggle you have to pull down his boxers in this position but your lips immediately wrap around him. A grunt leaves Jaemin, tongue poking out between his lips as he looks down at you, a hand remaining on the back of your neck as moan against his cock.

You try to steadily breathe through your nose as you are forced to take him all the way to the back of your throat, the sounds of his grunting and groaning makes you beam with pride, continuing to suck and bob your head in hopes to get him to release his load down your throat. A treat just for you.

But, you didn’t deserve it.

Jaemin rips your mouth off of him by fisting your hair and yanking you backwards, hissing at the pain that spreads all over your scalp. Your panties are wet and uncomfortably clinging to your folds… you couldn’t believe how turned on you are over this.

With a free hand, Jaemin taps the head of his cock against your lips and you take it as an order to open up again, waiting for him to slide his length into your mouth but he doesn’t, he just stares down at you with the most feral look in his eyes.

“I want to fuck your throat so bad” He mutters, slapping his cock against your cheek. “But you would enjoy that a little too much, wouldn’t you slut?”

“Daddy” You mewl, the name rolling off your tongue too easily now and Jaemin fights the urge to genuinely smile. Despite this new, and frankly hot persona, he’s not actually mad at you ignoring him. He was a little bit upset during the first three days of not being able to see you in person, but he figured that you had a reason why. Jaemin believed that you were busy with all your assignments, however he knew there was something else involved.

He secretly hopes you will tell him.

Jaemin immediately pulls himself out of the thoughts inside his head as he feels you softly kitten lick the tip of his cock, wanting his attention back on you which he happily gives, running his fingers through your hair affectionately before he pushes your head back down on him again.

You gag the second you feel him hit the back of your throat, your hands pressing against his hips to keep him still but he continues to thrust, looking down at you while you choke. The tears that prickle in your eyes doesn’t stop him, neither does the gagging noises you make or how your nails dig into his skin. He hisses at the pain but does nothing to push you away, biting down on his bottom lip as he slides down your throat again, your nose digging into his pelvis.

“Good girl” He coos as he finally lets you go, your head slamming back against the pillows as you suck in deep breaths, your sight a little hazy but you’re still able to see Jaemin shuffle down your body, peeling your wet underwear down your legs in one swift motion before he settles between them.

His hand comes up to cup your jaw, eyes staring straight into yours as he pokes out his tongue and licks your lips. You open your mouth to take his tongue between your teeth but your teeth barely graze him, his hand sliding down from your jaw to wrap around your neck.

“Don’t” He warns with a squeeze and you nod quickly, trying to steadily breathe through your nose. Jaemin shifts between your legs, using his free hand to guide himself to your entrance, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as he bottoms out inside you, not even giving you a chance to get comfortable as he moves his hips at abnormal speeds.

You squeal, your pussy convulsing around his cock with every rapid thrust and you grip his wrist of the hand that chokes you, his rings digging into your skin but it only adds pain to the pleasure.

“Fuck. You look so fucking perfect with my hand wrapped around your neck” Jaemin grunts and the broken moans you let out only fuel him, using his free hand to grip your leg and throw it over his shoulder, reaching a place inside you that makes your back arch, your whole body trembling at the sensation.

“Daddy!!!” God, you feel like you could cry. Not because it hurts or because he’s making you uncomfortable. It’s from the pleasure, it’s from the enjoyment. This attitude he has makes your pussy throb and you feel oh so grateful to experience this side of him, a side that you would’ve never guessed he had.

You wonder what other surprises he has up his sleeve.

“Can I try something?” Jaemin asks you, slowly down his movements and breaking out of character as looks at you and you nod your head, immediately taking notice of the smirk that spreads across his face.

His grip loosens on your neck, fingers deciding to trail upwards and dig in the hollows of your cheeks, causing your mouth to open wide. Your eyes almost bulge out of your head as you realise his motives but still, you allow him to do it. He leans forward, pursing his lips together and spitting into your mouth all while keeping eye contact with you.

You feel disgusting. You feel dirty… but you love it. You swallow and the grin that lights up on his face makes your heart warm, his lips eagerly kissing yours as he resumes in his thrusts, his hand reaching behind you to grip the headboard to stabilise himself, his biceps tensing as he pounds into you at a relentless pace.

The lower half of your body burns and your leg that’s on his shoulder shakes. The tears are freely streaming down your cheeks, high pitch moans and low grunts filling the room along with skin slapping against skin. It sounds pornographic and you feel so thankful knowing that you both have the house to yourselves.

The bed creaks with every move and you wail when he thrusts deep, the way his cock rubs against your walls make him release a sound that you’ve never heard before and you moan back, so turned on and so fucking horny for him. He places his hand on your stomach and lets out a breathy laugh once he feels himself whenever he’s bottoming out inside you.

“Can you feel my inside your belly?” Jaemin questions, eyes flickering to meet yours before looking back down at your stomach. “You’re such a slut for taking my big dick, aren’t you?”

“Yes daddy” You babble, even reaching down yourself to feel the bulge in your tummy. Fuck. “D-deeper… please”

“Deeper?” He repeats, raising a brow as he smirks down at you. “You want me to go deeper?” He tuts. “You’re so greedy”

You start to protest as you feel him slip out of you, reaching out to touch him, desperate to have his cock and he grabs your hips tightly to flip you around, huffing as you land on your stomach. Without warning, he rams his cock back inside your dripping pussy, hips slapping against your ass. His pace is feral and it leaves you speechless. Your mouth drops open but there’s no sound escaping, eyes rolling to the back of your head in complete pleasure.

“Good girl” He quietly praises you in your ear and you feel a sense of pride. “You’re taking me so fucking well” Jaemin looks down, his eyes fluttering in pleasure as he watches your hole greedily take him, almost drooling at the sight. He licks at his lips. “Fuck, Y/N”

You can’t even form a correct sentence to tell him how good he’s making you feel. God, he’s making you feel so fucking good. The way your fingers grip the bed sheets and how your toes curl every time he hits deep inside you.

You cum way before you even realise it, your legs trembling and pussy pulsating around his cock and you only notice it when Jaemin snickers and calls you out, calling you a stupid bitch which usually would probably make you cry but you could only let out an incoherent moan, too fucked to speak.

Your body jolts as Jaemin uses you to get himself off, panting loudly in your ear and whispering dirty little things that makes your pussy flutter. With one last powerful thrust, he stills, cum filling your walls and you gasp at the feeling, weakly reaching around your body to grab at him and he takes your hand, intertwining your fingers together as he empties himself inside of you with heavy breathing.

He squeezes your hand as he pulls out his cock, watching as the mixture of both of your cum falls to the sheets and he falls back on his feet with a huff, letting go of your hand to run his fingers through his sweaty hair.

You struggle to move yourself onto your back, opting to stay on your front instead as you try to control your breathing. You crane your neck to look at Jaemin who wears an expression you struggle to recognise, your stomach dropping when he doesn’t even look you in the eyes. Did you do something? Is something wrong? You feel yourself start to panic but you try to maintain a normal face. Fuck, what’s going on? Why is the silence so deafening?

Jaemin raises his head to finally meet your eyes, the pair of you staring at each other in silence before he gives you a tight lipped smile, reaching down to rub your lower back comfortingly.

“Let’s get you cleaned up”

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

Jaemin sits on the edge of his bed alone while you sleep behind him, listening to the rain that pelts heavily against his window along with the steady sound of your breathing. He mindlessly fiddles with the rings on his fingers, staring at his drawn blackout curtains with no emotion in his face.

Something pulls at his chest and drops in his stomach, but he feels nothing? His body feels foreign and he even glances down at his hands, flexing his fingers to make sure that he’s still conscious and he places his hand above his heart. Still beating.

If everything’s okay, why does he feel like shit? The sex wasn’t bad, that was the best sex he’s had in awhile. He enjoyed it and most importantly you enjoyed it… so what was wrong? Jaemin sighs softly, rubbing his face tiredly as he stands up from the bed and makes his way over to his mini fridge, opening it up and grabbing a bottle of water. He unscrews the cap and takes a few gulps, eyes darting around the room before landing on that. The ring.

His eyes remain on the dainty jewellery as he takes a few more gulps before putting the bottle down, making his way over to his bedside table and carefully picking it up, examining it between his two fingers with a deadpan expression, lips in a straight line.

“Jaemin?” Your groggy voice calls out his name, eyes barely open as you shuffle around beneath the sheets. Your voice stops him from thinking about the shit that was on the verge of overcrowding his mind, bringing him back to reality.

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing?” You question, yawning and rubbing at your eyes as you try to adjust to the darkness of his room. Jaemin doesn’t answer at first, swallowing thickly and taking in a breath as he closes his fist around the ring and opens his bedside drawer, throwing the jewellery inside and forcing it shut.

He’s silent as he climbs underneath the covers next to you, resting his head on the pillow and staring straight at you. Neither of you say anything for a while, despite you feeling curious and wanting to repeat the previous question but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it, not with the way he’s looking at you right now.

His hand reaches out to caress your cheek and the skin warms at the touch. He doesn’t tear his eyes from yours as his hand moves to push back the hair that falls in front of your face, tucking it missily behind your ear and his fingers trail down to play with the dangly jewellery in your ear.

You can’t look away from him, you physically can’t break away. You feel captured by him—by his actions, by his eyes, by his face… What is this feeling? Jaemin leans forward to meet your lips in a gentle kiss and you cup his face, forgetting the lingering question in your mind as you melt into the kiss, your lips moving softly against his.

This was different from the others that you have shared…and you kinda liked it.

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

[groupchat — hyuck and his hoes]

jeno: someone tell miwoo to shut the fck up n let me dye my hair blue

miwoo: u are not dyeing ur hair fucking blue lee jeno miwoo: the last time u dyed ur hair it was snapping off

jeno: what???? u wont like me bald???? would u still love me if i was bald miwoo???

miwoo: no [jeno disliked this message]

jeno: slut [miwoo disliked this message]

miwoo: fuck off big nose bitch [jeno disliked this message]

jeno: lol says you

renjun: can u not fucking argue in the gc

shotaro: don't fight

yangyang: lololol arguing again? lololol [miwoo and jeno disliked this message]

haru: ????

miwoo: no u asshole we're not arguing miwoo: we are actually on a VERY lovin shopping date rn <3 [miwoo sent a photo to the groupchat] miwoo: see <3333

renjun: wow renjun: unbelievably loving

miwoo: fuck off

yangyang: hyuck and i are on our own shopping date too <3 [yangyang sent a photo to the groupchat]

you: why he look like that [renjun liked this message]

donghyuck: what the fuck is that supposed to mean [you laughed at this message]

you: :)

donghyuck: >:(

miwoo: OH WAIT miwoo: CAN YOU PLZ GET ME THOSE SWEET POTATO CHIPS I FORGOT TO GET THEM

donghyuck: why would i do that

miwoo: to? be? fucking? nice?

donghyuck: ok donghyuck: and why would i do that lol

miwoo: go fuck urself hyuck

yangyang: i'll get u them yangyang: i gotta get yn those honey butter chips anyway

you: ????? you: but i didn't ask for anything

yangyang: i know yangyang: but u like them so i thought id get them

you: oh you: thank u :)

yangyang: :)

donghyuck: lol simp

miwoo: wheres haru and renjun btw miwoo: answer ur phones u fuckers im calling u

renjun: i blocked ur number

haru: we're with shotaro hanging out

jeno: where tf was our invite

renjun: we didn't want to hang out with u

haru: you guys were already on your date haru: we met up with shotaro after his dance class ended

shotaro: we went to misfits and johnny gave me a walkman and some tapes for free :D

miwoo: FOR FREE?!!?! miwoo: JOHNY NEVER GIVES ME ANYTHIN FOR FREe

renjun: johnny doesn't like u

miwoo: johnny literally likes everyone shu the fuck up

yangyang: hes like the most sweetest guy ever lol yangyang: but i think he wants to kill u like 99% of the time

miwoo: wdym im his favourite

donghyuck: no, thats haru

haru: :)

miwoo: ok fine whatever im at least second

renjun: no thats shotaro

yangyang: shotaro is everyones favourite <3

shotaro: <3 [yangyang hearted this message]

you: its true

jeno: yn where are u btw jeno: me & miwoo just got at the apt and ur not here jeno: ur room is dirty it needs to be cleaned

you: jeno????? get the fuck out of my room????

jeno: whats in the box under the bed ;)

you: JENO

miwoo: hes not in ur room now lol miwoo: .... miwoo: but seriously wahts in the box under the bed

you: none of ur business bitch

miwoo: i love it when u talk to me like that <3333

jaemin: shes with me at home jaemin: we'll be at the apt in 10

donghyuck: yn do u ever like our house

you: donghyuck do u ever like shut the fuck up

donghyuck: hm donghyuck: touche

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

“Jeno’s not talking to me” Miwoo admits over breakfast one morning, jabbing her fork frustratingly into her eggs. You and Haru both look up from your plates in surprise, sharing a wary glance before looking back at Miwoo who’s lip juts out in a pout. “We argued about him dyeing his hair which was dumb but then it escalated into something bigger and now… he’s not talking to me”

“You guys were fine on Tuesday?” Haru furrows her brows. “You went on a date”

“I know!” Miwoo exlcaims, throwing down her fork with a loud sigh. She leans back against her seat. “He’s been, like, so sensitive recently. Everything seems to piss him off or make him upset… it’s annoying!!”

“Is it actually because of the hair dyeing situation?” You question, biting into a piece of toast and quickly sipping your coffee. You swallow thickly. “Did that start off the argument?”

“I mean, I guess? I don’t know” Miwoo shrugs her shoulders. “We bickered about it for, like, five minutes before he made this big ass speech about how I don’t listen and that I’m selfish and only think about myself? What the fuck? I literally had his dick shoved down my throat for hours on my knees!! How am I selfish?!?!”

“He said that?”

“Yeah! I know that I don’t listen sometimes, I admit that!! But I’m not fucking selfish” Miwoo seethes, picking up her coffee and taking three big gulps before slamming the empty cup back on the table. She huffs, tapping her nails against the glass before her eyes flick up to look between you and Haru. “Am I selfish?”

“I don’t think you’re selfish” You shake your head and Haru agrees with a hum beside you. “It sounds like Jeno was stressed and decided to be an asshole and take it out on you”

Miwoo is silent for a moment, pursing her lips deep in thought. She then smiles widely. “Should I get back at him?”

“No” Haru sternly says as she pokes her fork in Miwoo’s direction. “Just try and talk to him, like a normal person would. Getting back at him will only make it worse”

“Okay, fine” Miwoo grumbles, picking up a slice of toast and shoving it into her mouth, chewing angrily. You frown as you notice how differently Miwoo’s acting about this argument despite it being so small and petty. They’ve had bigger arguments and even then Miwoo wasn’t as bothered as she was now. Was it actually the fact that Jeno called her selfish or was it something else that was bothering her?

Miwoo senses you’re looking at her and meets your eyes, sending you a tight lipped smile which you return instantly. She gets up from the table, putting her empty plate into the sink and filling her cup back up with coffee before settling back down in her seat at the table, bringing her knees comfortably to her chest.

She takes a drink, staring at Haru over the rim of the cup. “Do you have anything tragic about your lovelife to make me feel a little bit better?”

“Umm…” Haru pauses, pulling her brows together in deep thought while staring down at her plate, tapping her fork against it. She grins. “I had a pregnancy scare the other day”

Miwoo slams her hands on the table dramatically while you almost choke on your toast, covering your mouth and beating at your chest to try and clear your airway. Haru laughs at your reactions, shoving a forkful of eggs into her mouth as if what she said was completely normal. Miwoo’s facial expression would have definitely sent you into a laughing fit if you weren’t five seconds away from dying, her eyes almost bulging out of her skull and mouth open so wide you’re a hundred percent positive you can fit your whole fist inside.

You manage to catch your breath, coughing to clear your throat and taking a sip of your drink to try and soothe the pain in your chest. Haru remains neutral, scooping the last forkful of eggs into her mouth before standing to gather the rest of the empty plates off the table and taking them to the sink to wash.

“How the fuck did you have a pregnancy scare?” Miwoo asks her incredulously.

“Well, when you have unprotected sex—”

Miwoo raises her hand to silence her. “That’s not what I mean and you know it”

“We were dumb, that’s all” Haru shrugs her shoulders with a light laugh. “He didn’t wear a condom and I forgot to take the pill. My period was late and I was sick so Renjun went to the pharmacy while I was in work and got me a pregnancy test”

“And?”

Haru gives Miwoo a blank look. “It was negative, Miwoo”

“Aw, man” She pouts in disappointment. You snicker and hit her with your foot beneath the table the same time Haru pushes the back of her head. Miwoo looks up at Haru. “Would you be upset if you were pregnant? Would you keep the baby?”

“Probably not” Haru shakes her head while scrubbing the plates clean. “I’m not ready for a baby and to be honest, I don’t even know if I want one. They’re hard work and I’m not exactly ready to drop my life to take care of someone else's… no offence to any of the people we know that have kids”

“What’s that guy’s name that’s friends with Hyunjin?” Miwoo asks, looking at you for help and you shrug your shoulders. “You know, the one that’s a single dad!! He used to hang out with Eric and Sunwoo too until his ex-girlfriend got pregnant and dipped after she give birth”

“Oh, Soobin?”

“Soobin!” Miwoo repeats, grinning widely. “He’s cute. Poor guy though, he had to leave college and get a job to help raise his kid”

“Didn’t he used to live with Felix and Hyunjin?” Haru asks as she sits back down at the table, getting comfortable in her seat while taking her phone out of her pockets. “Pretty sure he lived with those boys for awhile”

“I think he’s living with his friend, Yeonjun, now” You say and Haru confirms that you’re right by shoving her phone screen in your face, showing Soobin’s recently instagram photo of him holding his baby with Yeonjun by his side at a park, both grinning at the camera.

You smile at the image, feeling somewhat proud of Soobin for being able to stay strong and take care of a baby alone. You briefly remember the interactions between him and the others when he first told them his ex-girlfriend got pregnant, the majority of the boys panicking for him while the others congratulated him, reassuring that he will be the best dad possible (which was true).

But the smile soon disappears from your face when you remember how Eric looked at you when Soobin first introduced the group to his baby, allowing his little bundle of joy to sleep peacefully in your arms. Admittingly, you don’t want a child nor are you ready to have your own, but during that moment with the way Eric was looking at you so lovingly, you would’ve definitely changed your mind. How disgusting.

“Knock, knock, are you still there?” Miwoo’s teasing voice brings you out of your thoughts, swatting her hand away as she knocks against your forehead. “You zoned out for a while… you okay?”

“No, yeah, I’m fine” You nod, giving her your best fake smile. “I was just thinking”

“About what?”

“Nothing important” You easily dismiss and both girls eye you suspiciously, suddenly feeling uncomfortable under their gaze. You take this opportunity to excuse yourself, standing from your chair at the table and heading straight to your room, quickly flipping them off behind your back as you hear them snicker.

You close the door behind yourself and instantly flop down on your bed with a sigh, staring up at your ceiling with a frown. You feel annoyed at allowing yourself to think about the past and bring down your mood. You feel annoyed at the constant mood swings you’re experiencing and why you’re letting things affect you.

Grabbing your phone from the bedside table where it lays to charge, you check the date. Your period is not due for another week. Great. What can you blame your feelings on now? You huff, throwing your phone to the side but you immediately pick it back up once you hear it vibrate. Jaemin’s name flashes across the screen and you slide your finger across to answer.

“Hello?”

“Get dressed. I’m coming to get you in five minutes”

“What?” You sit up, pulling your brows together in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I want to see you. I’m also thirsty so I’m taking us to get some coffees or something. My treat” He speaks so smoothly on the other side and you struggle to fight back a smile. “Just me and you, okay? Get dressed”

“Okay, okay” You laugh as you rise from your bed, making your way over to your closet. “I’m hanging up”

You can hear him grin. “See you soon, baby”

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

The bell rings above your head as you and Jaemin enter the café, the smell of coffee and pastries instantly filling your nostrils and your mouth waters for a taste. You practically float to the counter, your fingers grazing over the glass cabinet where the desserts are showcased, eyes staring holes into the fancy cakes.

Jaemin chuckles at your reaction, a hand affectionately stroking the back of your head and cooing at how cute you’re being which you simply ignore, too engrossed in trying to figure out which one you would happily shove down your throat.

“Welcome to 7 Dream Cafe” Jisung, a worker that you all have grown quite fond of over the multiple times coming to this cafe, greets you with a little to no enthusiasm, clearly tired from having to use the same greeting over and over again. “Can I take your order?”

“Do you have to say that everytime we come here?” Jaemin asks, eyebrow twitching in amusement.

“Sadly” He mutters, adjusting the blue pinny around his body. “Apparently it’s a good look for the company to greet customers with the cafe’s name, makes it look professional and all that”

“Did they say that or did Chenle?”

Jisung blinks. “Chenle”

“He’s probably fucking around with you” You tell him as you finally manage to tear your eyes away from the cakes, giving Jisung a grin which he happily reciprocates before turning expressionless again. “Where is that little gremlin anyways?”

“He’s out the back trying to teach this girl how to decorate the cakes. He nearly dumped a whole bowl of frosting over her head when she fucked up the flower design” Jisung explains to you both, not even trying to hide the enjoyment on his face.

“You seem way to happy about that”

“I’m just glad it’s not me” Jisung holds his hands up in defence before his fingers tap against the touchscreen of the cash register at the most expert pace. “You want your usual, yeah?”

Jaemin hums and nods his head, fishing his wallet out of his pocket. He points towards the glass cabinet. “And throw in two of those fancy little cakes, the ones that Y/N’s been staring at since we got here”

“Gotcha”

“Hey!”

Jaemin shushes you by pressing a finger against your lips, shaking his head. He orders you to go find a seat while he pays and you comply, heading towards your usual seat at the back near the windows. Jaemin follows shortly behind with the beverages in hand, handing over your iced coffee before he sits down opposite you, drinking his iced americano through his straw.

Jisung makes his way over soon after, placing the delicious looking cakes on the table before scurrying off to serve someone else and you grin as you watch him greet the customer, adding a fake smile at the end when Chenle comically peers his head around the corner to watch.

Jaemin picks up a fork from the place, cutting a corner of one of the cakes and holding the treat out towards you to take a bite which you happily do, leaning forward with the widest grin you could muster. Your lips wrap around the cake and you lean back, humming in delight at the taste that hits your tongue and Jaemin smiles, sucking the remaining cream off of the same fork as he waits for your approval.

“Holy shit” Was your confirmation on how good the cake was, staring at Jaemin with the blankest of expressions but the look in your eyes told him how you really felt. Jaemin bites down on his bottom lip to suppress a laugh, using the fork to cut off another piece of the cake to try for himself. He chews for a moment, eyebrows pulling together in concentration and then he stops, head snapping up to look at you.

“Oh my god”

“Exactly” You nod your head, completely understanding what he’s feeling right now. “I’ve never tasted anything so delicious in my life”

“Eh” Jaemin shrugs his shoulders, a dirty smirk spreading across his lips as you take a sip of your coffee. “I’ve tasted better”

You almost choke to death.

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

It’s been a little over two hours since you and Jaemin came to the cafe, ordering more drinks and delicious pastries until your stomachs could barely hold anything else. Neither of you wanted to leave, enjoying each other’s company.

It surprises you how you never feel bored or awkward with Jaemin. You talk for hours without running out of things to say and even when you do stop talking, the silence isn’t uncomfortable. It feels natural, too natural, and it kind of scares you a little bit. But that doesn’t stop you from wanting his attention, yearning for his presence.

The only problem you have is that he doesn’t really talk about himself. You only know the basic details like how his favourite colour is black because it’s a colour that matches with anything, how enjoys photography so much that he wants to take pictures of everything, he likes spending time indoors watching TV or doing something that’s close to nothing as he prefers to be lazy than productive. The only personal thing you know is that he’s an only child and he hardly gets to see his parents… you wanted to know more.

He makes you intrigued with how secretive he is, yet it also annoys you. You’re positive he knows almost everything there is to know about you… why hasn’t he said anything about him?

Wait for him. Jeno’s voice rings in your head and you bite down hard on your cheek. Wait for him. Wait for him. Wait for him. Wai—

“You know… you never told me about you” Fuck. Oh no.

“What do you mean?” Jaemin asks, looking up to briefly meet your eyes across the table in curiosity with a brow raised before he looks back down at his cup, sipping through the straw.

“About you… about Eunbin” You answer hesitantly, eyeing him warily as you were worrying that this wasn’t exactly the best way to bring up his past in a conversation like this and your body tenses as you notice the shift in Jaemin’s demeanour.

His jaw clenches at the mention of his ex’s name and his past relationship, tongue poking at his cheek in irritation and he places his cup down on the table, the regret immediately eating you up.

Your fingers nervously dance across your own cup. “I just… I’ve heard so much about her, you know, and the way people talk about her… she seems like she’s really, uh, sweet? I guess it just makes me wonder what the hell happened between you both”

His head snaps up to stare at you. “Y/N—”

“I’m sorry for bringing it up” You apologise quickly, avoiding his dark eyes. “Everyone knows her apart from me and it’s frustrating… plus, I told you everything about me and my past relationship, so I guess I kinda hoped you would open up and tell me about yours too… but you didn’t”

He’s silent as he stares at you, eyes roaming over your face, noticing how awkward yet desperate you look. You want an answer from him… but he feels like he can’t give it to you. It made his chest hurt, his heart felt like it was twisting and being punched repeatedly.

Teeth gnaw at his bottom lip, leg nervously bouncing up and down underneath the table. Fuck. Just do it. Rip the bandaid off. He lets out a deep sigh as he leans back in his chair, running his fingers through his hair before folding his hands in his lap.

“Okay, fine… I’ll tell you all about Eunbin”

You meet his eyes in shock. “You will?”

Jaemin takes a deep breath. “Eunbin and I were together for nearly two years. She worked in an art store downtown so we’d bump into each other whenever I needed to buy a new camera or a new scrapbook to put my photos in… I found her utterly breathtaking and captivating that I asked her if she could be my model for one of my photography projects, and she said that she would agree only if she could draw me for her art project… so we made a deal”

You smile at that.

“God, she was like a breath of fresh air, you know? She never cared about what other people thought of her too, she was just living her life to the fullest with no worries or regrets. She was constantly happy and I think that’s what made her so attractive and so perfect to me….”

Jaemin pauses for a moment, turning his head to the side to stare out of the window to the empty street. The smile slips from your face in concern as you see his hands shake and breathing tremble, wanting to reach out and grab him in comfort. You wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to continue talking about her anymore.

But, you find it beautiful, the way he talks about her. Jaemin was so in love with Eunbin that it sent a small ache to your chest, a feeling you’re deeply confused about but you refused to give it the attention and merely pushed it to the side as you see Jaemin’s eyes glaze over as he looks back at you.

“Eunbin, uh… she got accepted into this art school that she desperately wanted and she worked hard for. She would constantly be up all day and night creating new things to send off… I was happy for her, you know, her art is fucking gorgeous” Jaemin praises her with a proud yet faint smile, rubbing the sleeve of his sweater across his nose as he sniffles. “But, um, the school wasn’t here… It was in New York. The fucking art school was in New York and she took it without hesitations, not really caring about anything else even though we talked about it. She said that the art school was the most important and meaningful thing to her… she said nothing else mattered to her and she, just… she…”

“Eunbin left you”

“Yeah, she left me” Jaemin is quiet now, not daring to meet your eyes as he drops his head to look down at the table, tongue poking at his cheek to keep himself neutral. “I was proud of her, I always was. I admired her for working towards her dream and doing whatever she had to do to get to that dream, but… I didn’t think she would leave me that easily, you know? She slept with me, I woke up and she was gone”

“I’m sorry Jaemin”

When Jaemin doesn’t answer, you push yourself out of your seat to walk around the table and sit next to him, throwing your arms around his shoulder for a hug and he’s quick to wrap his arms around you for comfort, his head buried in the crevice of your neck. He holds you tight, fingers gripping the back of your shirt tightly to bring you closer to his body, afraid you would somehow slip away from him like Eunbin did… but you wouldn’t leave him.

…Would you?

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

You come home late that night, bidding Jaemin goodbye at your door when he insisted on walking you home. He held your hand the entire way, fingers locked with yours to tug you close to his body whenever you walked too far ahead or behind. He was quieter than usual too and you had a feeling it was because of the conversation prior. You were scared and anxious, wondering if you fucked everything up by asking about his past and bringing up Eunbin but he smiled at you every time you made eye contact and when he kissed you before you went inside your apartment, you felt a little bit better… only a little.

You kick your shoes off at the door and walk into the living room, a smile creeping onto your face as you see Miwoo sleeping on the sofa with an empty tub of ice-cream in her hands and a blanket wrapped around her shoulders to keep her warm. You carefully reach down to take the empty tub from Miwoo’s hands, holding back a laugh as she huffs and whines in her sleep before curling up into a ball and letting out soft snores.

Entering the kitchen, you’re shocked to see your friends sitting around the island, deep in conversation with bags of candy, ice-cream tubs and half empty bottles of soda surrounding them. Haru’s the first to notice you from her place on top of the counter and with Renjun between her legs with his back against her chest, he notices you next.

“You’re back late” Haru points out and you nod your head sheepishly. Donghyuck and Yangyang’s head snap towards you at the sound of your voice and they rush over, throwing themselves at you and you huff once you feel their weight, almost falling down with Donghyuck who trips over his own feet but Yangyang keeps you upright, arms wrapped tight around your waist as he rubs his cheek against yours.

“Yang—” You grunt, fighting out of his grip. “Get off me, you’re making me all sweaty”

Yangyang hums. “I don’t mind”

“I do!” Your voice strains as you try your hardest to pull out of his arms, succeeding only when you decide to jab his armpits and he yelps, stumbling back and placing his hands under his armpits with a look of disbelief.

“We haven’t seen you all day” Donghyuck pouts, reaching out to caress your head but you dodge, dipping under his arm to make your way over to the trash and throw in the empty ice-cream tub you had momentarily forgot you had in your hands. Donghyuck crosses his arms over his chest. “Jaemin’s been too clingy with you recently and I don’t like it. You were our best friend first, you know”

You smirk, leaning back against the counter. “It sounds like you’re jealous”

“And what if I am?!?” Donghyuck screeches and you immediately press your finger against your lips to be quiet, reminding him that Miwoo is asleep in the living room but Donghyuck doesn’t care. He huffs loudly. “I can’t believe you’re choosing getting your back blown out over hanging out with us… disgusting”

“I’m pretty sure you’ve blown us off multiple times when you tried to sleep with Aisha—”

“Do not mention her name” Donghyuck cuts you off, shoving his fingers into his ears and closing his eyes as if it helps cancel out any other possible sounds. “It’s still a touchy subject”

“Sorry” You chuckle, not feeling apologetic at all as you pour yourself a drink. “And for your information, even though it’s none of your business, we went down to the cafe and hung out. No backs were being blown”

Donghyuck pulls his fingers out of his ears and pats your shoulder sympathetically, clearly hearing what you said. “I’m sorry”

“Wait, you went to the cafe?” Yangyang questions, furrowing his brows. “What? Like a date?”

“No” You immediately answer, shaking your head. “We just hung out, like friends”

“You were there all day” Yangyang points out, his arms now crossing over his chest as his eyes glue onto you. “Did he pay for your shit?”

“Well, yeah, but—”

Yangyang interrupts you. “Then it was a date”

You roll your eyes. “It was not a date”

“I pay for stuff when me and Yeji hang out” Shotaro speaks up from beside you, licking the ice-cream off of his spoon. “It’s just being nice”

“You like Yeji, dude. Of course you’re going to pay for her” Donghyuck chuckles as he unwraps a bright red lollipop and places it on his tongue. “That’s also a great way to get in her good books, good job!”

Shotaro pulls a confused face and he goes to open his mouth until Renjun gently nudges him with his foot, shaking his head to tell him to not get involved which, after a lot of hesitation, he doesn’t. Shotaro turns back to devouring his ice-cream and you smile, rubbing the back of his head affectionately.

Yangyang and Donghyuck continues to grill you about the ‘supposed’ date and you try your hardest to ignore them, smiling when Shotaro offers you a bite of his ice-cream as he holds the spoon close to your face and you go to wrap your lips around the vanilla goodness until Jeno slams his phone down on the table.

“Will you losers shut the fuck up?” Jeno snaps, glaring angrily at Donghyuck and Yangyang who immediately shut up, eyes wide at Jeno’s sudden outburst. “Whatever is going on between Y/N and Jaemin is none of your business. If she says it wasn’t a date, then it wasn’t a fucking date… you’re giving me a headache”

Donghyuck pulls the lollipop out of his mouth, tongue painted a bright red. He points it at Jeno. “What’s crawled up your ass lately? You’ve been grumpy as fuck these past few days”

“Donghyuck” Renjun warns him, sending him a look. “Stop”

“I’m just asking” Donghyuck grumbles, shoving the lollipop back into his mouth and crossing his arms over his chest angrily. He mutters profanities under his breath, ignoring the glare Jeno sends his way, a look that would make anyone go silent in seconds but Donghyuck continues running his mouth.

You roll your eyes, rubbing your temples as Jeno and Donghyuck start to bicker back and forth, Yangyang occasionally adding fuel to the flame by commenting on Jeno’s attitude and backing Donghyuck up. Renjun looks unimpressed as he stares at the trio, shaking his head and glancing over his shoulder at Haru who yawns tiredly, clearly not interested in the fight.

The second Jeno jumps up from his seat, you step forwards and press your hand against his shoulder to forcefully sit him back down, looking between the boys in disbelief. “Really? You’re seriously going to fight over this? What the fuck?”

“Jeno’s the one with his head up his—”

“Stop” You hold out your hand in front of Donghyuck’s face to silence him and to your surprise, his mouth closes instantly and he glares instead. You sigh, dropping your hand to your side and you stare between them. “You guys are being assholes, I hope you realise that”

“Sorry” Donghyuck apologises with a pout, side eyeing Jeno who flips him off before looking back down at his phone. Donghyuck stares at him for a few mere seconds, blinking as he slowly turns his head to face you. You pull a face at his expression and he pokes his tongue out at you childishly.

He resumes in happily sucking the lollipop as if nothing ever happened while Yangyang’s eyes are stuck on you, teeth snagging on his bottom lip. He watches as you bring your attention to Jeno, eyeing him with so much curiosity and wonder that he almost finds it endearing, and he hates it.

Yangyang has never felt the feelings that swirl around in his tummy before, nor has he experienced his heart racing so fast he feels like he’s going to collapse. God, he hates it. He hates it so much. It makes him feel sick that he can’t control how he’s feeling whenever he’s around you. Why do you make him feel so much? Why do you make him feel?

Gross, he thinks with a grimace, yet he can’t help but smile at you when you meet his eyes, the swirling in his tummy and the giddy feeling letting him know that he is screwed.

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

“So…” You begin, sitting on the stool opposite Jeno to capture his attention once you’re both alone. The others decide to split off into small groups: Haru and Renjun heading to her room together to spend some time alone with each other, the latter complaining about being around you all for too long and losing brain cells while the former yawns during every sentence, exhausted from the day she’s had.

Yangyang, Donghyuck and Shotaro invade the living room to watch movies the second Miwoo wakes up to go to the bathroom, kicking her out of her comfy spot on the sofa which nearly ended up in her attacking them all with the TV remote out of rage but she calms herself down once she realises that she doesn’t have the energy to fight, instead she flips them off and disappears down the hallway.

You and Jeno remain in the kitchen, cleaning up after the mess they all created in silence which you wanted to break, rummaging through your brain for conversation starters but you frown as nothing interesting comes up, washing your hands angrily in the sink before a light bulb appears above your head.

Jeno meets your eyes the second you sit opposite him, raising a brow curiously. “So?”

“Have you and Miwoo made up yet?” Jeno shrugs his shoulders and your frown deepens. “I… don’t really know what that’s supposed to mean”

“Miwoo hasn’t said a word to me today” He runs his fingers through his hair, messing with the growing mullet that suits him pretty nicely. “I was hoping we’d talk and she would apologise but, you know, I’ve had nothing”

You furrow your brows. “What exactly happened between you two?”

Jeno sighs as he starts to explain. “I’ve been stressed these past couple of days with college and with some shit that’s going through my head. I thought I’d feel better with telling Miwoo about it, hoping that she’d give me some advice or something but she basically just brushed it to the side and tried to have sex with me to make me feel better… I love sex. I have sex with her every single day. I enjoy sex… I just didn’t want it in that moment and it caused an argument”

“Oh, I thought you guys argued about the whole hair dyeing situation”

“We argued about that too” Jeno nods, twisting the rings on his fingers with a slight frown on his face. “I wanted to dye my hair blue just for a little bit of fun but Miwoo didn’t want me to do it because she didn’t want me too, because she didn’t like it, because she prefers the black… I just snapped, I couldn’t help it. I called her selfish and that she didn’t care about what I thought. I didn’t mean it and I actually really regret it, but I was angry that she’s not considering how I feel about certain things”

Your heart pangs at the sight of seeing Jeno so down, knowing him as the happiest and upbeat type of guy. His eyes hold no emotion and there’s no smile on his lips. It pains you to see him this way.

“I’m not trying to make excuses for her, but you know that Miwoo has trouble expressing certain feelings…” The way Jeno’s face drops makes you feel even more terrible. “She knows that sex makes you both happy and that’s probably why she tried to initiate it in the first place, to make you both happy. With the whole wanting to dye your hair blue thing, I think Miwoo was genuinely just trying to look out for you… Remember when you bleached your hair blonde? It literally snapped off of your head like a twig”

“Yeah, I know” Jeno mutters as he mindlessly picks at his hoodie, finding interest in the patterns and refusing to meet your eyes. “Still sucks. Still feel shitty”

“You should try and talk to her now” You suggest, sending him a small hopeful smile. “She’s alone in her room. It will probably be better to talk to her alone, it’s easier to be honest with each other then”

“Maybe”

“Jeno…” You frown, nudging him to capture his attention and he looks up to meet your eyes. You gesture to his head. “What’s going on up there?”

“I love her” He admits, sighing softly. “I love her so much that I’m afraid that if I go to her room right now to try and talk, I’ll say something stupid and we’ll end up on a break again. I don’t want to lose her… she’s mine, you know?”

You nod your head slowly. “Yeah”

Jeno goes silent for a moment. He stares down at his hands, scratching at the skin around his nails. You could see that he feels worried, his head filling with nothing but thoughts of Miwoo and you reach across the table to comfortingly pat his shoulder.

The second he feels your touch, he snaps out of his head, clearing his throat and adjusting himself in his seat. He leans on the table, resting his chin on his hand as he looks at you.

“How was your day with Jaemin?”

“It was fine” You say, starting to nervously fiddle with your fingers. “We went to the 7 Dream cafe, we spoke to Jisung for a bit…” You pause, wondering if you should tell him about what happened between you and Jaemin. He has to know, he’s his best friend. “Jaemin, uh… He told me about Eunbin”

“He told you?” Jeno gapes, his hand dropping to the table in shock. “He told you about Eunbin? Like, everything?”

“Yeah” You nod your head.

“Is he okay?” You instantly notice the way Jeno’s body tenses up and you frown, wanting to question why he’s having such a reaction but he beats you to it. “He hasn’t spoken about her in six months… god, he shuts down completely even if something reminds him of her… I can’t believe he opened up. Is he alright?”

“I mean, I think so?” Jeno doesn’t seem impressed with the answer. “He was quiet after we talked about it, which is normal, but he still walked me home and he still, uh…” You pause, heat creeping up your neck as you gulp at the image of Jaemin kissing you before you went inside. “He said his goodbyes”

“Nothing else?”

You shake your head and Jeno sighs, leaning back in his seat with his bottom lip tucked between his teeth in deep thought. The way Jeno’s acting makes you feel uneasy, your leg nervously shaking beneath the table and your fingers fiddling in your lap. Your mind’s racing with multiple thoughts and scenarios that it makes your heart start to beat faster, the sound too loud in your ears.

You subtly try to calm yourself down, steading your breathing and repeatedly telling yourself that everything is fine, everything is going to be okay and that there was nothing to worry about but you’re too far deep in your head that you fail to realise that Jeno’s standing up from his seat ready to leave, shoving his phone into his pocket.

“I’m heading home” Jeno tells you and you’re abruptly pulled from your inner thoughts, head snapping upwards to look up at Jeno.

“You’re leaving?”

“I want to see Jaemin” He explains, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “He, uh, he got really down after him and Eunbin broke up… I want to make sure he’s okay”

“Yeah, okay, I get it” You nod your head in understanding but you call out Jeno’s name before he makes his leave. “Can I tell you something that’s been bugging me just for a few seconds?”

Jeno nods, a look of concern spreading across his face. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just that—” You pause to sigh, crossing your arms over your chest. “When Mia came up to me that day, she told me that Eunbin and Jaemin never ended things on bad terms. But when Jaemin was explaining everything to me earlier, it seemed like they did”

“It’s two sides to everything. That’s two different perspectives to what happened that night. Eunbin probably thinks it never ended on bad terms and that they’re fine because she was able to go off and do whatever shit she wanted to do with a huge smile on her face, while Jaemin was left behind with nothing” Jeno explains to you and you’re surprised how much it makes sense after being confused for long. “He was hurt. The girl that he loved just… gone”

“That’s awful” You whisper, your heart twisting painfully for Jaemin and you wanted to go to him, to comfort him again and to apologise as much as you possibly could for making him talk about something so upsetting and brutal.

You wanted to ask if you could come with him to see Jaemin but you also didn’t want to intrude, knowing that Jeno would be the best at comforting his best friend at this moment… Besides, you wouldn’t even know what to do if you walked into their home and saw Jaemin upset.

The thought alone makes you feel angry, but why?

“I’ll go tell the boys that I’m leaving” Jeno informs you and you hum, sending him a short lipped smile when his hand pats the back of your head in a way of saying goodbye and you watch as he slips out of the kitchen.

You shortly follow behind, leaning against the doorframe just as Renjun emerges from Haru’s room. Jeno stands beside him, neck craning downwards to mutter something in his ears and Renjun’s eyes flicker over to you for a brief second before looking straight ahead, nodding to whatever Jeno’s whispering in his ear.

Jeno bids everyone a small goodbye once he shoves his feet into his shoes, leaving the apartment without another word. Renjun stays put, staring at the front door for a couple of seconds before slowly turning on his heel, making his way back to Haru’s room silently and you pull a face at how unusually quiet he’s being.

“Do you want to watch a movie with us?” Yangyang questions you from his position on the sofa, looking over at you with hope filled eyes and you suck in a deep breath, putting on your best fake smile as you nod.

“Yeah” You try to push the worrying thoughts out of your head. “Sure”

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

you: hey you: i dont have classes today :) you: do u wanna do smth with me [read at 8:04am]

⋯⋯⋯

you: we can go get breakfast you: jisung said that kun is working today so we can finally get those pancakes lol [read at 9:00am]

⋯⋯⋯

you: ok or not [read at 9:32am]

…jaemin is typing …jaemin is typing …jaemin is typing

you: ???? [read at 9:50am]

⋯⋯⋯

you: jaemin are u ok you: ??

jaemin: come here jaemin: the house jaemin: please

“Where are you rushing off too?” Miwoo asks curiously as you emerge from your room in a hurry, almost tripping over your own feet but you catch yourself, placing a hand on the wall to balance yourself as you shove your sock covered feet into your shoes. She eyes your appearance with furrowed brows, pursing her lips together. “That doesn’t look very ‘breakfast attire’… where are you going?”

“Jaemin’s” You answer, not even bothering to tie up your laces as you grab your jacket from the coat rack, thrusting your arms through the sleeves.

“Wait, wha— I thought we were going for breakfast?!”

“You and Haru can go on ahead, I’ll meet you there” You tell her, immediately opening and closing the door behind yourself without hearing whatever she had to say next. You wrap your arms around your body to keep you warm as the cold air nips at your bare legs, mentally cursing for not getting changed into something more appropriate but you hardly cared once you got that message from Jaemin.

It was ominous, it made you feel uneasy. It made you frustrated at first, seeing how he was reading and ignoring your messages, making you think you had done something wrong but now you’re worried, wondering why he wanted you at his house so quickly. Was he in trouble? Did something happen between him and the boys?

You whip your phone out of your pocket, pulling up Jeno’s contact.

you: jeno you: are u at ur house

jeno: um no??? jeno: me hyuck & yang are at college we finish early like at 10 i think jeno: renjuns with shotaro idk where and jaems at home jeno: why

you: jaemin is home alone??

jeno: yeah

you: have u spoken to him today

jeno: ??? obviously jeno: ur weird lol jeno: i gtg we’ll meet up later for breakfast :)

you: wait jeno [delivered]

“Fuck” You speak through gritted teeth, shoving your phone back into your pocket and breaking out into a light sprint, your heart pounding against your chest.

It doesn’t take long to reach their house, coming to a stop to catch your breath and rubbing at your chest, and you go to reach for your phone to let Jaemin know that you’re outside before you pause, spotting an unfamiliar vehicle parked in the driveway.

You slowly stand up straight, eyeing the white jeep in confusion. You’ve never seen this jeep before. Nothing about it seemed familiar to you and it bugged you. Did any of them learn how to drive and not say anything? Did this car belong to Jaemin? Maybe this is why he wanted you to come over…

You walk to the front door, not being able to tear your eyes away from the jeep and you grip the door handle, allowing yourself inside the house. You listen out for any noises as you kick off your shoes, pushing them to the side nonchalantly but you do a double take, noticing another pair of shoes already in place.

You would’ve guessed that the white sneakers would’ve belonged to any of the boys if it wasn’t for the messily painted blue butterflies and green aliens on the sides. A weird combination, but you actually liked it.

Stepping further into the house, you start to hear something move in the kitchen and you make your way towards the sound, expecting to see Jaemin completely fine and waiting for you but you stumble over your own feet in shock, catching yourself on the doorframe as you stare with wide eyes at the girl sitting at the kitchen island.

She doesn’t notice you yet, too focussed on the breakfast bagel in one hand and her phone in the other, her thumb tapping against the screen. The first thing you notice was her smile, so sweet and bright that it reaches her eyes that seem to be filled with nothing but happiness, her face shows it too.

Her hair is long, cascading so messily yet prettily down her shoulders while her bangs are perfectly styled against her forehead. Her attire: a green knitted sweater vest with a white shirt beneath and some baggy jeans made you feel jealous, wanting to be able to look so good in something so simple.

But it was the necklace that made you freeze, unable to form a sentence or to even make your presence known. Eunbin, it reads in fancy silver writing. That’s Eunbin…

The second she turns her head and her eyes meet yours, you’re starstruck. She is beautiful. Her face is hardly covered in any source of makeup. A natural beauty… you understand why Jaemin was so smitten by her.

“Hello” Eunbin greets you with a smile, her voice so soft and velvety. She puts her breakfast bagel down on a place and grabs a napkin to wipe her hands, fully turning to face you in her seat.

Your throat seems dry and you’re aware you probably look like an idiot just staring but you can’t form a sentence, too stunned by the girl sitting a few arm lengths away from you.

“Hey” Your voice cracks once you greet her back and you cringe at yourself, clearing your throat just as Eunbin gets out of her seat to come towards you, still smiling as she reaches out with her hand outstretched.

“I’m Eunbin” She introduces herself. “You must be Y/N, right? I’ve heard a lot about you, it’s great to finally get to meet you in person”

“Oh” You struggle to find the right words to say as you respectfully shake her hand, a million questions running through your mind but you can’t find your voice, struggling to believe that the girl you had been so curious about is now standing right in front of you.

You hate how awkward and out of place you feel right now, taking a quick glance down at your own attire and you wish that you had decided on a much nicer outfit other than some shorts and a sweatshirt that didn’t even belong to you.

“Jaemin’s upstairs, if you’re wondering where he is” Eunbin tells you as she walks back to her seat, taking a quick bite out of her breakfast table before pointing at a coffee carrier. She covers her mouth as she speaks. “I bought some coffee. Please, take one if you’re thirsty”

“I’m okay, thank you” You dismiss, finally being able to move your feet as you step further into the kitchen. Eunbin gestures for you to sit down opposite her and you feel obliged too, slowly sitting down in the chair with your hands folded in your lap. You bite your inner cheek harshly. “How… how do you know my name?”

Eunbin meets your eyes and chuckles softly. “I, uh, I knew you previously but I recently saw you on Jaemin’s instagram. You hang out with the boys and that’s where I knew you from the first time, I saw you and your girl friends around a lot when I used to be here. But I flew in early this morning and when I came to see him, Jaemin explained to me that you would be over soon and I’ve been excited to actually meet you and talk to you”

Her answer seems so genuine and real. You couldn’t get over how nicely she was speaking to you. You had doubts in the back of your mind, wondering if it was going to be a ‘calm before the storm’ situation but she proved you wrong.

God, why was she so fucking nice? You wanted her to be evil. You wanted her to hate your guts so you had an excuse to hate hers for what she did to Jaemin.

“Flew in early?” You fake confusion, the nail of your thumb scratching at your palm anxiously. “Where have you been?”

“Oh!!” She beams excitingly, quickly unlocking her phone and tapping her camera album app with urgency. “I’ve been in New Yor—”

“Hey” Your head snaps in the direction of the voice, seeing Jaemin stand in the doorway. Your heart falls into your stomach as you see his face, complexion pale and eyes wide as he struggles to fully look at Eunbin, keeping his attention on you. His body seems tense as he enters the kitchen, bare feet padding in your direction, keeping his head low until he reaches you.

Once your hand instinctively reaches out to touch his arm, Jaemin relaxes. He allows himself to lean his full body weight onto you, his fingers gripping the back of the sweatshirt you’re wearing and the corner of his lips switch up into a short smile as he realises that it’s one of his sweatshirts. It calms him, seeing you here right now in his clothes. His heart warmed at the thought of how fast you came over when he asked, the tips of his fingers stroking your back in gratitude.

He finally manages to raise his head higher and peer over at Eunbin who’s already looking his way. She smiles when she meets his eyes and Jaemin gulps, blinks a few times and then looks back down, focussing his attention on your hands that rest in your lap, eager to slip his fingers between yours and leave.

“I’m sorry if I’m making things awkward but…” Eunbin pauses, pointing between the two of you with a brow raised. “Are you guys, like, a thing? Or?”

Neither of you speak which piques Eunbin’s curiosity. Your mouth feels dry again and Jaemin tenses up beside you, the two of you unable to find your voices. How can you tell someone that you’re sleeping with their ex-boyfriend in front of them? But she’s an ex-girlfriend in the first place, it’s okay. Your body buzzes with anxiety once again and you internally groan, hating the fact that you’re having this inner dilemma with yourself

You clear your throat. “We’re—”

“—We’re sleeping together” Jaemin tells her and your mouth snaps shut, eyes almost bulging out of your head as you stare at Eunbin. What the fuck! Jaemin’s hand slips up your back, resting on your shoulder instead. “We’re exclusive”

What the fuck!!!!!!

Your head almost comically turns to look at Jaemin who wears nothing but a smile on his face, dropping his eye into a wink when the two of you make eye contact. You stare at him incredulously, fully not understanding why the fuck he would tell her that.

You slowly turn back to Eunbin and laugh awkwardly, refusing to meet her eyes as you reach for one of the coffees and gulp down it’s contents so quickly that your throat hurts and you’re losing air to breathe, but you would do anything to not have this conversation right now.

“Oh” That’s all Eunbin says as she glances between you both, clearly not expecting that answer. “How long?”

“A mont—“

You clear your throat loudly, interrupting Jaemin who looks down at you confused. You give him your best fake apologetic smile. “Sorry, I had something stuck in the back of my throat… Anyways, I’m late, gotta go, bye”

The second you stand from your seat, Jaemin grips your hand with a frown. He senses that you’re feeling uncomfortable and panicky, his thumb grazing over the top of your hand in hopes to calm you down but you struggle, especially when Eunbin is sitting there and watching you both.

He pulls your attention from Eunbin when his hand boldly cups your cheek so you can look at him, only him. Your face warms at the sudden acting, not wanting to do this type of thing in front of his ex-girlfriend but your worries fade once you see the expression in his eyes. He’s scared? Why was he scared?

“Where are you going?” He questions with a whisper, his voice now small and frail, a big difference to a few seconds ago. “Don’t… don’t leave”

Your heart pangs in your chest as you realise that he doesn’t want you to leave him alone with Eunbin. He’s scared to be alone with Eunbin. You frown, turning to look over at Eunbin who watches you both with a frown on her face, nervously playing with the bracelet on her wrist.

“We’re going to be late to get breakfast with everyone” You tell him and a look of relief washes over Jaemin’s face as he notices you’re going to take him with you and his hand slips down from the cheek to grab your hand.

“Wait…” Eunbin speaks up before either of you get a chance to tell her you both need to go. She rubs the back of her neck and a nervous smile spreads across her lips as you both look at her. “I just got here… I haven’t seen you in months and you’ve been avoiding me. Can we please just talk? Please?”

“I…” Jaemin sighs heavily, running his fingers through his hair. He feels conflicted now, seeing the sad look on Eunbin’s face crushes his heart but with your hand wrapped around his and body brushing against his arm, he wants you. He wants to leave with you.

“I promise I won’t be long” Eunbin promises him. “Just for an hour… I want to talk to you”

Jaemin’s silent, staring down at the ground with his brows pulled together. His mind overcrowds with confusing thoughts that give him a headache and he bites down hard on his tongue to try and focus on the pain instead of the voices in his head but he struggles.

Closure, a voice in his head. This could be closure.

He slowly starts to nod his head. “Okay, fine. I’ll stay”

You almost get whiplash at how fast Jaemin changes his mind, not even daring to meet his eyes as you feel him looking at you. You ignore him, straightening up your back and sending a smile Eunbin’s way.

“It was nice meeting you”

“You too” She smiles back. “I hope we can see each other again”

You nod your head, bidding her a quick goodbye before you remove your hand from Jaemin’s grasp and walk out of the kitchen, heading towards the front door, desperate to get out of this house but a tug on your wrist prevents you from going any further and your back presses up against the door.

Jaemin’s in front of you, panic in his eyes from how fast you’re trying to leave without saying anything to him. Why are you mad? Do you even feel mad? Is it disappointment? He hates not knowing what you’re thinking and you hate the feelings that you’re feeling.

His hands come up to gently touch your face, pushing the strand of hairs behind your ears neatly as he tries to lower his head down to meet your eyes. His breath fans across your face when he leans closer and you start to shake your head for a reason that's unknown but with the hand that’s on your face, he cradles your jaw to lift up your head before pressing his mouth to yours in a slow kiss.

You feel your body relax and you sigh into the kiss, hands gripping the material of his shirt to bring him as close to you as you could and he moves forward, his body flush against yours. Your arms slide around his shoulders, fingers tugging at the hair on the back of his head as you deepen the kiss. Your lips move slowly but it’s so desperate and yearning, neither of you wanting the other to slip away and when Jaemin’s arms slither around your waist, you realise what’s going on and who’s in the room next door.

You reluctantly pull away before you allow yourself to get lost in the moment and Jaemin breathes heavily as he stares at you, leaning forward so his forehead rests against your own.

“I didn’t want to stay… but I need to do this for me, for closure” Jaemin explains to you, hands rubbing the bottom of your back. “I need to tell her how I felt. I need her to understand that I—”

“You don’t have to explain it” You cut him off with a smile, still playing with the hair at the back of his head. “It’s okay”

Jaemin nods grafetully, kissing your lips again one last time before he lets you go to open the front door for you. You exhale deeply and you turn to leave, wrapping your arms around yourself as you walk into the cold air.

“Hey, Y/N?” Jaemin calls out your name as he remains standing at the door. You hum as you look at him and Jaemin bites down on his bottom lip, seeming to have an inner struggle. “I…uh…”

“What?”

“I…” Jaemin swallows thickly, letting out a chuckle and shaking his head, a smile creeping onto his lips. “I appreciate you”

Your heart warms at that, a shy smile present on your features and you go to say something back until you see Eunbin walking up behind him, peering over his shoulder and he jumps at the proximity. The smile slowly slips away as you notice the way Eunbin looks at him before she looks at you and she politely waves goodbye before Jaemin closes the door, leaving you outside alone.

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊. 𝐈 𝐀𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐈𝐒𝐄

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