#of the monster fei du tjinks he is.
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Fei Du and Luo Wenzhou's relationship is so layered and complicated and lovely and just a fucking joy to see each layer of, to see shift. No wonder this book is my favorite.
#rant#lb#modu#silent reading#i FORGOT how fei du uses rudeness/flirting to control disrance or closeness in his relationship w lwz#i forgot he lashes out to see if hes still loved or if he proves he is monstrous#i forgot luo wenzhou hides a lot of his doting fawning as Concern for a Junior#i forgot lwz really treats tr and fd over protective but at least tao ran tells him off and is treated semi equal. for fei du the equality#takes time. i forgot how MUCH luo wenzhou and fei du use some of their most needy and dependent traits on each other#fei du feels monstrous and WANTS to scare what he loves away to ptotect them from him. but also wants to see if theyd still llve him#luo wenzhou Wants to prove he can protect what he loves. wants to prove what he loves can be good (that one seniors saughter working for the#bad guy really fucks hjm up because he does loyally tend to believe ppl he loves are Good)#he wants to prove rational things tpo like fei du is a Regular bratty young adult (not evil just not particularly sweet eitjer lol) instead#of the monster fei du tjinks he is.#luo wenzhou needs a partner to lean on (tao ran serving rhe function for half). fei du needs someone to make him feel normal#(which tao ran also serves at first - since lwz is Too much like fei dus dad and mom in his heart at first#as someone who orders him. who fei du treasures but fears he'll hurt. who seems a risk to lose)#they have such a complicated way of relating to each other BUT they wear it on their fucking sleeves
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