#of ppl who had gotten bitten by one

[potatobugz]

day and night. the lonely stoner thinks about the giant water bugs at night

[toytulini]

honestly sounds like an unwise choice of dog(young high energy likely due to breed temperament and lineage to to have a higher reactivity and distrust of strangers?) have in that environment and im glad hes apparently living with family friends now, hope that helps w the behavioral issues

[hows-my-handwriting]

Hobie Brown Headcanons

long post ahead. will put as much as i can under the cut but i will have a.... loose table of contents.

and im not feeding you everything. i need more content to drip feed you later.

the inspo is driving me crazy but the hands are refusing to write.

the table: backstory food british animals

lmk if ppl want this to be split up into individual posts per category. cuz its l o n g

BACKSTORY:

Not based on the comics. purely my own attempt at writing his backstory and his particular villains.

Hobie's Doc Oc was a university professor pressured by Osborn's regime to produce weapons. Hobie had met the guy while crashing a university class, but nothing more than that. Octavius snapped and took the revolution to the extreme. he built a WMD and planned to use it on the city. Hobie talked octavius down and disarmed the weapon.

Hobie's lizard was his close friend and bandmate who got jealous over their lead singer's affections towards hobie. they were close friends until hobie started drifting away. curtis was bitter and never really forgave him. the final straw was when hobie returned in full, having just abandoned his spider suit. the band is back together but curtis still has hard feelings. he knew vaguely about hobie's connection with spiderman but thought that it was some kind of special deal or friendship which was just another nail in the coffin. he turns himself into the lizard and attacks hobie, demanding answers and refusing to listen.

the above is just an excuse to hurt hobie really bad >:3 i love my angst and my beating my muses up. i wanted to break his ribs.

electro was a civilian who just happened to get struck by lightning. he is the sole reason hobie has insulated all of his gear and one of the reasons all of his spikes can shoot excess electricity like one of those funky little electrode balls. hobie took one look at this guy and immediately got to work.

Kraven was a bounty hunter hired and possibly engineered by osborn and fisk to hunt down hobie. classic kraven activities. he tried to drown hobie in the thames. hobie managed to escape but couldn't breathe or eat properly for a week after the attack

hobie's ship was hauled from the local junkyard. It was originally just used as a figure head to lead the charge from the government locked dam blocking off water. it somehow survived so he uses it as his hq.

hobie is immune to his scorpion's venom after being stung so many times and stealing samples of it to build up an immunity. yes it hurt. yes it sucked. but it worked. (loosely inspired by a fanfic)

the above are not in chronological order. mostly.

FOOD:

Hobie's world doesn't have a lot of spices. it's a closed state unless importing 'important' materials like lumber, steel and other sciency stuff, food is a lower priority or just a restricted luxury. the spice trade has regressed to something like the 1600s where foreign spices are held by those in power purely as a status symbol. the common man might have access to salt, sugar and cream, but anything else- especially anything spicy- is a luxury item.

hobie would love spicy food. i just dont think he's gotten much exposure to it. day one out of e-138 he opened a bag of spicy chips in the cafeteria, touched one and exploded.

exotic/foreign fruits fall under this same category but for more legit reasons of travel and lack of safe storage. so for example: mangoes, oranges/citrus, kiwi, pomegranates.

boba would freak him the fuck out. he has no idea what those little jiggly things are and its only made worse when one of the kids inevitably shows him the hamster 'is it worth it' meme. he becomes scarred for life.

if you take too long to take a bite out of whatever you're holding and hobie is hungry, he will just lean over and take a bite out of it. sandwich? bitten. spaghetti? stolen off the fork. chocolate bar? wrapper and bar, gone.

his favorite flavor of cake is chocolate or caramel. sue me im projecting onto him

BRITISH

he holds out his pinky when holding cups. it's just an unconscious thing that turns conscious once someone calls it out. in which case he sticks it out even further

flips the police and the royal family off regularly with the one fingered or the two fingered version. will only respect the french for inventing the creative two fingered fuck you, but nothing else.

has a winter fit that is just like a pile of whatever sweaters he has and two scarves. and long socks that make the space in his tight boots even more tight. sometimes cuts off circulation to his feet.

loves going to pubs and just chatting with people. also loves picking fights with the drunk people. Particularly the irish. he thinks their accents are funny and has long arguments with them while they're both speaking absolute gibberish.

knows french but only the insults. has an arsenal of french insults he will just whip out of his back pocket and drop on someone's head.

not really a british thing but i bet he doesn't know how to ride a bike. he was a) too tall and b) not willing to get his entire skeleton rattled by riding over the cobbled streets of london.

wimpy's fan. (its like the british version of mcdonalds but less popular and less famous. according to my research).

ANIMALS

Hobie keeps pigeons. he built a little house when he was bored and was surprised to find three pigeons hiding from the rain underneath it the next day. he didn't really intend to keep them but they nested and he kept bringing them food and water. he did name the brown one hobie jr.

hobie has a cat. again, not really 'has' but rather 'it broke into his boat and wont leave'. he didn't name her because he can't think of a good one. for the longest time he had no idea she was living in his floorboards but later discovered a hole in the side of his boat and found a crawlspace just large enough for a kitten.

he is freaked out by snakes. not as in a fear of snakes. but rather in utter disbelief that they can be the size of a human person. he's read about and probably seen the average snake, about the size of an arm. but anything larger than that will make his jaw drop right off of his face

he did have a symbiote dog for a short time. the dog was badly hurt and the passive symbiote had merged with its body to try and help it. he offered it a place to stay and rest and it happily agreed. it followed him around for the short while they had together and one day went off on its own.

he still sees that dog around (affectionately named 'spider-mutt') and offers it head scratches or belly rubs but they always part ways sooner than later.

loves opossums. thinks they look funny.

part two? maybe....

might add more to this as my brain keeps turning.

[theonceandfuturekingofalbion]

TEEN WOLF HEADCANON TIMELINE

Hitlers family was patriarchy hunter fam.

Hitler had illegit bebe (gerard) w french woman who was an argent during? End of? War

Gerard resented women being in charge over him.

Chris not vicious/bloodthirsty and brown haired.

Kate vicious/bloodthirsty n easily manipulated by daddy n blonde/blue eyed.

Didnt have much to do w allison cuz coloring and didnt display his desired vicious traits.

But was easily manipulated later so worthy of some time n attention when he had no kate. 

Gerard molested kate, turned her to pedo, groomed her

---

Talia--born 1960

Deaton--born 1963

Marin-- born 1975 (12 yrs after deaton)

---

Phoenixend--

I was thinking about your post with human papa Hale/Talia and it turned into a hc about them being the prototype sterek with Talia being this serious, regal alpha-in-the-making and this clumsy disaster of a human boy who's just a big ol' simp and was like "yeah I'm gonna marry that woman and take HER last name" idk i just had to share because your posts make my day

Ohheytherebigbadwolf--

That is my exact hc for them XD Like, Derek takes after his mom in more than just looks, aight?

Papa Hale wasn't even human-but-slightly-to-the-left like Lydia or questionably magical like Stiles, he was literally just Some Dude. Considering the decade in which he and Talia met, he was probably a stoner who was too blazed to be bothered by his gf turning furry. First time he saw her shift, he was just like, "Neato!" And Talia immediately went, "This one and no other."

Cue Nana Hale's well-meant parental despair like, "You're turning down eight suitors from established packs for that?!" Like, no, mom, you don't understand, he said my beta shift was neat and called my eyes pretty, and he thinks it's cool I can pick him up, I want this one.

Obvi, he quit smoking once Laura happened, but even then, he's just Chill. He vibes with the weird. He's like Gomez Addams. His wife is the most awesome wonderful fantastic woman ever and the greatest Alpha and the bestest mom, and his kids are just as incredible as she is, I love them so much, wanna see pictures?

---

NEMETON: northern California, Greenland, western Europe, Egypt (or Sudan), China, and Siberia in 6x16 map. Greenland, northern Africa, Toulouse in France, Zhengzhou in China, Logashkino in Siberia, and Brasília in Brazil. 

NEMETON--Mikaelsons tree was also nemeton

Nemeton--both deaton and alex argent cut Nemeton down for money and power

Talia's dad fought Alexander at Nemeton n bit but died, making Talia alpha, leading to Deaton able to convince her that if Nemeton was healthy n not corrupted the hunter wouldn't have gotten that far

Alexander argent bitten May 3, 1977

NEMETON--Nemeton a branch of world tree

According to Chris Argent, a Nemeton is a sacred space used by Druids for various rituals.

He says druids picked a large, older tree in a grove to represent the center of the world.

Many believed that cutting or harming the "world tree" would bring severe problems like fires, plagues, strife, “death and destruction of all kinds” to surrounding villages. (Visionary)

Druid Emissary Alan Deaton explains that the power of the Nemeton is like a magnet that draws supernatural creatures to itself like a beacon. (Alpha Pact)

WOLF--Wolves connected to world trees per spellwork from beginning to allow werewolf and not just wolf

WOLF--Full shift wolf is sign of punishment. Spell allowing human shift removed. Most cases.

WOLF--Will eventually lead to all wolf all the time if issues not corrected

WOLF--Wolfs must protect nemeton

NEMETON--Nemton murdered when cut down

NEMETON--Spirit of murdered nemeton is The Hollow. Needs to be moved sometimes. Requires symbolic sacrifice.

NEMETON: the tree should have grown back. It was deliberately NOT ALLOWED to over the years as we see example of when sprout is snatched on screen

---

What if Weres also came about because some ppl were closer to their spirit animals more than others and they eventually got so good at connecting that they took on traits?

As generations happened, it was typical for similar spirit-bondeds to become partners/spouses/whatev AND each generation the newest youngsters took the basics from the previous generations and added to it. Expounded upon it until eventually it became a part of their genetics? Like evolution, sorta?? 

---

Moms carry higher percentage likelihood gonna be born a were than dads do. Like 75 to men's 50? Ish?

---

Laura--born 1984

---

Jackson's parents run off road by hunters?

He was human kid of weres?

Peter n the woman in car are bio parents?

Talia chose Malia's name and adoptive family on purpose.

(t)ALIA/(m)ALIA T(ate)

She left what she thought was a clever fucking clue.

---

Argent pendant is hexed/spelled to enhance natural allure to hide the intensifying and ever increasing corruption of the wearers psyche. A sometimes slow process, the speed at which the malicious infection grows within is dependent on the size of the wearers naturally occurring unhealthy darkness. Also enhances supes naturally occurring desire for wearer but only if supe already has desire for wearer.

---

Deucalion--took out his 1st pack when marin in last yr college

prompted her choice of councilor/therapist masters while he healed/built new pack

then he killed 2nd pack and is how became alpha of alphas

Gerard placed spell on Deucalion via neurotoxin delivery system that had side effect of blindness when mixed with mt ash

---

The Beacon Hills Nemeton remained dormant, powerless for many years until Derek Hale killed his high school girlfriend Paige among the tree's roots. This unintentional blood sacrifice powered the tree enough to allow Druid Emissary Julia Baccari to survive after being attacked and left for dead by Alpha Werewolf Kali. (The Overlooked)

---

Stiles had boa constrictor as pet (mom prolly encouraged/helped)

Stiles n rents til claudia dies. (Second grade ish.)

Noah drinks.

Coworkers get him to stop.

Scott n sm Roxie dog, attacked by rabid doberman.

Roxie died to protect. Bloody leash in hospital.

Asthma attack. Likely had allergies as kid n stressful attack caused. Once happens, avalanche.

Scott n rents til stairs. (Elementary school.)

Stiles knew, so was after met.

McCalls divorce.

Scott lives with rafe.

Stiles n Scott 'bffs'--on stiles' side at least.

---

Hale wards didn't work against kate n hunters n arson n ill intent. Why not? Deaton's greedy, skeevy butt

Deaton helped hunters at hale fire

Peter hit with spell (while in house as seen in flashbacks) that initiated w/fire and ended w fire

Kept prisoner in his own brain, occasional slip out to plot for survival, reminiscent of stiles while possessed

Puppeteered, not in control, not technically a wolf so is how escaped fire w/mt ash AND why healing didnt kick in

FIRE--Wolfsbane was used in fire and held back healing as well

FLARE--Laura n peter had disconnect b4 fire so easy/relief to abandon peter

PETER--Nurse jennifer was assigned as nurse but practiced magic.

She was Deatons student?

Got peter and started using to power spells because werewolf stamina/energy and connection to Nemeton via hale blood pact with land and tree.

Like a battery

Then spelled his healing to suuuper slow?

tho inhaled wolfabane and mt ash in burns didn't help him either

PETER--Nurse jennifer sold permission for hunters to come trophyphoto peter

Perhaps kept dosed w wolfsbane to slow healing as well. Just to be safe.

---

Julia baccari did deer spiral to set up her own chess board for revenge

Was still in area all that time, but had to recover and then rebuild magic and sacrifice enough for glamour, but couldn't do in BH or would possibly prevent alpha pack showing up

Deaton alerts laura

Argents arrive for move prep

Argents house hunted (lol even houses aren't safe fr yhem) n xferred Allison before winter break so could start 1st day back of spring semester

Peter kills laura, not cuts in half. Is hunter MO

Argents check out hale property just to be safe

Find female body with werewolf claw marks

Cut body in half to make sure wont yurn

Leave to get Allison n move in

Derek arrives in bh

Jogger finds laura

gogo teen wolf power on!

Scott bitten cuz smelled like stiles and was also connection yo stiles

Peter chose lydia for banshee AND connection to stiles

Explains peter offering stiles bite--was lucid moment

Stiles' spark would have burned away yhe strings/the spell

---

Derek loves 90's alternative

---

Tyler Lockwood and danny mahealani are cousins

---

Advanced healing: each healing causes weres to age more, hence satomi's age looking the same and Peter aging so much in 6 yrs and Derek getting older in first season.

Which goes with power thing for mothers per later discussed cuz Malia

---

Kids didn't hafta drown for LOCATION spell

Power of three blood locator spell woulda worked

Supes can find Nemeton in supe-skin

---

Juliadarach burned all of spell, n mt ash out of Deucalion

neurotoxin was long gone/was just delivery system anyways 

---

Noshiko was over 800 yrs old when summoned nogi

Knew better

Doubtful 1st time noshiko did this 

Wasn't 1st time loved in all that time

What if nogi was influencing things before he got loose?

Like how it seemed nemeton was reaching out for stiles.

Deaton and/or Talia's actions/inactions?

It mite explain why nemeton didnt grow until that one tiny sprout that was pulled.

Nogi draining the power reserves

Why was nogi phys form a housefly when is a fox? 

Only oni were lightning bugs (agents of order)

Nogi was oni and she took his spark with way she summoned him, so altered him (Agent of chaos)

It's why he was attracted to stiles

Stiles is Spark

He kept saying 'nevwr trust a fox'

He was never in fox form (sorta makes sense tho cuz inhabited a non-shifter body) or w fox aura

Maybe nogitsune's hungers are determined by those who call them.

Like noshiko called one for fear, chaos and pain.

Maybe someone else would call one for plague-like reasons.

Maybe one is more of a burn it all type.

Maybe the foxes that are called are determined by who calls them.

Not like kira who was born by human ways.

But like noshiko coulda been called down by someone who had lost a kid or had a bunch of miscarriages n wanted to have a child.

One they wouldn't have to fear losing to death

Thunder kitsune level under celestial but related cuz made w human 'lesser' being

If had made kitsune with other celestial, woulda been celestial kira

Sooo what IF... Nogi was seen differently/understood

Fox: mischievous n clever n playful trickster rite?

But even tho they say he was the absurd age he was...

They also said kiras mom made him or summoned him or whatever rite?

So what if the way he was back at the camp and as voidstiles wasn't his natural behavior??

Im seeing a couple possibilities. It could be the WAY she did whatever corrupted or cursed or altered him. (My fave theory so far)

Or she had summoned him one way at the camp, and he woulda been back to himself when released later but absorbed all the negative/polluted magic while trapped?

Maybe by accident or maybe someone set it up that way

And the way he reacted seems rather self protective and kinda pissed off at the hand hes dealt while infected with dirty magic?

Or negative magic that clouds his thoughts or whatev?

So maybe he was trying to keep stiles safe and whole in the only way he could, with that white room?Maybe he needed stiles to figure it out n fix it? Its not like deaton wouldve if he was a reason for it.

And maybe the ones he killed he saw something in them that needed to die? Either because they were bad/evil or because the negative magic felt a threat from something in them?

If it was that he got tainted with the icky magic, maybe thats deaton related?

Like deaton felt the magic/power at the nemeton n thot that's where it came from but he was using nogi as a filter?

Like laundering money but filtering n 'cleaning' magic?

The stump gained further power when Scott, Stiles Stilinski, and Allison Argent performed a druid ritual to locate their parents.

The three students' sacrificial "deaths" fully charged the Nemeton and it is now broadcasting at full power to all the supernatural elements within the Teen Wolf Universe.

In More Bad Than Good, someone pulls out a freshly grown piece of the tree which causes fireflies to form into humanoid beings.

Noshiko Yukimura reveals that the ritual done by Scott, Stiles, and Allison did to power up the Nemeton also released the Nogitsune she had imprisoned there. (The Fox and the Wolf) 

Noshiko lied about their deaths powering up Nemeton

Doesn't make sense, as doesn't seem to have gotten any more powerful

Dr. Valack also explained that recharging the Nemeton also brought the Dread Doctors to Beacon Hills.

---

The Triskelion Box: Wood cut from the tree and objects made of that wood still retain some of the Nemeton's power.

Deaton used wood from the Nemeton to fashion a wooden jar, a cylindrical box, to hold Talia Hale's claws.

further proof he murdered the nemeton for his own gain

If Nemeton had actually been corrupt/needed cut down (even for natural reasons such as rot-tho pretty sure magic would keep healthy), you would NOT make magic powerful containers from it

At some point after that, the box fell into the hands of The Calaveras.

Derek, Peter, and Braeden find it hidden in a large chest made of Mountain Ash and filled with sawdust from the same type tree.

It is clearly stored in such a way as to keep supernatural creatures out.

The top of the cylinder is decorated with a carving of the triskelion (or Triskele) symbol, a popular werewolf symbol.

Inside there are five circular recesses, at the time of its discovery each held a single werewolf claw. (More Bad Than Good)

The box seems designed to be used to apply the claws as well.

Each claw sits in its own recess and when Peter's hand is jammed inside - it lines up perfectly to embed the claws under his own.

Because of the residual power, the box is used to contain the Nogitsune spirit in its housefly form. (The Divine Move)

---

So noshiko appears young in glashbacks rite? Then older during the show.

Ppl seem to think its weird but i think its cuz she had kira.

Similar to malias bio mom, power or something supernatural happens when they give life to a new supernatural creature

Like injuries that age them

Noshiko a liar 'fox n wolf don't get along'

her bestie was satomi.

She's almost as old as nogi and yet thought she could be possessed?

but if cant possess a werewolf then he cant possess her cuz shes a fox

Doesn't make sense

Had to be a human or non-shift/non-animal supe.

She woulda known that if she knew enuf to summon him

An oni is a kind of yōkai, demon, orc, ogre, or troll in Japanese folklore. Oni are mostly known for their fierce and evil nature manifested in their propensity for murder and cannibalism. Notwithstanding their evil reputation, oni possess intriguingly complex aspects that cannot be brushed away simply as evil. They are typically portrayed as hulking figures with one or more horns growing out of their heads.[2] Stereotypically, they are conceived of as red, blue, black, yellow, or white-colored, wearing loincloths of tiger pelt, and carrying iron kanabō clubs.[2] They are creatures which instill fear and feelings of danger due to their grotesque outward appearance, their wild and sometimes strange behavior and their powers.

They are predominantly male but can be female. Females becoming oni has been attributed to them being overcome with grief or jealousy.

Noshiko n nogi half siblings. He oni prince by parentage. She lesser creature by her parentage. But she has tails, able to call upon oni. Would know the secrets of how to steal his spark.

Plus why call specifically for possession of a 'demon'? Its not like she had never been in that type of sitch before in her almost 1000 yrs because humans are utter assholes.

And she didn't ever fall so hard in lurve before that at her age?

Also? Zero to defcon 100 million? Really?! 

Yes instinct is to survive, but human is supposed to only be a form she takes.

So she woulda been okay.

Plus, u dont automatically bring possession by a demon as ur go-to.

Oh and since she n satomi couldn't n didn't ward the Nogitsune, how did she know he was released?

Its not like the kitsunes are all magically lojacked to each other, which wouldn't matter anyway because he stayed in bh.

So did Deaton tell her he let him out?

Or did she realize how long he could be held for? 

His spark was dimmed n it brightened when he escaped?

Or it moved towards his direction?

And she was scared of him n scared to fight him. Why? Shes almost as old as him n they both in human form.

If u only have 9 tails and takes u more than 1000 yrs to get them (her box of tails only about half full) then why would u use up 2 at the beginning of a problem, especially to only get 4 oni

Plus the fact that all other kitsune seem to be both good n bad, so why wouldn't nogi?

There cant be a purely bad entity without there being a totally good entity.

Nature (even supernatural) doesn't work that way.

There is a balance.

Equal and opposite.

And we only have HER word she is celestial/heaven kitsune, which humans equate to good.

She didn't display much good tho soooo...

---

Claudia had magic

Her FTD a result of being born or newborn when Nemeton cut down?

1977 when cut down

Sheriff did 2 tours n was army ranger? I think?

They say his bday 65/75

1965 would mean he was 11 or 12 yrs older than her, but he seems guy who would've waited yo be older n settled before marriage/kids

Also works with the abuse he suffered. Lots of abused don't want kids or not sure they do

Def went to college after army tho

Is where/when met Claudia

She woulda been legal (if barely) when she n sheriff met n married

Then 26 when died, when stiles 7? 8?

It reached out and her gift activated

But it also damaged her n caused FTD or what looked like it. Whichever.

Maybe her power was linked to it? 

OR, when we think of how the nemeton reached out for stiles, it reached out for claudia, and in draining her magic or tainting her magic somehow (maybe because she didnt know she had magic) thems the results.

Claudia's "disease" and then death, and then the fire.

Would also explain why sheriff (deputy at the time)wouldn't look into fire further. Distracted by grief n drowning his sorrows

Unfortunately, FTD is also associated with a shorter lifespan. Average life expectancy is 7 to 13 years after the start of symptoms.

So its likely she already had symptoms when they met n he just thought of as quirks or never actually realized the difference cuz didn't know her before symptoms

According to the Sheriff in Alpha Pact, she died 8 years ago.

According to the file seen in Silverfinger, she died in 2004.

These two combined don't match up with the fact that it was still the autumn of 2011 in Beacon Hills when this information was provided.

If she had died at midnight on January 1st 2004 it would be just 7 years, 9 months at the time the Sheriff was talking to Melissa McCall and Chris Argent under the Nemeton.

+++(altho maybe sheriff rounded the time up, and maybe is why stiles was so eager to go out n look for body that night...was around that time)

We’re going with Claudia’s death happening roughly seven years before the events of Season 3, placing it sometime in 2004.

She died after suffering from frontotemporal dementia.

According to the Sheriff in Alpha Pact, she was hospitalized and Stiles was with her when she died.

According to the file seen in Silverfinger, she was suffering symptoms similar to those her son was experiencing during the first half of Season 3(b).

In Riddled - Stiles explains that she suffered from frontotemporal dementia, a shrinkage of the brain that leads to dementia and death.

If noah conjured claudia, does mean he has magic too?

Just unaware?

Maybe is part of reason his dad was alcoholic too? Magic they didn't know about n it had negative effects

Would also explain stiles' adhd if wanted to

Natalie (Lydia's mom) n Claudia bffs in school?

Claudia Gajos, the daughter of Mieczysław Gajos and an unnamed mother, who attended Beacon Hills High School in the same class as Natalie Martin. ("Relics")

She met Noah Stilinski and was engaged to him while they were still in college.

In 1995, they gave birth to a son, named after her own father and nicknamed Stiles after Stilinski's father, Elias Stilinski. ("Sundowning")

However, in 2003, Claudia was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia, a fatal disease that caused her perception of reality deteriorate rapidly.

She soon began suffering from insomnia, an inability to distinguish dreams from reality, sleepwalking, sleep paralysis, irritability, and paranoia.

STILES--Claudia had gift.

Foresight?

Got sick, still got visions.

Saw stiles as nogitsune in future.

Is also why didn't always recognize him

This put a great deal of strain on both Claudia herself and her husband and son, especially when the dementia caused her to believe Stiles was trying to kill her. ("Required Reading")

What if claudia n the sheriff weren't on best of terms?

FTD has early symptoms years ahead of diagnosis rite?

And they are often wrongly called by other names til eventually they figure it out.

It can be pure forgetfulness, which can be a hundred tiny annoyances piling up.

Mood swings which are annoying and stressful.

And lead yo a diagnosis of bipolar, which is SO OFTEN a death knell for a relationship.

So it makes sense stiles was only kid.

Besides the fact that it turns out folks with higher iq scores tend to have fewer kids

Makes sense for them to have had him 1st and then all this comes more and more prevalent b4 they r ready to have 2nd, if theyd wanted. Which i kinda feel they wouldve.

So maybe they were on the outs, maybe considering splitting, maybe just going thru several rough times. Whatev. I mean, stiles doesn't get his ignore prob yil goes away from nobody.

And noah didn't go yo hospital when he was told to. Yeah, maybe he coulda pushed it away or vlown it off, but he also would've likely accepted it as a possibility and reacted, especially when his reaction to supernatural reveal is considered. 

It would also be another reason he would hit the bottle so hard.

Anger n guilt n frustration, along with grief n love.

All of that is more than enuf to drown out his kids needs.

Plus hes such a reminder.

Especially if he had found solace in the rough times by working more. So it had already become a coping mechanism.

She ended up dying in 2004 with her young son Stiles at her bedside while her husband, Stilinski, was dealing with a car accident victim at work; though the victim, a Banshee, warned Noah that he needed to leave right then if he wanted to be with her when she passed, he was a skeptic about the supernatural at this time and guessed that she was just delirious.

When he returned to the hospital, he found Stiles sitting in the hallway with his face in his hands, indicating that Claudia had in face died while he was at the crash site, just as the Banshee had predicted. ("Alpha Pact")

Stiles was 8 when she died

That hallucination of him accusing stiles coulda been all made up by stiles being so young n all the feels involved.

Or something that happened where Sheriff misplaced the blame he felt onto stiles cuz he couldn't face his own overwhelming feels.

Or a combo of the two.

It could explain why took him so long to move on. Also why he froze everything pertaining to claudia. Also why he holds her as perfect, tho she wasn't. 

Stiles would've seen her as a little kid sees their parent. Perfect and amazing. So not reliable.

And that sheriff had that version of claudia dreamed up when stiles was forgotten?

Especially when u remember most ppl r not perfect, even when they r dead n u dont wanna talk smack about em or u miss em.

---

Magic Stiles:

Ohheytherebigbadwolf--

They let him play with mountain ash one (1) time and then DROPPED IT AND I'M SO SALTY.

HE MADE A 50 FOOT LINE WITH BARELY A HANDFUL.

HE BROKE THE LINE WITHOUT EVEN TOUCHING IT.

Me--

Cuz he showed up WEREWOLVES by being cooler and more badass than they were when he was "just" a human. Now he can flex a magical Spark muscle based on *belief*?! Yeah, naw. They could not allow that to be followed through because obviously Stiles would have whooped the ass of whatever stupidfuck monster came by to fuck with HIS pack and HIS town... aaannnddd stoopid-dead-but-dont-know-it-yet said *what* about his boo and his dad? Smirking Stiles has 2 words for you: "Let's play." After all, have baseball bat and attitude, will travel.

Let's face some reality. Stiles believes he can protect all these supernats he has claimed as his...and He Does. He believes he can surpass human requirements for sleep and caffeine and superbraining with his fuckton sexy brain...and. He. DOES.

Do not doubt the Stiles. The writers Knew. Stiles woulda whipped the monsters and the town and the nemeton and the werewolves into shape and Derek woulda had no choice but to be Even More Blatant about his desperate NEED for some Stiles-lurve. God damn but I miss what an amazing damned show that would've been.

Stiles: This character is a f*king angel.

Sometimes comforting.

Sometimes protective.

Sometimes avenging.

Always beautiful.

Always luminous.

Always knows how to save your ass after he leads you to temptation.

Built completely out of "you may not understand my morals, but if you are Mine, you will always benefit from them."

Stiles is the person who will stand up to derek and argue and then immediately turn around and fling himself in front of the wolf without hesitation to save him

Also: i know what the stiles triplets would be nicknamed. Mischief menace n trouble

Further proof stiles is a supe? When he was forgotten he and peter and 1 other person (prolly another supe) weren't mindless zombies like everyone else

Paige n stiles related? Via Claudia? A cousin? Paige supe is why rejected?

[kadssp]

MY FACE IS ON FIRE RN I LOOK LIKE BOB THE TOMATO IM SCARED BUT OKAY-

Imagine vampire Will,, please just hear me out-

He kills the kids not just bc he's insane but bc he also needs to drink blood and kids are an easy target. And his business is the perfect opportunity to get good food. Ppl get really scared of the place when multiple bodies are found with two puncture wounds in their necks and nearly drained of all the blood but people still keep coming because there's no where else to drop their kids off at during the day. Will is good at covering his tracks and blending in too; him not following all of the old legends that vamps cant be in sunlight and don't have reflections.

You're probably one of his employees,, from the very first day you came to work he can smell how tasty your blood would be. It awakens something deep and primordial within him. AND you're quite cute as well. When he looks at you he can feel all his predatory instincts going off. The need to hunt and protect. Fortunately for him you seem to find him handsome, but youre shy. Not willing to initiate anything with an older man nor with an older man who's also your boss. That's fine. He doesn't mind luring you in. He finds it cute the way you blush when he compliments you. And the smell of your heated blood under the skin of your cheeks makes him hard. He's gonna have so much fun with his new little plaything once he has you.

Unfortunately for him though, you're smart. A clever little bunny. You soon enough suspect him of his crimes. You don't wanna believe it, but your suspicions are confirmed when he asks you to work after hours one night. He takes you into the parts and services closet and grabs your waist from behind with one hand, the other wrapped around your neck. You're blushing as he tilts your head to the side so all of your pretty neck is exposed to him. It's hard for him ro control himself. But, he doesn't want to scare you. Not too much, anyway. Not enough for you to run, but enough to get you going.

That's when he proposes a deal, whispering into your ear.

"My my, it looks like I've finally gotten you, little bunny. Shh shh, don't squirm. I promise I'm not going to hurt you too much... Good. Good little one. Darling I'm finding it quite hard to restrain myself, so how about we cut to the chase, hm? You're correct. All of your suspicions and thoughts up in that pretty head of yours are correct. I am what you think I am... Oh? Does that excite you? I can feel you heating up, bunny. Naughty bunny. I suppose thay means my suspicions are correct too. You want me. Even now after you know the truth. Don't you? Dirty girl. I see the way you look at me. All while you're at work in my restaurant. Who knew my bunny could be such a slut. How about a trade then, hm? If you'll allow me to take all of what I want from you, I'll give you all of what you want from me as well. Again and again. You'll belong to me, bunny. And no one else. For as long as you live. How does that sound, pretty girl?"

Bye throwing my phone across the room now bc i feel like i embarrassed myself,,

-🍨 anon

I THREW MY PHONE AFTER READING THIS BECAUSE I GOT EMBARRASSED ABOUT THINKING OF VAMPIRE!WILLIAM SO WE’RE BOTH FUCKED

he has a dark grin on his face at the fear in your eyes after he proposes the deal to you, fangs peeking into view in the dimly lit closet and you’re not left with much of a choice now that you know what he truly is. you either agree or become his next meal (though he threatens that on you. he’d just simply kidnap you if you resisted) so being the smart bunny that you are you shakily agree, swallowing the lump that formed in your throat and he hums in approval, leading you out and to his car with a pleased smile as if you weren’t just shoved into a closet and almost bitten by the older man who you still strangely found attractive. almost even more so now that your suspicions had been confirmed but why? humans lived to fear vampires, to try and get rid of them if it were possible nowadays and to stay as far away from any you suspected was one, so if you were raised to despise these creatures why did the idea of william being one excite you? why did it light a small flame in the pit of your stomach knowing he was a monster, the very man driving you to what you assumed was his house with a big hand squeezing your inner thigh. you might even feel conflicted knowing part of you felt safe around such a beast as him, that part of you wanted him knowing he’s a vampire. you could only hope he wouldn’t drain all the blood from your body anytime soon when he parked in his driveway.

[zontiky]

okay so i tried to save this ask as a draft and it got deleted because tumblr is just such a functional website like that <3 but the prompt was “the hargreeves as ghosts in the apocalypse with five” or something like that i’m going to scream

this is SUPER long so i’m putting it under the cut hfkjsd

pre-five: the hargreeves siblings are dead. wait i feel a drabble coming on ooh

The Hargreeves siblings are dead.

Ben isn’t very aware of this at first. He’s been dead since 2006 -- he’s quite used to it, by now. What he is aware of, first, is light. Blinding white light. And Vanya, in the middle of it. He doesn’t close his eyes because he can’t feel pain, but if he could he thinks she would have made him blind. There’s light, and heat, and power, and then he closes his eyes anyway because the ceiling is collapsing around him and it’s instinctual.

When he opens them again he sees ash. Ash -- and Klaus.

He’s gotten used to Klaus, too. Klaus has a memorable sort of face; even if he didn’t, Ben has seen it every single day for almost twenty years. He doesn’t know if it’s actually been twenty years, for him. He doesn’t know how time moves for ghosts. Klaus has assured him it moves the same as it does for the living. Ben isn’t sure Klaus, stoned out of his mind, bleeding sluggishly from his arm, knew what he was talking about.

Anyway.

Klaus.

He’s wearing the coat he’s been flaunting around for the past week. His shirt is see-through, with little stars on it, like a pale imitation of the sky. Ben remembers his pants had laces on them, he’s sure they did not a minute ago, before the brightness that threatened to wipe out his very soul -- his soul is all he has left, really. His gaze drifts down anyway, to check.

Yes. Klaus’ pants have laces up the sides.

“No,” Ben says. Klaus is laying in a heap on the ground, his fingers curled like his tendons have been cut.

His lips feel numb because they always feel numb. Because Ben can’t feel at all. He takes a step. “No,” he says again, louder, surer. “No!”

Klaus looks up at him. His makeup is smudged, like it tends to be. His lips are bitten raw, like they tend to be. His hair is a mess, like it tends to be, and like it will be, always, because Klaus isn’t breathing.

Klaus is lying in a heap on the ground. Klaus is standing above his own body. Klaus is reaching for Ben like he’s hoping to touch him for the first time in years. Just when Klaus’ cold, dead, fingers brush his face, a voice from behind says, so quietly, dripping with disbelief: “Ben?”

Ben shuts his eyes and wishes desperately he could cry.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, for the first time in so, so long, but he also doesn’t feel it at all. He feels-but-doesn’t-feel someone turn him around, until they are saying, “Ben? Ben!” and he has no choice but to open his eyes and face the music.

Diego is gripping his shoulders like he is a dying man and Ben is the answer. Behind him, Luther and Allison watch them, stunned silent. Allison’s hands are pressed to her mouth. She looks like she wants to cry. 

And Vanya. Little Vanya, painted white. Her head is hung as her shoulders shake with the weight of the destruction she has so inevitably caused. (Ben would say he always knew she was destined for great things -- but he can’t, because he didn’t.) (Nobody ever said great things had to be good.)

The Hargreeves siblings are dead. Their bodies are strewn across what is left of their childhood home, smouldering and burning, and Ben is very aware of that fact.

righto anyway. so they have an emotional reunion but its also kind of bitter? id have to actually write this for it to make sense so lets skip it for now lol

five shows up

he cannot see them obviously bc theyre all ghosts

god if i did write this it would be such a monster of a fic and would take me like 2 years to finish i already know fhkjdsk

somehow ?? they manage to influence the world around them maybe? idk maybe now that klaus is dead hes sober

or maybe hes high for all eternity?

for the purposes of this au lets say he died sober or in the late stages of withdrawal, and bc ghosts cant feel pain in action hes sober

so EVENTUALLY they figure out how to corporealize bc klaus is like blam wham ghost powers

asdlfk that sounds so stupid im sorry

he would say that tho imho,,, it sounds like something hed say,,,

if i DID write this it would be alternating povs also,,,

ok so out of all of them klaus and ben have the most experience homeless

and while being stuck in an apocalypse is not at all the same thing as being homeless it does help to have some knowledge

five doesnt eat the twinkie!! good for him

dammit okay. theres 2 options we can take here. in the comics five couldnt get back bc he fucked up his math and spent 15 years doing the wrong thing, but if u apply that here, with 6 other ppl checking his work this could be avoided and they end up skipping the whole assassin shtick and just hopping straight back to 2019, ready to prevent the apocalypse

OR five still gets hired for the commission but the sibs are tagging along

i think bc five isnt completely alone in this au unfortunately dolores doesnt exist :((

for each other the 2 paths tho theres also options?? bc they (ghosts) can go back in time and inhabit their past selves bodies? OR they could just,,, cease to exist

IM JUST NOW REALIZING HOW MANY PATHS THIS COULD TAKE,, AAH FUCK

okay gonna split this into parts. this is gonna be so long brace yourselves.

1) they go back in time because math checking and the ghosts swap out for their past selves

after multiple years of being stuck in an apocalypse together i think they would learn to get along with each other. like at least a little bit

which would make it easier for them to prevent the apocalypse

bc theyd:

trust each other more

already know abt the apocalypse and not have to wait for five to grace them all with his knowledge

are working as a team from the very beginning

have open lines of communication

yeah uh. so there

vanya is also already aware of her powers so the whole harold goading her into turning against her family and snapping to wipe out all life on earth thing? yeah that doesnt happen

oh and harold wouldn’t know how to do that in the first place because klaus wouldn’t throw out reggie’s journal! this solves so many problems wtf

there’s still commission issues bc they (and by they i mean five) are on the commission’s radar

so there’s still dope fight scenes sdlkfd pinky promise

okay idk. they stop the apocalypse and everything is okay the end hfkjd

2) they fix the math but only five can go back and the ghosts cease to exist

this is just sad! it would be sad okay! im sad! lets move on

subset of the past one: ben CAN go back with five because he was already dead and time travel affects them differently or something idk

aaaaaa

five & ben dynamic duo would be dope as shit BUT five would not be able to see him... so they use klaus as a middleman fjsdsfd

is there 2 bens? is one ben deleted in favor of the time-traveling ben? i dont know! i dont know my brain is melting

either way shit is happening yall!! obviously klaus is clued in, directly or indirectly it doesnt matter but he is on board the ‘don’t let the entire world end in flames’ train

3) they join the commission and then when five goes back in time they all go back

this is fun because now five is a highly trained assassin who is also lowkey a complete marshmallow for his siblings and once again TEAMWORK WOO

basically the first path but now five has a gun fhsdjk

4) they join the commission but five has to leave them behind and they cease to exist

five with a gun but hes sad now

i didnt go into how much losing his siblings would suck in the prev path but like. it would suck so much. he’s already lost them once if you think about it when he time traveled the first time and yeah he found the adult ghost versions but,, its different

and now suddenly hes stuck with these strange adult versions of the people he knows and he KNOWS them but also he doesnt? at all? they dont have all the years of shared experiences together? and theyre all grown up from the first ‘set’ of siblings he had which for five was like 40+ years ago??

SCREAMS

i have losing my mind disease (self-diagnosed)

subset: five has to leave them behind but they still exist because the commission is out-of-time kind of? idk but they’re still floating around somewhere and come back to impact the plot later or something

yeah idk. literally just wrote them down bc i didnt want them to die^2 hfkjwehd

subset: they still exist but instead of being just Somewhere they’re specifically at the assassination of JFK onwards because thats where five left them and they either go on ghosting and make an appearance in s2 OR they cease because them-wise they havent died yet but that doesnt make sense because ghosts can time travel so nevermind

i dont have the brain energy left to explore this one aaaa

okay jesus christ i think that’s all

I DON’T KNOW. i don’t know. i might write some more of this because honestly it is a very fine flavor of angst + hurt/comfort <3

[wri0thesley]

unfortunately i wrote sorbet n gelato cockwarming because the self ship server is just a fucking. ENABLER HAVEN. i blame @purplehazescape for this mostly 

warnings: NOT SFW afab reader, neutral pronouns aside from italian terms (troia/puttana/amore) reader wears a skirt. slurs. threat of death. knives. blood. public play. bringing ppl into your kink without consent. i dont know how to explain this dynamic im just . . . bro im just horny

“What? You don’t think you can take it?” Gelato leans over in front of you, chucking your chin, grin playing about his own mouth (you see the flash of sharp teeth - you’ve always wondered if they’re naturally like that, or if Gelato is simply fucked up enough to have gotten it done cosmetically). “Amore, if I’m going to have to give up my seat to you--”

“If you know what’s good for you,” Sorbet intones, and the bigger man’s hands are suddenly settling either side of your hips, heavy and warm. “You’ll take it.”

You shiver. You wet your lips.

“What will you do to me if I can’t?” You ask, your voice soft, your lashes lowered - and Gelato throws his head back and laughs that wild iron-grate-see-saw laugh of his, that you by all accounts should hate but still sends a thrill through you. You know him well enough to tell his laugh of amusement and his laugh of anger and frustration apart by now, and you - lucky you - always seem to manage to err on the side of entertainment. 

“Best you don’t find that out, hmm?” Sorbet’s breath is warm against your neck. 

Gelato moves across the room, cat-like, delicately considering the other options of places he can sit - but through it all, his dark eyes do not move from you and Sorbet.

“I want to watch,” Gelato breathes, as he eventually perches on the side of Risotto’s favourite armchair. “I want to see them take you, Sorbetto--”

The sing-song tone of Gelato’s voice as he uses the pet name sends another pleased shiver through your body, as does the hungry way that Gelato’s gaze rests on both of you. Sorbet’s hands travel over your hips, pausing to rest on your thighs, hot fingertips digging into soft flesh as he flips up the skirt (chosen this morning just for this purpose, because Sorbet had leaned over you in the wardrobe and thrust it into your hands, telling you ‘You’ll want this’). After they’d made their request - no, perhaps order is a better word - you’d been grateful that they’d thought ahead. 

“You’re already ready for me, puttana,” Sorbet hisses, and he roughly digs his painted nails into your flesh to turn you slightly towards Gelato and Gelato’s hungry, hungry eyes. “See, Gelatino?”

“Shameless,” Gelato breathes, his eyes raking over the damp spot on your underwear, even as you try fruitlessly to press your thighs together and hide your shame. “It’s a good job Sorbet’s taking pity on you, troia. If you weren’t filled up, who knows who else you’d go begging for cock--”

The noise that escapes your own throat is a low needy whine, as Sorbet’s fingers move and gently rub at your slit through the underwear, the fabric rapidly dampening. 

“You’re so easy,” Gelato continues, his eyes not leaving you for a moment. “We give you a scrap of attention and you’re like a fucking puppy dog, brazen little whore--”

“He’s right, you know,” Sorbet growls, and you hear the elastic in your underwear snap and wonder why you even bother wearing it with these two around. “Only a whore would let us use them like this. Only a whore would spread their legs and sit there right in front of everyone else on their team with one of their lovers’ cocks buried inside them--”

Breathlessly, you whisper;

“W-who said I was going to just let you?”

It’s like a switch being pulled. Sorbet is dragging you backwards, hands knit in your hair, teeth sinking into your neck at the same time as Gelato is moving across the room lightning-fast, pressing himself so close to you that you feel the heavy heat of his cock in military fatigues pressing against your thigh - and something metal and sharp pressing against your other. The moan-whimper dies in your throat as Gelato drags the knife up your body, nicking the shirt you’re wearing just a little, knife tip pressing against your clavicle. 

“It would be so quick,” Gelato reminds you - you never know whether his threats are empty or not, and that’s what has your heart hammering and breath catching and underwear soaking. “If you aren’t good for us . . . amore, you’d hardly be the first toy we’ve broken--”

Sorbet’s teeth, dragging along your flesh, and your moan is strangled. Sorbet himself huffs laughter into the shell of your ear, breath hot. His cock digs hard into your ass. 

“You’re lucky we like you,” he reminds you, rasping. “Lucky you take us so well--”

Gelato moves the knife, tapping it thoughtfully for a moment against your lips, barely missing nicking your lip (bitten, bleeding lips would hardly give the rest of the team pause amongst the three of you, so you can only assume he never meant to hurt you and not that he’s teasing you). 

“Be good for Sorbet,” he reminds you. “Or the rest of the team will get to know what it is you’re doing, and we won’t like them thinking of you like that at all.”

You nod, swallowing - and you receive a dazzling smile from Gelato, practically vibrating as he takes his place back on the arm of Risotto’s chair. Sorbet is almost lazy as his other hand moves down and you hear the zip of his trousers, fingers squeezing your ass, questing to the slick lips of your sex. He snorts as he feels that you’ve just gotten wetter, despite the fact mere moments ago Gelato had a knife pressed against you - and then, you’re pulled backwards even more, and your breath hitches as the head of Sorbet’s cock brushes your entrance. 

“S-Sorbet--” you start, trying to speak, but Gelato smirks and taps his lips as you hear the faintest sounds of stirring, feet on a staircase, grumbles from the rest of your team. A spark of panic registers dull in the back of your mind, the tip of Sorbet’s cock slick and thick as his hand wraps around your middle - Sorbet is big. Sorbet’s a stretch for you to take even when the situation is favourable, an aching heat that leaves you sore for days-- “Sorbet, please, be g-gen--aah---”

You should have known the ‘please’ would get him - it always does. You should have known the minute Sorbet and Gelato sensed your panic in the air, they’d abuse it - because no sooner have you opened your mouth to beg than Sorbet has thrust up and pulled you down and ten thick inches are buried in you to the hilt, the burning stretch white hot for a moment as you cry out. Your vision is whited out, but you see Gelato across the room huff and a hand rub at the front of his fatigues, hear Sorbet’s satisfied growl into your ear whilst your body tries desperately to adjust to the new sensation--

“Oh!” That’s Formaggio’s voice, calling out your name in concern. “We heard you cry, are you o-- oh.” Your vision comes back into focus enough to see the pantomime play out - Formaggio’s brow, knit with worry, softening as he realises you’re with Sorbet and Gelato. Any cries of pain coming from this room, then, it’s generally agreed are your own fault for getting involved with the two of them. “Huh. Weird to see you not on Sorbet’s lap, Gelato.”

Your vision still feels blurry, but the ache inside you is starting to subside from a burning expanse into something more manageable. You’re aware your breathing is a little heavy, but the way Sorbet has wrapped his arms around you (both to hide the fact your stomach is probably bulging a little and to keep your clothes covering you and to keep you prostrate against him) is covering most of it. 

“They got there first,” Gelato drawls, his eyes shifting to you, crawling over your body. “So I had to give up my throne for today.” Gelato shrugs, grinning. “Maybe Risotto will let me sit on his lap.” 

“Or you could sit like a normal person on a fucking seat,” Ghiaccio grumbles, entering the room. He spares a glance at you and Sorbet - Sorbet moves one hand, lazily, to fake a wave and the way that it makes his body shift in even the slightest way has you biting your tongue to stop a moan slipping out. Sorbet doesn’t miss your trouble - he leans low against you, lips against your earlobe, and murmurs;

“Behave.”

So you do. 

You’re a little distracted, clearly, when team members greet you and all you can do is offer a weak ‘mm’ in response (it’s difficult to think of anything other than Sorbet’s cock inside you, perfectly still). Even Gelato’s teasing - which you’d usually respond to with barbed wire comments that make him grin and spark and laugh - when people ask why you’ve taken Gelato’s usual spot doesn’t manage to provoke much of a reaction from you. All you can think of is how big he is, how good it feels, that ache inside you that had been stroked when Sorbet’s fingers had dipped into your slit and the two of them had called you a slut--

You bite down hard on your lip to stop from shifting, pressing against Sorbet’s chest, whining for more stimulation. You won’t bring yourself to beg in front of the rest of the team, who think everything is normal! Though Gelato’s grin is shit-eating, you try and bite down on your lip and keep quiet. 

It’s all fine. Gelato takes Sorbet’s assignments from next to Risotto (Risotto had not, predictably, let him sit on his lap - Gelato had thrown his head back and laughed and you’d seen a genuine flash of fear in Pesci’s eyes that perhaps this was going to push Gelato’s angry switch, but the blond had remained good-natured.)

You know why Gelato had remained good-natured, of course - he’s enjoying watching your eyebrows knit and your body stay still, the flush on your cheeks and the way you’re having to count your breaths so that you don’t give the game away by panting. Sorbet, behind you, is utterly relaxed. 

Bastard. 

Sorbet’s always had patience, though - patience that you know he doesn’t get to exercise with Gelato, who has never sat still in his life. Instead, Sorbet has you to play with for his more elaborate waiting games - a night spent gagged with one of the bigger toys inside you, coming over and over again, when Gelato and Sorbet had a hit to attend to. A day when you were only allowed to say ‘yes, Master’. A day you’d spent chained and blindfolded, bent over the desk in their room - Sorbet and Gelato coming in to fuck you every so often without even announcing their presence, so it was down to the way they fucked you and the feel of their cock - wherever they decided to put it - to tell you who was in the room with you at any one time.

The daydreaming and memories get away from you, thoughts of times when you were actually being fucked instead of being made to take part in this slow torture of having something so close to you and yet utterly still swimming in your mind to mock you.

Sorbet pokes you in the stomach and you blink, pulled from your thoughts. 

Risotto is looking at you, ink and blood eyes perturbed, something held in his hand. 

Fuck.

Your assignments for the week. 

“You can fucking lean forward,” Ghiaccio grumbles. “He’s not that far away from you, and Sorbet can’t be that comfortable--”

“He’s very comfortable, believe me,” Gelato purrs at Ghiaccio, and Pesci blushes and Prosciutto clicks his tongue as if chastising a dog, tired. 

“Come on,” The latter says, his blue eyes staring hard and cold into you. “We all have places to be. Take them so we can get on with it.”

Helplessly, you look at Gelato - but no. Gelato’s grin is shit-eating as always, eyes bright. Sorbet sighs, a sound of annoyance that has everyone on hold. 

“Get them yourself, amore,” Gelato croons, his eyes not leaving you for a moment. “You’re capable of it, aren’t you?”

You don’t want to move on Sorbet’s cock, afraid of how the ridges and veins and the feeling of his shaft inside you might make your thighs jump and your composure slip - helplessly, you look from Gelato to Risotto again, but then Sorbet himself leans forward and oh my God--

You don’t realise you’ve moaned out loud, eyelids fluttering closed, breath hitching and cheeks flushing, until Illuso cackles with laughter and Prosciutto hisses;

“You have got to be kidding me--”

“In the fucking living room?”

“In front of everyone?”

“Are you really on his--”

“Jesus Christ--”

Through everyone’s groans and uncomfortable flushes and, you don’t fail to notice, sudden boners (Melone’s outfit leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination after all), one voice is unmistakable: a rusty iron gate, laughing, crowing;

“You really are shameless, aren’t you?”

Your face is burning, but Gelato’s is triumphant and pleased.

Oh, you’re going to get in so much trouble for this. 

[szopenhauer]

When was the last time you cried and what was the reason?: family issues

Do you believe in ghosts?: maybe

If you could live on the moon, would you?: almost all of it belongs to Tom Cruise so no 

What is your favorite time in history to learn about?: I just like many interesting history facts in general

When is the last time you felt discriminated against because of your gender?: not sure which situation was last

What race are you?: caucasian, white, european, polish, slavic

What is your favorite sex position?: I’m not into sex tbh Have you ever lost your SO to another person?: yup

Have you ever had a thing for a friend’s parent?: no

Have you ever believed in Santa Clause? from what I remember

Have you ever thought you were getting a surprise party, but you really weren’t? nah and I don’t like surprises so I’m glad I never really had a party like this

Have you ever forgotten someone’s birthday? I suck with dates

Has a friend looked bad in a profile picture and you didn’t tell her? it was my opinion but if they liked their pic then it’s their problem

Does it take forever for your internet to load websites? sometimes

Have you ever pretended to listen to someone but you really weren’t? yeah :x

Are you a bad driver, or do you know someone that is? I know some that are bad yet say they’re oh so awesome at it ugh!

Have you seen the animated movies Tarzan? sure

Have you actually called 911 for an actual emergency? If so, what was the emergency? not me but my parents

Do you sleep in the living room a lot? I never do

Did you enjoy watching The Flintstone’s growing up? yep

Do you wish you were born in a different year? kinda wish I was born after war and die before 2020 or even live in another time period 

What do you buy more: Movies or candy? neither

Did you used to eat chapstick when you were younger? ewww, noooo, not even toothpaste

What made you pick up the last book you started reading? I was watching a movie and heard that book has a different ending so I had to see for myself Have you received any bad or troubling news lately? shitload When was the last time you were relieved about something? I wish I was... What about your life concerns you the most? my health related issues mostly but also money and fam, love life, religion etc. Is there a common thing most people seem to do without trouble, but it scares you (talking on the phone, driving, interviews, etc)? When was the last time you had to do one of these kinds of things? there are, recently

Describe a time when you were there for a friend? were there in person? When was the last time you went somewhere for the first time? days or weeks ago What is a situation that makes you feel especially confident? umm... Hypothetically and generally speaking, how would you go about breaking up with someone? Is there anything you would make sure to say, or perhaps not say? depends Would you say you’re easy or difficult to offend? I guess I’m easily offended Is there a belief you have that most others around you don’t have? Do you share this belief with others, or do you tend to keep it to yourself?  sure, might talk about it if asked and in the mood  If you’ve moved out from home, what was the scariest thing about it? What was/is your favorite thing about it? I didn’t move out yet but there are dark scenarios I imagine that could happen and they concern me What are your thoughts on “forgiving” murderers or rapists? Do you think it’s even possible to forgive these people? I wouldn’t forgive a rapist but particular murders can be justified If you could learn about anything without the stress of grades or cost, what kind of classes would you take? who cares about grades and cost when you have no possibility/talent/ability anyway?... Last item of clothing you purchased - do you wear it often? didn’t wear it yet Has anything made you feel nostalgic lately? lots What was the last chore you completed? I just helped mom around kitchen and bathroom - przynieś/podaj itp.

Which of the Seven Deadly Sins do you commit the most? sloth?

Has anyone ever told you that you’re incapable of whispering? nope, my mom is incapable, she whispers louder than when she’s normally talking to someone

Who was the best kisser you’ve ever dated? I’ve only kissed one person in my entire life

When was the last time you watched a YouTube video? yesterday

this one

and I plan on doing smth similar

Do you personally think Wikipedia is a reliable source? one of the most reliable sources that are available for free

When you were a child, did you ever want to become a wizard/witch? meh

Do you want to repaint your walls? I prefer to move out 

Would you rather have hardwood floors or carpet? hardwood

Who would you say is the most selfish person you know? majority of society

Have you ever made out in a movie theater before? waste of the movie

How old were you when you got to go on your first date? dunno what I can count as one

Would you call your parents over-protective or under-protective? weirdly protective

Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls? never had a chance to

Has anyone ever called you a good kisser before? I had my moment

Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other? she’s into men so...

Do you know someone who cares about themselves more than their child? it seems that most of parents act this way

What’s your favorite hairstyle you’ve had so far? hmm...

How many dogs do you have, if any at all? 1

Do you think biting is weird or sexy? biting hard is very dangerous and I’m not into being bitten but I might/can bite a little

Would you rather be called hot or beautiful? neither but I'll “believe” slightly more in being beautiful than hot I think

Have you ever had a pet turtle before? yep

Do you still sleep with your parents when you’re scared sometimes? just once I had a bad night and my dad was working overnight so I went to my mom’s bed but then I left in the middle of the night anyway as she was snoring, not that it usually bothers me 

Have you ever met someone with two different color eyes? saw pics on the internet only

How many surveys on average would you say you’ve done in your lifetime? shitload

Do you enjoy going school shopping? tiny bit as I enjoy shopping in general?

Do you think Pug dogs are adorable or just plain ugly? adorable

Have you ever met someone who completely resembled their pet? lookalikes

Has anyone ever knitted you something before? sure

Do you think there is a soulmate out there for everyone? then why some ppl die single?...

Do you like short or long surveys the best? it’s not about length, I need interesting questions

Have you ever bought fake money and tried to make it pass for real? I didn’t try to make it pas for real wtf

Are your siblings nice the majority of the time? *rolling my eyes*

How many uncles do you have? don’t know nor care as they don’t give a shit about me

Do you freak out when a thunderstorm comes along? nah, sometimes I feel physically bad because of it tho

How often do you shower? basically everyday

What is the absolute worst thing about high school? from my personal experience - stress

How many sodas do you usually drink in one day? I don’t drink soda for years

Have you ever met an annorexic pregnant woman? woah I can’t imagine that

Have you ever simply looked at someone & could tell they were homosexual? oh well...

Do you have the ability to read someone without even knowing them? sometimes

Would you rather eat or sleep? sleep

Are you one of those die hard Twilight or Harry Potter fans? am not, especially Twilight - I didn’t read/watch it because it sounds awful

Have you ever cried while watching a movie trailor? yes 

Have you ever learned that someone had lied to you all along? sadly

When was the last time you had a physical injury? this ending week

Have you ever wanted to be a lawyer? not really

Have you ever had to bail someone out of jail before? nope

Is there anyone in your imediate family who was adopted? no

Do you know anyone who doesn’t have any common sense? I meet many ppl like this often on the streets or online

Do you think you look anything like your parents? I know I do

Who is the skinniest person you know? Is it because of a disease? when it comes to look or weight? disease though

Is this year the best one you’ve had so far? r u joking?...

What color is your significant other’s hair? natural or dye? XD

Are you ashamed of anyone in your family? yeah The best Christmas gift you ever gotten? The sims 2 as I dreamed of it and didn’t expect my poor parents will afford and give it to me ever, I was so moved that I cried and my sister was jealous and angry 

Who is your favorite actor or actress? can’t decide

What is cuter: kisses on the forehead of the cheek? I don’t consider them cute when I receive them but kind of awkward actually but giving them is a different story

Do you believe in evolution or creation? smth in between, it’s complicated 

What group would you say you’d normally fit into the most? I feel that I wouldn’t really fit any

Are you better at drawing things or painting? drawing

Have either of your parents ever called you a failure before? I am a failure

How long have you been on the computer right now? too long, about 6 hours Name three black things that you can see? celphone, pendrive, necklace would you perfer to do the dishes or hang washing/laundry? dishes

[mypleasurepost-blog]

Episode 1 TT’s Encounter

You ever met somebody that you instantly didn’t get along with? Somebody you automatically sense attitude and issues with? Well this is a story about “TT” and how we went from ppl who wouldn’t even make eye contact to tongue kissing and confessing our deepest and darkest sexual fantasies to one another......it all started about 3 years ago give or take. This beautiful and thick lady named “TT” started to work at this this company with me and we didn’t work in the same areas or depts but we would cross paths from time to time. I’m not really one to go outta my way to speak or say hello so we would walk right by one another all the time and not speak a word. Later on down the line we would occasionally speak but nothing to serious and nothing really worth talking about. One day “TT” started dealing with a friend but not knowing I always thought she was pretty and sexy as fuk but we just didn’t mesh well. I have seen her only a few times outside of work but every time I have seen her I have found my eyes wondering not that she ever noticed but whatever no biggie. So back to the story after seeing her from time to time and being around her I started to check her out more and more. From the golden brown skin to the silky curly hair. She was just an all around nice looking female. Btw I am taken and she knows it so I figured she would never even pay me any mind so I kept everything to myself. But i couldn’t help but notice how her ass sits so perfectly in all of her clothes. I used to have thought of maybe how she would feel and how she would taste but again all those thoughts remained to myself seeing as tho we both had conflicting histories. After getting somewhat more comfortable with one another we started to communicate a little more here and there and topics would get more interesting and more intense. I would go home think about her get my dick hard and jerk off some of the best nuts ever just to the thought of doing the most nasty things to her and nobody would ever know. Thoughts of kissing, touching, fucking, biting and everything else would cross my mind literally all the time just from seeing her......

So back to the story....Me and “TT” over time and working within one another seemed to be getting somewhat closer but still not to the point I would try to make any advances on her. But those crazy thoughts would continue to run through my head. She never would show or hint that she had any interest but I wanted to maybe show her how I was feeling and took a shot in the dark. One morning I woke up she popped in my head and my dick instantly got hard vein thick as hell and standing at attention. I took a pic and decided to make a risk and send it to her. At this point this could have gone one of two ways....either she will greet it with a smile and interest or a complete crash, burn and possibly ruin everything we had built up to this point. But what’s life without risk for pleasure? I sent it to her and waited hesitantly on a response. She responded and seemed somewhat surprised that I sent her the pic. She didn’t react in a bad way but she also didn’t give me the lustful responses I was looking for. So I saw her in the halls later that day everything seemed and went normal like it generally does. Next day I stepped it up a notch...i stroked my dick just thinking about her hands rubbing and touching me. Imagined me grabbing her hair and putting her face in my lap while she sucks and chokes on my dick in pure excitement and enjoyment. I imagined her letting me have my way with her and touching every inch of her body, kissing her neck, grabbing her pussy, squeezing her tits just anything to make my nut as big as messy as possible so I could show her. And finally I cum I send her the video of the mess she helped me create in my head. She responds a little more excited but still not to the extent I would like. But it’s just something about her I cannot get passed and I have to release my sexual frustrations towards her out. So one day we bump into each other out and about in public and I get her attention and tell her to come sit with me. She comes and sits in my car and we are just having a general conversation when I grab her by her fukn throat and try to kiss her.....she turns away from me but I don’t allow this moment to escape us so I kiss on her neck and INSTANTLY she moans and I know this moment is really happening. She starts to kiss back so I slide my hands down her body from her tits to her stomach to her pussy. She does not move or try and stop but opens her legs wider. I start to bite her and rub her clit with my left hand and choke her with the other hand. She moans and my dick damn near explodes out of my pants. I pause to unzip my pants and she stops suddenly....i don’t allow that to interrupt us I start back kissing her and she starts to stroke my dick and squeeze me harder and harder. At this moment I knew she wanted this just as much as I did. We have come so far from day one until now......

The conclusion....I can tell her pussy is throbbing and “TT” is letting me bite her to the point she is starting to get teeth marks on both sides of her neck. I lick my tongue out and she sucks my tongue slowly like she’s bobbing on a dick. I tell her to make me cum or I’m not gonna let her go on about her day. At this point I’m too turned on to stop now. I wanna rip her clothes off and pound her pussy so bad but time and space has restricted us. I put my hands down her pants and rub her ass and try and get to her pussy but the clothes are just in the way! I’m still instructing her to jerk me off harder and make my nut the kissing gets more intense and so can feel myself about to explode in her hands. I grab her by the hair and try and slide it in her mouth so I can take this to the next level but she puts up a slight fight and I lose it before I can get her on it. I’m not upset but I am satisfied i still want to satisfy her I still want to taste her I still WANNA FUCK “TT” and cum all over her phat round juicy ass. But patience has gotten us this far. So patience will get eventually get us to the promised land. No matter what “TT” admits I think she is still curious and it showed in her eyes before she exited. Deep down inside I think she knows I sexually excite her and she knows her pussy deserves being dominated. I love a submissive woman and she needs to have her sexual urges satisfied and they will be! I have made it my personal mission to take her sexual fantasies and turn them into reality. She needs to be tied up, she needs to be spanked, she needs to be choked and bitten. All this while still walking around each other on a daily and no one knowing our deepest and darkest sexual fantasies are being played out by one another. Sometimes pleasure comes from places you know it shouldn’t and sometimes the best sexual encounters come from the places you least expect. One day we will both reach the pinnacle of our sexual being and cum together at the same time And finally experience ecstasy and euphoria the way it should be. The chase and hunt is always exciting but conquering that sexual mountain would be our everlasting bond.

The End

[drdemonprince]

lachryphage replied: 

see, I find my earnestness has gotten me into trouble more often than not. I used to encounter posts from ppl I followed/was mutuals with in which they'd say something along the lines of "I don't understand ppl who [blank]." and I'd be like!!! oh I know something about this, it's a very interesting and complex topic and here's some reasons why someone might be that way! but then I'd find out they'd made that post as some sort of... like a call out? they weren't saying

they didn't understand, they were saying that they hated the people who were [blank]. and then they would decide to hate me too... it's silly how frequently this happened to me! but eventually I just accepted it's hard for me to tell when people are being genuine and I've only recently again started engaging with people I don't know personally... which makes me sad because I really love talking about stuff y'know???

OMG YES a version of this has happened to me! Some friends on here may remember it as neil cicierega lesbiangate 2019 lol

I basically made a post saying “it is so wild to me that [blank]. i wonder what [blank] is like”. And i meant it sincerely. I was wondering aloud what a particular experience that was unfamiliar to me was like. (in this case, it was hearing that some people will be attracted to neil cicierega, then realize he is not in fact a lesbian but is a cis man, and then become not attracted to him). 

People however interpreted “i find it so wild that [that happens]” to mean that I thought it was wrong or problematic or foolish to have that experience of losing attraction. and so then a lot of people thought I was being homophobic and like, into some weird bi supremacy bs and god mad at me. Hilariously, the person who finally explained to me what happened, and why people had gotten so mad, was neil cicierega himself. He very kindly broke down for me that when you say “it is wild that [blank]”, you are implying something is wrong or hard to accept or what have you, you’re not just wondering what it’s like. 

So, tldr: yes! I have totally been bitten on the ass before by being literal, earnest, straightforward, etc. People sometimes think my sincere questions are mocking them, or are sarcastic or rhetorical, and then they are hurt, and that really sucks. I have found that if I really still continue to be up front and earnest and not too worried by their reaction, i can sometimes prove to people that yep, i really am just Like This, i’m not doing it as a bit, and then they will withdraw their prickles and we can have a conversation about the thing. People who already know i’m autistic are more patient about it. 

But! sometimes people really have no patience at all or are so upset that they can’t even think there could be a good reason why you said xyz thing, and then they dont even give you the room to clarify or to explain. so i can’t blame you for being super wary, though that really really sucks to be in that situation. i honestly love when people ask me random questions or share new perspectives with me most of the time, especially autistic people being really straightforward

(sidebar: i know i didnt answer an anon question about T today, i like getting questions and i’m not mad at anon but that one felt too exhausting to go into especially right now when the answer is not linear or clear. like. it’s a whole long saga so easier for them to just search my archive honestly) 

In a disagreement, particularly online but also irl, people seem motivated to land the best snarky rhetorical hits possible, and to disengage from the actual substance of whatever the fight was about by working people up into an emotional lather

And i find that it is very easy to disarm this with very genuine very autistic earnestness and intellectual interest in whatever the thing is being discussed

Like if you actually engage with a person's argument, no matter how snarkily and pissedly they made it, and agree with the things you agree on, while also sharing your own reflections and nuances.... people who are pissed and trying to deliver rhetorical bon mots truly do not know what to do.

It's kind of a weird superpower i did not expect to happen once i started unmasking. My earnest milquetoast self can actually help broker a peace sometimes. It cant calm down a totally enraged person or make a troll reasonable, but if someone comes into a disagreement with their fists up for no good reason, being real earnest and not trying to score points on them does help bring those fists down

[surrealsurrender]

92 questions

LAST: 1. Drink: fruit smoothie 2. Phone call: my brother 3: text message: to my friend Emily 4. Song you listened to: Afterglow by Wilkinson and Becky Hill 5. Time you cried: about a month ago HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: yupppp stupidly 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: like the majority of ppl I’ve kissed yes 8. Been cheated on: idk, sort of.. we weren’t really official but I felt like I’d been cheated on 9. Lost someone special: a few people sadly 11. Gotten drunk and regretted having sex with someone? It didn’t quite get that far (luckily) but what we did do I regret yeah - haven’t drunk vodka since LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. White 13. Black 14. Pale/pastel pink IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes, but they went as quick as they came 16. Fallen out of love: you have to be in love to fall out of it 17. Wanted sex? I mean yeah? 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yep 19. Met someone who changed you: it might be just over a year ago that I met him, but yes 20. Found out who your friends are: yes 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like 98% of them 23. Do you have any pets: no I have been deprived of such joy and will forever resent my parents for such a sin 24. Do you want to change your name: I always always wanted to when I was younger, but not anymore, I love what my name was influenced by and stands for 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I went out for breakfast with one of my best friends and then went shopping with my Mum, Aunt and Nan and then went out for dinner with all of my family before going for drinks with my other best friend - it was a really nice day 26. What time did you wake up: 8:30, which hurt considering I only went to sleep at 2:30 but my body was ready to get up🙄 27. What were you doing at midnight last night? Having a car horn beeping competition with some guys on motorbikes in a car park 😂 28. Name something you can’t wait for: to be in love with someone 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: she’s sat next to me so… 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: the list is kind of endless. Various things from wishing I’d been open about my sexuality from the start to not pushing away all of the many good people I have over the years. 31. What are you listening to right now: my dad’s playing The Eagles, I’m not sure what the name of the song is but it’s gud 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: hell yeah 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: selfish people 34. Most visited websites: YouTube n Netflix probly LOST QUESTIONS 35. Mole/s: I have millions of the things.. 36. Mark/s: i have freckles on my nose and cheeks and various scars from head butting tables to being bitten and the classic chicken pox scars (edgy Ik) 37. Childhood dream: to just be liked 38. Hair color: half brown half blonde 39. Long or short hair: long rn but i’m getting it cut mega short in a few weeks 40. Do you have a crush on someone: I can’t even remember what it feels like to fancy someone🙄 41. What do you like about yourself physically and otherwise? Physically I quite like my eyes i guess, and my boobs are a rlly nice comfortable size which I’m thankful for. Otherwise, I like the fact that I’m good at the one thing I really love and I’m quite determined and self-motivated and well disciplined (apart from food-wise) 42. Piercings: just five in my ears 43. Blood type: I always forget to ask so idk 44. Nickname: Em, Jazza, emmy, various funny ones that are occasionally used 45. Relationship status: single af 46. Zodiac: Virgo bby 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV show: oh man. Ok so Orphan Black, Orange is the New Black, Gypsy, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Sherlock, Waterloo Road, Coronation Street, Emmerdale, Superwoman, Endeavour, Fresh Meat, Friday Night Dinner, Merlin, Ben & Kate, Midsomer Murders, Lewis, The Durrells, The L Word, Stranger Things, The Crown, Outlander, the list is honestly endless…49. Sexuality: I guess bisexual 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: never had an operation (touch wood) 52. Hair dyed in different color: yeah I’ve been brown, pink, blonde, I think I did a little bit of blue at one point too…. 53. Sport: i used to play football and hockey for my school and have a few medals, I also was very into swimming for a long time and during high school really enjoyed circuit training. Wish I still played football, I always had a real love for it 54. Would you ever touch yourself? Yep, why not? 55. Favourite vacation: when I went to the US, cliche Ik but we went to Disney for two weeks and then spent a week just chilling by the pool and exploring Orlando and Florida and I love it - hopefully going back in 2019 56. Pair of trainers: vans 5eva MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: frosties 58. Books or films? BOOKS ALWAYS 59. I’m about to: go watch my fav film 61. Waiting for: my parents to go to bed 62. Want: happiness 63. Get married: my life won’t feel complete if I don’t (incurable romantic) but realistically I’ll probably never find anyone crazy enough 64. Career: i’d like to be managing editor on either some fiction novels or something fashion related 65. Hugs or kisses: would be perfect rn 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: same height as me preferably 68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: on boys I like muscly veiny arms but on girls I’d say stomach 71. Sensitive or loud: both, depends on my mood 72. Hook up or relationship: relationshio 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: yeah 75. Drank hard liquor: yep 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no 77. Turned someone down: yeah Sex on the first date: nope 79. Broken someone’s heart: I don’t know, I doubt it 80. Had your heart broken: not in a romantic way but friendship-ly yes. 81. Been arrested: no 82. Fallen for a friend: my god yes 83. Done anything sexual with a friend: yes😭 DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: depends what it’s about, but mostly probably not 85. Miracles: I believe in them 100% 86. Love at first sight: yes 87. Aliens: yes - how can there possibly not be anything out there? 88. Kiss on the first date: yessss OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: Connor and Em are my faaaaaavs 91. Height: 5"8 92. Are you happy? In the grand scheme of things, I kind of am atm actually PASS IT ON

[n0feelingsxx-blog]

do you like getting hickeys? only on my nek.

oral, do you like oral? i love receiving it, giving isn’t too bad either, but only do it for the right peron.

if you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? Eminem

plan on getting drunk or high tonight? i’ve gotten drunk the past two nights, so not tonight tomorrow i will be tho

do you have any best friends that you only know online? i know ppl just online, they’re not bffs tho 

is it okay for people to cheat if it’s only online? its not okay to cheat in any snse

are you interested in anime? DBZ, KIND OF. if that counts?

do you have a favorite youtuber or do you not watch much youtube? i have few favs, but i still dont watch it too much

have you ever given a tattoo before and would you like to? i have given one actually

have you ever made out in a hot tub? dont think i’ve ever been in a hot tub

ever peed in your pants after the age of 10? when i was pregnant lmao

what was the name of the last video game you played? COD

what is your favorite elvis song? i dont listen to music that far back. don’t have anything against elvis tho lmao

what is the last tattoo you got? my sons feet on my back

what would you say is your guiltiest pleasure? food.

do you let your pets on your furniture? would if i had a pet and my own furniture as long as they didn’t shed a lot

do you enjoy your job? if unemployed, are you content being so? I’m pretty content with being unemployed, i hate working and i love being a stay at home mom

what is something you have given a lot of thought to lately? how bad i need to get this tax money, get the fuck outta this county, and get over some feelings. 

what is your favorite christmas movie? A Christmas Story.

what do you think of your best friend’s ex? uhm, i didn’t really know him. 

are you biracial? noo.

be honest, does the person you like actually deserve you? or are they actually not worthy of your affections? this is a hard question to answer for my situation

would you ever wear black lipstick? do you know anyone who does? hell nah.

if you wear eye shadow, do you put on a dark color or a light? and if you wear mascara, what color is it? no mascara. light collored eye shadow, brings out my green eyes.

what was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? Skittles 

are you any good with kids? i got a one so yah.

have you seen the last person you kissed without a shirt on? Yup

do you like watching jerry springer? Not anymore

have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend? Nooooo

have you ever unbuttoned your ex’s pants? well yah

have you ever deleted your facebook, then brought it back? mhm

have you ever kissed someone who smokes weed? yes

what’s your favorite brand of peanut butter? Is there brands other than jiffy?

do you have a thing for shy/awkward hot guys? well yeah, im not picky tho. just be nice and sweet and not a fuckboy

what’s your favorite lunchables meal? double cheese pizza

have you ever eaten at golden corral? fav buffet

do you ever decide to just dance crazy to a favorite song? sometimes when i’m really happy

have you ever watched fireworks with someone you loved? mhm

are you good at memorizing phone numbers? i am.

do you like men who have a sensitive side? yeah

have you ever used glitter as one of your makeup items? only makeup i mostly use is eyeliner

do you keep a memo book/agenda? I need to

is there a song in a different language that you can sing? None.

what was the most expensive thing someone bought you? probably north face jacket and uggs. 

how do you feel about bands that use pyrotechnics in live concerts? It’s cool.

is there anyone on your facebook friends list that you dislike? why do you dislike them? some are annoying, but i dont dislike anyone 

have you ever tasted baby food? how about pet food? both. they’re nasty

have you ever thought about what you might call your children? or, if you already have children, what are their names? alexander. 

where is the person you would most like to see, or most like to be with? fuck guys 

find 5 people on your facebook friends list, whose name begins with K. who are these people, and how did you meet them? 

Kristin: my cousin

Kim:my half sister 

Krysta:my main bitch

Kaitlyn: grade school/cheerleading

Kathy: my ex husbands friends wife.

is there a person that you can go to in sweats, and still feel comfy? Plenty.

do you think the last person you kissed is nice? fuck him.

how many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? trust no mf..

how far away is the last person you kissed? about 20 ft. 

have you ever had a teacher that was like a second mom to you? nope

have you ever been in a school talent show? what for? nope.

was the last book you read for fun, or was it for some type of assignment? som mystery novel ider.

would you prefer to go out on a fancy date or just chill in his house? It depends on my mood. I like doing both.

do you enjoy long car rides? Sometimes.

do you ever wish you could live on a farm? Nope.

do you know how to play poker? hell yeah used to kick ass 

have you ever had an ear infection? Not that i remember of 

what color is your favorite bra? #nobralife

what was the name of your first boyfriend? nathan.

have you ever dated someone more than three years older than you? Not yet.

have you ever dated someone a year younger than you? i think so.

have you ever dated someone of another race? nope 

do you enjoy eating veggies? ewh

are you attracted to the last person you exchanged numbers with? i dont have a number to exchange 

what do you think of country music? some of its good. 

do you think pigs are cute or ugly? Grown pigs aren’t the cutest animal out there… but as babies, they’re cute.

did any of your friends lose their virginity before they were 16? if so, did you feel pressured to do the same? lol. i think all my friends has sex at 16 or younger. and i lost mine at 14 so

what kind of home would you like? idc as long as i owned it 

did you ever build furniture forts as a child? yassss

what kind of dog is your favorite? teacup yorkies 

have you ever considered dropping acid? thought bout it 

describe your music style: rap/hiphop/alternative

are you close to any of your aunts/uncles? I write my uncle in jail every week. another uncle comes visits me and my grandma a couple times a week, so. bout it. 

have you ever had a seizure? No.

do you plan on losing weight any time soon? hopefully gain. 

what was your gpa in high school? 3.5

if you have a favorite television show, who’s your favorite character? shameless. uhhh, i love all the gallaghers 

what is your favorite book series, if you have one? I don’t have one.

have you ever had a parasite before? Nope.

do you enjoy listening to older music? Sure.

have you been to disney world before? i will someday

have you ever met someone who was really racist before? Unfortunately, yes.

if you could be a disney character for a day, who would you be? i dont like the disney characters 

would you ever want to swim with sharks? i cant swim so i’d either die instantly from being eaten or drown

what was the last thing that made you laugh? I have no idea.

ever used a bow and arrow? Yes.

occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? astronomer, veternarian…

tea or coffee? Coffee.

opinions on sex before marriage? do it. fuck arriage 

who was the hottest teacher you ever had? freshman year there was this math teacher who was super hot and i think he transferred cause i kept flirting lmao 

have you ever walked on a beach at night? nah.

when was the last time you baked something? did it turn out good? chicken pot pie homemade, it was amazing. couple weeks ago

do you think some of the stuff we’re taught in school is useless? almost all of it 

why do we put the clocks one hour forward or one hour back? daylight savings time. 

what song really gets to your heart and inspires you? I’m not sure.

do you have fireflies around where you live, or do you wish you did? I think there are fireflies around here…

what commercial do you wish they kept playing? hate commericals. 

what current commercial is your favorite?   I don’t watch enough TV to know of any good, current commercials.

if you could have played in any movie, what movie would it be? Magic mike 2, would’ve ayed the girl who got the lapdance at the end.

did you used to do easter egg hunts when you were a child?   Yes! i loved them

what would you rather live by: highway, train tracks or airport? ive lived by train tracks before, so them.

do you believe that ‘hate’ really is a strong word?   I guess. Maybe not anymore

if you have facebook, are you guilty of fanning countless things?   mhmm

as a kid, did you love playing on neopets? Not really. i was too poor for that shit 

do you often get bitten by mosquitoes, or rarely ever? hardly ever anymore 

what’s your opinion on plastic surgery? ever thought about getting it? i’m getting a boob job one day, i’ve said it since i was in grade school..

do you own any feathers? tf kinda question is this lmao no. 

do you have a skype?   nope

the last person you had a thing with comes up to you and says “i’m sorry”? he said sorry earlier but it dont mean shit so i just continuted crying.

where was the last place you had a romantic dinner? ive never really had a romantic dinner 

do you get mad when your current bf/gf talks about an ex?   when my ex did that i did. but im singleee now 

do you know anybody who was abused?   me, a couple ppl i know. 

do you start feeling really gross if you don’t shower after one day?   sometimes

do you pee a lot more after you’ve drank a caffeinated beverage?   i pee about 2-3 times a day. only pee more when i start drinking alcohol

waiting for something? my life to get itself together.

who is your last received call from? grandma.

how do you pronounce the name Sean when you come across it in text… “shawn” “sheen” or “shane”? ”Shawn.”

wouldn’t it be EXTREMELY weird if someone fell in love with you after reading your answers to this survey?   kinda.

who is the next person you’ll hold hands with? nofuckingbody.

have you ever pole danced before?   id like to. 

what is something you used to be afraid of, but aren’t anymore?   i dunno.

do you believe your dreams have any real meaning?   sometimes. i took a nap earlier and i dreamed of snake and bugs and i looked it up and it said that something in my life was bothering me, which is true so..

what do you think of guys who ask girls out over via text message or internet?   pathetic.

do you drink more apple or orange juice?   apple

do you recall the first time that you learned the truth about sex? i reaked out. then got curious 

do you find extreme body builders’ bodies to be attractive? ewh no 

does it bug you when people go ‘mhm’ all the time when you’re talking? kinda

are your parents religious? they were yeah. not super holy rollers but they believed in god yeah.

what is your favorite hostess/little debbie snack?   swiss rolls, honey buns

do you find it rude when you offer someone something and they decline? Nah

do you think benedict cumberbatch is hot?   who

favorite disney princess?   none

does your sibling have a significant other? dont have a sibiling 

do you have any american girl dolls in your house? fuck dolls 

have you ever gotten in trouble at school for wearing revealing clothes?   yup

are you borrowing books from anybody at the moment?   Nope.

have your parents ever questioned your virginity? i told my mom after it happened, she cried but after that didn’t care, my dad never asked

roleplaying is super lame, agreed?   It’s not my thing, but people can do what they want.

how’re you feeling right now? I’m done crying and i just feel empty, and kinda mad and just wanna get my money and go.

does/did either of your parents serve in the military? No

is there anybody you’re not ashamed to tell anything to? Yes.

are you prone to illness? used to be 

are you on birth control? bout to change it but yeah 

how bad are heartbreaks? unbearable sometimes 

has a song ever given you an orgasm?   uhm no. 

have you ever made out in your room? last time? i dont have a room. 

if the last person that you kissed said they wanted to marry you, what would you say? lolololol. we already are. 

do you like your eyes?   I do.

are you attracted to the last person that you fell in love with? Yah

do you have a big butt? Not anymore 

would you be a good salesperson?   helll no

do you like hot sauce? if yes, what do you usually put it on?   nope .

can you do the ‘emo hair flip’? used to be able to

do you know anyone that has dimples? alex.

would you ever make out in front of your best friend? i think i have 

anything physically wrong right now?   nope.

ever had sex under water?   No.

the last person you kissed on the lips said that you were the only one they wanted, would you believe them?   no

you’re having twins. what’s your first reaction? freak the fuck out 

did your first love love you back?   why hell no

do you have scars on your wrists?   mhm

do you like fedoras? Lmao, no.

have you ever wanted to get drunk and get your mind off everything? what ive been doing the last couple ights but hasnt helped 

is there a band you like with amazing music but a bad vocalist? idts

is there a band/artist who has strange lyrics but you love them anyway?   probably

does your optimism sometimes hurt you?   yah

have you ever painted a piece of furniture? mhm

do you believe the fortunes in fortune cookies?   Nah

what do you prefer more: waffles or pancakes?   Waffles!

did you love playing hide and seek as a kid? Yes my fav

got plans after you finish this?   sleep

did you ever dream that you had a baby?   Yes.

have you ever been in a beauty pageant? Not pretty enough for that shit 

did you sleep alone?   I slept alone in my bed last night, but Mahima and Adrika were sleeping in the same room.

does your best friend approve of the last person you kissed? probably dont care 

where is the last person you kissed at this moment?   In his bed.

describe your dream girl/guy? fuck guys 

been arrested? for what? I’ve never been arrested.

tell us the story of your first kiss? it kinda just happened in the middle of class,

do you sleep with stuffed animals?   I have one stuffed animal that I keep in my bed with me. 

how many stuffed animals do you think you have?   used to have a lot but one now 

favorite character from finding nemo? dory

how long does it typically take you to get over people?   depends

are you stressed out?   always

so tell me one interesting thing about yourself. im an emotional wreck

do you own a trenchcoat? Nope.

have you ever owned a tire swing?   no

do you have a nervous twitch?   Nope

are you currently listening to music? no

is it easy to get a job where you live? im in cc rn, and its not. but in indy it is. .

is your signature legible?   it is, and pretty too .

was the last time you cried because you were angry? inbetween angry, sad, empty, not feeling good enough. .

is there an animal that scares you?   snakes, spiders, anything big enough to hurt and eat me

are you any good at video games?   helll yahh.

has a jehovah’s witness ever showed up on your doorstep? mhm

do you have a step parent? I dont even have parents anymore.. 

[szopenhauer]

what is the weather going to be like where you live tomorrow? who knows, forecast is lying

who lives in your house and what are they doing right now? my parents, dunno, they just finished eating

does your best friend live near you? my dad lives with me

what is the last place you kissed someone, if ever? her apartment

how do you like to express yourself? in every possible way?

whose birthday is coming up? my sister’s 

what do your favorite pair of shoes look like? can’t choose only one pair

what city do you live in? what’s the population? I’m not sharing that

what time are you going to sleep tonight? we’ll see

who is the last person you hugged for a long time? parent

what are your top five favorite cities? that I visited or would like to?

how did your parents pick your name? my mom liked it 

do you want to move out? yes

how long would it take you to walk to the house of the last person you kissed? walk? :o omg...

what did you last have a conversation with one of your siblings about? what happened on Wednesday

other than a dislike button, what’s something you wish facebook had? hmm...

which part of your day was best: morning, afternoon, or night? I hope night will be good

what’s something you would do drunk but never do sober? I’ve never been drunk so no idea

what is more annoying, people who take forever to reply to texts or when they only say ‘k’? both are annoying but constant ok or XD are basically K.O. of the conversation

have you ever had a night that’s been hands down the best night of your life? if so, describe what happened? can I count dreams tho?

what time do your parents normally get home from work? mom’s retired and my dad either 8 am or 8 pm

what is a word, if any, that you always have trouble spelling? cześć and similar with ść like iść myć and sometimes also words with l and r inside like galeria as I switch those and there’s garelia instead

what was the last awkward moment you experienced? my whole life is awkward

last thing that really hurt you? physically or emotionally/mentally?

are you ever afraid to be yourself? if I can get beated or even killed for that

did you kiss or hug anyone today? hug

how many people have told you they were in love with you? ugh...

is any part of you sad at all? always

would you kiss anyone you have texts from in your phone? my gf obviously

honestly, if you could go back one month and change something would you? maybe

are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you? yeah

do you still talk to the last person you kissed? even now

do you have a bad temper? I guess

do you believe that there’s good in everybody? who cares if there’s more bad/evil in them

are you the funniest of all your friends? don’t wanna brag but... 

have you ever gone to work with a hangover? never been hungover

what pisses you off the most? shitload of stuff

are you emotional? might be

what’s something you wish you could go shopping for right now? if I had my own apartment...

have you done anything illegal in the last three days? no do you ever get shy around the boy/girl you like? sorta

have you ever gotten soap in your mouth for cursing? do you think that’s right to do to kids who curse?: luckily not, that’s awful, don’t do that

what age do you think is appropriate for kids to start watching horror movies with lots of gore?: never, kid or adult, those movies shouldn’t exist in the first place

do you know what the word “polyamorous” means?  I know

how many bug bites do you currently have?: about 10, first time in my life I’ve been bitten so hard and yet ppl dare to say there are no mosquitos this summer

do you have any wind chimes outside your house? how many?: we don’t, my mom used to have bamboo one inside but somehow it’s gone now

do you know someone who actually had someone give them a bouquet of real roses and one fake one, and tell them they’ll love them until the last one dies?: wow :o

which do you like better, firefox or internet explorer?: Opera but Firefox if I had to choose between those two craps

do you have a flat stomach? would you ever wear a belly shirt to show it off?: it ain’t flat but I still wear crop tops when I’m in the mood for that

with eyebrow piercings, do you prefer the ring or the curved barbell?:  I don’t care 

would you date someone who was five years older than you?:  I don’t think so

if you had to have one drug (illegal ones, like marijuana and cocaine and all of them) right now, what would it be?: none

would you ever get a sleeve or a half sleeve on your arm (we’re talking about tattoos)?: hell no

do you have a wireless mouse and/or keyboard?: not wireless

do you think your biological parents love each other?: what even is love...

would you rather live alone in a huge mansion or alone in a small studio apartment?: small apartment is enough, I don’t have to clean whole mansion haha or pay for all the electricity and such

if you came across child porn on your computer, what would you do?: not possible as only I use it

what’s the name of the street you live on?: that’s personal

how often do you use “<3”?: rarely

how do you feel about abortion?: it’s complicated, I don’t want to talk about it

what’s one thing your grandmother does that you can’t stand?: ...

did you ever notice how it’s more tragic if a younger person dies than an older person, even if they both died of the same cause?: it’s because old person had time to live and it’s normal they’re going to die soon on smth anyway, kids and teens or even young adults should have an equal chance in life 

how often do you wash your hair?: recently basically everyday

do you think the price for a movie ticket is too high these days?: I agree have you ever been to a drive-in movie theater?: nope

what’s your favorite musical?: Cats is the only one I like, I hate musicals

Have you ever watched a beaver build a damn before? not irl, just documentary/online

How often do you get spam in your email? all the damn time, 99% of emails are spam and it makes me mad

Do you use “shall” or “should” more often in speech? should only

Do you know anyone who can read Braille? I learned but forgot already

Do you ever wish that you had a tail? kinda

Do you prefer garden snails or water snails? all of them snails :)

Do you pay attention to detail? often

Would you wear a veil at your wedding, if you were to get married? I prefer capes or trains for that matter but veils aren’t a bad idea either

Are you a male or a female? I’m a cis female

Do you like fairytales? not a fan 

What is your favorite type of whale? I think they’re pretty cool in general, don’t know enough about types

Do you prefer paper bags and plastic bags when you go to the grocery store? Or perhaps those reusable ones? depends

Do you like your country’s flag? it’s... boring

Do you like things that have a zigzag pattern on them? sweaters

Has the airbag ever gone off in the car before, with you in it? no

When’s the last time you used a dishrag? today

What does your favorite bag look like? can’t decide

list two facts about your last kiss. it was with a woman that I’m dating in her apartment - ok that’s three facts lol

what was your first thought when you looked in the mirror this morning? my skin is awful

have you ever worn the opposite sex’s underwear? nah

have you ever kissed in a pool? I haven’t

have you ever lied to protect someone’s feelings? yep

how did you meet the last person you kissed? mutual friend in high school, we went to the crappy concert together

whats something that really grosses you out? plenty of stuff that I don’t want to even think about 

what is the oldest person you would date right now? my age is old enough 

do you use your middle finger often? I suppose

how many people have you kissed in your entire life? one

how many hours has it been since you woke up? at first I woke up at 6 am then half past 10 am and now it’s 3 pm

are you listening to anything? not currently

has anyone ever sprayed you fully clothed with a hose? I don’t recall but would be pissed

do you own an umbrella? I borrow my parents’ umbrella when I have to because I hate umbrellas

what do you have in your pockets right now? no pockets!

how many keys are on your key chain? just one

what do they go to? my house 

are you wearing a shirt that has a sports team logo on it? ewww, no way

have you parents ever hated one of your boyfriends/girlfriends? my mom doesn’t like the fact I’m into girls so... how old is the last person you kissed? 28 

how old were you in 1995? 3

how old will you be in 2027? 35

what brand of shampoo do you use? Family splash

who was the last person to give you money? family member

have you ever dreamt of someone you barely know? that was weird

when was the last time you went to the ocean? saw the sea once, not ocean

do you know how to give cpr? not best

have you ever taken a pregnancy test? what for?

have someone seen you naked in the last month? yup

what kind of doctor did you go to the last time you went? had to get vaccine against tetanus after I was bitten by the dog this Wednesday

are you jewish? am not

have you ever wished your eyes were a different color? it’s not that important

how many times does “n” occur in your full name? twice

what are you initials? Z.C.

what is something that always makes you feel pretty? *rolling my eyes*

how many songs are on your mp3/ipod? I don’t remember, I didn’t use it in a long time

have you ever flashed someone accidentally? in elementary I had no boobs so I didn’t wear a bra and there was PE and I was teaching my classmate how to do a carthwheel and I flashed a certain boy who was bullying me later in life (middle school), he said - You’re wild

do you ever crack your knuckles/back/ankles/wrists/etc?: I despise ppl who do that, stop!

if you walk by a mirror, do you look at yourself in it?: try not to

what would you do if a stranger came up to you and said you are the most attractive person they had ever seen?: think it’s a prank 

have you ever shared a blanket with someone?: sure

what is more important, happiness or trust?: happiness includes trust

do you ever think “what if” about anything?: overthinking for life

do you care too much/not at all/just enough?: all at once lmfao

are you a morning person or a night person?: night but I’m barely a person

what would you do if you opened up your front door and your doorstep was full of surprises?: what kind of surprises?

if you were offered a shot of whiskey right this second, would you accept?: thx but no

do you have a good relationship with your mother?: not as much as I’d like to

the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them?: 3 - on a cam/video chat, publicly and on her bed

are your nails painted?: they’re not painted

are you someone who worries too often? 24/7

do you like thunderstorms?: I like how lightning looks like and the sound of thunder but weather makes me feel ill so...

would you like to see a tornado at some point in your life?: if it didn’t kill me

could you stay in the same relationship for over a year?: I assume

who has seen you at your “worst?“: family and partner

will you kiss the last person you kissed again?: we plan to

if you could have one super power what would it be?: healing - myself and others

what’s your opinion on people wearing high heels to school?: dumb

do you listen to any music that doesn’t have lyrics?: can but don’t do that usually

do you stutter when you get nervous?: nah

do you attend church regularly?: I listen to the mass every Sunday

what is your favorite superhero movie?: can’t choose only one

do you watch gossip girl?: no

what do you get whenever you go school shopping?: I��m done with school however, back when I did do school shopping, it was about notebooks mostly

what is your #4’s dog’s name?: I didn’t have so many 

do you consider yourself responsible?: depends

are you tired?: yesss

do you think that aliens exist? it’s possible

what do you doodle most often?: *shrug*

if you went to jail, what would you go for?: smth I didn’t do, I would be framed

are there any bruises on your body right now?: weird but not even after that unlucky Wednesday, my skin isn’t bruising easily

if you died next week, what would be the cause of death?: heart attack, allergy, accident etc

what do you think about dating websites?: didn’t help but OKC have fun questions :P

what is your favorite thing to get at starbucks?: I don’t go there

what about at mcdonalds?: french fries

do you wear contacts or glasses?: if I had to I’d choose glasses

how many clocks are in your room?: just cellphone and computer 

how many fridges are in your house?: ... 1

what is the best way to tell someone that they stink?: too ashamed to point that out :x

what time will you go to bed tonight?: 11 pm but probs will fall asleep before 2 am as usual

How do you feel right this moment?: not good

What does the last person you kissed name start with?: M.

How many people have you kissed in the last 5 months?: no one else

When did you last have sex?: recently

State the lyrics stuck in your head at the moment.: I'm hard on the outside but if you see inside, inside, inside 

What do you currently hear?: not a single thing and happy about it

What would you do if your doctor told you, you were pregnant?: they’re mistaken as it’s not possible

If you’re dating someone how long have you been together?: about 2 months

What’s the longest relationship you have ever been in?: dunno if I can count that as relationship 

Do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion?: used to know

Are your parents strict?: they’re weird

What grade are you in?: graduated 

Have you ever kissed in the rain?: wouldn’t want to, I imagine it being uncomfy

When was the last time you seen your mom?: she just opened my room’s door without knocking to ask me for another favor

Do you and her get along good?: won’t say so

Have you ever stole anything?: not really

What’s the last thing you heated up in the microwave? I don’t use a microwave, I heard they’re bad for your health

Have you ever felt like a slave before? kind of

How often do you shave? What do you shave? not your business

Whose grave did you last visit? been to the funeral but besides that my brother’s

Describe a time when you felt brave. nie czuję się odważna tylko dzielna tak jak nie jestem cierpliwa lecz mam silną wolę

Have you ever participated in “the wave”? if I’m thinking what you’re thinking

Have you ever accidentally waved at the wrong person before? worse

Oh no! Your house is on fire! What’s the first thing that you try to save? important documents, pendrives, photo albums, my fav stuffed animal (but most importantly myself and my fam)

Do you remember to save your documents? I’m paranoid about it

Are you the person who paves/smooths things over in an argument, or do you just add more fuel to the fire? I must confess I quite often add fuel but not every single time

How many pets do you have? just my doggo