#of course they used one of the corniest surnames

[martwy-basen]

THERE IS A NEW POLISH COD OPERATOR?????? AND HIS CALLSIGN IS,,,, *checks notes* S W A G G E R??????

[eldritchsurveys]

654.

Honestly, what are you thinking about right now? >> I’m aggravated because ESO’s server maintenance is supposed to be over by now, but it isn’t, and I want to play. I also hate that I am so easily aggravated by things like this sometimes, because I’m sure to people with fully functional brains it’s not a big deal and it probably shouldn’t be to me either -- but no one ever said I had a fully functional brain. Also, I’m thinking about all the raucous crowing going on outside. The crows have really been out in full force lately. Do you like to get your nails done? >> No, it involves too much physical contact (although, at least it’s only on one part of my body). Also, I can do just fine at home by myself, and save like... fucking $60 or whatever. Why the fuck is it so expensive anyway? What are your thoughts on Valentine’s Day? >> I don’t have any thoughts on Valentine’s Day. It really doesn’t affect me most of the time (it didn’t even affect me when I was single, honestly). I think it’s a bit of a silly holiday but far be it for me to rain on other people’s parades about it -- the last thing anyone needs is someone like me being pedantic and bah-humbug-y about the fact that they’re doing something cute for someone they love. Anyway, while V-Day doesn’t really factor into my life any (Sparrow sometimes gets wine and makes dinner and we just veg out watching YouTube or whatever), I was flipping through a local publication while we were at Biggby the other day and I found a V-Day event at one of our favourite places (Long Road Distillery), which was perfect. So we’re going to that, and I think it will be fun. Sometimes V-Day is just a convenient time to find fun "date” ideas. Do you remember the last movie you saw while on a date? >> Well, in the last question I put “date” in quotes because I, an aromantic, don’t really know how I feel about the concept, but at the same time it’s not completely illogical to call planned outings with my spouse a “date”, so... you know. Regardless, the last time we both went to see a movie together is when we went to see Jojo Rabbit last year. Do you love the color pink? >> I mean, it’s fine. I like it in some cases and I like it less in others.

Have you ever cheated on someone? >> Yes. What color is your favorite bra? >> My binder is black. Sometimes I do consider getting one with a cool print on it, though. I forget the name of the company that makes those. If you took on the surname of the last person you kissed, what would it be? >> Can Calah doesn’t have a surname. Do you kiss on the first date? >> --- Do you like to wear dresses? >> Sure, sometimes. What I don’t like is wearing them in public and knowing that I now have no way to assert that I am not a cis woman. Because “well, you’re wearing a dress, after all!” Yeah, because it’s comfortable and has a cool pattern on it. Fuck off. Are you into sports? >> No. Do you like any ‘manly’ activities like hunting, fishing, or camping? >> I’ve never been hunting or fishing, but I imagine I’d find hunting a bit more interesting than fishing (although, from what I understand, both activities involve a lot of waiting around without moving, which doesn’t sound fun at all). Camping, however, can be a lot of fun. Did you lose your virginity before you were sixteen? >> I was coerced into sexual activity before I was sixteen. If not, are you still a virgin? >> ---

What was the name of your first boyfriend? >> Craig. Your first kiss? >> Hm.

Are you still with either of those people from the last 2 questions? >> Like, of fucking course not. Have you ever used your bra to hold things like you would a pocket? >> Yeah. Are you a shop-a-holic? >> No. How many purses do you own? >> Zero. Describe your favorite pair of shoes: >> --- Who knows a secret about you that no one else does? >> --- What is your longest relationship to date? >> The one I’m in. Who ended the last relationship you were in? >> I did. Have you ever gotten back with an ex? >> Yeah. Everyone makes mistakes. Are you bi? >> I assume I would be if I wasn’t ace. Have you ever done something with a friend of the same sex? >> Yeah. Who was your first prom date? >> A 29-year-old police officer from a nearby town. My father set it up. Yes, it was just as sad as it sounds. Have you ever dated someone more than three years older than you? >> Way more. Have you ever dated someone a year younger than you? >> Yeah. Have you ever fallen for a guy friend? >> No. Have you ever had a guy friend you weren’t into, fall for you? >> I don’t think so. Do you cry during romantic movies? >> Not usually. I don’t have the kind of heartstrings that romance flicks are primed to tug upon.

Who was the last person to see you cry? >> The only people that see me cry are Inworlders if I can help it.

Have you ever been used? >> I don’t think so.

Have you ever felt violated? >> Yeah. Do you like when I guy takes you by surprise and kisses you? >> I wouldn’t like it if anyone did that. What do you think of red lipstick? >> I don’t think anything of it, really. It’s just lipstick. Do you ever leave the house without make up? >> I usually leave the house without makeup on.

Do you tan? >> I’m already dark-skinned, boo. What is your natural hair color? >> Dark brown. Is it that right now? >> Yes, with a tiny crop of greys. Have you ever gone for someone despite knowing they were bad for you? >> Well, I kind of just overlooked my instincts, is what I did. Do you prefer guys with dark hair or light hair? >> --- Have you kissed anyone who’s name started with 'C’? ’D’? 'J’? 'K’? 'R’? ’T’? >> I don’t feel like digging back into a history I don’t care about to figure this out. Would you be more likely to date a redneck or a goth? >> A goth, if I were to date. A prep or a skater? >> Unlike “goth” and “redneck”, I don’t know anyone my age who identifies as “prep” or “skater”, so.... An athlete or a musician? >> Musician, probably. I don’t think I’d be able to remain interested in (or interesting to) anyone for whom atheticism was important. When was the last time someone gave you flowers? >> I don’t know. What kind of gift can win you over? >> Win me over to what? Has anyone ever sung to you? >> Yeah. What was the stupidest thing you’ve done while drunk? >> Drank too much and ended up sick for the rest of the night. Are diamonds really a girls best friend? >> I don’t know, ask a girl. Gold or silver? >> Gold. What is your favorite scent? >> I don’t have one. Do you like massages? >> I really don’t. Apparently “no one hates massages” except lmao I do. Have you ever been skinny dipping? >> No. Do you sleep naked? >> No. Is smoking a turn-off? >> Not necessarily. But the thing about smoking is, if you do it enough, it has lingering effects that are turn-offs -- smelling like smoke all the time, yellowed fingertips, a persistent cough, that sort of thing. If you smoke every once in a while, that probably won’t be a problem, so it’s fine. But I’m guessing not many people can say they smoke every once in a while (I’m the only person I’ve known that does).

What is the perfect date? >> --- Is there a certain tv show you get upset if you miss? >> Not really. I can always just... catch up... What is your favorite movie? >> The Fountain. When was the last time you spent the night at someone else’s house? >> Christmas. Was that someone of the same or opposite sex? >> It was Sparrow’s parents... What is one food you always crave? >> I don’t know about always. Baklava, maybe? I have it so rarely that I do end up wanting it often. Are you an exercise freak? >> I am... freaked out by exercise. Ha. What scares you more, spiders or snakes? >> Neither. Do you expect to be married in the next two years? >> I am already married. What would you do if you found out you were pregnant? >> I wouldn’t be pregnant. It’s scientifically impossible for several reasons. Was the last person to call you male or female? >> --- Does it matter if a guy has a sense of humor? >> I mean, I’m not going to hang out with someone completely humourless. Do you wish on shooting stars? >> No. What are your thoughts on guys who wear wifebeaters? >> Literally, that’s just an undershirt. What kind of specific opinion can I possibly have about people who wear undershirts... Who do you vent to when something is bothering you? >> Can Calah.

What is the best way to cool off when you’re mad? >> Distraction. Plenty of distraction. Do you have someone who is protective of you (father, brother, etc.)? >> No. Well, King Crimson would be, but there’s not much he needs to protect me from Inworld, lmao. Would you ever get implants? >> No. Have you ever had a crush on a sibling’s friend? >> No. Have you ever had a crush on a friend’s sibling? >> No. What is the corniest pick-up line someone’s ever used on you? >> I don’t remember. It would have had to be like 10 years ago. Does it mean more to you if a guy uses the word 'beautiful’ about you? >> --- Is your best friend a guy? >> --- Are you more of a 'girly girl’ or a 'tomboy’? >> I’m not either, since I’m not a girl. Is your hair longer than your shoulders? >> It’s not even longer than an inch. Do you prefer showers or baths? >> Showers. Have you ever dated someone with a child? >> Yeah. She was a funny kid, I liked her. One time she dead ass sat in front of the main menu screen of a movie that her father had put on for her and then forgot about, for like an hour, and he was like “omg why didn’t you come get me to press play???” and she was just like *lolshrug*. Kids. Have you ever dated someone shorter than you? >> No. Have you ever dated someone of another race? >> Yes. Do you secretly still love to dress up for Halloween? >> I have never dressed up for Halloween (aside from just wearing a nice outfit, but not like a costume) and I would love to have that experience. Have you kissed anyone today? >> No. Will you kiss anyone tomorrow? >> It’s possible. Are you addicted to texting? >> No. If you and your best friend got arrested, what would it be for? >> ---