#of course minthara would completely miss shadowheart's obvious joke

[trappedinafantasy37]

I couldn't stop thinking about Minthara planting night orchids in her garden as she genuinely thinks that they are poisonous. So, I wrote a little snippet of her learning that they are not poisonous.

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Minthara sits at the desk in her study, reviewing some of the letters written by the patriars of the city. She takes a drink from the wine glass in her hand, laughing with amusement as she reads the letters. They are all begging her to release the funds she has secured in the Counting House that she still holds in lock down. Who knew how easily she could manipulate the city legislature by simply denying its sitting members their fifth vacation to Waterdeep in six months.

She sets aside one letter after having completed it and pulls out another one, ready for more comedy. She has no intentions to release the gold and she wants the patriars to squirm. Let them know that they are under her thumb.

As she reads, she hears the muffled sounds of laughing and barking outside. She smiles to herself as she pictures her beloved outside playing with the dog. She stands up from her desk and walks to the window. Peeling back the curtain and squinting her eyes, Minthara watches as Scratch runs back towards the half-elf with a slimy ball in his jaws.

Shadowheart crouches down and pets the dog behind his ears, rubbing her forehead against the top of his head. She takes the ball from Scratch's mouth and walks back towards the cottage. She opens the back gate and continues through the garden. Shadowheart stops for a brief moment and looks at the night orchids that Minthara has been growing for the past few months. Minthara's heart drops into her stomach as Shadowheart kneels to the ground and begins to touch its poisonous petals.

The drow whips open the curtains, ignoring the burning pain as the sun shoots light beams directly into her eyes. She furiously taps on the window to get the half-elf's attention. "Are you mad? That is poisonous."

Shadowheart looks at the window and cocks her head, "Wha..." she says, but the word is muffled from the thick window between the two elves.

"Stop touching the damn flower! It is poisonous. It will kill you, you fool." Minthara says louder at the window, panic rising in her chest as the half-elf won't remove her hands from the flower pedals.

"What do yo... ...ower is not... ...sonous..." Shadowheart's voice is still muffled and Minthara is unable to discern her words. In a panicked frenzy, the drow runs through the cottage and outside into the garden.

"The flowers are poisonous, Shadowheart. What kind of madness would compel you to touch a plant you know is deadly?" Minthara says gently grabbing the half-elf's wrist and pulling her away from the night orchids. All Shadowheart does is giggle as the drow drags her up to the porch. "You will not be in such a jesting mood when you lie on the ground, croaking out like a frog as the poison does its work and thickens your blood like spoiled milk." Minthara slams open the door back into the cottage and drags the cleric into the kitchen. Her panic begins to mix with annoyance as Shadowheart continues to laugh as Minthara frantically gathers her antidotes.

"Minthara... You don't..." Shadowheart struggles to speak through her laughter, "You don't actually think that night orchids are poisonous do you?" she asks, wiping away a tear.

"Of course I do, you told me as much yourself. Drink this. Quickly." the drow hands an open antidote vial to the cleric. "We only have a short time to counter the effects of the toxins. When you finish, we will need to scrub your hands of any residue."

Shadowheart grabs the vial and walks to the counter with a smile on her face, returning the cork back into the top. "Minthara, love, I was joking when I said they were poisonous. Do you not remember that?"

"If you were joking, you failed to clarify that." Minthara sets her hand on the counter, trying to simmer her anger.

"Was it that I failed to clarify, or did you just stop paying attention after I said it was poisonous?"

Minthara taps her fingers against the counter. She recalls that day in the shadow lands, following behind the half-elf as Scratch sniffed out the flower. It was growing out of the side of a tree that hung over a rock cliff. "You refused to touch the flower. I had asked you why you did not want to pluck your favorite flower off that fallen log. You said that it was, and I quote, 'deadly poisonous'."

"And then I did this..." Shadowheart slumps over and points her fingers at the drow, "and said, 'Joking!'" she recites in a sing-song tone.

Minthara furrows her brow and pinches the corner of her lips. Shadowheart did no such thing! Did she?

"All of the poisons that I have been crafting these past months. All of them... useless... worthless..." the drow grumbles to herself.

"Wait, you've been using the night orchid in your poisons?"

"Yes. Because I had been led to believe that they were poisonous. Why do you think I was growing them in the garden?" Minthara sighs and shakes her head.

"I thought you were growing them because I liked them..." Shadowheart's voice trails off.

"Partially. I figured that if I was to microdose you with poison, that it would be more palatable to mix it with something you were familiar with."

"And if you knew from the beginning that they weren't poisonous, would you still have planted them?"

"Yes." Minthara looks to the half-elf as if the answer should be obvious. "Most of the fungi I have out there are not poisonous. I nurture them because I like them. They remind me of my home. And I would have done the same for you as the orchid does hold a place in your heart. Although they would not take up half the real estate in my damn garden as they do now." Minthara holds her hands before her and starts to shape them. "They would take up a little corner, or perhaps line the edges of the garden. Now I have to find a way to replace them. Make room for actually poisonous plants."

Shadowheart giggles and steps closer to the drow, wrapping one arm around Minthara's neck. "Why did you grow so many?"

"Some were to be harvested for the poisons. Others were to remain untouched, just for you to view every morning when we take the dog for a walk."

"I knew you were a romantic." Shadowheart leans forward and weaves her lips with her paladin. Minthara grabs onto Shadowheart's waist and pulls their bodies closer together, letting the frustration of the misunderstanding wash away.

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Her knees scrape against small pebbles as she kneels to the ground, fingers clawing into the dirt. Frustration bubbles in her chest as she digs around the plant before her.

"Hmph." Minthara scoffs to herself. "Useless plant. Of course, she reveals to me after I fill half the garden with them that she was merely 'jesting'." The drow lifts her fingers out in the air and makes air quotes around the word, still not believing the half-elf's claim of making such a joke. She shakes her head as she returns to her work in digging up the orchid.

Once enough of its stem is exposed that she should be able to pull it out of the ground. But the stem itself is very thin and can easily break with too much pressure. She digs just a little more around it until its roots are exposed. She grabs onto the stem as gently as she can and slowly pulls it out of the ground. The orchid is not willing to release itself as its roots are properly intertwined with the earth.

Even though it is not poisonous as she had believed it to be, she does still admire the flower. It is, after all, one of the only natural things to survive the shadow curse on its own. Even with all the odds against it, where the air and the land beneath it had been poisoned by Shar, it managed to prevail where all else failed.

She doesn't fight the smile the tugs at the corner of her lips as she places the flower into the vase she brought with her. It is a resilient flower that has defied the very gods themselves and refused to be corrupted by the darker influences that threatened to swallow it whole. Much like a cleric that is close to her heart.

Minthara continues along the edge of the garden, digging up more of the orchids and placing them into the vase she brought with her. Once she has a nice set of flowers in the vase, she stands up and walks up to the porch. She sets it on the table and she grabs a mini shovel and digs into a bag of soil she has resting on the table. She gently pours it into the vase and packs it into the base so that it may serve as some nourishment for the flowers. Satisfied that the vase has been properly prepared, she sets the mini shovel on top of the bag of soil and removes her gardening gloves.

With the vase in hand, she walks through the cottage and into the living room. Shadowheart lays sprawled out against the couch with a blanket draped over her lower body, a book in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. A warm fire cackles in the fire place, proving some light in the room. Shadowheart lifts her eyes from the book and watches as Minthara sets the vase on the table in the center of the room. The drow taps her fingers ever so gently against the petals, attempting to fluff them up so that they look more presentable.

"It's a shame you have to rip up the flowers." The half-elf says as the drow walks over to the couch.

"Why would I rip up the flowers? That would just be a waste." Minthara asks as she lifts up Shadowheart's legs and sits on the couch. She sets the half-elf's legs in her lap as she makes herself comfortable on the furniture.

"Because they're not poisonous like you thought they were."

"No, they are not poisonous. But that is hardly a reason to rip them up from the garden, at least not all at once and I will slowly rotate some of them out. They still have some usage." Minthara waves her hand to the vase, "Now we have a lovely decoration."

Shadowheart lifts an eyebrow to Minthara. "And here I thought you were going to burn them all. You were rather upset about it earlier."

Minthara sighs and rubs her hand along Shadowheart's leg, "I was not upset to discover that the orchids were not poisonous. I was upset to discover that you and I are not inoculated against poison like I had thought we were. I worry now that if someone attempts to poison you, you may struggle to fight it on your own."

Minthara looks into her lap as her mind grows heavy to the thought of someone attempting to assassinate her beloved in the worst way she can imagine. She already lost one lover to poison, she cannot lose another in the same way. Shadowheart sits up and places her book and wine glass on the table. She scooches closer to the drow and places a hand on her cheek, turning Minthara's head so that their eyes may meet.

"You forget, love, that I do have spells that can help me fight poison and heal injuries. You do not need to stress yourself about it so much."

Minthara shakes her head and squeezes on the half-elf's leg, "I can use a sword to strike down and protect you from marauders, assassins, cultists, even the gods themselves. But no sword will ever be able to strike down poison, and most certainly not one that has found its way in your blood stream. I speak with direct experience, your clerical magic will only help you against so much. The only reliable weapon you have is your own immune system, and it is the only weapon I can give you against a threat that is unseen and silent."

Shadowheart giggles, "Thank you for being concerned with my health. But I will be alright. You still have your mushrooms. You have a formula for those don't you?"

"Yes." Minthara throws her head to the back of the couch, calculating new recipes in her mind and rebalancing the ratios.

I have my fungi from the Underdark, as well as a few surface mushrooms. But the recipe I have been using accounted for the night orchid making up a decent percentage of the ratio. Perhaps, things are not as bad as I initially perceived them to be as the previous concoctions with the orchid were still at least mostly poisonous. They were just not as poisonous as they could have been. Eh heh, no wonder why our enemies did not fall as fast as I had expected when I would coat my blades with the toxin. Like flowers and plants, poisons themselves come in various strains. Perhaps I can look around and find a new mushroom or a new plant to fill in the space of the night orchid so that the new creations can still account for as many strains as possible. Of course I cannot expect to realistically create just one little potion that will protect against every single poison out there... ... can't I? I will need to speak with a few herbalists, gather as much knowledge and information as possible of surface plants. If I cannot make one, I can make multiple different toxins and -

"Hey, stop that." Shadowheart playfully taps her hand against the drow's cheek to pull back her attention. "You shutting off your ears and going into your head about dangerous things is how we got in this mess to begin with. I do appreciate the effort you put to keep us safe. But we will be fine. Your potions weren't completely useless so my magic should help me. I don't think someone is going to try to poison me any time soon. You have time to figure it out."

Minthara widens her eyes and looks at Shadowheart, "Oh, darling. There is no time." Minthara swings her arm to the back of the couch and pushes herself above the half-elf. She leans over into Shadowheart's personal space. "Someone will try to poison you, and they will do it soon."

Shadowheart places a hand on her chest, opening her mouth with a overly dramatic gasp. She leans backwards on the couch as the drow gets closer to her. "And who have I angered so much that they would dare to poison me?"

"Me!" Minthara growls, pouncing on her lover and pushing the half-elf completely against the couch. Shadowheart giggles as the drow kisses the side of her neck, hands pressing into her belly and tickling her. "You have made a grievous error in fooling me into thinking those damn flowers were toxic. I will show you real poison, one that would make even the Spider Queen quiver."

"Oh, please do show me..." Shadowheart mumbles as the two elves melt together with a kiss that may or may not be poisonous.