#of course its some Arthur merch

[pinescent-and-gingerbread]

EEEEEH guys guys look at this!! I got these from @dr-paint's shop 🥰 they're absolutely gorgeouuus and they came with extra free stickers 😭 and this Arthur drawing aaaargh

Definitely recommend!! They're so beautiful, came in ultra quickly and Stephanie is ultra sweet! 🫶🏼

[turnupswritessometimes]

Hi, just saw your post about your fav characters....Can I ask your your top 5 or 10 fav Disney characters and why you love them...?

EDIT: I am so sorry this took me so long to answer. I was doing a show and then Christmas happened and then I just let it stew!!

Lmao, sure! I'm not going to put the ones from the first post on here, because I've talked about them before. (But Stitch is still the top!! I'll also leave off Peter Pan and Cinderella) I'm not counting Marvel, Star Wars or Pixar; just Disney Animated Classics

Again, in no particular order, because that's too much stress.

1.) Jim Hawkins from Treasure Planet

The angst! The arc! But most importantly, the gender!!! I watched it again recently and Jim's story is just!! So full of emotions!! His relationship with Silver - coming to terms with his absent dad - just very good stuff! (And for a 00s kid, he was the epitome of cool, lmaoo)

2.) Tiana from Princess and the Frog

Again, similar to Cinderella, I relate to 'Dreams come true, but you have to put in the hard work for them.' Especially this last year (me and Tiana both worked two jobs!), and working on coursework. Now that I've finished my course, I'm still holing up most nights to polish off a manuscript I want to seriously get published. Tiana working so hard for her dreams is a big inspiration. I probably take the wrong message from the film, lol

3.) Anna from Frozen

This is mostly because I cosplayed Anna, multiple times! I have her coronation dress and her blue dress! It was honestly more because my friend had the dress ready to go, than any real choice, which spawned getting brought a lot of Anna merch. But I do like her as a character; her determination and optimism and that she's honestly an awkward dork.

4.) Oliver from Oliver and Company

I love Oliver Twist and I've loved ginger cats ever since I first watched Alien. So I have to love Oliver. He is just...a little boy...there's not much substance to him but there doesn't need to be: he's an orphan kitten and his job is to be lovable.

5.) Aladdin

The best Disney man? He's charming and handsome and dedicated! I thought I would have more to justify it, but not really, lol - he's a very nice man! The magic carpet ride, the puppy eyes, the underlying queerness of 'Genie, make me a prince!'

(I was also cast as Aladdin in the school play; a big gender moment for me!)

6.) Koda from Brother Bear

Brother Bear was one of my favourites as a kid, and I loved Koda. Like Oliver, he's - cute - and cuddly. And that's enough for him to earn a spot on the list, because my standards a low!

7.) Jiminy Cricket

I do think Kingdom Hearts influences this one: I think his role in the games is cute! And the idea of him being a sidekick/guide is definitely story material I'm toying with. Idk, I just find him charming. Maybe it's because the film is vintage now..maybe it's because I have a lot of cute cross stitch patterns with him on...

8.) Taran from The Black Cauldron

But, uh, not to be pretentious: he's better in the Chronicles of Prydain books. That's not hugely fair, because there's five books and The Black Cauldron is more a mash-up of the first two, so Taran's arc is longer and more spread out in the novels. The sword is dealt with a lot more poingantly, and the reveal of his parents? Very good!

With the Disney version I guess its just that he's Arthur if Arthur was a little more fun and a little more flawed. Taran's kind of a jerk, but he learns to be a hero. And that's catnip for me.

9.) Judy Hopps from Zootopia

(Unfortunately.) I don't have great feelings about Judy's job, or her policework, but I watched Zootopia a lot before moving out to go to uni, and really related to moving into some shoddy places persuing a goal that might not happen. I do love how upbeat Judy is; her optimism is a good rule to live by.

(The above gif was definitely me having a great time at the uni organised disco playing Busted, next to a housemate who was babysitting me until he had to walk me to the bus stop so I could home. (I had work early the next morning.))

10.) Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland

I really love Alice in Wonderland, but my favourite has always been the Cheshire Cat. I do love a cat, and the fact that he was pink and purple was the best to me as a child. I just think he's neat!

(Disney stop putting him on villains merchandise he is just a funky little guy!)

[the-headbop-wraith]

X

3 _ 42 The Land Time Forgot

  Part 4 - Final

 An extended time later, dedicated to the intense and unrelenting search for their friend, all of which resulted in no leads or inspiration to where he might’ve been hauled off. It was possible Arthur was still within the park, but it was also as likely that he was hauled out to a parking lot and smuggled away in an unmarked van. Vivi doubted those orchestrated events, given only one person was viewed dragging Arthur away. By the build they were larger than Arthur, not the same dimensions as Lewis, but enough muscles and mass to bully their thin friend into restraints.

 Nothing positive came from Mystery’s searching. It was harder for him to track scent trails if a possession or shoe didn’t make direct contact with the ground or standing structures, such as plants or fences. Likewise, the cart that got away was speculated to not have returned to the park grounds. If he was not within the park, their search was near impossible.

The remaining three made their way through the Historically Accurate Old West district, with Mystery leading the way sniffing on the air or scanning the ground. By now, the park was nearly deserted aside from the work crews roving around, cleaning up the plots of ambient landmarks – in the case of the Old West ™ - they touched up bleached out paint on stagecoaches and trimmed back cactuses amid a gravel patch. Technical crews descended on the rides, to give last checks before the attractions shut down for the evening. Natural light faded away, permitting the intense lamps dotted across the park to award visibility to the current groups.

 “This isn’t working,” Lewis noted. “We just have to go by the security offices and see about examining those cameras.”

 Vivi sighed. “I know you’re right, but searching through all those cameras can lead us to the same situation. Trying to figure out where they went, after the train.” She paused for a moment and observed the work crews, expertly raking the gravel around a tall saguaro cactus.

 Asking people if they saw a ‘lizard man’ driving a golf cart around, had warranted many obtuse gawks, gaggles, and some giggles. Most people thought they were acting out some sort of park gag or something, and a few others asked if a hidden camera was involved. People.

 “It would be a lead though,” Vivi supposed. She gave a whistle, and Mystery whipped his head up.

 “Better than nothing,” Lewis quipped.

 Unbeknownst to the group, a golf cart rolled through the pathway of the Historically Accurate Old West district. The vehicle only halted when the driver spied the group from a distance, headed for the district exit. The driver wore a park merch hoody, and under the rustic eave of a shut-up memento shop, the shadows draped them near completely.

 “There they are,” he muttered, exasperated. He struck the steering wheel, then pulled up the phone. The pale light of the screen traced across the lower features of his face, and a downcast frown. “Last warning. There won’t be another.”

  __

  Darkness pressed in upon the expanse of the storage chamber. The noises outside, the screaming and thunder of music rolled off an hour or something ago. There was no certifiable way to figure how much time passed, aside from the pins and needles prickling through his arms, and the claws pinching into his sides.

 He didn’t recall when the golf cart lost power. It was motionless, and the steady drone of electric current – something he was accustomed to with car batteries – brought about an unnatural stillness. Like being stuck in a long abandoned, and likely haunted house. Arthur shivered.

 No response was coming from the Allosaur. It remained dormant and stiff, some of its features became perceivable as the gloom molded around his senses. He couldn’t see it, but he could perceive the presence of its hull. And the cheese-shredder claws locked into his vest.

 At this point, his vest must have been reduced to ribbons. He worked diligently for the past hour, with his wrists bent and knotted into his lower back. Through a grand deal of effort and shifting, cautiously biding his actions by the minute – fearful that any drastic movement might activate the machine (and then what he didn’t know, and he didn’t want to find out) – Arthur managed to haul his entire body up by a mere foot. But that meager amount of transfer set his bound wrists high enough to reach the Allosaur’s sharp talons, where he rubbed the thin fabric of cloth. He was exhausted and hungry, the circulation in his arms hummed. Too focused on the work, laboring to fix this latest fuck up.

 The bind on his wrists snapped. Arthur wriggled, twisting his legs beneath him. With the Allosaur’s talons latched around his torso, he was forced to squirm upward. It didn’t have a grip over his shoulders, which permitted him to get one arm free. He hesitated, thus far the Allosaur hadn’t budge, and the servos remained locked. With a lot more twisting and more effort, he heaved his waist free—

 And plummeted to the floor at Allosaur’s feet. The dust swirled around his head, and he sneezed. No response and no shift from the Allosaur. Movement. It was waiting on movement. If he could get his legs free, he might could outrun it.

 As was suspected, the claws of the Allosaur feet were sharp. He rolled his legs over and, with some fumbling knocked the binds against the dagger claw of a toe.

 Without warning the Allosaur shifted, the machine whirred to life. Arthur cringed down, trying to make himself as small and minuscule as possible. Damn! DamnDamnDamn! He winced. The animatronic creaked to life and took a step. It was moving… away? It didn’t notice him? Unable to see, Arthur remained stony and alert. The hissing hydraulics and low grumble of the mechanical dinosaur continued, becoming fainter as it roamed further away. It wasn’t coming back. Of course, it shouldn’t. The machine only knew what the puppeteer told it.

 He grappled with the bind on his ankles, tearing out bits and chunks of the threads until his legs could rip the sash free. Then, he stumbled through the murk, up until he collided with the golf cart. He stilled upon impact, certain the machine would come thundering back with a shriek. That didn’t happen. It was called away, and he was fearful of why.

 Where was it? The guy dumped it all in— Found it! He unrolled the magazine, and groped around for his phone. The screen lit up when he brushed it, and he was immediately thumbing through the contact list. Shit! He needed to get moving!

 Arthur shoved the essentials back into his pockets, save for the magazines. He used the light of his phone to gather his bearings and began moving. “Pick up, c’mon,” he grumbled.

 The third ring got a response. “Arthur!” Vivi screeched, “Where are you?”

 “I’m in the Bahamas, having the time of my life,” he groused.

 “Arthur…” she growled, over the line.

 “I dunno!”

 Lewis was in the background, yelping, “What ya mean, y’don’t know?”

 “I didn’t write up a detailed map of where he took me!” He tossed an arm high, as if they could witness the exasperation. “I’m just calling to say I’m dandee, and also I hope you three are prepped for bagging dino.” He slowed down some when the noises of the Allosaur’s jog echoed ahead. He didn’t want to test its limits, or intents. “I think it’s got your scent.”

 In the background flew some fervent discussion, Mystery barking, and Lewis proclaiming they are not prepared at all.

 “Where are you?” Vivi returned.

 “I. don’t. Know.” The floor slopped beneath his feet and he nearly tumbled. The Allosaurs reverberating march continued ahead, stinted by the curvature of the corridor. “I’m trying to get out of here, so I’m following the Allo. You guys should probably think of something, get to work. I’ll call you back here in a bit.”

 “What’re you gunna do?” Lewis called. “Art?”

 “I sure as hell ain’t gunna lasso the thing.” He had to slow down at the base of the slope and tone the voice down. Having the pitiful light of the phone didn’t benefit his vision in the abyss surrounding him, but he could make out the noises of… a metal creaking. Familiar metal creaking. The door. That was the entrance. “I’m gonna keep tabs on it, while I can. I’ll call you if anything changes.” He hung up, barring further discussion or argument to follow. Knowing Vivi, she wouldn’t waste time calling back.

 The gate clinked, and a bar of light sliced through the barrier of black. The Allosaur’s feathered shape squeezed through the thin veil, its tail zipped out of sight. From a distance, Arthur pursued, cautious of moving through the entry too quickly. He needed to get outside and get his bearings, reconnect with the others.

 It was a short ascent to reach the ground floor and the district pathway. The walls surrounding him appeared to be brick, and the ground cobblestone themed. Arthur hurried the remainder of the way out of the alley for cast access, and stopped on the curb to catch his breath. It felt good to drink in that fresh air, after hours trapped in the musty storage chamber.

 Upon raising his head back, he choked on the air. Or maybe that was a bug, buzzing around. Or it was the fresh air, and the shock.

 Across from him stood the Allosaur, stooped and snarling. That wasn’t so terrifying since it wasn’t facing him. What stole his breath away were the figures directly in its line of sight, those cutouts he knew better than anything else in the world.

 They actually didn’t have a lot of time to prep.

 The team was well on their way to security headquarters when the call came through. Arthur was all right, excited and out of breath but he managed to make a call. It was a lot to unpack, where to even begin? Then the Allosaur emerged from a narrow crevice in the castles wall. Lewis spied it first, and sagged Vivi by the shoulder before she could take another step.

 Allo locked onto them immediately. It crouched down and emitted a low, deadly snarl.

 Vivi leaned toward Lewis. “Maybe it’s vision is based on movement.”

 “This isn’t a movie,” Lewis warned. Regardless, he pegged survival on not moving.

 One of the golfcarts driven by the maintenance crews cruised by, like a tumbleweed sweeping across an old western set. The Mystery Skulls watched it go on its way and keep going; the Allosaur didn’t shift an inch.

 Woof.

 “New plan,” Lewis hissed. He began pushing Vivi by the shoulders. “Scram while the scrammin’ is good.”

 At once the Allosaur flexed the talons decorating its arms and gave a grating growl. It coiled back, gears shifting in its spine and ankles as it measured out its weight. Before it could launch, a screeching theme song began playing… off at its side. The Allosaur shuddered, and swung its snout

 Arthur was in mad dash across the pathway, phone held above his head. “Hey guys! Small world!” He gave a piercing wail when the Allosaur gave chase.

 Lewis face palmed. “What’re you doing man?!”

 A mock crystal display decorated the center of the pathway, with small multicolored chambers, and light glittering within. Arthur ducked into the small crawl space. “Buy ya some time!” He zipped through on his hands and feet; the display was built for smaller guests, with twisting tunnels and chambers within. The Allosaur got its head trapped at the entrance, while Arthur scrambled through the whole thing like a hamster.

 “Guys got the control!” Arthur sprang from the exit slide, and swung his phone up high. “He has to be somewhere around here!”

 Vivi cupped her hands around her mouth. “What doe she look like?” Lewis tapped her on the shoulder.

 “Gotta be someone around here, watching – keeping tabs.” He ran over to a cobblestone wall and leapt onto it, adding some height to his impressive stance. He curled his hands over his brows and began scoping the area.

 Vivi grabbed Mystery by the collar. “Go take care of Artie in case he runs out of lives.”

 Mystery whimpered and turned his lips down. No, you can’t be serious!

 “You got two pairs of legs he’s got one,” Vivi scolded. “It’s just a boring old machine.”

 RAWWR!

 “With teeth. Go!” She pushed Mystery off, until he got his legs working and galloped on his way. Then, she raced over to the wall where Lewis stood and climbed up. Lewis reached down and took her arm, he hoisted her all the way up to plop down onto his shoulders.

 “Not seein’ much. Aside from a giant chicken chasing a scrawny worm.”

 Vivi got into Lewis backpack and pulled out a uniocular. “The phone. He might see what our dino sees.”

 “Only what the dino sees,” Lewis speculated. He began walking along the wall top, keeping his balance despite Vivi’s insistent leaning and tugging on his shirt collar. “Did Allo hear Arthur, or did our guy see Arthur first?”

 “That’s a good question!” Vivi winced, and focused her attention the opposite way Lewis was facing. “Lew!”

 “Present.” He reached up for Vivi, to stop her from toppling off. She leaned down over his head, took his chin and angled his view around.

 “Over yonder.”

 Lewis twisted around and did his best to align his view of sight, with whatever Vivi was fixated on. It wasn’t hard to make out, a vague silhouette fitted at a balcony of some tavern themed building. The figure was not paying heed to the surroundings, but focused on the softly glowing device in their hands.

 “They could just be slacking off, and texting somebody,” he offered.. Vivi began slipping off his shoulders, easing down to the wall by her own accord.

 The figure moved their interest from the comforting glimmer of their phone, and spied Vivi with Lewis, inspecting their stance. With a jolt, the person swung away and dove off into the gloom of the balcony – towards a door or alternative exit.

 “Sure,” Vivi mocked. She tugged Lewis off the wall to ground level with her.

 “Hey!” Lewis harked, “You won’t get away this time!” He started running, leading Vivi by the hand. She couldn’t help the sappy smile set on her face. Classic Lewis.

 The door to the shop was locked tight. Lewis barreled into it and gave it a firm shake, rattling the plexiglass. “Damn!”

 Vivi fixed her headband. “He’d have gotten away anyway, by time Arth—” A sound caught her immediate attention and she whipped around. The guy had tripped, or had fallen, or stumbled on something – point was he was sneaking off behind them. The guy twisted around and scrambled on the descending steps as they flopped about, trying to dart one way or the other in the failed retreat.

 “You there!” she screamed, pointing.

 The person pulled their legs under them and charged off, towards a cluster of maintenance workers repairing a short fence post and the frayed rope. They slapped their hands over their hoody, keeping it in place while they zoomed.

 “You might as well stop running!” she hooted, taking pursuit. “We’ve done this gig a dozen times.”

 “Huh?” A touch oblivious, Lewis spun about searching for his teammate. “I uh… yeah! It’s over for you now!”

 The cloaked figure dove into one of the unguarded golfcarts and hit the acceleration. His first and only thought get away from these nuts; the last thought he had, and of miniscule importance, was the fact he dropped the phone somewhere.

 __

 It would be the most excellent of days if Arthur got out of this without getting snapped in two. He managed to gather some speed and distance on the mecha dino by taking a downward sloping path, which was open only to the maintenance vehicles and golf carts. The path was narrow, but didn’t pause the Allosaur at all in its pursuit; it did however force the machine to slow its movement in order to calibrate for the offset in its balance. That didn’t stop it from hissing and being a friggin’ terrifying attraction.

 Mystery gave a yip and hopped the decorative little lattice fence and plopped into a lush shrubbery plot. The garden ran either side of the pathway and was aesthetic in its mission to conceal the vehicles as they roamed. Light flashed through the canopy of the grove, the patterns glittered across Mystery’s white pelt and flashed over his glasses. He gave a sequence of yips as he burst through the undergrowth.

 In a breathy lunge, Arthur followed the pooch. “Getting that cardio, eh Misty?” The response was a bark. “Good tu hear!” He stumbled when scrambled off the clear path and into the thicket, his shoelaces snagging on the sinister crooked limbs.

 The two burst from the brush, leaves flying everywhere. Arthur spat out a few as he kept pace, taking the left that Mystery tilted into. A small grouping of the groundskeepers halted work blowing leaves and trimming trees, in order to behold the scene. Up until the Allosaur crashed from the barrier of trees, a terrible shriek igniting from its sound system. They scattered with yelps and dives.

 Mystery ducked and vaulted over metal guard rails, the scene encircling the zone displayed bright colored metal and cement. Arthur was above, scrambling atop the bars like some anime character in intense training. He slipped on the third to last and tumbled, crashing within the barriers. Mystery zipped back over and took his shredded vast sleeve and dragged him off behind a wall.

 A few meters away, the Allosaur came to a halt and stood steely on the pavement. Slowly and with deliberate precision, its head began moving side-to-side scanning the walls and fabrication of the park, examining cement walls and decorative displays, labeling attractions and directions to rides. Nothing caught it’s attention, despite crew members racing around in the background and bailing the site.

 Behind the wall, Arthur was struggling to calm his panting. A little black paw pressed over his lips. He frowned. “Where have those been, Mister?”

 Mystery snorted.

 “You!” Someone snapped, from the side. Arthur’s face paled and her jerked, knocking Mystery off his lap. “What d’you think you’re doing here?” The guy in a park uniform carried a clipboard, metal box combo – the same or near identical to ones used at the shop. This guy tugged at the communicator clipped to his shoulder, a garble of obnoxious static and overlaying conversations rolled through.

 “Security! I got some kid here, snuck into the park.” He took his thumb off the transmitter. “Stay put right where you are. Don’t even breathe.”

 Mystery grimaced, and brought a paw to his face. “Shh!”

 “Dude!” Arthur snapped, on the verge of tears. “Shaddup!”

 The guy blinked, clear astonishment radiating from him. “Don’t you dare tell me to shut up! You know how much trouble—”

 A bellowing yowl cut him off.

 “What was that!?”

 “Fuck!” Both Arthur and Mystery sprang up and darted around either side of the guy, provoking him to whirl around like a top.

 An instant later, the Allosaur clambered over the metal dividers of the ride entrance. Once it bypassed the obstacles, it swung its snout and all its teeth to the ride mechanic.

 “Ho-shit!” The mechanic properly noped out and took a dive into the nearest shrubs.

 It was too late for Arthur and Mystery, the two dashed down the ride dock. An open door to the side caught the hounds immediate interest and he shot in, followed by Arthur. Arthur flipped the lights off and shut the door, but there was no lock.

 “Not like it’d use the handle.” A dull thump broke his fantasy of safety, and he looked over to the Plexiglas barrier that displayed the full length of the ride, the rollercoaster train, and the Allosaur glaring in. “Is… that bullet proof? Ya think?”

 Mystery woofed. Does it really matter, ya think?

 The Allosaur shoved its snout against the clear barrier, its eyes flashing ominously in the lights cast by the attraction twisting around it.  A crack formed in the window, but the substance held firm. Snarling and hissing, it slammed its head and claws against the window. The clear material snapped in two, one portion warped and slid out of the frame. The Allosaur began climbing through, its jaws snapped inches from Arthur’s face.

 He let loose an ear splinting wail and snatched up an empty Styrofoam cup. The projectile bounced off the menacing snout. Mystery yapped and dove under the Allosaurs line of sight, he stopped at the door and stood on his rear legs scrambling at the door handle.

 “Are you nuts?!” he shrieked.

 Mystery barked, his dogs ears bobbing. Enjoy your corner!

 Arthur cursed and, following a grand deal of prayer, crawled under the Allosaur’s gnashing jaws. He was still crawling on his stomach, though he was very clear of the dinosaurs reach, even when he reached the door. With a flick of his wrist, the door popped open and Mystery bounded out.

 The Allosaur twisted, its reading and interpretation code aware its quarry was escaping. Yet, it was confined by the shattered barrier. It wriggled, talons tearing at the control panel beneath it. Lights rolling throughout the coaster track blazed, and with a gush of hydraulics not from within the mecha dino, the train carts became active. The animatronic continued the fight to dislodge itself and renew pursuit, all before it had successfully wriggled lose. Its tail swung dangerously through the docking station, nearly taking off Arthur’s head.

 Luckily he was spry and managed to stunt roll, following with a few rolls that relocated him far beyond the Allosaur’s range of movement. Mystery was galloping ahead, going for the divers end and the cultivated grove ahead.

 With a final wrench the Allosaur tore the Plexiglas loose, and swung its shoulders free. It gave chase after the targets, lunging and snapping.

 Arthur wobbled, nearly pitching over the side of the dock. The rollercoaster cart chugged into view on the leveled track, and he made the leap. “Mystery!” He whistled, and waved the dog over.

 The hound wasn’t the dinosaurs immediate focus, he still cowered beneath the feet when it snapped out. On Arthur’s lead, he sprang like a gazelle and landed gracefully on the front cart. Then, the coaster hit the divider in the track and the Mystery dog lost his balance and spiraled sideways, off the vehicle and into the shrubs below.

 “Whoa, wait! Where’d you go?” Arthur leaned over, searching the five or something foot drop. The divider activated a failsafe in the rollercoaster’s train cart, and the safety bar swung downward over Arthur’s arm, braced to the headrest. “Um?” At first, he mistaken the error as an easy fix. Pull the bar up and loose. But it was a safety mechanism, with a manual override in the control office. Somewhere. He jerked at the bar, even as the coaster train began up the steep incline that initiated the ride. “Fuck… fuck-fuck-fuck! Oh my fucks!” He tried to angle his knee against the backrest, the bar was really digging into his arm. “Feck-fo-FREK!”

 Below, the Allosaur watched with perceivable agitation as the roller coaster train inched out of range. Unable to reach its target for the time, it swung away and sought out a new location to reengage.

 There was no better option open to Arthur, but hunker down and brace himself. His mind ran through the threats and dangers, what sort of coaster was this? He didn’t see. The g-force could be enough to rip his arm off, he would be lucky if he only suffered a broken limb. Worse could happen, if he didn’t wedge himself down good and tight.

 The coaster train peaked at the initiating drop, and Arthur nearly blacked out. A ninety-degree drop loomed, and illuminated here and there were the more prominent twisty-curves of the ride. He tasted blood, he either bit his lip or his tongue, he wasn’t sure which. The others, they had no idea where he was. There was Mystery, but where was he?

 A pensive hiss issued from the coaster train when it paused and drew out the agonizing seconds. He patted through his vest and pants, searching for his phone. Then the train slid forward, gaining speed as the vehicle dipped into its full and unrestrained plummet. Its wheels rattled and the whole train vibrated. Arthur held on for dear life and shrieked.

  __

  “I say the guy ditched the giddup, and is somewhere mingling with the work crews,” Lewis theorized. He was waiting for Vivi to catch her breath, near a fence and a lush plot of trees. The acreage was mostly thick shrubbery growing beside a sheer and expansive cliff face. “Or, he could be hiding anywhere.” One hand cradled his chin, while he examined the fostered brush.

 Some of the lights across the park went off for the long hours of the night, while others remained on to stylize the attraction for all hours of the late. And also safety ordinances with aircraft and tall structures. The intrusive lamps were not the same as the on-ride decorative colors and aesthetic luminosities which thrilled the riders.

 “We need Mystery,” Vivi spoke, still gasping and hanging off the fence. “More importantly, we need to get that dino wrangled. It’s really thrown a wrench in the situation.”

 “Yeah,” Lewis huffed, trying to blow hair out of his eyes. “It kinda doesn’t let up, huh?” He bent a brow at Vivi when she snapped her head up.

 “I think something’s gone wrong. My Arthur senses are tingling.” She looked around. The scenery was placid, the maintenance guys doing their thing, not paying them any mind.

 “‘Arthur senses’?” Lewis mused, with a smirk. “Is that a thing now?”

 “I’m gonna start it, watch me!” She crossed her arms and nodded, affirming dedication.

 “Look, I’m certain the Allo didn’t catch him, or Mystery.”

 The careening thunder of the roller coaster ttain swooping by on a nearby, previously cold track, caught his focus for the moment. The churning rumble was no contest to the distinct pitch of wailing assaulting the evening sky, rising in intensity as the whole cart blasted by and then dying out as the coaster train shot out of an inverted twirl. Both Vivi and Lewis observed, deadpan.

 “Technically speaking,” he began, “it didn’t catch him.”

 Vivi fixed her glasses, cleaned them, then set them back on her face. “Somehow, I think this is worst.”

 Across the pathway, the maintenance workers began diving and bolting for the cover of the landscapes they were working around or in. The Allosaur went charging through, a white blur right in its sights.

 “All right,” she grumbled. “Allosaur two, us zilch.”

 Lewis spun around and hoped the fence. “But who’s keeping score?” He bypassed one of the signs, warning of danger to bodily harm due to the coasters proximity. A slope eased down, to the low point the coaster would pass through. In the distance, Arthur’s harrowing squeal became more pronounced.

 “Lew!” Vivi yelped, leaning over the first barrier. “What d’ya think you’re doing? Danger!”

 He waved over his shoulder. “No worries! I’m a professional!”

 “Of what?! Stunts gone wrong?” Vivi hit her fist to the barrier and winced. She wrenched around, the Allosaur gave a grating and ravenous snarl. “I’ve just about had enough of this!” In the chase of the man in the mask, or shroud, or whatever, they sped through the game zone. There were more food vendors within, along with pistol games that utilized water guns, and some that used projectile disks. If she had to, she’d go Rambo on that hunk of metal.

 In the background, Mystery was still leading the mecha dino across the district. He dove under a set of que ropes, scrambling like a spider among the poles. The Allosaur came to a stuttering halt and swayed, its feet pawed at the ground as it sidestepped. Vivi shot by without a glance, toward the entrance of the arcade and carnie games.

 While Vivi took off to initiate a fool proof plan, Lewis swung over the last and tallest fence, to place himself within the rollercoaster track lane. Above, the hurtling cart came whizzing through at a speed peaking on fifty miles an hour, minimum. Along with it, the terrorized passenger screeching.

 “Hold on Artie!” Lewis sprinted, following the overhead track as it jerked and spiraled.

 “Are you nuts?” Arthur howled. He was losing vigor, barely able to keep his legs within the coaster box. “NO! Lew! It’s too— AARRRRRRRRRRRGH!” The rollercoaster twisted and hurtled downward into a steep dip, the track cleaved through an alcove within the ground. When the full train passed through the chasm, it decelerated significantly – enough that Lewis could leap up and snag that last cart, without losing a hand or being belted aside like a ragdoll.

 “Hah! Nailed it—” Lewis nearly missed latching onto the safety bar, a fraction before the whole train flew into a sharp series of loops. Once again, the coaster is off on its bullshit, accelerating to sixty-five or something miles per hour, diving and curving.

 Whenever the coaster calmed down for a sporadic pause, Lewis inched up a cart. It was tedious, as the cart dividers were somewhat sleek and slippery from being cleaned. The full body braces assisted, in that they were sturdy and didn’t unhook.

 “Don’t worry, I’m here!” Lewis proclaimed, when he at last reached Arthur.

 Arthur glared back as the coaster inched its way up the steep climb, back at square one. “WHY! Didn’t you just shut off the coaster?”

 The grin on Lewis’ face dissolved. “Um, well, that might’ve been a worthwhile option….”

 “You meathead!”

 “Hey, I’m not the mechanic here!”

 Once more, Arthur fought at his arm trapped in the brace. “We’re both gunna DAI, and then we’ll be the latest attractions for this park!”

 “Think positive, Artie!” Lewis climbed onto the first and foremost train cart and gave the device a quick look over.

 “It’s jammed!” He tried to squeeze down, and jam his elbow under the brace. However, he was short on energy to supply, and flopped sideways when he lost his footing. Lewis wrapped an arm around his shoulder and grabbed ahold of the brace.

 “Take it easy, I’ll get you off.” The coaster came to the topmost of its track and paused. Lewis frowned. “Darn.”

 “Trust me,” Arthur wheezed, “The first nine times, and you get used to it.” They flew into the drop, and Arthur was pretty certain Lewis was clinging to him so he wouldn’t get thrown off. “Fun, eh?!”

 “We’re gunna DAI!”

 “That’s the spirit!” Arthur cackled.

 The coaster accelerated into a chute and eased off the speed, but it rumbled on with sinister purpose. Lewis released his grip on Arthur. “Brace yourself!”

 Before Arthur could inquire why, or really prepare, Lewis smashed his knee against the brace forcing the bar down hard against Arthur’s already strained arm. A pitiful creaking lurched from Arthur’s gullet as the pain zipped through his arm.

 “Sorry! Had to reset the mechanism,” Lewis huffed. He shoved the bar up and out of the way, but doubled down on restraining Arthur to the coaster cart, as the train swung into another reckless dive. His sneakers skipped across the slippery metal plate of the floor, while the coaster vibrated along the tracks.

 Down below, one of the canopies for the prize corner loomed. It was the basket hoop toss, and there was a sizable net stretched between the poles on the three sides.

 Lewis didn’t get the chance to warn Arthur. His shoe already snapped loose, and it was either get flung like a marionette or choose a landing pad. The support of the roller coaster whistled by his ear, he wasn’t really certain if they would hit the mark he aimed for – given the velocity and trajectory of the coaster’s movement. It was swinging into a turn, gaining momentum. Arthur tried to get out some other sort of noise, but he was likely still stunned from his arm that he couldn’t generate the sort of sound appropriate to free flight.

 The entire basketball court collapsed when Lewis hit the bar, which suspended one side of the nets. Fortunately, he and Arthur tumbled into the prize corral beneath, among the giant stuffed toys and packaged sport balls. A cacophony of squeaks and deflating balloons, among the toppled metal bars punctuated all ambition for recovery.

 “Ow….” Arthur groaned. “Lew. Why?”

 “I just wanted off,” he moaned. “No matter the cost.”

 “Was it worth it?”

 “Ask me in the morning.”

 “Lew.”

 “Hunh?”

 “If it’s not too much trouble… could you get off me?”

 It took several agonizing minutes for the two to untangle from the knotted snare, the mountain of cushy prizes, and each other; all in near total darkness. Aside from a lamp gleaming down on the side of the coaster, and it whooshing by periodically and rattling around the tracks, they might’ve lost track of where they’d dropped. Lewis dragged Arthur out by the collar of his vest, some of the netting remained snagged on his scrawny limbs.

 “C’mon Art, use your feet.”

 “I have been running… for five years now.” He caught himself on his fists, before his nose could smack the pavement. “Wha’s that?”

 A blazing shape zigzagged around the faux tents of carnie games, speeding as it closed in on Lewis and Arthur. At last it came in for a landing, skidding right into Arthur’s face. Lewis knelt and pet the dog.

 “Wait,” the taller figure said, a flash of worry in his face. “Wait-wait-wait… last I saw you—”

 The harking cry of the Allosaur obliterated through the screech of the roller coaster surging through, one more. It’s head twitched and the talons on its fists opened, another peeling shriek plunged through the open air as it lunged, teeth glistening..

 Arthur yelped and flipped over, fighting with his sneakers tangled in the net still. Lewis snatched up one of the basketballs and threw it at the Allosaur with all his might, the force and speed would’ve been something to admire. The sports ball merely deflected off the dinosaurs hard plastic frame. Arthur yowled and held Mystery tight—

 “KII-YAHH!”

 Everyone dove to the side, Lewis one way and Arthur with Mystery to the other. The Allosaur kept going, but it was stumbling and its feet came down in a frenzy when it lost all balance. In a fumbled miss step, the animatronic stalled and spun three times then came down in a heap beside the netted basket hoop tangle.

 Likewise, Vivi was still spinning, the bat clasped in her hands whizzing through the air before she crashed into one of the awning shields tied over a carnival game.

 “Vivi!” Lewis leapt out from behind the wall he took shelter beside, recoiling immediately when the Allosaur’s head skid into the corner of the solid barrier.

 “Did you see that!” Vivi whooped. She jumped up and swung the bat again, like a pro-pitcher. “Lew, you were all ‘I’m gunna wrestle this dino crocodile Dun-Dee style!’ And Arthur, you’re legs got all tangled! What the heck?” She mimed out another thunder-bashing swing. “And I was like, ‘Don’t touch my dog!’ Wham!”

 Arthur poked his head up from behind a stage set, Mystery latched to his skull like a koala. “Holy shit.”

 Lewis gawked. “I think I’m in love.”

 Arthur inched around and prodded the mechanical head with his foot. “Gimmie a break. All this time, we just had to release Vivi on it with a baseball bat. Really?”

 “Well,” Lewis chuckled, “you did say the metal wasn’t very sustancial.” He stood by and let Arthur beat the living bolts out of the inactive mechanical head. “Guess it was all bark, and not bite.”

 Woof. Mystery let go of Arthur and dropped to the pavement. He moved aside of the drama and flopped over. Gimmie five minutes, folks.

 “Should you really be messing with that thing?” Lewis muttered. He took a full step back.

 “I’m gonna get my kicks in!”

 “Hey! Are you listening to me!” Vivi hurried over. “But seriously, you three okay? Mystery? All puppered out?” She leaned low using the bat as a cane, and gave the poor pooch a well-deserved head rub. “You had us worried, Artie. It’s a good thing you managed to get loose.”

 The dino head stuttered, the jaw quivered and the mechanical eyes twitched. Arthur jolted and scrambled behind Lewis.

 “You know how the movies go,” Lewis mentioned.

 Arthur peeked out. “This isn’t a movie. It should’ve shut down completely, with the power source severed.” He noted Lewis had a vacant and very concerned stare, and followed the line of sight to where the Allosaur was squirming. Trying to stand, with no head. “Welp, that looks horrifying!”

 Whatever calibrated the Allosaur’s balance was gone, and also it shuffled sideways onto the collapsed basket court netting. The talons couldn’t coordinate and untangle from the woven netting, forcing the thing to topple sideways over and over.

 “I… guess it’s not going anywhere?” Lewis speculated.

 “But did you see me? Wasn’t that amazing? I never swung so hard in my whole damn life!” Vivi threw herself at Lewis, and he caught her in his arms.

 “I was a bit preoccupied with not getting trampled. But yeah, that was something else!” Lewis was about to pull Vivi in closer, but his attention snapped to a figure a distance from their gathering. A secluded, isolated figure strategically placed within the shade of the arcade patio, sifting through the gloom only enough to view the fate of the Allosaur.

 When he refocused altogether, Vivi’s curiosity searched for the cause. She frowned when her eyes alit on the same suspect. “Let’s see if we can get around him and—” The spectator either got wise to their sudden shift in mood, or freaked out completely on the loss of their asset. They took off.

 Vivi tore out of Lewis’ arms and snatched up the bat. Losing no time, she darted around the corny carnival tent stations. “I’ve had it with you!” She lined up with the guy, still barred on one side by the boarder of the shuttered-up arcade wall. There was no time to waste. With a decisive swing, the bat went whirling through the air like a saw.

 And cracked the wall short of her target. The guy kept running, but cast a fretful look over their shoulder.

 “Drat!”

 Lewis charged up behind her, winding back his arm. “My turn!” The basketball flew like it was shot out of a cannon and slammed directly into the person’s back, launching them two feet into the air. “Score!”

 The person recovered quickly, though they hadn’t gotten their bearing together. Before they could take a full and not lopsided-tipsy step, Lewis grabbed them from behind. The two toppled forward, Lewis on top of the guy and holding one of his wrists.

 “We gunna do this quietly, or you wanna make it ugly?”

 “Let me go!” The person shouted. “You don’t have the right!”

 “We don’t, do we?” Vivi retorted. She knelt beside the guy as he struggled, but Lewis was pressing measured weight onto the person. “This is a citizens arrest, my fine fellow. It would be in your best interest to cooperate until the police arrive, and we can sort this all out.”

 “What am I being arrested for?”

 Lewis pulled the person’s hoody back. “Being shady as fuck, that’s one,” he muttered.

 “Trespassing,” Vivi quipped. “I don’t recognize you, which is interesting. But I know someone who might.”

 “You! You can’t do this!” he snarled. Lewis pulled his other arm back, and Vivi applied one of the parks unbreakable wrist bands. “This is unlawful! I’ll sue!”

 “Oh no, oh please don’t.” Lewis hefted the guy onto his feet and kept him steady. “In all my life, I have never been threatened in such a way. Oh, the sleepless nights I’ll suffer.” He ushered the guy ahead, making sure to keep his elbows restrained.

 “But did you see that pitch!” Vivi proclaimed. “Out of this world!”

 Lewis snickered. “Oh Dio mío, Vivi. Calm down.”

 When they returned to the site where the Allosaur had its head cleaved off, the animatronic nuisance was still wallowing in the tattered remnants of the basketball netting. Large squeaky toys and some of the sport balls rolled around, or completely pulverized by the broken machine struggling to function without essential system readers. It looked very much like a cocooned lizard, or a spool of finely spun thread – in a clunky mess.

 Above the wall where the Allosaur head dropped, Arthur sat with Mystery at his side; the dogs head resting on his lap. He was giving the tuckered pupper shoulder massages after his traumatic and daring evening.

 “Ooh, you really did get someone,” he praised. “Y’sure that’s the guy, though?”

 “Did you call the police?” Lewis prompted.

 Arthur cringed down. “That’s Vivi’s job.”

 “You really going to do this?” the guy seethed. “Assaulted me, and now you’re trying to frame me for some… crime!” He struggled at Lewis’ grip, but made no profound effort to break loose.

 Vivi whistled. The Mystery dog shot his head up, ears high. “Mystery, hunny. We have a very special job for you.”

 Mystery slid back from Arthur and did that dog stretch, with his fore paws stretched all the way forward and his dog claws stretched to their fullest. With a shake of his pelt, he did a roll and flopped off the backside of the wall. Arthur watched this play out, apathetic.

 “Absolutely,” Arthur chimed. “You’re our guy.”

 “This is slander!” The guy erupted. Arthur lunged over the wall to hide.

 Vivi hauled out her backpack and located her phone. “I’m callin’ the cops.”

 It wasn’t actually the police that Vivi called, it was the security office, then the security office reached out to the appropriate department. While they waited for security to show up, Lewis returned Arthur’s backpack to him, and Arthur got to work on compiling the evidence the group collected. This evidence included the pictures Lewis caught while he and Arthur investigated around the park, and serial numbers from the materials torn from the Allosaur’s arm. He stuffed all of this onto two USBs the police could have, which was standard procedure for the group.

 At length, Mystery trotted back over with something in his teeth.

 “Nice going,” Arthur praised. “Didn’t crack it or anything. Clean as a whistle.”

 Vivi snatched the phone from Arthur and held it up to the guy, currently seated on the inactive Allosaur head. “How ‘bout you unlock this for us?”

 He glared at the device, the locked screen gleamed in his face. “I’ve never seen this before. Ever. I have no idea what’s going on here.” He checked on Lewis at his side, keeping him stationary with his presence alone.

 “Mm hmm.” She swept away, and returned the phone back to Arthur. Without a word, Arthur began tapping at the screen. He knelt on the ground beside Mystery, while the hound observed with all the intensity of a teacher overseeing his student. “Yet, you’re not curious about all this crazy we got here.” She motioned a hand towards the broken Allosaur.

 The machine body at long last ceased moving. It looked creepy, bent and knotted up the way it was.

 “Question.” Arthur rose and moved closer to the guy, holding the phone all the way out to the full extent of his arm. “This you?”

 It was a selfie of the guy.

 Vivi took the phone and continued scrolling. “Was it really a good idea documenting the whole process of building your dino?”

 He scoffed. “You can’t prove I built it.”

 “You built animatronics though.” Vivi stuck the phone into a plastic baggy Arthur produced. “Not a lot of people can do that. Your friends, they have a very specialized skillset.” She took the baggy from Arthur and held it toward the guy. “You wouldn’t happen to have their pics on the phone, would you? Of course not, who would do that?”

 A large hand capped down on the guy’s shoulder, and Lewis stooped. “It would be a shame if they could be cited as accomplices. Not that we’d touch the topic, pero ya sabes, that is evidence for the authorities to pick—”

 “They let me go from the team,” the guy blurted. He dropped his gaze from Vivi’s unimpressed face, and scrutinized his shoes. “When they found out I used parts from another job, to build a substitute.”

 Vivi nodded. “You and your colleagues began work for a competitor to Fanatical Hypes ™, and that resulted in the bust contract. A violation. But then you took it upon yourself to sabotage Geoff’s park, and make him fold under the pressure of those lost profits, so he’d compensate for the assets. Do I have that right?”

 The guy took a deep breath. “It’s not that simple. It was a percentile in those cancelled payments, and they still have to do something with the skins. A lot of uppity businesses do this all the time, and commissions are hard enough to get right without the client throwing a fit in the midst of finalizations. And getting the courts to recognize contract agreements, it’s a bitch! You get that?”

 “Yeah,” Vivi uttered. “We know what that’s like.”

 Where he sat beside the wall, Mystery tilted his head and raised one ear.

 The guy dipped his head further. “Trust me, I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”

 “I sort of have a hard time believing the, ‘oh woes and pity me’ spiel,” Lewis grumbled. He still loomed over the cringing guy, face stern. “The animatronics you built.”

 “And programed,” Arthur prompted.

 “And programed. They’re not toys, they’re super dangerous when not handled correctly. You put an AI in a bulldozer that identifies as a raptor, and set it loose in a recreational setting.”

 “Lovin’ the PSA vibe.” Arthur remained seated by the wall working on his computer to compile essential info, fully engrossed in shuffling files. “Also, you kidnapped me and shoved lots of threats in my face.”

 “Did he?” Lewis growled. “That’s seriously F’ed up.”

 “Boys-boys.” Vivi pushed Lewis back, before he could… likely haul the guy off the ground and throttle him. “That’s not our business anymore. Now, this becomes law enforcement jurisdiction.” She pointed to a series of golfcarts ambling in their general direction. She looked to the guy. “Our job ended with the Allosaur’s capture. But I recommend you cooperate with the authorities. They’re usually a lot less forgiving than us.”

 “Y’know dude,” Arthur stood, and ejected one of the USBs from his computer. “You could’ve just not messed around with us. Taken the dishwasher with teeth and vamoosed. But making a statement, and gettin’ Geoff to crumble under the pressure meant more. You’re lucky, you know that.” He tossed the USB to Vivi.

 The guy frowned. “How am I lucky? I’m going to jail for this.”

 Arthur shrugged. “We stopped ya before this could escalate. You think soulless corporate would cave, and pay out what he’s not putting to use?” He shook his head, and sat on the wall, finishing up the last USB. “We got you before someone could get seriously hurt. But sure, it’s our fault.”

  The golf carts arrived and the enlisted law enforcement along with Fanatical Hypes ™ escort, took over the situation of officially taking the guy into custody. The engineers names was Yandel Jenkins, and there was a little more information about his history tied to the group of creatures builders that supplied assets to the theme park. However, since that was out of the Mystery Skulls hands, Arthur finished compiling and cross referencing the evidence that was collected and handed over the USBs. Whatever else the park security required, they’d assemble it on their own following involved statements.

 Hours later the group was on their way out of the park, it was very late and most the work crews fulfilling their nocturnal duties pilfered out. The area resumed relative normalcy, aside from the spare shift tugged out to organize the area where the Allosaur fell. That was way on the far side of the park.

 “Seriously a shame,” Arthur was saying, as the crew discussed the recent case. They were going through the events, trying to figure who was where when this or that situation came about. And how Arthur managed to get stuck on a roller coaster. “All that work and talent. I don’t get why people like him do it.” He walked with his arms folded behind his head, stretching out his aching muscles from where the Allosaur pinched him.

 Lewis curled a thoughtful hand over his chin. “Well, if you’re company anticipated that extra point something percentage in incurring payments, it can mean the difference in leasing and supplies. Not saying our guy was in the right, but it’s something to regard when reviewing possible motivations.”

 “Oh yeah, I guess,” Arthur mumbled.

 “My family started their own business,” Lewis elaborated. “Any little profit you can squeeze out go towards improving your services, or the product. They did it without cutting corners, and it was heckin’ hard. Food expires fast, car parts and oil has a longer shelf life.”

 Arthur shrugged.

 “I guess they’ll have the park opened tomorrow and everything,” Vivi supposed. They made their way down the last stretch, the main road to the grand entrance and exit. “We can come on by and see how it looks. Catch some more rides, if we want. Certify those lifetime passes.”

 Mystery gave a little yap and bounced ahead. He wouldn’t need to wear that ridiculous vest, either.

 A low groan issued from Arthur, and he fitted his hands down over his face. “I dunno, I’m kinda all vacationed out. I think I’m ready to hit the road. Seriously missin’ the cramped space of the van.”

 “What about the food?” Vivi prompted. “Free food. Drinks. Treats. Desserts. Concessions.”

 “Mehhh….” Mystery padded over and walked beside Arthur’s legs, bumping his knees. “Pass. Free stuff is great, but kinda burnt out on carnie goodies. Nothing beats Pepper Paradiso’s. ‘Least, when someone’s lil sisters aren’t sabotaging a perfectly good sundae.”

 Lewis groaned. “I don’t even know how that’s possible. Lechería is supposed to counteract the burn.”

 “Who said that was dairy?”

 Vivi tried very hard not to giggle. “If that’s the final verdict, we can start snooping on where we’ll go next. Hmm? Speaking of which.” She pulled her backpack around to her front, and opened it from the side. “Got a something for our scrapbook.” Unanimously, Arthur and Lewis groaned. “I promise it’s really good.”

 Pulling out a card, she began moving to one of the tall lampposts that stood beside the pathway. “Check it.” The three followed.

 “Oh please, is that what I think it is.” Arthur was first to take the side of the stiff booklet, and shifted it by a fraction under the light. “No, Vivi!”

 “What?” Lewis posed. Arthur handed him the card, and he flipped the cover back. “Oh no! Vivi!”

 She pulled her collar higher over her lower face. “The machine automatically printed it, I guess. I couldn’t leave it, you both look… excited.”

 “Excitement is an understatement!” Arthur whooped. He reached for the card, but Lewis held it up high out of his reach. “Gimmie! I don’t want my near-death experience immortalized!”

 Lewis backed away, pushing Arthur off before he could climb up his shoulders. “C’mon Artie! Calm down, we got out of this unscathed.”

 “Unscathed! My arm is numb still!”

 “Relatively,” Lewis insisted. “It’s a memento. We’ll keep it, and check it out sometimes to remind us to be more careful. Suena bien?” He arched his arm high over Arthur’s head, and handed the card back to Vivi. She secluded it away in her backpack, where it would be safe.

 “Mark my words!” Arthur hastened his steps, leaving the protective cone of light. “When you least expect it, I’ll chuck that incriminating evidence!” Mystery barked and scurried after him.

 “Admit it!” Vivi slapped an arm around Arthur’s lower back. “You love it! Ten years from now, we’ll have a great ol’laugh.”

 Lewis joined on the other side, nearly throwing the two over as he put his arm around Arthur’s shoulders. “I’m laughin’ right now. Don’t deny it. You’re smiling. Don’t smile, Arthur.”

 “Stop! That’s not fair!” Arthur capped his hands over his face and muffled a scream.

 “Try not to smile Arthur,” Vivi goaded.

 “Oh, he’s blushing!”

 “It’s too dark to see blushing,” Arthur countered. Regardless, he still fought to hide his face all the more. “Jerks.”

 “Don’t blush Arthur,” Vivi chimed. “Don’t—”

 Arthur broke free and took off in a run. “Stop it! You’re ganging up on me!”

 With a jolly bark, Mystery galloped beside Arthur, his dog collar jingling. He gave off a few yips, nearly stumbling when he veered into Arthur’s legs.

 “No we’re not!” Lewis called, staggering into the chase. Vivi skipped along, taking on a couple leaping bounds as they flashed under the bars of light.

 “What are you trying to hide Arthur!” From the distance, Mystery barked. “Really?”

 “No! Never!” Arthur vaulted through the tall cage of the turnstile and kept going. “I promise!”

 Lewis crashed into the turnstile and got stuck. “You’re laughing! Whoa… HEY!” Arthur’s wild cackling rang across the dark parking lot. “HEY!”

 Vivi caught up to Lewis and stood, observing. “Um?”

 “A little help!”

 She sighed, and got out a flashlight. “You tried to follow Arthur.” She clicked on the light. “He kinda slipped through the side here. Just come back through, carefully.”

 “OoOOh.” Lewis moved back and shuffled into the opposing slot, where guests were meant to exit. Vivi crammed in with him, and the two nearly got stuck again. However, with some shoving and bickering the two made their way out safely, and caught up to Arthur and Mystery hurtling with reckless abandon.

 Concluding a case was not always so brimming with mirth or effortless, despite how well everything turned out. There had been plenty of cases they walked out on, Failed Cases, too dangerous to continue through to a final conclusion. When they had the chance to celebrate, the team sometimes went all out. Or, such as the case with the Allosaur, it felt better to get back on the road and move on. Sometimes staying too long in one location, one that was not home base, it didn’t rejuvenate like the endless road.

 No doubt though, by the time they arrived – or collided – with the next case, they would be primed and ready to tackle the demands. There would be fascinating creatures, thrilling perils, and challenges the Mystery Skulls crew would meet.

 The night swirled around them, the four racing through the empty parking lot. It was their mission to seek out mysteries, prove what they could or debunk the frauds. Nothing but the passion for work and the ambition to find the truth, and perhaps a steady supply of coffee, fast-food, and junky tabloids.

[doomedandstoned]

To Helltown & Back: Electric Citizen’s Laura Dolan Speaks

~By Jamie LaRose~

Photographs by Sally Townsend

My recent visit with Laura Dolan, the commanding winger of Cincinnati’s Electric Citizen, was both enlightening and welcomed. She is a vegan, a lover of classic cars, and a well-experienced thrift store fashionista. I remember meeting Laura in 2014, when Satyress had the pleasure of playing a show with Electric Citizen and Fu Manchu at Dante’s in Portland, Oregon. I found the band to be a delightful, friendly, and talented bunch. Electric Citizen is currently on tour with Monster Magnet in support of the new album, 'Helltown' (2018 - RidingEasy Records). Their third album is reminiscent of their first, 'Sateen' (2014), with its raw, powerful sound. This is a great Cincinnati Northside-true album, written, recorded, engineered, and inspired by “Hell Town” itself. Get your dose of heavy psychedelic healing at one of the tour dates listed below and get your copy of Helltown while you're at it!

I don’t know if you remember, it’s been a while, but we’ve played a show together. It was the Fu Manchu show in Portland, Oregon in May of 2014.

I thought so! Yes, I remember your band. You were wonderful.

You, too! I remember meeting you and talking with you about essential oils.

I remembered it was Pentagram or Fu Manchu because we played the same venue, it was at Dante’s.

All of us at Doomed & Stoned are excited to get the chance to talk to you at this time of your new release 'Helltown.' I was interested in the meaning behind the name of the album and the band. I read that “Hell Town” is one of the names by which the neighborhood you live in is known. I would like to know a little bit about the relationship between that and the writing process for the band on this album.

Absolutely. I chose that name for several different reasons. I mean the most obvious is the translation of where the album was written and practiced, recorded. It just kind of made sense to pay homage to that. I also like that it can also take on these multiple meanings, which is something I really try to do with songwriting, as well. It can be a futuristic thing, or it could play into current times.

Helltown by Electric Citizen

As far as what our neighborhood means to us is this is where everything happens. The studio where we record is a stone’s throw away from our house, which is also where we practice and write all the music. It’s just this really great little neighborhood which is unique in Cincinnati where there’s a lot of different ethnic groups, and there’s a lot of artists, the LGBTQ community is strong here. All of these different types of people that we are surrounded by are hugely inspiring to me. I just have this very special place in my heart for this neighborhood, and the guys share the same sentiment. "Hell Town" is a nickname that was more commonly used in the 1800s when it was an entertainment district for the factory workers because we are in a very industrial area. So this is where they would go and hang out after they got off work from the factories and it was just known as "Hell Town." There were so many different things about it that are so meaningful that it just makes it the perfect title for this album.

Where do you find or draw inspiration in the process for the band or when writing any music in general?

I like to start by writing a track and feeling out where it’s going from the melody standpoint, and then trying to craft something meaningful into that. The melody is such a hugely important part of the song. There’s so much to draw inspiration from like today’s political state, relationships between people, our current times. I feel fascinated by the idea that we are living in this huge turning point, the dawn of the era of technology and how that’s affecting us as a human race. That’s something I love exploring. Every day is like an episode of Black Mirror. What’s going to happen to us? There are so many things happening right now that we’ve never experienced as the human race.

I can hear that questioning nature of inspiration in the lyrics and music. What type of challenges might you face while working together and making and recording music together?

Well, we’re pretty lucky in that we get along. That’s something I don’t take for granted because we’ve had a few different change-ups in the lineup, and we’re now kind of back to where we were at the beginning of the band. We had a great time with our other bass player, but the dynamic can be very different. Having the energy of the original band, and the relationships we all have with each other is a huge help as far as writing and making the music, as well as enjoying the process the whole way. I think we make it harder on ourselves by choosing to record analog; that’s definitely a much more tedious task than recording digitally. We have a pretty standardized process where Ross writes the basics of the song, and then we all start layering on top of that using a huge amount of editing. I think it’s a really important quality to have to be able to stand back and say, “You know what, I’ve created something and it sucks,” and I’m going to scrap it and try again. I think that self-reflection is really important.

It is the universal nature of some good work to be thorough. Speaking of the process of the mixing and the engineering, can you explain a bit about that process as used in the new album?

Unlike the process of the second album which may have been a bit more polished than we would mean, we knew on the third album that we wanted to try to capture what we had in the first album.

It sounds like everything about 'Helltown' was done in “Hell Town.” From the new tracks, I can see its relationship to the first album in its grittiness and more natural nature. What are the details of the release?

The album official release date is September 28th. It’s being released worldwide through Riding Easy Records. There is distribution all of the world, you can get it at Riding Easy Records in the states and of course we are also starting a tour with Monster Magnet on the same day so you can come get it from us at the merch booth.

What are some of your most successful accomplishments so far as a group?

Beyond what we’ve created, which is really the whole reason we’ve started doing this, I think that some of the bands we’ve gotten to tour with have been a huge accomplishment. There’s been Arthur Brown, a long-time hero he is the godfather of shock rock. He’s inspired so many different artists. We’ve opened for King Diamond, Joan Jett, Fu Manchu and this tour with Monster Magnet is a big deal for us. That’s a band that’s really made a name for themselves. Getting to tour Europe, I personally had never been over there before touring as a band. It’s great to go into a project like this having no expectations, and then having all these things happening. Every single one of them has kind of been mind-blowing for us. That’s one of the things I’ve learned growing older, have no expectations and life will exceed them all.

How have you grown as a singer and artist over the years?

When I was first starting out, singing in bands, I had such a fear for doing what I’m doing. As soon as I was able to release that and have the fearlessness of, “If I fail, I fail. If I don’t, I don’t.”, I would encourage anyone that’s going into any form of art; remember to have that fearlessness. It’s so freeing. I feel like that’s such an important message, especially to young girls that are interested in doing this and following in our footsteps, singing in a band or whatever it is. It’s just, "You have nothing to fear except fear itself!"

What is your message to the universe?

Oh wow, that’s a good one. Hmm, that is such an important question. I think really for me it comes down to… just be kind to each other. Everybody in this world is fighting their own fight, and I think it’s so important to remember to give room for people to behave like they do because you just don’t know what’s going on with their life. I think that ultimately what this world needs more than anything right now is kindness. I guess it would be just as simple as that. Be kind to each other. Maybe to ask everyone to love each other is too much, but if you can’t find that in your heart, just be kind.

Electric Citizen & Monster Magnet on Tour

10/02 - Chicago, IL @ Bottom Lounge 10/03 - Minneapolis, MN @ Cabooze 10/05 - Denver, CO @ Bluebird Theater 10/06 - Salt Lake City, UT @ Urban Lounge 10/08 - Portland, OR @ Hawthorne Theater 10/09 - Vancouver, BC @ Commodore Ballroom 10/10 - Seattle, WA @ El Corazon 10/12 - San Francisco, CA @ Thee Parkside 10/15 - Santa Ana, CA @ The Observatory 10/16 - San Diego, CA @ Brick By Brick 10/17 - Phoenix, AZ @ Rebel Lounge 10/19 - San Antonio, TX @ Paper Tiger 10/20 - Dallas, TX @ Canton Hall 10/21 - Houston, TX @ White Oak Music Hall 10/23 - Atlanta, GA @ The Masquerade 10/24 - Nashville, TN @ Basement East 10/26 - Baltimore, MD @ Baltimore Soundstage 10/27 - New York, NY @ Gramercy Theatre 10/28 - Cambridge, MA @ The Sinclair

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[juliethebibliophile]

Good morning Librarians fans who follow me on here for things! Its premiere week! Happy Season 4!!! Below you can find my binge-watching schedule for celebrating and preparing for the new adventures and excitement!!!(This is all of course contingent upon finals but I digress) Also keep an eye on my Instagram to see me sporting different merch every day, and maybe even look out for some vlogs! Happy @librarianstnt Premiere week LITs!

MONDAY 12/11 -1X01 And the Crown of King Arthur/ 1X02 And the Sword in the Stone -1X05 And the Apple of Discord(my favorite episode!) -1X10 And the Loom of Fate -The Librarian And the Quest for the Spear

TUESDAY 12/12 -2X01 And the Drowned Book/2X02 And the Broken Staff -2X09 And the Happily Ever Afters(fave season 2!) -2X10 And the Final Curtain -The Librarian and The Return to King Solomon’s Mines

WEDNESDAY 12/13 -3X01 And the Rise of Chaos -3X06 And the Trial of a Triangle(Fave season 3!) -3X10 And the Wrath of Chaos -The Librarians and the Judas Chalice -SEASON 4 PREMIERE AT 8/7 CENTRAL ON TNT!!!

[thisisheavynews]

The Big Read – Sheer Mag “So much rock music is so bad and meaningless”

Five years in the past, Sheer Mag had been the buzziest DIY band on the planet. Now, they’re a full-throttle unbiased rock ‘n’ roll machine who sort out home abuse, prejudice, loss of life and anxiousness on ferocious new album ‘A Distant Call’. Singer Tina Halladay tells Ben Homewood why the world wants the Philadelphians…

On November threerd 2015, Sheer Mag began a seven-week European tour with a present at Bologna’s Freakout Club. Its title was an ideal match. 

Back then, Sheer Mag had been the 12 months’s most hyped band, freaking individuals out with their buzzing, big-hearted rock‘n’roll, and exploding out of south Philadelphia’s DIY circuit. Accentuating the perfect bits of the basic rock they beloved and subverting its macho stereotypes, that they had an excellent, scratchy emblem and appeared like a bar band excavated from the 1970s. They lived, and recorded, in a spot referred to as The Nuthouse, its compact areas the right incubator for his or her greasy noise. They had launched two self-made four-track EPs, ‘I’ and ‘II’, and their songs gave the impression of they had been on fireplace. The likes of ‘What You Want’, ‘Point Breeze’ and ‘Fan The Flames’ had been white sizzling, insanely good. Sheer Mag had been unsigned and they weren’t doing interviews. Word was spreading, and tickets had been scarce.

“That first European tour was insane,” says the group’s singer Tina Halladay. “Our tour manager messaged me beforehand and said, ‘You will probably break up!’ I was like, ‘Yeah whatever, I guess we’ll see…’”

Photo: Angela Owens

Sheer Mag simply needed to play, so they flew to Europe, employed a van and proceeded to spend infinite hours inside it, freezing. Halladay first met guitarist Matt Palmer and the Seely brothers, lead guitarist Kyle and bassist Hart, who grew up in Syracuse, at Purchase College, New York. Their pal Ian Dykstra was on drums in these days, certainly, Sheer Mag have by no means actually had a everlasting drummer (present touring member Giacomo Zatti is their fourth). Clearly, the shut confinement was intense.

“We only had one day without a show and it was spent travelling on an overnight boat to Finland, so we really didn’t have a day off,” Halladay remembers. “It was freezing cold, I don’t think any of us had headphones, mobile phone data or any distractions. It was a pretty torturous seven weeks, but every single venue and every single person was amazing. Every promoter was like, ‘This is the most people we’ve ever had and the most money we’ve ever made.’ The fans were the only reason we survived.”

Photo: Angela Owens

Four years later, Halladay can snort on the recollections. NME finds the singer recent from a go to to the publish workplace, at residence along with her brother in Philly. She’s getting ready to place her life in a bag as soon as once more to hit the street this week till early November, in assist of recent album ‘A Distant Call’. Another pulverising few months beckon, however Sheer Mag are nicely accustomed by now. 

They accomplished their EP sequence with the blistering ‘III’ in 2016, and debut album ‘Need To Feel Your Love’ adopted in 2017, including disco, plus touches of Abba and Fleetwood Mac to the combination. If their debut confirmed their vary, ‘A Distant Call’ stands tall as their most full work up to now, 10 tracks of straight up rock‘n’roll, pressing and unruly. Mixing from Arthur Rizk provides heat and gloss to recordings first tracked within the freezing snow of DeRuyter, New York. 

It’s additionally their most private launch, ruthlessly exposing Halladay’s experiences (by a fictional protagonist, it offers with physique picture points and particulars a whirlwind interval during which she was fired, damaged up with and misplaced her abusive father) in a means that simply wasn’t potential till now. Sheer Mag wanted to develop into inseparable to make this report, and Halladay says freezing collectively of their van 4 years in the past was the primary main step in getting there.

“We’re all incredibly close, we’re like siblings at this point,” she says. “We struggle, we go on [laughs] and annoy one another and yell at one another. We’ve been by so much.”

Photo: Angela Owens

Halladay has come to cherish her relationship with Palmer specifically, after the group’s artistic course of thrust them collectively. Sheer Mag songs are made in a manufacturing line: first, the Seely brothers conjure groove, snap and corkscrew solos, then Halladay and Palmer summon melody and lyrics. On ‘A Distant Call’, Palmer got here to inhabit the singer’s thoughts like by no means earlier than.

“In the writing relationship we have, Matt ends up doing the final arrangements of the melody and lyrics, he writes most of them,” Halladay explains. “Our relationship had to get to this point for him to be able to do justice to my experiences, like my father and our relationship and his death and how that affected me, and body image and just going through the world as a fat woman. It took 24 other songs [on the EPs and ‘Need To Feel Your Love’] to get to the point where he could do it justice and make it really meaningful.”

Photo: Marie Lin

What they got here up with grabs you and doesn’t let go.

“How may I be taught to like from someone so abusive?” asks ‘Cold Sword’. “I pulled again and went away, to nurse my coronary heart’s bruises”. On ‘The Right Stuff’, Halladay sings, “Eyes stare and individuals flip, my coronary heart begins to race and my face burns.”

Looking again, she says, the recording course of was taxing within the excessive.

“The conversation around body image is a lot more open now, so that wasn’t too difficult, but the stuff with my father made me confront some things I’d maybe been ignoring or hadn’t been able to articulate,” Halladay explains. “That was really therapeutic and really hard, I think it was hard for Matt to even attempt it. You don’t want to mess something like that up.”

Perhaps the perfect instance of what she means could be discovered inside ‘Cold Sword’, the album’s motoring centerpiece. You’ll need to dance to its thrusting rhythm, however its message is altogether extra severe.

“It’s about my father and it’s the one that was the most difficult to write, record and deal with,” she says. “I’ve told Matt a lot about mine and my father’s relationship and his actions towards me and the rest of my family. I wrote it all down. I wrote everything I could remember, every experience, like being terrified and upset, just every moment that he terrorised mine and my family’s life. I wrote pages and pages of what I could remember in order and gave it to him to work with.”

Photo: Angela Owens

Elsewhere, in amongst the anxiousness and ache of Halladay’s revelations are bursts of Sheer Mag’s customary imagery: picket traces, crooks, dodgy offers, bombs, jail cells and the mayhem of conflict and politics. These songs are a blur of private candour and common truths, set to unrelenting groove and whole guitar hedonism, providing wonderful distinction to their blackened content material. Bass traces pulsate, guitars shimmy and shake, drums thwack. As at all times, it capabilities as one large rallying name, and Halladay is proud to say so. Sheer Mag are right here to say that the private and political aren’t divisible.

“What a lot of people in the world don’t realise is that politics is in everything,” the singer says. “The life that you live, the food you eat, the people you meet, it all has to do with politics and the way our systems are built and created. The people you’re attracted to, the people you see every day, all those things have to do with politics, so there’s no way to not be political. To say something like, ‘I’m not political’, is just showing your ignorance or your privilege.”

Photo: Angela Owens

Avoiding politics can be “a cop out” for Sheer Mag, and Halladay regales us with some latest drama round planning their tour merchandise for instance the purpose.

“We’re planning to sell a poster that will benefit some Planned Parenthood [sexual healthcare organisation] schemes in Wisconsin and they said, ‘Are there certain places you don’t want to sell it because maybe people will be upset and not agree with it?’” she says.

“Hell no! Anyone opposed to Planned Parenthood is not someone I want to be my fan or be at my shows, so no thank you. I just don’t see how someone who could feel that way would like our music.”

Photo: Angela Owens

Halladay spits out the tip of her sentence, completely mystified. Her confusion is no shock: Sheer Mag’s bond with their followers is apparent. People wait patiently to speak to the band after reveals, forming snaking traces for the merch desk, desperate to get nearer.

“It’s always very overwhelming and awesome, especially women coming up to me and telling me things like, ‘I started a band because of you.’ I’d never expected for people to care so much and be so excited, especially so early on,” says Halladay.

The singer has a idea to clarify the devotion and love, too. 

“It’s a lot of [reasons], but the one I feel the most is that I don’t look like every other person in a band and I don’t sing about the same things every other person sings about,” she says. “It’s important for people to see themselves, people can relate to me because I’m other and I’m different and that is important to people.”

Photo: Marie Lin

Halladay noticed the identical in Judas Priest singer Rob Halford and Thin Lizzy’s Phil Lynott, who she describes as her “favourite” (she has Lynott inked on her proper thigh and named her canine The Rocker after him). But whereas she says “this band and me being in it wouldn’t have existed 30 or 40 years ago,” she notes there’s nonetheless “a lot of bullshit to deal with”.

“It’s like, bouncers automatically stopping me and no one else, if I don’t have my [backstage] pass or something,” she explains. “Even promoters who haven’t done their research saying, ‘Oh are you the tour manager? Or are you doing merch?’ I’m just like, ‘No, my picture is on the wall right behind me.’ It’s just ignorance, it’s silly. It makes them look stupid.”

Halladay has acquired used to setting such individuals straight in no unsure phrases. When NME first interviewed the singer at SXSW in 2015, it was after a present at which she shoved a person again into the gang as he came upon stage fumbling on the crotch of his denims. “Get your dick back in your pants dude,” she advised him.

Ever since their earliest days, there’s been a way of necessity about Sheer Mag; they’re a band the world wants and they understand it.

“There are a lot of people who want to see themselves. There are young girls out there who’ve never seen a person who looks like me leading a band like this, that representation and seeing yourself is really important for people to realise their potential and what kind of a person they want to be,” says Halladay. “White men have all of these different role models in the world being shown to them, it’s not the same for everyone.”

Photo: Angela Owens

Sheer Mag, then, current an exciting various. Two albums in, they’re thriving.

“So much rock music in popular culture is so bad and meaningless in my eyes,” Halladay continues. “I love rock‘n’roll, so for people to have to dig so deep to find music that is meaningful sucks.”

Thankfully, it’s not essential to dig to seek out Sheer Mag. They’re nonetheless placing music out by their very own Wilsuns RC imprint, ordering vinyl and dealing with merch, however their stance on the music press has softened and they’re extra seen than ever.

“At the beginning we were just trying to figure out what kind of a band we were, so we didn’t want to just latch onto these ideas or anyone that could take advantage of us or control us,” Halladay says of their preliminary reticence. “At this point we know who we are as a band, we know what we want and we have the confidence and power to say, ‘Ok, people want to hear this, so let’s see what’s important for us to say.’”

As for the mechanics behind constructing their empire, the band now have a supervisor and have simply taken on “people to help us with money and business stuff”. Halladay paints a easy, contented image.

So, is the label chase over?

“If we are being chased then they’re not contacting me!”

The singer laughs, clearly blissful Sheer Mag are doing this on their very own. Really, it’s the one means it is sensible. Their music comes from a primal place, mixing our most instinctive emotions into hopeful, important rock‘n’roll, stuffed with motion.

“This band, it’s not a want, it’s a need. Every day,” Halladay sums up. “It’s so important and good for me to be able to perform and let out all that aggression, anger and energy inside of me that needs to come out. When I’m not on tour for a long time I lose my shit. I need that release, that feeling, to not feel totally crazy and restless.”

Tina Halladay can’t cover the thrill in her voice and no marvel. Sheer Mag are on the street once more.

  A Distant Call

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  from Heavy News https://thisisheavynews.com/the-big-read-sheer-mag-so-much-rock-music-is-so-bad-and-meaningless/

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Interview: Chrissy Teigen, on how to definitively win the internet

Chrissy Teigen is sitting on a plush chair, in a pea green room, in a brightly lit suite at the Gramercy Park Hotel, overlooking lower Manhattan. The room's adorned with oversized hamburger pillows, french fry blankets, and neat stacks of McBiscuit sandwiches. 

"That," says Teigen, "is actually a McDunker." She points to a small plastic device. "You put the sauce in the bottom, and it dunks your nuggets on its own."

The entire thing—a press junket for McDelivery, a partnership between McDonald's and Uber—feels like a distinctly 2017 fever dream, as conceived by a millennial Salvador Dali, staffed at some ad agency as a "Creative."Already for the promotion, Teigen's given McDonald's merch to fire fighters and visited a McDonald's in Manhattan. Now she's sitting here, talking about McSwag.

Teigen says she genuinely, really, really, really loves McDonald's. When asked how she got involved with McDelivery, she explains: "I think [McDonald's] saw me. I was wearing a Big Mac pajama set that was just randomly sent to me, and I think I put that on my social media."

pic.twitter.com/QqcC18io4O

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) December 21, 2016

"They know that I’m an obvious fan too. There’s a lot of McDonalds in my life," Teigen continues.

It's true. Teigen actually had a McDonald's-catered baby shower (hosted by Kim Kardashian). It's why the McDonald's promotion, despite being an "#ad" (as Teigen labeled a recent Instagram post) and absurdist praise of the McDonalds products ("This white hoodie is my favorite because it keeps your sandwich warm in its little pocket.") ultimately feels like an extension of something Teigen would be doing, anyway.

And maybe that's genuinely the secret to Chrissy Teigen's sauce: Whether she's helping McDonald's promote their brand, or reacting in horror at the Oscars, Chrissy Teigen is herself. At all times. 

Especially on the internet.

The Unified Chaos Theory of Chrissy Teigen's Digital Persona

If you try to get Chrissy Teigen to describe her online persona, well: She can't.

"I don’t know. Mine's so different at all times," she said. "I’m so moody with it."

But for her, that's also kind of the point. Rather than promote a manicured online presence, Teigen says she's kind of just thrown everything at the proverbial social media wall.

"It didn't start out being easy to say whatever you wanted [on the internet], because some people, they just don’t know you," explains Teigen. "You kind of have to come out the gate really showing different sides of your personality, and people start to, years later, get used to the fact that you’re going to be politically involved, you’re going to livetweet [Real] Housewives a lot, you’re going to talk about food. And people start to realize: that’s just you. And they start to accept you."

And it's worked. If nothing else, Teigen cultivated a reputation for being "real," which is to say, as that rare celebrity who might actually think what we think, say what we'd say, and do what we'd do. 

Realness comes at a premium. It's why she made Time's 2017 list of the most influential people on the internet.

"[My tweets] just depend on what’s happening in the world, and what mood I’m in, and if I’m feeling cheeky or not," says Teigen. "Sometimes I have to stop because I’m like, 'I’m in a bad mood. I shouldn’t tweet right now.' Some days I’m like, I wouldn’t tweet this normally ... John [Legend] is usually like, 'if you want to say it, then just say it.'”

(Don't) do it for the 'gram

Given her devotion to authenticity, it shouldn't come as much of a surprise that if there's one Internet trend that Teigen hates, it's novelty Instagram food.

"I just don’t get it," exclaims Teigen. "Whenever I see something that I feel like people are just doing for Instagram, that frustrates me."

And Teigen feels no need to hold that frustration back.

In July, Teigen sparked the ire of the internet after she blasted rose shaped ice cream.

Oh jfc just fucking scoop the ice cream https://t.co/BfwR3bceup

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) July 11, 2017

Teigen says she feels bad how the tweet was interpreted. "I felt really bad about it. I didn’t mean to tear the shop down as an establishment. I very simply said 'no, I don’t like this.'"

That said, she still stands by her original take. 

"Listen, this ice cream might be fantastic, but I’m not going to sit there and watch you form it into a rose just so I can eat it."

And it's not just rose ice cream that Teigen opposes—really, it's anything people are doing just for Instagram.

"I think this stuff's getting too silly, too over the top, I just saw this stupid cotton candy burrito thing. And I’m like, that is not a burrito, that’s just a ton of shit in not even a tortilla. And then there is a rainbow pizza. What is the point?! Eat your pizza. Also, we’re adults! What’s with the rainbow thing?"

The Chrissy Teigen Guide to Proper Clapbacks

Teigen's ability to shade anything and everything on the internet is nothing if not a trademark of hers. For example, she's changed her Twitter bio to "high-quality person" to troll Donald Trump Jr., she roasted Fox News for talking about her, and she's teases her husband John Legend for looking like classic kids' cartoon anteater, Arthur.

To hear it from Teigen, there's one secret ingredient for any epic clapback: facts.

“[A good clapback] takes a little bit of research,” she advises. “I like to do a bit of investigation work into the profiles [of people who come for me], because I think it’s important to have facts. Or to see how 'perfect' they are. That’s a bit of enjoyment of mine."

Last week, Teigen tweeted that she had been blocked by Donald Trump, after years of hating the president.

For Teigen, the block's a trophy. Of sorts.

"It's an exclusive club," says Teigen. "My thing was: I never followed him in the first place. I just I think it’s funny. There’s a button that [people who have been blocked by Trump] all get and it says 'blocked by Trump.' It’s exciting."

As for the block itself, Teigen's got a point. Of all the the things she's tweeted about Donald Trump—including but not limited to things like "Grow. The Fuck. Up" or "You are so insane that I pray I am in a sim played by aliens"—it's interesting that it was a mundane "lol no one likes you" that got Teigen banned.

Nobody can be sure why this tweet was the straw that broke the camels back, but it perfectly aligns with the one lesson Teigen's insistent upon, again and again: we're our most powerful selves on the internet when we're just being, well, ourselves.

After our interview was finished, a friend who heard about the interview with Teigen immediately fired over a Facebook comment to ask: "Was she as amazing in real life as she is online?" The answer, of course, is Teigen's great nonsecret, and possibly the secret to her success as a Beloved Person in Pop Culture, In This Moment: She's exactly like her online presence. Nothing more, and definitely nothing less.

[billyburgess975-blog]

An Summary Of Entrepreneurship

Borrowing loans undoubtedly frees you of economic worries but, the very thought of repayment gives a shiver along the spine. They also tend to believe that entrepreneurs are born rather than made. These compositions should altogether be acquired and that they all should take balance. Nonetheless, hearing the stories of others can be incredibly inspiring and be the gentle reminder to look up from what you're doing and stay linked to why you're doing. Use your present life to practice for your entrepreneurship. Today, entrepreneurs are no more relegated to the caricatures of Mike Baldwin, Arthur Daley and Del-Boy. For many musicians, merch sales are their bread and butter. For many musicians, merch sales are their bread and butter. Join Our Community. Courses such as the Bachelor of Business Administration in Entrepreneurship provide you using the opportunity to understand about many different areas of business, such as Critical Thinking and Creativity, International Business Strategy and Designing and Leading the Entrepreneurial Organization. Next, realize that work well is usually out there always. This type of work style doesn't lend itself well to starting a small company part time. Interested? You're not alone! Research shows that approximately 75% of recent jobs d within the U. It is quite hard to suppose entrepreneurs won't be self disciplined. Positive thinking is a lot more than just saying or thinking statements that usually are not negative. Young entrepreneurs face many weighty problems such as obtaining start -up capital, leasing property, equipment therefore on. As proof, a lot of business organizations and publications have consistently recognized Babson College in its lists of top business schools within the Click here country. At the time, these findings were hard to believe to get a quantity of reasons. If you are unsure regarding your expertise, practice writing a 4 sentence bio that includes your qualifications and see Learn More how the writings come across. Now she's quit that call center job and her dream of starting your small business continues to be fulfilled. If not, you'll eventually suffer some uncalculated losses. Crumbling in the face of adversity and allowing yesteryear to take control of your future is deliberately heading from entrepreneurial success. com for more details on internet businesses. Formulate your game plan and use every business tool that you simply have, work hard, enjoy yourself and, most significantly execute.

[viralhottopics]

Want to Profit Off Your Meme? Good Luck if You Arent White

Gather round, ye olds, and thrill to a tale of yore. Summer 2014, to be exact. The place? Vine (RIP). The hero? AChicago teenager calling herself Peaches Monroee, who uploaded a video in which she described her eyebrows as “on fleek.”

Yea verily, Peaches Monroee’s neologism spread far and wide. Ariana Grandejumped on board, as didKim Kardashian. Brands, not surprisingly, werenext. And lo, wheniHopandTaco Belluse a slang term, aForever 21 crop topcan’t be far behind. Evenrapper/flat-eartherB.o.B goton the act,proclaiming himself Fleekwood Mac onhis song Fleek. But to this day, despite enterprising companies cashingin on the phrase’s “YOLO”-level popularity—“on fleek” hats have adorned multiple celebrity heads—its originator hasn’t seen a cent.

Now, Peaches Monroee, whose real name is Kayla Lewis,hopes to change that. Last week shelauncheda GoFundMe crowdfunding campaign in order to launch a cosmetics and hair-extensionline, asking anyone who uses the phrase to chip in a few bucks. Good for her, right? But also, why didn’t she get college scholarships like Chewbacca Mom, whose claim to fame boils down to laughing while wearing a plastic mask? Lewis’s problem is part intellectual property law, part access to influence, and all systemic racial inequalities. However egalitarian the internet was supposed to be, creatives’ ability to profit off their viral contentseems to depend on their race.

Guys it has been set…everyone has been asking me to start this GoFundMe so I can get some type of money so I can start my own business and get some money… any amount can help the link is below. Hopefully we can get this in the hands of some wealthy people thanks ! #gofundme #gofundmedonations http://bit.ly/2lNCmGF

A post shared by Peachie Peach (@officialpeaches__monroee) on Feb 19, 2017 at 11:04am PST

What’s in a Meme

The internet may have started as a utopian dream, but becoming an engine of capitalism was just about inevitable. And starting around2010—when Hot Topic stuck Rageguy on a T-shirt, much to 4chan’s, well, rage—the meme-to-merch-to-money pipelinehas been humming. Some of it has even benefited thememe creators themselves. “The people behind keyboard catand Nyan Cat did a really good job of capitalizing on their intellectual property,” says Kate Miltner, an internet researcher at the University of Southern California. “Grumpy cat wrote the textbook: There was the book, the movie, they even have grumppuccinos.”

The windfall isn’t confined to cats, either. Besides Chewbacca Mom, financial successes include Daniel Lara of “Damn, Daniel,” who parlayed his Vine fame intoa lifetime supply of Vans and an Ellen appearance. Or Danielle Bregoli, whose threat to a Dr. Phil audience—now meme-mortalized as “cash me outside, howbow dah?“—catapulted her to $30,000 paychecks for meet-and-greets.

Lewis’ immediate barrier compensation is partially the way in which her work became a meme. “A phrase is a difficult thing to protect,” says KJ Greene, a law professor at the Thomas Jefferson School of Law. “If you’re wealthy and legally savvy, you might be able to trademark your catchphrase, like Paris Hilton did with ‘that’s hot.’” But that’s still tricky to pull off: President Trump failed to trademark “You’re fired.”

But there is another thing that separates Lewis from the Lara’s and Bregoli’s and Hilton’s as well: she’s black. “I cannot name a person of color who has created something viral and capitalized off of it,” says April Reign, managing editor of Broadway Black and originator of the annually-trending#OscarsSoWhite. And considering the amount of incredibly popular memes created by people of color—spanning from Kimberly Wilkin’s(AKA Sweet Brown) “Ain’t nobody got time for that” to Confused Mr. Krabs to the first Arthur-fist memeto “on fleek”—that’s a significant omission.

When Remixing Verges on Whitewashing

Of course, twas ever thus. “Going back to the minstrel period, there is something about African-American culture that drives pop culture trends,” says Greene. “But musicians from places like the South Bronx had no idea they were creating something that would be a phenomenon, and IP law struggles with things created by a community rather than an individual—it was hard to tell who created that blues riff or that beat.”

To some, memes creators face a similar issue as blues musicians or early hip-hop pioneers. “Memes are remixed and often appropriated, so they mutate over time,” says Sanjay Sharma, who teaches courses on new media and internet politics at Brunel University London. “Most folks who share a meme are oblivious to who originated it. People who claim Peaches shouldn’t be compensated can trade on this kind of argument.”

It’s a fair point, but it also falls apartin the face of how white meme creators have capitalized on their proverbial 15 minutes. That points to a stark difference in the way creators of color are viewed. “What Peaches does,what Sweet Brown does, is always viewed as lower class, and an example of what all black people must be doing,” says Andr Brock, who teaches race, ethnicity, and new media at the University of Michigan. “When white people do that online, it’s promoted as their command of the digital space. Black people are never seen as enterprising.”

The problem is especially glaring since many successful memes scoop their punchiness from black culture anyway. “The reason the ‘cash me outside’ girl is ‘funny’ is because she’s a white female using a voice associated with black culture,” says Catherine Knight Steele, who teaches race, gender, and media at the University of Maryland. “Sweet Brown isnt funny in the same waythe humor is different. It’s mockery. ‘Cash me outside’ almost feels like shes in on the joke.”

“It’s very apparent that it’s happening along racial lines,” April Reign says of the meme monetizationgap. “Are the IP lawyers and trademark people reaching out to people of color? Are publicists reaching out and saying, ‘Hey let’s get you on The Ellen Show?’” For now, it’s clear that they are not.

And while somebody can argue that Ellen‘s audience (and booking agent)is way more likely to have seen “Damn, Daniel” or Chewbacca Mom on Facebook than Lewis on Vine, the excuse is getting a little tired. Even digital spaces that black culture fueled—like Vine—seem to forget about their creators of color when its time to go take things IRL and make some money. “There was an entire tour of kids who were popular on Vine, but I dont remember seeing many black kids on that tour,” Miltner says.

There may be hope;Kayla Lewis has managed toraise $11,000 in just 8 days of crowdfunding. (She’s aiming for $100,000.) That’s due not only to hertenacity, but tothe internet at large. “Now you have receipts,” Steele says, referring to the verifiable proof that Lewiscoined the term. “Online content creation creates a way to trace something. And you can push back in the same medium used to steal from you.”

Even better, Lewis isn’t the only one.There’s a growing force of people of color bent on getting their due for their digital creativity. “Im in conversations now about what we can do for black content creators to make sure that theyre monetizing,” Reign says. “The next step is to determine how to ensure people are recognized as the original creator of a work. Nobody envisioned the internet when they were writing intellectual property laws. I think theres an opportunity now for lawyers to do something really important.” Because getting just rewards for your efforts? Definitely on fleek.

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