#of course im not gnna do anything i dont even self harm or do the less eating thing on purpose anymore
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#vent#ignore#im sparring u all cuz i have like 40 sewercidal posts in my likes and drafts asdfgds#i jut feel shitty and wanna like idk maybe talk to someone but only like#irl like id like to just make a new freind who i trust and is cool and idk#i could just talk to and whatever#i think ive just been watching too many vids of people hanging out on youtube so i feel mega shitty and alone and suic///idal#cl#of course im not gnna do anything i dont even self harm or do the less eating thing on purpose anymore#i just maybe lose my appetite for a bit when im sad but thats the worst i get physically now#just to clarify no i never self harmed#idk i just kinda wih i could tho to feel something like i wish i could maybe workout or do a sport to feel pain and heat and adrenaline that#isnt a panic attack#i just idk#super not into thinking about my future#i feel like ill always be a tiny freak with emotional problems and who everyone thinks is angry and fucked up and irritating#and i honestly just dont wanna be here anymore#again lol#long post#idk i dont want anyone to say anything to me but i also dont like being in dead silence but i think talking#to anyone would make things worse#i just cant stand anything#idk im gnna keep zoning out and watching real boys hang out and have fun cuz i cant lol
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