#of course i'm also speaking very generally because there are ALWAYS exceptions

[marc--chilton]

(mgv) babies in omegaverse are slightly less frustrating to deal with due to mgv specific vocalizations. rather than having a catch-all cry that can leave parents pulling their hair out trying to figure out what their pup needs, babies start using specific noises to portray their wants very soon after birth (general starting point for this milestone is around one month). they whine for food, cry if they're lonely, chirp for boredom, etc. not only is it a benefit to the pup, but this stress lifting off the parents can also make the idea of having more pups enticing since this period of not-knowing-what-they-want is so short, meaning most of the other unpleasant parts of having a baby get overshadowed

[entiqua]

I love your artstyle!! Do you have any tips for drawing?

thank you so much! i'm really happy you like it!!💗 as for tips, what i would say would change drastically depending on what kind you're looking for, but some very general ones:

draw what you love and want to see most, regardless of whether anyone else wants to see it. if you don't enjoy what you're drawing it'll never come out as good or genuine as something your whole heart and soul is in. i mean you'd think this would be a no-brainer but sometimes i've had to sit back and ask myself 'if no one was ever going to see this except me, would i actually spend time drawing this?' and i was surprised by the answer

that said, it is also completely valid if your motivation for drawing is to draw for other people! there have been plenty of times where i was too artblocked to draw my own ideas but was still able to draw commissions or gifts and enjoyed it simply because making other people happy with my art makes me happy.

don't get too caught up in having a consistent art style. in my experience this 1000% hinders you

having your sense of anatomy degrade over time without you noticing because you keep drawing the same types of characters is a very real thing! if this is a concern to you be sure to draw a variety

follow a billion artists that you like the art of and you will have endless inspiration injected directly into your brain every time you open social media

my favourite practical tip for those who draw at a desk: keep a small mirror next to you at all times. absolute game changer for quickly referencing hands

if you're drawing digitally, make the canvas huge! in my experience this lets you draw messier/faster and you can't tell at all when you zoom out. if you tend to get stuck spending unnecessary amounts of time micromanaging pixels (me💀) keep it zoomed out while drawing

related to the above point, messy drawings can have far more expressiveness in them than neat and polished drawings. nowadays i never do lineart and go straight from 'barebones stickman pose' to 'varying-levels-of-coherent sketch' and use that as my lineart. sweet freedom from the sketch-looks-better-than-the-lineart phenomenon

if your goal is to improve, then you really do have to scrutinize your art, figure out what you're not satisfied with, and commit the time to focusing on it. 'practice makes perfect' kinda rubs me the wrong way because of how much i've seen it interpreted as 'just draw everyday and you'll magically improve' but genuinely it won't get you very far if you don't actively think hard about what you're trying to improve and take the steps to do it. is this a hot take idk. also hand in hand with this, not every artist is trying to improve and you shouldn't feel bad for this! maybe you just wanna make a little headshot doodle of your fave blorbo and that's your only drawing goal ever. awesome. maybe you know your art has flaws but it's passable enough to convey what you want and you're perfectly satisfied with that. (this is the stage i'm usually at). also awesome!

don't hesitate to draw something because you think it's out of your skill level. the worst that can happen if you draw it is that it comes out terribly but you learned something and can always redraw it better in the future. the worst that WILL happen if you don't draw it is that you'll never draw it. and then it will sit in the back of your brain haunting you for years. it's not like i'm speaking from experience or anything aha

look up 'hand stretches for artists' and do them if you draw a lot unless you wish to summon the wrath of the carpal tunnel demons

of course, these may not necessarily work for you, and most importantly(!) these are coming from the perspective of someone who is primarily a hobbyist. some of this won't be practical for people who need to build an audience, maintain a consistent style for work, etc. these are just things that have personally helped me over many years of drawing :)

[galedekarios]

Can I ask where the dialogue about gale previously being a professor pre game events is

hello, anon! thank you for the question. the short answer is: there is none!

the longer answer is that as far as we know, he wasn't a professor before the events of the game, but only becomes one in one of his epilogue endings.

we do know gale is a wizard of acclaim and scholar of exceptional accomplishment:

Gale: Let's see. I hail from Waterdeep, the City of Splendours. I'm a wizard of considerable acclaim, and scholar of exceptional accomplishment. I have a cat, a library, and a weakness for a good glass of wine. And if the mood takes me, I'm known to try my hand at poetry. There.

it could mean a number of things of course, we don't exactly know because gale doesn't say what that entails for him, but he likely published works on his research subjects and it's also likely he's worked on spells with tara together since we do know that she invented the 'cat flap of displacement'.

we do also know that gale had pupils prior to the game, but not as a professor:

Player: Do you have much experience being a teacher of magic? I suspect so. Gale: I've had a pupil or two, but never for very long. Their ineptitudes tend to... irk me. Gale: You do seem to be a precocious talent though. I can always tell when I meet with a keen mind receptive to Mystra. Gale: Keep it up and she might just take a personal interest in you one of these days.

again, we know he wasn't a professor or he would've certainly mentioned it in his introduction, as well as it not being such a big part of his epilogue ending, showing his growth and making peace with himself. the way his files frame him becoming a professor also speak against him being so before the game:

This dialogue covers instances where Gale attends the Withers party in a human (non-god) form. His default state is that he returned to Waterdeep and became a professor of Illusory magic at his former school, Blackstaff Academy. General vibe here is that this is a Gale who's found peace with himself - he's a great teacher, one his students are mostly in awe of.

i think it's more likely he either tutored - as that is a very common practise in waterdeep, and even available to the lower classes:

or gale took on a wizard apprentice independently, which... i can sort of see happening. although, it seems he wasn't ready at that point. we can only speculate as to why. perhaps these pupils couldn't keep up with gale, who we do know has a brilliant mind that's always moving, perhaps he wasn't ready yet to take on such a great responsibility while romanticising the idea itself.

what we do know is that he likes sharing knowledge, he wants to impart wisdoms and teachings. not only do we notice that along the journey with gale as a companion, but it's also explicitly a wish revealed by the love test with zethino the dryad:

Zethino: Gale: the learned wizard. The charming gentleman. The walking apocalypse. Zethino: Listen. Think. If the wizard were given the choice, what food would he be? Player: A shiny red apple - wholesome as can be. Gale: Ah, the fruit of scholars. How I long to have a troop of loyal students grace me with apples by the orchard-full in exchange for wisdoms imparted... devnote: Pleased, briefly daydreaming

and that he does grow into his own in the epilogue, through his travels and experiences.

he becomes a great professor, whose students hold him in high regard and whose passion for the position is evident in everything he says during the epilogue.

anyhow, i hope that was helpful! 🖤

[thenightfolknetwork]

Hello. I'm, um, not entirely sure how to talk about this. I hope it's okay if I misspeak. I'm a human, right, so I think that needs to be clear more than anything, but I've been very involved in the creature community for years now. I live by a great big lake and I always liked to walk down the shore late at night or early in the morning, you know, just to try and get out of my own head, and one night ages ago I accidentally tripped over someone's jacket and twisted my ankle. It was a gorgeous fur jacket, too, not like any kind of fur I'd seen in a jacket before, but just stunningly soft and thick as Hell.

Now, of course I didn't take it, that'd be awful, but also I had just hurt myself in kind of a nasty way and so it wasn't like I had anything else to do but sit by the shore next to the jacket and waited, and yeah, a few hours later one of the lake seals popped its head out of the water, looked at me for a good long while, and then...well, I mean, you know how the rest of the story goes, I'm sure.

Anyway, it's been a few years now and I've become really close to this family. I didn't really know anyone in my town before meeting them and I'm not on speaking terms with my own folks, so in a lot of ways these people have become my family, and it's an honor that they trust me to keep guard of their cloaks and such when they go out. But I've got this problem, right, and it's just...over the years it's felt less and less like I fit in with other humans. All my friends are nightfolk now, my family hates me even more because they're bigots--in this night and age, can you fucking believe it--and it's just like every night I get further and further away from the shore.

I'm just scared because...I don't *want* to stop drifting away. I've had dreams of joining them down there in the lake, practically every night for months on end. I've tried doing research into methods of joining the community but I don't want to become a vampire, I don't fancy any lunar-aligned nonsense, nothing has felt right except selkies, but I can't decide if I'm just self aware enough that I need a push from an outside viewer to try and accept something I already know full well...or if no, actually, that little voice in my stupid head that won't go away that keeps calling me a fraud, an invader, an appropriator--what if the reason it's not going away is because it's right and I really don't belong?

Just...please be honest with me. Am I a complete asshole for spending hours every day trying not to just outright beg my family--sorry, chosen family--to help me sew myself a cloak, or is there something to this?

First of all, reader, please rest assured. As long as you are speaking from a place of kindness and a willingness to learn, you don't need to worry about using all the correct terminology. I always try to listen generously when people come to me in need, and I encourage our followers to do the same.

Unfortunately I can well believe that bigots like your biological relatives still exist. I'm glad you've been able to extract yourself from their hateful society, and have found comfort, support and kinship among the nightfolk.

You say there is a little voice in your head calling you a fraud, casting doubt on the validity of your feelings. As much as you might want to push it away and stop your ears, I want you to listen to that voice, just for a little while. Pay attention to the language it uses and what ideas it seems to have about the world.

And then ask yourself: is this my voice? Does that sound like me? Or does this sound like a last, desperate, wriggling remnant of the people I've worked so hard to distance myself from?

Every one of us is raised with a narrative, a story about the world and our place in it, and how we should treat the people around us. We're told that story by our parents, by our teachers and schoolmates, by television and books and a million other sources. The story is so vast and so all-encompassing, it takes an enormous effort to be able to see any single part of it clearly.

Imagine, then, how hard we have to work to realise some of that story is untrue, or harmful, fed by hatred and fear. To start untangling ourselves from the rotting, strangling roots of the story we've known all our lives, and start planting something new and fresh and honest.

It sounds to me like this little voice is one of those lingering strands of the story you were raised with – one where liminality is nothing to admire or strive for, and where you cannot be trusted to know your own mind, and your own needs. It's time to tell yourself a better story.

You've found people who honour you with their trust and who make you feel supported and loved, as you deserve. You admire them, and want to be like them. None of this sounds “stupid” to me.

This is not a decision to be taken lightly. By all means, take your time, and talk your feelings through with your family. But I think you already know what story you want for yourself, reader – and for what it's worth, I think the world will be better for its telling.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[burr-ell]

If it's alright, can I ask why you like the Golden Deer house more than the Blue Lions or Black Eagle houses? Like, what caught your eye about them over everyone else?

So I actually got into FE3H through a friend of mine, @dar-draws, who I already knew through mutual good taste (Dickkory), and fanarts like this one, this one, and this one plus the way she talked about Claude and Claudeleth caught my attention. I watched a couple playthroughs of the Golden Deer route on YouTube and absolutely fell in love (before finally getting a switch just to play it myself, for which I was violently bullied here). So like, I was already going into the game biased, which is part of why when I got it I went ahead and played through Golden Deer before doing all the other routes in turn; it was genuinely important to me to personally see all sides of the story. But even as I've played the other routes and replayed SS and AM and gained even more of an appreciation for them, I'm still always sort of drawn back to VW and the Deer.

I think it's ultimately vibes-based, but I'll try to articulate it. I'm not really a big fan of "cozy" sorts of games—I've played and enjoyed ACNH, but the things I most enjoyed about that game were finding things to do and goals to complete, like completing the main quest line or filling up the museum. So it's not so much that I find the Golden Deer to be cozy so much as adventurous. They're not inherently personally invested in the conflicts of White Clouds (they don't know Lord Lonato or Miklan, and their house leader isn't [gestures generally]), but they're also not just ping-ponging through the story. They go through the same events as the other two houses, but they're coming at it from more of an outsider's perspective, and their choice to get involved and react and respond feels more active.

The Deer also don't have any real reason to follow Claude, either, and in the early game they make sure he knows it; none of them are really all that concerned that they're speaking to the future Grand Duke of their country. Lysithea snaps at him, Leonie shoots the breeze with him, Raphael is jovial with him, Lorenz undercuts him, Hilda is blase with him, Marianne tries not to talk to him, and Ignatz gets into theological debates with him. Over the course of the game, they develop the same loyalty to Claude that the other house members already have for their leaders almost by default, and it feels a lot more earned because we see it happen. And that in turn makes scenes like the one at Myrddin, where Claude reveals his true goal of opening the border with Almyra and embracing foreign cultures and the other Deer are surprised but trust Claude and follow his lead, that much more satisfying.

I was a little surprised, when I played through the other three routes, that aside from the designated talking-with-the-cast scenes every route gets, the characters who aren't house leaders or retainers don't really have all that much to do in the story. On Verdant Wind, you pretty consistently have members of the Golden Deer appearing in other cutscenes and giving their two cents; there's even a unique scene where Lysithea realizes there's something up with the Empire's mages because of her backstory and approaches Claude and Byleth about it. It's nothing too obtrusive—they do still have to accommodate the potential for character death—but it's those small details that make a difference to me. Every house has a particular dynamic with odd silly quirks, but the Deer being just that little bit more integrated into the story really helps sell the idea that they belong here and they're making this story their own.

There's also the matter of where specifically their adventure takes them. I respect the choice to focus on Dimitri in Azure Moon, because it does handle his character and arc very well and I think also does the other Lions justice (with the exception of Dedue), but it's also focused largely on Dimitri's personal arc and the Tragedy of Duscur and doesn't really follow through on a lot of the events of White Clouds. (Which some Blue Lions stans have been okay with because they think the Agarthans are bad villains, which...that's valid, but stories still have to like, address plot elements they set up.) Verdant Wind, by contrast, does actually pull back and try to figure out the real impetus behind the whole conflict, and it ends with them beginning to properly lay Fodlan's true problems to rest.

So while the route isn't flawless and I do think there are issues with how characters are written that are part of larger trends within the game and the series as a whole, there's a very specific kind of fantasy adventure energy with the Golden Deer that I enjoy. I think the stories I'm most drawn to are the ones that keep their eyes on a specific goal but still make you feel like the characters would bring that same energy to goofing around with each other, and I think that's something Verdant Wind does very well.

[transmutationisms]

…so can you expand on the psychological ramifications of stewy being in private equity? that has definitely been lost on me given that i barely understand what private equity is

ok this is an underrated funny aspect of the show imo, and also good insight into stewy and kendall. i'm trying to spare you a bunch of stupid business jargon but basically, maesbury capital (which stewy represents but sandy/sandi ultimately own) is a private equity fund, meaning it's a big pile of a bunch of rich people's money, and stewy's job is to take that money and invest in private companies. a PE fund can invest at a few different points: at the very beginning of a startup's life (venture or angel investing), at a point where the company is trying to grow or restructure (growth investing), or when a company is struggling financially, in which case the fund is usually planning to either dismantle it and sell it for scrap, restructure and go public, or sell it for cash to another company. PE firms like to present themselves as doing a lot of growth or venture investing, but in truth many/most are primarily engaging in this third category of investment strategies, because they're lucrative (and because many startups are stupid, and only good for generating investor payouts).

so, when kendall went and dismantled vaulter in season 2 because logan decided that selling most of it for scrap would be more profitable? that's basically a dramatisation of what stewy does routinely, except of course the exact financial instruments and strategies will differ because stewy represents a PE firm. like, if kendall's venture capitalist schemes tell us about his delusions of creating cool new products and services, stewy is sort of the opposite because his structural goal is usually to dismantle companies and liquidate them however is best for maesbury's backers. it's a total destruction of all use-value and a conversion of it into pure exchange-value in the form of capital (which goes into his pockets and maesbury's). stewy generates money by destroying utility, which is perverse if you think capitalism is supposed to create and sustain human life, but actually completely comprehensible if you understand that capitalism is an insatiable growth machine with inherently contradictory internal tendencies and no raison d'être beyond the endless accumulation of pure capital itself.

many viewers think stewy is insane because he is friends with kendall roy. this is true, but on a deeper level stewy is insane because his job is to participate in the inexorable tendency to more and more abstraction in the capitalist mode of production. it literally does not matter at all to someone like stewy whether people are fed or clothed or happy, or have any of their needs met. the point is solely to create money, to turn all social forms and values into numbers on a balance sheet. this is why, when kendall tries to threaten him on axos at the end of season 2, stewy is able to casually tell him that "it doesn't matter; it doesn't mean anything." he and sandy are convincing shareholders that their offer will be able to make them more money, "and that's all that this is." stewy speaks the language of business differently than logan, because stewy doesn't care about dick-swinging competitions or demonstrating dominance in logan's cringey old catholic military way. which makes stewy more rational in certain ways, but also more insane, in that he operates in a way totally detached from this type of social value system and solely motivated by cold hard numbers.

the irony is that, whilst being detached and disembodied in his business practices, stewy is also better than the roys at appreciating the material fruits of wealth. he eats; he dresses well; he enjoys the "several houses" he owns. kendall is always trying to come up with some grand moral bullshit masculinity reason that what he's doing is noble or whatever, and he's alienated from his body and afflicted with severe catholic martyr disease. stewy just bypasses all that shit, measures his success by his payouts, and enjoys wealth because he sees it as an end in itself and not a means to logan roy's respect.

this is also why kendall's line in 'living+' about "it's enough to make you lose your faith in capitalism" is so funny. kendall can't just accept that business is a bunch of meaningless bullshit confidence games played by coked-up assholes who like to win; he always has to try to convince himself he's making cool new tech shit, or saving the world from the spectre of death itself or some shit. it's like, insane that he made it to literally 40 years old, growing up in a media conglomerate of all things, and still thinks that what he's doing requires actual skill or creates actual social value—but of course, part of the reason he still thinks this is because he deified logan and was therefore incapable of ever seeing logan or waystar for what they really were. stewy would never say that line because he can't be disillusioned this way on account of he already knows the whole thing is bullshit. it's just that to him it doesn't matter, because being bullshit does not preclude it from paying well.

[absolutebl]

Given the wide range of BL you've consumed and analyzed. I am curious at your perspective when comparing BLs made/written by men and those that were written by women, in a different direction, comparing BLs directed by men in comparison to women.

If you could have the time and give your perspective in this two sources of BL , that would be great.

Hum, I'm not sure how to answer this. Except in a kind of avoidance way because I question the premise.

I think, in general, in most of the film industry, the original writing has very little to do with the final result, because so many new voices and povs are imposed on it the moment it begins to be adapted. After a BL leaves its author (predominantly female) it goes to script, a writers room, and eventually into the hands of director and team. All those people are different genders (predominantly male). And all of them have a significant impact on the end result.

Sometimes the author has unprecedented influence (mame for example) but that's pretty unusual.

Statistically speaking, the origin IP (whether novel or graphic) is most likely written by a female and the resulting BL most likely directed by a male.

There are always exceptions, of course.

Even putting aside all the other people, mostly script writers, in between the two primaries (which I just don't think you can) it would be statistically challenging to draw any commonalities amongst female directors (since there are so few) or amongst male writers (for the same reason). In other words, we have many many examples of really only 1 of the 4 possible combinations, and all those examples are muddied by the nature of the filming process (not to mention the nature of gender).

In other words, it would be challenging for me to say things are generally preferable in any one version of the pairings.

I have liked BLs written and directed by women, written by a woman directed by a man, written by a man directed by a woman, or written and directed by men (although those last two I would struggle to name any BLs).

However, I have also liked and then disliked BLs from the same general team and combination of genders behind the creatives.

For me, at least, there doesn't seem to be a reliable team or a reliable writer or a reliable director whose BL product I will reliably love.

I would hesitate to place a predictor on my BL taste (or anyone else's) based on the gender of any part of the team behind a BL. That seems..... weird. Especially when queers and 3rd gender etc are involved (and we have always been involved in artistic spaces for as long as humans have existed, I suspect).

But then I feel that way about most entertainment, from music to books to plays to comedy to fashion. I can be a fan of a director's style but not like some of their shows, just as I can be a fan of an actor's performance but not the character they're playing, or a fan of a pair's chemistry but not in those roles, and so forth.

I think what youth and influencers and the internet age has forgotten is that it's okay to admire a creative individual and not slavishly adore everything that they produce. (For fuck's sake though, don't tell them that, you absolute troll.)

Creatives and creative teams also have their own taste, and that may conflict with yours. Especially with newer IP where you might want the same old same old and they need to evolved. Consumers of entertainment are remarkably resistant to creativity, innovation, and change (so oxymoronic) .

It's okay, maybe you'll like their next BL, song, book, painting, performance......

I have no idea how I got here but:

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

I do have some stuff on a queer lens here:

[materassassino]

The Old Guard Dæmon AU

Probably done before, but I wanted to write one myself, so I thought I'd make a guide to the Guard and their respective dæmons, to go with the fic I just posted for it.

Andy: Hwehnto (Przewalski's horse)

Yeah, a wolf or some other predator might fit, but let's face it, the supreme horse girl should have a horse for a dæmon. *h₂weh₁n̥to- is Proto-Indo-European for "wind", butchered into a modernly comprehensible Hwehnto/Hwento. He is a very serious and stoic dæmon, much like Andy, but his outbursts of emotion are striking. He is vicious in battle and will not hesitate to attack both human and dæmon, if necessary.

I did also consider a tarpan for Andy, but there is literally one photo in existence of one. I generally assume that actually it would be some European wild horse so old it doesn't exist anymore, and we've lost all modern knowledge of it. So Przewalski's horse will do.

Quynh: Minh Nhat (white-lipped pit viper)

Of course our viper would have a viper! Small, quick and venomous. He doesn't have a name yet because, frankly, I don't speak Vietnamese and I want him to have a cool name like most dæmons have. His name is Minh Nhat, which means "bright sunlight", in contrast with Quynh's name. More outgoing than most dæmons, will talk casually with other humans, and is prone to little acts of thievery (thimbles, small nuts, little trinkets), mostly out of delight with the object than any malice. Very tiny! Likes spending his time tucked up Quynh's sleeve. Will not hesitate to bite a human should the need arise, but tucks himself in Quynh's collar or scarf when in battle.

I was torn between this and a red-headed krait, but ultimately went to an actual viper (well, pit viper, close enough).

Joe: Tayyib (scimitar oryx)

(Oddly difficult to find a photo of one alone, with no radio collar, that hasn't been shot by some bastard trophy hunter).

Tayyib (named that way for obvious reasons and chosen by Joe's mother's dæmon) represents everything poetic and artistic about Joe, and is calm and wise. Dislikes fighting, but will if he must: watch out for those horns! Yes, he is a male dæmon, a rarity, another commonality Joe shares with Nicky. I wonder why? A very good listener who gives good advice.

I don't know why I decided on another ungulate for this hapless team (can they even go anywhere?), but I did. I figured a desert antelope of some kind would be good for Joe, and it was a toss-up between this and an addax. I admit I chose it just for the name.

Nicky: Bonamico (Luzon bleeding-heart dove)

Geographically, it doesn't make sense. Symbolically? I had to. Bonamico is quiet, contemplative and kind, barely speaks except to Nicky, Joe or Tayyib, but is always concerned for those about him. He is far more nervous than Nicky, but stores a lot of knowledge, a trait he does share with Nicky. His favourite place to perch, other than Nicky's shoulder, is between Tayyib's horns (although occasionally he likes to sit on Joe's head). He does the scouting for the group, as the only bird dæmon.

This bird is the entire reason I made this damn AU. It's just too perfect. Look at this Catholic-ass bird!

Booker: Amandine (black rat)

*wheezing* I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm not sorry.

Now, the problem with dæmons is that we have rat symbolism, which is of rats as dirty and sneaky, but we're also modern human beings that know perfectly well rats are cute, intelligent and affectionate creatures that make amazing pets. Amandine herself is mostly just shy and quiet, although she does like it when she gets the chance to roast Booker, but then again, who doesn't? She is their little reconnaissance expert, being sent in to buildings and small places to chew through wires and spy. She, unlike Booker, is always supremely well-groomed.

I did consider a ferret or stoat, something a little more noble, but I personally do love rats so much and so I wanted a positive rat dæmon, for once.

Nile: Dakarai (red wolf)

I wanted to give Nile something supremely American, but she was in the Marines, and soldiers of most kinds tend to have dog dæmons, so no stereotypical birds. But Nile is also smart and quick-thinking, and family-oriented, so the red wolf made sense to me. Dakarai is loyal and far more serious than his human, a bit more cynical. Having been trained in a modern Armed Force, post-Geneva Convention, he's never touched another human being and has exclusively fought other dæmons. He is, of course, a good tracker.

Someone had to have a canine in this group. Might as well be Nile!

Bonus (under the cut for cockroach reasons):

James Copley: Vindemiatrix (common raven)

The Odin symbolism of the knowledge-seeker raven, honestly. She perches in odd places, watches everything, and reports back. She is a secret-keeper and prone to keeping her own counsel, not interacting much with other dæmons. She, like Copley, misses his wife and her Pallas's cat dæmon something fierce.

Stephen Merrick: Unnamed (American cockroach)

Need I say more? He deserves it.

Dr Meta Kozak: Unnamed (hagfish)

A disgusting dæmon for a disgusting woman, who burrows into people's bodies and eats them from the inside out. She carries the horrid thing in a lightweight tank backpack, one of the many modern accomodations for people with water-dwelling dæmons.

Keane: Unnamed (Eastern black rhino)

A beautifully noble dæmon, unfortunately wasted on a bastard.

Lykon: Unnamed (melanistic leopard)

She was graceful, majestic and courteous, and absolutely breathtaking in battle. She would dispense affection to daemon and human alike, much like Lykon himself.

[aromacaque]

Something I don't think a lot of queer people understand because the aro/ace community is very online-oriented is how little people actually know about aromanticism.

I feel like if you're predominantly in queer spaces (especially online) then of course you have at least heard of aro/ace identities, but IRL I have only met like 2 other aro people. Ever. In my entire life. Most people I meet tend to only know a little bit about it, or more than likely know nothing at all. Most people I meet have never met an aro person ever in their life (that they know of), and it Really shows. Because I think generally speaking most people know of other sexualities and trans people to some degree (i.e. gay, bi, trans). If they don't they definitely know of them. But that's not the same for aromantic people. So whenever I talk about myself, unless I explicitly give the label out to them so they can have a word to associate with my "abnormalities" or the things they think are strange (or even wrong) about me, then they just stare at me like I'm an anomaly.

I have been stared at like an anomaly. I have had many moments with people where me just being vaguely honest about my love life (or lack thereof) has been met with confusion and discomfort from the people around me. Multiple times where I can tell people are uncomfortable and HAVE A PROBLEM with me for either offhandedly mentioning I've never had a crush or just not having much of anything to contribute to a conversation regarding that stuff.

I have also had people claim they could be the exception or that they could "fix me." From both straight and queer people by the way.

My entire existence challenges so much of these people's concept of how social conventions work and so they immediately pinpoint me as being different.

To add to this, that feeling of alienation is very present in queer spaces as well. Being the only aromantic person in the room of other queer people, who claim to be accepting, yet you're always the afterthought? If even thought of at all? That's.. not really acceptance, is it? I don't think so.

I could get into more detail with this but the gist is that I've always felt more comfortable in queer spaces as a trans person than I ever have been as aromantic.

I genuinely don't think other queer people actually grasp how alienating and oppressive socially the experience of being aromantic is. They just see us as "basically cishet" or "QPRs are basically just dating!" when that couldn't be farther from the truth. The way I experience attraction is fundamentally different to the majority of the population, cishet AND lgbt sexualities combined. And it's really annoying to be treated as if we don't ever experience prejudice due to it.

[melrosing]

how do you see an AU where Joanna survives and her relationships with her children?

been thinking about this ask whilst eating spaghetti

I think it's a mess with all three. first of all, supposing Joanna survives Tyrion's birth, she also survives to seal the deal with the Princess of Dorne in sending one of the twins off to Sunspear to be betrothed.

and whilst I kind of like 'jam growing up in Dorne' aus, I do think it would most likely be Cersei who gets shipped off. that's namely because in taking Cersei, the PoD reserves Elia for marriage to Rhaegar (I'm sure she was biding her time for that), and in the same fell swoop removes Cersei as her competition (Cers would probably have ranked quite highly before Tywin and Aerys' falling out).

obvs Joanna would be conscious of that calculation on the PoD's part, but 1) she may not necessarily have had the same ambitions for Cersei as Tywin did, and 2) at this particular point Joanna probably needs the betrothal of one of her children to a Martell more than PoD does; she wants the twins separated, but they're still very young at this stage so she would want them in safe hands - and she was once close to the PoD, possibly saw her as an elder sister/mentor figure of her own. so a Martell betrothal is the safest way she can do this, and Cersei would be the one the PoD would offer to take I reckon

so Cersei is forced out of her home at a young age, and I think that could be pretty interesting in terms of Tywin and Joanna's marriage for one thing. like, I assume Tywin would resent two women going behind his back to betrothe his daughter when he expressly had plans to give her to Rhaegar. is he able to put a stop to it?? I think Joanna would insist on it, but that would cause a bit of a rift because Joanna isn't explaining WHY and maybe it's the first time he feels she's crossed a line in her role as his wife.

I ALSO think that if Joanna were to survive Tyrion's birth, some part of Tywin would blame his son's disability on Joanna. in killing Jo, Tyrion martyrs her, but if she survived then it's like she's somehow responsible in Tywin's fucked up mind. bc I don't think he could fathom having had anything to do with his son's conception himself if the son wasn't what he'd wanted. so generally yes I see their relationship being worse and probably more distant with fewer visits from KL.

ANYWAY I digress but thinking about where this situ leaves Joanna and her relationship w her kids!!

JAIME starting with Jaime cos I think this would, relatively speaking, be the most straightforward. I think of the Lannister siblings, all the key Lannisters generally find Jaime the easiest to love and I don't think Joanna would be an exception. I think she's absolutely the kind of mother who would love her sons better, because as a woman she doesn't take such a complicated and visceral view of them as she does her daughter.

HOWEVER she would of course recall what happened between Jaime and Cersei. and I think she would low-key blame Cersei. I think Cersei, whilst charming in her own way, was no doubt a kid who could be angry and sour and difficult to handle, whilst Jaime sounds comparably quite affable and easygoing. so the first fucked up thing Cersei and Joanna's relationship is that Jo decides Cersei is the one who came up with the 'game' so that she can mentally forgive Jaime, because it's easier than reckoning with her son being less than perfect.

and I think the result with Jaime is that he resents Joanna deeply for sending Cersei away, and he dislikes that she keeps trying to acquit him of what they were both doing, and consequently distances himself from her. I imagine them as close before that, so this hits Joanna hard and she turns that resentment on Cers, again making their relationship worse.

possibly the relationship between them heals a little as Jaime grows matures and maybe realises how upset Joanna must have been at the time, but I think he is always angry for what she did to Cersei and doesn't forgive her that.

CERSEI I imagine Cersei stays in Dorne till she's maybe 12-13, and then maybe is made lady in waiting to Elia in King's Landing. and I think she spends the whole time hating Joanna. like I kind of doubt that Oberyn and Cersei would like each other much, and Cersei would always remember she was supposed to be Rhaegar's Queen, and Dorne sucks etc and where's Jaime, and also just like imagine how traumatic to be seven and sent away to some strange place for doing something you didn't even really understand was wrong. of course she'd hate Joanna

I think she only comes home to the Rock intermittently from Dorne, and Joanna is subtly antagonistic to her every time in case Cersei 'corrupts' her son again + Cersei is probably antagonistic in return because Joanna is the one who ruined everything, so it's all fucked. Joanna probably still tries to temper her daughter into the lady she thinks she should be, and Cersei is just not having it. it's awful

TYRION I feel like there's two Schools of Thought (lmao) on how Joanna and Tyrion's relationship would be: one where Joanna dislikes her son but is just more tactful about it than Tywin, and one where they're actually close and Joanna fancies him a bit of a mini-me.

I think it could be BOTH. I think Joanna, who no doubt cares a great deal about her public image and is still v much a Lannister who somehow had it in her to love a man like Tywin (to whatever degree she did), would be disturbed at having birthed a disabled child and would never quite shake that. it would haunt her forever.

BUT Tyrion is smart and funny and desperately wants to love her and be loved by her, and I think she would respond to that with a love of her own. I think she'd try to raise him up beyond what everyone else thought of him, and there'd be a lot of whispering in one another's ears. but she can't raise him up beyond what she, deep down, thinks of him, and that's a bitter truth in their relationship all Tyrion's life. I think she punishes him more harshly than she would Jaime, and is less willing to tolerate any shortcoming in Tyrion - he has to be better in every sense he can be. so there are darker periods in their relationship with Joanna is crueler to Tyrion, and it utterly fucks with his head because he knows how warm she can be when she chooses to be and he doesn't know how to win her love back, it's just like one day she warms again and things are nice once more but he always fears her turning cold again

and I think a big part of this is Tywin blaming Joanna for Tyrion - I think she'd find that hideously unfair, but perhaps also believe it a little.

ANYWAY long post and this is a huge amount of conjecture but long story short I think Joanna is fucked too

[mildmayfoxe]

big fan of your romance novel complaint posts (love to see a fellow hater living it up) but i’m also curious if there are any you would recommend? not looking for anything in particular, just would love to hear your thoughts as someone else with nitpicky reading habits and a taste for trash

ok hello. i left you hanging for a FULL week and for that i am sorry but i wanted to be able to have some time to sit down and type out a real answer to which the short version is YES of course there are several that i have enjoyed!! my disclaimer is that i almost solely read gay romance so if you are looking for lesbian or even straight reccs i don't have much for you (although i will put a couple at the end anyway). hopefully something in this list is interesting to you or at least interesting to someone else! links are mostly to goodreads. break bc i'm gonna write too much

-kj charles is one of my fave authors in this genre bc they're all pretty reliable and there's a ton of them. they're all historical fiction and usually there's at least one murder- she's good at keeping a plot going while developing a romance. often supernatural or magical elements. sometimes cults! i've read almost all of the books she's written and have enjoyed them all

-charlie adhara wrote a really incredible werewolf series that i loved, the first of which is the wolf at the door. this is one of the only series i've read which keeps the emotional stakes up through the whole thing & kept me interested in a relationship after it was established bc sooo many series get boring the second the leads get together. i actually read the first book of the spin-off series (a pack of lies) first which is technically possible but i don't recommend bc i was like "wow they're really throwing me in here. i love it" and then i read the first series and i was like "oh i was supposed to know all this stuff." but i actually liked the dynamic between that couple better and i'm suffering every day because the next one still doesn't come out til 2025 and i read it in 2022. also worth noting that this (the original series) is cops-ajacent (~federal special agents~) and one of the characters is really prejudiced at the beginning & imo doesn't have enough character growth before it's waved away but if you can ignore that it's really good. mysteries! werewolves!

-speaking of werewolves (i could suggest several but i'll keep it to two) tj klune's wolfsong ends up at the top of a lot of gay werewolf novel lists (i'm keeping tabs) and there's a good reason. i enjoyed it a lot. made me kind of sad which is always a good sign to me. the writing voice was very fresh and novel at first but i did find it a little grating by the end so i've put off starting the second book in the series (it's also about a different couple which was disappointing) but i will get around to it. i enjoy tj klune in general although his recent stuff has a very different vibe than this and lightning struck heart is very 2015 in a bad way imo

-bone rider by j fally is a standalone that really delighted me. the russian mob? aliens? vaguely western? possession? throuple? it's got it all. very fun

-ok speaking of westerns there's this other series called magic & steam (yes it's steampunk. sorry. it's very silly) that starts with the engineer. a federal agent is sent to a town to apprehend a ~madman engineer~ except he runs into an infamous outlaw in the process. and the outlaw is really sexy. and probably why i enjoyed the series so much. the series also keeps them apart a lot in a way that i enjoy- i love when things take a long time. it's ongoing so this is another one that i keep checking for updates on

-i've read a lot of stuff by nr walker and they tend to be VERY hit or miss for me but one of my faves is evolved which is almost pure smut. it's about a sex robot that gains sentience. what more do i need to say. she also wrote a three-book series about an amnesiac that made me cry cry cry. and her cowboy (australian rancher) series is pretty ok. i could go through a list and tell you which novels of hers aren't worth it and which ones are good; i've read most of them

-salt magic skin magic by lee welch was a big surprise to me. cool magic, good folklore, fairies in there too. historical. big kj charles vibes which makes sense bc she edited it. welch also wrote a book called seducing the sorcerer which i had more mixed feelings about but had magic in it that i think about OFTEN (the horses)- that one's about an imposing sorcerer and a rundown groom cum handyman. and they're in their FORTIES!!! 🥳🥳🥳 (i love when books are not about 23 year olds)

-another one with a magic system i enjoyed was magician by kl noone. this was the first book i read by this author and i liked it but generally i find their books are too "nice" for me. i'm in the middle of one right now that i started months and months ago that i keep trying to go back to and it's sooo rough for me. but this one and the twelfth enchantment are pretty ok

-emily tesh wrote a duology of silver in the wood and drowned country that i loved because i am suuuuch a sucker for a wild man/green man story. really good. haunting! evocative! kj charles has a green man story too which was actually the first thing i read of hers (spectred isle)

-i complained about the monsterfucker book i was reading a while back but despite that i will also recommend the series it's from: lily mayne's monstrous, which starts with soul eater. are they messy? yes. are they repetitive? yes. are the monsters usually disappointingly humanoid? yes. are a lot of them about the military? also yes. so we're starting off on a bad foot. but the world building is interesting and there's LOTS of kinds of monsters and most of them were pretty fun. the one i just read (#7) was the worst one of the bunch though imo. and i have problems with #6. but 1 2 and 5 were good

-ok i should do a quickfire round. honeytrap: about two enemy agents during the cold war. put it off for a long time bc i didn't love that but it takes place over a VERY long period of time which is always interesting to me. zero at the bone: about a hitman who needs to protect a witness to a mob hit. really strong start but fell off a bit in the middle to the end imo.

-you'll notice a lot of these have subgenres of like fantasy historical supernatural etc but here's some regular contemporaries. a lot of these are about sad guys bc those are my favorite. best laid plans: hardware store owner helps a guy fix his house. in the middle of somewhere: same author actually. guy moves to small town to work at a college. mr jingle bells: this is a christmas one. bad title. fake dating. part of the reason i think i liked it so much is because i expected it to be awful but it was actually pretty good. good emotional stakes. published 2021 but feels very 2014. ignore that part. work for it: i rated this five stars but actually don't remember much what it was like. i think they were both really sad which i love. give me big emotions and i eat them right up with a spoon. i should read it again

-OK now i've got some straight & lesbian options. talia hibbert's brown sisters series is good and cute. she also wrote work for it, above. the unhoneymooners is the first real Romance Novel that i read and it really surprised me because i had fun! previously i had kind of written off romance novels as not for me but this kicked off a reading habit that is still going strong (primarily reading romance novels). i read this in 2020 so it might not be as good as i remember. as for lesbian options olivia waite has a series that i enjoyed that's also historical, and a friend of mine really enjoyed delilah green doesn't care (but i haven't read that one myself). and while not really romances i will always be a sarah waters fan: you may recognize her as the author of fingersmith, which is the novel park chan-wook's movie the handmaiden is based on. if you haven't seen the movie or read the book i recommend both. her books are very dramatic lesbian historical fiction; they don't always have happy endings but they're all very good

ok i think that's the end! regular disclaimer that romance is generally not a genre notable for Good Writing so a lot of these are just things i had fun with or just stuck out in my memory for having fun conceits etc. i can't guarantee that any of these are actually good, especially because this is a list solely based on my own taste and bad memory. would love to hear anybody's thoughts and/or if anybody has recommendations for ME!!! this post took me over three hours to write! crazy!

[yakuzacanons]

ok ok ok ok ok ok hear me out.... fem civillian reader stuck in a love PENTAGON with kiryu, daigo, majima, akiyama and saejima (am I crazy? Not at all) and hear me out! They all seem to get along as a group as they keep finding excuses to stay with her, they also do bicker alot with eachothers or try to steal her away for some time (none of them admit their crush to her tho), only ganging up when someone's bothering her. For some reason, Kiryu always manages to steal the show from his friends. (Oh my God I'm so sorry this is getting out of hand)

PLEASE this is so funny to me, I have been sitting on this ask for MONTHS now thinking about it. I am so sorry it took me so long but I finally have the goods, so here ya go!

First of all, the boys generally always do get along. This group dynamic is always fun to hangout with. Of course, YOU know who they are and their professions, etc. It was kind of scary at first; chances are, it was Akiyama that introduced you to the gang, as he's the only civillian there anyways.

Even though Akiyama was the one who started all this, you're pretty much equally close to all of them, the exception maybe being Daigo as he's the quietest and works the most. Chances are you just don't see him as regularly as the others.

You see Majima and Saejima the most and usually at the same time since the two tend to travel as a pair. They also bicker and tease each other (and you) the most. They're really into picking you up and carrying you around (Saejima IS better at this, by the way).

Kiryu and Daigo are more a mixed bag; sometimes you see them alone and sometimes they show up as a group since they work together. Both are always very kind and gentle around you but Daigo is the most noticeably shy at first. However, ironically he's the one that opens up the most around you as time goes on.

Akiyama is the first to notice that the other boys seem to like you as more than friends. He NEVER mentions this to you directly but he does love to stir the pot and ask you what you think of the other guys. He sometimes teases the guys as well, but only when you're not around. Mostly because he's fully aware he's had a crush on you for a while now and he can't blow his cover... but he also totally wants to sniff out how you're feeling or how they're feeling.

Kiryu is the hardest one to detect, man's stoic as hell. Honestly, he'll be the last one to realize he has a crush on you. Most of the time he's like "What? This is just how I am..." only to fully realize much much later that he is in fact only this way with you specifically and therefore you're really special to him.

Majima's the most likely to get physical with you but not in a sexual or uncomfortable way. He's a hugger for sure, which only makes Saejima and Daigo jealous in particular. Leans his head on your shoulder a lot too. Generally speaking, he's good at getting into close proximity with you.

Majima and Saejima compete the most. Very much "anything you can do, I can do better" deal which is hilarious for you and Akiyama to watch especially. There's been a couple times where the two of them bit off more than they can chew in a drinking challenge or something like that.

Akiyama teases them about it often, which only makes the three of them bicker more. Bickering just makes Daigo kind of shake his head or he'll try to make them make peace with each other which only makes them bicker with him, and so it goes on and on to your amusement.

Leave it to Kiryu to, whether he knows it or not, use these moments to get closer to you. He'll kind of just sigh and say something like "Ah, they're at it again, aren't they..." and joke about it with you. It isn't until the other four are done having their little tussle that they realize you'd spent the whole time just talking to Kiryu instead.

No one gets upset about it, although Majima might make some comment about Kiryu hogging your attention. It's always a little strange seeing some of the top brass of the Tojo Clan making a fuss over you; after all, you don't think you're all THAT special. Problem is, you are, very much so, to all five of them!

[pomplalamoose]

Master Luke Skywalker headcanons🩵✨

In my other headcanon posts I already mentioned a few ideas of mine of Luke as Master Skywalker (find a summary of them here) but I wanted to do an extra post because I have a ✨thing✨ for authority figures

• I'm totally biased in saying so but in my opinion Luke would be (or is) a great Jedi Master 

• he's kind, empathetic and patient; in my opinion the most important traits to have as a teacher 

• his own Jedi education isn't as long ago as it would have been if he had grown up in the Jedi temple, so I think he's easily able to put himself back into the shoes of a Padawan

• especially if some of his students are quick tempered, impulsive and easily frustrated when they don't progress as fast as they'd like to, just like he once was 

• he is able to successfully handle a wild assortment of personalities, finding ways to engage a rambunctious crowd just as well as the shy and more withdrawn individuals 

• likewise he matches his behavior accordingly 

• he's very well attuned to his surroundings, good at reading the room and deciding whether a more strict or calming approach is necessary

• he is stern when he needs to be, although I don't think he particularly likes it 

• he doesn't want to raise his voice either and I don't think he has to often except to get his student's attention from time to time

• just like in other parts of his life he always wants to understand why there is a conflict in the first place and will gladly act as negotiator if it means resolving a fight 

• or avoid having to take more drastic measures 

• if he gets angry though even the birds fall quiet

• it's like the life gets sucked out of everything 

• I said before that making him angry is not easy, so congrats to anyone who manages and also my serious condolences 

• even then he won't grow unrestrained though

• he'd never expose or punish someone in front of others

• he'll remain fair and will ask the person or group responsible to have a private conversation with him 

• that's what's so absolutely terrifying though

• his quiet anger is worse than if he'd just scream at them instead

• I don't think that anyone would be able to get used to this, not with how slowly and silently his anger approaches 

• you don't see it coming until it's too late 

• those who end up alone in that room with him never speak of it

• you see them leave looking pallid, many with tear stained faces 

• they never act up again after that

• of course rumours are going wild, the theories about what happened are endless

• yet everyone is too scared to find out for themselves and very happy to stay in their Master's good graces 

• he takes time to get to know every one of his Padawans very well and thus can tell what they might need from him at any given moment or in specific situations 

• do they need a compliment, so as not to loose faith in themselves? 

• a little joke and a gentle smile to lighten the mood? 

• reassurance to ease their mind? 

• maybe a little motivational speech?

• a pat on the back?

• or a hug?

• carefully voiced questions about their well being; do they need anything? Someone to talk to?

• do they need a break, some time for themselves?

• an offer to repeat any exercise after the official lessons of the day are done?

• a tease or a little bet to rouse their fighting spirit?

• a stern reprimand?

• a time out?

• generally I see him slightly differentiating not only in his demeanor towards the children, the teenagers and the young adults but in the way he structures their varying lessons as well

• he allows himself to be more relaxed and laid back with the kids 

• he wants them to feel safe and at home, so he makes sure they see him as a kind of parental figure in addition to being their teacher 

• also I think he'd teach them about the Force and their connection to it in a way that comes natural to them

• many children don't have a long attention span yet, so it's important to be engaging and let them have fun too

• I see Luke trying to keep his inputs short and simple to then make them discover what they just learned in a game themselves 

• like for example: being able to reach out, to feel the Force and all living beings surrounding you doesn't sound as cool as "learning a new trick to beat everyone else at hide and seek"

• likewise he wouldn't jump straight into meditation with them

• you can't force a child to meditate when it fails to sit still for longer than two minutes 

• Luke is aware this would only lead to them viewing meditation as negative, maybe even something alike to a punishment 

• so to avoid that I see him introducing it in a slow and careful way 

• like telling them stories that get increasingly longer over time 

• or making them color in pictures 

• really, any activity that includes mindfulness in some way is a welcome strategy 

• I think he'd be more strict with the teenagers and young adults 

• many of them haven't been with him since they were little and often need firm guidelines 

• not necessarily because any of them are especially rebellious or going through a phase™ but because it's easier to adapt to a new way of life with set rules 

• Luke knows that some of them come from a difficult background or had a hard journey to find him, so he wants to give them clear framework conditions to work with 

• a daily routine leaves less room for uncertainties and lends a sense of safety 

• still he welcomes a more personal approach in their shared free time if they are comfortable with it

• he's very interested to hear about their former lifes

• about their interest and hobbies

• their favorite dishes 

• the customs of their people

• their friends and family 

• and their favorite music 

• he'll share stories of his own as well, often involving his own struggles as a Padawan 

• nobody is supposed to feel like an outcast or a special case because they're older or somehow "different" from the others 

• still they are more prone to giving him an attitude than the kids are and Luke definitely isn't above paying them right back 

• he leans towards Yoda in that aspect; his patience may seem endless but if he can have some fun as well, he'll take the chance 

• repeating phrases that used to drive him mad when he was younger is his favorite thing to resort to

• the best example for that is probably "Don't try. Do!"

• alternatively he likes to come up with ridiculous sayings or advices that make no sense at all

• if someone is especially annoying he'll make them mediate in stupid positions, claiming that this particular pose is immensely important for their development

• even if someone should realize what's going on they don't have any prove to go by, so who are they to deny their Master?

• Luke thinks it's hilarious 

• I don't think it's uncommon for his students to be very intimidated by Luke though

• some of the newly arrived may even fear him 

• while he's beloved as a person and greatly admired for his skills, nobody can quite forget who it is they're living and sharing their meals with 

• especially those who haven't been around him for long yet and can't quite believe that, he too, is really just some dude 

• of course he's not just some dude but I feel like that's what Luke would like to be perceived as 

• to him it's important to be approachable no matter the circumstances

• he wants everyone to know he's always there to help and not just a teacher but a friend as well 

• the children don't struggle with this as much as his other students 

• everyone enjoys spending time with him but then he has these moments where he doesn't seem fully human anymore 

• his eyes are just a tad too bright, too piercing

• they see more than just his immediate surroundings

• when he looks at you it's either like he doesn't see you at all or too much, like illuminating even the last corners of your very being and turning you inside out 

• he's eerily quiet and his presence a mystery 

• not even the best of his students are able to sense him in the Force when he closes himself off

• he could be standing right in front of you and you wouldn't notice if that's what he wants 

• likewise his Force signature is often overwhelming for those still inexperienced

• often he appears out of thin air like a spectre and vanishes just the same 

• he senses whenever he's needed and will let himself be found but nobody knows where he goes to and what he does when alone 

• does he even sleep? 

• are we sure he's really eating and drinking or is that an illusion?

• seeing him tired or crumpled is such a rarety that nobody can remember if it ever happened before

• he doesn't always react the way one would expect him to

• sometimes he's smiling to himself, like he's listening in to someone not visible to everyone else 

• on some occasions his students find him unresponsive for hours 

• is his body still inhabitated? Where did his mind go?

• he never shows any signs of exertion 

• he always looks impeccable no matter the weather and circumstances 

• he seems to simply exist beyond external influences 

Quick authors note before we continue: 

I see Luke as a very responsible and trustworthy person and don't think he'd actually pursue one of his students in a romantic or sexual way; he's aware of the power imbalance and probably not comfortable with it.

While I'm sure there are some mutual attraction situations from time to time, he doesn't act on his feelings.

HOWEVER let's be really delusional and ignore that 

• Luke is usually very direct but in this case I'm sure he'd take his time 

• having a passing fancy is nothing out of the ordinary and he will make sure he's genuinely interested in you before risking to overstep his line as a teacher 

• even then he'd proceed with utmost care

• he does not want to make you uncomfortable in any way and should he find that you don't return his feelings, he'll withdraw immediately

• so he'll carefully start testing how far he can go and observe your respective reactions closely 

• to everyone else this won't seem suspicious at all 

• Luke often takes one or two of his students under his wing to keep them close by when he believes some extra support is needed 

• his innocent touches will linger a little bit longer than necessary though

• your shared eye contact, even during short conversations, is strangely intense 

• his smile suddenly more inviting 

• he often offers you his hand now

• it seems that his attention is always on you 

• are you imagining things?

• of course Luke would never invade your privacy to a point where he'd take a look inside your mind 

• he picks up on clues otherwise 

• for example, if he notices you are growing nervous or flustered around him more easily than usual, he'll take that as a good sign 

• he'll find reasons to ask for your opinion or makes up tasks that require you to help him

• he's adamant about you having one-on-one lessons with him 

• he's very aware of the effect he has on you and likes to tease mercilessly

• he'll lean down to whisper in your ear, reveling in the way it makes you shiver 

• will he outright tell you about his feelings though?

• I don't think so

• this last step he will leave up to you 

• it's important to him that it's what you want too

• he'll definitely continue to flirt but if you don't confront him about it, he won't go any further than that 

[silverview]

I love your tlw thoughts sm!! :D

I'm on like my sixth rewatch currently and I've been curious about how Chas seems to handle the "Mick" situation and I was wondering if you had any thoughts on that in particular?

aahh thank you so much!! ❤️❤️ that's such a good question! i will say as much as i have to say about it (very incoherent i'm afraid) + then would be VERY curious to hear your thoughts on the matter as well

it makes sense to me that chas doesn't react to the mick thing straight away. well, he tries to deny/avoid it, appropriately enough. he internalises the stress of it to avoid making it joe's problem. not necessarily the right or smart thing to do, but i genuinely think he is trying to be kind & generous by trying to ignore it. when he finally brings it up, it's reluctant – apologetic, even. he only mentions it because he can't help it anymore. i think he dislikes being (or seeing himself as) the sort of person who always has to say what he's thinking. and he feels bad for bringing down the weekend.

so, focusing specifically on the confrontation scene, as it turns out i have a lot of feelings about that (i mean how could i not, it's such a good scene). it's serving an important purpose wrt chas's characterisation and, because it's a very well-written episode, it's all in service of making the final twist more painful

firstly: "i don't mind. it's just that we normally tell each other when we're flirting with someone, and we laugh about it." just to make sure you know it's not the texting someone else that bothers him, it's the possibility that joe could be keeping a secret from him. because oh how very OPEN and TRUTHFUL they usually are with each other! how they always tell each other everything!

secondly, when he finally works up the courage to confront joe about it, he is .... i want to say gentle about it. he's not angry, he doesn't even speak loud enough for joe to hear him. he's sad, vulnerable, apologetic & clearly ready to forgive; all he wants is the truth. he confesses his own kiss with another guy, even though he could easily have gotten away with not saying anything, which i think is particularly significant for once again underlining the value he's placing on honesty & openness. and he instantly accepts the explanation joe gives him with no evidence. } all of which to say:

essentially what we're seeing here is chas reaching a character development apex. literally in that confrontation scene i think we see the culmination of his personal journey over the past nine (or eighteen, or forty-eight) years, where he has finally become the sort of person who will handle this situation in this specific way. (draw a parallel with reaching the penultimate/"depression" stage of grief, where it falls in the episode.) in a different context, it might be something to celebrate. on the positive side, he is no longer the angry person he was 18 years ago! he no longer lashes out! he has learned compassion and is willing to take responsibility for his own mistakes! and to look at it through a darker lens: joe has finally finished manipulating him into the perfect victim! narratively this scene is the end of the road for chas, there's nowhere else he has left to go except his finale

when he finds out mick is a woman, he says: "i've never been so happy." :) that's how you know the end is nigh of course. the betrayal isn't brutal enough unless it comes at the exact moment of maximum contentment, trust, and love. essentially the whole mick ordeal is there to test his trust in joe, to make sure it's finally 1000% solid and ready to be exploded

– by that i mean the script put it there to test him as a narrative device, but i suspect it was also an in-universe test/game. you're telling me joe has maintained this elaborate deception for years, and now suddenly he's leaving his phone lying around? he was doing it on purpose, to set chas up for the "worry -> relief & Peak Happiness -> ultimate betrayal" pipeline. absolute mad lad. someone capable of that has got to be INCREDIBLE in bed. makes you wonder what other little games he set up to torment chas over the years

[sylenth-l]

How tall would you say each character is, like warlocks and the hunters and Saint? (Timur, Osiris, Felwinter)(Cayde, Andal, Shiro,Tevis) like, do you have any head canons for that?

(Oh man, I remember I got similar question once, I wanted to do a proper lineup to answer that, but failed to do so in the end 😭)

I'm not sure about the exact height of each character, but I do have a rough idea of how they stand compared to each other! Also my general rule is that Felwinter is the tallest (with Big Red being the only exception taller than him) and Tevis is the shortest, so everyone else are somewhere in between and are measured by these two extremes. Also I must mention I'm not very consistent in terms of heights... Sometimes I just. fail to draw the proper height difference for various reasons OTL

For those you've mentioned, I'm pretty sure about the hunter pack - Shiro is the tallest among them, Cayde and Andal are roughly of the same height (but Cayde ofc always says he's taller because The Beautiful Horn), and Tevis is the shorty (sorry Tev, no offence). But in general their height difference isn't too dramatic, aside from Tevis, I think. For the others - well, as I said, Felwinter is the beanpole here. But Saint is also very tall, so I think he's maybe like only half a head shorter?.. Timur and Osiris both aren't short objectively speaking imo, but compared to these two marvels of Exo engineering of course they seem rather tiny 😅

I really want to do an all characters (those I frequently need, at least) lineup one day..........

[eri-pl]

I read the Book of Lost Tales 1 (-ish): general remarks + Ainulindale Music of the Ainur

First: I'm skipping the foreword and the Cottage of Lost Play, because it's boring and I'm in somewhat low-dopamine mode now. Sorry. Also, I will be skipping the frame story, for the same reason. Maybe I will do a reread eventually and do those parts too.

Second: Buying Tolkien books in English has as always turned out to be a good idea. Also, as for now I only have part 1, because part 2 is to be shipped arounf the New Year.

So, the proper part of this post:

The Music of the Ainur (under the cut because it's long and I do fangirl a lot)

First, we have a frame story, which…. has Rúmil and mentions Tevildo, the prince of cats. I skipped most of the rest. TLDR: we have Eriol, the isekai-ed (long before this was a word) guy, asking who are the Valar etc etc and Rúmil telling him that. Somewhat. But he starts with

Very mighty are the things that you ask, and their true answer delves beyond the uttermost confines of the waters of time, whither even the sight of Rúmil the aged of the Noldoli may not see.

[a pause for me squeeing on my thoughts I maybe should have done this reading at a different time but I got the book now so you'll have to bear with the breaks]

I love this sentence. It's so beautifully worded and I really appreciate Rúmil showing some humility and awareness of the limits of his knowledge here and generally

BTW is "delve" even a valid word here? It means "to search", so I guess it's some really poetic way to say "would have to be sought"?

I'm a bit confused here.

So yea, Rúmil and his, appropriately prefixed, answer. And I will not make a long digressions that you aren't interested in— Rúmil here, regardless of his prefixing, is giving some very good answers. In my opinion. So, Eriol asks what's the Music of the Ainur. Aaaand we get a chapter (sub-chapter?) break. And commentary. And then the text continues…

…with a remark from Christopher Tolkien that Ilúvatar was in the earliest writings Ilu. And it's one of the quite few, I think, big changes made in the Ainulindale part.

So, about the Music

things that have not been heard among the Men, and the Elves speak seldom of them ; yet did Manwë Súlimo Lord of Elves and Men, whisper them to the fathers of my father in the deeps of time.

The said fathers correspond, from what I understand, more or less to Ingwë in the modern version. So… not only this is not discussed among the Elves,but even Manwë relays it in a whisper and to his favorite Elf. Wow. Cool.

Of course, I can think of one Elf who would probably discuss it at some point. We all can. Let's take a break now to think about Finrod for a while and how much we like him. … Done? OK, we can continue.

Ilúvatar sang the Ainur into being and then made them dwellings in the void and taught them many things and greatest of them was music.

OK. So. Either a) Ingwë extrapolated that based on some vague remarks of Manwë and heavily anthropomorphicized (sp?) the Ainur or a') translation error or b) the Ainur are much more like Men and Elves then they seem in the Silmarillion.

Predictably, different people will prefer different versions here.

And Ilúvatar shows them the "mighty theme" which… is basically a complete story? With only adornments left to be added? What? He basically gives an outline to the Ainur.

This is one of the places where I very much prefer the Silmarillion version. Sorry, I lowkey hate this. I mean, yes, Ilúvarar would know the story… but showing it wholesale to the Ainur… and at the same time them being so humanlike? sorry, Professor, you lost me there.

I much prefer the free-willed, not-knowing-so-much (except Námo but not fully) Ainur than this weird mix.

Or are we to assume that this outline went to trash when Melkor did his thing? But this makes Ilúvatar look stupid. Sorry.

Now, instead of "voices like" we have the outright "the harpists, the flautists etc" which suggests very much the same image, just more anthropomorphicized, and sounds better to me.

I love the language here!!!

"…that ye exercize your minds and powers in adorning the theme to your own thoughts and devising"

"and a sound arose of mighty melodies changing and interchanging, mingling and dissolving among the thunder of harmonies" (also: "mingling" seems to be one of Tolkien's favorite words)

And not only language, the ideas too:

and the echo of the Music, and the echo of the echoes of Music which flowed even into the dark and empty spaces far off

This is such a powerful image. Edit: oh. I got an idea. it's about sub-creation! The echoes are fiction (the echo of echo are fanfiction? 🤣) and here we see Tolkien expressing the same "I wish it all was at least a little real" feeling well all know. The empty spaces are secondary worlds.

And we have a mention of the Second Music. So.

Then shall Ilúvatar's mightiest themes be played aright; for then the Ainur and Men will know his mind and heart as well as may be, and all his intent.

So. This is so much to unpack here. The lack of pronoun capitalisation feels odd to me. But. But

So the Ainur do not know so much at this point — I knew this was the case! Yes, fact confirmed! Ha!

Not sure why, but the phrase 'as well as may be" seems very fitting and is beautiful

What even is "aright"? Apparently it's "right, correctly" but wit a more beautiful word. I love it.

I also love the last part's sentence structure: "x and y [more text] and also z". Is this a more common thing? Or does it just sound beautiful?

OK, speaking of wording, but now funny / wdym?!?: "and it seemed very good [to Ilúvatar]". Either we are before the period when "seemed" implies "but was not", or Tolkien had no such period and it just seemed so to me, or …what? Probably the first option.

Or translation/repetition issues (in-world I mean. By Rúmil.).'

Aaaand yay! The idiot is introduced! And he's called Melko which makes him 10 times funnier.

Speaking of Tolkien's phrases: we are before the development of the "it came into his mind" cliche, because

it came into the heart of Melko to interweave matters of his own imagining that were not fitting to that great theme of Ilúvatar.

Not his mind, but his heart. I prefer the later version, where the heart is usually for good ideas. Also, we get no mentions as to why he decided to start improvising, which makes him seem somewhat less of a jerk… He's my fav, but I really like the Silmarillion's "because he wanted to seem more important" addition.

Because in this version it somewhat sounds like he rebeled against the predestination and stuff like that and… that is more like William Blake and sympathetic than just a primadonna mentality.

And honestly? I feel like the only kind of themes that would inherently clash with the given theme would be the stuff like "look how I'm better than you all" and similar. Or at least derived from such motivations.

I'm a page and half in the Music chapter proper and the post is already so long…

[Melko] fared often alone into the dark places and the voids seeking the Secret Fire that giveth Life and reality […] yet he found it not, for it dwelleth with Ilúvatar , and that he knew not till afterward.

Afterward of what? When did he learn that? I know it's not a "Manwë would tell it to Ingwë and he to Rúmil" kind of fact, but. I want to know. Because this is such a strange way to end this sentence.

Also, the Ainur didn't know… quite a lot, it seems? But later they learned about the Flame Imperishable. Because Manwë told it to Ingwë and so on. I suppose they learned that at the creation of the world? Even though in BoLT it's less … less awesome, for lack of a better wording. But we'll get there later.

Also, "the voids" is such an evocative phrase.

Also also I like the word "dwelleth" but that isn't surprising probably.

Also^3, what's the rule for ending 3rd person verbs in "-th" instead of "-s"? Just whenever you feel like it? Or does it change the meaning somehow (besides making it more archaic)?

Melko's "deep cunning" thoughts that he had not shown even to Ilúvatar. Which… a) does the idiot think Ilúvatar does not know about his dumb ideas? I suppose he does think this. See, that's one of the reasons why I call him "the idiot". Also: mood, a very particular mood. Why can't I read the book as intended. why do you give him character psychology sir. b) Does Rúmil think so too? Or does he just put spotlight on "Melko did not want to share those thoughts" with this phrasing?

We get more of beautiful descriptions (of ugly things ie Melko): "straightway harshness and discordancy rose about him". How can you describe something so crude with such poetic words? ♥

"Discordancy rose" sounds like a plant cultivar, I want this flower!

Edit: so, a sketch of Melko and the discordancy rose 🌹:

So, Melko darkens the Music,

for those thoughts of him came from the outer blackness whither Ilúvatar had not yet turned the light of his face ; and because his sccret thoughts had no kinship with the beauty of Ilúvatar's design

Again, so much to unpack!

We are again bordering on the problem of evil / evil as a standalone thing / are there places without Ilúvatar and melodies that do not come from Him? And that's so deep. That's a question so deep that a big spider lives there. Lived, to be more precise.

It also gives me a vibe of evil as hastiness, of things that would be good (the outer void, creating worlds there etc) if you just waited. I'm not sure, is "evil as overt hastiness into a good thing" my personal trope, or is it something wider?

"his sccret thoughts had no kinship with the beauty…" is such an extremely beautiful way to say that, and yes, I'm sad, but it's so so beautifully said!

Also: oh the whole complex thing of free will and all that, I feel like there are whole essays to be written just about this short fragment. But yea. Yea he can do that. Shouldn't. People can do that. Shouldn't. But yea. Let's have a break for me being sad now.

Yet sat Ilúvatar and hearkened till the music reached a depth of gloom and ugliness unimaginable ; then did he smile sadly

A very strong parenting mood XD but I have much less patience (obv).

I like it much more than the Silm, when it's just "smiled" and it's quite confusing.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we get to the introduction of the Third Theme, and Ilúvatar wept, literally wept. I do get why this is not in the Silm (doesn't fit the tone). I can't make my mind about which one I prefer.

BTW Tolkien loves to add "behold" freely amid the text. Like some people add salt into their food.

So, the themes. Third Theme and Melko's stuff:

these were utterly at variance. One was great and deep and beautiful , but it was mingled with unquenchable sorrow, while the other was now grown to unity and a system of its own, but was loud and vain and arrogant, braying triumphantly against the other as thought to drown it, yet ever, as it essayed to clash most fearsomly, finding itself but in some manner supplementing or harminizing with its rival.

…so. the length of this sentence is still urpassed by its beauty, and this, in turn, by the beauty of its meaning. But this is a long sentence anyway.

"Mingled with unquenchable sorrow" is so evocative.

We get a past (perfect?) form "was grown", which… you can do that? Or can you do that only in poetry? Or only if you rule over the English dictionary?

What's "braying"? per Cambrisge Dictionary: "to make the loud noise typical of a donkey". LOL!!!!!! I love it. XD such a perfect diss for Melko. I should check the dictionary more often. 🫏🫏🫏

The language, I love just all of it, the poetry of it, the passive voice of "finding itself" and the "but" added for further humilation :)

Also also, excuse me, music theory, but the only way I can think of a melody having the effect of "whatever the other melody does, it supplements the first" is the first melody being very deeply chromatic. (If "mingled with unquenchable sorrow" was not enough of a hint about it being chromatic).

"At the midmost of this echoing struggle" — I love the language of this book!!! Oh wait it gets better— "whereat the halls of Ilúvatar shook and a tremor run through the dark places" —!!!

…and like in the Silm, we get The Chord.

[deep breath and a break because of how awesome it all was]

Instead of the vision + an explicit creation, here Ilúvatar just says "BTW I made it as you were singing", which is kind of meh, and I much prefer the Silmarillion version. And

Maybe I shall love those things that come out of my song even as I love the Ainur who are of my thought, and maybe more.

I don't like the teasing tone of it but otherwise— !

Anyway we do get the reprimand of Melko, just like in the Silm, but with some more poetic language:

for lo! through Melko have terror as fire, and sorrow like dark waters, wrath like thunder, and evil as far from my light as the depths of the uttermost of the dark places come into the design […] has pain and misery been made in the clash of overwhelming musics;[… lots of cool words I won't type…] and death without hope.

And then it gets into a part which I don't feel like I 100% understand so no analysis here.

Also, another English word that's new to me: "redoundeth". Wiktionary to the rescue. It's basically "contributes" but also "echoes". I love it!!! Professor you are such agenius sir when one word means two things but they both make sense there… I love it. also, to some back, to result from something, also it's related to "redundancy".

Oh. Wait. redundancy. As in "it adds to it even though it doesn't need adding"… that's so genius. Because this is the word about how all Melko's junk will in the end contribute to make the whole desing better. That's just. Sir.

Wow.

The Ainur are afraid and confused. Another very human reaction. And Melko "was filled with shame and the anger of shame" which is a wonderful and very real way to describe a cerian feeling (narcissistic vibes my beloathed, yes, I know both shame and the anger of shame way too well).

And now in those "dark places" there' s a world. and here Melko gets the talk again, and all the Ainur, and I think this is when they learn where the Imperishable Flame is and where it was.

OK, I'm tired. There's a part of it still left, the analogue od Silm's Valaquenta, but I will finish this post here, and in the next post we'll get the descriptions of the Valar etc.