#of course hed do a live when i was at work really rude of him 🙄 😂

[startodump]

From matsujun's instalive he did the other day

[sakumasmut]

of course id still come back to reread my favorites ﾟ+.ﾟ(´▽`人)ﾟ+.ﾟ old darlingnon habits die hard!! such as me writing so much text.. and obviously having to add in a few sprinkles of 'hey i really liked this work from you it was awesome', i just know how much it means! and also not to be rude about it but could you remove what ive made for you to receive this phenomenal gift? no need to blow up my super secret cover in any way shape or form Σ(;ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉ im not living just a double secret life but a triple quadruple one! lets keep it that way! i act different on purpose after all! wahaha≡３≡３≡３but anyways back on topic. besides all this i just always hoped that maybe other people seeing me write nice long texts to creators i look up to would maybe also inspire others to do the same! i may not keep up with the writing scene as much as i used to.. but i hope you still get lots of recognition and nice comments from people all time round! and dont worry about any dates, i know deadlines can be scay,, i love surprises like these and id love to see what you can come up with! id say you know me pretty well by now anyway.. in the initial natsume post when you added at the end that hed praise you for dressing up so nicely for him i was like.. huhu.. i saw what you did there rei!! (thank you by the way. internally screaming) and i cant wait to see what youll eventually come up with!! whenever it is. no worries!! —darlingnon

ah yeah sorry about that, it’s been erased like it was never there 😶‍🌫️

and that’s a nice way to think about it, writing long messages and all! I definitely still get a lot of rambles (still need to post then when I have time) so I guess that counts as recognition? having so many people talking to me is nice, including you!

[i-simp-for-gintoki]

Gojo with a foreign s/o who can’t read japanese

“Gojo with a foreign reader who cant read the language and helps” me self

Decided just to do this for fun since this is kinda how i am. I can speak and listen really well but when it comes to writing or reading in another language it aint happenin chief

He loves hearing you talk

The accent isnt super strong but you still say things out of order or mispronounce stuff

He finds it adorable

Or how you get all confused when too many people are talking at once

Or if your spoken to too fast

Definitely teaches you the wrong words on purpose

But at the correct time

So like you'd mess up a word and instead of telling you the proper way to fix it he just says a random asspull to throw you off in the future

Constantly teases you about it

Theres only been one or two times when he’s truly been confused by what you were trying to say but he was quick to catch on

When he introduces you to his students, tricks you into saying something really insulting

In the end he doesn’t care that japanese isn’t your first language

But despite your speaking skills he did slowly notice something

If he ever gave you something to read like a movie pamphlet you wouldn’t comment much on it and would either read it waay to fast or waay to slow

Whenever you guys went out to eat you almost always got the same thing he did

And so he decided to test something

He took you out to a restaurant that you guys have never been too

Nothing too fancy just a 3-4 star restaurant

He hasn’t told you a thing about this place, the food, style, price, nothing

And you didn’t like it

Its been a few minutes since you guys have sat down and enough time to atleast know the style of food so he asks

“What are you gonna get?” he says, resting his head in one hand

“Who knows, just so many options ya know? What about you?” you ask but he shakes his head

“I asked first”

You stare at the menu for a few seconds and internally sigh

Pointing to a random one, you said it sounded pretty good but it might be a bit much for you

He simply hums at that

Little do you know he had given you a drinks menu, nothing to do with the food

“Y/n do you know my name?” he suddenly asks

“Huh, of course i do, its Satoru”

“Write it” “huh?”

He gives you a pen from his pocket and slides over a napkin

“Write my name”

At this point your starting to grow more nervous

He found out didn’t he, oh no he’s gonna see how stupid i am and break up. Who would want to date someone who can’t even read??

You do your best to write his name but he waves his hand in dismissal

“Nah, write it in kanji” “names are really specific though”

He sighs and proceeds to explain the kanji for his name which honestly just went right over your head

You attempted to write something and when you slide the napkin back, you hold your head down in shame

He looks down at the napkin and then back up towards you, blue eyes blocked by his sunglasses while he watches your depressed state

“Y/n, im gonna make a complete wild guess and say you can’t read or write Japanese” he says leaning back in his seat

You sigh, why lie?

“It’s that obvious?” you say finally raising your head

“Well to be honest, it did take a second for me to realize. Its pretty funny honestly” he laughs

“So are you gonna break up with me?” you ask and he looked genuinely surprised by your question

“Why would I do that? You really think I care for something as small as this? It would be different if you completely couldnt understand japanese, but we wouldnt be together in the first place then would we?”

God you loved him

It made you so happy to hear that

He starts buying you little kid books

Those books that are like cardboard, filled with pictures and only have one or two words each page? Yeah you have a small bookshelf full of them now

He’s very dedicated to this bit

Every night (if hes not away on a mission) he reads you a small story and expects you to follow along

If your not living together he’d call or facetime and read the stories

Gives you little flashcards to help you learn

He would be a great and horrible teacher

Like yeah sure he’d teach you some things but also completely skip over the rules for grammar and how to use certain words

you end up being able to write but its in a very arrogant and rude way

Everyone can tell its gojo who taught you how to write because of that

He’ll teach you a word or two but in the complete wrong accent solely for his own entertainment

Gojo would have you read the stories at some point and loves to hear you work out how to read a word

he loves seeing how happy you get when you finally read through a short story without messing up

“congrats! you now have the literature skills of a three year old” hed say with a bright smile and immediately rain on your parade

[dirt-cup-draco]

Pietro x Reader Part 2/2

Warnings: stalking 

Pietro had noticed the second you’d walked in. Your shoulders were stiff and your eyes were red like you’d been rubbing at them. He looked to Wanda to see if she had noticed but she just smiled and pulled you into a warm hug. 

“Glad to see you kiddo,” Tony spoke from his spot on the couch and Sam lifted his beer in agreement. Your smile was weak at best and your eyes flitted around as you waved at everyone else. Once your eyes found his though you were on a swift path to his side. He wouldn’t admit it but it certainly boosted his ago. But his main concern was you. 

Pietro’s arm fell around your shoulders and you immediately leaned into his side. “You okay Y/N?” He cut right to the chase but kept his voice low. You were never one to want to speak of your problems and if you felt like you were going to worry others you would bottle it up until you exploded. Hopefully if it was just you two you’d let him know what had you so skittish. 

“Of course, just happy to see everyone,” You spoke easily, your smile stretching as if it would erase any sign of stress on your face. He was going to ask again but then Steve was strolling in with several bowls of popcorn balanced in his arms and Natasha was dimming the lights as Vision started the movie. He couldn’t really pay attention though. You were still underneath his arm. The popcorn that had been set in your lap was empty twenty minutes after the film had started. You were a nervous eater, that was one of the first things hed learned about you. 

Once that distraction was gone you had turned your attention to your poor lip. It was tugged between your lip and you were chewing at it not so kindly. Your leg bounced up and down. Your eyes were pointed towards the screen but he wasn’t so sure you were really absorbing anything that was going on. After all he’d been blatantly staring at you and you hadn’t even turned to look at him yet. You hadn’t playfully jabbed your elbow into his side and your cheeks weren’t burning red with embarrassment. Your mind was clearly somewhere else. 

A loud sound from the action movie had you snapping back though and you stilled your leg, smiling at Pietro again but it didn’t reach your eyes. You were just trying to convince him you were fine and it wasn’t working. He knew better. Sometimes you were put on edge by the auras around you but everyone was relaxed, you were among friends and most of all you were with him. You had told him once his aura was your favorite, it erased all of the bad ones you ran into during the day. So what was hanging over you so heavily that he couldn’t break through? 

You were still worrying your lip between your teeth and he wanted to reach over and free it. You were going to make it bleed at this rate. Instead he just took the empty bowl from your lap and promised quietly to be right back. 

You weren’t surprised by him vanishing in a second followed by the sound of the microwave. There were just some things that he couldn’t speed up. You knew that he was worried. Every three seconds he was looking at you, his fingers fidgeted while he was thinking whether he realized it or not and they’d been drumming against your arm since the second youd leaned into his side. You felt awful for seeming so on edge. Seeing Adam had really put you into a sour mood. But most of all it had left you feel unsafe and violated. He had fucking followed you to the tower. Which meant he had to have followed you home at some point. Just waiting for you to leave. He knew where you lived, he knew your number, he knew you were meeting with the goddamn avengers and he was still texting you like hed helped you cross the street instead of stalking you. 

A rush of air and Pietro was seated back to you again, hot popcorn filling the bowl the brim. It was a nice gesture. 

“Thank you,” You spoke honestly. 

“Anything for you Princess,” He smiled. It was tight around the edges though and you knew that he wanted to talk more but it wasn’t the time or place but you felt an increasing guilt building up within you. 

Yet when the third movie of the night ended and your fifth bowl of popcorn had been emptied, yes you had a serious problem, yes you were absolutely sick now, you were tugging on your jacket and saying goodbye to everyone. You’d refused to turn your phone back on during the movies but now that you were on your way out you were depending on it. If anything happened you wanted your phone ready. You knew you could ask any one of your friends for a ride but you didn’t want to come across as a burden. You could even probably stay the night but you didn’t want to mooch off of Tony’s kindness. 

You had hugged each and every last person, a kiss on the cheek from Wanda, a slap on the back from Sam and a noogie from Bucky. Natasha was out cold on the couch and Clint had left after the second movie. But Pietro followed you to the elevator, worry deep set in his baby blues. You squeezed his arm, muttering, “Goodnight sunshine,” the same time he asked,  “What wont you tell me that’s been on your mind all night?” 

You looked like you were about to speak up when your phone starting dinging, one after the other. Four sharp noises in the otherwise tense silence that had begun to span between you and your dearest friend. You knew who it would be once you looked at your phone and your anxiety spiked. Yet at the same time it seemed to harden your resolve. You shouldn’t bother them with something so trivial. You were just being dramatic and nothing would happen. Pietro and the rest of your friends saw evil every day and dealt with hardships you could only imagine. It would be selfish to drag him into this foolish bump in your otherwise smooth road. 

“It’s nothing Piet, really, I’ll text you once I’m home alright?” 

He sighed and his shoulders sagged and it broke your heart but he was nodding. His hand gripped your shoulder and he was tugging you close so he could press his lips against your forehead. 

“Sure you don’t want a ride?”

“Stop worrying it doesnt suit you,” You tried teasing, “The weather is still fine enough and I need the fresh air.”

“I wouldn’t even have to give you a ride, I could just run you home,” 

You laughed a little bit and he was glad to see that it was the most genuine action you’d had all night. “Thank you, but that always makes me feel sicker than a dog, you know that,” 

He finally let you go but he didn’t miss the way you glanced at your phone as the elevator doors closed, your eyes flashing anxiously as your leg started bouncing again. Something on your phone was causing you to panic in a matter of a second and he was desperate to help. It might not be right but he was worried for you. He would follow you home, at a distance of course, just to make sure you were okay. That was purely innocent. He just needed to know you were alright that was all. It wasn’t safe to walk home anyway. 

The elevator lowered and the hollow feeling in your stomach worsened. 

What business do you have that is so late?

Hard working woman, I like that.

I tried calling, is your phone off?

Are you ignoring me? That’s really rude you know

Text back as soon as possible! We have to talk.

Text after text and you were paused in the lobby. Once you walked out those doors you weren’t sure if he was going to be out there. But he said you should text him back. If he was still waiting he probably would have said you two would talk later, right? You bit your lip hard as if the pain would make you make up your decision. After pacing for a second you finally pushed against the doors. The air blew your hair around and your heartbeat was erratic. 

You began to walk but you were slow, eyes darting at every shadow and alley and noise. Your breathing sounded loud in your own ears and every once in a while you peaked down at your phone. You left it on your contacts. If anything happened all you had to do was call the quickest man you knew. That thought relaxed you and not ten minutes later you had made it to your block .You could see your apartment window from here. Your shoulders drooped but the relief was short lived. Your phone rang out loud.

You nearly dropped it at the startling sound and then you almost threw your phone into the street when your called ID revealed it to be Adam on the other end. You quickly hit the red button, ending the call. You walked faster and your leg was on the step to your complex when a hand was grabbing your hand. “You know it’s not nice to ignore people Y/N” The sound of his voice grated at every nerve in your body and you were frozen still. 

“Please leave me alone,” You whimpered, shrugging your arm against his hold. 

“You won’t even give me a chance! All woman are liars! Lying awful bitches!” You winced and shrank, tugging harder against him. 

“Just let me go!” You shrieked.

Suddenly you were free, stumbling and falling against the concrete stairs you had started to ascend before Adam had grabbed hold of you. You had only blinked but when you focused again the frightening man, with his bubbling aura and suffocating presence was groaning on the ground several feet away while a shock of blonde hair and a comforting pair of blue eyes were in front of you. 

Pietro’s hands were on your face, his forehead pressing against yours as he asked if you were okay. You nodded quickly, hands gripping his wrists to ground yourself. Oh god you were so glad he’d come. Every thought had gone from your mind and fear had frozen you. You weren’t sure you wouldv’e been able to get away if your sunshine hadn’t arrived. 

Once he knew you were okay he pulled away, walking to Adam with slow measured steps. “If you ever come near her again, contact her, or even fucking think about her I will know and I will make sure you stay away permanently.” He threatened with surprising venom. You had never heard Pietro sound so violent before, It would have been frightening if you didn’t know the actually gentle man. Adam whimpered and crawled on the cement away from Pietro’s towering form. 

“Alright you fucking freak, get the fuck away from me,” Adam’s voice cracked and you were grateful that the imposing monster that he had become in your mind had vulnerabilities. More importantly he looked like he had shit his pants. He looked pitiful and nothing was more satisfying in that moment. 

Yet your hands were still shaking and you only felt okay when in a spit second decision Pietro had hoisted Adam up by  the collar of his shirt and sped him away. You sat on the steps in shock and wrapped your arms around your knees. You knew he wasn’t gone for long yet it seemed like forever before Pietro appeared before you. He looked very unhappy. Without a word he was taking your keys from your hand and was tossing your over his shoulder even as you protested. In a blur you were inside your apartment and he was setting your keys down on your counter. Angel lifted an uninterested head and then went back to snoozing on the floor.

“We could’ve walked,” You muttered as Pietro paced in your kitchen, his hands tugging at his hair. His lips were set in a hard line and his eyes were cold. It made your stomach turn. His aura was usually a bright yellow yet it was bubbling at the edges, red curling up and choking out the sun. He was angry. 

“What the hell was that about? Are you crazy? How long has this been going on? W-who even was that guy? Y/N-! I just... Where do I even start? How are you not saying anything!” He burst out all at once, going to you, arms grabbing your shoulders tight as he shook you gently. The anger was already fading at your wide eyed look and his grip loosened. It was replaced by his worry again and you felt so guilty. 

“I-I thought I had it under control, I’m sorry” you supplied lamely. You grabbed his wrists and tugged his hands off of you, letting them dangle in front of you as you held his hands. You knew he wanted more from you. “It’s only been a couple of days, he asked me for my number at the gas station, but I said no! And then he saw me at the park walking Angel, he called me out on my lie and I felt obligated to give him my number. A-and then when I got to the tower tonight he was outside, he followed me Piet! H-he followed me home and followed me back and it was fucking scary and he wouldn’t stop texting me and I’m sorry I dont know why I didnt tell you I was just too scared. His aura.... it was suffocating.”

You were rambling. You knew it but you were home safe with your person and he knew the situation and you couldn’t help it you were letting go of everything youd been holding onto and it was so much all at once. Tears were coming fast and hot, trailing down  your cheeks. Strong arms were around you without a moments notice and your knees grew weak. 

“I was so scared...” You choked, burrowing against his warmth and safety. 

“It’s alright, princess, it’s okay I’m not upset. You’re safe with me. He won’t bother you again, okay?” He said, hand coming to cradle the back of your head as he lead you to your couch. You sniffled, a shuddering breath escaping your lips as Pietro pressed a reassuring kiss to your cheek. Your sobs paused and he brushed his lips against your nose, your forehead, your brow bone. 

“Please dont cry Y/N, you’re safe with me, always,” He said desperately and you nodded, sniffling more to hold back your tears. 

“I know sunshine, you’re my safe place, a-always have been,” You hiccuped nuzzling your nose against his. “I’m so sorry,” You apologized again. He looked really upset still and you knew it was only because you were scared and crying. 

His hand was comforting on your back and he rubbed circles repetitively into the skin there. Things quieted and you were slumped against him, your tears drying as his shirt soaked up all your fears and anxieties. Your breathing had evened out and you hadn’t moved in awhile, he was scared to move because he thought youd fallen asleep but he didn’t want to assume that you wanted him there so he slowly removed you from his lap. But he was met with immediate resistance. “Please don’t go, I need you,” You spoke, head raising. 

Your eyes were ringed with red and there were dried streaks on your cheeks. He raised his hand and let his thumb rub at the evidence of your distress. “Are you sure?” You nodded and grabbed his wrist, kissing his palm before leaning your cheek into his warm calloused hand. “I wouldn’t want anyone else to be here with me,” You admitted. 

He smiled a little. “You’re going to give me a big head princess,” You smiled a little bit easier and he was glad to see that you were coming back from your stressful day. It helped a lot that you had such a good protector. 

You kissed the corner of his mouth and giggled at the blush that immediately colored his cheeks. You two had always been affectionate but that was a little too close for comfort. 

“I think we should get you to bed,” He stumbled over his words, unable to meet your eyes. You wrapped your arms around his neck though and made yourself more comfortable in his lap. He was your safe place and your sunshine and your everything. Meeting him had been the best thing that had ever happened to you. He kept you safe, he cared for you, he was wonderful. You’d liked Pietro for a long time. You leaned in but found your lips connected to his cheek instead of his lips. His chest was rising and falling rapidly. 

“Y/N,” He said, his voice stern, “You’ve been through a lot tonight, don’t do anything you might regret just because you need comfort...” 

Your heart fell. “T-thats not what I’m doing Piet! I just... I know what I’m doing, I’m thinking clearly...” You said, shame coming over you even as you spoke. 

His eyes softened a little bit and he brought his arms back around you. “I want what you want, truly, but I think you need to get some rest before we do or talk about anything, okay? I will stay Princess, we can talk more in the morning okay? It’s not a rejection, god knows I could never reject you, but this isn’t the time,” 

You were lucky to have him. 

You let your forehead fall against his shoulder and you nodded. “You’re right, I’m sorry... I promise that I’ll still want to kiss you in the morning though,” He laughed and it was warm and hearty. It made you feel so much better.

“I look forward to it princess, now get some sleep,” He said, leading you to your room. After your were in pajamas and under the covers he came in to wish you goodnight. 

“You can rest, I’ll keep you safe,” He promised with a smile that left you feeling warm. 

“I know you will,” 

[ellana-ravenwood]

Salt, Tequila, Lemon - Jason Todd x Reader

Please read this intro, thank you very much :  

So. I posted this yesterday, but after a bug on the Tumblr app on my phone it got deleted. I’m super bummed out because it had over 200 notes and quite a few feedbacks that I never got to read because it was accidentally deleted...If the people that took the time to comment things on the story could take a bit more time to write a little comment again and give me their feedbacks, and also if the people that liked and reblog could do it once more...i’d appreciate the hell out of you <3.  So reposting it (thanks god I always have back ups of all my stories now). Written in twenty minutes during my break at work. Bam. Hope you’ll like it :

Also, since Tumblr’s new guidelines and enforcement of it, I DON’T really appear in searches anymore, so the only way for this story to be seen by others than those who follow me is to reblog it. So if you wanna, you can show your support for my writing by doing just that. Thanks very much. You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

_________________________________________________

Ok. So. Grandma’s remedy against heartbreak ? Oh, right. 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

Got it. Licking the back of your hand to make the salt stick to it, you pour yourself a massive shot of “To-Kill-Ya” in your coffee mug, not even caring about the fact that there is still some remnant of your cappuccino from last night in it. 

You focus on the sound the liquid makes as it fills your cup. Makes you think about something else. Good. Yup. This was totally gonna help right now. 

“Cheers”, you exclaim to yourself, your empty apartment echoing your voice. 

Salt. 

Wincing. Stingy. Salt on its own is gross. 

Tequila. 

More wincing. Oh my god, it burns. The coffee that was still at the bottom of the cup is an oddly nice touch. 

Lemon. 

The last of the Wincing. 

You spit the piece of lemon you just bit into in the trash and…miss. The yellow fruit falls with a little flat sound on the floor, and you honestly can’t bother to pick it up. Your apartment is a mess anyway, so you just stare at it angrily and pour yourself another drink. 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

You gulp the last of the citrus and shiver. Miss the trash again. 

Damn. This was good. 

Well, actually, it was disgusting. 

You didn’t like strong alcohol and what the Hell ?! Why did you leave a bit of coffee in your cup ? Now that the aftertaste was kicking in, it was actually really gross. If the tequila itself didn’t make you wanna throw up, the stale coffee taste nearly did. Oh, and the salt and lemon combination was as awful as ever. 

You really didn’t like salt, tequila, or lemon. 

But it was still good. 

Because thanks to all this immediate awfulness, you could slowly feel yourself drift into “haze land”, and forget about your worries. 

Forget that your boyfriend of two years just cheated on you with some random woman you worked with. Woman that, by the way, he met at the Christmas “end of the year” party from you work you invited him to…You gave him free champagne and mise-en-bouche and all your love, and he broke your heart. 

It wasn’t your thing, to drink your sorrow away. And it wasn’t your thing either to wallow because of a man…But you genuinely thought he was “the one” (oh what a mistake you would soon realize that was). 

He was always so nice, treating you like a princess. He complimented you daily, and never forgot an important date. He was affectionate, not to an annoying point. He was the perfectamount of affectionate. He was a gentleman and seemed to love you and yet, he betrayed you. 

If a man like him, that was nothing short but sweet and passionate with you, cheated on you, then did that mean you couldn’t trust anyone ? 

Because in your eyes right now, he was perfect. Albeit said eyes were slightly clouded by a a few tequila shots. 

You were downing a fourth drink starting to slowly sob when…

There’s very few things that can get you out of a drunk state in seconds. 

An extremely cold shower could do the trick, for instance. Brings you back to your senses a bit you know ? You wouldn’t magically be sober, but you’d get a clearer mind. Or someone giving you shocking news ! Or like, an event so incredible that your body just forgets how drunk it is for a minute. 

And this event, for you, came at the perfect time. 

Right when you were entering your “sad drunk” phase, which was between the “lol alcohol does NOTHING to me” phase where you downed most of your drinks, and the “dancing on the bar’s counter” phase (a few more drinks and you would have a one woman dance party in your living room, acting as if you were on a bar’s counter and that your name was suddenly “Britney”).

Right when you were about to wallow times a thousand, and cry, and yell “whyyyyyyy ?!” to the sky, arms in the air (drama queen). 

Years later, looking back on that particular event, you’ll start to realize that Destiny HAS to exist. Because come on, it was just too perfect a timing to be a simple coincidence. 

You were about to swallow up your fifth drink, launching yourself head first into the “sad phase” when an ear shattering noise rang all around your apartment. 

Broken glass. 

It was the sound of broken glass. Heightened to the max by your drunkness. You turned on your stool, and…there he was. 

It was a guy. That you were sure of because he had no boobs and too much pecs. And that guy…well that guy just flew right through your window, destroying it. How rude. 

There was glass everywhere. 

How much did a window cost ? Probably a fortune. 

You wondered briefly if you could just use aluminium foil and tape the shit up. There was nothing of value to steal in your apartment anyway, and if aluminium foil could keep meals warm, it definitely worked with a house too right ? 

You sobered up quite a bit, but you were also very drunk when this event happened, so your mind was still in that cloudy weird phase where your priorities were…interesting. 

You worried more about the broken window at first, than about that guy who just launched through it. 

A guy. 

Not just any guy. 

You saw that guy before. 

He was one of those night vigilante your crazy hometown was filled with…RED HOOD !! 

“Thick thighs”, is the first thing you thought right after you recognized him (priorities). 

The second thing you thought was that you needed another drink, and so you downed what was your fifth one, but with that crazy thing happening ended up being on the same level as if it was a second one. You were tipsy, but not “drunk” anymore. 

The third thing that came to your mind was…Is he still alive ? 

No cause, he was like, just laying there, on your living room’s floor, not moving. 

“…Outch.” 

Oh. He spoke. 

So he ain’t dead. Good, means you can have another drink then, you don’t need a clear mind to call an ambulance or something. 

Oddly enough, in your half-drunk half-sober state, this sounded completely reasonable. Nevermind if Red Hood had some internal bleeding or something. He talked. He was probably fine. 

A minute passed, and you just sat there, sipping up your tequila in between taking a pinch of salt and biting into a piece of lemon. 

Salt, tequila, lemon. Great remedy against heartbreaks. 

Wait, were you heartbroken ? Really ? You couldn’t really recall that fact now. But, yeah…it was the reason why you were drinking right ? Because right now, all you could think about was the fact that this Red hood guy had abs for days…

This unforeseen event sobered you up quite a bit, but the two shots you just took kinda brought you back to the same state than you were before.

Well. Not quite. You were drunk as hell again, but seemed to have avoided the “sad phase”. Instead, Red Hood bursting quite literally through your window took you to another road. 

The : “Cool, I got a drinking buddy phase”. Well, taking for granted he didn’t have any internal bleeding and wouldn’t die while biting into a lemon wedge. 

“Tough day ?” 

You ask him, as he slowly sits up and shakes his head, trying to regain his senses. He looks towards you and seem surprised (or at least you think he is, because he wears a mask so…kinda hard to tell). 

************

Jason definitely thought he was alone in this place, because no sane person would just sit there, not saying anything, as someone simply jumped through their window. Nope, most people would just freak out. Scream. 

He knows, because it’s not the first time he falls through a window during a night on duty. And every single time it happened, people freaked out. Screamed. Threw stuffs at him, or hid away begging for their life to be spared. 

And yet here you were, half a bottle of tequila in front of you, surrounded by lemon wedges you bit into, and table salt all over your hand, just staring at him curiously. And did you just say : “tough day” ?  

Well, Jason guessed the empty half of the bottle was why you were so chilled about it all. He sat up, and slowly got back to his feet. 

Usually, going through a window meant the end of the night for him. He’d go back to one of his secret stash, patch himself up and get some rest. Most of the time, he fell through windows because someone pushed him or threw him there…Though today, he just embarrassingly missed a step and fell by himself. 

Of course, no one would ever now he tripped while jumping from one building to another (you lived on the last floor) and went careening into your home (and life). Nope, the official story would be that he fought a fierce enemy and was thrown into that window. Finding fake villains name was easy, given how truly ridiculous some could be. 

Tim and Damian were still after the “Illusive Blue Man” that he totally made up that one time he walked into a poll and had a huge black eye that he couldn’t quite explain…Oh man, he had to stop telling such elaborate lies and just say “I fought with a few guys last night” without more explanation. 

But he couldn’t help it. And those kids believed everything he said, it was too tempting…But for now, this wasn’t the issue. Nope. 

He did a quick check of his body and knew he wasn’t really hurt (thanks “dad” for the amazing body armor ugh ?), so he was planning on leaving that poor girl’s house and send a mystery check in the mail to pay for the damage (money stolen from a certain Bruce Wayne of course, as if he would pay himself). 

Yup. He was just gonna stand up, and go on his way and…somehow, he found himself sitting on the stool opposite side of this mysterious girl, and now she was peppering salt on his hand ? 

“Salt”, she says, and she has a cute drunk voice. Jason almost forgets he just went through a window a few minutes ago. 

“Tequila”, she continues, downing her drink and pointing at the one she poured him. He doesn’t even care the she poured it in a cereal bowl that she didn’t even seem to have clean…He drunk worst things in worst recipient. He turns away to take off his mask and so that she can’t see his face, and “bottom’s up”. 

“Lemon !” she finishes, biting into the sour fruit and spitting it in the direction of the trashcan but missing completely. The lemon wedge goes to lost itself amongst his fallen brothers…

Jason bites into his own lemons, and spits it. Right into the garbage. 

There’s a slight pause, where she just stares at the trashcan, and then at Jason, back to the trashcan, and then turns to him again and simply says : 

“Wow.” 

************

So. This was surreal. 

Here you were. In your home. Taking tequila shots. With…Red Hood. 

One of Gotham’s night vigilante. The most violent one. But the dude seemed chilled. He was holding his liquor really well. 

And now you were talking about your broken heart, telling him the story as if he’d been your friend for years. And he was listening. Intently. And reacting to what you were saying. It had been a LONG time, since you had this kind of talk with anyone, and despite the fact you were drunk, you still noticed how nice it felt to have someone to talk to. Someone that genuinely listened. 

“And then he slept with her !” you say angrily. 

“Nooooooo !?!” 

“Yes, he did ! He slept with…with…what was her name…”

“Nicole. From accounting.” 

“Right, Nicole from accounting ! That bitch ! She always just…counts and shit ! And he slept with her ! Nicole from accounting ! Whom he met thanks to me, by the way ! At a partyyyy !! At my wooooork !!” 

“What an ass.” 

“Right ?! Oh but he had such a good ass though…Quite firm. But whenever he wore jeans, it was super flat.” 

“So, not such a good ass in the end then ?” 

“I guess not. You have a good ass. Popping right out in this outfit of yours.” 

Red Hood chuckles, and the sound of his laughter makes you forget that you just said something incredibly embarrassing. His voice is…nice. Deep. Manly. You like it. You wanna make him chuckle some more, so you say, hoping : 

“And it looks very firm. Not just quite firm.” 

It works. He snorts and it’s very cute. Oh wow. He can be sexy and cute. Full package. You smile a bit dreamily. 

For a second, he’s lost in that smile of yours, and there’s a silence installing itself in the room. A comfortable one. That you break : 

“Ok. So now, he’s not that perfect anymore ! He got no ass ! Penalty points ! I never notice how un-assed he was before…” 

Jason smiles and damn. He’s hot. 

Somewhere along the way, he stopped turning his face away from you whenever he took a shot, and just ended up taking his helmet off. He was probably hoping that you’d black out or something, so you wouldn’t remember his face (or he just didn’t care). 

In any case, you were pretty sure you never saw him before. His face kinda reminded you of an old memory. Of someone you saw somewhere long ago, when you were a kid…Which wasn’t really a big help right ? 

Right. You had no idea who he was. And in your drunken state, probably couldn’t piece anything together anyway. So even if you did know who he could be, you wouldn’t know in the end anyway…Makes perfect sense right ?

What you knew was : he’s hot. 

This white streak in his hair did something to you that you couldn’t explain. And that jawline ? You would love to get cut on that bitch.  It could actually cut a bitch, you were sure of it. Those blue eyes ? You’ve never seen someone with such blue eyes. And did you mention to yourself how muscular he was ? Because man you only saw guys like this in magazines ! 

But beyond his handsome features, he seemed like a nice guy. Like he was listening to you, a total stranger. And this realization suddenly raised your guard up. 

You also thought that your ex-cheating-boyfriend was a nice guy. And come to think of it, who the hell just barge in someone’s home like that, and actually stay to drink tequila shots ?! Wait but…in your guts…it’s not like with your ex. 

You don’t think he’s a nice guy. You know he is. 

************

There’s a visible shift in your mood, after this realization. So far, you talked to him about your broken heart freely, and he listened. 

Oddly enough, no words that came out of your (perfect) mouth bored him. Jason wasn’t sure wether it was the alcohol or not, but you captivated him. 

But in a split second, and without him knowing why, your features changed. You were now frowning. Like an unhappy little kid. It was kinda cute, but he didn’t like it because…why were you frowning ? 

He tries to lighten up the mood and says : 

“Well here you go. See, you didn’t loose the perfect guy, his ass was flat in jeans. Can’t work with that, can you ? I bet we can find other flaws. Make you realize he actually was a looser.”  

Your guard is up, but you can’t help but smile a bit, plus you were frowning just now because you realized you just knew you could trust that total stranger, and it was so weird…. 

Besides, no harm in indulging this, because you’re pretty sure it’ll make you feel better to try and see the bad side of your ex-boyfriend, not just his good ones. No one was perfect. And so, still a bit careful, you say : 

“Well…He never got any of my Tv shows or movie references.” 

“Well, here’s a point to take off of his “perfectness”. Doesn’t get pop culture references. Deal breaker.” 

“Yeah…Yeah you’re right. It is. He also used to hate when I made jokes. I like puns ya know ? Terrible ones. Well, he was always embarrassed whenever I made them in public.” 

“Ashamed of his girlfriend, doesn’t sound very gentlemanly, right ?” 

“Yeah. It doesn’t. Maybe he wasn’t such a perfect gentleman…He also used to not want to go out with me if I didn’t wear any make-up and was dressed just casually.” 

“What you mean, he never just went out with you ?” 

“We only went out on dates. I had to dress up. I could be casual home though…” 

“Well goodie, the man let you be yourself when you were home. Big deal. To be honest, sounds like a douchey move.” 

“That was kinda douchey…I never cared what he looked like.” 

And it’s true. For you, physical appearance wasn’t everything. And sure you thought your ex was hot and all, but only because you liked his personality too. You liked his jokes, you were never ashamed of anything he said. 

And right now, sure that stranger that bursted through your window was hot, but the reason you felt like you could tell him things was because he just made you comfortable by his mere aura. Because he gave you such a good vibe. 

You never were fully about appearances. It was always just a bonus for you…So it never occurred to you why your ex would only hang out in public with you if you were pampered. Like he used to hate when you just wore hoodies and no make-up, even if you didn’t need make-up to be beautiful. 

Comes to think of it, he was very much about appearances…Uh. Interesting. You never realized that before. 

You turn to Red Hood, and the look on your face says it all. You’re slowly realizing maybe you didn’t just lost “the one”. The vigilante says : 

“Ok, so : no ass, no humor apparently, doesn’t get pop culture references, and was kind of a jerk when it came to going out with you…” 

“He did tell me often that I was beautiful though. Including when I just woke up from a night out, and was awful looking.”

“Yeah, but he never went out with you looking like that. He shouldn’t feel ashamed of hanging out with you looking like that. Just like he shouldn’t feel embarrassed when you joke. He can be exasperated, like if you really make bad puns, sure. And he can think it’s unfunny…But embarrassed ? No.” 

“I guess…I never thought about it.” 

“Well let me tell you, as someone who does not know neither you nor him personally, he sounds like a bit of a jerk. Let’s not forget he cheated as well. Like, that’s not something good people do. Especially not with…Nicole from accounting.” 

“Nicole from accounting…Yeah. They’re together now though.” 

“So ? He should’ve broken up with you if he realized he liked her. That’s the right thing to do. Trust me on that, I put villains behind bars for a living, I know what’s right or wrong.” 

“I heard you kill criminals.” 

“Used to. I used to kill criminals, I had issues. I’ll tell you one day if you wanna. It’s a real tear jerker story. With clowns and crowbars. And I’m telling you that because I’m drunk, right now. Also, if we want to be specific, I don’t actually make a living out of putting villains behind bars. Like, I don’t get paid or anything…” 

Jason finds himself ranting about anything that comes to his mind, and though he hears himself claim it’s because of the alcohol he’s saying all this, he realizes maybe there’s something else making him want to talk. 

You. A total stranger he walked upon. Or rather, went-through-the-window upon.  Who didn’t freak out when he went through said window. And instead, invited him over to have tequila shots. 

Because, according to your grandmother, the best remedy to…basically any problems in life, was “salt, tequila, lemon”. 

“She was a wise woman.” 

He says, and you turn to him, clearly not understanding what he was talking about. 

“Who ?” 

“Your grandma. For saying that salt, tequila and lemon was a great remedy against heartbreaks and all.” 

“Oh. Yeah. I wouldn’t know, I never met her. She died before I was born.” 

“Well what she passed on to your parents is great.” 

“What ?”

“Well, that “salt, tequila and lemon” thing, I assume she said that to your mom or dad, and then they said that to you, and then it became your grandma’s advice. Right ?” 

“…Nah. It’s an excuse I made up. Whenever I need to justify something, I just say “like my grandma said, ain’t no shame in eating an entire tub of ice cream if you want to”, and then people are just like “oh yeah, cool”, because when you say the word “grandma”, then it gives a perspective to your words ya know ?” 

Jason had no idea what you were on about, but he loved it. You seemed to be very smart. And witty. And funny. The hell did that guy cheated on you for ? And why was he ashamed of going out in public with you when you weren’t dressed up ?! 

You currently wore “Hello Kitty” pyjamas, had absolutely no make up on, and your hair was a mess, and he thought you looked gorgeous.

“Why are you so nice ?” 

Your question takes him by surprise, and for a few seconds he doesn’t register it and just says : “ugh ?” 

“To me. Why are you so nice to me ? Is it the alcohol ? Does it make you nice ? Or are you just nice to every stranger ? Every girl you destroy the windows of ? Or are you like my ex ? You seem nice, but then you go off and cheat on your girl simply because you like another girl and you’re too cowardly to break up with your current girl ?” 

Jason hiccups slightly, and says : 

“No, I’m not nice to any girl I met. I’m actually usually kind of a jerk, too “brutally honest”. But you…I don’t know. You give me good feelings. Oh and here’s to add on his flaws list. “Coward”. Can’t even break up with a girl, has to wait to get caught red-handed and break her heart. Cooooward. Bad flaw. Kind of guy who runs in the face of danger, instead of standing by you.” 

It’s probably the fact that he said “you give me good feelings” that spurs this in you. That gives you a new clearer perspective on things. 

“My heart wasn’t broken.”

It’s a shock, to you. This realization. This sudden feeling jumping in your face. You…are not heartbroken. You’re mad. You’re frustrated. You feel betrayed. You feel a crazy burning anger towards your ex for toying around with you like that. For not having the balls to just break up, after spending two years together. 

He was suppose to know you. To be your friend. Things could have turned out better. He could have just come up to you, say the truth, and…You were pretty sure you’d still be friend. Because he really was a great guy. 

He really was all the good thing you though about him. He made a mistake, an unforgivable one in your book. But he was a great guy. 

He was just…not your great guy. Not anymore at least. 

And you realized, there, quite drunk, that…It was ok.  

Your heart wasn’t broken.  

Your heart wasn’t broken. 

Your pride was. Your trust was. But your heart ? …Maybe you weren’t completely in love with him. You were best friends, yes, but love ? Maybe it wasn’t love…

Your heart wasn’t broken. 

“My heart isn’t broken.” 

You tell Red hood, looking at him right in his wonderful ocean blue eyes. And he looks right back at you, and just nods. Just like that. And then he pours you one last tequila shot. 

Because like your grandma would say : “When you make great discovery about yourself…Salt, tequila, lemon”. 

************

It took you only a few hours with him to realize that you weren’t in love with your ex, and that was kinda scary. Because this realization didn’t come from nowhere. 

Nope. 

But when he said that your ex broke your heart, you felt obligated to tell him that no. No your heart wasn’t broken. You were sad and angry, yes, but not heartbroken. For you, in that moment, it was important for this total stranger to know you weren’t actually in love. 

Hell, you didn’t even know yourself you weren’t that in love before you talked to him. It just came as a sudden, yet utterly true revelation. 

Because, and this wasn’t the alcohol speaking…You felt incredibly attracted to that guy. To Red Hood. Not just because of the white streak in his hair, and the eyes, and smile, and voice, and abs, and thick thighs. That too, sure, but not only…Nope. 

Nope. Not because of this. 

But because he had a tough day (he said so himself, explaining to you how he went through the window…he was fighting a super-villain when he got flung through your window, tough tough time ahem), and yet he sat with a crazy lady that peppered salt on his hand and practically forced him to take a tequila shot…

Because you could see in his eyes, and felt in your guts that he didn’t have an easy life…and yet he took a break from whatever he was doing to just sit with you and listen to you. He didn’t even make sense, that you trusted those feelings so fiercely. And yet, you did. Because he listened to you. 

He saw you were struggling and he stayed. And though you felt you couldn’t trust anyone at that time…You oddly felt like he was ok. 

Like he wouldn’t be the kind of guy to cheat, or run in the face of danger, leaving you all alone to fight off demons. 

In a few short hours, you fell for this guy more than you ever fell for your ex. 

What did that say about you uh ? …That was pretty pathetic…

************

Jason didn’t think that you were pathetic at all. 

On the contrary. If he went to seat with you, and drink with you, is because he was instantly mesmerized by you. 

And though he didn’t know at first why, now he was sure of it. 

It’s because you didn’t freak out. And something told him it wasn’t only because you were a bit drunk (he fell in drunk people’s home before…none reacted like you). 

Nope. It was because you were special. He just knew it. Special in every way. Funny. Beautiful. Genuinely listening to him when he was speaking. 

He peppered his own problems within your story, as you told him. And you listened. Hell, even referenced a few things he said early on, way later, while you were crazy drunk. You listened. 

You gave a total stranger that seemed to have a tough day some salt. And tequila. And lemons. 

And then you cared. You asked him a thousand times if he was ok, and he basically had to take off his armor to prove it so (to your eyes’ greatest pleasure…mm mm mm those muscles). 

Captivated. He was captivated by you. It was strange, and though he knew it was because you were special, he still was unclear as to why his feelings were that strong. 

For someone he just met. And barely knew. And only knew while drunk. 

You were just…Special. 

************

It was surreal. The all thing. 

What started as a night where you planned on wallowing your pain and drinking…ended up changing your life. 

And no one could convince you that it wasn’t Fate. Because what were the odds that Red Hood would fall through YOUR window after tripping (yeah you didn’t buy that “fighting super-villains thing” at all) ?

What were the odds of his timing being so perfect, arriving just before you started to cry ? Because there was no doubt in your mind that if he had come a few seconds later, he wouldn’t have stayed. 

He would have found a crying mess, and maybe he would have tried to confort you but…You wouldn’t have answered. In your “sad phase”, you only cry and whine. He would have eventually left. And the wonderful talk you’d just have, would never have happened. 

But instead. He came right before your lips touch that fatal shot of tequila that would have brought you into the “sad phase”. And took your drunkness down a notch. Rerouted your evening. 

You weren’t wallowing anymore, you were ranting. 

Sharing your anger and frustration. 

And he helped you realize that your ex wasn’t that perfect…That maybe it was just not meant to be…After all, he cheated on you. 

Uh. What a shame. You didn’t even know his name…”Red Hood”…

You wished you knew his name. 

************

The morning lights were rising, and the bottle of tequila was long gone. 

There were still salt and lemons though. For some reason, you decided to buy the entire grocery store’s stock of lemons. 

Red Hood stood up, and said he had to go. 

He was nice about it. Said it was a pleasure to have spend the night with you. You both laughed about the innuendos that ensued. 

You were exactly on the same page. And he understood all your joke referencing to pop culture… 

But it was time for him to go. And he apparently had no intention of telling you his real name. He didn’t hint either at ever coming back to see you again. 

And there was that. Just a nice night, spend talking to a genuine friend that you’ll never see again. 

A genuine friend that you didn’t even know a few hours before. 

Maybe it was the alcohol speaking. Maybe not. 

And even if you ended up never seeing him again, this evening truly changed your life…At least, it saved you from a heartbreak. Made you realize it wasn’t that.

Though, now, as he climbs out of the window again (he couldn’t possibly use the front door), you feel like the actual heartbreak is starting. 

Grandma’s remedy against heartbreak ? Right. 

Salt, tequila, lemon…

But the tequila is all gone. 

“I’ll send someone to fix that window…Sorry again about that. …Bye.” are his last words, and then he’s out. 

And the tequila is all gone. 

************

… 

…

…

…

Days pass by in a blur. 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

Ugh. But you don’t want to this time. You don’t want to get drunk to forget. 

You don’t want to forget him. And you know it’s ridiculous to get that worked up over a guy you met one night and that will never come back. That you didn’t even know the name of. 

This entire night was weird anyway. 

Getting drunk with a dangerous night vigilante. Pouring your heart out to him, and him doing the same. The hell were you even thinking ? 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

That would be a good idea to do this right now, because man…your heart hurt. More than when you discovered your ex sleeping with Nicole. From accounting. But you can’t resolve yourself to drink. To forget. Nope. Instead you…

*Knock knock knock*. 

Uh ? You take a quick look at your clock in the kitchen.10 pm. Who the hell is coming at 10 pm ?! It can only be bad news. Especially in Gotham…You peep into the eyehole and…

WHAT ?! 

You open your door quickly, and… 

“Told you I’d send someone to fix your window.” 

It’s him. It’s Red hood. But in…civilian clothes. 

His ass doesn’t look flat in jeans. 

He’s holding a window wrapped in cardboard, and there’s a toolbox at his feet. 

“Yeah, you did…come in.” 

************

Jason Todd. 

That’s his name. And connections are fast to be made in your brain. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne’s adopted son. That supposedly died…ten years ago. 

And is Red Hood now. Oh. It makes sense. Even his little “killing criminals” thing while Batman never killed. You easily put two and two together. 

Red Hood. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne. 

Wow. Can’t believe you never guessed that before. Of course Bruce Wayne is Batman. He’s got the motive, the means, the excuses…It’s so obvious. And yet, you never realized. And no one else in Gotham ever realized. 

Jason Todd. 

Now you know his name. 

And he’s fixing your window. Nobody ever fixed windows for you before (even those who broke it).

Um. To add to the “perfect man” list : “Handy”. 

Jason Todd.  

He quickly works the window up, and then he turns to you. While he was working you talked, as if you knew each other for years. Joking around. Like old friends. Like old extremely good and close friends. 

It fits. It clicks. It’s natural. You and him, him and you. 

Barely knowing each others, and yet knowing each others the best. 

Jason. Todd. 

He turns to you now, and with a smirk, he says : 

“Ya know, my grandma always say that when something good happens to you, you need to celebrate. And I feel like this, right now, you and I, though I have no idea what we’re doing and where it’s going…Well it’s still something to celebrate. And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you need…” 

You smile. 

Yeah. You don’t know where this thing between you two is going, but you do know that you never met someone who so fully understood you. 

And in such a short span of time. And you know you’re not mistaking. It’s a feeling too strong to be a mistake. 

He came back to fix your window for god’s sake. And trusted you enough to tell you his actual name. Without a second thought. Which meant everything. Especially since from all the hint he let slip through last time you saw each others, about his father, well…let’s just say telling people his real name wasn’t really something he was used to. 

But it just works. It fits. It clicks. It’s not like with your ex, because you don’t think you know it does. It just does. The fact that you say those next few words in perfect sync finishes to convince you : 

(“…And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you need…”) 

“Salt, tequila, and lemons.” 

______________________________________________

I’m so mad the Tumblr app crashed and I deleted the original post...Y’all were great and reblogged the hell out of it ! Which is why it got so many notes in such a short span of times. And feedbacks. I haven’t had that many feedbacks on a story in a long time. So just one last time and I won’t bother you with that again : Please, if you enjoyed this story, don’t hesitate to reblog it and share it with others. People who don’t follow me can’t really find my stories anymore so...you’re a big help by spreading them. It’s always very encouraging. 

And if you got the time, feedbacks are always hella appreciated and always make my day a little brighter <3. 

[geminimoonbeamx]

Oh, Baby: Chapter Two

A/N: So I was so excited about the reaction and feedback I got on the first chapter, I hope you guys enjoy this one too!

Word Count: 3.5k+

Warnings: None really- brief mentions of smut and of course cursing like a mf

Summary: After a drunken night, Y/N finds herself having to face the biggest decision of her life; is she ready for motherhood? And a better question, is Bucky Barnes, her long time friend and womanizer extraordinaire, ready for fatherhood? They’ll just have to go along for the ride and find out together. A Bucky Barnes x Plus Size Reader Story  

Chapter 2/6: And a Cherry On Top

Once you decide that you want this baby- that you’re keeping, things become alot clearer in your mind.

All those lists you made? The bullet pointed steps, numbered processes that you need to accomplish zero in, your brain finally able to sort them, at least a little bit. More then you’d been able to last night, or even this morning.

You’re keeping this baby, it’s cemented in your stubborn brain now and even though that brings a whole new round of terror, it becomes a front and center though. A focal point, so to say.

And when you’re focused- you’ve been told you can be a little ruthless.

“Look, Dr. Cho, I like you so far, I really do,  but I’m going to be blunt here: I’ve read some horror stories about plus size pregnancies, and how miserable it is to have a doctor who is fatphobic- so I just want to check base and make sure that you’re...okay with having me as a patient, and will treat me with the same respect that I plan to treat you with” 

She doesn't look shocked and you don't know whether that's just her training or if her face always has that sage quality to it, but you can't really read it.

“I really admire you bringing up your concerns, and I can assure you that they’re very presidented, but that’s not something you’re going to have to worry about with me if you choose to continue on with me as your practitioner for this pregnancy.

I’ve been an OB for the last fifteen years and have worked with lots of very different women: big and small and everything in between and that doesn't matter to me. What matters is that we find a plan that works for you and your little one and keeps you both healthy as we get you to term. Does that sound okay to you?”

You chuckle, delightedly shocked at her words. At how straight forward and sincere she had been. At the support you could feel from her and how relieving that felt to know that your doctor was going to be on your side, for you, with you.

Being overweight, you’d had prejudice thrown at you left and right thought your life, sadly also by medical professionals, and to know she wasn't going to do that to you?

“Yeah” You nod, with a grateful smile “That sounds more than okay”

The appointment goes smoothly for the next hour and a half or so after that. You’re happy you’d Googled like crazy and had come prepared with a small list of key medical facts: any allergies, past surgeries talks of mental health and medications. She gives you a pelvic exam/Pap  and its uncomfortable as they always are, even with her gentle, nimble fingers. Legs in stirrups, biting at the inside of your cheek.

The magic happens when she lays you down and slathers your tummy with a jelly like substance and your heart goes fluttery against your chest as she uses a little wand, probes and moves it gently against the jelly. Looking, searching…

Thump,

Thump,

Thump,

Found.

On the screen of the ultrasound machine that she’d pulled up. Dr. Cho had warned you that it was very early, and that there was a good chance that she wouldn't be able to find much of anything at this point and yet there it was.

A tiny little blur in the blob like painting of your insides that we’re up for display on the US machine. A heart beat, the sound it made would be imprinted in your mind forever.

“There’s your baby, it’s about the size of a cherry right now and I has no really defined shape, but as you can hear, it has a very strong heart beat”

Like in movies, you thought you’d cry, and yeah, maybe your close, but really it lights a fire in you. Sets your heart ablaze and makes you feel lightheaded.

There’s your baby, and it’s real. So real. With a little heart inside you, beating along with your own…

You leave the office with two copies of the ultrasound pictures, one for you to keep, and one to give to Bucky.

Now you only had to tell him.

Later that night, as you and Wanda lounge on your living room couch, you text him, clutching a furry pillow in your lap.

You need to get this done and over with, you have to tell him.

Hey, long time no talk. You think we could get together for lunch sometime this week?

----------

Bucky finds himself sitting at a corner table, it’s half past three and you’re still not there yet. You we’re supposed to be meeting him for a late lunch...ten minutes ago? Fuck, why were you always late?

It drove him crazy, was on that long list of things about you that made his eyes cross with annoyance. On that list was also the fact that he could never guess what you we’re going to do- which yeah, that one still stood, too.

When you’d texted him, asking him to meet you for lunch last Friday, Bucky had gaped at his phone for a few minutes. Hadn't you spent the last couple months avoiding him like the plague? He couldn't help himself, though, and had only given you a tiny bit of shit before agreeing to meet you that next Wednesday at you guys’ favorite spot.

And so here he sat, at HandCraft, waiting for you. Trying not too feel excited, hopeful. That usual feeling that settled in his gut whenever you we’re around(even with just the promise of your presence) had been thrown into effect.

He orders himself a Corona, extra lime, but considers something stronger to quell the weird nerves, and orders you a Long Island Peach Tea. 

He knew your obsession with everything peach, so when he saw it he couldn't help but order it for you.

He’s a couple drinks into his beer when you walk in. Bucky could zero in on you in a crowd of hundreds, a skill he’d developed pretty quick after meeting you. His weird 20/20 Y/N radar doesn't fail him and his eyes snap to you as you walk in, and he waves you over. You boop through the crowd, and Bucky knows he has a stupid little smile on his face as he watches.

You’re cute, always. It’s infuriating, and intoxicating and damn, will he ever get over this shit? It’s been eight years for fucks sake.  

It’d been rainy and humid in the city this May, and the beige long sleeved, off the shoulder top and high waisted ripped jeans you wear are breezy enough. You always dressed nice, most always put together and he’d always taken the time to appreciate your style, the way you hed yourself and adorned your curvy body.

The big bun that sits atop your head is messy and has started to frizz from the time you’d spent in the sprinkling rain, your loose baby hairs wispy and starting to curl as you sit down in the chair on the opposite him.

“Hi” You greet, shifting in the chair. You’re awkward around him now, and it sucks. It really does.

He thinks about that night in early March, and he cant bring himself to regret it, and he tries to ignore the twinge from how apparently you seem to.

“Hey there- I ordered some drinks so I didn’t die or dehydration while I was waiting for you”

You can’t help but giggle- you and Bucky’s dry humors had always lined up. It was a part of the reason why the two of you had always got on so well, the two of you were always throwing off hand, rude to anyone else, jokes at each other.

“It’s three, you’re going to need to check that alcoholism or yours someday” you rebuff and he shrugs, taking another swig if his beer with a cheeky smile-

“It’s five o’clock somewhere...and it’s actually 3:30, which makes you- he checks his watch playfully, asshole, fifteen minutes late”

“I had a meeting with my boss. Give me a fucking break” You snipe back, and yeah maybe you sound a little sharp.

Shit. No, that’s not how you wanted the atmosphere of this conversation to go. But this week had been...a lot.

You’d told your little sister MJ about the big B news and she had advised you to talk to your boss about bumping up your healthcare, about maternity leave and all that other jazz as early as possible- and that had lead to you having to sit for over an hour with the one-eyed owner of the radio station.

Nick Fury was cool enough, really he is, but still. Explaining an unexpected pregnancy to him was...really awkward. Especially when he had asked about the father and you had to pretty much shrug and say “Bitch, I don’t know. I guess I’ll find out later today”

But you definitely didn’t call your boss a bitch.

“A meeting? Is everything okay?” Bucky actually sounds concerned and you purse your lips and spin the straw in the dark drink you hadn’t touched yet because you were preeeeetty sure it had liquor in it and that was a no go for you now.

“Um, yeah...it is now. I just had some serious stuff to talk to him about”

“Serious? That doesn’t sound great” Bucky didn’t mean to pry, but he knows how much you loved your job. How hard you’d worked for it.

He’s always rooted for you, knowing that like many things, the radio waves were dominated by male hosts. He listened to your podcasts, and your new show, religiously.

Every Wednesday night at 7- he diligently listens to your melodic voice, actually for the last couple months it’s the only way he could feel close to you.

Sucker. He knows.

“Um, yeah. Kinda serious? More just things I needed to get sorted out with Fury. A little planning for my future, ya know?” Our future, the life inside me, you don’t say. Yet.

“Okay, well as long as everything’s still going smoothly there, that’s good, right?”

“Yeah, right. Everything’s going smoothly…” fuck.

“Just say it and get it over with. Like pulling off a band-aid” Wanda had pep talked you about this- but god, how could anybody know it was going to be this hard.

Your heartbeat had gone hummingbird and your stomach was in knots as the minutes ticked on. You order an ice water and watermelon salad and Bucky frowns.

Because that’s not your usual...you always get the Nacho Tots. He offers them as an appetizer for the two of you to share and you shake your head with a forced smile, complaining of a stomach ache.

You don’t touch the peach tea, he points that it too and you shake your head telling him you weren’t in the mood to drink which, what? You were always down to day drink. Always.  

Half way through his chimichurri steak, Bucky can’t take the weird tension anymore. You’re trying...to hard. And yet he can clearly see that you’re more uncomfortable, more uneasy then he’s ever seen you.

He can only bite his tongue for so long. Months of tension were bound to come to a head eventually.

He couldn’t bare talking about the weather and other trivial bullshit subjects anymore.

“Y/N...if you didn’t want to hang out, why did you make plans with me?” Bucky questions, bluntly. Takes you off guard a bit.

“What?” Is your bright reply and he just frowns and leans back in his chair. His body language is all wrong- and it makes you even more anxious then you already were.

“I just- fuck. Fuck, it’s been so weird between us since March and I thought having lunch today was supposed to be us remedying said weirdness but it just feels worse” Bucky’s tone is slightly frustrated and dejected

You can feel your face drop. None of this was going how you’d planned- and you’d imagined this going 1,000 different ways in the last few days.

“I just want everything to go back to the way it was” Bucky speaks, interrupting your silence and it feels like there’s fucking needles in your stomach.

“It can’t go back” You utter, fidget in place, staring at the busy street outside the window for a moment. Not able to meet his eyes yet.

“Really? Cause I kinda think that’s bullshit. So we slept together? It was consensual and we’re adults, I don’t get why it has to be a friendship ending thing-“ Bucky’s feelings are hurt, and it’s apparent in his tone. Confused, slightly pleading.

Band-aid, Wanda’s words ring in your head as you muster up your courage and look back at Bucky.

Jesus, you could drown in his foggy eyes. Could be melted down to nothing by the molten silver of his gaze.

“I have something to tell you, it’s why I asked you to lunch today. I wanted to talk to you face to face because...this is pretty fucking huge and I- I” you stutter and stumble over your words and Bucky knows it’s something major because words are usually your weapon. You vernacular your sword and armor.

He doesn’t know why he knows, or why it clicked together in his head- call it some kind of weird intuition. Maybe from the fact that he grew up with all sisters and that he remembers his older sister Charlie and her face when she’d told his parents, at the age of sixteen, that she was-

And Oh, ohhhh, you hadn’t drank. Or touched your food-

“You’re pregnant” it doesn’t feel real to him as he says it, as his lips gram the words he can’t really feel himself speak them.

You gasp softly- your big eyes locked with his for a moment where everything goes still around the two of you, and then you nod.

It’s like he had peered straight into your soul anyway. Like he already knew.

“Yeah, I am. Nine weeks- well almost ten now, I guess”

“Oh...oh fuck” Bucky breathes out, a long exhale because he’d been holding his breath and oh shit- he hasn’t had a panic attack in years but this sure feels like what the start one.

“Bucky?”

“It’s mine?” He knows it’s an asshole question, but he grits it out anyway because he has to be sure of what he already knows.

“Yeah, it is. I haven’t been with anyone since we were together” It’s the truth, and he knows because you have a big fat unfiltered mouth that you hadn’t been with anyone for months before him.

“Five months?” You remember him breathing into your neck “Fuck, doll, how? No way”

“Mmhmm” you’d hummed as he’d kissed down your chest “I’m not a whore like you- I can go a few months without sex with out my genitals shriveling up and my brain short circuiting”

He’d laughed around a mouthful of breast.

And now you were pregnant. With his baby.

He gapes like a fucking fish as he tries to digest it all.

“I’m going to keep it, Bucky. And that doesn’t mean I expect you, or am going to force you to be in they’re life but I just...I don’t know I thought i should tell you? And not because I felt obligated to or anything...I mean kind of, but because you’re a good person and I wanted you to know” You’re rambling, yeah, but you’re saying your peace.

“You’re ten weeks?” Bucky questions, breaking you out of your ramblings and you nod, a little confused.

“Yeah, it’s the size of a Cherry right now...trippy, right?”

Bucky barks out a laugh, still in that headspace where he though he might wake up at any given moment.

“A cherry. Oh my god. Holy fuck- you’re pregnant” Bucky exasperates and then puts his hands on his face, trying to calm down. Trying to get a grip on himself.

He knows you. Knows that you’re not lying about it being his, why would you? And there’s a baby inside you, right this moment. One that he’d put there- that the two of you had created together.

“Yup. Super fucking pregnant- a doctor confirmed it and everything” You try to lighten the mood a little, just like you always do.

“Really?”

“Yeah...here, look” you dog through your handbag for a moment and then pull out a laminated picture and reach across the table to hand it to him.

When Bucky takes his first look at it, his heart squeezes and his breath gets stuck in his throat again.

It’s the ultrasound picture. Black and white, unidentifiable shapes- but his eyes zero in on the little blob in the darkness. The baby.

His baby.

His heart clenches again.

“There it is” you point out what he’s looking out with a manicured finger “that’s the baby. I know it all looks like an obscure Picasso painting or something but that’s it” you kind of hate calling your baby an it, but you don’t know what else to call...them, yet.

“A cherry” Bucky whispers, asks.

“Yeah, like-“ you make that annoying, internet famous, 6 shape, with your hand and put it up to your eye to look through it “this big”

Bucky chuckles. You’re so dumb. And so special, for being able to make such a tense situation feel...lighter.

“I’m going to want to be in this baby’s life, you know that, right?” Yeah, he doesn’t know how he feels about all of this yet. He still thinks this might be some kind of fever dream- that maybe he died from that flu he had last week, but he’d been raised right by his mom and pop.

Was he a bit slutty? Yeah, he guesses he’d own that(argue that he only acted on how he was pursued)

Could he be a little bit of an arrogant prick? You, and plenty of other people had told him that plenty in his life and yeah, he’d own that one too.

But he’d never, could never, leave you alone to raise this child. Not with how he felt about you- and shit, even if he wasn’t harboring these feelings could he ever just leave a woman who he’d gotten pregnant completely alone.

“Don’t make promises in the heat of the moment, I’m not expecting-“

“Me to want to be a father to my child” he doesn’t snap, per say, but he knows you can hear how offended he is. It makes you bite the inside of your lip.

“I don’t know. I just don’t...want you to feel like you have to say things you don’t mean because I’m sitting in front of you right now. Like? You might feel different later, you know?”

Bucky instantly feels bad for snapping at you. You’d been sitting on this, thinking you might have to do this alone…

Bucky looks back at the ultrasound picture and his stomach rolls at the idea of you doing this alone. Of him missing this first milestone of your pregnancy. Of his child’s life.

His child.

He’d woken up this morning, single, uncomplicated and now...he knew there was a baby that was half him inside of you.

He should have had that stronger drink.

“I’m going to be there for this baby, and for you. I don’t know what that looks like yet and I can’t promise I’ll be great at it, but I’m going to be here” his voice gets soft and passionate and fuck, the way he’s looking at you, vowing this to you…

It’s almost more than you can handle.

“Okay...I’m game” you say, and he snorts and nods.

He doesn’t know what’s going to happen, if he’ll be a good dad or not. There’s so many unknowns swirling around his head, clogging his brain-

But he knows he’s not going anywhere.

“We’re going to have a baby” He says it, and this time it feels a little more real as it comes out of his mouth. “Holy fuck I’m going to be a dad”

“Um, congratulations” The waiter chooses that time to come back to the table, and the kid who can’t be more then eighteen looks a little awkward at intruding “Do you want a celebratory piece of cake?”

“You know what? Yeah we do- and please, make sure there’s a cherry on top”

He grins too big when he asks for a cherry and you know he’s needs it as a visual comparison to the size of the baby inside you. Bucky is so obnoxious.

He’s also beautiful- in the restaurants low light. All teeth and bright blue eyes- his brows still pulled together and his expression a little overwhelmed, but not mad. Not disgusted or cold like you’d feared.

You can almost here both Wanda and MJ’s “told you so’s” now.

You can’t help but share in his contagious smile- the nerves that had players you aren’t completely gone, not by a long shot.

But...you and Bucky Barnes were going to have a baby.

You could only hope that the two of you didn’t fuck it up too bad. 

@peacefulwriter88 @jaamesbbarnes @jalapenobarnes @gifsbysimplysonia @brieannakeogh @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @lostinspace33 @4theluvofall @tatathekissypotato @siren-kitten-his @skishenanigans @geekyweed @spidey-babe-parker @lastfallenstar @rachelle-on-the-run @prettybubblesintheair @dani-si @hufflepuff-always-forever @morganhoran1671 @imdiegohargreeves @nikolett3 @miss-mcbotty @nerdgirljen @readingsubtitles @sgtbookybarnes @prussiangilbert @tiredofsatansbullshit @bitchwhytho @mishameadows @heartbeats-wildly @10kindsofderp @xodearling @notyourtypcalrose @rachelle-on-the-run

The taglist for this story is still OPEN. If you would like to be tagged, please be aware that I will be expecting feedback, and will not take the time to tag you again if you don’t give any- I will update with the next chapter once this chapter reaches 100 notes.

Okayyy, so here’s part two. It might be a little cheesy, but I really want this story to be more fluff then angst, okay?! Which let me say is not easy for me because lately I’ve been one angsty bitch.

So I decided that I wanted to play with more MCU characters then I normally do, do something different- and that’s how I came up with the idea that the readers little sister is MJ(Michelle Jones) from Spider-Man. I love Zendaya- and since I’m usually writing a mixed race reader- she fits as a sibling.

Just for heads up, a little spoiler for the next chapters, I will also be having the Van Dynes be in her family tree. Hope is her cousin.

I’m really just trying to have fun writing for Marvel again. Hope you guys are having fun reading this.

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : All for Family

Also on AO3! 

TL;DR:  Shouta and Izuku grow up the sons of the Japan's most powerful villain. They escape their fathers clutches and believe they are safe after they get wind of the massive battle between All Might and their father. They get a rude awakening the third day of Izuku's first year at UA.

aizawa and izuku are half brothers and are raised alongside tomura, afo is their biological father and they are both aware of this

afo never stopped them from doing anything? but he tried to poison them against heroes, it only worked on tomura.

Afo begrudgingly let aizawa remain in the hero course after the sports festival

when he graduated, his first mission is one he didnt warn anyone about. he went alone, thinking it was a suicide mission. he stole his youngest brother back from his father.

he asked if tomura wanted to come but he declined. afo didnt put up a fight.

they grow up knowing quirks arent all they are talked up to be, and that you can lose them with a moments warning

they knew about one for all the whole time, the day izuku gets it from all might they both cry because he can be a hero, but also because their father wants that quirk back more than he ever loved them

they though all might killed afo, but then the USJ and they both panic

toumra doesnt recognise izuku or aizawa bc they have masks in this au but the nomu cracks aizawa’s and tomura freezes

He tells kurogiri that the mission has changed, and that they are going to retrieve his big brother and izuku screams

izuku runs in to take his brother because he saved izuku and tomura k n o w s izuku is his missing little brother

izuku gets aizawa to safety but kurogiri portals izuku back and, as all might bursts through the door they take him

aizawa, concussed and bleeding, grabs allmights costume in his fist and tells him "he took my brother"

anyway, all might has to talk to aizawa and aizawa tells him about that he knows the story of all for one and one for all because all for one was his father

and he tells all might the all for one was kind to them, but controlling, absent and demanding all in one, he tells all might that their father may have loved them, but he wants that quirk more than he wants anything

and all might realizes how little he knows about izuku because he didnt know izuku lived with aizawa, he didnt know they were brothers. above all, he didnt know all for one was his father

aizawa, in his hospital bed, threaten to destroy all might if he hurts izuku for this and all might would never dream of it. he hates all for one and has only seen the man 4 times, what would it be like living with him?

also: aizawa, izuku and tomura all "know" all for one is their dad (tomura isnt afo's son but they dont know that)

aizawa knows his mother is alive, but nothing more. she could have been a surrogate or a villain for all he knows

izuku knows his mother is dead and he knows it was all for one that killed her

afo asks,,, "nicely" if izuku will give him his brothers quirk. izuku says no but the boy has trauma, hes really scared

afo sighs and says "at least its back in the family" and locks izuku in his old room

aizawa trying to sneak out to save izuku enough though hes covered in banages bc he want to save his little brother, and if hes lucky afo might not kill him

afo is kinda,,, worried? bc izuku wont eat or drink anything he gives him. izuku quietly says hed rather die than give ofa to him

so after like a week afo gives up because he doesnt want his son and his brothers quirk dying

izuku in this au seems to be quirkless but no one is 100% sure about that

he could be hiding one, have an invisible one or just be quirkless like everyone thinks

afo doesn’t mind hes quirkless. hes a terrible person but he finds family important, to the point that he just had kids to have them, no other motives

hes a little deranged but he looks after his family for no reason other than that they are "his"

AFO never taken aizawas quirk, his reason is " a gift freely given may not be freely taken"

secretly, his quirk doesnt work on direct relatives, he can give quirks to them but he cant take them back and hes bad at lying

training camp in the brother au

aizawa and izuku: kidnapped, bakugo: also kidnapped, allmight: feeling guilty

basically afo intends to make this the last fight between him and all might and he intends to win and he wants his sons to watch

basically izuku deals with muscular, a little easier bc he has black whip already. he basically yeets the guy into a mountain, its all chill

he finds aizawa and aizawa just cant leave his little brother so they take kouta to the others and then go out to find Katsuki

aizawa deals w tokoyami, compress grabs aizawa, compress also grabs Bakugo

they basically use bakugo and aizawa to lure izuku to the portal where they grab him too. iida, todoroki and ochako just miss saving him

izuku calls allmight when they get to the bar n hes crying and trying to stop them from getting him before all might picks up

allmight basically picks up to hear "dad has aizawa and kacch-" and he hears a scream and the line goes dead

dabi torched his phone, and by extension his arm, to get him to hang up. shigiraki makes very clear after that that hes the only person allowed to hurt his little brother

bakugo is lost, aizawa is furious

izuku is sobbing but aizawa has a feeling about that but hes not saying anything yet

afo turns on the screen and talks to them, izuku calls him "dad". izuku hasnt called him anything other than father since he was 4

tomura has his little speech about joining him, izuku is still crying and accepts a hug from him. bakugo is snarling because is deku the traitor??

izuku looks bakugo dead in the eye. hard of hearing bakugo and aizawa (dating a guy that sent his parents deaf).

and behind shigiraki's back signs "i" and "lie"

afo asks izuku for ofa, izuku tells him no but its shaky, and he wont look anyone in the eye

aizawa is begging izuku not to do it, bakugo is snarling. both of them look more afraid than angry

when allmight shows up, he frees bakugo, izuku and aizawa. but izuku and aizawa are taken away by afo, leaving bakugo behind with a shocked all might

all might rushes over to afo, bakugo panic calls kiri. kiri picks up and thats when afo appears and kiri, todoroki, ochako and momo are crying behind the wall as bakugo is stuck on the other end of the city, unable to help

afo takes out the heroes, all might appears and his quirk fails. aizawa is trying to rush in, activating his quirk while izuku tries to hold him back

all might tries to appeal to afo to leave uninvolved people out of this and he just looks at him.

"how are these two uninvolved? i want my sons to see the death of the man who tarnished their uncle’s legacy"

izuku is still holding aizawa back, allmight holds out his hand for him but izuku doesnt take it. he hides behind afo and afo looks overwhelmingly smug

izuku, making sure afo can hear, asks aizawa to stay way because he doesnt want his brother getting hurt

aizawa, wanting nothing more than to stay, backs off to the side where he can see his students, pretending to retreat

all might begs izuku to run, he stays behind afo, afo tells him to watch as he goes in to attack all might

suddenly afos quirk stops working, izuku pounces, shattering afo's breathing mask and getting him into a headlock

afos is clawing at izuku, allmight is lost

aizawa is yelling at allmight to hurry up and do something because he cant hold erasure much longer

the kids are scared but they are ready to join in the fight.

All might deals the final blow. he never transforms, the world doesn’t learn he had a smaller form.

they are safe

[strawberryspeachy]

So when i watched death note in high school it made me curious about real japanese police work. I read about it alot and came to the conclusion that their justice system isnt too great.

Im currently upset that a coworker who i took as a friend - not only disliked me all along - but went as far as to lie about me to get me in trouble. That no one cared to hear my side. That i was fired on the spot. That people turned their back on me immediately. That no one cares.

Well. 17 year old me would have said. But of course. In Japan your guilty until proven innocent. That japanese put on a show but dont truely like most people. That they band together and will go out of their way to avoid any kind of conflict. That they care more about a pretty appearance than solving anything. 17 year old me that only heard and read about Japan knew these things. 17 year old me imagined this cool different country that works because theyre proud of this... performance way that they live. And i was amused by it. All i knew was america and european history. I was so hungry for something different. I was so interested in different people.

Then I went to Japan. I got here and it was too similar to manga. How silly, i thought, those a comics - i didnt actually expect the country to be like those comics. And ive never really been able to place what that made me feel but id grown past this bemusement of different “alien like” people. Theyre just people who live in another country i thought. I dont like america and our norms. I know nothing but america but i dont agree with any of our steriotypes. You cant describe me the way most would try to describe a typical american. So why would people from any other country be different. Im sure theres people like the sterotype - but certainly more not at all like that.

And i got here and i watched the smiles on service workers slowly fade when they thought no one was watching. I watched children put trash where it didnt belong thinking no one was watching. I was girls laugh loudly and run around and yell at their boyfriends. I watched drunk college kids hollar and reak havoc in the city. Not robot people, not obedient children, not, quiet and demure girls listening to the men, not studious students worried about their reputation. Just people. The same people i saw back home.

And so i thought. Its the same. Different history. Varrying values. Same old people - judgmental and watching everyone ready to scold them if they deem it necessary.

But that guilty until prooven innocent thing. The fact that the old way of caring about your reputation is still a solid work practice.

These things. Make me feel like... i guess.... to my dissapointment. Maybe america really is more free...

I dont want that to be true. The us is so full of itself. Just like healthcare. I want universal health care to be a good thing and at very least in japan its not really. Its better. Its more affordable. Maybe their problem is just how much they hate drugs and thats what stops real care.

But. Ive always been a cautious person - i just dont want to get in trouble. But ive never thought id be in a situation i couldnt talk my way out of - because i dont do anything super bad. Maybe sometimes ive pressed the limits - but never outside of... like i drank underage. I tried to get into bars i wasnt old enough for. Ive dodged paying for the train fare. Dumb things. Things that the worse that would happen is i gotta pay it somehow or id get scolded. Drinking under age is against us law but its almost never taken too seriously.

But its occurred to me. Yeah. In japan it is guilty until prooven innocent. I really could have gotten in legal trouble for baseless allegations.

And japan is as racist and people say. Theyre friendly and try to talk to you in english and say nice things. And it doesnt seem like racism to a person from the states. Out racist look at you with digust. They wont touch you. They wont talk to you. They dont want to know about you

But here... it takes the form of a racist parent who grew up in the 50s and knows that theyre not supposed to be racist but still is.

Theyre welcoming and friendly to your face but talk shit behind your back. They ask a bunch of questions like (in america “where are you really from”) they refuse to accept you might actually belong. They constantly want to assert how different you are so instesd of telling you that your different - they ask questions or explain what theyre doing. And if you say ‘yes we also do this’ they react with disbeleif - what? No! You couldnt possibly get this - this is our thing and you are not us! And they constantly ask if you miss your home. Assume that you’re uncomfortable because they are. Also also. Instred of not wanting to touch you here - theyre much more willing to push you out of the way

Theres many mixed race kids here now though. I assume theyll have to do the same thing that happened in America. I havent met any mixed race adults but ive met plenty of white dads.... all trying super hard to assimilate to the point that they walk around talking like robots. Swearing that everything japan is great and they dont miss their home cointries at all. Pretty similar to the immigrants of america from when my mom was a kid.

So i still think at least for japan. Theyre way more similar to the west than they think they are. But these restricting regulations that they live by... really does make the country seem not as free as id ignorantly beleived it was.

It surprised me because their rules are so much like the way my great grandmother talked about stuff. And while were supposed to care... we just dont in the states. Respect your employer? Sure we say we do to their face but talk shit with coworkers. Worry about your reputation? Eh think im a bitch i dont give a fuck whatcha gonna do about it? Nothing thats right. Dont like another person? No one cares. Like that person or dont - it doesnt change anyone elses relationship with them. Make a mistake? Well if your boss fires you - everyone already probably thinks their an asshole cause generally mistakes are just met with some form of dickwaving belittlement. Pretty sure most of us get mad everytime we hear a story about someone getting fired because they posted a picture of them in a bikiki or having fun - most of this generation agrees thats dumb and has to change.

I feel more like an american now than ever. Americans are reluctant to change im told. Yes. I suppose we are. We might not know the rest of the worlds history but we kinda know our own. And as much as ive alwags agreed with the sentiment that cultures are different and thats just the way they want to be.... we used to be these ways but decided it was restrictive and controlling and mentally abusive and fought it...

Ive been reading more about the work culture in japan to figure out how he fuck this went so wrong. Apparently when young japanese people enter the work force, they cant even have friends as distractions outside of work because their boss will move them away from home.

Ive already read that japanese think suffering is good and seniority and witness first hand their preoccupation of appearing busy over actually being productive. Its just this constant performance.

Perhaps i did stress him out to the point of physical pain. I remember having a massive meltdown where i shook and it felt like my brain was melting after i tried so hard to be a good nice person. I did whag people apparently like. I changed myself to just agree with people and be positive and assume the best in everyone. Then my “friend” told me that i was a bad friend because i asked them if they would people drive their friends home so i could to sleep at 4am. And the two things just didnt click. I didnt go to sleep that night. I sat at my desk shaking for the next 5 hours and having flashbacks.

Im talkative. I talk as much as i do here in real life. And i have alot of questions. I talked to him a lot. Made him look not busy. I know he liked talking to me. I know he did. Thats why i got confortable talking more. He was always surprised when i asked him questions about himself but once he started answering he kept talking. Yeah. Its nice to have someone ask you what your thoughts are on topics. What your experiences have been. Did you like those things or not. I know japan it a group think culture - i guess they get there by really draining out ANY idea of individualality. He told me hed never been asked what he likes about himself. In the us were asked that constantly from elementary school “what do you like about yourself. What do you like about your friend. What makes you different?”

It kinda baffles me... questions and thoughts like these are so common in anime.... and obviously anime is popular in japan. Obviously obviously. Im confused how theyre watching these programs often with such deep meanings.... and not taking anything away from them. In the states our tv programs are always being restricted and stuff because they might give us “bad ideas” but they aren’t restricted here and yet... it seems no one takes anything from them

When i visited japan in 2013 i saw a teenage girl in huge heels lose her balance and stomp on a middle aged womans foot. That woman had already been standing like her feet were in pain and she made a face of being in so much pain. The girl rudely didn’t apologize and the older woman said nothing. She smiled through her pain...

And i also complained to my coworker. Not full on complaining. The small ones you make at work when youre not sure of the extent you can go to. At first he held off like the other teachers. But. Then. He started complaining back. It got to me not needing to be the one say an annoyance first. Like i asked how his meeting was. Other people i worked with might leave it ah it was a bit slow but necessary. And he started that way. But instead he started responding to me a succession of statements the slowly crept more toward his real feelings. ‘It was good... we didnt do much... or anything, i just sat and listened and took notes. we dont learn anything, it takes up a lot of time but we have to go. I dont like those meetings. I dont know their pupose... but were told to go so we must’

Whatever. Im just gonna keep rambling and complaining about this cause it sucks and is awful. Contracted woth my company i wasnt allowed to publically critisize japan. I imagine thats why you dont often find many things on the internet complaining. You will literally be unemployable if your name is attached to critisisms of this country.

Where as everyone can come to the states and tell us to our faces how much we suck and how much cooler their countries are. And generally the younger general is just kinda like - ‘you right’ people write articles all the time shit talking the states and we just go ‘ya we deserve that’ we do. Im not saying dont do that... but like... maybe just maybe. Were doing the good thing where were like

Haha call us fat! We are fat. We love us some mcdonalds. Hm.... why though. Actually we need to fix that. Why are people eating so unhealthy? What is the underlying cause of this problem? Lets try to work on that - and then we fight amoungst ourselves.

I like that... i like thay thing we do

In the states you might not want to become a ‘whistleblower’ and in some industrys you might get black listed for something dumb. But at least we talk about it and agree its a problem. In japan no one wants to even admit they have problems.

Know what else i told him. I talked about how were overworked in the states. That our work culture has gotten too similar to japans and we hate it. No one working 80 hour weeks thinks that they should have to do that. Of course i didnt go about it that way. I told him that my friends back home work 80 hour weeks and its unhealthy. That i cant work that much and refuse to. He i imagine counted how many hours he works and laughed and i said - oh haha yea i guess you also work that much. And he looked so much like he wanted to cry about it in the same way my friends back home. But said its natural in japan and that hes gotten used to it. But he definitely didnt mean it as he said it. I told him my friends say that as well. That i think theyre workaholics and i personally cant do it. That when work calls them they always pick up the phone even when they dont want to. But i dont do that. When my job called me as a server id ignore it and call them back later when it was too late for me to be asked to come in and ask them what they wanted.

Maybe to him my stories felt like when i read about students in europe being allowed to not go to school without reprucussions. It made HAVING to go to school evem more annoying. Why cant we choose to take breaks? I heard that place doesnt have homework - meanwhile im given at least 6 hours work a night! Not everyone has to do this? Other places learn things for fun?? They dont have to keep up with standardized exams that dont account for different teachers and school districts?? A 50% in that country isnt a failing grade???

Those were already shitty things but to read about them not bein universal did make having to endure it more upsetting.

Doesnt change that im stoll upset with him for not saying anything to me. Doesnt change that im mad that he made stuff up.

Really me rambling on about this doesnt change my presepective on any of it. Im just bitching

[yourjughead]

Krakens

Sweet Pea x Reader

A/N: I'm heading into exams so I'm not sure how many fics will be posted over the next week if any. I'll do my best my loves.

-------------------------------------------------

You lay tangled with Sweet Pea in his trailer, Friday night buzzing around outside. The both of you cocooned away from it all. Your phone alarm buzzed, Sweet Pea sighing loudly.

“I gotta go, family will be wondering where I am”

“And when are you going to tell them where you actually are”

“Hmmm when you clean this trailer” you winked, grabbing your coat from the disgruntled kitchen, Sweet Pea following you closely, rolling his eyes.

“I want to meet your family ynn, it's only right. We've been going out almost a year. I feel like you're ashamed of me or something” he looked to the ground and you took his face in your hands. He held them there, loving the feel of your delicate touch.

“Of course I'm not! You've met my friends and they're miles more important to me than my family”

“Still though…”

“They're just really classist and terrible people. I know my parents would have loved you of that's any consolation”. Your parents had died when you were 13 then you were shipped off from your home, to Riverdale, to live with your aunt and uncle. Imagine Cheryl Blossoms parents but miles worse and miles wealthier. They could buy the Blossoms 10 times over. While your own parents were wealthy, they didn't half flaunt it as much and wanted to raise you as a hard working, fair woman not a social snob with and ego to match like your cousin of the same age.

“I still want to meet them”

“And have them forbid me from seeing you?! After all Northsiders aren't supposed to really be friends with Southsiders” You pulled from him suddenly

“Well that would be kinda hot not going to lie” he caught your hips and buried his face in your neck as you giggled. You pulled his head to meet your lips briefly before flying for the door before he could stop you again.

“Bye Sweets, love you"

“Yeah yeah whatever” he turned to face away from you. This conversation always ended the same, with you avoiding a straight answer.

Sweet Pea POV

To say I was nervous was putting it lightly. I was shaking in my boots. Jughead and Toni helped me find a suit. I had to bribe them both into keeping what I was doing quiet. Especially from Fangs, if he knew I was dressed in a suit for yn hed call me whipped and never let it go.

I arrived at the address and wow it was fancy, too fancy for me. Ynn was right, this was a bad idea.

“Sweets!” I heard her beautiful voice as I was about to turn around and bolt out the door. Wow. She looked amazing.

“What do you think?” She gave a little twirl in her almost ball gown. I couldn't actually speak, my mouth was dry.

“I'll take that as a good sign” she laughed, taking my hand in hers she pulled me deeper into this world she didn't seem to fit into. Or at least the ynn I know didn't fit in. It was prissy and snobby and perfect in a way that was unsettling and false. Not like my ynn at all and yet she seemed to be like a chameleon in this world. I'm really going to try for her. As I thought this I ran smack bang into a waiter sending his tray to the floor. I was instant apologies and attempted to assist him, to which he looked at me like I had three heads.

“I know it's awful but we just have to walk away” she whispered, dragging me off. It was awful. Even I thought it was a terrible thing to do and I've done some shocking things.

She pulled me to the side of the room out of sight briefly, pulling me into a kiss.

“ready sweets?”

“As much as one can be”

“Where's your tattoo?” I looked to the floor.

“I covered it, Toni did it, I thought it might be better”

“I hate it”

“Me too” I laughed, meeting her eyes again. I'm glad she agrees.

“I don't like your hair all combed like that either”

“Wow you're working wonders for my confidence and I was going to say you're the most beautiful girl i've ever seen but I'll just have to say something mean instead…you're only the second most beautiful girl I've ever seen...that doesn't even sound slightly believable” I smirked and she blushed.

“No I just mean I like the way you're normally dressed”

“I like when you're not dressed at all” she shoved me laughing.

“I'd nearly prefer that then this stupid dress”

“I think you look gorgeous” smile to match.

“I think you look uncomfortable”

“Yn, I promise everything will be fine”

Then I met the krakens that were her aunt and uncle. Terrible people as promised. Snooty, snobbish socialites who made their money off YNs parents and wouldn't know hard work if it hit them. I wanted to hit them.

“And what do your parents do?” even though I was I was much taller than her aunt, she still managed to look down her nose at me. Yn squeezed my hand, so far I had fended off every rude question and snide remark, I wasn't doing terribly. I had told them SP stood for Steven Paul, thought my actual name would raise less questions but I could tell it made ynn sad I had to lie. Yn tried not to laugh at my ridiculous alias.

“Pharmacists” that's not a total lie. Ynn had to look away from me to stop herself from laughing. I didn't have a great relationship with my parents, if one at all but it wasn't a sore topic for me, I was simply used to them being crappy.

“Oh what part of pharmacy?” Her uncle finally pried his eyes off the young waitress serving us to listen to me.

“Emm, Mom's in production and dad...dad works in dispensing” I bit the inside of my cheek to stop a laugh from rising. Yn couldn't and let a small one slip.

“What's so funny YN YLN?” Her aunt bit. I didn't like the way they used her Dad's last name like a curse. I can tell she felt the same. My turn to squeeze her hand under the table for reassurance.

“Nothing” she looked back to her plate of untouched food. She seemed immensely uncomfortable around them, I felt more at home than she did and that says a lot.

“Yn, sit up straight for Christ sake, SP wouldn't want to be seen with someone the posture of a troglodyte!” Her uncle alongside me snapped.  Yn adjusted.

The same waitress her uncle had been fawning over moved to serve water. Her Uncle slipped his hand around her leg causing her to jump and dump the jug of water all over me and the table.

“Argh!” I stood to me feet instantly at the cold, yn grabbing napkins and coming to my aid.

“Oh yn you giant cluts!” Her aunt shouted.

“But I-”

“Go get some proper towels you useless little girl!” Ugh they make my blood boil.

“No no, the napkins are fine, thanks YN" I removed my drenched suit jacket and began dabbing my face and neck with the napkin. Her uncle had us swiftly moved to another table. I continued to dry myself off as we sat back down.

“Yn you really must be more careful” her uncle repremained her and it was killing me. I can see now more than ever why she wanted to keep this world from me.

“SP, what's that on your neck?” Her aunt began squinting and I covered over my tattoo again with tissue. I must have wiped the makeup off. Shit shit shit.

“It's his Serpent tattoo” the whole table, including myself looked confused and shocked at yns suddenly brave voice.

“His what?” I could feel my neck reddening.

“Serpent tattoo, you get one when you join the Serpents, like Sweet Pea here. Yup, his name is Sweet Pea not Steven Paul or whatever witness protection program sounding name he said.” She tilted her head challengingly in their direction. Wow I'm turned on by this.

“I don't understand” her uncle could just manage.

“I'm dating a Serpent, simple as. I have been for the past year, I've even been to the Whyte Wyrm”

“You shut your mouth young lady before someone hears you!”

“I hope they do! I'm sick of you people! I love Sweet Pea, gangs and gun violence and all! When I'm 18 I'm taking back everything my parents gave you awful awful people because you sure as hell don't deserve it!” She then stormed off in the direction of the car parks

“Ahem well, lovely meeting you….No actually not really, you don't deserve to have yn in your lives and by the way, I scratched the side of your car with my bike” I followed her quickly then, leaving them stunned and confused.

I ran out to see yn leaning against my bike I had parked around the corner to avoid being seen.

“You look hot”

“I'm sorry I blew your cover, I'm just really over being their puppet”

“That's okay, I was going to say something eventually” I pulled her into my chest, shielding her from the cold and a world she didn't belong to.

“Do you think I could live you for awhile Sweets? Just till I'm 18, then my inheritance will be unfrozen”

“Oh, a girl with money, hot” she bumped me with her hip before clawing herself back into my chest.

“I'd love if you'd live with me” she smiled before running her hand through my hair to return it to its normal messy texture.

“Much better, I can actually kiss you now without thinking is this boy going to try to sell me stocks after” I grinned into the kiss we shared. I love my Northsider girlfriend.

---------------------------------

Much love Xx

[stripesquadsideblog]

so what did kagura say to shizuma?

I know pretty much all of us stripe squad fans are annoyed by this  convo that we cant hear between shizuma and kagura. Its kind of a cheap story telling ploy to keep us interested so i kind of see why they did it but im irritated never the less.

I think given the criminally short amount of time these “bad guys” were actually on screen we really could have been doing with more information.  As it stands Buntan (and kinda Hassaku if you squint at that shark jesus scene) are the only ones with any backstory. Not even shizuma, the main antagonist , has much fleshing out other than hes a hoshigaki with a bad attitude and a personal space problem.

Of course this could all come in later arcs but we fans are not patient people.

SO LETS TOTALLY OVER THINK THINGS TOGETHER

this is a MASSIVE post so its under a cut to avoid bloking up peoples feeds

Ok first off : this, THIS RIGHT HERE, is not the face of apology.

Shizuma is smirking and kagura looks scared, nothing fun is happening here. Jesus shizuma is behind what looks like a good 2 inches of solid glass  and poor turtle child is still afraid.  Further more shizuma is not the apologizing type. He does it sarcastically or as a means of gas lighting or emotional manipulation .

This right here is mockery. I can see shizuma saying something with a tone of “oh look the mizukages pet got free who would have seen that coming”

something rude , hurtful or other wise insulting 

I mean

Kagura is literally recoiling in horror and fear. Hes still scared of shizuma and why shouldn’t he be? Shizuma went feral and nearly killed them all not that long ago ( time line is a wee bit dodgy here because everyone was knocked out at night . hassaku and shizuma are up and about , even if shizuma is a little bit scratched, but buntan Ichirota and possibly hebiichigo are still clearly injured so im not sure how much time has actually passed).

Kagura is freaked out and ready to leave. He cant do what he came to do because shizuma still has power of him.

That is until he realizes chojuro has his back

Look at chojuros face. The little hand on his shoulder : thats the kind of reassuring body language you use to tell someone  “youve got this but im right behind you” .Suddenly he’s much more confident. What exactly would be so scary to kagura that he couldn’t do it alone?

He clearly came to say something. Hes not armed so hes not here to kill shizuma. The building theyre in isn’t like any prison weve seen in the naruto world( like the blood castle or karins prison during the war arc) . its very clean and the bright lights give it a medically sterile feel. I think this might be some sort of combination prison/mental hospital.

Which tbh is probably what shizuma needs, coup or no coup.

So what do i think happened?

I think for Kagura to have any kind of closure from this incident chojuro insisted he see shizuma one more time to say what he needs to say. To get some things off his chest so hes not them around with him. Chojuro has an enormous amount of faith in Kagura . hes given him 2 chances at his own expence. Kagura is clearly  unstable in some situations. Mei and chojuro have both spent the better part of 20 years sorting out the mess Yagura left behind. So why stick his neck out?

( side note i love how all the stripe squad are just ignoring shizumas antics. Like kyoho is just stairing into space like “i wonder if i left the stove on....”)

Sorry back on track

There was very little from stopping chojuro from treating kagura like everyone else does but he doesn’t. He goes out of his way to build kagura up. Its pretty much implied that hes actively choosing Kagura as his replacement as 7th mizukage.

But for chojuro to help him achieve that goal, kagura needs to get over some stuff. So he has to confront shizuma. Yeah ok maybe Kagura needs a little help to do it but hes there none the less

 What is kagura doing?

Well i think its 1 of 3 things

The most likely answer

Option 1 ) Hes telling shizuma he forgives him.

As i mentioned shizuma is not an apologetic person. That ladies and gents is the face of shock. Shizuma really only understands violence, like pretty much any blood mist kiri nin. So what would be more shocking to him that forgiveness? To me this shot just screams “ how could you forgive me after all i did to you.”

Furthermore do you have ANY idea how DIFFICULT it is to forgive someone who hasn’t even said they’re sorry? Lets be real here, shizuma was AWFUL to kagura. He literally called him a tool and told him hed use him till the end . he told him he was a murderer and that he was of no use to anyone but him.

I really admire people who can let stuff go like that. I had to learn through a lot of therapy but here kagura is doing it off his own bat. 

 SERIOUSLY i am really struggling to think of something that would shock  shizuma more than heartfelt forgiveness  except maybe option 2

Option 2 ) kagura is the one apologizing.

Now this seems unlikely  to me as i doubt chojuro would let kagura put any blame on himself for shizumas actions. That kind of goes against the established plot of ‘chojuro build up kagura’ by letting kagura accept blame for something that wasn’t his fault. But it could be kagura is apologizing for something else. Maybe “ im sorry it came to this. When im mizukage things will be different, ill make everyone happy” or “ im sorry shizuma but you clearly arent well, this is where you belong “

something along those lines

Yes im looking at the ninja world with rose tinted glasses here but it is a possibility. The stripe squad are disillusioned with the ninja world to the point of thinking they have nothing else to live for if they don’t succeed ( just look at hassaku “the executioners blade is all i have”). Kagura and chojuro aren’t stupid. Maybe Kagura knows this is something Shizuma needs to hear as much as he needs to say.

Option 3 ) kagura is goodbye/goodluck/im done with you.

This is another fairly likely one.Now what kind of put this one down for me was these two clips

Look at how determined kagura is. This isn’t the most forgiving of faces but then again id hardly expect kagura to break out his best cinnamon roll impression for an abusive asshat like shizuma . its possibly hes doing some sort of “ i forgive you now lets never speak again” sort of thing.

When hes done he bows his head: maybe in relief ? maybe he just cant stand to look at shizuma anymore. We don’t know and We don’t find out .

The second bit is this. Chojuro looks like hes ready to kill a bitch. This is his warning face: hes pulled a lot of stringers for kaguras sake and even shizumas. Like do you think if this kind of shit had happened in Yaguras kiri shizuma would still be alive and talking crazy through the glass? No hed be  buried in the flower beds nourishing the tulips before you could say  “whats the blood mist?”

The combination of orochimarus voice over and chojuros face makes things pretty damn clear :you mess with kagura again and i wont be so forgiving.

And then shizuma is just left alone. Kagura is done with him , hes gone, hes finished and by siding with chojuro and accepting his training to become hirameikaris wielder ( and possibly eventually the mizukage) hes essentially telling shizuma “ i don’t need you im stronger without you.”

And ouch thats gotta hurt someone with as many emotional issues as shizuma.

Hence sad shark boi above^^^

 I feel what would have really made this scene for me is if we got to see shizumas reaction to Kagura walking away from him. Like shizuma has demonstrated an unhealthy level of possessiveness over kagura: to see his tool walk away from him, get the better of him and be the better person would fill him with some sort of emotion.

Like did he pound on the glass screaming about how kagura needed him and how kagura was nothing without him? Did he freeze ?defeated by kaguras words, some sort of final revelation that he was in jail/ an asylum  where he belonged ? did he slide to the floor sobbing because all he’d worked for, one of the vital pieces of his plans was walking away from him and his team mates were all ignoring him? jesus did he even throw a little hissy fit???? we just dont know.

We’re missing a big piece of the puzzle here in not knowing what shizuma did after kagura left and the worst part is we’ll probably never find out

[ktrsss1fics]

Cheeseburger in Paradise: Three.

Her first four days in Aruba were spent lounging around the beach and drinking alcohol from carved out fruit.

To say it had already been a successful vacation would be an understatement.

After her breakup with Marcus, Georgina Ferguson had become a stereotypical workaholic. She spent too much time at the office. She put in too much effort into her work. And worst of all, she was paid too little for it all.

When she moved to LA, it just got worse.

Georgina was on the verge of wearing herself thin and only two people took notice.

One lived across the pond and the other was currently sat across from her sloppily eating a bowl of oatmeal.

“Horan, you know your bowl isn’t going anywhere.” She said dryly.

His baby blue eyes flicked up at her. His lips turned up into a mischievous grin. He reached over and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. She rolled her eyes in disgust making him laugh.

“Thought they would’ve taught ya manners in Popstar 101.” Georgina teased.

Niall shook his head. “That’s not until the 300 level course.”

Georgina laughed before handing over a paper napkin. Niall took it graciously before cleaning up the mess he had made.

It was barely eight o'clock in the morning. Various types of breakfast were being consumed as the group decided what their plans were for the day.

The group consensus was swimming with sharks and Georgina was not having it.

“Fergie, why don’t you want to come?” Maggie asked grabbing a spoon from the drawer.

“Because I don’t want to die.” Georgina replied as if the answer was obvious.

“You’re more likely to get killed by a cow than a shark Fergs.” Keith mentioned between bites of his egg dish.

“I bet she’s probably on her lady business or summat.” David joked from the fridge.

“Can’t be attracting those beasts towards us then.” Jamie cackled causing all the women to roll their eyes.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come G?” Brittany asked sitting down beside her.

“Positive.” Georgina said. “Sorry”

“She doesn’t do live animals.” Niall spat mimicking her accent perfectly.

“Oh fuck off you.” She grumbled feeling her skin grow warm.

“What are you gonna do then?” Brittany asked putting pepper on her eggs.

“Stay around here. Maybe lounge by the pool. Read.” Georgina shrugged. “Nap.”

“Got me suncream and a novel. Alls I need is a pineapple of rum and m'set.” Niall said pretending to be her once more.

“Will you quit it!” She glared at him playfully.

“Or what?” He asked flirtatiously.

Before she could respond, Georgina was hit upside the head by her best friend. This only sent the boy in front of her into a fit of laughter.

She hated how much the sound of his laugh made her stomach flip.

She usually was good about hiding those types of things. She could push down her feelings and act like they didn’t exist. She could focus on other things, like work or finding the probability of a team winning the Champions League final. She could detach – especially when it came to Niall. However, after finding out how much effort he had put into getting her to Aruba, something inside her changed. Being mean seemed cruel.

Within the past few days, a switch was flipped. She was finding it more difficult to detach herself from the thought of him. He still was a pain the ass but there was something about him that was almost endearing.

Before she could get lost deeper in her own mind, Maggie’s voice rang in her ears.  She looked up to find everyone looking at her. A slight blush crept across her face.

“What’s up?” Georgina asked sheepishly.

“Just want to confirm, you’re a no to the shark adventure?” Maggie asked.

“Correct.” Georgina nodded.

“Okay. We’ll be even then.” Maggie said grabbing her phone to see if she could book a reservation on the boat.

“What are we gonna do after?” Georgina asked looking around. “Like tonight?”

“Cook dinner and go out to the bars?” Jamie suggested.

“They’ve got a cool water show at the animal reserve near by.” Keith suggested next.

“We can stay here and drink again.” David said with a smile on his face.

“I’m sick of doing that.” Jamie sighed. “We need to experience the nightlife here.”

“I’m in.” Maggie said glancing up from her phone.

A few of the other couples agreed to join.

“I don’t want to spend a lot though.” David whined.

“We can pregame before and you’ll be fine.” Brittany said looking at her boyfriend.

“Ni?” Jamie asked.

“I’m in.” He said crossing his arms over his chest.

“Fergie?” Jamie asked turning towards her.

Georgina shrugged. “Me too I guess.”

“It’s settled then.” Jamie said getting up from the table. “I say we try to leave here in an hour, yeah?”

Most of the others started to clean up their messes before heading up to their room. Georgina sat quietly and finished up the food she had made. She looked up to find Niall still sitting across from her.

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” She asked taking a bite of her toast.

“You’re not done yet.” Niall shrugged.

“So?” Georgina asked confused.

“It’s rude to leave if someone’s still eating Fergie.” He sighed playfully.

Her skin grew warm as she tried to fight the way he made her feel.

“I didn’t think you’d want to come with us today. When Jamie brought it up last night, I knew you’d say no.” He said trying to change the subject.

“Wanna look at the flamingos at the beach? I’m in. Wanna see the dolphin show at that aquarium thing we saw? I’ll  be there. Want to get into a tiny cage in the middle of the ocean and have man eating monsters come swim by you? That’s where I draw the line!” She exclaimed.

Niall laughed softly making her smile.

“I’m surprised you’re going.” Georgina said.

He furrowed his brow perplexed. “Why?”

“Don’t you hate confined spaces?” Georgina asked mid chew.

“Well yeah that’s true.” He said with a nod.

“Then why are you doing it?” She asked.

“For Davey. He said he’d buy me a pint if I went.” Niall said. He saw the confused look on his face so he continued to explain. “Britt’s scared of confined spaces too so we thought if she saw me go that it would help her do it.”

“Good luck with that one. You two can’t even get on the ferris wheel at California Adventure.” Georgina said.

“Hey! That shit is tiny.” Niall said defending their reason to avoid that ride. “I’m hoping this cage thing is a lot bigger.”

“Niall! That’s what’s you’re worried about?!” She asked in shock. “A fucking shark is going to be swimming at you!”

“I’ve dealt with worse.” He shrugged.

Georgina rolled her eyes. “Teenage girls don’t count.”

“When they come out in masses they do!” He shot back.

“I’ll be saying a prayer for you all.” Georgina said. “You lot are idiots.”

“Means a lot Fergie.” He joked throwing his used napkin at her.

She finished up her food and stood up to head to the sink. Niall grabbed her plate and stacked it beneath his own before heading to the fridge. She scanned the table and cleaned up the little messes everyone else left.

Once they were done, the pair headed down the hallway towards their rooms. When they reached her door, Niall stopped  and cautiously placed an arm on her shoulder to get her attention. Georgina looked up at him.

“If I die today, you can have the chair that you always fall asleep in when you drink too much wine at my place.” Niall said with a smile.

Her eyes lit up at the lightheartedness in his voice.

“You can also have the shitty wine bottle opener you always leave behind because you don’t want it at your house.” He teased.

“It’s not shitty.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “You just don’t know how to use it.”

“I don’t drink wine so I don’t need one.” Niall said defending himself.

“Yeah but I do. And so does Britt. You should have one just for us.” She said with an innocent smile.

He shook his head trying to convince his body that it didn’t need to show how he was truly feeling.

“I’ll buy you a better one when we get back. I’ve had my eyes on a really sick electric one so you can have the nice one at my house.” She said making him laugh.

“I can get one if ya want.” Niall offered.

She reached out and poked him in the chest. “No. You aren’t the only one who makes money around here Horan.”

“You’re right.” He blushed.

“How long are you going to be shark bait for?” She asked changing the subject for him.

“Dunno. I imagine it’ll be a few hours.” He shrugged.

“Unless something goes wrong.” She joked.

Georgina nudged him playfully before grinning. “Then I’ll be one chair richer.”

Niall’s infectious laugh filled the hallway as they both retreated to their rooms to get ready for the day.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Worth leaving your park for? Carly: fun Carly: he likes you more but its k cuz so do i Ali: nah Ali: he was so 😍 for the whole sitch I thought he might genuinely explode on sight Ali: it was fun tho, you were so good Carly: that would've been disappointing Carly: he was better than i thought hed be Carly: lads that cocky dont usually come through Carly: youre always good Ali: yeah, i'll give him that Ali: obviously overhyped himself but all lads do Ali: worth it to see my baby work it Ali: and i hope not 😉 Ali: though u can tell my Ma that, get me off the hook, like Carly: not just lads me too Carly: never seen you play someone like that before tho Carly: we gonna try this on caleb next or Carly: she scares me more than your ex but still would Carly: for you my baby Ali: how can you, you're perfect Ali: i know, crossing lads but not each other back then, babe Ali: not mad, not exactly my finest hour but wouldn't hate having met you sooner Ali: idk if it'd work on him Ali: he's not as dumb as Drew, bless him 😘 Ali: felt weird being at his house, woulda died if any of them had come back, like 😂 Ali: never mind my Ma, have you ever seen his? Carly: you're too sweet Carly: i kno cuz you wanna treat him nice like you do me Carly: not how you did drew hot as that was tho Carly: nah thats the first time ive been there & mas w sons give me space like Carly: sorry we should have brought him back to here my bad Ali: blah shut up 😏 Ali: obvs I wanna ride him too but idk Ali: gives off #loyal vibes to me so probs not a goer Ali: Well you know, had to show you what a real girl on girl on boy threesome was all about, boo Ali: nah, it added to the experience Ali: whatever it was, it wasn't boring Carly: i kno that he gives off 😍 for you Carly: & you like him Carly: catch you in his room collecting hair or w ever to put a spell on the boy Carly: when you could just do it the easy way Carly: aw never boring when im w you girl Carly: youve shown me a lot Ali: There's definitely attraction but I don't really know him Ali: Only see some people at parties, he's one of 'em Ali: like you said, we didn't properly SEE each other 'til now, did we? same kinda vibe Ali: my rep proceeds me 💀 Ali: where's the fun in easy? Ali: besides, I'm with you, and you're so fucking cute Ali: who else I need Carly: k but if you want him to see you you've gotta get out there Carly: if you can turn me you can make him forget your rep Carly: got the magic baby you kno Carly: you're cuter Carly: making me blush Ali: you're right Ali: work on being MORE extra Ali: the world ain't ready 😉 Carly: me either Carly: you're also so hot Carly: unfair Carly: if you get more Ali: baby Ali: making me miss you already Ali: that's what's unfair Carly: can i be at yours later tho Carly: my parents are fighting about me & think idk Carly: bitch its a caravan Ali: That's fun Ali: about parenting styles or? Ali: Of course you can Ali: I share a room with Ro though remember, so, best behaviour Carly: ha Carly: theyve got no flair Carly: about to throw this washing up bowl at my ma as my contribution to the convo Carly: shit i forgot Carly: maybe i shouldnt come over then Ali: trying to think of a witty one-liner for when you do Ali: all i've got is 'this convo is as dull as dishwater' lemme workshop it, hold fire boo Ali: nah, please come Ali: lmao, flashbacks to Drew there but forreal Ali: we can sleep on the sofa if needs Carly: lads are so funny Carly: i thought he was gonna cry w he thought we'd changed our minds Carly: good stash tho Carly: only reason my ma still running her mouth about me Carly: well zen Ali: another night crywanking Ali: gutting Ali: yeah, and you see all that fancy shit in his room, clearly on his big badman hype Carly: cant ever bring him here Carly: never hear the end Ali: gonna have trouble keeping him away now, babe Ali: 💦 Carly: only if youre here Carly: you speak the local lingo yea? Ali: Gabh mo leithscéal? Ali: 😏 Carly: wtf Carly: you could've just said yea babe Ali: could've but i'm a showoff Carly: cant act like i dont love it now Ali: can but it'd be a blatant lie Ali: right tongue workout, Gaelic, like Carly: thatll be why you bothered & i never Carly: very gay of you Ali: odds already stacked against me being 50% scum Ali: had to do what i could, babe Carly: help me out then Carly: my da's trying to start a fight w ronan's da who dont even speak english Carly: funny or fucked that he thinks thats where i go Carly: guaranteed his da is calling me a slag while my dad does the same Carly: ha Ali: 😒 Ali: fight for your honour or gtfo Ali: So stupid Ali: want me to rock up translator cum where you've been wasting your time? Carly: i told em all ive been too busy having 3ways w you & the golden god but they aren't having it Carly: gonna have to give you all a show, am i lads that aint what you want da but its what ill do k Carly: walking away before they start kissing themselves Carly: the tension Ali: Oh, middle-aged straight men Ali: never far away from a crisis or homoerotic awakening Ali: Join the club Carly: grab another beer lads itll be alright Carly: im not knocked up or running off with your lad Carly: do wanna get out of here tho Ali: Oh he is not potential baby daddy material at all Ali: Please Ali: come over or you wanna go somewhere else Ali: think my Da is firing up the BBQ, another staple of manliness Ali: sure we can keep him from brawling and strictly on the burgers tho Carly: who is Carly: get me on the ferry before you get me down the aisle Carly: k im walking Carly: keep me company babe Ali: valid Ali: benefits of being a gay is no awkward hush hush trips to England Ali: of course Carly: if only my parents believed i like you Carly: get back to slagging me off for other shit Carly: irish at me again. i liked it Ali: Bit offended, like, have you seen me guys? I'm a sensation Carly: i dont think they know who you are sorry Ali: Tá tuillte agat ar fud an domhain, Carly Walsh Ali: at least I can dramatically ask 'em then and really fucking mean my shock horror Carly: if you don't live on site you don't exist Carly: do i need to be offended at what you're saying about me in that gay tongue twister Ali: everyone got their own bubble Ali: i found out the world extends beyond the end of my street tho but you do you lads, it is easier that way Ali: tho not safer, ask ginge 😈 Ali: i hope not Ali: was nice, promise Carly: i wanna see more of it than this Carly: like you said wheres the fun in easy Carly: shit yea shes your ronan like Carly: she gonna show herself at the bbq Carly: i believe you, you don't kno how to be anything else to me even if you should Ali: You will Ali: Make sure of it Ali: I've shown you the stars, gonna show you the wonders on this world too, scout's honour Ali: omg, so is Ali: although she doesn't occasionally come by when she's horny Ali: so we're safe Ali: she'd never trust me serving her a bevvy, like 🧙‍♀️ #witchesbrew Ali: why should I? don't be telling me what to do woman 😜 Carly: maybe she should Carly: she might be less sad and mad once she's had a ride w you Carly: you gonna play like you don't like it now Carly: just in the bedroom k hear you Ali: I'll put it out there Ali: get ready to cover my bruises this time Ali: 😏 Ali: time and a place, baby Carly: if you're showing her what real magic is she can't be mad Carly: but if she is she can go through me i got you girl Carly: wont beat me a second time like Ali: my lil million dollar baby Ali: into it Carly: your sister would be too Carly: not in the same way but would get her on side Ali: she's so on side Ali: now she knows you ain't tryna be my bosom bud like that Carly: she still dont vibe w me tho Carly: i kno it wasnt just that Ali: she's just shy, don't worry Ali: no one out here you need to impress but me and i already am Carly: what about your ma and da Carly: i kno they arent shy Carly: how do you want me to play that Ali: just be you you don't gotta do anything more or less baby Carly: im scared Ali: you don't have to be, I swear, Ma's not as bad as she 👀 and my Da's a big softie Ali: you can just come as my friend, they aren't gonna pry Carly: k Carly: i trust you Carly: itll be fun yea Ali: s2g Ali: you can meet Tommo, you'll like him Ali: and your fave will be dying for your attention, obvs Carly: mystery boy Carly: is he hot like your other brothers Ali: i'm not gonna confirm or deny 'cos bit weird Ali: also potentially rude if I nah it 'cos I reckon he ain't your type Ali: I cannot promise hot brothers making an appearance but you might get 🍀 Carly: hot sister then Carly: I dont mean my fangirl but the older one Ali: package deal with the freckly one Ali: not rock, weirddd Ali: but see, so ready with the compliments they're gonna 💚 u Carly: he's hot too Carly: & you kno i think the littlest is such a cutie Carly: but i dont wanna compliment anyone but you Ali: I'm not gonna complain about that Carly: better not cuz im almost at yours Carly: its too hot to turn around & walk back Ali: yay! Ali: lemme come get you Ali: i wanna kiss you before we have to be social Carly: i want you to kiss me whenever you feel like it Ali: might just take you up on that Carly: do cuz it means i can too Ali: deal 💚

[shxnixxv]

ooh nani nani

i feel like i have no one. no one to talk to about the serious shit thats going on in my life. take that back… i have people,, but no one cares to listen. i feel like im being choked by limitations and what i cant do. i dont feel free. i dont feel like im living my life at its fullest rn. im not living in the place i want to live. i dont have the friends i want to have. im not the school i want to be at. i dont have the clothes i want to wear. i dont have the body and physique i want rn. i wanna go on a roof top and gaze at the stars,, then scream at them from the bottom of the lungs. i feel like im always putting on an act that im ok and im not. and ik everything is tenporary and it will get better but i said that last year and the year before. of course small things change but the big things take a while to change and im running out of patience.

my mom and grandma are just the most annoying people on this planet. we argue so much and its so hard to respect someone when all they do is down you. when your feeling good and having a good day, they come in. say rude comments to where you feel angry right with them. they want you to he at their level so they bring you down. i dont wanna share the same house with people like that. it hurts to hear “just drop out, your not gunna do shit anyways” every other day. thats why i feel like i wear a mask with them. i dont wanna let them see the full me. if i do, they’ll just find more ways to bring me down. i wanna move out but i cant bc im financially stuck.

my now ex boyfriend disappeared for week bc hes depressed and going through shit and he thought he should be alone and not drag me down. even tho he knows im always here for him and whatever he needs ill be there, do you think that was enough?? no. we made up he told me what was going on and he promised hed talk to me. he didnt. he stopped the same day. didnt talk to me for another week. then hmu on snapchat asking for forgiveness. the nigga blocked me on instagram and you want forgiveness? “im sorry. i just need to be alone and fix myself. im depressed idk whats wrong with me” and i get it. he needs space. all while im still giving him my all. we love(d) each other so its hard to let go. maybe it was all bs. were still friends. i just dont wanna believe hes a typical guy. bc hes not. hes way too soft and nice to fuck someone over. idk. im slowly learning to stop giving my all to people that dont deserve it. and what sucks is that when i need him… hes not here. like its the weekend and he doesnt have work… so why hasnt he texted me? i dont wanna believe that hes not here but i have to. i dont mean to make him sound bad. hes reallllyyyyy not bad at all. i just have bad things to say rn bc im mad.

my friends are lame. first of all, there like the typical las vegas type people. always wanna party. dont talk about anything insightful at all. whats worse is that they arent REALLY my friends in my eyes. tbh i feel like i just tag along with them. but they dont invite me to go places outside of school. they do once every like month. i dont want friends like that. its not like i can just not talk to them anymore bc i havent met anyone else yet. i always jump around friend groups. so i dont have a permanent group where we do everything together. its like i know a couple people from each group and when i hang with them its awkward bc they have their group and i always feel like im catching up with whats going on but not actively involved. its like a dad that goes on a trip to mexico for like 3 years then comes back to their kids looking different and older and its like “so…. whats new?” its just that theres no one i can relate with here. ik there has to be one out of like 20,000 students. but i havent found them yet. the coolest people ik live far away and i hate it. ive tried to go on social media like instagram and search “unlv” (only the ppl with unlv in their bios show) and see what they like and find some people i can relate too. shit doesnt work. theres meetup.com which is like a group meet up sight. i found some meditation groups and shit but they’re all old people. no teen/young adult groups.

this city itself is stupid. its all lights and casinos and half naked girls and parties. ion like all that. i like peace and looking at the stars and talking about uplifting things to people i can relate with and dressing how i want to without 97% of the people looking at me like “….wtf is she wearing lol” its like everyone is wearing grey and i come in wearing yellow and different colors and people dont wanna talk to me bc of it. ik to be myself and shit but im just tired of being home bored. theres nothing to do out here and i wanna leavvveeeeeeee. i wanna be in nature and trees and grass and flowers. not fucking flat desert and rocks and dirt. if its not desert its a casino/house/business. some people like the desert culture. i fucking hate it. all nature is beautiful but my eye is caught more by colors. not just brown.

maybe its that time of the month

its always like i have a lot to say if im just writing. but when i wanna write a decent poem, my mind goes blank.

theres probably a lot of mistakes. fuck it