#of course he’s a Lego vip fucking of course he is lol

[yourviolence]

kinda demure

[legojacques]

Kent starts taking a photography class at a community college and ends up meeting a really cute guy there. The cute guy doesn’t know that Kent is a famous hockey player, and over time, starts to think that Kent is part of the mob...

(This was an idea on the Parse Discord that got really long. I want to come back to clean it up and redo it as an actual fic (or ficlet) at some point, but for now, enjoy the ideas that came out of the chat.) (@overheardattheaces)

Under a cut because it’s hella long

Lego: "I started taking a photography class at the community college so I could take really nice pictures of Kit." "Okay...." "But then I met this guy there and he doesn't know who I am and now I'm in too deep." "Why?" "He knows I like hockey. He wants to take me on a date... to a hockey game." "Oh shit." "He know nothing about hockey." "That's really cute." "I know." "You're really screwed, Parse." "I know that too."

Linnea: kent's saved by the fact it's the unlv team and he doesn't have a game that night. they sit towards the back and kent keeps his hat pulled down low

abigail: but what if this guy tries to take kent to an aces game

Tony: i have no idea whats happening but i want the shenanigans that come from "i cant go" "oh, why?" "uh. i have. a thing that night"

Lego: Kent: i work a lot Cute Guy: that's a lot of really weird hours and travelling. (OH SHIT HE'S A HIT MAN)

Tony: knlkdfsnkgjsI WANT THOSE MISUNDERSTANDINGS MORE Cute guy: Oh don't worry I understand. (FUCK I DIDNT THINK HITMEN WERE THIS CUTE)

Lego: Cute guy: I'M LITERALLY DATING AN ASSASSIN BUT I DON'T CARE BECAUSE THE DICK IS TOO GOOD

Linnea: kent's in vegas. he has lots of money. this kid seriously thinks he's stumbled into dating someone in a mafia ring. 

Lego: Cute guy: wow how'd you afford this house? kent: oh you know, investments and stuff cute guy: DEFINITELY MOB MONEY

Linnea: cute guy: bites fist investments???????????????????

taggianto: Look it's Vegas. Either he's with the mob or he's a hooker. 

Linnea: his friends are like: you're the one who got yourself into this. if you end up buried in the mojave that's your fault.

abigail: im living for this 

taggianto: Maybe he's a hooker FOR the mafia

Lego: oh shit. he's the femme fatale. seduce em and then kill em

Linnea: femme fatale kent omg this kid has a new story for his friends every week

Tony: i mean depending on what Kent's into if the cute guy finds something in Kent's closet--

Linnea: and they've seen, like, his fancy car and his shiny watch and the way he always wears sunglasses and hats low so he won't be recognized and he's clearly built..... friend1: you can NEVER break up with him. friend2: and pray he never wants to break up with you. friend3: it was nice knowing ya....

Tony: hfdlfgg why do none of them READ A PAPER 

Linnea: they're college kids?

allison (believesinponds): Vegas isn’t a hockey town. Lol

Lego: friend: if they find a body in the dump we'll know it was you

Tony: im crying

Linnea: cute guy: we went to this really vip club over the weekend and they just....waved him right in???? 

Lego: kent's got access to all sorts of exclusive and hot clubs in town

Linnea: friend: oh shit, he must be connected to the family that runs it 

Lego: friend: i heard that some mobsters do all their torturing in the back because the loud music covers up their screams friend: he took you there as a warning

Linnea: kent: so i was watching the news and they said these meteors are supposed to hit next week and be super visible if you can get away from city lights. wanna hit the desert? cute guy: that's it. he's done with me and i'm going to become scorpion food and my mom won't even get to bury me

Lego: lol. imagine the car ride out there. kent: (i'm being so romantic)

Tony: its so t e n s e on one side

Tony: but only ONE SIDE

Lego: cute guy: IM GOING TO DIE 

Linnea: kent just wants a romantic date with the perseids 

Tony: Kent keeps looking over and smiling

Linnea: they get to the spot and kent reaches behind the seats. cute guy flinches cuz this is it. he's gonna die. but it's a blanket kent: let's get out. get a better view. cute guy: he doesn't want blood in the car. of course.

Lego: cute guy: the blanket is for bundling up my body because it's easier to clean up

Linnea: cute guy: i've seen this csi before

Lego: cute guy: there's no signal on my cell phone

Tony: when you're already at stage 5 of grief, acceptance

Linnea: cute guy: if i at least get one more good lay, it'll be worth it, right?

Lego: cute guy: best dick ive ever had. at least i'll die happy cute guy: maybe cute guy: i hope he chooses something quick and painless

Tony: i mean sometimes, the only way to go, is during Relations™ 

Lego: so cute guy survives a tense night in the desert. he feels like he passed some kind of test but he's not sure

Linnea: but how does he learn the truth?

Lego: hmmmm....he doesn't.lol, just kidding

Linnea: and how hard does kent laugh when he finds out what cute guy thought? also looool when cg sees scraps

Lego: looooool. one day cute guy bumps into kent and scraps at a restaurant cute guy: okay we at least have it narrowed down to russian mafia

Linnea: scraps is canadian lol

taggianto: Mafia scraaaaaaps 

Linnea: lol it's post-game so they're in suits

Lego: Another time cute guy sees Kent with a bunch his teammates. They look like his bodyguards

Tony: I mean is Kent the smallest guy on the Aces You see all these guys in suits that are 6’0-6’5 surrounding this 5’10” dude and literally all you can do is be like what the fuck Anyone with any context is like “oh there’s the Aces” but if you know zero about hockey you’re just like “the mob is here”

Lego: Cute guy: on one hand, that's terrifying because they can break every bone in my body but on the other hand.... Kent looks so good

Linnea: friend: like, at least they won't break every bone in your body without his permission?

Lego: Cute guy: part of me is ready to be mob wife Cute guy: the other part of me is screaming run

Linnea: friend: ignore it. you can't run faster than the mob.

Lego: Cute guy: mob wives always look good though. Like I'm going to need to step up my fashion game. I always wear sweatpants.

Tony: I love that his concern now is his fashion game

Lego: He's seen Kent in his expensive suits. And even Kent's sweatpants are expensive.

gizelle from hell: Kent wears vetements nah jk he probably just has a lot of adidas and rebook gear

nerdflighter: somebody needs to continue this is absolute gold no wait I'll tell you how this guy finds out. this guy's name is,,,,,David. it's David. David eventually realises that Kent loves him for real and is not going to kill him in desert or something like that. and he loves Kent back so when David proposes, his proposal goes something like: "Kent Parson, I've loved you for almost 4 years now. you have an amazing dick, and you're the most handsome, generous, gentle, person I've ever met. even if you're in the mafia, I'd still like to marry you. would you make me the happ–” "you think I'm in the MOB?" [record scratch sound]

abigail: IT GOES ON UNTIL HE PROPOSES I'M DYING 

nerdflighter: ME TOO. they have a long sit down conversation about how DAVID THOUGHT KENT WAS IN THE MAFIA. FOR 4 YEARS. WHILE DATING HIM

abigail: oh also, when this guy and his friend's see kent after a rough game, with a swollen eye and cut lip, they are downright terrified, more so than they were before

nerdflighter: David's friend Eliza, drinking Starbucks: could've been worse. for a while there he thought you were a femme fatale

restfulinsomniac: They run into Tater at a bar and David is like “oh my god there’s a scary Russian guy glaring at us this is how it ends I’m just gonna get killed in the crossfire” 

nerdflighter: Kent, staring at Eliza: have I seen you before? Eliza is an intern in the PR department and the biggest troll ever

Lego: kent: hey so some the guys wanted to meet you . [nervous laughter] cute guy: oh my god they go to a low key restaurant where everyone is shifty and watching what they say because they've been warned by kent to not reveal his identity cute guy: definitely mafia

abigail: omg what if a fan approaches them when they're out like that

Lego: kent: [panics] [whispers to a teammate] can you take care of it? teammate: distracts the fan but what cute guy sees is the teammate leading the fan out of view somewhere to be "taken care of" at some point, cute guy overhears a conversation between kent and one of his friends kent: i need to tell him the truth. i feel bad lying to him. cute guy: [reveals himself] cute guy: it's okay, kent, i already know kent: omg you do????? how did you figure it out? cute guy: it was so obvious. the money. the hours. the bruising on your knuckles cute guy: i love you anyways kent: aw that's a relief kent now thinks cute guy knows he's a hockey player. cute guy continues on thinking kent is a mobster

nerdflighter: LMAOO. this is exactly why David was still under the impression that Kent is mobster by the time he proposes (does Kent think David has trust issues/an abusive ex bf because of the way he behaves around Kent's teammates?)

Lego: i mean.... if i had to meet a team of huge, hulking, famous hockey players, i'd act shifty af too. also, that's a lot of people to meet in one sitting

Lego: cute guy: so that scraps guy is hit man, right? kent: (aw he's so cute when tries to talk hockey. i think he means defenseman) kent: yes dear

Linnea: kent: he's an enforcer, yeah, but a total sweetheart behind the mask. 

Lego: kent: yeah he's a bit of a goon and he hits hard but he's always there when you need him

nerdflighter: scraps, a gentle boi, trying to make nice with David: so, I heard you're in college? David, screaming internally, heard from whom? your "friends"?: yeah, I study microbiology

Linnea: scraps: is that, like? the csi stuff? with blood? david: screaming internally, i promise i will not end up on the opposite side of the law from you no, it's bacteria, viruses, prions, cells. biology on a microscopic level. scraps: are you gonna be a doctor, then? if you do, i'm sure we can find you an opening. david: aaaaaaaaand now i'm going to be a mob wife and a mob doctor x.x

Lego: kent comes home one night with blood all over his clothes (from a bloody nose) cute guy: it's okay. i've been preparing myself for something like this. i know how to remove blood from clothes kent: oh wow that's handy

Linnea: cute guy: or is it better to burn them?

Tony: kent: Do not burn this its Versace i know exactly nothing about fashion ignore me

Lego: cute guy: i also know how clean car interiors too kent: i would never get blood in my car

Lego: cute guy to his friends: it's like he's a really hot james bond villian. he's even got the cat and everything

Lego: cute guy: did you ever have a different vision for yourself? like did you ever imagine you'd ever wind up as a, you know, for a living? kent: i mean, not really. it's what i've dreamed about my whole life cute guy: (WHO DREAMS ABOUT BEING IN THE MAFIA AS A KID???)

abigail: OMG. ON A SADDER NOTE. but what if kent tries to talk about jack to cute guy and he brings up the OD and cute guy is just like "yep his mafia friends couldn't handle this life" or "what if it was planned,,, is someone coming after kenny in that same way"

Lego: kent mentions "bad bob" a couple of times and cute guy thinks that he must be the godfather, mob boss guy. it's a very intimidating name

[ignisgayentia]

Hi I saw that you went to SWCO (I think that's the acronym for it) and was wondering did you or were you going to do a full post about everything? I just want to live vicariously through you while I read about it :)

oh!!! no i haven’t. but um i guess i can do it right here?? sound good maybe???

i only went for a single day ‘cause i just got back from another con in dallas and i was Tired™ but i just wanted to meet hayden and riz LMAO

alright LET ME JUST SAY this is the first convention that i had to show up at the fucken place at 5am. there was so many people i didn’t get into the building til 7am… then i had to wait 3 hours til the floor opened at 10am BUT THATS THE BAD PART HAHAHA

anyway, it was so fucken awesome!! i had a photo op with riz ahmed in like 10-20 mins so i couldn’t hang around and look at stuff, but there were SO MANY COOL THINGS!!! there were a bunch of different star wars designed cars - a bb8 car and a vader car (i linked my instagram) and so many other cool cars. lots of giant displays of sw stuff. huuuge screens of rogue one, a giant chewbacca funko pop, GIANT LIFE SIZE TIE FIGHTER, LIFE SIZE LEGOS 

anyway i had to go right to my photo ops. first was riz. riz was SOOOO FUCKING CUTE!!!! i had to make sure he was ok with hugs (bc i wouldn’t want them to ever feel uncomfy) and he was like ‘OF COURSE I AM’ and WE WRAPPED OUR ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER and my mind kinda blanked after that (HE SMELLED GOOD THO JUST SAYIN)

next was hayden, told that story a bunch on here - he’s such a sweetie, he thought i meant i wanted a hug before my photo op instead of during LOL but i’ll never forget his FACE BURIED IN MY NECK.. i could feel his breath against my neck LMAO SO.. HE GIVES SUCH GOOD HUGS!!! and after my photo i thanked him and told him i loved him and he bLUSHED and it was so cute he’s such a shy babe!!! but like once u talk to him he kinda opens up he’s a real sweetheart. i will neVER FORGET when i asked for a hug he really deeply was like ‘oH SURE’ and oh man lmao the eight year old in me was like MARRY HIM ARI

AFTER that i couldn’t line up for my riz autograph yet so i decided to explore a bit more. there were huge lego booths with star wars screens, huge funko pop booths with all the star wars exclusives, and the last jedi panel just got out where they showed the trailer for the first time AND EVERYONE WHO ATTENDED WERE CARRYING THESE LAST JEDI POSTERS AND I WANTED ONE SO BAD OH MAN. if you go on my twitter and instagram u can find some pics from stuff!!

THEEEEN i had to get in line to get my autograph for riz. i wasn’t originally going to spend the money on it, but bodhi is my girlfriend’s fav character from rogue one and i felt bad she couldn’t attend… so I BOUGHT HER ONE. i told riz that my gf loVED bodhi and couldn’t come and so i got her an extra autograph. he GRINNED SO BIG and was like “awwwwwwwwww!!!! tell her i said hello!!!” i got sidetracked from his voice holy shit. and i got my photo op signed by him, and he smiled at it and it was sO FUCKING CUTE GOD he’s really attractive rest in peace me.

AFTER THAT the rest of the day was mine to explore..i didn’t attend any panels bc the system for panel attendance for swc is really stressful u have to get wristbands at like 5am. but I BOUGHT AHSOKA FUNKO POP AND SOME REALLY COOL ART (LOOK HOW ANGSTY IT IS) and spent the rest of the day kinda chilling and shopping around like the sw trash i am. i visited the disney booth (which was so cool??? oh man.. the booth kinda looked like yavin 4 lmao) and got this really cool 40th anniversary shirt

PEOPLE WERE SO NICE AND GENTLE and people called me pretty and cute and gorgeous and were really tender!!! and the cosplayers were AMAZING, so many mandalorians and kylo rens HAHAHa. if ur into sw rebels - i saw the coolest hera and kanan cosplays it was so ACCURATE

BONUS: i didn’t meet mark hamill at swc but i met him two weeks ago, i can tell u the story about that!!! i paid 500 dollars to get this fancy mark hamill vip package and I GOT A PHOTO WITH HIM… and i was really shy bc holy shit mark hamill… and i was like ‘is it ok if we hug?’ and he was so excited and was like ‘ABSOLUTELY!!!!’ and pulled me in close and my CHEEK TOUCHED HIS AND HE WAS ABSOLUTELY THE SWEETEST

then i got mark’s autograph and i was nervous ‘cause i had NO IDEA what to say to him but he got me covered, he talked so much i didn’t even have to say anything, and he was really down to earth and treated me like he was my friend instead of a fan, he signed my photo op and i LOOOOVE THE PIC (in case ya haven’t seen it). he was talking about vaudeville???? and giving me random facts about things before i left it was adorable.

and his panel was G R E A T he always has the coolest stories!!! told us about how he didn’t know everyone (SPOILER ALERT) died in rogue one and gareth edwards told him right on set of rogue one when he visited, and he legit SCREAMED ABOUT IT LMAO. did his ~*dramatic luke pose~* (i put it on twitter here) and talked about carrie a lot here and here

ANYWAY THAT WAS PROBABLY WAY MORE DETAIL THAN U WANTED SO………… BYE LMAO