#of coruse there was drama involved

[kzesl]

Star Wars Coffee shop AU, but listen listen. 

Not a modern AU, no no. In universe one, where everything is the same except Obi-Wan never became a Padawan but ended up in AgriCorps where he, after awhile, ended up specializing in growing coffee plants. Selling coffee beans is one of Jedi Order’s main sources of income. 

Then we get plot! Stick with me please. Crack treated seriously is my jam. Don’t judge.

SO. Now I’m not familiar with wider Star Wars Universe, but according to some fics I read, Shadows are a thing (Jedi spies, yay). Let’s say a Jedi Shadow boss person notices that all the bigger cities on most planets have at least one coffee shop (caf is so so popular, okay, very popular) and that the Jedi could really use an office in every major city, a la Assassin’s Creed, and the Jedi Order is already the major producer of coffee beans and isn’t that just perfect. Not that wider public is aware of that because they would probably throw a fit if they were. For reasons. So it’s kept on the down low.

Obi-Wan ends up working in the first coffee shop of this type because coffee is his specialty (and tea, they sell that too!) and he is charismatic and it works. He moves on after awhile to establish the next one, and then when the Clone Wars begin he is on Coruscant because surprise! he networks like a mofo and that’s where he’s needed. 

He opens his shop and in the beginning it is hard because Coruscant already has many coffee shops, and his next door neighbor is the insanely popular Dex’s Diner. And Obi-Wan (who goes by Ben, because he is shh, undercover farmer) can tell Dex is shifty and Dex can tell Obi-Wan is shifty, but they both pretend that they are reputable businessmen. Rivalry that changes to friendly rivalry. One has great food and the other has great hot drinks. All is well.

Clone Wars happen.

The coffee shop ends up being one of clones’  favorite places on Corusant. When they get a bit of a break they go drinking, and after drinking all night where do you go? To get greasy food, of course. Which they get at Dex’s and oh, look there’s a coffee shop conveniently placed next door. Caf at (insert some ridiculous coffee shop name that has to be a pun) is amazing and cheap and the staff doesn’t care that they are clones (they don’t know it’s run by Jedi or that they as clones get an automatic discount). 

Aaaaand the proprietor is easy on the eyes and wicked smart and badass in a quiet, understated, way and would look amazing in some armor or at least a thigh holster and a blaster in his hands, or oh, a lightsaber, imagine that. Cody, vod, you’re staring. (Shut up, Rex, I’m not!).

Obi-Wan flirts shamelessly with everyone. Satine is his ex turned frenemy, and Bail is his bestie, and Hondo is his self-proclaimed BFF. Padme occasionally shows up but he doesn’t like her very much (I just think it’d be funny if they had this mutual dislike thing going on). None of them gets a discount. Hondo always ends up paying more. (Cody gets a muffin with his coffee every. single. time.)

Mace hears about the coffee shop from Ponds (His commander brings coffee one night, when they are going over some reports and Mace inhales his and nothing will ever top that coffee). Soon, all the Jedi know about the coffee place and they also get the discounted coffee but they are also unaware of it because they don’t really know the particulars of what the AgriCorps or the Shadows are doing. Top secret, but not really. They trust the other branches of the Order to know what they are doing and to share information that needs to be shared. Or something like that. 

No one recognizes Obi-Wan because the last time they saw him he was a kid. He seems familiar, though. Obi-Wan enjoys pretending to be absolutely clueless about the Force. Calls it magic to jedi’s faces. Asks questions about the Code (things general public doesn’t know much about, so no one finds it strange that he, who they think is a random person, would ask) that he knows like the back of his hand. Quinlan Vos knows everything, somehow, and is unbearably smug about it. But no one knows why he is so smug whenever they go to the coffee shop. He’s not telling.

Yoda shows up one day, takes one look at “Ben” and cackles, but never tells anyone either. Fun, he has. Trolling everyone, he is. Hehehe

Anyway, there is at least one clone or one jedi in the shop at any time.

The Senate members are a bit confused how clones and the jedi can afford to have such expensive coffee every day (take-away cups have the coffee shop logo on them) but they are a bit embarrassed to ask because then they would have to acknowledge that they don’t actually pay either of them which would be a bit... awkward.    

The shop has a few employees. One of them is Anakin who didn’t become a Knight but ended up in the ExplorCorps, got bored, spent some time as a space vigilante, freeing slaves (including Shmi, of course) and then ended up being approached by the Jedi Shadows and partnered up with Obi-Wan. They bonded quickly and are now bros. Obi-Wan knows Padme is into Anakin and he seems smitten, but Obi-Wan is not sure what her intentions are and he is not sure he approves. He doesn’t call her cradle robber to her face. (Anakin was sixteen when they met, and she was twenty two and blushing when he tried to flirt and Obi-Wan glared at her so hard she paled and stumbled out of the shop without getting her caf).

Han Solo is a tiny, angry, half-feral kid who mops the floors and occasionally sleeps on the cot in Obi-Wan’s office which Obi-Wan pretends not to know about because he knows the kid is an orphan and homeless and would run if Obi-Wan tried to help him directly or tried to involve the social services. Found family feels eventually happen.

Meanwhile, Shadows filter in and out and nobody notices because there is always some kind of drama in the coffee shop. And you would think that not many sketchy people would visit, since the place is always crawling with Jedi and the clones and regular people there to gawk at the jedi behaving like regular people and gasp sitting in a coffee shop drinking caf. But. But, the coffee is that good and the proprietor knows everyone and is owed a favor by everyone and if you really don’t want to go in, you don’t have to. The Solo kid is happy to pass along a message for a few credits and he is easy to find as he spends almost all his free time at the shipyard gawking at ships. 

The war goes on but we (the reader) don’t get the details first-hand. Focus is on what Palpatine says and his propaganda that is subtle, but ultimately not kind to the Jedi. Bits and pieces come through the Shadows. Jedi and clones who come to visit being more and more tired, some missing limbs, some with new paint on previously white armor; some never come back. Bounties on the Jedi, more numerous than ever. Citizens trying to belittle the clones in the shop, being more and more vicious every day  (Obi-Wan's not having it).

Obi-Wan fighting like a badass, eventually. Revelations. 

There can be some drama, but this is supposed to be a feel good story. Angst is welcome only if it ends. So maybe Palpatine gets eaten by the Zillo beast. Or dies from poisoned caf. Don’t care. Happy ending is a must.

I’m not writing it btw. I just want it. (this was supposed to be a couple of paragraphs long, wth). 

[jenniferstolzer]

Buffy Season 2 episodes 13-16

Season 2 ep 13 Surprise

Cool dream sequence. LOL they used the kerlan naskar pottery shatter sound affect again. Never not funny. 

Buffy’s having premonitions. Vir: “Prophecies are just dreams if they don’t come true”

“I’m sorry, I have to school.” I mean I know this show is a teenage fantasy but I like this romance better when I forget she’s 16.

“Buffy! I hear a pre-birthday spanking coming on.” Xander you’re awful.

Giles: “Go to class Xander.” thank you giles

I’m sad Ms Calendar seems evil now... or I guess not evil, just working against the good of our group b/c Angel is a bad boy. I’m glad Oz is joining the scooby gang tho.

A lengend of coruse. The Judge!?!

I guess Angel is not bound by crossing running water rule. Buffy’s having a sucky birthday. 

Angel got her a claddah ring. I didn’t expect that. Its so sweet.

I’m glad they addressed the whole “call the parents” thing and that it was treated as sad b/c it is.

The Judge demon sounds too much like The Brain from Pinky and the Brain to be scary

Big mistake in this love confession scene not to have her ring visible.

Innocense

Interesting twist angel. Did he lose his humanity with buffy just now?

Willy the snitch came back in words not in person.

i’m glad Buffy is reacting this way to having something so personal as her love and her body taken so flippantly.

Did they just kind of invent Ms Calendar’s involvement in Angel’s backstory. Also this curse they put on him seems really dumb. If he is happy for even a moment his soul gets ripped out again. Also a soul is not a person. A soul is like... a sense of humanity? It does show what actually happens when a vampire turns. The demon takes charge of the body and perverts the heart of the previous person.

This is the second time this episode they used the line “You really don’t get it do you” Note to all writers out there. Do not use this line. It’s cliche’d. 

Xander is still terrible. He’s a bad name to all men. He remembers everything from being a soldier, did he wear a costume specifically from this base? Why is this the sex episode? And it’s called Innocence.

Oz is super perceptive. welcome to my roster of faves Oz, hope you don’t turn out to be evil.

Ooooh Giles chose Buffy over Jenny.

If I didn’t already knew that Angel had a spinoff show I’d really think he was going to die this episode.

QUEST FOR CAMELOT POSTERS IN THE BACKGROUND WHILE BUFFY AND AGNEL ARE PUNCHING EACH OTHER THAT IS HILARIOUS

Why’d  you leave him alive, Buffy? I know it hurts, but it’s necessary.

Buffy “You must be so disappointed in me.” Awww Giles is the best dad. She got a peptalk that made her cry b/c he loves her so much. It’s so sweet. 

Tell your mom you broke up with Angel... or wait, you never told her you were going out did you? 

“Go on, make a wish.” “I’ll just let it burn.” This is such a sad episode!!!

Phases

Oz’s pig friends are more awful male stereotypes. “She must be putting out. What would you do? Talk?” I hate this.

Xander is now jealous of Oz. Cordelia is appropriately offended by Xander’s obsessive need to own every woman in his social sphere. 

Is that jock wearing a wedding ring? Ah, wrong hand.

Buffy is dropping my snark lines. Xander pulls a not all men but he’s the worst example. Giles follows up a “not all men” and yeah... you’re better evidence for not all men.

This ep smells of such obvious writing. Only enhanced by the terrible “Mein Furrier” pun. And oather scene to add to the “she-woman man haters club”

“First they tell me I can’t hunt an elephant for it’s ivory. Now I have to deal with people for the ethical treatment of werewolves.”

No ta bad transformation sequence. Oh no Oz is a werewolf!!!

“I need to ask something. Is Geordi a werewolf? Uhuh. And how long has that been going on?”  LOL oh poor Oz got bitten by his baby cousin. 

I like that the show is remembering the prvious episodes. It’s intersting that it’s all Xander brings to the table.

“I know there’s something you’re hiding.” X

Larry: “I could hide my fist in your face.”

I knew there was a gay confession coming. I’m not okay with it being used for comedy though. Like Xander’s going to be all defensive about being thought gay now and be offensive to a while new demographic. I’m glad Larry benefitted from the scene though. I think he might be a happier person now. 

They didn’t do anything about Teresa’s bite wounds before the open casket? Also they just let her site there embalmed? Did they embalm her before she became a vampire?

Poor Oz

Aww.. Larry is a happier person. i’m sorry Xander’s a lie. 

Willow accepts that Oz is a werewolf and tried to make him feel better with a pms joke. Lovely. Also it was a cute kiss but the dvd menu spoiled it so :/

Bewitched Bothered, and Bewildered

Xander is the worst. 

It’s Gile’s turn to be cagey with Ms Calendar. These romances are so much highschool drama for both the students and the teachers

Angel and Spike are in a dick measuring contest

Cordelia’s friends actually ARE shunning her for dating Xander. So she dumped him. And now Xander is going ot cast a lovespell on Cordelia to get revenge. Xander is a supervillian.

Awww she was wearing the necklace :( :( :( 

I was not surprised Buffy was in love with him instead of Cordelia but when everyone else fell in love with him that was a twist I didn’t expect! That’s great! Even the boys apparently. Except not Giles. I guess that was too far. And Giles outlines specifically that it’s the entire female population. 

Xander better learn a lesson from all this.

Second PMS joke today. B/c the only time women can be mad or upset is when they’re on their period.

Why are they at Buffy’s house? Doesn’t Xander have his own house? 

Cordelia, don’t find him manipulating everyones’ emotions endearing... 

Good, praise him for his good behavior. Now if we can keep admonishing him for his bad behavior.

Xander and Cordelia. There’s an abusive relationship.

[louisarmpits]

i wish i knew how to stay out of bullshit but i really dont lmfao then i complain about it but literally... just log the fuck off mel!!!! but of coruse i cant so i come back on and then i get anxious and mad and sad and angry and i leeve but then i get even more anxious then i come back and // // / its jsut sjust a bad cycle and i fucking hate it and it happens all the time and i dont know how to fucking actually leave !! and not involve myself in drama !!!!! but i cant !!!! i need to know whats going on all the tiem even if i have 5 exams i need  to study for and evne if i need to fucking sleep iah ate my fuckign self