#of a mirror of the way i felt growing up in an allistic family. which is fair but also i for shre wouldbe cussed this woman out very much
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fighting for my life trying to find info abt specificslly being an autistic parent to allistic kids but you search Autistic parent to allistic kids and evrry single thing is ITS SO FUCKING HARD TO HAVE A WEIRD FREAK WEIRD GROSS WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD SCARY ODD BLUNT AUTISTIC CHILD !!! WHEN YOU ARE NORMAL AND GOOD !!! can we all kill ourselves
#i did find a pretty good article im reading through. so ya.. it was a little upsetting at first bc they talked abt like. the author is l#autistic so they were talking abt an interaction they had with an allistic woman who had autistic parents and siblings#and she said some like. truly vile things and this person is a Far better person than me bc theyre like. well the way the she feels is sort#of a mirror of the way i felt growing up in an allistic family. which is fair but also i for shre wouldbe cussed this woman out very much#sry . she was saying shit abt how awful it was to see 2 autistic people presenting and being appreciated by their colleagues and how her#parents were broken and she was Real in a way they werent . like damn sry abt yr childhood but thats like. idk. im trying to be empathetic#but i am a broken and evil autistic person so im having some difficulty 😯#sry. i have judt been thinking abt it bc i might adopt kids bc idk likee. yk. idk what the womb situation will be and i cant afford to get#my eggs frozen etc. so theres a high chance my kids might not be autistic. which is sort of scary and i wanted 2 try and see testimonies#from autistic parents judt 2 see like. what their experience was#obv ill still love my kids KRNFJFNG even if theyre weird freaky allistics (#JOKING JOKING JOKING JOKING JOKING sry if my future kids r reading this.)#but yk i just wanted to see some of the things 2 look out for.#bc obviously. some things that are really good for autistic children can feel either stifling or distant to an allistic kid. which you can#say abt anything lol thats every kid but ykwin.
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Guardwork
Sanyi,
Hey brother. I heard from Csilla a couple of months ago. The ranch is doing fine but she was bemoaning the fact that our cousins would be taking it over. She raised the possibility that I could marry someone worthwhile and he could run it for us. I did not bother to answer and have heard nothing from dad, so the usual there. I know Bandi is still interested and would not mind seeing it in his hands. He may not be the brightest, but he cares for the damn things so there is that.
Otherwise, I have kept with the small jobs since leaving Bastille and his crew. Not much, mostly one-off caravan jobs. It is nice relaxing work and I can shift from crew to crew easily enough. Still, there are familiar faces which pop up every so often. Which is nice sometimes, although my past sins occasionally come back to haunt me. I promised you that I would behave better and I have mostly. Which brings me to two stories.
The first was my last caravan job. We were hired to be decoys and keep the bad guys busy while the goods moved around the fracas. We made a great show of it, lots of false jewelry and ignorance abounded. We were a juicy target. Too juicy.
We got a fair ways out of Ul Dah before we were hit. They were a small group and we were more than prepared for them. I took out a couple myself, then a third. Well, maybe not the third. There was a different group of bandits which struck immediately after the first. They waited until we had given the all clear and everyone was relaxing and congratulating themselves, then they struck. I heard the ruckus from where I was and started to turn towards it when my third kill proved to be not quite dead yet. I felt his blade enter my back, then nothing. Just the ground going sideways as I fell to meet it.
Honestly, I do not know why I am not with you now. Apparently I was out of it for two days, unconscious for the first then fighting off fever and infection for the second. Around that time our employer finally managed to get a healer out to us. He examined me and according to Sasha he looked annoyed. He grumbled to himself, said it was not as bad as they made it out to be and that I would be fine. Sure enough, I was up and about a couple of days later. I am not going to complain though. That is the one scar that still looks nasty though and checking it in the mirror it looks like it must have barely slid off of my spine. Again, no complaints!
I took a couple of weeks off after that though, recovering. Around that time I came across some lalafell named Cocotan. Do you remember the guard captain from Bastille's company? It was the same contact she had recommended to me before and I finally decided to check on it. It was not spearwork, but escorting and bodyguarding.
It was a fun change of pace from caravans for the most part. Some of the clients were asses and I would have preferred to mix them in with the chocobo feed, but that was just run-of-the-mill. The same could be said for some of the merchants I had worked for. There was this one midlander though...
His name was Allister Fen and he was about my age and annoying as hell. He came from Ul Dah originally but was living in Limsa now and wanted me to escort him around a bit. Nothing special there and the first couple of stops were normal enough. He had a fair amount of gil with him and was using it to grease palms here and there. I saw three times my fee being exchanged for just a signature, but what are you going to do?
Apparently the work went faster than he had expected and we still had a couple of hours to kill until nightfall when my contract ended. He decided he wanted to, even some scores I guess? Go and confront a couple of people with me standing in full battle gear behind him while he mocked them. It left a bad taste in my mouth.
The last stop we made was a couple of local toughs his age, big and brawny like Bandi and about as smart. They had had hard lives but knew they were outclassed. Still, my client got louder and ruder, berating them and showing off his funds, showing me off as a hired hand. I had enough and walked away. I looked at him, told him that I was off-duty and left, giving just the slightest of pushes as I offered him to the pair, leaving him at their mercy. If I was to judge by their expressions there was not much mercy there.
So, I decided to head back toward Gridania. I heard that the Shroud has been growing weirder every year and expect that there is some good money to be made. Even if not, I think I should be elsewhere for a bit - Allister’s family had money. I look forward to joining you, but none too soon, okay?
Love, Katalin
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