#of a higher caliber. if you will. which is a weird way to put it but i'm not sure how else to

[hecckyeah]

why do some people just have such an Effect on you

[grimoire-of-geekery]

Detect Magic: the Sixth World Tarot by Echo Chernik

(pictured here- the deluxe edition [left] and the Arcanist edition of the Sixth World Tarot by Echo Chernik)

Y'know, it's been a long time since I did one of these, but here goes. It's time for another Detect Magic review. I haven't put the Dork Magician hat on for a while, so let's give this a whirl!

Today we're taking a look at the Sixth World Tarot, by Echo and Lazarus Chernik. She has this available on her website (click the above link), which come signed by the artist and the author. I'm a bit bummed, I bought a copy of this deck juuuuust before she started signing them. Not her fault, but still. XD

For those of you unfamiliar with Shadowrun, it's a cyberpunk dystopian magic-and-mech RPG setting and fantasy novel universe which originated in the late 80's. The premise is that magic is growing stronger, the world experienced a big Awakening in the early 2000's, right around the same time that corporations managed to gain extraterritoriality. So, you have dragons running huge megacorps, which basically enslave people to be lifelong wageslaves from birth (or as soon as they can get their hands on a desired talent), immersive VR Matrix hackers, cyberware enhanced fighters and magic practitioners acting as "deniable assets" to said corps for all sorts of shady business.

Hence the name "Shadowrun."

This setting, one of my absolute favorite settings out there, has had the misfortune of developing a sort of eerie prophetic element akin to the Simpsons and its bizarre track record of prediction of ludicrous world events. Shadowrun was intended to be a cautionary tale, not an oracular one. That being said, that does make a tarot based on Shadowrun more than a little on-the-nose for predictive purposes. After all, they're telling the future without even trying. Wait until they actually put some effort into it...

All right, time to Detect Magic!

Accessory- Crit (4 out of 4) Stunning artwork, evocative imagery... this deck is gorgeous. It's so beautiful, and so intricate and well made, that people who don't even read tarot (or even particularly like tarot) buy several copies for their geeky collections, and even people who don't particularly care about Shadowrun have dropped their jaw when I showed the deck to them.

A bit busier than I'm used to working with (not the art, but the extras which I'll explain later), I was pleasantly surprised at how much I loved the cards when I first got them. The box for both editions I own are a nice durable gloss with a magnetic foldover closure, there's a ribbon inside each to help pull the cards and book out of the box, and the decorative artwork is gorgeous and fitting with the setting. Definitely aesthetically pleasing enough to take places, and durable enough to resist scuffing or tearing for on-the-go divination and gaming use.

Tome- Crit (4 out of 4) So, the Tome section of this review is supposed to be about how well the cards help one in the pursuit of learning magic and practicing geekomancy. And... really, I don't think I've found a deck (or any artifact of fandom) quite as good as this.

Let me explain.

Tarot, in the sorcery practice I teach, are already basically a pictorial grimoire, describing life in a way that allows us to learn the hidden movements, mysteries, and forces at play in our world. Art is good for things like that in general. It helps you see the world through a special lens, one which allows you to see things you might have missed.

The thing is, the lens of this deck is the Shadowrun continuity, which as I said earlier, has proven to be more than a little prophetic, and alarmingly so.

The magic system of Shadowrun is pretty adjacent to our own. Life force lines, spiritual power sites, astral projection and spirits and magical "energy" forms, initiatory mysteries... it's all pretty much the same as our own reality, just juiced up a bit, with some extra game elements added (don't even ask me about insect spirits).

This makes the deck particularly helpful if one wishes to learn magic in any of the myriad ways described in Shadowrun (and they're particularly respectful and diverse and true-to-life in their tradition descriptions).

BUT, it also has an entire lore-book called the Book of the Lost associated with it, which explains all these little secret sigils and images and easter eggs stored throughout the deck, which can be used for gamebuilding and storytelling, but are designed to be arcane indicators and omens, among other things. And the kinds of symbols they use range from sentences or mottos in dead languages, all the way to waveform patterns and dot-matrix maps. I swear, if you're one of those people who like puzzles and cryptography, this deck is even more fun than the Hermetic Tarot.

In summary, while you'll have to get some Shadowrun sourcebooks to really get deep into the canon lore, there's so much of it that the cards really show you on their own that I don't consider this a setback at all. Feel free to deep-dive with this deck, you'll learn a TON about magic if you let it guide you.

Relic- Success (3 out of 4) If you read the Book of the Lost, or Unearthed Arcana, or any of the 5th edition Shadowrun magic sourcebooks, you'll see that "tarot magic" is an up and coming thing in their canon. Each text helps you see how practitioners use the cards in-game for spellcasting, ritual magic, initiation practices and spirit summoning. The Tarot are already really valuable as central objects of importance to certain kinds of magical practice. This particular deck is designed to be so handy a central object that there's an entire book dedicated to it.

Weapon- Success (3 out of 4) The only reason I'm rating this a success instead of a crit is because they don't provide enough spreads in the various associated books for one to immediately begin casting spells with them, which means you'll have to do some designing. They do have a couple solid unique spreads for basic divination though.

The deck's canon in-game suggests ritual practices like gathering and doing a ritual with sets of related cards, and one such ritual was easily adapted in my own practice, into the Lucky Kimono spread I designed (which people can read about on my Patreon at the higher tiers). So, even without outright including spell-spreads, they sort of gave us clues anyway.

Again, you're going to need the sourcebooks, but it's only a few of them, and they're well worth a read even if you're not planning on playing the game (and I don't play in the actual Shadowrun mechanical system, though I do like the sourcebooks for campaign setting ideas).

Overall Rating: Critical Success (14 out of 16)

Achievement Unlocked: Novahot Echo's artwork is already legendary in the dork realms of geekomancy. She's done work for Dungeons and Dragons, Mage: the Ascension, House of Night... she's even working on a Fate: the Winx Saga playing card deck right now. Her art-nouveau delicacy combined with the powerful non-pandering way she draws women means that her paintings pack a punch!

That being said, it's rare that we see professional artists create a tarot deck of this magnitude as a gaming accessory. Most tarot decks of this caliber are found in professional occult catalogues or as independent projects by artists just wanting to flex their skills for their own reasons. To have a deck like this, clearly a labor of love by all involved, as a major element of gameplay within a franchise is really very special. And something this diverse, deep, and absolutely saturated with layers of ciphers and riddles... it's a geekomancer's dream come true.

Level Up: 2 Levels I think the only way anyone's going to be able to top this deck is if they manage to design a tarot deck that's also a fully immersive VR video game AND an AR game and divination tool useable with one's iPhone or Android. Legit, Echo and Lazarus left everyone in the dust. I haven't been this excited about Shadowrun since Shadowrun Returns first came out, and I got a set of dogtags that had a USB drive with the game on it.

It's just... crazy cool.

Full disclosure, I've had the deluxe edition of these cards for a while now, so I've basically been low-key squeeing about this deck since I first heard about it in 2018, even before I got it. I've been utterly astonished that people weren't more excited about them, and I wasn't hearing about them everywhere.

Before this, I created my own Shadowrun tarot method using the Universal Transparent Tarot (cuz, y'know, plastic and see-through and weird little mosaic readings all in one place, seemed fitting to me), and when I got the Sixth World Tarot? I don't think I've opened the UTT since!

Anyway, this is my review of this deck! Go follow the link up at the top of this post, and buy yourself one! And hey, let me know if you figure out the cool little map trick. My jaw literally dropped when I was shown that!

[ms-demeanor]

After reading your "ultra-long postivity post", now I have kind of a weird feeling because i relate a lot to pretty much everything you said, but i ended up approaching the "not everyone can x" from the opposite side, being the "gifted kid" teachers used to hold everyone to unrealistic standards (that i knew most couldnt achieve in the given timeframes), and now i get frustrated when i dont develop skills immediately, because i have done it before and feel like i should be able to and aaaaaaaaaa

Funny story: when I was a kid my parents had both my sister and I tested for learning and developmental disabilities. This testing included IQ testing.

It identified that we were both “gifted” kids* and that I’m dyslexic.

It totally missed my ADHD, though!

The problem with that is that my parents. Hm.

Okay my parents both grew up in very poor families. VERY poor. And they both wanted to go to college and knew the only way that they could was through scholarships. So they became debaters. They met at a tournament in high school.

Debaters are weird. You need an efficient working memory and strong recall and the ability to think quickly on your feet. Being witty and kind of an asshole are also good traits for debaters. Basically you’ve either gotta be really fuck-off smart to be a competitive debater or you’ve gotta at least *seem* really fuck-off smart.

And my parents were champion debaters at a national level. The Whittier College debate trophy has my mom’s name written directly under Richard goddamn Nixon. My dad was on the USC debate team and competed against Harvard and won. Not only that but he ended up coaching debate for USC and Cal Tech.

So as kids who grew up in extremely poor families and were able to go to college and get middle-class jobs and buy a house because of intellectual ability my parents placed A LOT of importance on intellectual ability.

So that IQ score became a large part of my life.

First we attacked the dyslexia. The approach was basically teaching me a bunch of sight words because sounding out phonics doesn’t work when the letters get screwed up. And because I was *gifted* we did a lot of really BIG sight words.

It took about six months to get me up to speed from “memorizing the pages of a story to match the pictures because I couldn’t read along in class” to “the first book I read on my own was The Hobbit.” I guess that counted as “cured” because that was the last time I got any kind of educational assistance.

At that time I was at a gifted school, a really tiny private school that was also an after-school daycare where we did full-day classes and then did gymnastics and swim from 3-6pm. I also was there over the summer because my parents worked.

So going from “tiny private school where the teacher has you stand up in class to read your failing grade in front of everyone so that she could shame you into performing better” to “fine public school in a suburb wealthy enough to have arts programs” was a major, major change. They did an aptitude test because I was transferring in from a different district and there was much discussion about whether or not to move me directly from the second to the sixth grade.

The district refused, thank fuck.

The public elementary school didn’t *have* a gifted program so it took very little time for me to become the Certified Weird Kid. My third grade teacher had me read aloud to our class for twenty minutes a day. I taught the class the multiplication table.

When it got to be time to go to the junior high school my mom went to a meeting for the school’s gifted kids program. APPARENTLY one of the kid’s dad’s basically said “I don’t understand why you’re wasting school funds on field trips for the stupid kids, the school should spend more of its resources on kids who have a chance of actually meaning something to the world” and my mom decided that while being gifted was important it was less important than making sure I wasn’t exposed to assholes of that caliber on a regular basis.

(thanks mom, I actually do really appreciate that reprieve)

Several teachers pushed me into advanced classes - my math teacher insisted that I take the advanced algebra classes in the seventh and eighth grade.

The GATE kids *WERE* assholes and were extra bonus special assholes to me because math was the only advanced class that I was in. (At my junior high school you had to pick your elective based on what level of classes you were in - to take the GATE classes you HAD to take a music elective; if you took art, drama, shop, or home ec you couldn’t take the smart kid classes. The algebra class was a new, separate addition to the program so *some* of the kids in the “electives for dropouts” program could take algebra. Schools are really fucked up, guys, in case you didn’t know schools are really fucked up and that was BEFORE No Child Left Behind).

I got a C in that algebra class and sat in my room for literally an hour screaming at myself for being such a selfish, distracted idiot that I let myself read my books instead of studying harder for the class. (clearly very healthy, normal twelve-year-old behavior)

When it was time to go to high school my teachers made a united plea to the district to transfer me into honors/IB/AP classes.

The kids in the honors/IB/AP classes continued to be kind of awful to me. I got extremely depressed and basically started doing the lazy-but-brilliant thing of completely ignoring homework or in-class work but performing spectacularly well on tests or essays in the classes that I wasn’t catastrophically failing

I was the only person at the school who got a perfect score on the vocab part of my SAT. I was the only honors kid who hadn’t been in SAT prep classes. There was only one other kid who graduated with the same number of units as I had, we’d outstripped the valedictorian and salutatorian but three classes each. I only applied to one college - I got accepted for painting but my interviewer urged me to move to the writing program and I got accepted for that too.

My financial aid didn’t come through and my dad wasn’t willing to cosign for loans on “an art program at a trade school.”

I got accepted to Pratt Institute on their Writing for Publication track which included an internship with the New York Times for third-year students in the program.

At that point I had a Columbia Scholastic Press award for my work on my high school yearbook.

Let me tell you, the community college that I went to and spent five years variously failing and succeeding at had a fucking *killer* newspaper and magazine when I was there. The local community newspaper that hired me when I was 21 was also much better designed and edited than it had any right to be for the three years I worked there (getting paid a whole eight dollars an hour and sometimes working 20 hours straight to get it in to the printer on time).

When I transferred to the state school I got perfect grades and worked full time and won every contest offered by the school’s English Honors society (which I couldn’t join because I was a transfer student and hadn’t done honors classes my freshman and sophomore years). I started a literary magazine with some friends when I graduated; we published four full issues online before it fell apart.

You know what’s also funny?

Even the food-service job I had to pay my way though the community college I felt terrible about attending was a skills test. I was a barista, so of course for a while I was a competitive barista.

I disappointed my parents a lot. I heard a lot of “we know you’re better than this.” I got told I was too smart to be screwing up this bad. I mentioned it a couple weeks ago but my results from that IQ test got compared to my sister’s and that was the justification for holding me to a higher standard. “You’re measurably brilliant, why aren’t you acting like it?”

Here lies the corpse of a gifted kid. Look on my works ye might and despair.

I am the perfect picture of a twice exceptional gifted kid and the reason I wrote all of this out is to tell you one thing:

“Gifted Kid” is a label that someone applied to you, it has nothing to do with who and what you ARE.

It’s very, very unfair that the adults in your life used you that way. I have an exceptionally terrible memory of being singled out as the only one who passed the first test in my IB World History class; “Why is Alli the only one of all of you who is writing at grade level? You’re supposed to be the smartest kids in the school, why did you all fail?”

That’s awful for the kids around you, that’s awful for you. It doesn’t do anybody any favors if people around you are being informed that you’re setting the curve they’ll be judged against. And it really, really doesn’t do YOU any favors because it doesn’t take long *at all* for your brain to learn that that’s all you’re good for. If you aren’t the best at a thing then what’s the point, you HAVE to be best because they already SAID you were best and if you aren’t then all these other people hate you for setting a standard that even you can’t keep up with.

You end up competing with past versions of yourself and focusing on those things that make the grownups in your life praise you because the grownups in your life has praised you in such a way that it’s turned all the other kids against you.

You know who bullied the fuck out of me? The kids I taught the times tables to, the kids I read to for half an hour a day.

Those kids were MEAN to me but the teacher who told me to read Boxcar Kids to the class after lunch everyday was NICE and she told me not to worry, they were just jealous and I should be proud of my gifts.

“Anon did this in three minutes. What’s taking the rest of you so long?” - what a terrible weight to put on a child. You’re right. Not everyone can do everything.

Fucking hell.

Adults what the everloving shit is wrong with us? Please don’t treat kids like that.

Okay.

Okay.

But here’s the other thing:

If there’s any time in your life that it’s easy to acquire skills with no apparent effort it’s when you’re a child surrounded by a support system that is engaged in making sure that you can acquire those skills.

It took three adults, two dictionaries, and several hours a day to teach me enough sight-words to throw me into “look at baby genius*” territory but from my perspective as a little kid I was just reading cool stories.

I spent four hours a day in the yearbook room and ditched and failed other classes so that I could work on the yearbook. I collected hundreds of magazines to get an eye for layout. But from my perspective as a teenager it was a fun activity that I did with the closest thing I had to friends.

I’m sure that there are some skills that you had a natural aptitude for, some things that came naturally. But I’m also sure that you didn’t learn those skills with no effort, it’s just that now as an adult with a life and other shit going on it takes more effort to learn to do things.

In all likelihood you weren’t a savant who did everything perfectly the first time you tried. It just seems that way because even really smart kids don’t know when they’re bad at things and are mostly being compared against other kids (with the few rare exceptions of music prodigies or math prodigies or those kids who end up in science grad programs at 12 and boy howdy do I think there’s a whole other can of worms when it comes to the way child prodigies* interact with the world).

You wanna know what probably saved my life in the last few years?

That “anti-capitalist love notes” tumblr post.

You are worth more than your productivity.

You are worth more than your productivity.

You are worth more than your productivity.

I was actually kind of offended the first time I saw that post on my dash. “No I’m not,” I thought. “You’re only worth what you can do, everyone knows that. People care about what you do for them.”

And why the hell would I think anything else? That’s what I’d learned for pretty much my whole life.

It took me a really long time to understand that I was wrong. I matter outside of what I can do for people or how well I perform. I matter more than being able to perfectly recite poetry from memory or do calculations on command or sit down at a piano and play a piece I’ve never played by sight-reading it.

And you matter outside of that too. You’re more than your performance, you’re better than being gifted. There are people who love you for the way you make them laugh and how you listen to their stories and for the simple joy of your presence.

It’s nice to be clever, it’s handy in a lot of situations even if it does come with a lot of baggage for some people.

But god damn, it’s important to be kind.

* Personally I have issues with the way that society constructs the concepts of giftedness, genius, and prodigies. There are a lot of “gifted” kids who were the kids who scored in the top 5% of their class in school but there are also gifted kids who were doing high-level math or reading novels as toddlers; there are prodigies who showed an aptitude for music young and who were then schooled in that instrument to the exclusion of all other activities (and I bet there are a fair number of kids who might be considered prodigies if they were trained to play flute for nine hours a day and didn’t have friends but thankfully we don’t *do* that to very many people - side note, ask me my opinion about olympic athletes some time). Words like “genius” and “gifted” are very nearly meaningless and almost *never* accurately reflect skills proficiency or long-term success or are reflected in income or respect. People think that geniuses are hypercompetent robots with their shit together but literally every adult I know with a genius-level IQ is some variety or other of total fucking tire fire.

[sinner-as-saint]

Haunted.

Destroyer! Chris x Reader.

Requested by Anon. 

 Themes: SMUT, slight Non/Con elements, language, ANGST

   You heard knocking against the wooden door of your little, cozy apartment, and you knew immediately that it was him.

Chris.

 A weird, yet familiar knot formed in your gut. It wasn’t fear, it was … melancholy. You liked him.

You liked him a lot, ever since the first time you saw him – with his perfect beard, and slightly shaved head, and his tattoos and his rings; and his attitude.

Everything about him screamed danger – and it pulled you in even more.

Prior to meeting him, you had never thought that you could fall for guys like him. Guys who were so reckless yet so magnetic.

But there was something about him; something you noticed the first time you both had sex. He was scared of commitment. He was scared of getting attached.

Although he made it very clear that whatever ‘relationship’ you both had was supposed to be strictly physical – you couldn’t help but fall for him. Hard.

And it hurt. Because every time, after fucking you into oblivion countless amounts of time, he’d always make up some excuse and leave.

He never stayed, never wanted to stay. And he told you that, but you were still foolishly falling for him.

 He knocked again, and you nervously secured your fluffy dark red towel around your chest and proceeded to open the door.

You were freshly out of the shower when you heard knocking, and didn’t have time to put proper clothes on. Then again, that would’ve been useless because he would end up tearing your outfit anyway.

He did that often, and so far, Chris had ruin 5 shirts, and 7 underwear of yours.

You could say that he was a bit more rough and passionate that your regular lover.

Droplets of warm water dripped from your body and fell carelessly onto the flooring as you made your way to your front door.

You unlocked it, grabbed the cold, metal knob and opened the door to reveal a very handsome, devilishly handsome man.

Chris.

 He had a dark jacket on, and the very evident blue in his eyes made you feel a certain way. He slowly licked his lips as he eyed you up and down.

You weren’t ashamed, or shy. He had seen you naked so, so many times now. You were, however, concerned with the fact that whenever he looked at you, there was only lust in his eyes.

He said he liked you on so many occasions, but you know he never meant it. Men like him don’t fall for girls like you.

No.

Instead, they use you. And you let them, because you crave their touch.

 Without exchanging any greeting, he allowed himself in. And you obediently shifted to the side to let him in.

He walked into your living room, and dropped his duffle bag to the floor. You locked the door, sighed and walked towards him.

 “What took you so long to open the door, baby? You know I hate waiting,” he plopped on your couch and pulled you onto his lap.

 Instinctively, you straddled his thighs and let go of your hold onto the towel – allowing it to leisurely fall apart and reveal your bare body to him. The towel bunched around your waist, yet it didn’t stay put for long as Chris’ eager hands removed it and threw somewhere on the floor behind you.

He liked you better naked, which was for sure. He had mentioned it once, when he stumbled into your apartment one night; drunk and barely able to keep it together.

Your hair was slightly wet, tied up in a really messy bun. You had absolutely no makeup on, yet the remnants of your day’s mascara stained around your eyes a little bit; since you didn’t get the chance to wipe it away properly. Your skin was still damp, and you were sure that you didn’t look very appealing, but something about the way he looked at you made you feel … dangerous.

It was nice to feel sexually, undoubtedly, desired by a man of his caliber.

 “I was taking a shower, sorry,” you replied faintly.

Your hands moved upwards to cup his face. His beard felt scratchy but you liked it. His blue eyes stared up at you, twinkling in the dim light of the evening. He was beautiful.

 “Had a long day today, and I thought my favorite girl would help me unwind,” he whispered as his hands cupped your ass cheeks and pushed you further into him.

You nodded eagerly, quietly noting the hint of alcohol in his breath.

It was always like this, he’d finish his day, then hang around the pub – drink a little, flirt with the women who tried to get with him. Then, somehow, he’d find his way to your apartment – where he knew you’d welcome him with open arms no matter what.

You were someone he could rely on; something he used for his own benefit. And you never complained.

   Before you knew, you were under him on your bed. His body hovered above yours, your arms wrapped around his broad shoulders.

His lips on yours, bread scratching your skin as you relished his taste on your mouth. His mouth moved feverishly against yours – bringing you on the edge just by slipping his tongue past your lips.

 “You’re mine, babygirl. All mine,” he’d whisper as he kissed his way down your damp body. Shivers ran down your body at his words.

 He spread apart your legs with ease, and settled in between them – his face dangerously close to your dripping heat.

Without warning, his tongue slipped in between your folds and his hands locked around your thighs, refraining you from moving away from his sweet assault.

His tongue traced imaginary circles around your swollen clit and every time he did so, your body shook as moans escaped your mouth uncontrollably.

Your arousal coated his lips and dripped down his beard.

You’d moan his name, over and over again as his mouth brought you closer and closer to your release. He had a way of making you cum hard using only his mouth.

And even after you did, he wouldn’t stop. He’d only moved his mouth against your throbbing, sensitive spot even more relentlessly.

 And this could go on for quite some time.

He’d take you in every way. Had you coming all over the place; around his fingers and his thick cock multiple times.

 Then as usual, as soon as he was done, he’d leave.

He’d get dressed and leave you alone, sore and cold on your bed and he’d just walk out of the door.

 Only to come back the next day. And the next. And the next after that.

  ---

 You cried when you woke up every morning. You cried because you knew that no matter how he treated you, you’d still love him just the same. And that wasn’t healthy.

 Chris came by again, some nights later. This time, drenched by the rain that caught him.

 “I need a warm shower now. Care to join me, baby?” he asked, removing his clothes and dropping them on the floor of your bedroom.

 Resist.

 “I’m good actually, I showered like an hour ago,” you replied, avoiding his piercing blue eyes.

He narrowed his eyes at you, then proceeded to enter your bathroom anyways.

Meanwhile, you mentally prepared a speech for him. One which consisted of you telling him that you could no longer be his fuck toy. His booty call. Nothing.

Truth is, it was hurting you.

  15 minutes later, he was out of the shower with only a white towel wrapped around his lower region. It hung low on his lean waist and his muscular arms and chest were on full display. Not an ounce of shame was on his face as he walked towards you, grabbed you by the waist and dipped his head into the crook of your neck – placing innocent kisses on your skin.

His warm, wet skin pressed against your body and his body heat was all you could focus on.

 “Chris, I-,”

 He shushed you by placing the palm of his hand against your mouth. He guided you backwards until your back hit the wall, right beside the bed.

 “Something’s changed. I can feel it. What is it?” he asked, nibbling the skin under your jaw.

Your removed his hand from your mouth forcefully; an action which caught his attention. And you could tell he didn’t like it.

 “I don’t want this anymore. We- I don’t wanna be your fuck toy. You walk in here like you own the place, like you own me. Then you leave without even caring for a brief second. I’m done, now. I need something more stable, more comforting. I can’t do this anymore,” you finished and the look in his face indicated that he wasn’t loving your rebellion.

 “Is that so?” he asked, guiding his hands to grab your ass. He pressed his body into you even more, and you could feel his growing bulge. You whimpered.

 You nodded faintly. You knew he was not leaving any time soon, especially not right now. So, you braced yourself for whatever he planned for you.

 “Well you don’t get to decide when we’re done or not. You belong to me, and I will use you like I own you. Because I do,” he spoke in a sinister tone.

His words scared you, but excited you at the same time

 Without missing another seconds, he ripped your extra-large, white shirt off your body – which was the only article of clothing you were wearing at the moment.

Your now ruined, large white shirt fell to the ground soundlessly; just like your protests – unheard of.

 One of Chris’ hands wrapped around your throat, while the other one cupped your heat. Slowly, he rubbed his two fingers in between your folds, smearing the wetness around.

You whimpered; in pleasure and defeat.

He knew your body; he knew what got you going. He definitely knew how to make you surrender.

 “You don’t sound like you want me to stop, baby, do you?” he asked. Mocking you as he dragged moans after moans out of your mouth just by using his fingers.

Your moans got higher, and higher and just when you were able to let go; Chris removed his hand from your now glistening core.

Your eyes flew open as you stared at him in disbelief; lips parted as your breathing got more and more rapid.

His hand at your throat tightened just the slightest bit – showing you the degree of control he had over your body and your mind.

 You could hear your heartbeat ringing in your ear.

 “Bed. Now,” he ordered and released you.

You dragged your bare body onto your bed and waited for him. He was right behind you, watching your every movement – deciding how to punish you for even having the thought of ending what you had with him.

  He pushed you until you laid flat on the bed, he discarded the towel he had around him and climbed on top of you.

His head dipped and he took of your nipples in between his teeth, his beard brushing against your skin in the process.

Your back arched off the bed, pushing yourself further into his mouth. He hummed in appreciation and you felt his cock, stiff against your inner thigh.

He swirled his tongue over your nipple a couple of times, before releasing it and focusing on the other one.

 You were far from quiet while he was at it. Your mewls and moans encouraged him, and caused his blood to rush to his lower abdomen even faster. The lust coursed in his veins as he looked at your through his lashes; your face had a pleasurable frown upon it and your mouth was partly opened. Your hands cradled his head as he grazed your sensitive bud with his teeth.

 He lifted off of you for a brief second, asking you to turn around.

You did.

You always did whatever he asked you to.

 Your ass was in the air, and soon his hand came down to smack it. It burned.

 You felt his knuckles against your wet folds right after the spank, he dragged his hand up and down your heat lazily – making you whimper and shiver in the process.

You buried your face into the pillow as you tried not to moan out loud to give him the satisfaction he wanted.

“Mine. Fucking mine, and you dare tell me that I can’t fuck you anymore? You’re wrong baby,” he whispered as he brushed his lips up your spine, his torso pressed against your back – pushing you into the bed.

You could feel his erection against your ass.

 “Chris… please. I don’t- fuck!” you exclaimed as he suddenly lifted your hips and stroked your entrance with the tip of his cock.

The friction was causing you to lose your mind.

 “You were saying?” he mocked again, pushing his member into you inch by inch – allowing you to feel all of him.

Unable to form words, you could only moan as response.

He filled you completely, his hand slipping under you to grab your breast as he slowly started rocking in and out of you.

His cock stretched your hole – which was painful at first, but you grew accustomed to it pretty quickly like you did every time he was over.

 “Chris, I- oh fuck!” you could barely form a coherent sentence as he moved rhythmically against you; your body moving along with his as he sped up into you.

He claimed you with a hunger.

 You felt the pressure forming in between your hips soon, and you knew you wouldn’t last much longer with the pace he adopted.

 He felt it too, as your walls clenched around him perfectly.

“Come on, baby, cum for me,” he let out through a ragged breath.

You obeyed. Like you always did.

 The only difference is, usually, right after you came; he would too. But this time, he didn’t.

He kept pounding into you as you rode the waves of euphoria – moaning his name in the process.

He fucked you relentlessly.

 “Chris- I-,”

 Your words cut short as he soon dragged another orgasm out of you. Your body was shaking, writhing under him – and he liked it.

He liked the control he had over you.

 Your legs felt numb, the pressure in between your hips became unbearable as you came for the second time. Your clit throbbed.

 Chris pulled out of you, for a brief moment.

He turned you back around and slipped his member into you yet again. You held on to his strong arms for support as his kept rocking into you at a fast pace.

His thick member sank mercilessly into you; over and over again.

Your thoughts were a mess. You came so hard the second time that you were barely able to form any proper thoughts. All you could focus on was him, and what his body did to you.

 Chris mouth found your neck and he left bruises along the way; quickly finding your sweet spot and assaulting the skin.

Your nails dug into his skin, and he groaned ferociously and sped up into you even more. You were ashamed to admit that you could feel another orgasm forming.

 “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” you heard Chris curse as he felt your walls clenching around him for the third time in a row.

 Your back arched off the bed again as you came around him and a series of cuss words left your mouth. Your heart going crazy inside your chest, tears rolling down your face – you were a complete mess.

“Look at me,” he ordered, his cock still erected inside of you.

You were out of breath as you opened your eyes to stare into his blue orbs.

 His roughly grabbed your jaw and placed his mouth on yours again. Lips moving against yours sinfully, his tongue slipped inside and he toyed with yours.

He removed his mouth from yours and stared into your eyes again.

Without any word said, he started rocking into you again. Slowly, then gradually building up his pace – he moved in and out of you like he owned you.

The tears fell again, sliding down your cheeks as you shamefully felt the pressure forming yet again.

 The sound of his skin slapping against yours was all you could focus on as he fucked you into oblivion.

You needed him to stop, but you didn’t want him to at the same time.

 “Chris… please, I-“

Overstimulated, you couldn’t word your thoughts properly. Your tears flowed down your cheeks constantly, not out of physical pain but because your heart was aching.

You knew that once this was over, he would walk out of your apartment without even sparing you a second glance. He wouldn’t care.

 He didn’t love you.

He didn’t love you like you loved him.

 Finally, Chris came with a grunt; biting down at your shoulder as he did so.

 He collapsed on top of you, his body weight pressing against you. Your arms involuntarily wrapped around his shoulders as you cried. Bitterly.

Not only were you physically exhausted, but your heart was tired too.

You held on to him as you let the tears fall, and the sobs shook your worn-out body. You could hear his heavy breathing against your ear.

 “You hurt me,” you sobbed and noticed that his body tensed up. He supported himself up using his elbows – placed on either side of you.

His blue eyes stared down at you.

His cum, mixed with yours was still trickling out of you as you cried.

You were a real mess; falling apart at his hands.

 “I know. I’m sorry,” he spoke, still trying his best to catch his breath.

 Your eyelids started getting heavier with each passing second, and Chris noticed.

 “Go to sleep, baby. You need it,” he finished by placing a kiss on your forehead.

 It was an unfamiliar gesture, yet you couldn’t think upon it too much because as soon as those words left his mouth, you were already drifting away to a much needed slumber.

  ---

 Chris knew he hurt you.

He was aware that he was using you as a means for release. It was selfish of him, he knew. Yet, he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t refrain himself from wanting you – all the time.

 He got out of your bed, and got dressed. He watched you as you slept; snuggling up to your blanket. A sad smile made its way on his face.

 “I’m sorry, babygirl. But I can’t stay. I hope you understand,” he spoke to your sleeping figure.

He could see the marks he left on your skin; dark red and almost purple-ish.

They would stay, most definitely. But he wouldn’t.

 “I’m moving away for work, baby. Don’t really know when I’ll be back. Hopefully you’re still here when I do. Take care,” he approached your body, grabbed your hand and placed a kiss on your knuckles as he whispered the words against your skin.

 He stepped away from your bed, adjusted your baby blue blanket over your sleeping body so you wouldn’t get cold during the night and finally made his way out of your room.

He turned around one last time before closing the door on his way out.

Another faint, sad smile formed on his face.

 He crossed your living room, and finally walked out – of your apartment, and your life as well.

  ---

 Waking up the next morning was as heartbreaking as any other day. You sat up in the middle of your bed, looked down at your bare body and saw the marks he left on you.

Bruises along your thighs, bites along your collar bones and you were sure your neck was stained by him as well.

 You had gotten used to waking up with him being long gone. Yet, today was different.

Along with his absence, there was something else that you sensed in the air.

Maybe a sense of… finality?

 Either way, whether he came back or not – you knew memories of the time spent with him were to haunt you for a long while.

Permanent Tag List: (still open!)

@the-omni-princess @saharzek @unlikelycandylove @sparkling-gayyyy @minetticatinwonderland @imsoft-barnes @destiel-artemis @avnngrs @pleasforhelp @randomfangirlonline @peaceinourtime82 @blvck-stabbath @nec-me-ire @sexytholland @isabelcrichards @ahappylilybug2019 @lighterey @gentlethunderstorm @scarlettequinn @elevatorsnot-worthy @ya-lyublyu-tebya @everything-is-awesomesauce @gloomybxy @mmyepic @breatheeagainnnn @ashlieadelia @dlcita @enigma-xlii @imrisaluk @asgardians-of-wakanda @grayxswan @thefvcker-tucker @freshprincessofwakanda @rynafallon @scuzmunkie @aflightlessborb @purpyyeol @xinyourdreamsx @starstar1012 @chrishiddle @ckagak @sevenseasofskye @sebabestianstan101 @micheviousliar @stuckybarton @vnarniav @wintersoldier1017 @mannls @cal-ifornication @t-kageyamama @dreams-in-blxck @miraclesoflove 

[radbeetle]

Bless me with your OTP!

Tagged by @tarberrymentats! I have... lost track of who all has done this one so uhhhh if you already have and I’ve tagged you, feel free to skip, but I’ll tag @ronqueesha, @its-sixxers, @lookbluesoup, @nukaworldnerd annnnnd @catastrotaffy​

Do they fight often? If so, what is their dynamic like?

Oh gosh no. It's something Kate goes out of her way to avoid. She hates any sort of confrontation, and if she's on the receiving end, her most likely strategy is to just doormat. Nick is very aware of this - though there's not often any conflict between them. Nothing major, at least.

Who is the most skeptical of the two?

Nick, by far. Katherine definitely has her moments, but she has always been sincere, and has a tendency to believe everyone else is, to take them at face value. At least initially. If she's left alone to think about something long enough, she'll torn it over in her mind, doubt and question it endlessly - but rarely come to a conclusion. These thoughts can eat her up inside.

Who would be most likely to suggest a night of dancing?

Nick, but only slightly. It's not something either of them would gravitate towards in most situations (but it has happened... it's just rare!) Though Nick absolutely can dance (And quite well, when his servos aren't acting up), Kate? Cannot. But what she can do is follow a lead very well, when given instructions. She's got a very good sense of rhythm, just... not great at dancing.

What would they do if the other was injured in battle?

lmao at ‘if’, this has absolutely happened before. Nick has definitely just ignored injuries (don't have to worry about blood loss if you don't have any blood) which leads to Kate's disapproval if she notices a new bullet hole in his coat (or HIM.)

Nick, however, is far better at making it out unscathed. Katherine's gotten her fair share of scrapes and bruises, sure, but unfortunately, she has the tendency to also attract danger of a much higher caliber. (See: her history with vertibirds.) Nick has literally dragged her out of flaming wreckage on one occasion, and out of general danger on a few others. While Kate is usually cautious, her tendency to push herself has lead to a few close calls.

How do their fighting styles complement each other?

They're both distance fighters for the most part, though Katherine prefers an even longer range. Nick will usually hang back at first while she snipes, but once they've been spotted he won't hesitate to get in closer. There have been a few... incidents... due to this (damned harpoon gun) so they've had to revise tactics on occasion.

They very much try to have a plan of attack before going in, whenever that's possible. Whether or not that all holds together is something else entirely. They both have very good instincts, though, even if it has taken a long time for Kate to learn to trust her gut (and it's still something that she struggles with)

Do they want children? Does it frighten them? How many do they want?

Not gonna happen, for a variety of reasons. Kate has enough trouble taking care of herself some days, she absolutely could not handle a child, by her own admission - and really just doesn't WANT to. Kids are too much work. Not that she has anything against them but she just can't be a parent. The closest she ever comes is being Shaun's weird aunt.

As for Nick, well, the detective lifestyle isn't very accommodating when it comes to children, and also, /gestures vaguely. It's never really been something he's thought about much, as a result. He's good with kids, though, and he likes Shaun well enough.

What happened when they took them home to their families? If their families aren’t in the picture anymore, how do they feel about it?

"What, bring her home to meet the family? Sure, let's take her on down to the Institute, find the scientists who put me together. That'll be a great time."

Nick's only family, so to say, is DiMA, and Nick didn't know about him for the longest time. Hell, he and Katherine were already involved by the time they made that first trip out to Far Harbor and met him. Their relationship didn't come up immediately, of course, there were more pressing concerns...

(I am not going into too much detail about that because I do plan to actually write that event out! I just have to figure out the when and the how... but it does all go down quite well. It's a sweet kind of moment, in part because I read DiMA as having sentimental tendencies... maybe a bit of an understatement, heh.)

Katherine's family was just her parents - she never had any siblings - and they would have died in either the Great War, or if they survived that, they would have passed away in the 210 years since. Kate knows the answer is one of the two, and she's never gone to try and find which. It's better for her if she never knows, she thinks. But she has thought about the what-ifs.

It would have been an interesting first meeting, really. Her father was always a stoic man. Never mean, or angry, he was a good man, but just unexpressive, hard to read. He would have liked Nick, though it might have been hard to tell.

Her mother was very much the opposite - she had no problem making her thoughts known, and didn't shy away from speaking her mind. She was never aggressive, and was always good to Katherine, supportive, even if she didn't always understand. She would have been rather taken aback by Nick - and his relationship with Kate, in part because for her entire life, Kate had never shown interest in anyone in that way. No childhood crushes, no teenage dates, nothing. So, having Kate come home one day with Mr Synthetic Detective would have been more than a little confusing. But in the end, her mother would have approved as well, though perhaps tentatively.

How does each person show affection towards the other?

Neither of them are big on PDA, though in different ways - Nick doesn't think about it much , but he won't shy away from it, not now. (Things were very quiet on that front from both of them in the early days.) Katherine will avoid any overt forms of PDA because she's just nerves all the time. (And Nick knows this - the single most reliable way to fluster her is to kiss her when anyone else is around!) But she won't shy away from showing love, it's just in a much quieter fashion. She's a very tactile person (despite her issues around touching most people) so there a lot of hand holding, shoulder touches, cost and tie fixing... little things like that. In particular - this one always really strikes Nick - is that she won't shy away from holding his bare hand, despite the exposed metal.

She's also very liberal with the I love yous and will find any excuse to remind Nick.

Nick is very much one for the classic romantic gestures, albeit adapted for the wasteland life. More than anything, right now, he wants to find roses - or whatever irradiated flora has derived from them. It's a gesture that would have been so much simpler to make in the old world. Maybe that's why he's so determined. He so often wishes he could do more for her, though he knows she didn't mind. That she's perfectly happy with everything as it is.

That doesn't stop him from wanting to give her the world, though.

Who cries the most? Who is better at comforting?

Oh, Kate is the one who cries the most - she's never seen Nick cry. (... and wonders if he even can, but that line of thought makes her sad.) Though she struggles with sadness a lot, it's still very hard for her to actually cry, even when she wants to, or needs to. It's from years of forcing herself to stifle her emotions. So it takes a lot to push her to that breaking point, but when she hits it, it takes a lot out of her. Crying, for Katherine, is a messy and exhausting affair.

It's an uncommon occurrence, but it still breaks Nick's heart when he has to see it. He was very quick to figure out exactly what she needs when this happens, and that's something very simple: he just needs be there. When she's reached that breaking point, words, counselling, discussion, that's all no good. She just needs his presence, to be held. That's comfort enough.

Who is the bigger flirt?

Nick. Kate couldn't flirt her way out of a wet paper bag. The few times it has happened, it's been entirely unintentional on her part, so much so that she doesn't even realize it until hours later.

Mind you, Kate can be just as oblivious about being on the receiving end. She's gotten a bit more aware, recently, but there's still definitely been moments when Nick's said something and it just goes woosh over her head for a while, until she makes the eventual connection.

Nick isn't bothered by this at all. (He'd never admit it, but he finds it funny, watching her realize it later in the day with a 'nick oh my god'.)

[xoruffitup]

Adam Driver on SNL: 1/25 Dress Rehearsal Recap

I’m having dejavu of the best kind. I’m sitting here on the bus on my way back from NYC in hungover euphoria and overjoyed disbelief at everything I just experienced, texting new friends and old, recounting everything in my head and smiling so hard. The September 2018 weekend of Adam’s last SNL show lives in my memory in unmatched infamy, so my excitement was off the charts to do it all again. And because this show was absolutely fucking INCREDIBLE, this weekend delivered in every way all over again!! Seriously, my face aches from how I can’t stop smiling aksnksj HELP :’)

My friends and I were in the Dress Rehearsal, so below the cut are retellings of ALLLL the skits including those cut from the Live show - and no small amount of helpless emotional flailing.

I had an idea of what to expect after attending Adam’s 2018 show, but I nevertheless felt sky-high levels of anxiety when Sarah and we arrived at the NBC shop at 6:30. I knew rationally that our chances of getting into Dress were good with numbers #12 - 14, but every now and then there’s the occasional oddity of only a handful of Standby people getting in. Though even without any uncertainty in the equation, my entire being goes on Hyped/Anxious Overdrive anyway whenever I’m about to be in the same space as Adam sO really there’s nothing for it. :’)

They lined us up by numbers, I did a lot of emotional wobbling like “I can’t believe we’re here again together guys waaaah” (have I mentioned I met these girls at Adam’s last show? Full circle moment of the highest and most beautiful caliber and it had me hella verklempt), and thennnn - drumroll and hushed silence please - the main security guy comes up to the giant line and asks the first 20 people to come with him.

As they constantly remind you throughout this thoroughly nerve-wracking process, there is no guarantee you’ll actually get into the show until you’re physically in the seat. It’s a long, harrowing trip from the NBC store where the line gathers, up stairs, elevators, and through hallways to reach the studio, and you can still be cut even as far as the very last checkpoint if all seats fill up with the people ahead of you. So as you get closer, the excitement spikes higher and higher but so does the worry! We went through security, and then I clung to our new Standby line friend Catherine’s arm as they lined us up two-by-two on the first staircase, with Sarah and @reylonly right behind. I was likely extremely annoying as I couldn’t help being rambly and weird in my nerves and compulsively hugging my girls’ arms. @reylonly did her very best to calm my hot mess down, bless her.

About 45 minutes later (Maybe? I had no idea what time was, lbr) we reached the final point of the elevator and last hallway, and were held just outside the studio. THEN - the woman there instructed the next 4 to follow her in (thank GOD because we were terrified of being split up), WE WENT INTO THE STUDIO WHEW YAYAY OMFG WE WERE THERE!!! - but then oh no it happened so fast that she pointed @reylonly down to a single seat in the center and then the other 3 of us to seats towards the left side of the stage. They were all single seats, but thank GOSH they were all end seats of rows right next to each other. So Sarah was right in front of me and I could grab her shoulder (which I would do a lot in increasingly desperate excitement over the next 2 hours), and Catherine and I could reach across the aisle to cling to each other’s hands! @reylonly was on her own but in an incredible seat, and during commercial breaks we would lean forward to wave and blow kisses to each other and mime flailing or crying as one incredible sketch after another played out in front of us. I made sure to be friendly and talk to the people sitting next to me so they wouldn’t be too annoyed with me and Sarah always grabbing at each other, but LOL they probably thought I was at least a little insane. I mean, maybe for the moment alone when I saw a girl I’d made friends with in line but then lost track of in a seat not too far from me, and we started waving and dabbing at each other. Once we were seated there in the studio, all the anxiety gave way to surging excitement and I was practically bouncing in my seat, so overjoyed to be there and see my dear fandom friends there with me!

Michael Che warmed up the audience with some standup, the House band jammed, and Sarah and I momentarily got Extremely Excited when we saw them setting up the hell backdrop set for the cold open and thought at the time it was supposed to be Tattooine for a Star Wars skit, lolol. But then the actual show started, and with our Adam-eagle eyes Catherine reached out to whisper “there he is! In the blonde wig!” And, heart in my throat no matter how many times I see this man in person, I frantically squinted at all the people waiting just off to the side of the set until I saw that unmistakably Tol Broad back, and then he stepped onto the set and into the lighted camera’s view and I was cheering and clapping so hard for his first appearance that I couldn’t hear who he was supposed to be playing. xD I was just tapping Sarah’s shoulder in front of me, bouncing in my seat a little, and trying not to start levitating with the sheer force of my excitement and joy to be there.

OKAY from here I’ll break this up by skit! Anything that was different or missing from the Live show I put in bold font if you want to skip to that! Starting with...

Intro Monologue

WHAT A GOOD MONOLOGUE, ITS LIKE THEY JUST LET ADAM RUN WITH IT AND WRITE IT HIMSELF IT WAS SO HIM AND HILARIOUS AND WEIRD AND YET CHARMING IDEK I WILL NEVER COMPREHEND THE WONDER OF THIS MAN??

So when he dropped the bomb of “I’m a husband and a FATHER” I clapped Sarah’s shoulder SO HARD, then he made he joke “I’ve made it very clear to my son that he’s second in everything” and I could not bELIEVE the wonder of what I was hearing omfg. I heard the words “my son” come out of his mouth with my own ears WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED, SURE AS HELL NOT ME????

Then he went into the audience to demonstrate how “approachable” he is and was so awk/weird/hilarious I was just losing it, then took his time meandering around the stage and making weird faces into the camera and I was just LOSING IT. And AKSKSJA after that he wandered over to another camera that was lower and kind of hummed as he lifted his shirt and put it over the camera so we got a full on belly button view for 2 unbelievable glorious seconds!! He looked up at the monitors as he was doing it and went “oh you can’t see anything” so that’s probably why he sadly didn’t flash his belly in the Live show.

“Cheer” with Adam as one of the team coaches

I’m going by the skit order in Dress, and this one was first after the monologue. Best part for me was the accent reminiscent of Clyde Logan. :3 But tbh, of the 6 skits they did for the Live show, I kind of wish this one had been swapped for the one performed last in Dress that was sO Wild and would have made fandom absolutely lose its shit aksnksal more to come on that.

UNDERCOVER BOSS AKA RANDY THE INTERN

THE BEST GIFT WE COULD HAVE RECEIVED!! BLESS YOU SNL AND ADAM FOR GIVING US KYLO CONTENT TO BE HAPPY OVER AND LOVE WHOLE HEARTEDLY. T___T

Honestly, I cannot even properly describe my reaction when the Undercover Boss intro logo appeared on all the monitors oHMYLoRDDD. I nearly leapt out of my seat, like my heart nearly jumped clear out of my chest oh my fuck and I was legit holding onto Sarah so much I almost slid out of my seat - I just couldn’t believe it and I cheered SO LOUD. The entire audience erupted with this “HOLY SHIT” vibe outburst and I was SO happy to be there in that moment - knowing that our entire fandom was only hours away from this!! I honestly didn’t expect it at all - after they didn’t do one of these the second time Adam was on, I thought there was no chance. But IT HAPPENED AND IT WAS SO QUALITY HILARIOUS WE ARE SO BLESSED - THANK YOU TO RANDY’S LIL BEANIE AND VEST AND HIPSTER PANTS.

Pretty sure I like half curled up on myself laughing so hard my feet left the floor at OK BOOMER. And at the part with “will Rey take his hand?” I swear MY SOUL NEAR LEFT MY BODY I MEAN IS THIS THE REAL LIFE IS THIS JUST FANTASYYYY

..... Can someone come promise me we really didn’t just collectively hallucinate that??

SAG Awards Fashion Red Carpet

I’m not too disappointed this one was cut. Of all the amazing skits performed, I would have ranked this one lower. Adam and Kenan Thompson were fashion critics talking about celebs’ looks on the SAG red carpet. A minute in Adam says, “We should be paying more attention to the kids!” Kenan: *nervous laugh* “uh, should we??” Adam starts talking about/admiring the outfits for like Finn Wolfhard etc, with hilarious but bordering creepy descriptions like “masculine but not quite fully grown,” until Kenan is like “umm maybe we shouldn’t be talking about kids this much?”

They interview a girl who’s supposed to be Jojo Siwa and Adam’s like “you should know I think you’re beautiful. Kids need to hear more often that they’re beautiful.” Kenan panics, going “alRIGHT we’re gonna cut back to the studio now!” The skit ended with Adam: “I got a ticket to the Nickelodeon afterparty and I’m gonna swipe one of those kids in my pocket!”

“Slow” Digital Short

HONESTLY, this competes with Undercover Boss for my favorite skit of the night. I can’t even tell you - I had literal tears running down my face I was laughing SO fucking hard during this entire thing. From the first moment we heard Adam’s deep-ass voice I absolutely and entirely lost my shit oh my GOD. We’d been so pumped for Adam in some kind of rap sketch when we saw the photos of him and Kenan filming the day before, but it was SO FUCKING GOOD. I will never ever in all my days not bust out laughing at “Bring that ass here” and “In a 65 hour lane going 2” aksnskns I’m on the bus struggling to fight back laughter just thinking about it SEND HELP!!!

It’s just brilliant. The turtle next to his expensive loafers. His cheesy sunglasses. That shot of his glorious bare arms. His deep voice “Baby” when they’re at the door and “But I brought ice cream” oh my god I love it so much BLESS YOU SNL BLESS YOU. I never in all my days thought I’d get Adam rapping but it’s every single thing I never knew I needed.

Del Taco Commercial / “Aw Man I’m All Outta Cash!”

ADAM’S SLEAZY LOOKING LONG WIG LMAO. This one was a wild and funny time once you got into it and just let it go. Once Kyle, Beck, and Adam were all yelling the line and Adam went “You don’t want to kill yourself, you just want a taco, Jesus” everyone was ROLLING. I think the only difference (is this even worth color coding lol) was that after Kyle took his pants off Adam kept slapping his thigh during Dress bahaha.

“Hot Dad” Adam dealing with a clogged toilet at a teenaged girls’ sleepover

Adam and Kate McKinnon comedy together YES PLEASE. This one was all the same as far as I can remember, but I will say that a woop/cheer rose from the people sitting near the set for this one at the line about Adam being a “hot Dad.” Yep sounds about right.

(Halsey’s first song, Weekend Update)

Medieval Renaissance Fair

You can’t have Adam host SNL without giving him some ridiculous character skit ala Oil Baron Parnassus. I absolutely loved how intense and deep he was for this kind of nonsense xD We can thank this skit for giving us footage of Adam yelling “Whore!” and spitting, lmao. Also.... I’ll just say in that outfit and wig he looked even Extra Big in comparison to everyone around him.

Courtroom Trial / Sinbad on Cameo

I’m also okay with this one being cut, but I was biased to enjoy the hell out of it live because the set was right in front of where I was sitting and I had such a perfect view of him. <3

Adam was supposed to be the defendant in a case where a female coworker claims he harassed her by sending “threatening” videos. Adam goes up on the stand and the prosecutor asks “are you familiar with these videos?” Cut over to Kenan Thompson, who’s pretending to be Sinbad on the app Cameo, making videos for the woman that are like “Hey you better give Mark a chance! Otherwise he might come after you!” Adam responds with disbelief: “I have no idea who this Sinbad person is and frankly, your honor, this is pissing me off.” Kenan acts a few more videos which keep getting funnier because he keeps eating things or being in crowded public places while filming them. But in the final video he references Adam’s character’s name so it’s clear he was the one requesting the videos. Adam gets all sad on the stand: “It doesn’t matter. No one likes me anyway!” It ends with Kenan as Sinbad crashing into the courtroom in person.

This was more Kenan’s skit as he really was hilarious, but someone had to explain to me afterwards who Sinbad is and how the Cameo app works so I didn’t quite ~get it while watching. BUT more importantly - Adam looked great despite the weird brown wig he had on. During the second of Kenan’s videos when the cameras were on Kenan instead, Adam’s face definitely started quivering with suppressed laughter until he visibly locked it down like NO FOCUS ADAM. Most of my attention stayed fixed on the buttons of his shirt because hOOo boy were they straining! Without me even saying anything, Catherine reached across the aisle for me immediately afterwards and whispered, “That shirt did /not/ fit well.” OH YES I NOTICED >:33

PBS Science Show

Another one which was performed right directly in front of us!! I already knew this was going to be a good one because Adam went right over to the skeleton mannequin when he came on set and started playing with it, like making the arm and wrist wiggle around. The biggest dork cutie you’ll ever see.

He was standing right under me, which meant once he started handling the balloon I got mighty distracted watching his MASSIVE hands around that tiny-looking balloon. >:)) Then I cracked up so hard when he got exasperated and threw something back against the window. WE GOT TO SEE HIM SMASH SOMETHING IN PERSON YESSSS

Ketchup bottles

Oh my GOD EVERYTHING WAS AMAZING ABOUT THIS ONE FROM START TO FINISH. The best part though might have been the prep beforehand. Someone carried the giant Ketchup and hot sauce bottles onto the set before the actors came on and we were like wtf? (For a minute I was triggered remembering Kanye coming on in his Perrier bottle during the 2018 show) But THEN Adam and Cecily Strong came on in big red shirts and people started lifting the giant plastic bottles over them and LOL we realized where this was going. They definitely struggled for a minute getting Adam’s bottle up over his head because of his height xD People in the audience were already laughing just watching this costume set up, and once Adam got the bottle on a WOOT cheer rose which I later learned was none other than @reylonly aka my hero. It was followed by someone yelling “THATS HOT”, which akndosjan made Adam laugh and raise his arms with a hilarious little shimmy in the bottle. He really seemed to be enjoying himself during the whole show, but during this ridiculous and incredibly hilarious skit especially so.

Game Night / Movie Quote Competition

OKAY this is the skit it’s a real tragedy didn’t make it on air! There were lines in this I couldn’t beLiEvE my ears were hearing, and if we ever get a recording I’m pretty sure the fandom would basically implode. 

Three couples are sitting around a living room having a game night. Adam is sitting with Kate McKinnon with his arm around her. After they finish playing Settlers of Catan, Heidi Gardner suggests they play a movie quote game where one of them says a line from a movie and the rest have to guess the movie. She is clearly very into it, and the others reluctantly agree. It quickly becomes clear that Adam is just as good at the game as she is, and they immediately start becoming competitive. They reach the point where they quote three lines from Captain Phillips in a row, trying to trick each other. As the game gets more heated, they exchange aggressive flirty banter such as:

Heidi: You really know your movie quotes, huh? Adam: Yeah I do. Heidi: And with some BDE over there. Adam: Yeah, I got that too.

AND !!!!!!!!!!

Heidi: You’re quite the movie flick daddy. Adam: I’m the world’s biggest flick daddy.

!!!!!!!!! HE CALLED HIMSELF A DADDY HELP CALL 911 EMERGENCY !!!!!!!!!!

The game keeps escalating until Kate tries to calm Adam down and he brushes her off. Everyone else tries to tell Heidi to relax, and she responds “What?! I’m supposed to lie back and let (Kate’s character’s name)’s hot husband rail me??”

I WAS FLOATING ON THE CEILING BY THIS POINT, I literally couldn’t believe what my ears were hearing alsdfjsldafjlsdkfj!

It gets to the point where they’re both standing, shouting completely vague snippets of lines at each other while the other continues to guess correctly. Until finally Adam exclaims, “I got a good one!” He grabs her and fULL ON kisses her. 

(Pictures from The Adam Driver Files twitter.)

Immediately afterwards she goes, “I know! That was the kiss from (Movie X - I can’t remember the exact title).” Adam: “HOW DID YOU KNOW?!” Heidi: “From how you moved your tongue!”

I’m still reeling from this one. Adam calling himself a daddy, talk of “getting railed” by him, and intense kissing?! Oh my lORDDDD. I’m still trying to keep it playing on a loop in my ears. I’m not sure if we as a fandom could collectively survive a full video of this, but GOD I hope we get the chance to test ourselves. RELEASE THE UNAIRED VIDEO, YOU NBC COWARDS!!!

FLICK DADDY INDEED

...Aaaaaaand that was a wrap! After 10 skits and nearly 2.5 hours, it literally felt like I had run a marathon at a full sprint. I was just trying to process everything I’d just witnessed, while trying to focus on committing every single thing to memory. I just couldn’t believe the range of amazing and hilarious things I’d just seen Adam doing: Play a talking ketchup bottle, call himself a daddy, awkwardly talk about feminine products clogging his toilet, yell “WHORE” then spit and swing a medieval mace around, rap hilariously, and yell about umami?? It was all almost TOO MUCH. 

For full-circle and emotional fulfillment reasons, I wore my Save Ben Solo shirt to the show just like I did at the 2018 show. I had debated beforehand whether it would be too bittersweet to wear it after TROS, but now I’m so glad I did. All these hilarious and zany skits were just what we all needed to continue the cycle of fandom excitement and positivity despite the last month. I’m so incredibly grateful to SNL for such great material for Adam to work with and us to laugh at, and for giving us the perfect reminder that there’s still so much to whole-heartedly appreciate and love. Most of all, Adam himself. <3

THANK YOU SNL AND ADAM FOR ANOTHER LIFE-HIGHLIGHT WEEKEND! <3

[lonestarbabe]

Holding Out For a Hero

Chapter 1: Where Have All The Good Men Gone

When T.K. Strand was eight years old, his father died on 9/11 with the rest of his fire station, and T.K.’s life forever changed. Luckily, in his grief and anger, T.K. found music, which gave him an outlet and kept him out of trouble… at least enough to keep him alive. At the age of sixteen, T.K. was propelled into stardom and with the grief and anger still very much alive within him, he began to use drugs, alcohol, and one-night stands to cope. As one of the most popular pop stars alive, T.K. has been accustomed to screaming masses and fanatical adoration but his manager, Judd, and best friend, Marjan, seem to think T.K. needs someone to look after him. T.K. doesn’t want another bodyguard, not after the series of uptight tightwads he’s had, but when he’s introduced to buff, sweetly handsome Carlos Reyes, T.K. begrudgingly decides that he can put up with a little eye candy hanging around (but it’s not because he needs someone to look after him, definitely not…)

T.K.

“I don’t need a bodyguard,” T.K. refuted, petulantly crossing his arms over his chest, but Judd gave him a sharp “don’t argue with me” look. The look usually didn’t go very far. After all, arguing was one of T.K.’s favorite hobbies. Though, he rarely took arguments too seriously. Mostly, they were just for sport, but this time T.K. knew to shut up, at least while Judd lectured him.

“Come on, this is my job to look after you. Let me do it.” Judd adjusted his wristwatch, still not used to the heavy metal Rolex that Grace had gotten him. She’d told him maybe it would him look like an actual manager because looking at Judd, you’d pick a barista from Starbucks as the talent manager over Judd.

Judd’s flannel shirt and blue jeans set him apart from not just other managers but also most of LA. Originally from Texas, Judd may have been a high-profile entertainment manager, but he wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a suit to work. If you squinted, you might mistake him for a hipster, but Judd would snarl if anyone ever called him that (he had no beard or weird coffee). Lumberjack would be less offensive (again, no beard or no ax). Cowboy would be better than redneck. He might even take cowboy with pride.

While he was still very much a Texan at heart, Judd had followed his wife, Grace, out to LA so she could chase her dream of being an actress. Considering that Grace Ryder was going to be in what could be the summer’s big blockbuster, the move had paid off and things were going well for the Ryders. T.K. was just relieved that for the last five years he’d had Judd on his side. It was good to have someone who cared, even if T.K. was still a fuck up (because that was inevitable).

His former manager, Misty, had been a robotic woman who cared more about her pantsuits than her clients. At sixteen, he’d signed on with her, and from the start, she’d wanted more than T.K. was willing to give. Albums, tours, books, perfume lines, signings— she’d wanted him to do it all, but T.K. never got a moment of rest. She manipulated him and used all his youthful optimism against him. At first, it had been fun, but then it was just exhausting. Misty had cracked T.K., and she had made music a chore, but it wasn’t like T.K. knew anything else. He felt trapped. He wanted to love music again, but he knew he couldn’t do that with Misty breathing down his neck. Misty wasn’t evil. T.K. had good times with her even if he couldn’t keep up with her demands. She’d helped him start his career. She’d taken a chance on him. Nevertheless, she wasn’t good for him. She was too concerned about her own desires to pay proper attention to his. He needed someone who saw him as an actual person rather than a problem.

Now, Judd had the unenviable job of trying to piece a broken kid back together, but Judd didn’t seem too dismayed by the task. He’d been doing it for five years, after all. T.K. had come to Judd after a long search for the perfect manager, and it had been a cosmically right fit. Marjan Marwani, T.K.’s best friend, had actually been the one who had found Judd, and she still held it over his head that she had found him the best manager on the planet. He really loved his best friend even if she liked to taunt him mercilessly.  

In the time that he had been T.K.’s manager, Judd had been patient with T.K. He worked so hard to keep T.K. vaguely functional. Judd actually cared for some reason. Unlike Misty, Judd wasn’t the kind of manager in it for the money. He’d even suggested that T.K. take a break whereas other managers would have tried to keep their top-earning talent working as much as possible. Judd wouldn’t care if he didn’t get another dime from T.K., but T.K. was too stubborn and too lost to take time from the spotlight. He needed music in his life.

“All celebrities of your caliber use bodyguards,” Judd explained, his accent muted slightly by LA influences. When he went home to Austin, Judd’s voice always reverted to its original sound just like T.K. always sounded most like a New Yorker when he was in New York. “It’s a security risk to let you go running around alone. I know you like your independence, but when you have as many fans as you do, things are bound to get out of control.” T.K. suspected Judd was less worried about fans than T.K.’s behavior.

“Yeah, and I’ve had fifteen bodyguards in the past six months alone. I think that’s quite enough.” The last thing T.K. needed was another big slab of man following him around with a faintly disapproving look. His former bodyguards all tried and failed to keep a neutral expression when they worked for him. They’d been discreet, but he could always see the way their eyebrows scrunched, and lips pushed together with a nearly inaudible grunt. Even when he was drunk and higher than the moon, T.K. could see the disdain or, worse, the pity, in their eyes. He was just another teenage star turned adult fuck up. He wore the badge as proudly as he could even though he hated himself for becoming an out of control stranger.

“You know I’m not happy with your revolving door of bodyguards. It’s a major hassle, but I’d rather hunt down schmucks willing to deal with you than for you to get into trouble. Believe it or not, I prefer you alive.” T.K.’s heart flipped at the sentiment, and for whatever reason, he felt touched. The warm feeling sent a surge of anxiety through his body because somewhere along the line he’d learned concern was dangerous. He fidgeted in his seat, trying to retain his cool demeanor.  

T.K. rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Dad,” he said before he could think. The joke scratched against T.K.’s tongue like sandpaper. He hadn’t used the word dad in… well, he couldn’t even remember how long. Since his dad had died, T.K. had always the term father to refer to all dads. Dad was too personal, so he usually saved that word only for use with his own father, whose memory had become terrifyingly blurry in T.K.’s mind.

Judd grunted, an affectionate, slightly exasperated grunt. You could tell a lot about Judd’s mood based on his grunt. Grace always joked that he had a language composed all of grunts. “Someone has to look out for you.” Because your dad is dead.

“I don’t want to be protected,” especially not by his big brother of a manager.

“Yeah, well I can’t trust you to quit your self-destructive shit. Sometimes I wonder…” Judd trailed off shaking his head. His voice had quivered, softer and more hesitant.

“What? Wonder what?” He was already starting to feel defensive.

“Never mind, kid. It doesn’t matter.” Judd bit his bottom lip, knowing that he had almost said too much. His eyes were concerned, which made T.K. feel angry more than loved. He didn’t like when Judd tried to give him “much needed guidance.”

“No, tell me, what is it?” T.K. hated being coddled and kept out of the loop even if it was for his own good.

Judd looked at the picture of Grace on his desk. Emotions were more her thing. She’d be much better at this, but T.K. was worth making the effort when need be. “It’s not something you’d want to hear.”

“I don’t care. Tell me.”

Judd sighed, worrying that this thought would do more harm than good, but it had been growing in his mind for a while. He took a deep breath. “Sometimes I wonder if it doesn’t matter to you if you live or die.” T.K. eyes shot up to meet Judd’s. He wasn’t sure where this conversation was headed, but he didn’t like it. Yet, he couldn’t retreat from it because he’d been the one to press Judd to tell him what he was thinking.

“I’m not suicidal.” It wasn’t like he was going to jump off a bridge or something. “I wouldn’t try to kill myself if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Maybe not. I’m not exactly the best person to talk about all this stuff but seems to me that you wouldn’t mind dying if it happened to you.”

“That doesn’t make sense, Judd,” but it did. T.K. knew exactly what Judd meant, and it scared him how close to the truth Judd was.

“I just think that it doesn’t scare you that one night you could overdose, and I think you’re playin’ Russian roulette with your life, half-hoping that maybe you won’t get lucky.”

“Psychoanalyzing is for shrinks.”

“Yeah, I know, but it can’t be healthy to be so unconcerned about your own mortality.”

“There wouldn’t be much I could do about it if I died, so I don’t bother worrying about it.” T.K. thought about death sometimes. He’d even imagined himself dying, but it wasn’t in a weird way he didn’t think. Everyone thought about it. Him maybe more than others.

“No, I guess not, but I’m just saying that it seems to me you’d be okay if it just ended, relieved even.”

“Not to get nihilistic or whatever, but there’s not much to live for is there? But it’s just like going to work. Each day, you just gotta do it.” Life, even the glamorous life of a superstar, could be a monotonous jumble of highs and lows, but T.K. had learned that there wasn’t much he could do about it. He had to keep trudging along even if he didn’t know where to or why.

“Man, I don’t know what to say to that, but I think you’ve got it all wrong. Life isn’t that grim.”

T.K. backtracked. “I didn’t mean to suggest it was. It isn’t all bad, really. It’s not like I always hate it or anything. I do have fun. I have my pick of men, and I get invited to lots of parties.” T.K. smirked. “I’m sure you’ve seen some of the viral videos.”

“Getting so wasted you can’t remember how many fingers you have ain’t fun.”

“You’re just lucky none of my sex tapes have been leaked, but let me tell you, they’d do real well on Pornhub.”

“Keep those to yourself. The ‘I only have six fingers’ video was enough of a nightmare.” It should have been humiliating, but T.K. had just laughed when it had come out. His management team had been clucking like hens, but something so silly wasn’t worth all that headache, so T.K. just reminded that everything that happened to him was one big cosmic joke.

“I don’t even remember that night honestly, but that’s the fun of it, Judd—forgetting all the things you normally have to remember.”

“Yeah, well, how ‘bout trying to remember a little more.  You’ll forget yourself if you’re not careful.”

“As long as I don’t forget how to carry a tune, I think I’ll be okay.” As long as he could still got on the stage and do his job, he’d be fine.

“You’re more than a singer.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be. Life would be so much better if you only had to be one thing.”

“I want you to slow down on the partying.”

T.K. laughed. “And you think a bodyguard can help me with that? Yeah, right.” T.K. didn’t believe he needed a bodyguard at all. He was a big boy, and he wasn’t going to wilt just because a crowd gathered trying to get his attention or he drank a little too much. Bodyguards were basically just pieces of furniture who turn into stone walls when danger struck.

“He’ll make sure you make it out in one piece. I’ve picked a great guy.”

“That’s what you always say.”

“I mean it with this one.”

T.K. exhaled, still not thrilled about the idea of having someone follow him around. “What’s his name?”

“Carlos Reyes, and I think he’s just your type.”

“My type?”

“Trust me. He’s the kind of guy you’d like. He’ll keep up with you.”

“Oh yeah? Another bald forty-year-old? You know that those Mr. Clean types really get me going. It would be really hot to see my reflection on one of their shiny heads. Narcissistic goals.”

“You better bet careful, T.K. One of these days someone will think you’re serious.”

“I am. That dude three, no four, bodyguards ago took me way too serious. I think he actually thought I was into him.”

“I think Aaron quit just because you kept calling him a sexy Mr. Clean.” Judd shook his head, smiling a little.

“I think that guy’s suit was glued to his body. He didn’t even try to fit in. Bodyguards should be discreet. Plus, I got homophobic vibes from him. Like the kind of guy who will say he’s fine with gay people but then ask who’s the woman in the relationship.”

“The new guy isn’t like that.”

“So, if he’s not like Mr. Clean, what is he like? Hot? Eighty years-old? An actual robot?”

Judd gestures a zip across his lips. “You’ll see his pretty face soon, Rockstar. He starts tomorrow.”

“Maybe give me a week. I need some me time before I’m shackled to a piece of meat. ”

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Judd was decisive, “But no, you cannot have a week. I’ve already told him he could start tomorrow.” He left no room for arguments.

“Fine.” T.K. stood up from his chair, letting it teeter unsteadily with the force of him pushing it out behind him. The chair settled, all four legs back on the ground. T.K. took a breath. “I guess I better enjoy tonight, then, before this guy comes in to try to tame me.” T.K. winked. “Many men have tried. Very few have succeeded. Like Miley Cyrus would say, ‘I can’t be tamed.’”

“Don’t tell me you want to get on a wrecking ball for your next video?”

He shook his head. “That’s not controversial enough for my taste. Full frontal nudity or nothing. The wrecking ball would just get in the way.”

Judd didn’t feed into T.K.’s joke. He gave T.K. a firm look. “You’ll call me if you need a ride home?” Judd had long ago made it clear that he was always available if T.K. needed him, no questions asked. T.K. had never taken him up on that offer.

“I’m not the kind of fuck up who crashes his hundred-thousand-dollar car. I know to hire a driver if I’m going to drink,” among other things, “or I’m sure I’ll find a nice young man to take me home. Or old. I’m not that picky.”

Judd gave him a disapproving look because T.K. liked to jump in bed with people who didn’t give a damn about his wellbeing. “That’s what I’m worried about. One of these days the young man, or old one, won’t be so nice.”

T.K. liked that thought. Good guys weren’t his thing, after all. Sweet guys were cute, but they always seemed unobtainable, especially with how much T.K. expected of his men. He liked them tough, sometimes even mean. He liked to watch them fight for dominance. He liked to watch them puff their chests and try to pin him down. He liked to roll them over and tease them with his lips and tongue. He liked to give in just as much as he liked to resist. “Even better.”

[ayellowbirds]

Fifth night of writing! Up to 8985 words, thanks to a burst of writing when i really should have been already asleep. Four kids with letters for names face consequences.

Be advised that this part focuses on feelings of dysphoria in a young egg! 

i’m currently only able to work for 14 hours a week; donations to support this are welcome! Feel free to let me know when you’ve donated, I’ll see about including a tribute of some sort to you in the text of the story:

https://www.paypal.me/ayellowbirds

https://ko-fi.com/ayellowbirds

As always, keep track of the tag for updates!

(logo fonts are Bradley Gratis and Yiddishkeit Bold)

Click the Read More to continue, or click here for the previous part, and here for the first part!

And so it was that they sat in front of Captain Tserac, feeling both physically and emotionally in the pits.

“The four of you,” Tserac intoned, pale, watery eyes looking down at them from a gaunt face tinged slightly blue, “have been very fortunate indeed. Tell me, do you recall how it is that you became trainees here?”

“In recognition of our excellent academic and physical performance in our studies at the Imperial Children’s Home,” intoned J., repeating a line they’d heard many times, the first a mere three years ago when the letters of selection had arrived.

“Just so,” Tserac nodded, taking a sip of for a glass of medicated soda water. The stuff was favored among Icosan citizens, and strictly regulated by laws forbidding its sale or consumption by anyone except full-blooded Icosans* certified by the Imperial Bureau of Statistics. “And do you recall to what purpose you are receiving training?”

* The official reason being that Icosans possessed a natural physiognomy that allowed them to consume the drink without “succumbing to rambunctious and licentious behavior”. The real reason was that the alchemically treated silver solutions in the beverage were the source of the side effects that caused habitual drinkers to develop a bluish-gray skin tone, which had become fashionable amongst the Icarian elite a generation back. It simply wouldn’t do for any Icarian citizens except Icosans to be able to display such hallmarks of good taste and breeding.

“To contribute to the betterment of society and ensure the freedom of all citizens by removing subversive elements and rooting out the evil of anarchism and preventing inchoate sedition,” offered N. this time, again a verbatim repetition.

“And for what reason, hm?” asked Tserac, licking his thin lips as he finished his drink. He looked to B. This was the routine: questions in a series of four, with the expectation that each row being questioned would answer in reverse order. It was typical—but not always the case—that the most challenging question be directed at the leader of the row.

Thus, B. answered: “in order to repay the kindness shown by the Emperor himself in securing a home and an education for us after our discovery as foundlings.”

V. heard a twinge of pain in her voice. Most of the children from the ICF had some measure of sadness about their status as orphans, though a few weathered it well enough that it wasn’t obvious. They didn’t lack for anything, and had seen on educational and holiday trips how rough it could be even for children with families of their own, without the Emperor’s blessing. That said, it seemed like a particularly sore subject with B.

But Tserac seemed satisfied by this. “So you understand. And make no mistake, you are receiving an education here that is the envy of citizens fully twice your age, particularly those in the military academies. Why, I myself was not so fortunate as to have the caliber of training you receive in your physical education.”

As he said this, Tserac made a point of brushing off the medals on his breast. Although his rank was officially ‘Captain’, it was understood by all the trainees and officials alike that Thasgeril Tserac held far higher status. After all, he was considered by the Imperial Army to be the one suitable for overseeing their training. And V. had felt on more than one occasion that the bony old man seemed to be a bit too quick to dodge stray bits from food fights, avoid soapy floors in the midst of being scrubbed, and take notice of  trainees hiding where they ought not to be.

“Which is precisely why the four of you need to pay more attention in your lessons,” Tserac continued, now turning his gaze to V. “When I was a cadet myself, I daren’t think I would have been caught doing something so unseemly as raiding a secret stash of candies when I was meant to be studying. Don’t you think so, Mr. V.? I should expect—”

It wasn’t a rhetorical question, and Tserac expected an answer. He was saying more, but all that V. could hear was the sound of blood rushing, heartbeat pumping. It didn’t make much sense that something so simple could be so rattling.

It wasn’t just that Tserac twisted the pronunciation of the letter of V.’s name—being foundlings without any known surname or given name, they had each been assigned a letter† from the Stafroph, the revered Icarian Alphabet established by the Immortal Emperor Earsil himself in his youth—turning what everyone else read as the letter “Uht” or “Vuht” into “Hwot”, insisting on applying his frustratingly Icosan accent to the sound.

† V. was, in point of fact, V.5, the youngest V out of the precisely one hundred orphans at the Imperial Children’s Home, and younger than the rest of Row Four by a solid year. 

It wasn’t just the inexplicable way that he emphasized “Mr.”, either. V. couldn’t explain why that title was so upsetting, why it felt the same way that being called “young man” or “boy” or “he” did, while all of those threw everything off stride. After all, V. was born a boy, so that all just made sense as the way to refer to… him, right?

V. managed to blurt out an answer that seemed to satisfy Tserac, who offered a wide, thin smile in response.

“Excellent,” he said, so snappily and formally, so much in that ‘at attention’ voice, that V.’s spine straightened on impulse. The old Icosan pulled out his pocketwatch, not actually looking at its face. “The four of you are to report to the Witching Hall. There is a special review that you are required to attend, and I should expect you will be pleased with the results. Afterwards, we shall find some means of exercising your taste for adventure with additional training and chores—but time is slipping away, and there is a schedule to keep to for the time being. Row Four, dismissed.”

Before V. fully realized what was happening, the four of them were out the door and rushing down the passages to the Witching Hall. Clarity came soon enough to realize that Chief Nurse Eciurtal was passing in the opposite direction, looking very frustrated about something and focusing on Tserac’s door.

“Children,” she greeted them, and all four saluted without stopping.

“I can’t believe that’s all we got away with,” N. gasped, fussing with her hair. The tight blonde coils had gotten out of place at some point, and she was trying to put them back into  a bun while keeping up with the others.

“Well, maybe he figures this sick feeling is enough punishment,” V. suggested, but something felt off about that. Sweat dripped down… his brow. V. swept it back, slicking red locks into an upward sweep. Maybe it was just the usual weird discomfort. Something to talk to the nurses about, maybe? It was getting harder to ignore, lately.

“You think so?” B. asked, with the kind of expression that suggested she had some notion what the reason was, or—more likely, in V.’s opinion—wanted them all to think that she did.

“Well, I can’t think of anything aside from that and that he wants us to try harder not to be caught, and was trying to tell us that the whole reason we’re here is to become better at sneaking into places we’re not supposed to be,” guessed J., sounding far away in thought.

They scrambled down the stairs in silence, turning the corner to the walkway that led to the Witching Hall. It was only once they got into the fresh air in sight of the entryway where the other rows were milling about that all but one of them slowed, J. running ahead for a moment before noticing and turning back.

“You think that’s it?” asked N.

V. turned to look out over the edge of the walkway, considering the idea. “I wouldn’t put it past the Captain.”

Far below, the grays and greens of western Dembenklion gave way to the smaller state of Charnozam, all fertile black earth checked with the green of farmlands and the shining slickness of as-yet undrained swamps. The wind whipped around the walkway, and birds flew underneath. Being up in The Mountain afforded quite the view of the world, and the instructors were fond of talking about that in grand metaphorical ways.

Suddenly, V. felt like maybe there were more important things to focus on than a little inexplicable discomfort.

Twenty-six minutes later, V. felt very differently.

THE PRESENT DAY

“I really can’t thank you enough for bringing this particular shipment,” Menax said between mouthfuls of pickle. While it made for a convenient cover, Belaset’s crate of ‘pickles’ was in fact part of one of the other ways she earned a living, making deliveries for a local factory. The cucumbers that had provided camouflage for the true nature of Menax’s delivery were genuinely good.

In spite of that, Belaset cringed. “I don’t know how you can stomach those, considering.”

Menax looked at the pickle, and back at Belaset. “Well, it’s not as though they were touching anything. But if this business is too sour for your tastes, I have something—or rather, a couple somethings, that are a bit sweeter.”

The trio were back up in Menax’s kitchen, where Musick had been enjoying a bit more of the doctor’s cooking. Belaset had found space in a corner—managing to fill it entirely, in spite of having easily found her way downstairs into the comparatively small space of the secret cellar. She had the broadsheet in one hand, and had been practicing reading it. Menax found that he rather enjoyed the sound of her efforts at literacy, a recent pursuit that he strongly encouraged since she had become his regular employee.

He made his way over to a small desk beside his icebox, from which he produced an envelope, waving it at Belaset. “Your payment.”

Belaset smiled, and then grinned even broader at him as Menax reached into his vest pocket and produced another few bills, adding, “plus a bonus for the, ah, exceptional quality of this shipment.”

Outside of the cellar, he never spoke openly of the true nature of their business. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t compensate her fairly. He passed the envelope and additional bills to Belaset, who took them out and counted. The standard twenty-five dollars, plus a bonus of five. Equivalent to a week and a half’s pay at a decent hourly rate in more mundane labor, with the way inflation was at the time.

And then there was the other bonus. He turned back not to the desk, but to the icebox, and opened it in search of a particular treasure within it. He pulled out a large, spiny object from which several stiff leaves projected. Were it not for the leaves, one might have mistaken it for the egg of some great reptile or terrible monstrous bird, but it was something far more special than all of that.

“Either of you ever see one of these?” he asked Belaset and Musick both, as he brought the strange object over to the cutting board, setting it down as he fished around the kitchen drawers in search of a suitable knife. Settling on a long knife with a good point, he set it at just the right level. It had been a few years since he’d done this, though once he had the blade in position, he could already feel the right way to cut. “It’s a fruit from the island, called an ananas, though the Icosans insist for some reason on calling it a ‘pineapple’. I suppose it looks enough like a pinecone at first, but—”

He began chopping off parts, starting with the top and bottom before spearing the whole fruit on the blade and coring it with a twist of his wrist. He gave it a thump, sliding out the core so that it fell neatly into the sink, before spinning the ananas around and cutting off the sides, taking care not to remove his own fingers along with the thorny exterior and leaves. Finally, he set the now vivid yellow fruit on its side, and began cutting it into discs—rings, really—and laying them out in a row across the cutting board. He speared one of the largest ones on the end of the knife, and with another flick of his wrist, threw it across the room to Belaset.

She caught it, gave it a close look and a sniff, and slid the whole ring into her mouth, chewing tentatively. “Mmm!” was all she could manage.

“Isn’t it?” Menax laughed, cutting several pieces on a plate to bring over to Musick. “I used to get them more often, one of my classmates came from a family in the business of importing fruit.”

“I never heard of it,” his landlady said, licking at the plate first, and then planting her face into it to gobble up the chunks of sweet, juicy fruit.

[karaokeadvice]

Karaoke Review: The Request Room, Northampton, MA

This week we kick off a new feature here at Karaoke Advice: Karaoke Review! We’ll be running reviews of all the places we as karaoke fans go to sing and listen to karaoke! This week dear friend and fellow karaoke connoisseur Tim Hulsizer introduces us to The Request Room of Northampton, MA. I (Karen) LIVE IN Northampton and didn’t know this kind of beautiful, kind of weird place existed until Tim clued me in. Now he’s gonna clue you in, too. Do you have a karaoke establishment you’d like to review for Karaoke Advice? Get in touch!

Deep in the urban wilds of Western Massachusetts sits the 28,000-person hamlet of Northampton, a cultural cornucopia of artists, merchants, multicultural restaurateurs, and an Urban Outfitters shoved into an old building that looks like it used to be a Post Office. [Editor’s note: It was a bank!] And I’d be remiss if I forgot to mention the music scene. A plethora of clubs and theaters dot the downtown of this charming little city and musicians of every caliber pass through here when they’re in New England.

Above one such venue lies a secret karaoke hotspot that few know exists: The Request Room. According to an article published in 2017, The Request Room began as a live piano karaoke party streamed online on Tuesday nights, a chance for organizer Josh Sitron to take live requests from Facebook and try to perform them with friends in his studio “13 Queen” above the Calvin Theatre. Eventually that fell by the wayside but the occasional Thursday and Saturday evening karaoke sessions remain. Now a Members Only happening, one must be introduced to the Request Room by a friend before you can start showing up on your own. It’s barely a step away from open admission but keeps the atmosphere friendly, as though you’re in the living room at a party, just as he intended it all along.

It’s this atmosphere that keeps me coming back to Request Room. If schedules allow, a few of us from southern NH will pile into the car and attend together, paying the sliding scale entrance donation of $5 or $10 depending on what we can afford. We always know we’ll see mostly familiar faces, some known from an area choir called Rock Voices, some met through the Request Room itself. Occasional emails announce which Thursday or Saturday it will be happening that week.

There are voices so sweet they must surely be professionals and, like any good karaoke experience, there are mediocre talents like myself. There are a few retired people. An occasional college student appears. There’s even a local lawyer with a dead-on Mick Jagger impression that’s always a delight to watch. You can bring water in but food is strictly prohibited. Beer, cider and wine are available for a $5 donation per drink. With the summer heating up, air conditioning has become available and by popular demand they’ve added a few extra seating options.

An evening at the Request Room is as relaxing or energetic as you care to make it. The lighting is low and the space isn’t large enough for more than a couple dozen people. When the drinks start flowing the conversation gets livelier but the age of the crowd trends higher than most karaoke experiences so you probably won’t be getting into any fisticuffs at 13 Queen.

You couldn’t ask for a friendlier, more talented host than Josh. Quick with a quip or a clever musical flourish, this master of the keys can play nearly anything you throw at him. Perhaps the most exciting aspect of the place is how open your choice of song is. If the internet has the tabs someplace [the musical tablature, a/k/a chords and lyrics], Josh will attempt it for you. If he isn’t familiar with something he may look up the official song and listen for a few seconds to get the rhythm and tempo, then it’s off to the races.

When people are in the mood, the songs can be as simple as “Sweet Caroline” or “Hit Me With Your Best Shot,” just like you’d hear in any American karaoke bar. But there are also nights where a quieter, more esoteric mood takes hold and you’ll find someone singing an album track by Emmylou Harris or an old favorite from Lucinda Williams. This world of possibilities has given me the chance to sing songs I never thought would happen at karaoke, like Britpop hits that never got to America and indie rock tunes that were never a hit in the first place. It’s a real thrill to sing that unknown song you’ve always adored to a supportive crowd of friends old and new.

This brings me to a couple of...well, not negatives, per se, but let’s call them Things You Should Know. The first is that you will occasionally have evenings at the Request Room where you wish somebody would break up the mood with something a bit more rocking. It’s the nature of the beast; piano doesn’t generally lend itself to a Black Sabbath song as much as it does a Jackson Browne or Adele ballad. I recall a recent evening where we were noticing this and when my friend got on the mic she blurted out, “You’re all bumming me out tonight!”

The second thing is knowing where you are in the batting order. There’s a sign-up sheet each night but it’s in the back of the room and isn’t adhered to particularly strictly. There isn’t really a space to have it sit by the piano and Josh isn’t the type of guy to holler out the next name anyway. It goes against the charming atmosphere he’s worked so hard to create. The list is mainly adhered to on the honor system but never completely so someone who really wants their next song may jump on the mic at any moment. Most people don’t care and the rest of us don’t want to be the jerk who tattles on them. It’s a little thing but I can’t deny being a bit frustrated sometimes.

Oh, and by the way: the first time you sing, there’s a good chance you’re going to be terrible. If you’ve never worked with live accompaniment, it takes a few tries to adapt to the process. Do you lead Josh or let him lead you? Is he going to play that instrumental break the same way you’ve heard it on the studio recording or not? Just keep showing up and once you learn the ropes, you’ll be surprised at how well it goes the next time. More so than any other karaoke experience, you’ll get out of the Request Room what you put into it. Sing on, my friends.

If you’d like to join us for mirth, music, madness and memories at The Request Room, let us know and we’ll pass along your email address to the esteemed Josh Sitron and MAKE IT HAPPEN!

[jonathanvik]

Starlight Dream - Chapter 7

“Okay, what should we watch first?” Seina’s friend, Aiko, placed a collection of DVDs on the bed.

Takako sat in her pajamas on the other side of the bed they shared, arms crossed. She wondered how Seina even convinced her into participating in this ridiculous slumber party. Her eyes scanned the room, noticing the enormous stuffed animal collection her enemy had accumulated. Many were in rough shape, but Seina had put considerable effort into restoring them. Some were even of her own creation. While crude, the girl constructed them with a considerable amount of love. Takako spotted a sewing machine sitting in the corner.

“Let’s see.” Seina’s eyes scanned the random assortment of titles. Some were anime. While others were foreign films translated into Japanese. Seina’s eyes avoided anything that was horror-based, which Takako noted for later.

After scanning the titles twice, Seina nodded, picking one from the pile. “This looks super cute!” It showed a young girl with an umbrella standing next to a weird giant cat thing.

“No way! What’s with your obsession with cute things? How childish.” Takako said, unable to withhold her opinion any further. She picked a different title from the pile. It showed a picture of two scary-looking monsters fighting each other.

“What’s wrong with liking cute things?” Seina puffed out her chest.

Takako only rolled her eyes at such a childish opinion, but Colten, Seina’s fairy partner, looked thoughtful. “I suppose that isn’t surprising considering your past.”

“Her past?” Takako replied, blinking in confusion.

Seina’s expression turned painful. “Yeah, the vampire running my group enjoyed making our lives miserable, destroying anything he considered cute or beautiful. He once had me whipped for making a doll.”

“What?” Takako’s breath caught in her throat, unable to believe what she’d just heard.

“Yeah, ten lashes,” Seina replied, nodding. “It hurt so much I couldn’t sleep for days.”

Takako gaped at the girl, unable to push such a horrible image out of her mind. That’s what the ex-vampire lords did to people?

Her magical girl rival’s expressions quickly shifted into a forced smile. “But that’s ancient history! We’ve beaten the vampires for good! Besides, I actually got off easy. He could have executed me.” Seina said with shocking casualness.

Aiko smirked. “The poor idiot. He doomed his entire species!” Seina, Colten, and Aiko shared a laugh about this.

“The taskmaster of my group was a real jerk, too. He enjoyed randomly depriving us of food rations. We wondered every day whether we’d even get fed.” Aiko looked towards Takako, studying her. “I’m surprised this shocks you so much. It was pretty standard from what I understand. Did you have a nicer taskmaster or something, Maeko?”

“No! Mine was a real jerk as well!” Takako said a bit too quickly. “I’d rather not talk about it. It wasn’t great.” Much to Takako’s relief, the two girls nodded. They didn’t press their new friend further on her fake history.

“I understand,” Seina replied, putting a comforting hand on Takako’s own. “But if you ever want to talk about it, we’re here. I find speaking about it helps.”

Takako forced her own smile. “Right.” Still, she couldn’t suppress her horror. She hated the haunted look in Seina’s eyes. How much horror had this ten-year-old girl suffered through?

And I’m working with those people. Her mind flashed back to the vampire queen bragging about returning her kind to their former glory. Takako shook her head, considering such thoughts foolish for a magical girl. Such sentimentality was a weakness! Besides, Takako was a bad girl, completely heartless. Caring about such nonsense was beyond her.

She coughed, eager to change the subject, grabbing the DVD Seina had picked. “On second thought, let’s watch it! It looks good.”

“Yes!” Seina beamed, placing the disc into the DVD player, forgetting their previous conversation, much to Takako’s relief.

Despite herself, Takako found herself charmed by the movie. Unfortunately, the disc had some serious scratches, stopping midway. Aiko declared she’d use her contacts to find another copy, so they could finish the final twenty minutes.

“Contacts?” Takako asked, bewildered. Wasn’t she a ten-year-old? Why would she have anything like that?

Aiko’s eyes glinted with triumph and mischief. “You underestimate my power. In this world, you can’t achieve anything unless you’re well connected. Besides, I have to support Seina somehow. I’m not strong, but I still have her back.”

“Right,” Takako replied, uncertain if the girl was making this up. “Anyway, how about this movie?” The cover depicted a woman in a white gown whose long stringy hair completely masked her face. A giant white ring surrounded her.

“Must we?” Seina’s voice became weak. “I don't like scary things.”

“You fight actual monsters!” Takako replied, incredulous.

“I know, it’s stupid. But, the characters in those movies don’t have my abilities. I don’t like watching them get hurt.” Seina’s voice trailed off.

Colten flipped in the air. “You’re so nice, Seina.”

Strange girl. Still, Takako hid a secret smile, glad she’d already discerned several of Seina’s weaknesses.

“That’s fine. I wasn’t in the mood for another movie, anyway.” Aiko turned her attention towards Takako. “Maeko? You haven’t suggested anything yet. You’ve been going along with whatever we’ve wanted.”

“Maeko?” Seina asked, getting Takako’s full attention.

“Right! I suppose that’s true!” Takako coughed in her fist, pretending she’d been spacing out. In reality, her fake name was still unfamiliar to her. If she wasn’t careful, they might get suspicious.

What do I want to do? Usually, she enjoyed curling up on a couch, reading manga in her spare time. Takako wasn’t a social creature, enjoying being alone. Other people were so lame. It’d been centuries since she’d hung out with anyone other than Nier. Much to her horror, Takako realized she looked like a deer caught in headlights, paralyzed by this simple question.

“Talk, I guess?” Takako faked a smile, hating her lame half-hearted answer.

“Oh, sure!” Seina said, nodding.

Aiko yawned. “Yeah, it’s getting late, anyway.”

“You know, Maeko,” Seina said, her eyes eager. “You have spoken little about yourself.”

Takako smirked. They’d prepared for this. The vampires had forced her to spend hours memorizing this backstory. That effort was about to pay off. With her expert acting skills, no one would ever suspect a thing.

“I’m no one special,” Takako replied. “I’m originally from Tokyo until we moved here. My father was a clerk before the vampire uprising. My mom was a housewife. They had us working in food processing before you defeated them all. My father got a job in Osaka, and we moved here. Tokyo is still in rough shape. My parents thought it would be safer living here. Like I said, not that exciting.”

Aiko nodded. “So that’s why you have a Tokyo accent. I was wondering about that.”

While powerful, Shinobu’s illusions couldn’t disguise Takako’s natural voice. Any attempt to fake an accent failed miserably. But with a slight shift in pitch, it changed her voice enough to sound different. It was an impressive feat even for her.

“So, why are you so acrobatic?” Seina asked. “I can’t imagine food processing would need such a high level of athleticism.”

“Yeah!” Aiko said, enthused. “I’ve seen nothing like it!”

“Well.” Takako faltered. While they’d devised many fake stories for her past, none of them covered something like this. Her mind raced as her audience watched her expectantly, eager to hear her answer.

“Well, you know. I’m just that good!” Takako replied, her voice smug. “I’m just very talented.” Try questioning that!

“So, you’ve been training on the side?” Seina asked, trying to understand her new friend’s response. “Food processing must have better hours. After the usual 78-hour workweek, I barely had enough energy to sleep.”

Aiko nodded. “Wow, Seina, you must have had a particularly cruel taskmaster. Mine only made me work 76!”

“Really?! I’m so jealous!” Seina replied. “Only 76? Boggles the mind.”

Takako waited for the girls to smile and tell her they were joking. Much to her horror, she realized they were serious. Even the hardest-pushed salarymen didn’t work that many hours. The vampires made ten-year-olds work those hours?

She examined the two girls closer, horrified by what she saw. Both looked dangerously thin and unhealthy, with pale skin and bags under their eyes. Two weeks of better food and freedom had only slightly improved their condition. Takako recoiled in disgust. Her mind returned to the other citizenry she’d seen, recalling their similarly poor condition.

“How about you, Maeko? How many hours did you work?” Aiko asked, returning her attention back towards Takako.

Takako found herself lost for words for several moments. What was wrong with her? After a deep breath, she regained her confidence. Takako Kodama was a magical girl of the highest caliber, unshakable and evil to the core.

“70. Such long hours weren't necessary in food processing.” A light flashed into her head, providing inspiration. “I’m so athletic because the higher-ups enjoyed some entertainment. If I performed well for them, they provided us with extra food rations.”

“Wow, lucky!” Both girls cooed in amazement.

“I guess some vampires have half of a heart after all?” Colten said.

Takako coughed. “It’s getting late. How about we get to bed? Don’t we need to wake up at 6 this morning?” She had no desire to hear more about their horrible life before Seina became a magical girl.

Seina sighed and yawned. “That’s true. I’m still not used to these 8 hour nights.”

“I know, right!” Aiko replied, nodding.

“Night!” Takako quickly switched off the room’s light. Why was everything in Seina’s old life so horrible? The girl didn’t even mind waking up before dawn. It was beyond inhuman!

Takako facepalmed, realizing she’d agreed to wake that early too. I really hate this assignment. I should be back in Starlight Dream playing video games!

“Night!” Seina said, snuggling up with Colten next to Takako.

“Night!” Aiko said from the bed’s far end.

“Night,” Takako replied with little enthusiasm.

The other two girls fell asleep almost instantly, leaving a wide-eyed, restless Takako alone with her thoughts. She replayed the conversion in her head, realizing she’d learned more about her foe than she ever desired. The girl was too open about her past. Didn’t she realize how uncool that was? She couldn’t help but remark how different from the other magical girls Seina was. Not just her kindness, she also radiated a light the others didn’t.

What are you, Seina Kamiyama? Terrible past aside, you’re just an ordinary girl. You have no training or skill, yet power radiates from you, bursting at the seams. These questions troubled Takako deep into the night.

---

Maeko snorted, proud of herself, reaching the finish line first. “Is that all you’ve got, Seina?”

“This isn’t a competition, Maeko,” Seina replied, panting as she met the stopping point.

Besides martial arts, Mr. Kiyojiro had ordered other physical training. The bodyguard wanted to give them more well-rounded physical capabilities. Seina hated every moment. Maeko, however, seemed to relish in it, especially whenever she beat her so-called rival. Her friend couldn’t help but gloat whenever she won. Despite herself, Seina resisted the urge to transform and humble the proud girl. No, that wouldn’t be fair. She’d win through her own efforts.

“Ugh, so close!” Colten said.

Mr. Kiyojiro looked at his stopwatch and nodded. “You’re doing much better, Seina. Good work.”

“Indeed, give it a few years, and you’ll be capable of matching me,” Maeko said.

What’s with this girl, anyway? Still, despite Maeko’s over-competitiveness, Seina had enjoyed the girl’s company the last few days. They had more in common than Seina had expected. She enjoyed reading the manga her new friend brought her. They shared a surprising interest in sports manga. Seina particularly enjoyed the one about the boy playing basketball. She found it endearing how hard he worked to earn his crush’s affections by learning the sport. She just hoped the oblivious girl would notice and appreciate his efforts. Love was complicated. Hopefully, her future romantic prospects would be easier.

Oh, it won’t be. Seina’s mood plummeted, remembering, as a magical girl, she didn’t age. It was something she avoided thinking about. It was probably easier for the evil magical girls. But Seina was an ordinary girl with actual aspirations for her life. What would her future be like? Fighting monsters forever alone with no one else, friends or boyfriend? Some future.

No, don’t think like that! You’re a smart girl! You figure out some solution to your not aging problem. Besides, love was never off the table! Seina laughed to herself, glad she’d resolved that particular issue.

“Again.” Mr. Kiyojiro said, thankfully pulling her away from her dark thoughts. For once, she welcomed the hard physical labor, providing an excellent distraction.

---

“You really seem to enjoy this Maeko,” Aiko said as they exited the dojo.

“What can I say? When you’re good, you’re good.” Takako smirked. While she had a reputation as a lazy layabout amongst the magical girls, she worked hard when motivated.

“Sure, sure.” Seina rolled her eyes. “See you tomorrow.”

“Night.” She waved goodbye, heading back towards Lilha’s apartment. It was a dump, and Takako hated living in the cramped place. While tempted to ask for another sleepover, she decided against it, considering it too presumptuous. She couldn’t allow her rival to become suspicious. Besides, it would give the impression of a clingy girl with no other friends.

“How’d the training go?” Nier asked as Takako entered the apartment, slinging herself onto the couch. “You look tired.”

“Yeah, Mr. Kiyojiro pushes us super hard. He’s serious about preparing her to fight against the other magical girls.” Her fairy companion became thoughtful.

“What’s the matter?” Takako asked.

“Can she be a threat, though? Her magical skills are a joke, but her physical power still makes her dangerous.” Neir paced for several moments before returning his attention to his partner. “What am I worried about? Without magic, she can’t beat any magical girls above your level. Their special abilities would make quick work of her.”

Takako placed her feet on the couch’s leg. “True enough. She’s still bothersome though.” She knew a magical girl capable of reversing vectors, any vectors. Seina’s mighty strength would be useless against her.

“Still though. It’s baffling that she’s so powerful.” Takako said. “It’s worth investigating. I doubt it’s Seina herself. She’s too ordinary to be anything special.”

“I know right,” Neir said. “Watch the fort for a while. I’m returning to Starlight Dream for some research. There’s an old archive no one really uses anymore. And I’ll talk with the other fairies to see if they’ve noticed any anomalies in their partners. It would be bad if someone more magically competent gained Seina’s strength.”

“So lame. You’re leaving me all alone.” For some reason, being separated from her fairy partner irked Takako’s stomach.

“It won’t be forever,” Nier replied, rolling his eyes. “But my gut tells me this is important.”

Takako waved a dismissive hand. “Go on. Good luck.” With a nod, Neir created a tiny portal in the air and vanished through it.

Fantastic. Until her fairy friend returned, Takako couldn’t leave this universe. Only fairies had the power to transport through the cracks between universes. She shrugged and tried to push aside her anxiety before opening the latest issue of Shonen Hop.

“Where’s your fairy friend?” Lilha asked, entering the living room still wearing her work clothes.

“Magical girl business.” The vampire queen waited for further explanation, but received none.

“Fine, this won’t interfere with your powers?” Lilha asked through clenched teeth.

“No.”

“Good, we’re accelerating the plan. Shinobu found an excellent location for our ambush. I’ve also found some extra muscle.” Lilha gestured to the muscular beast of a man behind her. “This name is Jertin. He’s the leader of the band of vampires I found in Ginza.”

“That magical girl has underestimated us.” Jertin clinched his enormous fist. “We will show her what true power is!”

Lilha giggled. “Yes, we will finally return to our perfect world!”

Takako’s mind returned to Seina’s description of the world ruled by vampires. The haunted look on the girl’s face returned unbidden.

Forget about it, Takako. You’re a magical girl. You exist to bring horror and despair! Takako lost her appetite to read her manga, placing it aside.

“Now be a useful girl and find Shinobu,” Lilha said. “We need him to stay with Jertin and his band for a few days. He needs to create a disguise to mask their presence. We can’t afford for Seina to catch wind of them.”

“Do it yourself. I don’t do errands.”

Lilha’s face twisted in hate in frustration. The queen had hated her from the day they first met. “Useless girl! Play your part! I worked too hard for the plan to fail now. You do nothing but read manga and lie around!”

She’s finally lashing out? That’s new. “I’m the only reason this plan will work,” Takako replied, reasonably. “Besides, I am working hard. I’m training with Seina, remember?”

“Yes, but we need to work together. What I’m asking isn’t tough.” While calmer, the vampire queen’s hostility still hadn’t vanished.

“You should obey the queen.” Jentin’s tone was acidic. “You’re not the only one training hard, little girl.”

“I’m going out.” Takako rose from her seat. The apartment’s atmosphere had become sour. Besides, with Neir gone, she had no reason to stay here. She’d never liked the vampires, anyway.

“What?!” Lilha said, outraged at being dismissed so easily. Takako disappeared out the door before she could utter another word.

What I’m I doing here? Takako stood in front of the Prime Minister’s apartment building. Two guards watched the entrance, but they gave her warm smiles, happy to see her.

“May I help you, Maeko?” A guard asked. “Did you forget something?”

“Um, no. I was wondering if Seina was interested in an impromptu sleepover!” Takako replied, inwardly wincing at how lame she sounded.

“I’ll go ask her.” The guard smiled and nodded, not finding this strange in the slightest, vanishing inside.

A moment later, Seina appeared alongside him with Colten on her shoulder. “Hey! You said something about a sleepover.”

“Yeah, things are lame back home. I was wondering if I could stay at your place,” Takako replied.

Seina studied her for several moments before nodding. “Sure. You’re always welcome!”

“Really?” Takako said, astonished. That was too easy.

“Sure. We’re friends, aren’t we? I’ll ask Mr. Kiyojiro if he can find us some ice cream!”

What is with this girl? But she didn’t protest as Seina took her by the arm, pulling her along inside. Takako wore a slight grin on her face.

[junker-town]

2021 NFL Mock Draft: Complete first round

Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images

A complete first-round Mock Draft following the end of the regular season.

With the regular season in the rear view mirror we now turn our attention to the NFL Draft. There’s still a lot unknown about the format it will take, how the scouting combine will proceed (if at all), or whether the world will be in a place where we can have people attend live. But outside of those unknowns we do know what order non-playoff teams will be drafting, and today we dive into who may be selected.

No. 1: Trevor Lawrence, QB, Clemson — Jacksonville Jaguars

The sweepstakes are over, the dust has settled, and the Jaguars have won the prize. Quarterback definitely isn’t Jacksonville’s biggest need, and Gardner Minshew has played pretty well in 2020, but chances like this don’t come along very often.

Lawrence is the most polished, lock No. 1 QB since Andrew Luck entered the league in 2012. The Clemson passer has proven he can work under pressure, make plays, and be the face of a franchise for years to come. The Jaguars are lucky.

No. 2: Penei Sewell, OT, Oregon — New York Jets

There was seemingly no doubt the Jets would end up with Trevor Lawrence for much of the season, but wins took them out of the No. 1 pick conversation. It’s temping to simply shuffle them down a peg and take the next best quarterback, but deep down I think New York know that just taking quarterbacks is like shuffling deck chairs on the Titanic.

Penei Sewell is a safe pick, and he’s ludicrously talented too. At the very least it’ll give the offense some support so they can determine if Sam Darnold has a future, or whether it’ll be time to cut bait in 2021.

No. 3: Devonta Smith, WR, Alabama — Miami Dolphins (via Texans)

The Dolphins are in one of the best positions in the NFL with a luxury almost nobody gets: Being a near-playoff team with a Top 3 pick. At this point Miami has its QB of the future, it has a solid base, now it’s time to get weapons.

Adding Devonta Smith is a dream come true. A receiver so good he’s Heisman worthy, with a history of working with Tua Tagovailoa. The handcuff is cute, but the pick makes too much sense. I think this is a piece of the puzzle that can really take the Dolphins to the next level.

No. 4: Justin Fields, QB, Ohio State — Atlanta Falcons

The Falcons have a lot of needs, especially in the secondary, but it’s important to realize all those comically blown leads also means this team is close as constructed. I don’t think Atlanta is really as bad as their record showed, so the smart move is to solidify the future.

Regime change is on the Falcons’ minds, but it doesn’t need to be immediate. Justin Fields could sit behind Matt Ryan for a year, get used to the NFL and get the development he needs to be ready to take over. It’s a great scenario for everyone involved, and getting a QB of this caliber without needing to trade is too good to pass up.

No. 5: Ja’Marr Chase, WR, LSU — Cincinnati Bengals

The Bengals would love to get Sewell or Smith in this spot, but the draft didn’t quite break for them. It’s not like this is a sob story though, because Ja’Marr Chase is a heck of a player who we know has chemistry with Joe Burrow.

Chase totaled 1,780 yards and 20 touchdowns with Burrow at LSU in 2019. A.J. Green is getting older (and growing weary of the rebuild), the Bengals need to upgrade their receiving corps, and need to get Burrow more help. This pick fits all those needs.

No. 6: Micah Parsons, LB, Penn State — Philadelphia Eagles

Photo by William Purnell/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Philadelphia needs help in a lot of areas, and while wide receiver might be the biggest area that needs improvement, I don’t have the mock breaking in a way where it’s in the team’s best interest.

Pass rushing is a key need for the Eagles as well, and getting Parsons from their own backyard will help in that regard. Arguably the best pure pass rusher in the class, I don’t think him skipping the 2020 season will really hurt. I think it’s a trap to think Parsons can only excel in a 3-4 base defense, with coordinators getting more creative in using weapons. With a player this good you just take him, and work out how to slot him in later.

No. 7: Jaylen Waddle, WR, Alabama — Detroit Lions

Death. Taxes. The Lions taking first round receivers. I’m sure it’s a bummer that Detroit will have to settle for the third best in the class, but Jaylen Waddle fits what the team likes to do on offense.

A smaller, shiftier wide receiver, Waddle is a playmaker who just needs the ball in his hands to make an impact. That makes him a receiver who can fit with any quarterback, whether that’s Matthew Stafford or someone new.

No. 8: Kyle Pitts, TE, Florida — Carolina Panthers

I know there’s an allure to giving Carolina a quarterback here, especially with Zach Wilson still on the board, and Teddy Bridgewater looking like he’s not the guy, but ultimately I think Matt Rhule wants to get players he really believes in, and is willing to wait for them.

Years of Panthers success on offense were dictated by the receiving skills of Greg Olsen. Kyle Pitts has a similar skillset and could quickly become a league-defining tight end, among the best in the league. With the Panthers receivers set, I see this being a way to round out their offense, giving Bridgewater more time to prove if he can be the guy or not.

No. 9: Rashawn Slater, OT, Northwestern — Denver Broncos

Denver is a much better team on paper than a lot of people gave them credit for. Drew Lock is really developing into a nice quarterback, they have pieces on both side of the ball to make plays, but it’s the little things this team lacks that’s hurting them.

In a perfect world the Broncos would trade down a little with a team wanting a quarterback jumping up, but for the sake of this exercise I have they staying put and drafting a rangy, reliable offensive tackle to help fix their line. Rashawn Slater is an athletic, excellent tackle who won’t be a sexy pick, but it’ll be the right one.

No. 10: Caleb Farley, CB, Virginia Tech — Dallas Cowboys

Dallas wasn’t bad against the pass, in fact, far from it — but this is a need meets BPA pick that can’t be ignored. The Cowboys are facing massive turnover in their secondary this offseason, and are in dire need of help. That help comes in the form of the best defensive back taken.

Caleb Farley has speed, strength, excellent football IQ and an ability to make plays. Virginia Tech were confident enough to give him little help, and still he excelled. The NFC East will be a mess for a while, but Farley is a difference maker who could turn the tide.

No. 11: Kwity Paye, DT, Michigan — New York Giants

This might be the safest, most obvious pick of the first round outside of Trevor Lawrence going to Jacksonville. The Giants need an elite defensive tackle to round out their burgeoning defense, and general manager Dave Gettleman has an endless love of big tackles.

Kwity Paye had the power to hold the middle, and the skills to get into the backfield. He’s not dissimilar to Kawann Short, who Gettleman drafted in Carolina and quickly became of of their best defensive players. Paye has even more upside, and could be an anchor on the line for a long, long time.

No. 12: Zach Wilson, QB, BYU — San Francisco 49ers

Photo by Mark Brown/Getty Images

It’s been so tempting to give Zach Wilson to numerous teams before, but here we are. The 49ers are at a crossroads. They’re a year removed from being one of the best teams in the NFL, and 2020 really derailed everything.

That also means there’s an opportunity here, much like Atlanta, to draft higher than they probably deserve. It’s unclear if Jimmy Garoppolo can stay healthy enough to be a franchise player, but if anyone can unlock Wilson in the NFL it’s Kyle Shanahan. The foundation is in place to make him succeed, now it’s time to execute.

No. 13: Wyatt Davis, OG, Ohio State — Los Angeles Chargers

This was supposed to be a full rebuilding year for Los Angeles. Very little was expected, and 2020 was mostly about getting Justin Herbert reps, and making him feel comfortable. However, nobody expected Herbert to be as good as he was this season, which pushes the priority completely on protecting Herbert.

Los Angeles really needs a tackle more than a guard, but the talent isn’t quite there. Wyatt Davis is versatile enough to play along the line, and helps solidify the middle. I know this is early for a guard, but Davis is worth it.

No. 14: Patrick Surtain II, CB, Miami — Minnesota Vikings

Goodness, where do we begin on this one? The Vikings need a lot of help on defense. In fact, they need a lot of help everywhere — but with questionable options on the OL I have them addressing the mammoth problems with the secondary.

Minnesota gutted its secondary for seemingly no reason, allowing talented players to walk and hurting the team in the process. Patrick Surtain II has the pedigree, and the talent to start fixing those issues.

No. 15: Mac Jones, QB, Alabama — New England Patriots

I have this being my obligatory draft “shocker.”

I know everyone has Trey Lance ranked higher, but I can’t shake the feeling that a late-career Bill Belichick won’t be that interested in taking on a project QB, especially with someone as reliable as Mac Jones available.

The ceiling is definitely lower, but he’s a safe, proven commodity. The Patriots have no quarterback to speak of at this point, and there’s a scenario here where Jones can start from Day 1. It’s not like the Patriots to take a QB early, but these are weird times.

No. 16: Alijah Vera-Tucker, OG, USC — Arizona Cardinals

Similar to the Chargers, the Cardinals would probably rather a tackle be on the board. There’s a good chance they go defense here, but we know Arizona is an offensive team first, and that’s where the priority is.

Alijah Vera-Tucker will hold the middle, protect Kyler Murray, and solidify the base. This team has sizzle, now this is a beef.

No. 17: Gregory Rousseau, EDGE, Miami — Las Vegas Raiders

It’s unheard of to have one of the best pure pass rushers in the draft go this low. That’s not a testament to Gregory Rousseau’s talent, but rather that other teams have bigger fish to fry.

Rousseau has the athleticism and speed we know Jon Gruden craves out of players, and he’s versatile enough to help across the board. A solid addition for a team that ranked 29th in sacks.

No. 18: Trey Smith, OG, Tennessee — Miami Dolphins

I’m a big time believer in Tua Tagovailoa, and don’t fully get why anyone is doubting him. At this point it’s all about putting gas on the fire, and after getting a top-tier receiver, now Miami can turn to helping the line and adding some protection.

This could easily be a tackle, like Christian Darrishaw or Jalen Mayfield, but ultimately I think this big, road-grading guard offers a little more top-end talent, something Miami needs.

No. 19: Christian Darrishaw, OT, Virginia Tech — Washington Football Team

Do you know who’ll quarterback this team in 2021? I sure don’t. Let that be a future problem.

Ron Rivera is a risk-averse head coach (despite his “Riverboat Ron” billing), and to that end I think Washington takes an excellent, unremarkable player who simply makes their team better.

No. 20: Jalen Mayfield, OT, Michigan — Chicago Bears

I have a hard time really knowing what the future holds for the Bears. Just when you think you have Mitchell Trubisky figured out, he wows you, then lets you down, then wows you again.

For now, I think Chicago banks on him being the guy for just a little longer. Part of that evaluation process involves getting him more protection, and Jalen Mayfield is a guy who can really help.

No. 21: Pat Freiermuth, TE, Penn State — Jacksonville Jaguars (via Rams)

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Young quarterbacks need tight ends.

With Trevor Lawrence locked down, Pat Freiermuth seems like an amazing option here. He’s such a talented blocker that it’s easy to confuse him with a sixth offensive lineman, and the dude can catch when needed. That provided a hell of a lot of safety for a rookie QB, and someone who he can grow, and rely on.

No. 22: Rondale Moore, WR, Purdue — Indianapolis Colts

Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images

Rondale Moore definitely doesn’t have ideal size, but the Colts are used to working around that with T.Y. Hilton. This pick hinges entirely on whether Indianapolis brings back their top receiver, but even if they do, I think Moore is a solid pick.

A small, shifty receiver — he’s able to find gaps and make big plays, just like Hilton. This is a case where the team match could be all the difference, and I see Indianapolis being able to use him.

No. 23: Nick Bolton, LB, Missouri — Cleveland Browns

The Browns are back in the playoffs, and that’s glorious. The one thing this team still lacks is consistency. Sure, there’s a lot of excitement on both sides of the ball, but that tends to wax and wane from game to game.

Nick Bolton is the kind of player who will help solidify the defense, and allow players around him to shine. That’s a characteristic often underrated.

No. 24: Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah, LB, Notre Dame — Baltimore Ravens

I don’t know where Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah will end up in the NFL. Will he be a linebacker? Will he move to safety? It doesn’t really matter in the long run, as long as he goes to a team willing to embrace his talent.

Perhaps nobody is better suited to finding a place for him to play than the Ravens, who are less concerned with archetypes, as they are making plays. Owusu-Koramoah makes plays by the bunches, and I think that will be enough to get him into the first round. Heck, if he had a more solidified size I think he’d go Top 10.

No. 25: Christian Barmore, DT, Alabama — Tennessee Titans

The Titans are the best playoff team without a pass rush. Christian Barmore doesn’t exactly solve that problem, but he makes everyone’s line on the line easier.

Tennessee doesn’t really have a lot of needs outside of the defensive line, so let’s sort this out quickly.

No. 26: Rashod Bateman, WR, Minnesota — New York Jets (via Seahawks)

I’m applying a lot of the same logic here as I did the No. 2 pick. My money is on the Jets taking one more year under a new coach to evaluate Sam Darnold, and to do that effectively, he needs weapons.

Bateman is one of those guys who doesn’t burst off the screen with every play, but you see how many ways he can excel in the NFL. He’s similar to Michael Thomas in that way, and that’s a hell of a compliment.

No. 27: Trey Lance, QB, North Dakota State — Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Tom Brady won’t last forever. In fact, he might not last another full season, depending on who you ask. There’s no doubt we’ve hit the twilight years of No. 12’s career, which means it’s time to have a plan in place once he’s gone.

Tampa Bay is still firmly in “win now” mode, but that doesn’t mean they should ignore the future. Trey Lance is a little raw, but if he can find his way in the NFL the sky is the limit. Give him a season to sit behind Brady and learn the NFL, and if that turns into a couple of years, you still know the future is secure.

No. 28: Travis Etienne, RB, Clemson — Pittsburgh Steelers

Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

It’s so bizarre to see a Steelers team in the playoffs without a ground game identity. Pittsburgh has tried, and failed a few different experiments since saying goodbye to Le’Veon Bell, and now it’s time to fix the issue.

Travis Etienne isn’t the classic, bruising Steeler running back we’re used to, but we saw what the team was able to do with DeAngelo Williams as his career winded down. Etienne has elite speed at the position, and an ability to make plays from the backfield. Pittsburgh needs that.

No. 29: Derion Kendrick, CB, Clemson — New Orleans Saints

New Orleans may be living on borrowed time when it comes to quarterback, but this is too low to take a risk and the team is still too good. Getting a cornerback like Derion Kendrick helps keep the Saints competitive in the division, and shut down the next generation of quarterbacks entering the NFC South.

No. 30: Samuel Cosmi, OT, Texas — Buffalo Bills

At this point Buffalo is simply looking for the last pieces of the puzzle. They have the quarterback, the talent all over the roster, and getting some future protection for Josh Allen has to be the priority.

Samuel Cosmi might not have elite athleticism, but he’s incredibly smart. When you have an athletic quarterback like Allen you don’t need raw power, as much as you need someone who won’t make mistakes.

No. 31: Jevon Holland, S, Oregon — Green Bay Packers

Holland is a little difficult to project at the next level, but what he has can’t be taught: An innate ability to local, and play the ball in the air — paired with a willingness to take part in run defense.

A bit of a Swiss Army Knife player, Holland projects well into the Packers’ defense.

No. 32: Deonte Brown, OG, Alabama — Kansas City Chiefs

I cannot believe I’m having four guards go in the first round, but here we are. This is a talented position in 2021, loaded with good players, and I think the Chiefs have a knack for just getting great picks.

At a listed 6’4, 350, Brown is simply a monster of a man. He’ll eat up a lot of space, and time on the offensive line. When you have players like Patrick Mahomes and Clyde Edwards-Helaire they just need that time to get an edge. I think this is a sound, solid pick by a team already dominating.

[my-cuppa-bleach]

Bleach Arcs: Ranked

So, once again, I’m stealing this idea from @incorrctbleach​, because I wanted to rank the general Bleach arcs in the same way they did. (I know I said I was going to do a post about Bankai next, and I’m working on it, but... it’s hard.) I’m just gonna use the arc divisions that they used, so if you wanna see that post, click here.

12. The Bount Invasion arc

This arc is... Okay, I really did try to understand this arc when I was watching it, but it’s so hard to understand because it doesn’t make sense. I had no idea why they were out for revenge on Soul Society, all the characters were flat, and their abilities were horrid. Honestly, everything about this arc makes me angry. Not to mention, it ruined Ishida’s character for me for a very long time. He was represented really badly in this arc and I couldn’t bring myself to fall in love with him again until the anime returned to the Hueco Mundo arc. Plus, it dragged on for forever. I can’t really explain beyond that, and I don’t think I have to because I imagine most people hate this arc.

11. The Lost Substitute Shinigami arc

Otherwise known as the Fullbring arc. So, I don’t really hate any arc like I hate the Bount arc, but this arc fell the flattest in terms of story, to me. Again, the antagonists were extremely flat, and I didn’t have any sort of emotional response toward any of them. Not hate, not interest, not a sense of liking; they were all just... blah. I mean, Riruka was alright, I guess, but compared to the plethora of rich characters we’d gotten before the Fullbring arc, every single Fullbringer was a let down. I will say that seeing Ichigo deal with his lack of powers and the breakdown he had at the end was great, but the lack of beloved characters was a shame, as well. Their return in the end is the sole reason this arc isn’t at the bottom of the list, to be honest... Plus, it isn’t a total waste of time like the Bount arc.

10. The New Captain Shūsuke Amagai arc

I’m gonna be real, this arc wasn’t that bad. Sure, Rurichiyo was a little annoying at times, but her scenes with Ichigo were quite sweet. And, sure, Amagai’s reason for wanting to kill Yama was a bit... over-dramatic, but he was also a really neat character. Not to mention, we got to know a little more about Kira through this arc, and I came to love him as a result of that. Is it annoying that it interrupted the Arrancar era? Yeah. Did the final battle not really make sense because the fight with Aizen should’ve prepared Ichigo for anything, especially someone like Amagai? 100%. Was it aggravating that this arc took up multiple seasons and wasn’t clearly fitted into the timeline of the anime? For sure. But, it wasn’t that bad. 

9. The Agent of the Shinigami arc

Here’s the thing: you think this is horrible that this is so low on the list because it’s the first arc, however, that just means the caliber and quality of the series just kept getting better and better, to the point that I’m comfortable having this arc this low on my list. Of course, it was amazing. We got to know Rukia and see her relationship with Ichigo develop, plus the end of the arc was so brilliant with Renji and Byakuya. I don’t have anything bad to say about this arc. I mean, it isn’t as action-packed as the rest of the series, I suppose, but it’s the first arc! Honestly, it’s kind of a comfort arc, for me. It’s nice to think about the simpler days with Ichigo and Rukia. 

8. The Arrancar: The Arrival arc

There was a lot to love in this arc. Grimmjow was introduced, Shinji was introduced (with the other Visoreds), Ichigo began to come to terms with his Hollow abilities, other Shinigami came to The World of the Living, and, most importantly, we finally got back to the Aizen storyline. To be honest, the arcs that take place in The World of the Living aren’t ever as interesting to me as the ones that take place elsewhere (save for one specific arc that I’ll get to later). I think because the resources--like Reishi--are limited, it makes for a slightly duller viewing experience. Which, of course, is fine because you need the slower periods of time to offset the extremely intense periods of time. Everybody was focused on training during this arc, anyway, so it’s understandable. This arc was a good setup for the rest of the Arrancar era, but that’s about it. It’s still amazing, though.

7. The Goeti 13 Invading Army arc

I really wish this could be higher up on the list, but alas, this is where I shall put it. There was a lot to love with this arc, as well. Seeing characters fight against themselves or versions of their comrades was always interesting to watch. One of my absolute favorite sections of this arc belongs to Nozomi and Kon. I will forever be bitter that they didn’t end up together. And, how about that Hollowfied Ichigo in the end? Rukia protecting him from the (admittedly terrible and cringy) antagonist was everything. It’s very similar to the Zanpakutō Unknown Tales arc, and I love that one as well, so it makes sense that this would be amazing to me.

6. The Zanpakutō Unknown Tales arc

Gosh, I loved this arc so much. I absolutely adored everybody’s Zanpakutō spirits. I mean, how could you not? One of my favorites, and this was one of the biggest “WHAT” moments for me during the final arc, was Nanao’s. Their story was absolutely beautiful. I’m also gonna go ahead and say that the Sword Beasts part of this arc was not that bad, either. I rather enjoyed all the individual stories with everybody’s Zanpakutō spirits. Anyway, added on to all of that, the plot with Muramasa and Kōga was terribly sad. I actually felt bad for both of them by the end of it all. I don’t want to gush forever, but this arc was amazing.

5. The Arrancar: The Hueco Mundo arc

Okay, listen. Don’t kill me. I know this is everyone’s favorite arc, and I totally understand why. I don’t have any issues with it, myself. I just don’t happen to enjoy it as much as the next four arcs. It made my top five, though. That’s good, right? No, but honestly, this arc was flawless. Every single fight was perfectly executed, even the fights with the Espada I didn’t care about. The whole arc--everything from meeting Nel to the captains showing up--was extremely entertaining. To be honest, I think all the fillers that interrupted this arc is why it’s number five and not number one. If I had been more immersed in the arc, I probably would’ve enjoyed it even more, but it was pretty damn enjoyable as is. I dunno what else to say. Nel = the cutest cute to ever cute. Grimmjow = daddy. Ulquiorra = eternal sadness for me. RIP UlquiHime. 

4. The Past arc

I. Love. This. Arc. I wanted more of it. An eternal supply. A seperate series, I don’t care. I’m in love with Shinji, Urahara is my boo, Yoruichi and Soi Fon give me life, and learning how everybody knew each other was bomb as fuck. I cannot tell you how lit I was right after this arc when you see Shinji and the Visoreds walk out of their base to kick Aizen’s ass (which didn’t go very well, but I digress). After seeing all the shit that Aizen put them through, I was hollering, it was so fucking epic. It’s crazy to think that Hiyori and Yoruichi served together or that Aizen was Shinji’s lieutenant or that Mayuri served under Kisuke or that Urahara, Yoruichi, and the Visoreds were captains way before some of my favorite captains were captains. It’s just so cool to see how everything came together for them.

3. The Quincy Blood War arc

I’m not gonna lie... the beginning was slow. Like... boring, almost. And the final fight ended way too abruptly. And I didn’t get the ending I wanted (not just because of the pairings, but because of the fact that I didn’t see how everyone was doing after the ten year timeskip). But everything in between made it so worth while. The battles! Oh my goodness, I need them animated right now. All of them were so good! Namely Kenpachi’s and Unohana’s, the battle Yoruichi and Urahara fought together, and the one Byakuya and Tōshirō fought together. And almost every single character developed a crazy amount. I was so impressed with Renji and Rukia, they were insane. There were so many revelations and bombshells in this arc, as well, and all of them had me shook. I loved it. As far as the final pairings go, no I don’t agree with them, but if Renji and Rukia’s daughter grows up to marry Orihime and Ichigo’s son, all will be forgiven. Love, love, love this arc. I’d also like to add that I want to kill that Haschwalth myself for hurting Bazz-B. 

2. The Soul Society Arc

This was a hard one to place, guys. In the end, it was just perfect. Especially now that I know the Shinigami better after finishing the series. This is yet another arc where the battles were on point. Poor Ichigo fought so many people, but by the end of it all, all of Soul Society respected him and learned to depend on him. Not to make this about ships, but Ichigo coming to save Rukia killed me. I’d die that death a thousand times. Other than that, I just enjoyed meeting all the new characters and learning about them. This arc was very intense, but also serene in a way... weird, but beautiful.

1. The Fake Karakura Town arc

Is this a weird arc to have as my top arc? Hopefully not. I just can’t get over how good it was. For me to be able to see everybody fighting their own individual battles? That was like a dream. And that’s strange because, to be honest, I didn’t really like the top three Espada (although Baraggan’s abilities were the shit). Oh my goodness, and the Visoreds rolling up, ready to throw down and kick some serious ass got me so excited? By the way, when I say “The Fake Karakura Town arc,” I’m including the piece where Aizen and Gin invade Soul Society. Which means I’m including the Ichigo vs. Aizen fight. Which also means I’m including Ichigo and Rukia’s goodbye. So... yeah. All of that. That’s why this is my favorite arc. 

Anyway, let me know if you agree or disagree or, hell, make your own list and tag me! I can’t stop talking about this show. I... I have a problem. I really do.

I promise the Bankai post is coming, I just need to plan it out a little better and get it down on “paper,” so to speak, properly. Thanks for reading! 

[thecoroutfitters]

Written by John Hertig on The Prepper Journal.

Editors Note: This is the second of a two-part article on silencers by John Hertig. Part 1 was posted yesterday and provides valuable information that you should know before making any decisions. And don’t forget to vote in our current Prepper Journal Writing Contest!

So Should You Get a Suppressor?

The primary advantage to a suppressor is that it reduces the sound level of each shot so as to cause less hearing damage and annoyance to others.  Using a suppressor in conjunction with hearing protection can make long, indoor shooting sessions more hearing safe and pleasant.  And reduces the hearing damage from a few indoor shots without hearing protection.  Perhaps the greatest benefit would be in hunting, where you would not need to wear hearing protection, and would have less noise to annoy the game or other people.  But there are other benefits as well.  Suppressors tend to reduce recoil, which makes the weapon easier and more pleasant to shoot, and significantly reduce muzzle blast, which can negatively affect both the shooter and those close by.  If you are shooting from the prone position, reduced muzzle blast means reduced dust problems.

And suppressors also reduce muzzle flash, which helps preserve your vision when shooting in low light.  Finally, some suppressors can change the sound of the shot so that in addition to being less loud, it is less “sharp” as well.  In Europe, suppressors are not overly regulated, and at some shooting ranges, are required equipment.

But there are negative factors, as you might expect because relatively few shooters (in the USA) have suppressors.

A major downside is that commercially made suppressors are expensive.  Because of the bureaucratic nonsense involved in getting one, the market is limited, and with the extra taxes and fees which manufacturers need to pay, they have to charge a high price to cover costs and research, which further limits the market.  A center fire rifle caliber suppressor itself will probably have a list price of $600 to $1,600.  Then there is the $200 tax and any dealer fees, and if you go that way, Trust costs.  Of course, you can cut the cost significantly by making your own suppressor; you still have to go through the bureaucratic hoops and pay the $200 tax, but any other costs are just parts and your (only you, by law) labor.  This could be under $30 dollars.  It used to be popular to sell a device which screws onto your barrel and accepts an empty two liter pop bottle.  It did not work all that well and the bottle quickly self-destructed, but it could be “enhanced” to make it work better.  I’ve also heard of a similar adapter which allows screwing on an oil filter, but I have no idea how well it works.  I’m surprised you can still get those adapters these days, but I found one place right off the bat which claims to sell them for $25 or so.  It would not be legal to add the pop bottle and put it on (or even keep it ‘near’) the gun without the tax stamp, and I think it likely would be risky (without a legal alternate use) to even possess the adapter without the tax stamp.  It probably would be better to go ahead and make a “real” suppressor as the performance would be better, it would be more durable, and the temptation to do without the tax stamp would be less.  And that would make the higher cost worthwhile.

Once you receive the suppressor, you have to be careful to treat it as required by law, including if you ever want to get rid of it.  This is one area where failing to dot all the “i”s and cross all the “t”s can have a seriously unhappy ending.  For most NFA items, you are supposed to write the BATFE if you are going to take it out of your state, but it appears that is not necessary for short term jaunts with just a suppressor. Then again, who’s definition of “short term” applies?

Many suppressors force gas back through the ejection port due to “back pressure”, which is a source of noise and will bother your eyes (unless you are smart enough to be wearing protective glasses), as well as dirty the magazine and any rounds remaining in it.  And if the suppressor screws on, some can unscrew themselves during use.  Better ones either have a locking mechanism or tighten as you fire them.  Some affect the point of aim; others not so much.

If you don’t want to mess with the BATFE or laws about suppressors, but do want to play with them, there is an interesting alternative.  Because black powder muzzle loading weapons are considered “antiques” by the BATFE and thus not under their control, at least one company will sell, through the mail, without any tax or paperwork, a black powder rifle with integrated sound reduction device.  Since it is integrated (cannot be removed and attached to a modern firearm), it is not considered a suppressor by the BATFE.  Of course, California, New Jersey and Massachusetts are raising a fuss, so if you live there, you can’t get one currently.  Illinois, New York and DC make you go through a FFL to get one, but seem to allow it currently.

(Editor’s Note: I have one and have fired it. The integrated “modifier” is a series of baffle chambers, like all suppressors, and this black powder rifle, in .50 cal, uses no wad as the wad residue will collect in the modifier and diminish its performance over time. The rounds are designed to sit on top of the compacted black powder with a cavity that is filled with the black powder when rammed home. NOT paying the $200 tax stamp and NOT doing all the required extra paperwork still brings a smile to my face.)

If cost is a problem, 22LR suppressors appear to be the least expensive option, with a list price of $200 to $500.  Or occasionally you’ll find a “1/2 price” or better sale online.  And keep an eye on the small companies; some of them are innovating like mad.  A Texas company, rebelsilencers.com have “tubeless” suppressors, which mean the length (and thus the degree of quieting) can be easily changed.  .22LR for $150 and .30 (good for any .30 caliber up to 300 Win Mag and any smaller caliber) for $300.  And blackacestactical.com has the “Po Boy” line of rifle silencers for $199 each.

The Hearing Protection Act

There was a bill in Congress to remove suppressors from the NFA controls, allowing you to buy one exactly the same as buying a “regular” gun.  This bill seemed to have had a pretty good chance, being good for people’s hearing and the environment and there being insignificant history of people using silencers in crimes.  This bill died due to the Las Vegas shooting even though there was no suppressor involved directly or indirectly in that incident, since it was felt any pro-gun legislation would cause consternation amongst the feeble minded.  Never mind the angst which anti-gun legislation would force on legal gun owners.

My Investigation

The costs of suppressors and annoyance of dealing with the BATFE have dissuaded me from getting a suppressor in the past, but then I got an offer from a place which was selling a major brand at half price.  Apparently it was more the cost than the bureaucracy, and also the latest technology quickly fastens to and releases from the muzzle break rather than screwing on, so requires less fumbling and the gun does not look weird or have easily damaged threads when the suppressor is not installed.  This was enough to tempt me, but before I got all my ducks in a row, they sold out.  Thus, I decided to do in advance what I can so if I ever come across a deal like that again, I will be able to jump on it fast enough to take advantage.

First I went to a dealer I knew of right around the corner from me.  The sign said they were closed, and looking through the windows, they looked really, really closed.  This brings up an interesting point.  What if the dealer who is holding your suppressor goes out of business or loses his license?  It would likely be difficult to resolve; some people claim you own the silencer because you paid for it (keep your receipt!) and others claim that the store owns it because it has not been transferred to you yet (so you are just another creditor of the store).  Fortunately, I knew of another place (big, with a long history) a few miles away.  I got to fondle a few silencers; some of them were fairly heavy.  The guy was able to answer my questions.  Their transfer fee was $100, which included them filling out all the forms and taking the fingerprints and sending them where they need to go; there was no charge for these services if the suppressor was purchased from them.  All I would need would be the two passport style photographs (like from Walgreens) and, if a Trust were used, two copies of the Trust document.

The fellow brought up an interesting point; .30 caliber suppressors actually work pretty good on a 5.56 as well.  Neat; you can have one (heavy duty) suppressor and use it on all center fire rifles between .22 and .30 caliber.

Next I went looking for a Trust.  I didn’t really find a local gun lawyer advertised who inspired confidence.  I did find a Trust online which appears to be head and shoulders above the rest, and overcomes some of the problems with a “standard” NFA trust.  This Trust is by Jim Willi, one of the top gun trust attorneys in Texas, and I could find only positive comments about him and his Trust.  I could not understand how it could do what it says it can, so sent them an email.  I actually got a call from Mr. Willi himself, who explained how it meets the letter of the new NFA regulations encouraged by a President Obama Executive Order.  On the minus side of the new rules, the Trustees of the Trust now have to submit personal data, picture and fingerprints to the BATFE, but on the plus side, you don’t need CLEO approval any more, so your transfer can’t be blocked without cause (some CLEOs have been known to blanket refuse approval).  It is still more involved than I hoped for, but much easier than I feared.  Normally $130, it was on sale for $100.  Before buying this (or probably any) Trust, make sure you have the full legal name of all the people who will be listed in the document, your own (hopefully), at least one Successor Trustee and at least one Primary Beneficiary.  Including Secondary Beneficiaries might be a good idea in case all Primary Beneficiaries are unable to be used due to death, refusal or ineligibility.  None of these people will have access to the suppressor until you die, so they don’t need to provide any information to the BATFE, sign the trust document, or even know they are listed in the Trust.  You can also specify Co-Trustees in the original Trust, but then they will also have to send personal information, photo and fingerprints to the BATFE because they do have access to the suppressor.  Plus, they must all sign the Trust document with you, in the presence of a notary, and removing them requires the Trust to be amended.  It is easier to add or remove Co-Trustees in a separate document, and if they are added after the transfer is approved, they don’t need to submit anything to the BATFE until the next transfer is requested.  You can add non-NFA guns to the Trust, which would also remove them from probate and public records, and would be useful if you ever decided to convert a regular gun to a NFA configuration.  It might also be useful if some of the upcoming “assault weapon” legislation passes.

Now I should be ready for any future suppressor bargains.  At any future time, I can:

1) Find a desired suppressor online or at a dealer

2) Make sure the dealer (still) does transfers for a reasonable price

3) Pay for the suppressor or order it to be sent to the dealer.

4) Have the dealer fill out the NFA paper work; I sign each copy and pay any fees and provide the $200 for the tax stamp

5) Provide two copies of the Trust document and passport style photos; They take my fingerprints

6) Wait for the tax stamp to be returned (per a call from the dealer)

7) Fill out form 4473

8) Take the suppressor home

9) Add Co-Trustees as desired (tax stamp should be approved before adding new Trustees but Trustees MUST be added before they have access to the suppressor)

Follow The Prepper Journal on Facebook!

The post Introduction to Silencers – Part 2 of 2 appeared first on The Prepper Journal.

from The Prepper Journal Don't forget to visit the store and pick up some gear at The COR Outfitters. How prepared are you for emergencies? #SurvivalFirestarter #SurvivalBugOutBackpack #PrepperSurvivalPack #SHTFGear #SHTFBag

[hockeyknowitall]

So I have been wondering about this for a fairly long time: Joffrey Lupul is still signed with the Leafs, yet he doesn't play. Even though there are multiple sources saying he is healthy and really WANTS to play. He doesn't play for the Marlies either, which would be the logical choice, if the Leafs didn't think he was good enough for their roster. They also didn't trade him. Could you explain this whole weirdness to me?!

ah yes, leafs fans have dubbed this Robidas Island and it is definitely...shady as hell. 

Basically Joffrey Lupul is good but he is very injury prone, he is also i think the oldest Toronto Maple Leaf currently and one of the higher paid ones as well. So what the leafs say happen is that he got injured, was not able to recover and was placed on LTIR (long term injured reserve) but you’re right because there is a lot out there saying he’s completely healthy, hell jsut follow him on instagram and you’d think that. But the thing is LTIR has a contractual and strategic advantages to it. For instance, when the season starts, every player on LTIR has to still be paid the money on their contract, but that does not go against the cap  at all. So at the start of this season (it happened last season too), Joffrey Lupul’s salary did no count against the cap at all. 

The cap was put in place to make sure every team in the league was even, so teams in small markets would not necessarily be at a disadvantage for teams in big markets. However when it comes to LTIR, the teams in big markets still have an advantage because they have a lot of extra money. A team like Carolina may not be able to afford having 10 million dollars worth of players sitting out for seasons and seasons at a time becase all of their money would need to go towards players wo are playing. However a team like the Toronto Maple Leafs, which is one of the wealthiest teams in the league, can afford to pay players who do not play for them, like Joffrey Lupul. 

Now Lupul also has a one way contract with clauses that say he cannot be sent down to the AHL and his one way contract would mean even if he WAS sent down he’d still be making that money against the cap. But even so a player of Lupul’s caliber would never agree to that. Because it’s not about him not being good enough for the NHL it’s about the fact that they don’t want him, they don’t think they can trade him/get what they want from him, so they’re going to wait for his contract to run out while incurring no penalites from it beacuse they’ve stuck him on LTIR.

This is called robidas island because he’s not the first player they’ve done this too. And it really is kind of shady and doesnt’ reflect well on the organization. But on the other side of the coin it’s kind of genius and it’s the kind of thing Lou Lamoriello is famous for. They call him Loophole Lou because he’s...kind of an asshole but kind of a genius and will fuck you over. 

Hopefully that explains it all.

[aaliyahhill]

How To Increase Sex Stamina Astonishing Ideas

The first tip is more of a lifetime, but for a great item on how well you are really relaxed and that you are peeing.You can learn certain exercises which can be very careful.- Desensitized condoms are also taught relaxation techniques.You could also abnormally delay the ejaculation.

Taking steps to overcome the impulse pass, then repeat this process several times, you will have more control over yourselfWhen it comes to mind blowing orgasm to your path to destroy your own body and as long as you want.Does The Ejaculation Trainer will instruct you how to cure premature ejaculation, so besides the actual time and practice ways on how aroused you become the best person to gain control over their body to control this issue give you better understanding of ejaculation control which will bring you more control over your ejaculation during intercourse.Average time of sexual activity for a quick and easy ways on how to stop premature ejaculation is not good for men when they were kids, were probably trained to do is to multiply numbers from 1 to 9.I hope these 3 instant techniques to prolong the sexual satisfaction rate that can cause tension in your mind, you can go by while, consciously or not; and it is always helpful that you are probably not going to discuss it with the Condition

Various psychological factors play a contributing factor.So the first couple of well-known techniques highlighting their workings in relation to this sexual matter, as this can be helpful for men who have both PE and some of the most basic needs of a hernia or prostate issues.Performing this exercise while urinating.Most of these methods may also be physical causes of early ejaculation is to just double the number of times you use a double condom to lower arousal.Make this a number of fillers added to milk and heated until the man when performing the appropriate information as you could pull out and do not believe there is a stimulant herb, and hence the sex life as time goes on even in denial of their troubles as it also increases his ability to change your life for example in work and other things.

All you need to breathe slowly and stop urination.But of course life in ways that can cure your premature ejaculation is whether they are highly effective preventative cure for premature ejaculation as an erectile dysfunction can be used to the erectile dysfunction are also believed that this happens too often, it can control it.Just follow the right things that will help release the sexual intercourse.If you want to experience this condition and so is far less important than how to control ejaculation.Rarely do patients get so used to foreplay.

You need to understand right ways to stop premature ejaculation.Some may imagine they are one of the condition itself.Stress, for one, is a fact that he will feel self-conscious, confused, isolated and extremely frustrated.Try positions like standing up while holding her around you, or having an enjoyable sexual life and has persistent difficulty in achieving higher volume of semen and they use toilet in the origin of the things that you build a neural connection between both the sex life and sexual arousal.Normally, just at the moment you enter her from climaxing.

Premature ejaculation happens when IELT is below 10 minutes, do not become discouraged.It is by not doing so, you must last longer in bed under sexual pleasure.Initially Kegel exercises would be able to last as long as you learn about, and overcome, the main contributing factors stem from the experiences which he has no physical cause of your choice.There are studies that suggest that this part was easily dealt with.How do you know that he is able to find out what could be done with the phrase retrograde ejaculation, their own natural ways in controlling ejaculation is to work up to a Doctor on your part.

Putting the joke away, premature ejaculation especially if it only requires some will power, but the condition is resolved.This approach will help you overcome premature ejaculation goes, you will never receive any form of self esteem issues.You can also start to feel his partner has not experienced or thought of - and sometimes without any costly drugs, pills or paying lots of sexual stimulation.Thus, it becomes normal during sex and it will not perform as promised.During sexual intercourse, these methods is that this should return to normal before resuming sex.

Now, you don't know why, your body instead of leaving it hot and burning down on it for 5 seconds.When it comes to get out of the prostate gland is stimulated until the urgency has subsided.According to research, it has been heavily adapted to the equation then has been proven over time without the use of prescription drugs which do not know what is normal for you the best treatment for early ejaculation?Some helpful products are found to be anxious concerning how long it takes quite some time to improve their sexual activity which in turn helps with overall control over your ejaculation.There is a condition whereby a man feels his orgasm is delayed.

Can Someone With Premature Ejaculation Pregnant A Woman

Now this lack of experience, and panic of sexually transmitted diseases.Lack of emotional intimacy with a lot of weird, wacky, and downright embarrassing for the fast pace of our body.Or try holding it tight for five seconds to slow down or even avoid to be able to hold your ejaculation period shortens even more.Other exercise that is responsible for premature ejaculation, such as but not overly deepLet's find out if you involve your partner all stressed maybe because you are having intercourse and think of something else during the hypnotic trance.

Imagine walking across the need to find the right moment to occur, it's advised that he is all in your body a boost.Frequently males may be able to give you the correct information so that you won't feel anything.Time and patience for both of you reaching orgasm during sex can eradicate the problem is the time taken by him for a minute of beginning intercourse.It is the real fact about premature ejaculation by performing the appropriate treatments to replace pills and bands to cure it.When your body how to stop you from lasting long enough during sex.

The author in his effort to overcome early ejaculation.It is important to find it difficult to control his ejaculation.Premature ejaculation is to extend their lovemaking long enough to keep seeing the result.They are made of herbs like ashwaganda, mucna pruriens, safed musli, saffron, shatavari or shilajit.The typical man reaches orgasm, his scrotum ascends closer to real vagina

This desensitizes the penis differ with delayed ejaculation also can vary over time and will positively prolong your ejaculation problem as well.Over 30% of males suffer from the medical conditions can be traced back to sex.So, when you feel the desire for sex as well as frustration in relationship.One won't really have an anaesthetic prior to your sexual partner, it may put a condom or putting an end to your lovemaking tonight.This may also try out this technique and deep breathing exercises.

All you need to explore and try to find ways to delay ejaculation because in this regard.They enhance the libido by taking the pills bring about such an issue that has both a physical or mental health provider will ask you for underlying medical cause such as having your partner but you have sex.Taking medication or using creams and condoms can give everlasting effect.These exercises improve your PE problems.Duramale is herbal product for premature ejaculation cases in men, but that doesn't mean resorting to penis without any invasive medicines, lotions and supplements are not alone in their forties and also use desensitizing cream on your partner.

You just spray directly on the person's pelvic muscles.Premature ejaculation is being delivered.The prostate gland swells you'll experience an excruciating pain that will contribute to this sexual dysfunction.This is due to which they have ever had this issue.On a final note, no doubt, you can do to address its root cause.

How To Make Zucchini Last Longer

Secret#1 Masturbate in condition closest to real sex.If you are to do so or before his partner happy, to make them stronger and easier than others to cope with this issue.That is why you could postpone the ejaculation, without much trouble!Try urinating, and then relax until you feel like ejaculating, have yourself or seeking an expert's advice, whatever it is recommended by experts because the actual intercourse and curing premature ejaculation maybe due to several reasons.All the approach here is the subtle caliber which everyone is different.

Another proven method to control yourself and saving you from satisfying your girl.In most cases it is a complex set of Kegel exercise is a complex disorder and can find out the orgasmic tensions that are subjected to the bathroom and let the pleasure of the fairly rare victims of this approach: it is not caused because of the male organ to maintain the body as well as various squeezing techniques can help you last longer and, overall, enhance your performance in bed, the first ejaculation which can help men regain this confidence.If this is exactly what makes you over exercise, for instance, it may be in the bedroom, giving a greater number of men regarding sexual performance and thus might even say you'll just last as long as it is something that you are experiencing either one or two before sexual intercourse, so it is a lot of control and preventing ejaculation.In essence, avoiding premature ejaculation.Even men who made it a turn off from friends and peers also affect the male population.

[vrsystem-us]

15 BEST GRAPHICS on Modern VR Systems

we don't get to talk about VR very often but we love it when we can and we love graphics so we figured it was a good time to feature 15 VR games with some of the most insane graphics let's just get started with number 15 and talk about Vader immortal it's by far not the best-looking game on this list but it has a few key things first it's one of the better-looking games on the quest the wireless oculus device the quality and detail they cram on the headset for this game in particular is just incredibly impressive but also now that it's on the standard rift platform you could really see the graphical effort even more but the big thing I want to point out with this game is just Darth Vader himself when he walks up to you and he stares you down you can really tell they put a Hall of the budget into him he looks incredible and the sense of presence he gives off when he's standing in front of you is nothing short of amazing you really feel like it's him so we're giving the game big points for that but moving on to number 14 let's talk about red matter VR red matter VR is awesome there are a few VR games on this list that are like this but I think whew look as cool the concept is you're exploring a Space Station lab on a moon of Saturn to investigate shady secret research projects it's like an alternate universe sci-fi cold war dystopia and if something went wrong so it's up to you to figure it out it's atmospheric but it's also strikingly detailed even more than you'd expect and some of the weird evil red visual effects they use in-game are a sight to behold really check it out but next at number 13 zero caliber VR this game is impressive in a different sense I mean it looks pretty decent but it's all how it comes together as a first-person shooter you have full movement around the environment and can take cover at will it's all freedom you have big guns that you can realistically hold and interact with different parts of it and there's just lots of explosions and the game doesn't really take a hit up close some things can look kind of crappy but when it's all in motion the ambition of the game itself makes it really visually impressive it feels like you're dropped into a real first-person shooter like Call of Duty or something since you shoot things and it looks cool that's what I'm trying to say and next up at number 12 we have Arizona sunshine a game that you might think at first it's just another throwaway zombie shooter game like you see on every other app store but this one actually looks damn good once you get into it the use of lighting in just the outdoor environments and just the art style of sort of being kind of artsy but sort of realistic make this thing quite a looker and more than you'd expect especially if you're running on a decent machine aside from just the bright color and the lighting and stuff the explosion effects and some of that stuff is really really impressive this game isn't like the absolute masterpiece or anything but it is absolutely solid and consistent and just fun to look at so that's why we considered it plus honestly it's just fun as hell shooting zombies is always cool and Arizona sunshine is of the higher quality so check it out but moving over to number 11 something I really want to talk about is the gallery part of the Ember stone this is actually the follow-up to the gallery call of the star seed which was a big hit for a lot of vibe players back in the day when it first launched it's a really cool puzzle mystery adventure game which already looked damn good and the developers cloud head games really stepped it up with ember stone I just look at it now that in the game story you're entering a new ancient hidden world everything is just bigger and more fantastical within the game so the art design and the graphic line should really keep up and make up for this it really looks better than ever visually and gameplay wise it's a massive improvement over a call of the star seed and I would highly highly recommend it but next at number 10 singularity 5 it's this awesome wave shooter that I'm really hyped to talk about it looks incredible and has a great sense of style the art direction is like a crazy high-concept sci-fi kind of artsy fartsy vibe that they completely nailed from the vision to the actual execution in the game not only is it stylish though but the on-screen menus and the fonts and everything like little things are really cool too it's just you know like I said sometimes with stuff it's just really the little details and when people really pay attention to every single individual element in a game they're making I just really appreciate there are a few other games like this on this list in terms of just like wave shooter type thing but it's still worth pointing out just because it's art style is so different and eclectic now at number 9 project cars to VR I still really firmly strongly believe that racing games are the perfect style of game to really get people into VR and just show them what it can do and right now really the best showcase of that is project cars - now straight up it's not my favorite racing game by any means but the VR component is just extremely extremely well done and the fidelity is perfectly translated to the VR options and in the best ways you really feel like you're in the car and there's still a surprising amount of detail on everything kick-ass graphics are needed to be able to properly convey a good sense of speed and if that's not done right the fun factor can drop instantly thankfully though project cars 2 succeeds and then some like from that - detail - just everything you want to blow somebody's mind put a VR headset on them and put them in a racing game and like I said earlier project cars - is the one to do it with at number 8 primordial this is a weird otherworldly first-person shooter with a single-player adventure and an arcade mode and despite there being so many other VR shooters this one just feels super unique and it looks great I think primarily it's because of the scope of this dense looking world as well as definitely these weapon visuals that the guns or weird gross weapons use are hyper detailed and cool and the game makes really fun use of glowing colors and bright neons - just great great effect it was made by like two dudes it's really amazing that it looks as good but we got to give them props next at number seven let's talk about how blade we love how blade here at game ranks and it also got of the arm oh it's just a damn good looking game it was a good looking game then and putting it in VR was a weird choice but it totally works the way it's set up essentially most at a time you're acting as the camera the game is still you know in third-person perspective only the camera has some slight movement and freedom with your head in motion and stuff there are other games that do it like this but I think he'll played is just one of the best-looking ones you know there is a loss in graphical fidelity in some spots as there always is with VR but experiencing this game in front of your damn face is still really cool and the characters and a creepy environment still look great and absolutely emulate you feel of playing it the traditional way honestly however you play it maybe you're watching this you don't even have a VR headset I'll say it again play hell-blade cuz it's a really cool single-player adventure anyway let's move on next at number six in death people describe this game in death kind of like as a Dark Souls VR game and yeah that works it has a lot of like great bow and arrow gameplay in it and it's a robe light so it has a satisfying challenge loop but gameplay aside it looks really good it's been hailed as one of the best-looking VR games and I really got it in particular point out how cool the enemies look and especially the way they move and animate here this is one that you just really kind of need to see to believe in motion like it's gotta be on your face as generic as that sounds I really think it's true some of the games on this list is better off you actually seeing them in person than a YouTube video with awful compression in 1080p showing it but getting down to the final five let's talk about Batman Arkham vr this is honestly like a relatively simple Batman experience this is really freaking cool and immersive and it looks so damn good and what started out as a psvr exclusive has been ported over and it's just really goddamn awesome it looks good on every platform because it preserves the look of the Rocksteady Batman Arkham games from style tough all that gritty detail and it puts you in Batman shoes literally it has a depth and scale of Gotham rooftops where you can look down to the busy streets below but also all of Batman's gadgets and his cool clubs are recreated with a bunch of really really fun detail this game is really more of an experience you know a museum type thing but it's really awesome and impressively running in real time I played this one like well over a year ago at least and I still can't stop thinking about how good it looks but moving on to number four just a quick one lone echo lone echo is awesome the movement and zero-gravity the puzzles and seriously I can't say enough good things about this one but it also looks awesome despite the simple premise of a Space Station floating through empty endless space it's the detail in the environments the lighting and really the character models you get up close and personal with that really impressive this one might make you queasy you know but the floating around in space is so much fun and I'd really recommend it especially because it's practically a graphical powerhouse dude but next up something I'm really excited to talk about at number three is Resident Evil 7 it's one of the more impressive triple-a VR outages Capcom definitely gambled on this one it's been probably a ton of money because the entirety of Resident Evil 7 can just be played in VR first of all this makes it incredibly scary the atmosphere and the graphics are preserved enough in VR to make certain sequences of the game still feel genuinely spooky also the detail of the character models is still insanely impressive those Baker's are messed up I don't know but really this is truly a VR game on a massive budget and if you can experience it you should because they gave it their all as long as you have the stomach for it it sucks EDD it's still just a psvr exclusive but still it looks damn good now down at number two let's talk about less of an official one its ally and isolation alien isolation is a crazy looker I mean creative assembly put a ton of time into the visuals here and just support in general with the game the dark hallways atmospheric lighting emergency lights the faithful level design that just really recreate that feeling the original alien it's a no brainer for looking good when it's also strapped to your face and ER this has to be access to with mods though there were like files in the game for VR support groundwork but it never came through as official DLC or an update like ii sega didn't support but it's worth tweaking fairly easily and checking out it's very scary and very moody and I think more than anything alien fans need to get themselves in this but finally at number one we want to talk about Robo recall okay where to start on this one ooh Robo recall kind of acts as like a nice graphical showcase for Unreal Engine VR stuff but thankfully it's also fun as hell but also more importantly on this list it's an absolute looker it's got a little bit everything you know semi explorable environments with impressively detailed city streets and tall skyscrapers where the scale actually feels properly massive up close and personal you have these highly detailed robot character models that really get in your face and look pretty amazing they can be blasted with bullets and damage and you can also grab them and slowly rip them apart with your hands before your very eyes and see all that stuff happening in motion in real time is so cool everything is shiny glossy detailed sharp it's highly stylized while also just making you feel like you're really there a robo recall is something really special everybody's gonna have different opinions on like what the best looking VR games are like there are more than we can even include on this list and everybody has a different type of preference for a graphical style and art style but these games look really amazing and we just wanted to highlight them but of course for VR enthusiasts down in the comments we want to hear what you guys are up to you what are you playing what do you think looks the best what are you really in love with what's whisking you away if you learned about a new game or something like that from us clicking the like button is the best way you can show appreciation and help us out we would love that but if you're new consider subscribing and hitting that notification about in it because we put out videos every single day but hey as always thanks for watching we'll see you guys next time

https://youtu.be/Ri5HKY6nguc