#oda death still because i'm not doing that story yet sorry oda you're still a grave here

[lightning24680]

BSD Fanfic idea/Scenario?

Hi everyone! I've finally finished my finals and now that I've gotten all that studying done and the actual tests as well out of the way I'm free to unleash all the ideas I've been dying to write.

I've been thinking of this particular idea for a while and since I quite literally have not at all been able to find a story with this idea I've been left with no choice but to write it myself!

What if Chuuya traveled back in time to stop Dazai from leaving the Port Mafia? No this is not a beast au idea, but the idea is kinda half-baked in my mind though and as usual I have no plot plan but I really want to write this so you can expect me to post this story in a few days!

[cousticks]

what do you think of oda's last words to dazai?

was it good or nah?

Oda's last words to Dazai are a lot to unpack. Calling them good or bad is kind of a reduction, especially when so much of BSD is based around those shades of grey between.

Also anon I am so sorry, this answer ended up almost 1500 words. Buckle up I guess.

Before I answer this, lets put Oda into context a bit.

At 14, he was a highly regarded private assassin. One of the most skilled in Yokohama. He's got that vacant hopeless look to him that the tweens involved in death get in the BSD universe, and really only holds to retribution for betrayal and not much else other than just doing his job. I'm not sure off the top of my head when he met Natsume and decided he wanted to become an author, but somewhere in there he had a moral shift and was given a goal. I'm not sure when he really started collecting orphans, but I know he got... Sakura, I believe, during the Dragon's Head Conflict when he was about 21. This would also be not long after he met Dazai.

Oda... isn't perfect at all. I went on about it a bit in my last Oda post, but he really didn't make it to the light like he wanted to. He went from acclaimed assassin to mafia grunt that refuses to kill. Which... is a more lateral shift than he'd probably like. He's still supporting an undoubtedly corrupt and murderous organization, even if he himself isn't the one pulling the trigger, so to speak, anymore. Imperfect. He's a little better than some in the mafia, but is he, really? He's still, y'know, in the mafia. I could say something poetic about flowers blooming at night but I really don't even want to go that far. He's caring for some orphans, he's humoring Dazai, he's running some errands for the Mafia, point set. You could say he spends his time trying to keep some of the kids in the mafia alive and show them some kindness so they don't end up jaded in the way he did. We see this with Dazai, we kind of see it in the Dragon's Head Rush scene when he runs off with Akutagawa slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He's doing something, but he's not getting them out. I think he knows that's a decision the kids have to make on their own.

To reference Oda in Beast for a second, he sends Beast!Akutagawa to discourage one of the kids from joining a gang by being realistic with the kid. Akutagawa never directly tells him not to join, but he does tell the kid how fruitless it would be. The kid ultimately made the choice for himself to not go through with joining. Oda orchestrated that, too.

So... I said Oda isn't perfect. He isn't. But he knows that decisions mean more when its not somebody telling you to do it, but a conclusion you come to on your own once the reality of the situation is laid out. And in a way, that's what he does with Dazai. He understands Dazai's hopelessness. He was there, too, we saw it in Untold Stories with a 14 year old Oda.

So... Oda. Dying at 23. He's young. 23 is young. That's like, first real job out of Uni young. But he's been through the ringer and started trying to claw his way to the light. His death is tragic because he never quite made it.

Dazai. 18. Even younger, can barely be considered an adult. He's in the despair trenches now. He's already miserable. He hasn't started really clawing towards the light yet, not really. He's still convinced here that getting further into the "dark side" is what's going to help him find a reason to live. At this point, Oda knows that isn't quite true, he's a little further along in the journey, he found his light in the orphan kids, in spicy curry, he already figured out the light is pretty mundane.

But again. Oda never made it out of the dark. Here's an exchange from before his last words, when Dazai first runs into the hall.

"You're such an idiot, Odasaku. The biggest idiot I know." "Yeah." "You didn't have to do this. You didn't have to die." "I know."

Oda knows there could have been another way out, for this. He chose his death. He saw his lights were gone and he decided that he should go with them. Dazai and Oda are more similar than Oda is given credit for. In a way, in the final battle with Gide... he gave up.

So. His last words to Dazai.

"Listen." Odasaku wrapped his blood-soaked hand around Dazai's. "You told me if you put yourself in a world of violence and bloodshed, you might be able to find a reason to live..." "Yeah, I said that. I did. But what difference does that--?" "You won't find it," Odasaku said in almost a whisper. Dazai stared at him. "You should know that. Whether you're on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity."

This is Oda setting up the reality for Dazai to make his own choice. Oda never really found the light. He's speaking more from his own point of view than what he really believes for Dazai. Dazai, especially during Dark Era, he doesn't really function off of hope. He has it, sure, though he'd never admit it, but that's not a guiding principle for him. But he is pretty feelings-driven for a "logical" character. He felt a little more alive back during that fight with Rimbaud, and decided yeah, he'll join the mafia, to try to recreate that. He doesn't recreate it, as we see in Stormbringer. So he starts messing around again. Whatever. Point being, Dazai is pretty emotion-seeking. He found a lot of those feelings around Oda, because Oda could understand his situation very well. There was an easy comradery in understanding. Oda is appealing to both Dazai's logic and his feelings here.

Also, sidenote, throwback to Dead Apple, and all of Shibusawa's ramblings about nobody ever defying <i>his</i> expectations, and Dazai responding with "you wouldn't be saying all this if you actually had friends." So Oda's words ended up false, later on, when Dazai made actual connections. But Oda didn't know that, he never made it that far.

"Be on the side that saves people," Odasaku replied. "If both sides are the same, then choose to become a good person. Save the weak, protect the orphaned. You might not see a great difference between right and wrong, but… saving others is something just a bit more wonderful." "How do you know?" "I know. Better than anyone else."

So, the last quote, Oda set up the reality. Here's where he lets Dazai make his own choice once he has all the information. Here's where he kind of contradicts himself. He never really says that it will fix Dazai, personally, to join the side of the light. But what Oda is saying is that the world itself would be a little better, possibly a world more suited to helping Dazai find his own light. A different world than the one Oda is leaving.

I've kind of said a lot, but I haven't really answered the original question. So my answer is Oda's words follow his pattern of offering a reality and letting someone make a choice based off it for themselves. He was giving Dazai the tools he needed to make his own decision. Oda was flawed, jaded, and dying at this moment. His words aren't perfect. But Dazai didn't want hope in that moment. That would have been too much for him, I think. There are people in this world that listen to happy songs when they're sad to cheer them up, and there are people that listen to sad songs when they're sad as its a form of catharsis to feel your own emotions resonated with. It helps make sense of them. Dazai is the second type, here. Despite being emotion-driven, he's not super emotionally aware. I think mixing those signals would have done more harm at this point. He didn't need hope, he didn't need told that the world is a magical fairytale place. He needed the catharsis of someone else seeing him, <i>understanding</i> him, and telling him to go be better anyway.

Yes, Oda's last words were kinda cruel, telling Dazai that nothing will ever help. The words of a dying man in grief can't be expected to be cheery. But I do think that if joining the light were presented in any other way it wouldn't have had the impact on Dazai that it did. I'm not saying his last words were great, but I'm saying they were right.

[kunikiiida-kuuun]

Hey, Kris!! Yes, I did notice that Ango is one of your faves, you're one of the few people I see talking about him! He is very underrated, indeed. I'm pretty excited for his part this season, too! His dynamic with Dazai is actually really interesting, how they're both dealing with their guilt over Odasaku's death and how that drives them.

I loved the first episode of S4! I'm so glad they decided to do untold origins! I love Fukuzawa and Ranpo so much and I think they're condensing the story pretty well so far. I really like the monochrome color aesthetic they went with, too. And those crumbs of baby assassin Odasaku! I don't think any of us are ready for the DOA arc to start, my Lord do anime-onlys have a storm coming sdfghjgfhj. Kuni's big moment is going to be very exciting, though! It's such a good hero moment, his absolute commitment to his ideals.

Also, sorry I missed your birthday again, I confused myself because I was late getting the post out last year dfghjhghj. I hope you've been well! And that you have time to watch S4 soon! *hug*

Hey Katie!! ❤️ Apologies for the late response >.< I was occupied with a lot of things but I'm a little more free now!!

Thank you once again for the Ango set you dedicated to me!! :D💕 I don't talk enough about him but Ango is definitely another interesting and very nuanced character in BSD!! I know Oda and Dazai have a special bond, but I like to believe that Dazai somewhere deep inside still cares about Ango, and is deeply hurt by the way things turned out. We'll even get to see Ango's unresolved guilt in this arc oof :') And their dynamic is certainly interesting and funny at the same time. Ango's trust in Dazai, even going to the lengths of lying because he asked him to...I wish we could see more of their interactions lmao. I want to see them open up to each other too but they're both a little emotionally constipated for that I guess ajsklfslfk.

I also really love the quote you used on the gif set you made!! Even if it was just for a moment, and even if the entire idea was impossible to begin with, Ango seemed to indulge in his feelings and forget about the reality for a second and the underlying hopelessness of it all... :')

I'm happy they went with the untold origins too!! It fits the narrative for the next arc and the episode looks great!! Fukuzawa and Ranpo have such a hilarious dynamic throughout the novel and of course baby assassin Odasaku crumbs are much appreciated 🫶

Omg you're so right?? It's truly impossible to be entirely prepared for the upcoming chaos the arc will bring (good luck to the anime-onlys LOL) :') I'm dreading and yet so excited to see Kunikida's heroic moment I don't know what to do with myself hnnnnhh🥲

Do you have any particular moments you're looking forward to? (Apart from the Fyodor vs Dazai chess board match reveal of course XD)

No worries Katie!! ^^💕 I very much appreciate that you decided to post something for me so thank you for the beautiful set 💖💖💖 I hope to see both the episodes in the next few days so I can go crazy in the tags discuss more freely about the episodes heheh! Warm hugs!!! ❤️

[justcafewriter]

Bittersweet

pairing : Oda Sakunosuke x Reader

genre : a mix of fluff and angst (only a little bit of angst i guess ^^;)

warning : contain death

prompt : roasting sweet potato

summary : a bittersweet memory always find its way to you whenever winter come

word count : 2.4K

a/n : another story from a different prompt for the 12 days of cheer collab. the general idea was to have Makoto as the main character and fluff as the genre but I recently have Oda brainrot thanks to my dear friend, Clio :') so here we go.

The sound of your kitchen timer ringed loudly, making you swiftly walk to the kitchen and stop where the oven is and turn it off before you put on your kitchen gloves and open the oven's lid. The smell of roasted sweet potato filled your nostrils, a satisfactory smile appeared on your face as you're checking if it's properly roasted and it did. You look at the clock, it's now 9am and you just need to change your clothes before you're finally ready to go. 15 minutes later, you're already in your bestest outfit, a necklace with a home-shaped pendant decorating your outfit nicely, you're wearing a bit of makeup and let your hair loose. You look at your reflection, smiling as you think that you look the way someone you'll meet like.

After you put on your shoes, you're ready to go with a box of roasted potato in one hand and a bouquet of flowers that you've already arranged yourself in another. A mix of Pink Camelia, Pink Carnation, Red Chrysanthemum and Forget-Me-Not. You look at the bouquet in your hand before your eyes drift to the frames that's standing on the table not too far from the entrance of your apartment.

One of the frames contained a photo of a young man with reddish-brown hair, his azure eyes seemed so gentle as he was smiling happily. Another frame contained a photo of you and that young man, there's a little scribble on that photo saying "first date with Oda ♡". You smile upon seeing those photos, a warm feeling crept inside your heart as you see the smiles both of you wore in that sacred moment.

With a heavy sigh you finally get out from your apartment. The weather is not that nice but you can say that it's not bad either, especially since it's December now. As you're walking, you see a lot of people around, some busying themselves buying gifts for Christmas and you're giving note to yourself to not forget searching for one.

It doesn't take long until you finally arrive at your destination. You're walking toward a big tree and lay a small blanket before you sit on it. You're smiling as you see the one who you want to see resting there.

"I'm here, Oda." You whispered as a gentle smile appeared on your beautiful face. "And I bring roasted potatoes too!"

Suddenly, your mind traced on the first day he finally has courage to talk to you.

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7 years ago

You were eating your favorite curry at your favorite small shop like you usually do when suddenly a tall man with stubble came and asking for 'usual'. You look at his figure before you try to continue eating your food. Yes, try. Because the man who just came was also the reason why you keep coming back to the shop. He gave you this mysterious aura which told you to not get too close to him but also at the same time you drew to him and your eyes landed on nothing but him.

Silent filled the room, only the sound of the chef (also the owner) cooking could be heard when suddenly the man beside you asked, "How's the kids?" which was answered with, "Like usual." By the chef.

Again, silence filled the room. You try to continue to eat when suddenly the man beside you said, "Do you like sweet potatoes?" You paid him no mind since you thought that he was probably talking to the chef again but then you felt a pair of eyes looking at you, so you were looking at your right only to be watched by a pair of beautiful azure eyes. You tried your best to not spit on your food because you swear that the curry seems like entering the wrong hole.You tried to gulp down that damn curry before you sipped the cold water beside your plates.

"You're asking me?" You asked, looking at him with your doe eyes, you saw a tint of pink appear on his cheeks.

"Ah, sorry if I'm being rude and yes I was asking you." He said as he rubbed his hair.

"I.. I like sweet potatoes." You said again, you weren't lying, it's not like you love them by lots but you enjoy eating them.

"Good. So you wouldn't mind to join us later? If you have time of course." A sheepishly smile appeared on his face.

Your face brightened at the invitation, not gonna lie, you were so interested at this man so having him inviting you was something that you'd like to have.

"Well, what time is later?" You asked, no matter how happy you feel you need to play it cool.

"Uhm.. later as in after we finished our meal." He answered. "I heard a saying that said, 'women have another stomach for dessert'."

"Well it's very much true and I feel like I need to accept your invitation, especially if it's coming from a gentleman like you." You said and the moment you said it, that man knew that you were a very special person and he knew that you would change him in any way possible.

"My name is Oda Sakunosuke." That man said while stretching out his hand.

"My name is Y/N." You said, while gripping that man's hand. The moment his large hand wrapping yours, you knew that you couldn't escape to fall for him more deeply.

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"Y/N-san! Odasaku! come here, come here. Sakura has practiced her singing skill and she will sing for us!" Kousuke, the oldest kid of orphaned children who Oda adopted said as he was welcoming you and Oda. It has been a year since you were dating Oda and you've met the kids countless times so they already welcomed you like you're always belonged there. Oda never knew why he introduced the kids to you and told you that he adopted them all. Well, he knew why. He wanted to know how your reaction would be. He was glad when he saw that you were very much okay with him having kids despite he was only 21 years old at that time.

"Oh, Y/N-san! You brought a lot of sweet potatoes!" Another child named Katsumi said after he appeared from nowhere.

"Yes, I'm gonna make roasted sweet potatoes because Odasaku said that you guys like them and we couldn't enjoy them that much last year."

"Your roasted potatoes taste so delicious." The youngest kid, Sakura, said as she approached you. The rest of two kids also joined you and Oda while they were agreeing to what Sakura said.

"Okay, okay. Odasaku and I will clean the sweet potatoes before we roast them so you all can prepare things in the living room and clean it up a bit. You say you will help uncle right?" You said and all the kids accepting your guidance before they stormed into the living room.

"How can they listen to you so well?" Oda said once the kids left the kitchen as he approached you. He wrapped his hands around your waist before he inhaled your scent and put his lip close to your jawline before he kissed it, that gesture made you turn around so you were facing him and process to kiss his lips before saying, "It's a secret."

A laugh erupted from both of you. Oda then pulled you closer to him before he planted a kiss on your lips, a passionate one if you could tell. The kiss made your feet feel like jelly and your lips burned in sensation of his sweet, honey taste lips. His stubble roughly rubbed the skin around your mouth but it didn't give you any effect to pull away.

"Uhm!!" You heard someone try to disturb the moment you have with Oda so you broke the kiss only to find the oldest kid, Kousuke gave you a 'what-the-hell-are-you-doing' look. "Sorry to interrupt but the potatoes won't roast themselves aren't they?" He snickered.

You and Oda were stuttering as you both tried to reasoning your action. Fast forward, all the seven of you were already in the living room with a warm roasted potato on the table and warm green tea accompanied it.

You were listening to Sakura singing a Christmas song then after that you were just listening to the kids rumbling about their days before finally the show that the kid wanted to watch has started. It was suddenly quiet, you were sitting in the back with Oda sitting beside you and his hand was around your waist. You put your head on his shoulder as you also lingered your hands around his torso. Both of you sit there in silence, watching the kids immersed in the movie that they watched.

After the movie finished, you saw the kids were all sleeping. Oda then moved them one by one to their bedroom with you helping him by preparing their bed and tucked them once Oda put them on their bed. After you tucked the last kid, both of you look at the sight of five angelic kids sleeping figures and you couldn't help but feel the warmness inside your heart and you knew Oda felt the same because you felt a pair of strong arms lingering around your waist as he hugged you from behind.

"One day… One day we will move from this town, we'll move to another place near the beach, where the kids can run as far as possible, where the kids can enjoy much sunshine while they're playing outside, where they will have baby siblings and play with them and teach them one thing or two. I, I'm sorry for being so selfish but please bear with me a little more. I promise you everything will be better." You heard Oda say those words before he kissed your crown. You, on the other side felt your tears run down to your cheeks.You knew about his occupation yet you still accept him and love him with all your might. Mafia who doesn't kill. That was what his colleagues called him. And you knew the reason why, he told you about it, about his dream, about how he wanted to be a writer, how he wanted to have a house with a window facing the ocean as he wrote the continuation of his favorite book. He shared his dream with you, shared his obsession and you were very much so supporting to his idea.

"I will wait as much as possible if it's come to you. To the kids that I thought of my own. That's how much I love you, Oda." You whispered but it was loud enough for Oda to hear.

You felt Oda broke the hug before he asked you to close your eyes and you did. Suddenly you felt a cold metal at the crook of your neck, then he told you to open your eyes. The first thing you did was to look down and there you saw a necklace with a house-shaped pendant. You ask him what it was about and he told you that it was a token, a token to what he promised to you; the next stage of relationship.

You couldn't help but crying at his explanation, he was so shocked because that wasn't the reaction that he expected.

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It was less than a year when you heard news from Oda's friend, Dazai, that Oda was seriously injured. Your head was spinning like crazy and your heart was beating so fast it felt like it'd burst out from your body anytime. The time when you come to where Dazai told you, Oda was long gone, his body already cold and lifeless. That was when your world sinked into hell, when your heart broke into pieces it couldn't be repaired, when you couldn't even scream in pain as you saw a lifeless body that belonged to a man who you loved dearly.

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A single tear escapes from your eyes as you reminisce the memory of your now deceased fiance. You saw his name engraved on the tombstone in front of you before you put the bouquet that you bring on top of his grave. It has been 4 years since Oda left you, and you also learnt about the kids he adopted, that they were also already dead because they caught up in Oda's last mission. Another tears escapes and run down to your cheeks, you try to hold it because you already swore to only show Oda your happy side, to not make him worry when he's watching you from heaven above.

"It's okay to cry." You hear a familiar voice of Oda's friend, Dazai. "I bet that's what Oda would say to you." He says again as he's walking towards your direction.

You saw him holding a small bouquet of flowers.

"Zinnia. Thoughts of absent friends." You say as you look at the flower.

"Longing for you, I'll never forget you, I love you and True love memories." Dazai says after he placed his bouquet next to yours. "Odasaku was so lucky to meet you." He says again.

"Both of us are lucky to meet each other, but not lucky enough to be together in this life." You smile bitterly as you spit on your last words. The words are surely hurt and the reality you're facing now is surely cruel and Dazai knew what kind of hell you've been through after you learnt a sadistic truth 4 years ago, after you learnt the fact that you lost the most important person in your life.

"I still feel thankful that you live your life to your best, that you carry out Oda's dream and even you're doing more than he can do. You build an orphanage, you're taking care of unfortunate children and I'm sure Oda is gonna be proud of you." Dazai says as he pat your head, like a big bro he is.

"That's the only thing I can do." You say.

"It's getting cold now, let me take you home." Dazai offers and you decide that it's the time you need to go.

"Till then, Oda." You says before you rub his tombstone and accepting Dazai's offer to take your hand and walk with him, leaving a bittersweet memory behind you as you leave the cemeteries.

collab taglist: @animatedarchives @azxmii @yamaguchi-stan