#ocean o'connell rosenberg x mischa bachinski | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sincerely-astra · 9 days ago

Note

Uh... If your requests are open, can i request Yandere polychoir (the choir) with a Mikan Tsumuki!Reader (A darling that acts like Mikan, or even is Mikan herself, danganronpa and rtc is a crossover i never imagined so-)? Thanks in advance!! ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

☁️Yandere Choir x Mikan Tsumiki!Reader🌧️

⚠️WARNING: General yandere content, mentions of fighting, abuse, scars, and possibly more! This is also geared towards a fem reader, but I'm sure you can switch around some things if you wish to read it differently.⚠️

Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg:

Omg, Hi!! Welcome to the choir Constance 2.0!

Yeah, Ocean is pretty quick to treat you like Constance the first time you meet. You're both shy, insecure, and gullible, why wouldn't she?

This goes on for maybe 5 minutes minimum before Ocean is introduced to probably the most notable thing about you..., just how unbelievably clumsy you are. No lie, in the time she managed to meet you and go over to Father Marcus to ask questions about their upcoming competition, you had already managed to trip over (seemingly) thin air and fall face down, ass up.

...Ocean will admit that she definitely wouldn't have written you off so quickly if she knew this was how you were.

Look, she's met her fair share of clumsy people, but the way you just kept falling every time you tried to get up while bawling your eyes out stunned even her.

And yet, when she manages to shake off the shock of your less-than-stellar first impression, Ocean is quick to make up her mind about you.

See, in the time she has known your sorry soul, she has now made it her mission to help you baby you!

Dead serious though, she babies you so much... You pretty much can't do anything without hearing a, "Oh! No, no, no sweetie, let me do that for you!" From her.

On the bright side though, she can be surprisingly comforting (albeit, a bit condescending) when you accidentally fall or if your anxiety gets the better of you and you start sobbing mid-rehearsal.

Speaking of you sobbing mid-rehearsal, anytime you get upset like that and start offering to do some less-than-appropriate things for your fellow choir members, Ocean lowkey starts to feel really bad for you, like, way more than before. Your personalities are on two different extreme ends and while she can't understand why you say or do the things that you do (seriously, please stop asking her if she wants you to take your clothes off, she promises, she really doesn't-) she does want to help you past these feelings and grow more confident.

Right after she says you can't hurt yourself by being away from her for too long.

As mentioned before, with your extremely different personalities and your, quite frankly, fragile sense of self, even Ocean just feels incredibly bad for you. Really, you have super low self-esteem, you offer things that you really shouldn't be to people who could take advantage of you, you're super clumsy, and so on and so forth. Just the way cry and apologizes over and over makes her pretty much the softest person around... She'll be the one who ends up apologizing! Do you understand how strange that is to everyone else?!

She cannot stand seeing you cry, you are way too precious for that.

Ocean also very much cherishes the few moments when you can be calm, usually when talking about medicine or things related to that. It's like seeing a whole other side to you and she does admire how knowledgable you are.

She is also definitely taking notes on everything you talk about because she likes to know what topics get you in a good mood and what ones to stay away from.

It's so weird because even she'll admit that she used to be very focused on herself and becoming the "best version" of herself she could be, but now she finds herself looking out for you more and more as the days pass... Ocean so frequently finds herself worried on how you are whenever she can't see you and has seriously debated multiple times in convincing you to change your courses just so you'll be in the same classes. Choir just isn't enough for her! :(

There was this one time when you and Ocean were walking to choir together after school, mainly just Ocean telling you her plans for the future and how she's gonna get there, only for her to suddenly trip on some uneven concrete and scrap her knees pretty badly. In the moment, she was feeling a lot like you suddenly-

Ocean was quick to get up, trying to suppress the tears that prickled in her eye ducts from the sudden pain. She was totally good to just keep walking to the choir room, doing rehearsals, and going to the nurses after school, and that's what she was going to do until you suddenly grabbed her shoulder to stop her from walking.

You insisted on patching up her knees before rehearsal, mentioning how they could get infected and how it would only hurt more if she left it untreated. Ocean really did try to deny it, the others were waiting for them and education waits for no one! But you weren't having it...

Cue you somehow pulling out a few bandaids and some rubbing alcohol from your bag, none of which Ocean was even going to begin questioning why you have. She couldn't even if she wanted to because... as embarrassing as it was, she found you absolutely stunning in the moment. Your focused expression and precise movements struck a chord with her as you got to work, a blush escaping on her cheeks while she stared at your crouched form.

You just seemed so different than what she was so used to..., even when there were those few moments of calm between you two while you explained the intricacies of medicine to her, there was always that barrier that made you unable to fully just relax and be yourself... But now that barrier was basically nonexistent, your usually anxiety-ridden and insecure nature being replaced by a calm, confident one that Ocean had to admit she found incredibly attractive. She liked that you can be yourself around her, even if it's in a moment like this. She wants to see more of it.

As quick as a bunny running from its prey is how fast she fell for you, all in a matter of a few seconds she felt it crash down on her heart and bring her new thoughts she had never thought she would entertain before.

I don't think I can say enough that Ocean infantilizes you, but now that she has a crush on you, that might just get 100x worse. You cannot do a thing without her peering over your shoulder and basically doing everything for you (minus anything to do with being a nurse since she loves watching you do that.) It's not like you can really say anything about it either considering you can barely stand up for yourself as it is...

It's unfortunately just a fact of life now.

She also uses this weird relationship with you to be as close as possible, like she'll do things clearly meant for couples but she always reassures you that "it's just what friends do."

This means you are gonna get smooched everywhere except the lips, a lot. (She gets too nervous to do the lips since she surprisingly wants to actually be dating you before that-)

This also means a lot of touching because Ocean is touch-starved.

Side note, you definitely want to ignore the way she stares at you 24/7, nothing weird about that at all, nope. Very normal behavior on her part.

There comes a point where Ocean, being the girl she is, gets extremely pushy when it comes to learning more about her girlfriend's friend's home life and life before St. Cassian. Look, when you act the way you do, can you blame her for being a little curious?

And sure, you did try to maneuver around the subject and not talk about it since it brings up bad memories. Ocean has thankfully been teaching you how to actually say no to people so this was a good start until you immediately caved cause Ocean started to look a little frustrated (she was not at all.)

You were pretty quick to crack and you immediately gave Ocean every detail she wanted to know, from your parent's abuse to your less-than-stellar schooling experiences, Ocean knew it all.

Oh my god does Ocean have some choice words for people and even more actions she wants done to them. She is so brimming with silent rage that by the time you get done she has to physically have to tightly hold on to her seat to stop herself from running out of there to beat people up verbally and physically.

Ocean even hates physical violence but she is 100% on board with it when it comes to your peers and parents.

There was a long period of silence after you finished telling everything as she needed to calm herself down before she continued to talk to you, and you were sure you did something wrong... How could you not when her eye was twitching and her hands were clenched to the seat of her chair?

After a good minute of tense silence, you started to apologize and make various offers to make it up to her, saying how you shouldn't have thrown such a pity party for yourself and saying you pretty much deserved the abuse anyway, anything to get her to talk to you, to not ignore you.

When I say she so quickly grabbed your hands and was so quick to denounce everything you just said. This was in no way, shape, or form, your fault and it was so disheartening to hear you say that it was. Ocean is in no way good at comforting people, she is aware of this, but there was no one in the world she wanted to try comforting harder for than you. You are the sweetest, caring, and most intelligent individual she's ever had the pleasure of meeting and she would rather die than have you not know that! (Too late for that one I guess-)

Many hugs were given and tears were shed that day.

Also many broken bones and a spike in reported abuse cases, but we're just gonna move on from that.

Ocean loves you unlike any other, she's never even felt this way about someone and legitimately thought she was incapable of it.

You are such a breath of fresh air in this dingy, unremarkable school and town, like a singular ray of sunshine on an otherwise cloudy day.

She adores the color of your hair, the bandages that cling to your arms and legs, your smile, your handwriting, and everything about you. You're just in a different league compared to everyone else she's met..., even above her own which she was surprised to think about.

She seriously does have to stop herself from combusting on the spot anytime you "trip" into an intimate position...

Sometimes, Ocean will deliberately take your stuff and hide it from you just so she can "look for it" with you, find it, and be praised by you.

All she asks in return is a smooch :) (And your undying loyalty-)

So, as much as Ocean adores and loves you, she does have a tendency to push your self-esteem down at times because she is insecure that if you get too confident you'll leave her for someone you actually deserve.

Ocean will also not let you speak to anyone outside the choir or the people who you are required to for the very same reason, but she uses the excuse that everyone will bully her and she shouldn't be around people like that.

Noel Gruber:

The way Noel meets you is... unconventional at best.

He finds himself speed walking to the choir room, determined to get there before Ocean so he can turn the tables and scold her for once, only to hear a crash as he pulls down the handle on the door... He was wholeheartedly prepared to deal with their frequent rat problem, thinking nothing of the crash as he walked into the room, eyes already scanning the floor for the hairy, grey pests.

That's when his eyes lock on your form sprawled out across the floor in a way he didn't even know was humanly possible... Music sheets and pencils are scattered everywhere. He's not a jerk, of course, so he quickly shook off his confusion and helped you up... before you tripped yet again and pulled him down with you.

He can already tell that you will have a lot to deal with.

And he was right, upon learning you were a new addition to the choir, he was also quick to learn of your eccentric personality.

Quite frequently when you would get something wrong during practice or one of your few shared classes, you would offer anyone who would listen to a variety of "services," most of which everyone would uncomfortably turn down.

You would also let people walk all over you, making you a prime suspect for bullying but also, to Noel's annoyance, a perfect target for Ocean's shenanigans which included lots of things, making sure he got to choir on time being one of them.

He definitely isn't saying you are all bad, you have a nice voice and he has to admit, he is a fan of your aesthetic.

What he is saying though, is that he doesn't see you much differently from Constance or Penny and often chooses to stay away from you, despite his concerns for your wellbeing at times.

Seriously, with how often your personality can go from 0 to 100 it's a wonder how you have the emotional strength to make it through the day.

Nevertheless, his plans of avoiding you were going swimmingly! You didn't really talk to him during choir, much less during class, so he didn't have to try all too hard to not associate with you.

That was until he was informed both of your English teachers were going to assign partners for an upcoming partner project... Guess who he got stuck with.

No really, guess.

As much as Noel wanted to beg your teacher to rethink her decision and let him work alone, he just decided to suck it up. You aren't all that bad and it was one project that you both can get done quickly and he can go back to ignoring your presence.

Unfortunately, life seems to love laughing at him recently.

The project itself wasn't too difficult, just pick a few poems by some more obscure poets and write a paper on how they all connect to a theme of your choosing.

It would be no issue at all to go to one of your houses after school for a couple of days and finish it all up. The house you chose was Noel's as you were weirdly incessant about not going to your place... Whatever, he certainly wasn't going to complain.

For the next few days, you both did what you needed to and Noel got to know you a little more during your breaks. Sure, you were still pretty emotional and he had to shut down your weird offers every time they were brought up, but he was surprised to find a more calm side to you.

Maybe it was the fact that you were in the safety of his home or maybe it was because Noel had proven not to have any ulterior motives during the span of this project, but eventually, you managed to be calmer and happier during the time you two spent together. It was easy to talk to him, it was so easy just to relax and not have your fight-or-flight response put into overdrive at every opportunity.

It was nice to be near someone who wouldn't judge you. Even if he did, it was almost always in a teasing manner.

That's why you were to grow on him, quick to be able to feel like a normal teenager, quick to enjoy his company.

Likewise, Noel had grown to like you too. You were actually a lot more mature and thoughtful than many others gave you credit for, he felt like you could understand his need for tragedy.

You could potentially understand him.

That's why after the project was over and his plans for ignoring you once more were supposed to commence, he instead did a complete 180 and kept talking to you.

You walk to choir together, he helps you avoid bullies, he lets you stay over at his house more often, all the typical friend stuff.

By far though, his favorite thing to do with you is to have mini-fashion shows. He knows better than anyone that it's childish, but that does not stop him from having the biggest grin on his face when he watches your face light up as he is dressed as Monique.

Once he actually saves up enough money to get you a decent phone (because you can not tell me Mikan would even have a phone, to begin with,) you guys have a ton of shared music playlists with different vibes associated with each of them. Noel also will be teaching you what real music sounds (It's a lot of Will Wood, Mitski, and TV Girl-)

Noel is practically begging you to come with him for his Taco Bell shifts, he needs someone to shit talk to so he doesn't actually go insane.

When it comes to your talent, Noel is kind of iffy on it...

On one hand, it is a very convenient talent to have and he likes seeing how passionate you are about it, on the other hand, most people aren't that well-versed in medicine unless there is a reason and he really doubts that reason is just because you're clumsy...

He isn't going to push you, he really isn't, he's just worried... So worried that he can't stop hinting at it, so worried that eyes instinctively gaze down to your bandaged-up arms every time you hang out, so worried that he finds himself trying to reassure you that you can talk to him if anything is bothering you even if you already knew that.

He really wants to know, but he won't push it.

So whenever you do tell him and spill out the reasons why you act the way you do, the reasons for your constant injuries, and the reasons for knowing so much about medicine, he is beyond livid.

Not at you, of course, he could never be mad at you, but just hearing excuse your parents, "friends," and bullies' behavior makes him genuinely so angry. In no world is that okay, especially when they do that to you of all people.

He might be comforting you at the moment, holding you close, and explaining to you how none of the abuse that's occurred is your fault, but all he wants to do is find those people and give them a taste of what's coming to them.

But you need him right now, so he pushes those thoughts away as he rubs circles into your back and shushes your cries.

If you thought for a second that Noel was going to just let you go live back with your parents when they are treating you so horribly, then you are dead wrong. From this moment on, you might as well change your last name to Gruber because you are being adopted.

Noel's house isn't the biggest thing either, but he is also looking forward to sharing a room with you. It would be nice to look after you and make sure you are happy and healthy.

Many more movie nights will also be occurring with "The Blue Angel" being the main attraction. No, you cannot watch another movie before you both watch this one, it's the rule when living with him.

Side note, as much as it seems like a good idea to let Noel cut your hair, do not let him do it. You will regret it.

As your new, official sibling, Noel will be making sure you stay with him at all times, you have to catch up on all the time you missed.

He will also be heavily encouraging you to wear his clothes since you don't have many to begin with and it gives a chance for some of Monique's more modest clothing to be used. (Also makes other boys stay away from you.)

Noel praises you and teases you heavily, it's either one or the other all the time. The true sibling experience is not one where you are nice to each other all the time after all.

Noel knows you can handle yourself, but he can't help but treat you like glass from time to time... Can you blame him? You just made it out of a really abusive situation and he doesn't want to be the cause of any of your pain.

So don't blame him when he purposefully makes you miss your hangouts with friends or cancels any appointment you may have so you'll be safe inside with him.

He tries to not appear it, but he does really want to learn more about medicine and whatnot. Not only is it good to know, but he also wants to be able to patch you up if you can't yourself.

Do you remember the phone I mentioned earlier? Yeah well, get ready for that to have a ton of restrictions from the parental controls. Noel will not have you tainted by the horrors of the internet if he can help it.

Another side note...

...He does like to watch you sleep sometimes, he finds it calming.

Mischa Bachinski:

Mischa had been pretty much the last of the choir to meet you, all due to the fact that he doesn't share any classes with you and he skips choir super frequently...

You both actually met during a lunch period where Noel had practically dragged Mischa to sit with the rest of the choir so he wouldn't be alone in dealing with Ocean. So without much of a choice, he sits right next to Noel at a table you all secured in the cafeteria and across from you.

You had immediately caught his eye as soon as he sat down and as much as he wouldn't admit it, your appearance had piqued his interest. Though, he didn't give you much thought after that, why should he? You're just going to be like every other girl he's met here.

And then you started speaking, which caught even more of his interest. Your personality was extreme compared to the likes of Constance or Penny and the exact opposite extreme of Ocean. You were meek, overwhelmingly apologetic, and would burst into tears the moment anyone did anything even slightly negative towards you.

If you could make the town of Uranium even somewhat less boring then he is 100% willing to let you into his small world.

From that point forward he had actually tried to speak to you a few times, mainly from the pushing of Talia and Noel as they both wished to see him expand his social circle a bit. And every single time, with no doubt, he would always find something new that interested him.

For example, while talking to you during a break in choir, he found out just how clumsy you could be as when you stood and started walking towards the exit door of the classroom after excusing yourself to the restroom, you promptly tripped over the risers and fell.

Then comes the weird positions you would find yourself in..., he always makes sure to look away whenever that happens because he is loyal to Talia! He will help you up though, just not while looking at you.

He does find your constant need for reassurance and the crying that comes along with that to get a bit irritating at times, but he really does try his best not to be too mean when that happens since it is obvious to everyone that you are going through a lot, even if he doesn't know exactly what.

Mischa really does pity you, you are just so easy to scare into submission and he knows he can't be the only person who's found that out... He knows there's got to be others taking advantage of you and that really upsets him for reasons he can't explain.

So Mischa had made it his mission to help you! Even if he doesn't quite get why, Talia does tell him that it's a good idea and she is never wrong.

Mischa helps you build up your confidence by praising you and making you do daily affirmations, which actually does help somewhat as you now aren't always second-guessing everything you do anymore!

He also teaches you some breathing techniques for you to feel yourself getting overwhelmed when you feel the need to cry which Noel also helps with. Noel is also better at the two when explaining it- Mischa is better at giving a physical example.

And when it comes to you being clumsy, that's not really something Mischa can help with... But he does try to catch you now if he notices you're going down.

While spending so much time with Mischa, you two quickly become friends.

This also means with you being one of the only female friends in his life that he will take anything related to Talia to you if he can't figure it out... Which is not really the best idea since you've never had any female friends either-

Mischa is really glad to have your help though and just to have you as a friend in general since he only really considers Noel a friend out of the choir and he gets a little lonely sometimes... Noel gets busy with work and school, Talia is in a very different timezone than him so she can't always chat, and his foster parents literally hate his guts, it's nice to have one friend who will always be there you know?

You also need to repay him for helping you out. /hj

...Okay, he definitely won't admit this to anyone, not even himself, but he finds your laugh the cutest thing in the world.

Mischa isn't really surprised to find out you have bullies. It is something he predicted before he became friends with you and he sees how others might misconstrue your personality with how extreme it can be, but does that stop him from wanting to curb stomp every single one of them? Nope.

In fact, that makes him even angrier since they never took the time to get to know you, and like how people do to him, they also take your initial impression at face value and don't try to see how you are deep down. The difference between him and you though is that he is more than capable of protecting himself in those scenarios, you on the other hand...

Welp, you don't have to worry about a thing! Only a fool would still try to mess with you when Mischa is literally strapped to your side like a guard dog. :)

It's kind of obvious that you don't know much about pop culture or music (because of your parent's refusal to get you anything) so Mischa will have to teach you everything you need to know... This means you will know a lot of random rappers, the discourse surrounding them, and a lot of cultural music and culture in general from Ukraine.

You also learn some Ukrainian from him and he has to stop his heart from skipping a beat every time you speak it to him-

Your accent is just so adorable--

While being friends, he is also quick to know of your vast medical knowledge and while none of it really interests him, he will ask you questions about it because he likes to hear you speak so passionately about something you love.

He loves it when you are both calm and when you are on the extreme. There is never a day where he wishes you weren't you.

So, he's always known that because of how knowledgeable you were about medicine you were also good at actually doing the trade, but when he first watched you do it, it was like watching a whole other person!

You were calm, collected, and very precise with your movements, nothing at all like the fidgety, anxiety-ridden girl he's known.

It weirded him out a little at first since it was a pretty big change, but he got used to it over time and actually enjoys the change of pace from time to time.

He hurt himself just so you would treat him?? What..., no.....

There are some moments where you are reminded of his mom when you use your talent, because being a single mom in a lower-class area, she too was pretty proficient at medicine (obviously nowhere near the skill you are at of course.)

The thought makes him smile.

Even with all the help and coping strategies he's given you, you do sometimes break down and revert back to old habits.

When that happens though, he just holds you and helps you get back on track, no matter how long that takes.

Like with the whole bully situation, Mischa had an inkling that something else may be going on in your life..., something obviously not positive, but being that you didn't speak about your home life all that much, he was never sure what that could be. He did try to subtly ask a few times, to try and pry you to answer the questions that were burning in his mind as of late, but to no avail.

It came to a point where he just stopped asking, figuring you'll tell him when the time comes, and even if he was extremely curious (and worried,) he would begrudgingly wait for that day. That day comes in the form of him going to your house for the first time.

Of course, you never wanted him to visit your home... But Mischa's place was sometimes not an option due to his parents "accidentally" locking him out without a way to get back in and with how the weather could be... There was just this day when you had no choice but to go to your house. Even if it was the last thing you wanted, you couldn't find another excuse not to.

By the time you two had walked a good distance away from school in the more shady part of downtown, your footsteps had become noticeably slower as you both reached the home Mischa could only assume was yours. The home itself was pretty run down and the smell left a lot to be desired..., but then again, it was better than nothing and Mischa wasn't going to judge something you couldn't control.

You had let him wait outside with the excuse that you needed to tell your parents your friend was over, a seemingly harmless reason Mischa had no reason to deny as he nodded and let you go on your way. The actual reason was to make sure your parents weren't there at all..., your hand shook while you opened the door as you hoped to whatever god was out there that they would just be anywhere but here.

It took a minute, about 8 to exact before Mischa started to hear shouting... The poorly maintained house did little to muffle the sounds of crying, yelling, screaming, etc. He could hear three voices, two he didn't recognize of a man and woman... and yours.

He could feel his body stiffen, his adrenaline starting to pump through his veins and he heard the sounds of glass being shattered on the ground... It really didn't take long for Mischa to rush into your home, panicked as desperately tried to get to you, to see if you were okay. The whole moment felt like a flash as the next thing he knew he was holding you close and you both walked back to his home, scrapes and blood littering your body while your cries and gasps for air filled the air around you too.

Taking a moment to stop, dry your tears, and rub soothing circles into your back, his mouth felt unable to move..., unable to use his words to comfort you as he was not too sure how... He tried to think back to how his mother, his actual mom, would comfort him, his new "parents'" harsh demeanors have made his skills of kindness and comfort dull by now, but he had to try, for you.

Whispering whatever soothingly words in Ukrainian he could muster, having you cry on his shoulder as you cried out apologies and "offers," he thinks back on the moment at your house. Although his memory is still a little fuzzy..., he remembers seeing your parent's drunken, drugged-up figures hovering over you as they shouted and screamed at you through mumbled words he could make sense of. A bottle had been thrown before he came into your living room it was shattered all over the ground, you being the clear culprit of the hit and begged for them to stop.

So much was happening at one time and he felt such heavy rage he'd never felt before boil over inside of him, making him run over and fight your parents off of you, which wasn't hard considering how messed up they were in the moment, he then grabbed you and left. He had no way of knowing your living situation was that bad... and yet he still blames himself for not knowing anyway.

Mischa shakes his head, your breathing evening out as the tears slowly come to a stop and you calm down. Running a hand through your hair unconsciously, Mischa made a silent vow at this moment to protect you from those people and anyone else who made you feel like this.

He wasn't going to lose someone else special to him in this lifetime if he had anything to say about it.

Safe to say that Mischa is officially attached! ...Which may or may not be a good thing.

He's always very adamant that you stay with him, both during school and out of school. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if anything else happened to you..., not to mention there's always this weird feeling of dread in his chest anytime you have to leave him. He swears you need him but in reality, he needs you.

And then there's Talia.

Mischa, for what it's worth, never stopped loving Talia. He still called and texted her every day, would make songs for her, and devoted his earnings to going back to Ukraine for her, everything he did was still ultimately for her!

...

But that didn't mean he also didn't lessen his attention to her. By adding you to his life and list of people he would die for, you take up a good chunk of his time. Maybe it was just the fact that you two were in the same timezone or maybe it was because you were closer, whatever it was, Talia had noticed him not replying to her as often and their calls getting shorter...

Talia really wanted to say this new development didn't get to her, but how would you feel if your boyfriend who lived in another country made a new female friend who he was spending all his time with? Of course, she's going to get a little jealous..., so much so that her family starts to notice something is wrong with her.

Now, Talia has never told her family about Mischa, she knew they would be unaccepting of her going out with some guy on the internet and would likely cut her off from him. So whenever they started to notice something was wrong and started to pressure her into saying what was up..., she knew exactly what was going to happen as the words "My boyfriend in Canada-" fell out of her mouth.

Her parents were obviously quick to disapprove, scolding her about internet safety and the like. They were also quite furious at her for not telling them sooner..., so furious that they made her cease contact with him immediately, going so far as to make her block him in front of them. The smallest amount of grace they gave her was allowing her to send one last message as a goodbye before blocking him out of her life..., before cutting her off from her beloved fiance right before he could come to her.

Before they even had a chance to see each other face to face.

Without much of a choice, Talia wrote one last goodbye filled with sappy words, stories, and wishes for him to be well, all before her finger eventually pressed on his contact and blocked his number forever.

Mischa knew Uranium was a terrible place, he knew it would only ever bring him misery and heartbreak ever since he stepped off the plane into Canada. Uranium was the worst.

It took away his mother... and now it took away his beloved Natalia.

Mischa and Talia's breakup hit Mischa hard, he got the message as soon as he woke up only a few hours after speaking to her... He couldn't- no, didn't want to believe his eyes as he read her message in his native tongue, each word making his heart beat faster as tears formed in his eyes. She was breaking off her engagement to him. They were no longer going to get married.

No matter how much time had passed after he read that message, he was still freaking out the moment she read it. He had skipped school that day entirely as he just sat in bed and stared at his phone. It was so hard to believe that the girl he loved with his entire being, who said she too loved him just as much, and the girl who accepted his proposal was not being ripped away from his life without him even getting a word in. His number and profile were blocked on every social media account he could think of, and his number was likely erased in her phone too...

Uranium was awful, Canada was awful, and this life was awful. Every time he thinks he's seeing the good in the world, every time he picks himself up from being pushed down, every time he thinks it couldn't possibly get any worse, it does.

Worse of all he has no one to talk to about this... Well, except for you.

As soon as school was over, he texted you to come to his house with no further explanation, though you didn't need one to see that something was wrong. Upon arriving, awkwardly getting passed his parents and into the basement, it was immediately clear to you that Mischa was not doing well... He hadn't moved an inch from his bed all day, he had eaten the meals that were left outside his door, he hadn't even touched his phone as it lay on the floor beside him.

He couldn't bring himself to move as you near him, his expression just exhausted as tears had stained his cheeks. Mentally, you were freaking out as you couldn't imagine what could have led him to such a state but before you ask what had happened he managed to turn to face you and pat the spot beside him, urging you lay next to him. That turned into him hugging you as you could only comfort him in the ways that he comforted you, by rubbing circles into his back, sometimes stroking his hair, and nervously whispering whatever words of comfort you could while he basked in your attention.

This had gone on for a while before he explained what happened, how Talia called off their engagement because of her parents, and how the love of his life had just left him... He left himself vulnerable to you because you were the only person he could trust with doing so, the only person he trusted to see how hurt he was. And as bad and hurt as you felt for Mischa, there wasn't much you could do but continue laying with him and comforting him. These things take time to heal from and you can't change that.

Mishca was grateful for that at least. He was grateful to have you by his side even if his whole world was collapsing around you two..., he was thankful you were the piece of his world that stayed together.

What Mischa failed to realize would happen through the weeks of his healing through his breakup was that he noticed a change in how he felt about you... Well, maybe it wasn't a change and it's always how he's felt, but he's only now started to notice the warmth that fills his being every time you are near him. He's finally noticed how complete you make him, how much you make Uranium bearable, how much he likes you.

...

How much he loves you.

...

Oh..., he loves you? The words felt foreign when directed at you, but that didn't make his mind stop racing anytime your hands touched or the blush from spreading on his cheeks anytime you praised him.

As minutes, hours, days, weeks, flew by, Mischa stopped thinking about his breakup and about Talia completely. Sure, at one point he did love Talia but that just wasn't meant to be, not when he had you right in front of him. Not when he has you who would never hurt him like she had..., right?

You were too nice, too perfect for that.

God, he loves you so much that it makes him giddy and that is one hell of a feat.

Mischa and Talia's breakup really bummed him out for a while and stopped his motivation to write music, but with you around, he finds all of that lost passion coming back to him! Do make sure he paces himself though, lest the burnout of writing 5 different raps in a week gets to him.

Has he ever mentioned how pretty you are? Because he is dead serious when he says that you are the most gorgeous girl he's laid eyes on, your beauty rivaling that of the moon, stars, and literally everything else.

Whenever you sleep over at his house, you both usually sleep on opposite sides of Mischa's pullout couch out of respect for each other's boundaries, but in the morning you two definitely wake up tangled in one another. Mischa may or may not be doing it on purpose too..., who's to say?

If you ever compliment him in Ukrainian, he might just die on the spot, I'm not kidding.

Mischa always feels a little guilty when you fuss over his injuries after he beat some certain bullies up, but it's still nice to have you care for him.

And if you wish, he will be more than happy to do the same for you! He is not the best at medicine, but he is a fast learner if you decide to teach him. He also loves how intimate bandaging up your scars is.

He would still prefer if you didn't get any of them though..., please.

Mischa, for whatever reason, is a very big scent person. Smell can bring him back to the best times of his life and your scent always brings a feeling of calm to wash over him.

That's his excuse for why he has so many of your clothes in his room.

...Okay, so it's not his best moments but Mischa does intentionally scare you sometimes so you'll stay with him. He'll make remarks about how everyone else just wants to use you and how he doesn't want others to hurt you again, how couldn't you trust this man when all he wants is the best for you?

His favorite place to kiss you (totally platonic ofc-) would be your cheeks.

He 100% has a secret recording of your voice that he listens to when he's alone at night, he just needs something to hold him over before he can see you again!

He knows it's gross, but he also sometimes keeps some of your old bandages-

No words can describe how protective Mischa is of you, like, he legitimately treats you as if you were glass. He will also tell you as such, that you are too nice and fragile for this world, but thankfully you have Mischa to protect you.

Ricky Potts:

Oh..., you're so cute.

That was Ricky's first thought as he watched you stumble into the choir room for your first rehearsal, apologizing to anything that could breathe. From your hair to your shoes to the way you spoke, he just found you so incredibly pretty, so interesting, and unique.

Ricky felt such a strong pull to you, he of course has thought of other people as cute before, but there was something about you that made him wish more than ever that he could just walk up to you and sweep you off your feet...

He had hardly noticed you sitting next to him on the risers, hands shaking as you adjusted yourself to listen to Father Marcus explain the upcoming competition Ocean had signed you all up for.

The moment he did notice though, he felt a smile curl up on his lips at the sheer luck. You could have sat anywhere, but you sat next to him, that had to mean something right? Destiny did have a tendency to pick him after all.

Maybe he doesn't need to walk up to you or magically just become able-bodied, maybe you'll come to him.

He liked those odds.

So, whenever you did work up the nerve to ask him about something or to just talk to him in general, your first interaction was less than stellar- Mainly because he tried signing to you first, hoping you might understand but you didn't... And with his silence, the hand motions you didn't understand, and the pause that came afterward, you really thought he was just flat-out ignoring you or that you offended him in some way.

So of course, you started apologizing and tearing up, begging for him to forgive you and giving him "offers" which disturbed him and also made Ricky start to panic... He had never grabbed his AAC device so fast before, quickly typing out, "No! It's fine, I'm not ignoring you or anything, to answer your question it's-"

Thankfully you calmed down after some explaining and reassurance, but it was definitely an odd encounter for Ricky... Didn't stop him from talking to you though!

Ricky has to admit though, he can't help but cringe every time you fall. He really does feel bad and he wishes he could help you prevent it like how he sees Mischa do, but the positions you end up in every time make him look away out of respect for you...

He does find talking to you nice as you actually bother to listen to him.

Also seeing your smile whenever you're happy makes his heart skip beats. :)

Ricky is a big fan of your aesthetic as well, the whole nurse vibe with the pinks and blues he finds nice. The bandages do concern him a little bit, but he shakes it off and just thinks of it as decoration at first, you know, for the aesthetic.

Ricky is so patient with you when you start stuttering or when you can't seem to get the words out of your lips, he'd be willing to wait forever like he hopes you'd do for him.

Although your personality can be a bit extreme, he doesn't really mind that since most of the people in his life are also pretty extreme. I mean, the entire choir can be a lot to deal with every day.

He notices how meek you are as soon as he meets you, but now that you two are starting to become friends, he can't help but frown as he thinks about why you are that way.

He notices the way others speak to you, the way they touch you and the ways they hurt you... He's sad for you and so frustrated that others think they can just treat you like that! ...And that he can't do much about it without some kind of proof that they are actually bullying you.

But trust when he says that he is watching.

Becoming friends with you came so naturally to Ricky, ever since you met, your relationship had just grown ever so steadily until now when he considers you a good friend.

He's really glad about that too since he doesn't have many friends but you...

And sure he does feel a little bitter seeing you hanging out with other people in the choir, but he pushes that feeling down. He doesn't want any of that to come in the way of your new friendship after all. He's happy for you, really.

Ricky will doodle random cats on your worksheets at every opportunity he can and he will only stop if you ask him to, otherwise, prepare for your papers to be filled with kitties!

His contact for you on his phone is, "sunshine," although it is always subject to change. What won't be changing though is the type of name, he will be giving the most sappy nicknames he can think of, no questions asked.

His parents were a little iffy on you at first, but after seeing how much Ricky cares about you, they are quick to warm up. His mom really starts to like you too as you teach her some bandage techniques and other things about medicine, which is helpful when some of your cats are literally the spawn of satan-

Actually, when it comes to your medical knowledge, Ricky is definitely one of the better people to talk about it with since he actually understands most of it.

Yes, he will be using that to brag to the others about, sue him.

If you ever want to learn sign language, Ricky will be pretty ecstatic! Why, you ask? Because that can only mean you like him enough to want to be able to talk to him in a way that's convenient for him. :D

He will gladly teach you everything there is to know about ASL while also teaching you bits and pieces of his family's made-up sign language so you can understand his parents better. (The first time you used some of their sign language in front of his parents, they were beyond excited.)

As stated before, obviously Ricky knows quite a bit of medical jargon because of his condition.

That doesn't stop him from being completely shocked at how much medical knowledge you have and how good you are at the practice. Seriously, he has no idea where you learned all the stuff or why, but he is literally applauding you every time you spout even a bit of new information at him.

Also, the way you get so serious and mature whenever you patch someone up...

You have him swooning.

(Anytime he's watching you patch someone up, he likes to pretend he's in some kind of medical drama on TV-)

To your friends/the choir members, he will be calling you his wife platonically. (He doesn't want it to be platonic-)

He always gets such an urge to collect information about you, as weird as that sounds. He just wants to fill notebooks with everything he can about you because he wants to know everything about you, even very personal information.

So, if you notice him asking some rather deep questions as of late..., there's definitely a good reason for that. Obviously.

Being as close as you are with Ricky, there will come a day when you eventually start to tell him about your insecurities. Even though you knew it was quite obvious that you were insecure, whenever you just started spilling it all out to your best friend in the whole universe, it felt so cathartic.

It all came barreling out so suddenly, about how you always feel so weird and gross, how everyone always seems to be against you, how you feel like you just can't take people's mean comments any longer. You told him everything that one faithful fall day.

Ricky was of course quick to comfort you, to pull you against him and wipe away your tears before signing whatever words of comfort he could think of. Honestly, your words hit a very strong cord in him because he feels the exact same way, weird and unwanted. That's why the stars destined you together.

Words of comfort can only go far though, especially when you were still learning sign language and Ricky couldn't grab his AAC device from how he was positioned... So, he did the next best thing, to confide in one of his biggest vulnerabilities too.

He confided in you about Zolar and the reason for its creation.

He told you everything, from his own OC to the planets, stars, and the people his OC encountered on his journey, whatever he could think of in hopes of distracting you so you could calm down.

Although he was definitely a little nervous about sharing his world with you, the way your eyes lit up as he kept explaining it was the highlight of the year to him. The more acceptance you showed, even though some of the more NSFW stuff, he grew more and more passionate, his hands moving at lightning speeds that you struggled to keep up with...

By the time he was only halfway done, you, going completely out of your comfort zone, hugged him and thanked him for sharing.

That hug lasted a long time..., he never wanted to let go.

By the end of the hug, Ricky offers to help you make an OC for his universe as in his words, "Zolar could use a cute medic." And so, you both spent the rest of that afternoon making you an OC, Ricky even making a quick sketch of her!

That evening when he went home, he felt so giddy and spent the whole night writing her into Zolar.

The moment Ricky learned of your abuse is a day he will never forget...

He had groggily come downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, something he did quite often and nothing out of the ordinary. What was unordinary was the odd sinking feeling in his gut..., one that forced him to stay awake despite how tired he felt.

It wasn't even a couple minutes later before he heard rapid knocks at his front door, desperate yet also somehow meek, as if whoever was behind it needed help but also didn't want to be a bother. Despite the stranger danger warnings, he knows his parents would've given him if they were up, he goes over to his front door and opens it slightly, only allowing a sliver of the door open just in case it was an unwanted visitor...

However, instead what he got was you. You who was crying and shivering with scars and bruises all over your body. Ricky felt his heart stop for just a moment while his eyes widen before throwing the door wide open and pulling you inside his house. He could have never imagined this sight would appear in front of him... He would have never wanted to, his hands shook as he rapidly signed, "What happened?!" His eyes flickered from your scars to your face and then to your hands.

As you ramble on about how your parents had a particularly bad day and you just couldn't take being on the receiving end of their abuse anymore, Ricky's heart quite literally shatters from how scared you look. He can't believe all of this was happening and he somehow didn't know, why hadn't he noticed this? Why didn't he push for some kind of answer before it got this bad??

The questions swimming in his mind were starting to cause a headache... Ricky takes one last look at your injuries and takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself before he bursts into a fit of rage at your supposed "parents." (He refuses to believe they should be called as such.) He then takes your hand and leads you to his bathroom to deal with your injuries without a word, only rubbing small circles into your palm as he focuses on finding his med kit.

While bandaging you up, your tears stopping only due to the fact that you couldn't produce anymore, Ricky finally signs once more. He asks you if you are okay, his hands stopping immediately after he signs it as he realizes how dumb of a question that is- He then rephrases and signs, "What do you want to do about this?"

It was a simple question, yet one you didn't quite understand as you asked what he meant by that. Your voice sounds so small right now...

"I'm not just going to let them get away with that, those people need to be reported to the police or something! ...I guess I'm asking, are you okay with calling the police?" Ricky tried to be as gentle as he could with his words, even if the anger at them hurting you was still brewing inside of him. Yet, to his disbelief, you refused to report them and no matter how much he tried to convince you to do so, you kept refusing.

You weren't ready.

You weren't ready to let go and as sad as that makes Ricky, he can't do much about that. The only thing he can get from you is that you'll stay over more often and that you call him if they try to do anything to you.

As much as this outcome hurts, he has to accept it. It is okay to not be ready to report your abusers, he just wants you to be safe.

(A/N: That got dark incredibly fast... For real though, if you are in a situation similar to this, do not be afraid to reach out for help, even if you aren't ready to report your abusers, at least know that you aren't alone. I am always willing to listen if need be.)

(A/N: Please excuse the jump in tone as we move on to something lighter.)

Some could make the argument that Ricky fell in love with you at first sight...

Some being Ricky.

Ricky Potts is totally convinced that he loved you since the day he met you, how couldn't he? You are beautiful, smart, kind, and everything he could possibly want. You understand him like no other and he won't be pushed to the side while the other vie for your attention.

And, he's convinced you'll see that someday too, that you were meant for him as he is to you! He'll wait as long as it takes for you to realize you are his, he's been known to be quite patient after all

One of the ways Ricky's love for you manifests out is through humor. You are always so jumpy and pessimistic..., he does everything he can to make you laugh, even if it means making a fool out of himself.

It's also a given that Ricky is a romantic, a hopeless one that is. All he's ever wanted was to find someone who could listen to him and he would know right then and there that they were meant to be. Despite every single unrealistic expectation he made for his true love, you met every requirement and excelled.

Side note, he's always so afraid he's gonna have a heart attack every time you pass by due to how fast his heart beats around you...

He just loves you so much..., that makes it totally reasonable for him to aggressively cyberbully anyone who tries to get close to you! It's all for you!!

Ricky is usually not a needy person, but when it comes to you, he really can't help himself. (He mainly does it in front of the other choir members since he knows how jealous they'll get because of it.)

Do you need tissues? He has it! Water? He has that too. Do you need some alone time? Well, that's a little harder for him to do... but, if it makes you happy, then he will.

Ricky is the type to set up the most romantic dinner date for the two of you and then turn around and act like it's all platonic.

He's legitimately terrified to let you know of his feelings despite how much he's convinced you two are meant for each other-

He spends so much time thinking about you, it's not even funny, like, he thinks about you more than Zolar. That is a huge feat.

If you ever mention being cold or he finds you being need of a shirt, sweater, whatever, he will give you one of his. He will also gaslight you into accepting them because he wants you to wear something of his and he really doesn't want to take no for an answer.

Also, don't be surprised if someone goes up to you and asks if you and Ricky are dating. Ricky will literally tell everyone (minus the choir because he might die-) that you are dating and then act like he never did in the first place.

But, pshhhhh, if you want to be his girlfriend, he's not complaining. ;)

Penny Lamb:

Penny had met you when you found her dolly, Jane.

She doesn't know how she lost Jane, considering she takes Jane wherever she goes. As soon as she noticed Jane was not by her side, Penny promptly freaked out.

She spent all day looking for the doll between classes, before and after school, but to no avail... By now, the boys at St. Cassian had probably already beat her up beyond repair...

By the time Penny finally decided to give up, it had already been well past the time she usually gets out of school as could be seen from the dark blue that covered the sky. She drags her feet to the exit, her cheeks stained from how much she cried that day, only to be stopped by a faint tap on her shoulder.

That's when she turns and sees you holding up Jane... Your voice was quiet and meek as you nervously explained how you found her on a chair in the library. You explained how you knew it belonged to her as you both were in the choir and you would see her carry Jane around everywhere.

Oh, that's where Penny knows you from! Throughout your whole explanation, one that makes Penny want to kick herself as she has no idea how she left Jane in the library, your face seemed quite familiar to Penny, but she just couldn't place why... But, now she distinctly remembers you as their new choir member.

Shaking her thoughts off, Penny rushes to grab Jane from your bandaged hands as she gently holds the doll in her arms, as if it were a real person who could get hurt if handled roughly. She can even begin to explain how relieved she feels to have Jane safely back into her arms..., as could be told from the massive sigh of relief she let out before she thanked you thoroughly and you both went your separate ways.

That interaction though, had stuck to Penny's mind... Most others at school would've either left the doll alone or flat-out destroyed it, and even if they did know it was hers, they definitely wouldn't have gone out of their way to give it back to her. So for you to do so left Penny with a bit of hope inside, hope that she won't have to be alone in this school, hope that someone would actually choose to hang out with her, hope that someone would actually remember her name.

And if you're the person to make that happen, then she is more than glad to stand next to you.

For the next few days, Penny tries to get closer to you and she pays more attention to your mannerisms. That's how she soon found out about all of your insecurities, ones that were easy to spot with how much you actively apologized for simply living.

She noticed how sensitive you are, how your moments of calm were nice but far and few between when in contrast to the rest of your personality, how often you offered to do obscene things for others, the whole lot of it.

And of course, she also noticed how clumsy you were, though she found that more comical than anything. Seriously, she's never met anyone who could trip on literally air before.

Rest assured, she will be looking away whenever she sees anything too explicit though.

All of these perceived flaws as she tried to get close to you never turned Penny off like they did to others, in fact, she found you utterly fascinating with how different you were from her peers. Even if her attempts to get to know you have been failures so far, it's really hard to get people to notice her naturally when even she admits that she is pretty forgettable, the hunt for your friendship is still going strong!

...Penny will be side-questing first though.

See, Penny has decided after a myriad of attempts to get you to notice her, that she will just start observing you and find a way to talk to you through that. Nothing weird, just her trying to find the perfect inning to talk to you.

Which wasn't hard at all since no one seemed to notice she was at rehearsals at all.

Penny would observe you as she did before, learning about your intensive knowledge of medicine and your love of horror movies. Yet, there had been little opportunity for her to speak to you... She did manage to say hello to you a few times! So progress!

What Penny didn't realize about her plan though was that you did in fact notice her watching you... and that freaked you out. Why was she always watching? Did you smell weird? Did you say something wrong?? Your mind couldn't help but spiral bit by bit as the endless thoughts of her possibly judging you ran through your mind.

It really wasn't long into this process where you broke and couldn't contain your fears anymore, honestly, you were surprised you stayed as quiet about this as you did.

You go up to her at the end of rehearsals after purposefully taking a long time so you two would be the only ones left in the room and you confronted her! ...The only issue was that Penny could hardly understand what you were saying through your sobs, but she got the gist.

As you cried with questions flying out of your mouth, Penny awkwardly grabbed your shoulders, startling you just enough to where you stopped crying for a moment, and she comforted you, explaining that her intentions were not malicious. "Oh, I'm sorry, sorry! I swear, I didn't mean it like that, I just... Uhm... I just think you're really interesting but I didn't know how to approach you."

She really didn't think you were gross or anything! She feels bad that she made you think that she did feel that way... You'll let her make it up to you right? Please, let her make it up to you.

Thankfully the misunderstanding was short-lived and you calmed down. However, Penny still felt the need to recompense you for your troubles and she wasn't exactly the type to let these things go, especially since this was now her chance to talk to you directly.

She started small by offering to carry your things or help you with homework and assignments, then it went on to bigger things like giving her gifts and getting her lunch.

Doing these things would also give an excuse for you guys to start hanging out and spending time together. If asked though, Penny would still say she's just trying to make it up to you, but she does start to see you as her only friend.

Not like she wants any friends other than you anyway.

Penny thinks your talent is so neat and will be begging you to teach her.

Medicine was always one of those things she had to learn about when living in the middle of nowhere without an actual doctor in sight, so it's not like she was totally incompetent with it, but watching your hands methodically rewrap the bandages that cover your arm really ignite that spark of interest in her.

If you do teach her, she will still ask you to patch up her wounds for no other given explanation than, "You do it better."

If she does see you patching anyone other than herself or you up though, she might just have to give said person a few more bruises... Just a few.

Being friends with Penny will unravel a lot of your trauma weirdly... Because you'll do some kind of trauma response and she will just ask you a ton of questions about it. (After comforting you of course and only if you'll let her.) It just makes you face why you do the things you do head-on, which can be great and also awful.

Penny also loves playing with your hair, no matter how "messed up" it may be. She loves doing tons of different styles with it and she also likes for you two to match. :)

You are the only person, other than maybe Ricky, she allows to hold Jane.

She will also be over the moon if you get her dolly anything, like doll accessories, clothes, etc., she will practically marry you right then and there.

As mentioned before, Penny is aware she is forgettable. It did sting a lot at first, coming out of a commune being young and naive, searching for friends only for none to be in sight, but she's used to it by now. For the longest time, she only thought she needed Ezra... Which proved to be untrue the moment she met you.

Anywho, you were sure to also start realizing this. How teachers would skip over her name during attendance and how the other choir members would forget to go over her part during a song. Although it did make you sad, there was a nice solace to be found in it, to not have to worry about anyone coming up to you or your bullies finding you. Weirdly enough, when you were with Penny, it was like you were invisible to the rest of the world...

That was nice.

Penny will be #1 at respecting your boundaries, especially if you don't like people touching you since she doesn't care for it either.

This also means if anyone else dares to disrespect you and make you uncomfortable, she will be rocking their shit.

Penny can be really possessive... She just feels that anytime you leave her alone, she'll be right back to how her life was before you and she really doesn't want that to happen.

She will be near any chance she gets, even if you don't know she's there. Trust me, she is there.

Penny had always known bits and pieces of your past and your home life. It was never enough to make her seriously consider if you needed help, but she had always known that something was off...

Not to mention, the times she got any sort of answer about it was when there were some scars and behaviors you couldn't hide. She wasn't mad at you for never telling her, but she had to admit, she had gotten pretty worried about you as of late...

It was like every day, there was something new to be worried about and you were really starting to look like you were going to start boiling over. ...Which wasn't so far off when she heard you had gotten detention for yelling and showing some violent behaviors towards your peers.

This of course had Penny worried, after all, she'd never seen you do anything like this..., there had to be a decent explanation for all of this! (Even if there wasn't, Penny would never dream of blaming you for anything.) So, that's how she found herself sitting in an empty classroom with you after detention, the words, "What happened today?" Hanging thick in the air.

You just couldn't take it anymore... You couldn't take the constant yelling, hitting, smell of booze and drugs, and all the abuse you've had to face day to day. It was always like the world was constantly out to get you like you were just some big joke the universe loved to laugh at and torment. You couldn't stop the words of hurt from coming out of you as you ranted about all your frustrations and how tired you were of it all.

And Penny, being as awkward and patient as she was, listened. She let you get everything off your chest, despite how horrible she felt after learning what you were going through daily from not just bullies but also your parents. She could have never predicted this was happening to you behind the scenes and even if all she wants is to do something, anything to put those people who dare call themselves your parents through the wringer, she wanted to be there for you more.

You both had a long conversation after that about pretty much everything, staying incredibly late after detention just like how you two met... Some of your conversations weren't even about the topic at hand, but it was so nice to finally get your feelings out that you couldn't even care when the conversation drifted. Whatever you wanted to talk about, Penny was there. She made sure you knew that she loved you (platonically of course..., yep, in a very platonic way, no romantic feelings at all-) and that you can come to her when these things get too much. Not to mention, she made sure that you were going to stay with her at least a few times a week, anything to get you out of that house.

You and Penny went to her house that night feeling a little lighter.

Did you really think I would forget to mention Ezra in this? He's too iconic not to mention at least once.

Anyway, when it comes to Ezra, he can read Penny like a book. It was always something he could do since they spent so much time together and despite how closed off she seemed to others, he could discern her emotions from every eye twitch and fidget she would exude. It's just something siblings do.

Maybe that's why when Penny would talk some more at the dinner table to their foster parents about her day and when she started writing in her once-forgotten journal once more, he knew something was up with her. He couldn't tell what it was immediately..., but the way she started double-checking herself in the mirror before heading out to school gave him a good clue.

A clue that was slowly pieced together as he saw you coming around more. He's surprised it had taken him this long to see it..., watching Penny read to you her favorite books about animals, he found the answer that had plagued his thoughts for a couple weeks. Penny was infatuated with you.

It was almost laughable how dense you both were to it... Almost. There comes a point when watching you two skirt around the subject for so long becomes immensely frustrating, which is why Ezra bluntly asks Penny as she is waiting for you to finish getting ready in the bathroom, "When are you going to get this weird crush thing over with and confess to her? You weirdo."

...

Penny swears she almost choked after his words processed in her head, Whipping her face around to look at him and shoo him away from her sight out of sheer embarrassment. Like, pshhh, yeah, she thinks you are great and all, but her being love? That's a bit of a stretch...

Sure, you're pretty, uniquely charming, sweet, intelligent, gentle, everything she could ever dream of for a partner-

...

Oh my god, she likes you.

If Penny starts to act a little more flustered and awkward around you starting from this moment forward, there was in fact a reason.

That being she is now questioning every interaction she's had with you since the beginning to see if you knew or if she was really that obvious about it the whole time...

It takes her a solid week to at least be somewhat back to normal.

Penny shows her love in really subtle ways, like giving you a few more compliments than usual and going out of her way to look nice around you, whatever it takes to not make her look like a complete buffoon, she will do.

She kind of does make herself look like a fool in front of you though-

It's difficult not to when you are literally such an angel to her. :'(

Remember the journal mentioned before? Well, that journal will now be getting more use than ever with how much Penny writes about you. Literally, you could just sneeze and she'll go in and write, "She sneezed around me today, what does this mean?? Does she like me too??? SOS!"

She also likes to take photos of you and stuff them in there, like a collage of sorts.

Penny will be using her status as being really forgettable to sneak around others to get to you. The amount of times she has snuck around the choir as they fight over who gets to sit next to you and sitting right beside you is astonishing. It gives her a little power trip when they all turn around and finally, notice her, ...which is easy to see on the big grin she wears while looking right back at them.

Penny has literally gotten into art just so she can draw you. She just needs something other than writing to get her thoughts of you out since she thinks about you 24/7... Some drawings are a little more concerning than others.

Even if she isn't the most touchy person, she loves to hug you and cradle you in her arms. It's so nice to feel you safe and sound against her and she likes to feel like she can protect you.

Be careful though, cause she will refuse to let go for a long time.

Also, her stalking you go from about 60% to 100%... and it will only get worse from there.

She has a doll named after you. :)

Look, I don't make the rules, Penny will be bringing you pretty rocks she finds at every opportunity. If you let her, she will be more than happy to take you rock hunting with her!

Constance Blackwood:

You were introduced to Constance shortly after meeting Ocean who wanted you to meet her BFF.

Initially, it was a little awkward as you both weren't exactly the most outgoing types and Ocean was of course the one hogging the conversation. Constance could deal with this though, it pretty much happened to every other choir member besides her... Ocean would bring them along with her to rehearsals, she would stand awkwardly to the side as Ocean introduced Constance and the choir, and as they got adjusted they stopped making an effort to be polite and talking to her.

She gets it, really. Being pushed into an extra-curricular that she can tell most don't actually care for and being introduced to the girl who could only get a few words in before Ocean ran off with the conversation topic doesn't exactly put Constance in the best of light... They had no reason to talk to her; even if it hurt, she's learned she's just got to deal with it.

So she thought nothing of this encounter. Even if you were one of the more extreme members of the choir, Constance was more than prepared for you to talk to her a few times to be polite before going off on your own. That was all there was to it, no reason to get her hopes up after they've been crushed repeatedly, right?

Yep, it was all sure to come crashing down soon... That was what she thought as your interactions kept popping up, your acquaintanceship spanning a lot longer than normal..., but she was sure it would all end soon enough.

...

Are you sure you still want to be talking to her?

In a rather strange twist of fate, instead of doing what Constance had expected and leaving her alone like everyone else, you consistently went up to her for questions, to apologize for something she didn't even know you did, or to simply just talk to her. It had caught Constance so off guard that during one of your conversations, she accidentally let the question, "Why are you still talking to me?" Slip from her lips...

After the whole fiasco of her having to reassure you that your presence was wanted and she was just confused, your answer to her was simply, "...You're a lot easier to talk to compared to everyone else here." Which left Constance feeling pretty giddy.

Although she didn't understand exactly what you wanted from her or why you continued to associate with her, she was going to try and take this moment in stride. Maybe, just maybe, she can have someone to rely on.

As you and Constance talked more and more, your odd behaviors became more and more apparent in her eyes. It wasn't every day she knew someone with such fragile self-esteem as yours.

She was really starting to get worried that someone was going to take advantage of you with how often you would offer obscene things as a form of apology.

Not to mention how quick you are to panic even if you did nothing wrong...

And when it comes to how clumsy you can be, which she sometimes can't help but suspect is on purpose..., she really does feel the need to look after you.

Constance is pretty much set into mom mode when you're around, she's so worried that if she looks away for one second, something is going to happen to you. She will not be having her friend get hurt while she's around!

So, she tries to look after you as subtly as she can.

She helps soothe you whenever you cry, she helps you back up whenever you fall..., Constance even helps get bullies off your back. Whatever you need her to do, she wants to be there for you.

Though, even if she thinks she's being subtle, it wasn't that hard for you to discern she was going out of her way to help you out... Really, did she think you wouldn't figure out by how many times you've brought lunch for her? Anyway, not used to this sort of kindness, you had to ask the question that was hanging in the back of your mind. The question of why she was doing this.

...Constance didn't really have an answer to that. You guys weren't quite friends yet, she's never gone this far to help people out before, hell, she's been scolded more times than she can count these past couple of weeks from Ocean after being late due to having to help you. So why was she doing this, what made you so different in her eyes?

The only answer she could come up with was, "I'm just worried I guess... You seem like a good person and I would like for us to be friends, I guess that's why I'm doing this, to prove I can be a good friend to you." She almost stopped the words from flowing out of her mouth, her words coming out quicker than she could think. She definitely would've been embarrassed if it weren't for the way a small smile creeps up on your face, the sight bringing her a nice tingly feeling in her chest.

Surprisingly, that was a good day, one that changed Constance's and your acquaintanceship as it became more of a friendship.

Now that you two were trying this friendship thing out, you also tried to look after Constance in your own ways! You patch her up whenever she gets hurt, help her with her studies, and basically just make it a good, healthy relationship instead of a one-sided one.

Constance was a little hesitant about receiving the help at first. She's just had to be strong for everyone else for so long that it's a weird turn of events to be on the receiving end of the help...

She had to admit though, it was a well-welcome change of pace from the weight of everyday life.

Constance really likes doing those magazine quizzes with you as she thinks it's fun to see how differently you both think.

She also loves seeing your reaction to all the sweets she makes for you, with the way you try to hide the way your eyes light up as you try and decline the treats, all before being forced to hesitantly take them as Constance insisted you do. She thinks it's adorable!

Don't even get her started on your way of dressing and your nurse aesthetic. She really wants to know where you shop because she is dying to look as cute as you. (She already is though <3)

Constance might quite literally be your biggest supporter..., like, ever. As long as you aren't hurting yourself, she is all for any idea you have! Which is sometimes, not a good thing.

One thing she will not support you on though, is your being in the kitchen... Look, she loves you, but with how clumsy you are, she knows that you + the kitchen = disaster.

Look, no matter how nice Constance is, she is not afraid to say a few mean things to people who mess with you. You are precious to her and she doesn't want anyone hurting you! If she ever gets wind of some of the other horrible things people try to do to you (for example, touching you without your consent, hurting you, etc.), she really doesn't think she can hold back from doing some terrible things that time...

And when it comes to rumors, you don't have to worry about that because Constance will take care of it. :)

You just don't need to figure out how.

Constance thinks your talent is pretty admirable. Not many teens practice medicine, at least not in Uranium, so it's pretty neat that you are so good at it.

Constance, herself, is okay at medicine as she learned some tricks from her parents, but she isn't too interested in going farther into the practice than that. She'll leave you to be the one to patch her up.

If you have that kind of handwriting doctors have with the absurd amount of loops and tiny print, Constance will have the worst time trying to read that... Look, she already has glasses, please make life a little easier and write in a legible print. :'(

It was no secret to you that Constance is incredibly family-orientated. She loves her family and would do anything for them, so of course she wants you to be as close to them as you are to her!

That's how you find yourself spending time with Constance, her parents, and her brother, after school and on the weekends.

Her parents adore you. No questions about it, even if you can be pretty extreme, they find you so adorable and practically adopt you the moment they see you. Constance's brother is a little harder to please since he's actually a little scared of you when you first meet..., but he eventually grows to like you as well and tries to protect you even though he is a lot younger than you.

Seeing Constance's family be so good to each other and treat each other like how family should... It makes a certain part of you hurt like hell. You were glad Constance's family were good people, that you had more people to rely on in your times of need, but it hurt that you didn't have that.

You didn't have loving parents or siblings, no one was there for you at home, and your parents literally loathed your existence... Your home life was miserable and it was eating away at you by the day.

It might be because Constance and the others have greatly helped you lift your self-esteem and yourself worth since you met them, or it might be the fact that your parent's abuse was getting worse by the second, but you literally couldn't take it anymore. Your boiling point was reached a long time ago and now it's overflowed to the point you can't contain it anymore.

And for the next few days after the revelation hit you, you had grown quite distant from Constance... Like, you were with her physically but emotionally you were far, far elsewhere. Constance was of course worried, fearing that she might have done something wrong, but she wasn't going to push the topic. If you didn't want to talk about it, she wasn't going to make you.

But you did want to talk about it..., you did want to tell her what was going on, you just didn't want to bother her.

Yet, during a sleepover when Constance had asked you if you were okay..., you couldn't stop the waterworks from coming. Tears start to stream down your face as Constance quickly moves over to you and holds you, a worried look in her eyes as she just lets you cry your heart out. Years of built-up emotion were flooding out of you in a way that it always seemed to, you did hate crying but it was always the only way you could get those emotions out.

Your voice sounded so broken as you rambled on and on about all of the abuse you have gone through and still go through, the words being unintelligible at some points due to just how hard you were sobbing. It took a solid hour before the tears would finally stop, though your body was still shaking from all the emotions you were feeling.

The moment Constance could get a word in..., she didn't. She just sat beside you, comforting you in the best way she could through her actions instead of words. Hearing what you have to deal with makes her so upset, as it would be for anyone else, and as much as Constance wants to push and tell the police about your abuse, that was something she knew was up to you. It wasn't her story to tell and she didn't want to make your life even worse by making you go through the legal system if you aren't ready for it.

So for now, she'll hold you. She's gonna be there for you in every way she can because she loves you and only wants you to be happy.

She makes sure to let you know that you are always welcome at her home, no matter the hour or date. She knows her parents certainly wouldn't mind and neither does she. If it gets you away from the horrible situation you are stuck in, she encourages it.

Learning about your abuse also puts your behaviors and scars into perspective... She hopes you know she is the best person to come to for these kinds of things, none of the others can treat you as well as she can.

Constance falling in love with you was a very slow, gradual process that built up throughout the time you both have known each other.

...

That is what Constance wants to say. Truth be told, she isn't sure if there was ever a moment where wasn't absolutely infatuated with you, even if she didn't know it then, she knows that what she feels for you isn't her just wanting to be friends with you or feeling a sort of familial connection to you. No, Constance Blackwood knows now that she loves you. She loves you more than she has ever loved anyone before, so much that it scares her how much she wants to just take you home and never let you go.

She is aware that her love for you is darker than what most think love should be..., but god, there wasn't any way she was going to let this go. There wasn't any way she was going to let you go.

She loves you... You love her too, right?

The way Constance shows her love isn't too far from how she treats her friends. She takes care of them, brings them treats from the cafe, and spends lots of time with them, it's so normal that you don't even notice the shift in her tone and actions compared to before. You didn't notice how much adoration lies in her eyes as she watches you or how her touch lingers for a little too long...

In her eyes, seeing you happy is like waking up late in the summer and having the warm afternoon glow lay on your body.

A random thing Constance really enjoys is holding your hand, especially in the most mundane of places like walking to school, sitting next to each other in choir, or sitting in a booth at the cafe, it just makes her feel so giddy and light.

One thing she loves gifting you other than sweets is flowers. She doesn't exactly know why, but there's just something weirdly romantic about it.

Sometimes, she sneakily takes photos of you in the middle of the night during your sleepovers.

It's not hard to see that the other choir members like you, especially when it comes to people like Ocean and Mischa who aren't shy about showing their affection to you. Constance really tries not to let this get to her, she really does, it's no surprise everyone likes you when you're you. It's only right that everyone gets a shot at winning your heart...

Still, it's hard to ignore how hard her fingernails dig into her palms as she subconsciously balls her hands into fists while Noel plays with your hair, Ocean talks your ear off, Mischa grips your shoulder, Penny glares at everyone, and Ricky bites his lower lip in sheer frustration...

Is it so wrong of her to use her family against you to get you to stay a couple more hours? She isn't lying, her brother has been wanting to talk to you all day and her parents have meant to show you a new recipe they've been working on. Wouldn't it be kind of mean to leave them hanging?

She wasn't lying that her feelings for you kind of scare her. She's had crushes before, but they all were such fleeting thoughts that she's never had a chance to actually feel this way for any of them as she does for you.

Love is scary...

But you leaving is way worse.

General/All together:

Ocean's relationship with the rest of the choir was never overtly positive, save for maybe Constance, so now that she views them as her romantic rivals, her relationship with everyone is going to tank dramatically. She's never been a loser, so why change that now? She's gonna every underhanded tactic she knows to win your heart and that's not even mentioning how often she already does that. The only person in the choir she actually feels threatened by is Mischa since she knows he can snap her like a twig if he very well pleases...

The way Noel deals with everyone else is not too much different than Ocean surprisingly. He isn't afraid to fight dirty and even if he isn't going after you romantically, that doesn't mean he is going to fight any less against people like Ricky or Penny who seem to be getting closer to you by the second. He's gonna remind you at every chance he gets that his connection to you is stronger than anything those losers can give you.

Mischa really isn't threatened by the choir at all... He already has the upper hand with seeing your home and actually dealing with your abusers directly, no one else has come close to that. He is better than all of them combined, he just needs to show you that. His passion for you is an eternal flame that won't die no matter how much time has passed. You're his.

Everyone fighting for your attention and love kind of makes Ricky want to laugh because... who do they think they are? Seriously, you came to him in your time of need, not anyone else, so how do they think they stand a chance when you chose him? He was never one to be arrogant, but doesn't that just prove you feel safe with him? That you love him as much as he loves you? No way do people like Ocean have half a chance when he's right here.

Would Penny consider themself a temperamental person? ...Maybe, but generally, she would say she is pretty calm all things considered. Is watching the choir flock around you like the useless parasites they are making her blood boil? Definitely. She doesn't like being angry, she doesn't like hurting people, but something about the way the rest of the choir all vie for your attention just sends alarm bells through her head. Surely, you don't care about any of them, right? Yeah, you're way too nice to say anything to their faces, that's it. Don't worry, Penny is gonna make sure they never get to utter a single syllable of your name ever again.

Constance Blackwood is a nice girl. She doesn't wish harm upon others or does things purely to spite the competition, no, she is obviously the most sane person here. ...She just gets a little frustrated with watching you deal with people who aren't and will never be worth your time. That's all. There's no way she would destroy Ocean's project at the last minute or drown Ricky's sketchbook, she would never do such a thing...

A/N: I was kind of yapping on Mischa's section- It's so funny because I don't even consider him my favorite choir member, but I always end up writing so much for him.

Hopefully, I also got Mikan's personality right... For as much as she's one of my favorite characters in the Danganronpa franchise, she's kinda hard to write for.

And last note, like I stated earlier, if you are ever in an abusive situation or one where you do not feel safe, please seek help and stay safe.

Abuse hotlines -

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1 (800) 799 – 7233

National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline: 1 (866) 331 – 9474

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1 (800) 656-4673

ChildHelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1 (800) 422 – 4453

If you would like me to add any more, please feel free to tell me and I will do so.

Remember that people care about you and that no one deserves to go through abuse.

Stay safe.

16 notes · View notes

ch2rub · 5 months ago

Text

~ Who are you? ~ A Mischa x Reader fic

Ch-4/2

Posted onto all platform- July 26, 2024

TW- Panic attack and self harm mentioned

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"O-oh uhm, hey Ocean." You say with a shaky voice. You look at her with wide eyes as you start to panic. Not having a single explanation for why you were so scared and nervous, or what the broken porcelain doll had to do with anything. Not wanting to seem like a looney you tried the first excuse that came to your mind.

"Was just, looking around. You know" Not only are you the worst liar in all of history, but that did not cover for the doll on the floor. Or why you were acting so spooked, even after the initial scare Ocean gave you just appearing behind you like that. Not hearing and steps of any sign of a person behind you. As you tried to lie to Ocean your voice continued to shake slightly. Your eyes drifted around the room, not wanting to look at Ocean in the eyes. You brought up your hand to fidget with the red tie around your neck. A wavering smile adorned your face as you tried to act as normal as possible.

"Yeah ... sure." Ocean responds, unimpressed. A sense of recognition goes over her face as she takes her first look at the doll. Suddenly getting quite nervous herself, she continued to ask you a question. "Is that your doll?" She pointed to the doll broken on the floor. The head was cleanly snapped off of its neck, after falling from the painting that seemed to have never been there in the first place.

"Uhh, nah. I was just-umm in here." You respond definitely not awkwardly or suspiciously. Not at all.

"You can take it if you want. I don't care." You say as you step towards the side. Trying to get as far as you could from the creepy doll. With each glance you gave it the more anxious and scared you seemed to get. You got as far away from the scene as possible. Walking toward the opposite side of the room and sitting down on a large box. Leaving Ocean to bend down and pick up the two pieces of the recently beheaded doll. "I'm just gonna take a seat real quick, s-sorry." As you sat you felt your sight slightly blur and your balance feel more uneven. Your legs almost giving out.

"Yeah, it's fine. Im um gonna fix this up and give it to a friend, I think it would make her really happy to see it." She grabbed the pieces and placed them onto the box where the painted canvas used to be before it disappeared. As Ocean slowly made her way towards you, you started to panic more. You stared down at your lap, clenching and unclenching you had while they shook more violently than they were before. Your vision continued to go in and out of focus. The air started to feel thicker. Making it harder and harder for you to breathe with each gasp. Everything felt muggy and uncomfortable. The air feeling hot and your uniform feeling scratchy. You started to feel sweat pool onto your forehead and you continuously scratched at your legs with your shaky hand. Continuing to get rougher and rougher with each scratch. You shifted in your seat continuously as your breathing got heavier. Your lungs heaved for air as it seemed unable to enter.

"Woah- hey hey hey. You're alright, you're gonna be fine." Ocean quickly rushed to your side after noticing the state you were in. The awkward space between the two of you disappeared once you started to panic. Ocean wasn't good with these things. She never was. Although her unwillingness to say it out loud, she knew she was a selfish person. Only ever really cared for herself, but she has been getting better at caring for others and being kinder. At Least she thinks she is.

She places her icy cold hands on your wrist, trying to restrain you from breaking skin. She gently rubbed her thumbs on your warmer hands. Trying to soothe you in any way she can think of. Her first thoughts were to stop you from hurting yourself and causing any harm to your body. The left side of her brain kicked in immediately as she quickly restrained yourself from harming yourself. The other way you could harm yourself was your incapability to breathe in enough air. Your blurring sight proved that if you weren't able to breathe normally soon, you would soon pass out.

"Match my breathing with me, ok." She said, not starting until she saw you lightly shake your head. Confirming that you were listening. "Deep breath in." She took a deep breath in and held it for a couple of seconds, prompting you to do the same. It was a struggle for you to gain control of your breathing again. Once you were able to focus on her words and instructions your eyesight was clearing up. So was the shakiness in your hands and the urge to continue and scratch and scratch until your skin was gone. The clammy feeling slowly dispersed and so did the uncomfortable feeling you were getting from touching everything around.

"Are you ok?" Ocean asked. Her brows and mouth slightly downturned. You haven't known each other for long, but you can tell she clearly cares about you. Making sure that you were no longer in your mini-panicking state.

"Y-yeah yeah. Im ... im good. Thank you." The thank you was the scariest thing that came out of your mouth that day. Looking up into her eyes with your own teary ones sealing the deal. That being the first time you actually made eye contact that day, it shows how much you cared and appreciated what she had done for you if she wasn't there who knows what would happened. How you might have hurt yourself the more you broke down. Good thing that never happened and definitely won't ever happen. (wink wink nudge nudge)

It was obvious Ocean wanted to know what happened before she entered the room that caused you to go into a panic attack, but sensing that it would be insensitive to ask straight away she decided against it. For the remaining minutes, the two of you sat side by side on the large box. Not a word was spoken to each other. The quiet was calming, it felt peaceful. The only sound was your heavy breaths as you continued to calm yourself down from the incident. Ocean didn't say anything. Not really knowing if she should say anything. She decided that making sure that you were fine for the remainder of the lunch period would be better than trying to make awkward small talk, or just leaving altogether.

Once the bell rang you pushed yourself up from the box and walked towards the door. Catching a peak of the porcelain doll on the box in front of the door and shivering. As you walked out you felt Ocean eyes continue to track your every move. Her not making any moves to leave when the bell rang, unlike yourself. You didn't think much of it, your head being somewhere else. As you walk down the dim hallway to your next class you jump up from another thump hitting the small window.

"Jesus fucking christ. What the hell."

You quietly mutter some curses under your breath as you peered into the window to be met with the sight of three dead crows. The third being the newest. You turn back to and quickly power walk away from the trio of dead birds. Having no idea why they keep committing suicide by slamming themselves into the window you decided to look it up later.

You arrived at your next class, doing your usual sweep of the students attending your class. You first started doing this because you wanted to get used to the faces that were gonna be surrounding you. Then it turned into you trying to search for Penny or any sign of her. You want to think that you continue to do this habit today to look for your missing friend, but the longer the day went on. The more you realized why you were searching the room. It was pathetic really. Or at least you thought it was. You continued to search each class in hopes of seeing the inky soft hair you saw last night. As you sat down your mind continued to linger on the thought of your dream boy. Not wanting to think about what had happened in the choir room any longer. Locking it away in the back of your mind.

To distract yourself from the things you did not want to face, and the boredom of your current classes. You continued to think of the boy your heart seemed to long for. A part of you felt that it was pitiful. To have fallen for a boy you have never met and most likely, does not exist. The other part of you though, wants him. No not want. Needs him. To hear him speak. To feel his fingertips run against your arms. Even the thought of it causing you to shiver slightly. The part of you would not be satisfied until you had an interaction with the dream boy. You scoffed internally. 'Like that would ever happen.'

As far as you know he does not exist. Just a figment of your imagination. Something your brain could've created to give yourself comfort in these stressful times. You believed the part of your brain that hated the idea of obsessing over this fictional man. (looking at you guys) You wanted to get rid of the thought of him. You decided to give yourself the day to let your heart fall into the fake scenarios that your brain created of the man. Just giving yourself the day to feel the ecstasy of having a crush.

You always hated the idea of crushes. For most crushes only lasted a week, maybe two at most. That's how it was for all of the other girls in school back in the city. For you it was different. You've only ever had two real crushes in the past. Both of them lasting around two to three years. Insane I know, but you never seemed to let go. Your heart clinging on although you knew they would never like you back. They never did. As a matter of a fact you almost going to graduate high school and you never had your first kiss. It's shameful really. That's why you hated the thought of liking someone romantically. After past experiences, you learned that it always ended with you feeling worse about yourself than before. At Least this time you won't have to face rejection.

While getting home you made yourself a game plan. Something to stick to that will make this stupid little crush to go away. In your brain, this will help you stay on track and not let yourself give in to the way a crush feels. At first, it feels wonderful to admire someone, but the longer you have it the worse it gets. You would know what it's like, and having a crush on a boy you say momentarily in a dream in a no-no. Him only existing in your mind will cause the crush to slowly eat at you. The only way your past crushes went away was because you lost contact with them. Giving your brain nothing to cling to. That won't work for a boy entirely made in your mind.

Your plan is to give yourself a day to be a lovesick fool. You don't want to admit it but at first, it feels good to have a crush. Not having one in a while you just want to feel it again. Giving yourself a day lets you not get too hung up on the feelings. If you let yourself act like this for any longer you would lose control over your feelings. That won't be good.

Tomorrow you'll focus on finding a new boy. Look around your classes and find the one that you think is the most attractive or someone that you find charming. Try to talk with them and develop a friendship. This would be killing two birds with one stone. You were in desperate need of a friend who wasn't missing or someone you only seemed to see at lunch. This will give you a new friend and someone to distract yourself with. If everything goes to plan you'll be able to get feelings for this new guy and not think about the dream boy any longer. Maybe if you're lucky you'll get yourself a boyfriend. Who knows.

In your mind, this was the best thing you can think of. Fighting fire with fire.

Little did you know this would backfire in a way you would never expect.

.........

Arriving home you opened the door and quickly headed downstairs into your room. Not going to give your mom your usual greeting and recap talk. Being so focused you didn't realize that your mother wasn't there at all.

You jogged down the steps and headed straight to your bed. Taking off your sneakers along the way and shedding your backpack before you hopped onto your mattress. You grabbed your homework from your bag to start it and finish it as fast as you can. Wanting to get it out of the way so you can do other things.

On your way home and after making your game plan you had some time to think. One thing you remembered you wanted to search up was what was up with those freaky ass crows. Three of them have slammed themselves into the hallway window. One yesterday and two today. Not only that but the stuff with the painting. You didn't want to confront it and had no plan of doing so, but after some thought you decided not to. Leaving the experience as locked away as you can and bottling up the experience. You didn't want to confront the feelings that you felt but you did have questions you wanted answered. You marked it all up to this shitty town you just had to move to. You have no idea why you even moved. You have wanted to ask your mom about it but never did. As you thought that it was the town's fault for everything that has happened you wanted to do some research. Wanting to look at everything you can about the town online.

Finishing your homework in record time, you jumped up to one of the boxes in the corner of the room. Starting to gain dust. You rub your finger across the top of it and cringing. Reminding you that you still had to fully unpack. You opened it at grabbed the laptop from under all of the random things you had stuffed in there. Grabbing it and setting it on your bed you open it up to find out that it had more power. Internally groaning you went back to the box to fish out the charger and plug the laptop in. Sitting down on the bed and sighing. With all of the initial adrenaline going away you think of what to do to pass the time. Your eyes wander over to the closet, remembering that there were things still left to discover.

You walked over to the mini walk-in closet and look around. Running your fingertips along your clothes and some of the ones you decided to keep, remembering you had to do your laundry. Pushing that thought to the back of your brain you bent down to grab the small box stuffed in the back of the closet. You grabbed it and opened the lid. Remembering the last time you opened it was your second night here, to watch the saw movie. You left the movie discarded on the table that was holding the TV up. Never feeling bothered to put it back. Thinking back onto that night reminded you of the soothing scent you smelt and the feeling of someone next to you. 'Just another weird ass thing that happened in this town' You say brushing it off. Only adding to your want to search about uranium.

Grabbing the box and plopping down onto the bed, the first thing that caught your interest was an iPod. Grabbing you went through the songs added onto it. Mostly rap songs with the occasional rock or indie rock song. Expected from the posters adorning the walls. Continuing to shift through the box you take notice of five pieces of paper. Four of them being white leaf paper folded to fit into envelopes. The remaining one is a postcard. Grabbing the square piece of paper you see the printing on the front to be a view of a large building with a mint green dome for a roof. The background is full of large silver skyscrapers.

On the bottom of the photo saying "HELLO FROM KYIV" Using your lacking geographical skill you remember that Kyiv was the capital of either Ukraine or Russia. You weren't sure which. Flipping it over you look at the words and try to read them, only to realize they were in another language. Makes sense if it was coming from Ukraine or Russia.

до Міша Бачінскі

Ми сподіваємося, що у вашій новій сім'ї все добре. Ми надсилаємо цього листа з деякими сумними новинами. На жаль, сьогодні вранці твоя мати померла. Лікарі кажуть, що через отруєння ураном. Якщо у вас і вашої нової сім'ї немає грошей на похорон, ми змушені поховати її в могилі, яка оплачується податками, без похорону.

Наші глибокі вибачення. ЮНІСЕФ.

Not understanding a lick of the language you continued to study the paper and noticed slightly faded tear stains. It would be hard to notice with one glance but it was definitely there. 'Poor guy' Not being able to read it caused you to lose interest fast and toss it back into the boxes. Grabbing the folded sheets of paper, you open them up to be met with writing in the same language. The writing was more messy and sprawled out than the neater and more formal postcard. You notice the same tear stains on two of the pieces of paper. The other two not having any trace of tears. Frowning you folded the pieces of paper back up a throwing them into the box. Feeling empathy for the kid but also disappointed that you didn't learn anything new about the mystery teen who lived here before you.

Tossing the box onto the floor you grabbed your laptop to see if it would turn on and it did. You immediately typed in your passcode and went to Google. Your first search being "What does it mean when crows hit windows." That being the first thing on your mind. Scrolling down the results you see the usual ones about birds' visions and them not being able to see glass but one result caught your eye. You see one result about the symbology and the meaning of a crow hitting a window. Clicking on the link you start reading the contents. Apparently, when a crow hits a window it means something bad is going to happen. This caused your eyes to widen. You were left with two options. Either this was the universe telling you that this town is bad news and to leave, or it's just the birds having shit eyes. Thinking about it the bid did first hit the window when I met Constance and Ocean. Then again when I had the moment with the painting.

You wouldn't think of the two girls as a bad thing. Yeah, they were a little weird with their first impressions but today ocean proved to you that she cared and was a good friend. The crow hitting the window today being the main red flag. Either it was warning you about the anxiety attack you were gonna get or it was just a stupid coincidence. You left it as a coincidence as you never believed in that superstition stuff and continued your search. The next thing you searched up was "Uranium City"

You click on the first link being wikipedia, not bothering to scroll. Reading it you took mind to bits that you felt were important to know. It told you that the population was 90. Makes sense didn't think there would be too many people here. Scanning over the history you read what catches your eye. Parts that told you how uranium was used for mines, specifically mining Uranium (who would've guessed) this caused the population to grow a thrive. That was until the closure of the mines in 1982 that caused many residents to move. Leading it to be the small town it is today. After scrolling a bit on the wiki page you didn't seem to find anything you wanted. You started to read the recent news section. All you were able to read was "fall fair accident" before you heard your mother call your name from the stairs. Leading you to close your computer and forget anything about the fall fair and what this accident may be.

postcard translation - To Mischa Bachinski

We hope that you are doing well with your new family. We send this letter with some unfortunate news. Sadly your mother has passed away this morning. The doctors say it's due to uranium poisoning. Unless you and your new family have the money for a funeral, we are forced to bury her in a tax supported grave with no funeral.

Our deepest apologies. The UNICEF

I might write what Mischa wrote on those letters. Let me know if you guys want to see that. Was not expecting this chapter to almost be the same size as the last one oops.

#ghosts #mischa bachinski #mischa ride the cyclone #mischa rtc #mischa x reader #rtc #rtc musical #strangers to lovers #supernatural #talking to ghosts #ocean rtc #ocean o'connell rosenberg #panic attack #ride the cyclone #rtc fanfic

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