#oc: renuti gilberg

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one last hanukkah fic post! this one is longer then the other two put together so its in a doc of its own haha. its also a bit more sad/reflective then the other two. prompt is from @/hanukkahbingo: "rememberance". enjoy this fic about a fucked up little cloneguy who used to make watchmojo videos learning about hanukkah and Definitely Not About Anything Else

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hanukkah stories 2! based on the prompts from @/hanukkahbingo: this one was debate >:) time for my favorite tv sitcom guys

full transcript beneath the cut

[Interior: Knockoff Buzzfeed Offices. Jimmy is at his desk, which has a little Christmas tree on it. Renuti enters, sees it, and immediately walks over to them, enraged.]

RENUTI (stage whisper) What the hell is that?

JIMMY It's my desk, genius.

RENUTI (pointing emphatically) Not the desk. That.

JIMMY The Christmas tree?

RENUTI Yes!

JIMMY Oh, I'm not allowed to have a Christmas tree?

RENUTI No!

JIMMY (flinging hands in the air) What happened to freedom of religion?!

RENUTI Oh, come on! (They take a deep breath.) Jimmy. We have had our ups and our downs--

JIMMY (aside) Oh, that's one way of putting it.

RENUTI But! Like it or not, you are the only other Jew in this office and I need you to show some solidarity here, alright? I'm out here every day with my array of Hanukkah sweaters--incredibly hard to find online, I may add--and I cannot be going up against Christian hegemony alone!

JIMMY Get Lillud to help.

RENUTI He's Muslim!

JIMMY So? He can still participate in the festivities. It's a mitzvah.

RENUTI Do not use the Torah against me, Jimmy Ellsberg Drucker.

JIMMY How the hell do you know my middle name?

RENUTI It's in your email signatur-- this is not the point!

JIMMY (struck by a sudden flash of inspiration) Anyway, you like Christmas carols.

RENUTI I do not!

JIMMY You do so! I heard you singing Silver Bells the other day!

RENUTI Okay, an artistic appreciation for musical style is totally different then having a Christmas tree!

JIMMY It brings me a weak spark of joy in this miserable world! Besides, I'm half Catholic!

RENUTI You are not Catholic.

JIMMY (loudly) Ohhhh, so I'm not allowed to be Catholic? What is this, the 1890s?

RENUTI (hissing) That is absolutely not what I meant and you knew it. Ugh. If you're really sticking with this excuse--

JIMMY It's literally not an excuse, I didn't suffer from double the inherited guilt to be insulted like this--

RENUTI --The least you could do is also put up a tiny menorah.

JIMMY Do you know how hard to find those are?

[Renuti gestures to their desk. Upon it is a tiny menorah.]

JIMMY …Oh.

RENUTI I will get you a menorah. And then you will have to have it on your desk. Out of societal obligation.

JIMMY As, what, a Hanukkah gift?

RENUTI …Yes.

JIMMY Fuck. Then I'll have to get you something.

RENUTI No you don't.

JIMMY Yes I do. Societal obligation.

[Pan over to Lillud, staring at this interaction with a look of mingled fascination and bafflement, as Jimmy and Renuti continue to argue.]

RENUTI No, you really don't.

JIMMY Yes I do.

RENUTI No--

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[ID: A small sketch page of characters with various tumblr posts/tweets assigned to them. The art is all in a simplistic style, lineart only, and most of the characters are only drawn from torso up. Each of the characters is in a different color. Jimmy (orange) has long, scraggly hair and is wearing a newsboy cap. Lillud (brown) is wearing a hijab. Peony (dark blue) has curly hair in a bun or ponytail. Renuti (teal) has short, straight hair. Cactus (light green) has mid-length curly hair. Posts/doodles are:

Jimmy, looking polite and confident: "quick i need $10,000 because i have Adhd and am bisexual"

Lillud, deadpan: "sometimes y'all say things that make me want to attack you like a feral wolf"

Peony, looking cheerful and perhaps a little too excited, is reciting a post that starts with "Me on first day as the job interviewer:", and saying "what are your greatest weaknesses. What are you weaknesses. What will make you break. Am i scaring you. What would you say is your greatest weakness. Aaaa! Anyway. Have you ever been attacked? What would you consider your greatest weakness."

Cactus, imitating the pleading emoji: "can you guys quit your job so we can hang out more"

Renuti, slamming their fist on the table while saying something confidently and wearing heart-shaped sunglasses: "*slams fist on table* ow"

Lastly, there is a tweet that begins with "vaguely twinkish co-worker: theres a guy in my apartment complex whos wifi is called 'burger time'". "Vaguely twinkish coworker" has a box around it and an arrow pointing to Renuti, who looks like they're cheerfully saying the prior sentence. Peony, standing across from them with a completely neutral expression, is the second part of the tweet, which is "me (not paying attention: I thought about killing you yesterday." End ID.]

oh god its these losers

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1 or 13 for spotify prompts

number 13 on my spotify wrapped was baseball by hippo campus!

i was wrong, you were a friendly kid

JIMMY: Oh, come the hell on!

[RENUTI turns their head, almost visibly perking up at the sound of JIMMY's frustration.]

RENUTI (anticipating the answer): What is it?

JIMMY: One run! One freaking run!

[RENUTI does a double-take, confused– this is not the answer they anticipated.]

RENUTI: Huh? Who?

JIMMY (frustrated, wanting very badly to use stronger language): Freakin' Mets lost by one freaking run.

RENUTI (mischievously): Sorry for your loss.

[JIMMY makes a dismissive gesture and wanders off, glaring at his phone. RENUTI, seeking further banter, follows.]

RENUTI: Who to?

JIMMY: Huh?

RENUTI: Who'd they lose to?

JIMMY: Atlanta.

RENUTI (sympathetically): Ooh.

[Jimmy side-eyes them for a moment, trying to detect the mockery he expects from them. He shrugs it off and turns back to his phone.]

JIMMY: Not like I expected better from them, anyway.

RENUTI: Long-time fan?

[Jimmy whirls, bristling at the perceived insult, but deflates upon realizing it's just true.]

JIMMY: …Yeah. (slowly, as if the thought hadn't occurred to him before) …You?

RENUTI: Eh, kinda. In my youth. Mostly I just enjoy the…the elegance and poetry of the game.

[Jimmy looks like he might laugh, but stops himself, then looks puzzled by his own restraint.]

JIMMY: You ever play?

RENUTI: Only in gym class. I mostly stood in right field and tried not to get hit on the head by fly balls.

JIMMY (to himself): Like in Peanuts…

RENUTI: Yeah, exactly! Like Peanuts!

JIMMY: Me too. I mean, I had…aspirations, tried pitching a couple times, but it was just not in the cards for me.

RENUTI (smiling): Like winning a championship for the Mets.

JIMMY (more amused than hurt): Ouch!

RENUTI: Hey, they're my team too.

JIMMY (realizing): You grew up here?

RENUTI (almost insulted): Queens born and raised!

JIMMY: …Oh.

RENUTI: Nine months we've known each other, and you think I could be from what, New Jersey?

JIMMY (defensively): I didn't! I didn't think– I mean–

[A beat. They both look awkward.]

JIMMY (as a sort of peace offering): I'm from Queens too.

[Renuti turns towards him with a cautious smile, accepting the olive branch.]

RENUTI: No kidding.

JIMMY (solemnly): I would never kid about this.

[Renuti grins. Beat.]

[Wide shot of the two of them, standing side by side but not facing each other. They both get the sudden sense that something has shifted in their dynamic, and the change is possibly irreversible. They go through simultaneous but differing face journeys, ending on something like concern (Renuti) and horror (Jimmy). Oh god, they could've been friends.]

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oc tournament: round 1 match 1!

picrew here

Jimmy Drucker:

he/they

20

bisexual

wow! this guy sucks! /affectionate.

the thing about jimmy that you have to understand is that his primary emotion at all times is Fear. they are genuinely extremely terrified like 99% of the time and at this point they don’t even notice. this partially explains, but does not excuse, the fact that they are also kind of an asshole.

oh also they work at knockoff buzzfeed and HATE their job (they wanted to be a REAL reporter thankyouverymuch) and that’s just not helping matters at all

Renuti Gilberg:

they/them

20

pansexual

a lovably annoying nerd. renuti's day job is working at knockoff buzzfeed, but their real job (and what keeps them going), is their pirate radio show where they talk about the things big corporations would rather people not know about!

they sound very cool on the radio, but do not be fooled. they are no thoughts head full of only love (and hatred of capitalism)

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oc tournament: preliminary round!

i need to cut the amount of ocs down to 16 in order to do this properly. now, the bracket is seeded by amount of posts in the character's tag, and conveniently, the bottom 4 are all from the same story! some of the crabs have to be tossed out of the crab bucket (this joke makes sense if you know that the story they're from has the working title "crab bucket mentality")

THE COMPETITORS: (the competitors)

Lillud Sabir. 20, they/she/he/any, really not worth talking about. hates having attention on them. please ignore her and fail to notice she exists. please talk about all your secrets near him. also hopelessly in Something with:

Renuti Gilberg! 20, they/them, bears an unfortunate resemblance to a tumblr sexyman. pirate radio host! somehow both the smartest and the stupidest guy ever. kind of annoying but we love them anyone. the us government wants this twink obliterated.

Leah Mei: 20, she/her, older sister. girl who is doing her best and living her best life. theater nerd, activist with a focus on prison reform, cat owner, really good baker but horrible cook. out of all my ocs she's the one i would most enjoy hanging out with i think

Cactus Rivera. 23, they/them, owner of multiple plants. unemployed and beautiful. guy who is just simply here to have a good time and make some weird art

CHOOSE WISELY!!!! (choose wisely!!) the top two will be placed into the actual tournament!!