#oc: mandy luan

[valleyfthdolls]

desire, for the ask game

Desire: what's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

Amaya wants love. More than anything else in life, they want to love and to be loved. They want to be someone who can fill every hole in a person's heart, fix their every problem, part the sea so they can walk. And they're very open about this. It's not really in Amaya's nature to be quiet about something that is so massively huge to them. But they would do anything to be good enough to make everything right for the one they love. They would kill and die for them, move mountains, do anything at all. Combining the very deep love they feel with the sense of obligation they have to those around them to sort of make up for being in others' presence, you get love that practically borders on obsession.

Virgil somewhat similarly wants to earn the adoration of those around him. He wants to be cheered on by an audience, adored by fans, have people come to him in flocks wanting to be his friend because of what a phenomenon he is. He's not open about this, partially because he knows how selfish and idealistic it sounds, and partially because he doesn't fully recognize that desire because it's part of a deeper longing that he's kept buried so deep he doesn't even recognize it- a longing to be good enough to earn the love of his family. Some part of him, subconsciously, fully believes that if he can just be entrancing enough, talented enough, worth enough, that his parents will decide they want him back almost twenty years after leaving him. He would do anything for this as well. He desperately longs for connection, but he just doesn't know how to achieve it.

Rina wants to carve out a name for herself that isn't defined by tragedy. She comes from a family that is sort of cursed. Nothing good ever seems to happen to the Aikawa family, and while that's something she refuses to be hung up on and pretends doesn't affect her at all, A, good luck pretending that you don't care that someone you used to think was the coolest person in the world is dead and you'll never see them again, B, everyone else expects that Rina will be, as she says, nothing more than a mourner. And she refuses to be. She doesn't want to be the girl whose family just keeps dwindling in numbers. She doesn't want to be someone who's only uplifted because of her tragic upbringing and doesn't she deserve the attention after what she went through?. She wants to be recognized as Rina Takahashi, a person, her own person, and she's very vocal (and profane) about this. And while she would never go as far as to kill, even for the only thing she really cares about with any passion, she damn well will force people to recognize her by making scenes, playing and using those around her to climb the social ladder, and cutting off anyone she sees as posing a risk to that.

Antonio genuinely wants to help people. I think that's the most tragic part about his character to me. Antonio is a person who, similarly to Rina, wants to be recognized as his own person, but he's aware that what he's avoiding being known for are things that are his fault- his history of harming others, his mistreatment of his family and those around him. But he wants to help people and to make something good of the fact that he doesn't really care about the suffering and death of those around him- and in fact, finds it rather fascinating. He knows right from wrong, and he wants to use the fact that he has no emotional connection to those ideas to help others. But he drives himself in paranoid, obsessive circles thinking about all the awful things that could happen if people found out about the kind of person he really is(/used to be) and how he can't let that happen no matter what. He of course keeps this quiet, but he would be fully willing to essentially regress back into all of those patterns- hurting others, treating them like toys, throwing them away, making them suffer intentionally- just to hide that he used to be that person and is ashamed of it now.

Tara wants protection. Being raised in a cult, he felt his safety was always at risk, and it did a lot of damage to his psyche, especially after escaping the cult when they were planning to kill him. He wants protection from that danger, from the trauma, and he'll tell those he trusts about it, but he'd just as quickly betray those people if it meant that he could be safe by doing that. Most of his spiritual endeavors were brought about by him trying to appeal to the gods for protection. So much of what he does was brought about by that need to protect himself, to find others who would protect him, etc.

Mandy wants to please others. It's kind of as simple as that for her. She doesn't talk about it because she doesn't want to make people feel bad for her, but part of it comes with growing up without a dad and vying for her mother's approval after being born out of wedlock caused so many problems in the family. She's constantly trying to make up for that. And unlike the others, she wouldn't harm anyone else for this goal, but she would harm and walk all over herself. She acts like a doormat to make everyone else happy. And honestly, she is tired of it, but it gets her the result she wants. People are happy with her. She's their favorite little doormat and she'll take that over being no one's favorite opinionated, vocal, overly passionate person.

Lori wants answers. Part of it is her own memory repression- as suggested by DESIST, Lori has almost no memory of what happened in her life prior to being taken in by Emily- which has left her with a lot of questions about her own life, who the people she remembers are, what happened to them, etc. and part of it is just her own curiosity and desire to seek answers and closure for questions. She's pretty open about this because it fuels her interest in true crime and unsolved mysteries and people keep thinking her fucking weird for it, and willing to commit a series of petty crimes such as property damage, theft, trespassing, breaking and entering, etc. for it.

Cody wants to be left the fuck alone. He is pretty vocal about this. He is not willing to do much for it.

[valleyfthdolls]

goodmorning . hunt

Hunt: who or what is your OC hunted by? A person, a feeling, a past mistake? Is your OC able to let their guard down, or are they constantly alert?

Amaya is hunted by herself, in a sense. Her own sense of right and wrong she cannot live up to, her feelings of obligation to those around her, her impossible needs that she could never ask anyone to fulfill- she is very hard on herself about these things. It's always am I good enough to deserve this, am I right, am I wrong, have I made up for the fact that these people cannot control that I am in their lives. She can let her guard down, in a sense, but it is constantly nagging in the back of her mind. The only thing that pleases that need is when it is fulfilled.

Virgil is not the hunted but the hunter. His need for fulfillment sends him hunting after things he cannot reach- fame, perfection, inhumanity. It's always there. To let his guard down would require a total overhaul in the way he sees the world. His view would have to crack entirely.

Rina is hunted by the dead in her family. The people she's expected to never get over, the people she, in all honesty, probably will never get over, but who she utterly insists she is not hung up on because if she says that then what is she if not a mourner? Her guard never goes down. Ever.

Antonio is hunted by his past mistakes. The things he doesn't understand that he's ashamed of, that he did because he was a fucked up kid who had lost his mom and with her the ability to care about anything ever again. His guard goes down when he doesn't feel at risk thanks to those mistakes (such as at risk of them coming out), but he will go on full alert as soon as he deems it needed.

Tara is hunted by their father. Not in a literal sense, but a figurative one. They grew up constantly under his thumb, being told that he would find them if they ever left, and now that that comes with an implicit and I will kill you because his father was planning to kill him, his paranoia has hiked up to a thousand.

Mandy is hunted by desire. The longing to find someone who will give her total approval, someone who she feels should give her total approval. She can let this go from time to time, but it's pervasive. Her guard is never really down. It's an illusion to pretend that she's normal, pretend that she doesn't have issues, to make her look desirable and worth giving total approval.

Lori is physically being hunted.

Cody is hunted by a memory he can't let go of. It's around every corner, in every sharp object he passes, everything heavy that could hurt someone, every ceiling fan that could drop and crush a person, every fire that could immolate them, every eye that turns to look at him, every paranoid thought his Prozac hardly keeps at bay, and every stupid, dangerous move Lori makes that could get her killed because Cody would not be able to live another day if he lost her. He isn't vocal about this, but the reminders are so pervasive and in every part of his life that he hasn't let his guard down in damn near ten years.