#oc/rorygilmore

[longingthoughts]

Big Girls Don’t Cry

𝅄  ✧  .˚ fandom: gilmore girls

𝅄  ✧  .˚ focus: Odette Schuyler, minor Odette Schuyler/Rory Gilmore

𝅄  ✧  .˚ content warnings: parental disappointment, parental disapproval, emotional abuse,  lesophobia/homphobia, emotional repression, kissing

𝅄  ✧  .˚ tags: angst, hurt/comfort, happy ending, odette is a really strong character that it genuinely hurts, trauma healing, fighting bad defense mechinisms.

𝅄  ✧  .˚ music: the broken hearts club by gnash, our word from 36 questions

𝅄  ✧  .˚ word count: 1,792

𝅄  ✧  .˚ originally posted: 2021-10-10

        Odette was raised from a young age to be the epitome of perfection. As the heir to her family's business, which focused on providing more tech to the rich, she was expected to take it over some day. Her father was the one who instilled this most in her because while her mother did too she was more focused on making sure Odette was the proper child into young woman. Odette's father rarely had time for her and when he did, well those moments made him grateful for the moments when he was gone. Even the seemingly happy moments were tainted because his disapproving frown was never too far away. Some nights the thought of him would simply not go away and she would be stuck ruminating on it for hours.

        Odette remembered when she was five, she had been playing in her father's study which was strictly not allowed but the nanny had lost track of her and Odette was curious. She knew father wasn't here and she wanted to know, what was beyond that big door. Odette felt safety when she entered, not because it was his study, but because of the books. They lined the walls similar to the library they had in their house it had quickly became the young girl's favorite room, she even had her own shelf. She remembered the reading test she had and how she had been able to read the little book upside down with ease. She continued looking around and found an interesting looking book. As she tried to pull the book from the shelf she knocked into the desk knocking the photoframe of her off the desk. "oh no" she said dropping the book instantly and trying to pick up the frame which cut her hand. She started crying and it was only a minute before her dad came in, anger flashing on his face.          "Odette! You know you aren't allowed to be here"         "Father, I know I just" she trailed off not knowing what to say and getting frustrated.         "Come with me, don't touch anything" He said before muttering, "You've already messed enough up."         They made their way to the bathroom and he began to clean her hands. "Odette, that is no place for you. That's my place okay" Odette opened her mouth to argue but he gave her a look and said. "Odette you must never go in there. It's not a place for girls."         "Okay."Odette had replied tears welling up in her eyes.         "Stop crying, Schuylers don't cry"         "Yes father" Odette did her best not to cry while he cleaned her up. She ran to her nanny and cried as she held her in her room. The next day the Nanny didn't come back. "Where's Abby" She asked confused when a blonde woman showed up.         "She didn't do her job, she was replaced." Her father said. "Off to work, I'll see you both later."

        Odette remembered when she was twelve, she was figuring out who she was and her place in the world. Since five she had fallen in love with the stars and history and whenever she was asked what she wanted for her birthday it was usually something around those subjects. For her twelfth birthday she wanted a new model telescope she told her parents about during dinner for a week straight. So when she saw a big box on her gift pile her heart fluttered. She smiled at her parents who smiled back. The party went on, everyone told her what an exciting period of life she was entering. Her friends all told her about their plans for the field trip they were taking to DC later that month.

      The next day her parents insisted she open all her gifts and save the big one from them for last. Her friends had all gotten her fun gifts she knew she would use hundreds of times over. A pair of planet shaped earrings, a book about the fall of Russia, a soccer ball with paintings on it of her and her best friend. She was still very excited to open the big one from her parents. She finished opening the other gifts and walked over to the big one. "Can I?" She asked.

      "Of course dear" her mother replied. Odette's heart soared as she opened it until she noticed it was a tech kit. Odette suddenly felt cold, empty, sad.

       "I- Thank you" Odette cut herself off. She didn't want to seem ungrateful.

      "I know you wanted that new telescope but me and your mom decided it's time you start focusing on what's important." Her father said.

       "Thank you I love it." She replied tears held back and a fake smile on her face. "Can I go read?"

       "Of course I'll have Elizabeth bring up your gifts."

      "Thank you both again, I love everything." She said before she made her way upstairs. When she got upstairs she could feel the hot tears slip down her face. It was stupid to cry over a present. It was perfectly fine and it wasn't like she didn't have telescopes. But her fathers words echoed in her head. It's time you start focusing on what's important. It's time you start focusing on what's important. It's time you start focusing on what's important. Those words were thinly veiled you aren't doing good enough. It was you need to do better. It was stop being a child. She heard the maid's steps coming up the stairs and grabbed a book and sat at her desk pretending to read. That night the first real cry about it happened as she took her shower. After all, Schuylers don't cry.

        At eighteen a few weeks after graduation he approached her in her bedroom. "Hello Father" She said unsure as to why he was here. He was never the type to talk to her alone when he could help it. "I've heard about, your crush and you need to stop now." He said not stepping in her bedroom. Her brain began to swirl. Of course he was talking about Rory. Beautiful, sweet, smart Rory who to him was nothing but a threat. "I'm not going to break up with my girlfriend because you want me to, I am an adult now." She replied. It was ridiculous what he was expecting her to do. She wouldn't do it, the thought of it was unspeakable. She had never thought she would fall in love with Rory and now that she had the thought of going back, of not loving her, it seemed impossible.

      "If you value your place in this family and the security it provides you, you will." Odette's blood ran cold. She knew her father wasn't a good person but she had never expected him to do that. She never expected him to threaten to disown her. She stood up from her position at her desk and walked over to him. He was taller than her so she had to look up at him as she spoke. "There is no way I am breaking up with my girlfriend, who I love, because of this family or the security it provides. You've known about this for years and all of a sudden now is when you suddenly start to care? Well it's too bad father because I am a lesbian, I am attracted to women and if I have to fake being straight for your approval than my blood would be on your hands. So unless you want me to pack my bags I ask you to move." She did not raise her voice the whole time, it was a deadly calm she spoke with. The kind that told him she was not kidding. That if he said for her to leave she would. She would find a place to stay, she didn't need to listen to him anymore. She was done being controlled by him. He didn't say anything he just walked away.

      Later that day her mother came by her room. "Your father told me what you told him, and Odette that's not what we do." Odette was done.

       "I'll leave tomorrow mother I am done here." Odette replied.

       "What you said to him, well it was abusive-" Her mother explain and before she could go on Odette stopped her.

      "What I said was abusive? Because I was done being a little puppy who does everything he says? What about the abuse he has done to me. Why are you blinded by a weak man?"

       "That's uncalled for."

       "So was telling me to break up with my girlfriend."

       "What if people talk?" her mother asked.

      "Then they talk, it's none of their business. I love Rory and I hope someday we have twenty wedding toasts talking about our love it lasts all night. But that's not your point. Your point is you and father are afraid how it will affect you that you are ready to let me destroy myself but I won't do that. I'm done pretending." Odette said.

       "Maybe it's best if you leave."

       "That's the smartest thing you have said all night." Odette replied.

        Odette still felt those moments, the moments that had hurt her so much. She knew it would never be completely gone. She walked out of the bedroom and into the cold apartment she shared with Rory. They had managed to get back together after everything to fall in love again. Odette heard the lock in her door moving and she was confused. Liv had a key but she usually called before hand. "Hi love!" Rory said as she entered the room.

       "I didn't know you were going to be back so soon." Odette said tears forming in her eyes.

       "I wanted to surprise you is everything okay?" Rory asked voice full of concern.

      "I haven't been able to think, my dad has been at the forefront of my head today." Odette said, fighting every urge to hide her feelings.

      "Well we can watch a movie and cuddle or we can get late night shakes" Rory said causing the tears to fall down her face.

       "I don't deserve you" Odette said.

      "You're right I give you too much trouble you deserve the world" Rory said making her way to Odette and sitting in her lap. "Seriously I love you, he will never know you like I do."

      If someone had told Odette this moment was going to happen in her sophmore year she would have laughed. But despite everything Rory was still the love of her life. She loved her despite everything she adored her. "Will you marry me?" Odette asked

       "Yes, yes, yes, yes" rory replied kissing her in between each 'yes' life wasn't perfect but this moment was beautiful.

[faraway-faraway]

"In omnia paratus" ☂️ . . . #gilmoregirls #lorelaigilmore #rorygilmore #loganandrory #luke #love #netflix #unamammaperamica #photooftheday #series #netflixitalia #friends #mum #passion #teamlogan #inomniaparatus #season #autumn #night #labrigatadellavitaedellamorte #umbrella #tvseries #starshollow #coffee #dragonflyinn #yaleuniversity #books (presso Banchette) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq0YclhF-oc/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1psg0vv8k3xr0

[longingthoughts]

I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece

𝅄  ✧  .˚ fandom: gilmore girls

𝅄  ✧   .˚ focus: Odette Schuyler, minor Odette Schuyler/Rory Gilmore

𝅄  ✧  .˚ content warnings:  cheating

𝅄  ✧  .˚ tags: angst, breakup, odette deserves better than rory, rory panicked but that doesn’t excuse her actions, dean was the side boy, one shot

𝅄  ✧  .˚ music: teenage dream(accapella) from glee, her heart by ian mcconnell, water fountain by alec benjiman

𝅄  ✧  .˚ word count: 595

𝅄  ✧  .˚ originally posted: 2021-09-07

       Odette couldn't focus on anything. Not on the music of one of her favorite bands, Queen, as it played or her homework. Everything felt wrong, felt off. A few nights ago it felt like her whole world had ended again. It would be easy to look at Odette as unbreakable because she had that air about her, in fact the tune of Killer Queen that was currently playing fit her well. But she isn't, no one is really no matter how much they insist they are.

       Odette wouldn't call Rory a constant but normally she knew what to expect from her. Even when they hated each other there was a stable capability that always felt dependable. She would never have expected Rory to cheat on her. The words still felt wrong in her brain. But Rory had cheated on her with Dean.

       Odette remembered the feeling of fog after Rory admitted the barest details. As if her mind was blocking out any information that would hurt her more. "I don't care what happened Rory, it happened. It doesn't matter how far it went, and I don't want to know. But you need to sort out why and I-" Her words had caught there. Odette hadn't known what she was going to do. She couldn't forget this information. Not when she lived in the same dorm as Rory. "I can't do this anymore." The words were less cutting than she normally would use, something Rory probably noticed. Odette walked away. She had said what she needed to.

       It wasn't a fight. It wasn't an argument. It was the end of love, the end of safety, the end of so much. Odette would say end of the world but that seemed a little melodramatic. But it sure did feel like it. Odette was once again in tears, the reason she couldn't seek safety in working anywhere but her room. Everything reminded her of Rory and she cried far more than she had in a long time. The loss of love from her parents, if it was ever there, was something that she expected. The loss of Rory felt like every wrong feeling combined into one. She never expected it and that made everything worse.

       She found herself searching her mind for signs. For anything that seemed off. She had noticed how Rory had been more anxious recently but Odette had thought they were getting through that. She thought she was helping. She constantly found herself second guessing everything. Every I love you, every smile, every laugh, every kiss. Was any of it real? Odette mentally scolded herself, of course it had been real Rory wasn't cruel, she wouldn't fake being in love, not the whole time at least. No matter how out of character it was for Rory to do this she wouldn't fake everything.

       Odette's brain had been going in these spirals, between logic and emotion trying to numb the pain with music and work. But nothing worked. Nothing had made her feel better. Nothing had really worked for her. Odette would survive, somehow despite all the pain she felt she would survive. She'd live and be happy someday. But tonight was not that night, tonight she would cry to the music of Queen and try to work on the essay she was writing about physics in outer space, something she was actually amazing at. Maybe she hadn't been a good girlfriend. But she was good with this and she wouldn't let her broken heart stop her from going for her dream with everything she had.