#oc tag: illusen amell

[omgkalyppso]

illusen? O:

Recently I found a dragon age origins wip from 2011. I have since moved it into scrivener and am thinking about how best to approach trying it again / trying to get it into a state I'll be comfortable posting on ao3.

The premise was that because of an unplanned pregnancy (with Alistair) my warden unwittingly had everything they needed for Morrigan's ritual to conceive a child and survive the story.

Here's chapter 2 of 7 (804 words). Please remember this is 13+ year old writing:

Alistair would have exploded were it possible. Was it anger at possibly being mocked, joy at the possibility, outrage at the concept, confusion of the reality, anxiousness to check on this fact, or any other of his emotions that hit him hardest? He clenched his fists and nodded at his companion in acknowledgement as he stepped around him to stand before Shale and Illusen. How must he look to the golem, the wizened old mage and the man who raised him as a father, he wondered, but Alistair couldn't help it.

He beheld Illusen with nervous fascination. Her cheeks were flush and her lips trembled from stuttering breaths, but she was breathing. Alistair could not believe it; here lay a Grey Warden who'd killed an archdemon, alive. Her hair hung flat against her head, which he noticed was damp and he moved to wipe her brow, but even before his hand touch her skin he could feel the fever boiling. He swallowed; perhaps she was simply not dead yet.

The arl stepped forward, "What does this mean?"

"I don't know," Alistair found himself mumbling incoherently. He looked up to Wynne, "Did something … happen?"

"We saw nothing more than you did, Alistair. A bright light, a bang, and that was all. I have my suspicions about Illusen recovering in sound mind however and I would like to voice as soon as possible my concern that the archdemon survives in her body," replied the old woman. She felt the gasp and silent outrage in Oghren, but knew that his uncharacteristic silence was as close as an agreement she would get out of him. The arl of Redcliffe gasped as well, but his reaction was out of horror and a more impersonal concern.

"Should we then strike her down?" he asked swiftly, placing a hand on Alistair's shoulder, which he shrugged off angrily as he backed away from the woman who should have been a corpse.

"No, after what she's sacrificed, that's unacceptable," he sighed and attempted to sound more calm as he conceded to the possibility. "We'll place her in a small room in either the palace, Fort Drakon, or your estate, to be equipped with a healer, a guard and a magically barred door until such time she recovers and proves to be of sound mind … or we receive assurance from the Grey Wardens of Orlais, that she is healthy."

Arl Eamon lowered his head and closed his eyes, recognizing desperation in Alistair from his sudden use of such professional diction. He hoped this passion could be applied to more publicly relevant tasks.

"As you wish," said the old man in a hush. As he waved over two guards from behind himself he called, "Escort the Warden to the south east guest chamber, and as this area is secured, relieve those who are taking shelter in my basement, find a healer among them and bring them to her."

"Yes, ser," agreed the soldiers before approaching Shale, at which point they suddenly seemed apprehensive of their task. The golem raised an eyebrow (or, what could at best be called an eyebrow) at the silly little men and spoke up.

"I will carry it," she said plainly and turned to walk to the arl's estate. No one spoke against Shale, and Alistair was grateful of the old soul's loyalty.

For six days the Warden slept, during which time Alistair was crowned king, men were sent to reclaim Lothering and the residents of Denerim were working diligently to have their home returned to its former glory. On the eve of the sixth day a messenger from the Orlesian Grey Wardens arrived bearing news that they would be arriving within a fortnight and that they were seeking answers as to how Illusen lived and what her condition was. Alistair answered their questions as best he could, but was dismayed that the messenger did not arrive bearing advice. He was glad to be able to discuss Illusen's situation however, as he had been very busy the past few days and so had had no time to talk to anyone about it without being selfish. This would also only be the second time he would be able to visit Illusen's room, as he was told it would be inappropriate otherwise. The messenger had a lengthy conversation with the healer, but no information arose that might answer anyone's questions. Whether she would even wake from this slumber was still anyone's guess.

It seemed Illusen had started having nightmares and tossed violently or sobbed from time to time. She was definitely in the Fade and whether her trials were real or imagined, the regular guard had been replaced by two templars, one of whom was Cullen, someone Alistair felt could be trusted to securely watch over his mage.

He was wrong.

[omgkalyppso]

OTP Asks...again! Creator's choice! 😁

11. Who leaves notes in the other one's lunch? (Bonus: what do they say?)

13. Stay home/go-out? What are their date nights like?

15. Who's the first to cry during movies that don't seem sad?

16. Who hogs the covers?

24. Sleeping/cuddling positions? (Big spoon, little spoon, etc.)?

You spoil me. fghfdgh Thank you for the ask. <33

I'll answer for: Meabh x Enver. Zoran x Jeritza. Celeste x Kaidan. Illusen x Zevran.

11. Who leaves notes in the other one's lunch? (Bonus: what do they say?)

If Meabh left a note for Enver in something like a lunch, he would have that meal incinerated, but he might keep the note. It would be like a bloody fingerprint, perhaps a suspiciously red kiss mark and a note like "[code name] taken care of." If Enver had a meal made for Meabh to take to-go, it might contain a cryptic note that just says, "None of my cheap lies <3." They'd both like that.

Zoran would be more likely to make lunch, but less likely to leave a note. After more than a few exchanges, Jeritza might return the gesture on more than one occasion with simple notes that say, "Thank you."

Kaidan was a little disappointed that Celeste was a dab hand in the kitchen, partially because he was striving to impress, and because they're more than a little competitive; but also because it was another one of Celeste's many passions that she never indulges in. He would make lunches, with little uplifting messages and queries about the food, "You're doing great today." "You remember when we ordered pickles last? That restaurant is still standing because of you; we should go back." "I'm not sure how I feel about this sauce, do you like it?" "Give them hell." "So grateful you're reading this."

Zevran is most likely to leave little notes, "Made with love." "Free of the darkspawn taint!" "Picture my lips around every bite." And on the rare occasion that he finds such a note from Illusen, he would cry over it, "Your favorite, mi amor."

.

13. Stay home/go-out? What are their date nights like?

Young dates between Meabh and Enver are dinner by the pier, making out under bridges and fucking in the room he had in a lower city apartment. Later dates between Meabh and Enver only took place at 12:30 AM or later, enough time for him to have a midnight ritual to Bane, and so sometimes much later depending on Meabh's schedule. Maybe they'd force a party with the criminals, since Meabh wouldn't want to let her guard down among the upper crust; or else they'd just stay up drinking alone, planning, plotting, playing — sometimes with actual board games.

Zoran takes Jeritza out to bars and taverns for singing and socializing, but most of their dates are quiet things where they craft things for themselves, each other, their cats and their horses.

Celeste would rather stay in and read, sleep, or tinker out calculations and simulations on her omni-tool; she comes to like the idea of doing any of those things with the noise of a biotiball game in the background. Kaidan can convince her to go on active dates fairly often, to help Celeste remember the world is out there, to be appreciated by it in turn.

Zevran's feelings are only openly reciprocated when Illusen is at least halfway through a pregnancy, and then she and her baby / child are never really separated. Their meetings and dates are quiet affairs in the sense that they aren't social things, but familial and private. Dancing to the wind or the sound of a music box, stargazing, storytelling, etc. Things change after about eight years, but it takes time.

15. Who's the first to cry during movies that don't seem sad?

Can't see Meabh or Enver crying because of fiction. Maybe Enver might get misty-eyed if something really accidentally hits close to home, but blink and you'll miss it.

Zoran is the first to cry during movies that don't seem sad. Jeritza can and does cry but if he's triggered by a movie, it's going to be that there was too much blood and he's about to lose his sense of reality, not that he's brought to tears.

Celeste and Kaidan are probably brought to tears as often as each other, about equally not-sad things. Kaidan would cry about how small a baby deer is.

Illusen is more likely to be the first to cry during stories that don't seem sad, but Zevran sometimes follows suit, if only brought to tears to see her so troubled.

16. Who hogs the covers?

Enver. He instantly wraps the covers around the pair of them if he wakes and notices.

Zoran. Jeritza keeps extras folded at the foot of the bed the fourth time it happens.

Neither Celeste nor Kaiden. When they are not in mil/itary mode, they both sleep like star fish and the blankets are everywhere, and nowhere, and braided, and it's too hot, but it's preferable to sleeping alone.

It would be Illusen because Zevran's had his physical clinging beaten out of him, but they keep blankets large enough to keep this from being an issue for how they sleep.

24. Sleeping/cuddling positions? (Big spoon, little spoon, etc.)?

When Meabh and Enver sleep together it is most often with one of the two of them with their face in the others' tits. Partially for heartbeat reasons. If they're spooning, Enver is little spoon.

Jeritza initially sleeps flat on his back if he sleeps at all, with no awareness of what is or isn't comfortable. Zoran would sleep on his side facing Jeritza in this case. When Jeritza starts becoming aware of his own preferences, he also sleeps on his side facing Zoran. Sometimes they hold hands.

Kaidan strikes me as a belly sleeper when he's alone, but when Celeste is present he slinks into her space and she stretches and rolls into his, so it's not very consistent until they're both too old to flop around that much. They take turns as little spoon when cuddling that way.

Illusen and Zevran's most common cuddling positions are Zevran on his back with Illusen tucked under his arm, and with Zevran as big spoon.

[omgkalyppso]

A few months ago I found most of an old wip incomplete from 2011. It follows the post-canon tale of my warden Illusen Amell who intended to refuse Morrigan's ritual and die fighting the archdemon, but survives due to her own pregnancy. She had spent the game in a romance with Alistair, but made him king and effectively ended their relationship through this act. Morrigan, while trying to entice Illusen into agreeing to the ritual, brought up that Zevran also loved her, and perhaps she would consider surviving for his sake. Zevran had never spoken of these feelings with Illusen, but overall now I ship her and Zevran together, even if she and Alistair would be more amicable exes in other situations / au's than their own story, where things slowly spiral, get heated, and hateful.

He is bitter, because he hadn't wanted to be king, and he would have loved her and protected their child had he been provided the opportunity; but with her values, she would not have continued to love him if he hadn't lived up to his responsibilities — and not that she still loves him, or at least, loves him the same anyway. Illusen ends up living maybe a decade, maybe less, as a Flemeth figure in the marshes across the sea, while Zevran travels back and forth from Antiva, helping his brothers, and himself, and trying to make a home to lure Illusen and her child out of isolation. Her (initial) continued refusal to leave makes Zevran worry that she will never love him as he does, but they do grow past that as a couple, just as they both become attached to their strange magical child.

This was all inspired by finishing the game, dying, having Illusen's eulogy epilogue, and then being back at camp and being able to complete Zevran's romance dialogues, despite there being no game left to play.

Anyway. I found the version of the wip that includes Zevran's first appearance. It is 13 year old writing, so I'd like to think I've improved, but ... it isn't so different, and thinking about them lately makes me wonder about exploring their story again.

Fantasized se/lf-harm cw, fantasized harm to an unborn child cw?, weird dreams, dreamed animal death cw?, and other weird stuff!

The dream creatures are the three Hawke siblings as birds of pray, Varric as a nug, Flemeth is the dragon, the black bird can either be Zevran or Morrigan, and the halla is Merrill.

.

From the previous chapter in the wip:

"Alistair. I am harbouring an Old God, whether that means it will be born to look as a beast, or simply act like one … I can't think of one person who'd take the risk of having something like this come into existence," Illusen said, but her voice trembled and her eyes swelled up with tears again and she was glad of not having been presented with a knife with her meal, as she would have gouged out her innards in a moment such as this. "Morrigan … She didn't elaborate on what it meant that the child would have the taint and the soul of an Old God - but we know that an archdemon is simply an Old God subject to the taint so we can assume …" "We can assume the worst," Alistair admitted.

.

Weeks passed, and still no decision had been made over the entity Illusen carried. A team of forty Grey Wardens and seven recruits had arrived, and only their eldest was permitted in talks relating to the Hero of Fereldan. He was a good Grey Warden; distant, imposing and righteous. Alman had taken it upon himself to commit to the idea of having Illusen taken to Weisshaupt in chains, possibly Tranquil, to be examined by those who had access to Grey Warden records and sciences. If he did not think her or the child such a danger then considering the alternatives, his was the best option for public opinion.

To Illusen's mild surprise, the Chantry was uninterested in claiming the child for priesthood or imprisonment. It was they who called for a silent execution, to have the Blight right and truly ended. The public was already told that their Hero was ill, that darkspawn plague was the reason she made little to no public appearances while her subtle bulge grew. Meanwhile Irving, ever the absent and failing father, pleaded with the king to force the Chantry to take the charge into their care. The Circle was so unaware of the entirety of the situation that the First Enchanter believed a horrid precedent was being set by the Chantry seeking to slay the child.

King Alistair could not bring himself to clarify the situation to the Circle, as their response was the best he could hope for, and when he met with the authorities of each respective group, he hoped one might sway the other to compromise and save him this decision.

Illusen had spent most of her time confined in one way or another. Even when she was presented to the army or the Wardens for support in reclaiming the Imperial Highway and burning the dead, she did not look for faces she knew. She empathized more than she ever wished to, with Sten and the suffering of a caged mind.

The mage let herself be led from one gathering to another to a bed that brought her more nightmares. They were not those of an aging Grey Warden, but still vivid and disturbing, and grew worse with each lost familiarity. Wynne and Shale were off to Tevinter, Leliana had taken up work with the Chantry and been nominated to lead an expedition after Andraste’s Ashes in her ruined temple, Sten had left by boat before Illusen had even woken that first time, and none of them had said goodbye.

She saw Oghren in the castle from time to time. He looked wearier with each passing week, she thought, but maybe that was just her own perception, but he definitely had less to say as his responsibilities grew. Arl Eamon selected some human soldier to head Fereldan’s armies, but truly it was the dwarf who organized the companies — and the Dalish, so that the remains of the Blight could be dealt with without allies becoming enemies. Each night he was drunk, and Illusen couldn’t help but wonder how Felsi was coping with life at court.

Alistair might’ve started drinking too if he were not such a light weight.

Her troubled sleep, and maybe the babe, had given the mage to napping mid day from time to time. She was no longer confined to quarters, but didn’t much care for the attention she received in Denerim’s Market Square. Wrapped in robes of deep violet, Illusen made her way to Valendrian’s in the Alienage. Despite her humanity, the elves treated her as if her only oddity had been her being a mage. He was good company, and provided a respite from what had become her life. She would rest against the wall in his kitchen while others brewed ingredients she brought in to a hearty stew, to help with the passing of the plague.

Her head swam and dark clouds hovered over her Fade dreams; her mind and world a maze and the same. Two large birds of prey ripped the flesh from a third, masculine in his plumage; he lay dead beneath a tree twisted as if by the blight. A dragon’s shadow swept overhead, but when Illusen’s perception turned to look, she instead saw a nug falling from the sky, swiftly caught in the talons of a mighty bird of prey, leaving its dead and damaged siblings on the ground. Coins flowed from the nug’s mouth like loud destructive rain.

As the bird of prey took them higher and higher, a cage of harsh lyrium closed around them, with sharpened points threatening to tear the strange duo apart. Illusen soon found that she was the dragon and that her wings were rotten and that she was falling onto the pikes of glowing rock and would crush all that was below. Darkness took her, and so too did a warm comforting feeling. Upon opening her eyes Illusen could not say if she were a dragon or a woman or a flea, but she was cradled in the talons of a funny little black bird and could see that the bird of prey and nug were safe in the horns of a halla. She relaxed and felt safe listening to the beating of the black bird’s wings.

She woke with fever; hot and sweating and uncomfortable. She could have whined and cried were she alone, but she remembered her host and fumbled to stand and greet him. The sun still shone in the window and Illusen was glad not to have overslept. The Hero of Fereldan gave her thanks and stepped out into the Alienage.

It was always a test to make it back to the Arl of Denerim’s Estate without being seen, or at least, recognized and this time she had failed before having begun. Zevran stood at the gate, both arms and legs crossed as he leaned on a wall, chatting up a young elf that left as Illusen approached. She could avoid her friend no longer.

"Flirting with the locals?" asked Illusen, her voice more airy and weak than she intended.

"No more than is polite," Zevran replied with cheek as he stood upright. He squinted and turned his head, examining the Warden. "You look pale. Is it true what they say? That you are dying of the darkspawn plague?"

"I ... don’t know," Illusen responded hesitantly. She wondered how she must look, and how she might look if she retched as she crossed her right arm over her chest to hold the back of her neck. She meant to continue her thought but Zevran plowed on.

"Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?"

Her cheeks flushed as she struggled to meet his gaze. ‘Morrigan told me,’ she wanted to say, ‘that which I could not see or appreciate.’ She hadn’t realized Zevran was in love with her and that was shameful enough in itself, but also now to be carrying Alistair’s child, and to be soon hidden from the world for her sins, insulted Zevran’s interest, honour and trust. Illusen absently cradled her stomach with her left arm, and found herself stuttering as she tried to answer.

"Andraste’s Mercy," cursed a familiar voice. Illusen found herself weeping into Zevran’s pauldrons. He held her close, and tightly, so she could not see his expression, but the embrace only had her sob all the harder. She hadn’t allowed herself a good cry for too long, and her body was a jumble of emotions.

Zevran led her into a back alley, one hand on her back and the other grasping one of hers. He had nowhere to take her, but the apartments in the back of the Alienage were still mostly empty and not completely destroyed. A few picked locks later he seated Illusen safely from the public and waited to hear her tale.

She told him more than she expected to, and he listened more attentively than anyone else had since becoming the Hero of Fereldan. He knew everything now, more even than she.

"I saw Morrigan leave, I'll have you know," Zevran contributed as he leaned back in what remained of a chair. Illusen’s expression changed to surprise and he continued, "Those of the army who saw her say she vanished without a trace, but I ask you: what did she have to leave behind? Bah.

"Sten was blinded by your glory, and Leliana worked to kill more darkspawn, but I looked to Morrigan and saw her eyes. She looked hurt ... betrayed," he paused. "Why would you do something so foolish? Why not let her have the child and save your life?"

"I didn’t know what the child would become ... she even refused to call it a child, I don’t even know what it is that grows inside me ... I expected to be stopping an evil ritual not becoming the catalyst for it." Illusen was calmer than she expected. She did not even feel as if she were defending herself or her actions, Zevran simply sought answers, nothing more.

"What will you do?" asked the elf.

"Wait," replied the mage. "I will not fight my order, my king or the Chantry. I will accept their decision."

Zevran cocked an eyebrow before smirking and leaning forward in his chair, "Warden, perhaps you have them convinced, maybe even yourself, but not I. Would you not leave if you had the choice?"

Illusen’s azure eyes examined the elf slowly and she was quiet for a long time. This was why she had been avoiding him, truly. He was her man, through and through, and both of them were nothing after what they’d experienced, not Wardens, nor Crows, or anything respectable. Her lips trembled as she leaned in for the kiss, and she sighed heavily as she pressed her head against his chin and placed a hand on his heart.

"You will take me away won’t you?" she begged.

"When the time is right," he answered.

[omgkalyppso]

[omgkalyppso]

[omgkalyppso]

Fanfic Writer Tag Game

I'm sure this was supposed to be done before the new year but it's 2021 somewhere. @bladesandstars tagged me, thank you for thinking of me!

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I have never loved and thought about a ship as much as my fe3h ot4. I feel like they shouldn't count, since 50%+ of the content is headcanon and self-generated, but claude x lorenz x hilda x fae occupy my mind and will surely represent some huge part of me if or when I'm able to set them down for some new interest. Real ships that would be more comprehensible answers: dragon age's warden* x zevran, and dbz's vegeta x bulma.

*This could be anyone's warden but if it's mine, it's my mage Illusen Amell.

How many works do you have on AO3?

When I started posting for fe3h, I deleted some past works to distance myself from a fandom I'd grown to despise. At this time, 65.

What's your total AO3 word count?

A respectable 532,632.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Please Don't Leave, an M rated overwatch, mchanzo hurt/comfort oneshot.

But How Bad An Idea Was It Really?, an E rated fe3h, sylvain x nb! amab byleth x transmas felix smut fic. It was written as a gift for a friend.

As Many Problems As There Are Stars, an M rated baldur's gate 3, astarion x oc fluff fic.

I Thought You Were Dead, an M rated mass effect 3, shoker hurt/comfort oneshot.

Eligible Means Desirable, Not Qualified, an M rated fe3h, ashe x claude fluff fic. Also written as a gift for a friend.

Do you reply to comments, why or why not?

I used to reply right away, lately it's taken me months. I feel like I have to either earn being able to reply by posting enough or feel like I need to keep the comment in my inbox to treasure before letting it go. I shouldn't do this probably and will try and get back into replying more frequently in the coming weeks.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I don't write angst. I write hurt/comfort. I have 3 fics with angst related tags but ... I'm a big blubbery baby and I need to write happy endings. I appreciate reading angst, but thus far haven't really stayed with it entirely. I'll say A Little Bit Of Memory even though this isn't one of my fics that uses the angst tag. It's a T rated yurileth fic that takes place four thousand years post canon.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I'll go with Trust Or Something Like It, which is an E rated syldue fic which was planned to be a smut fic but ended up with a rather long introduction and a very sweet conclusion, I feel. I went into it just looking to write sylvain into a compromising position and I fell in love with their dynamic.

Do you write crossovers?

I don't! But I wouldn't be opposed. I'd be more interested in writing AUs, but crossovers can be fun.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. I have had to delete 3 comments off my fics. Two were only because of my My Unit OC in the My Unit | Byleth tag. But when I used to read Awakening fic everyone always used the My Unit | Robin | Reflet tag for their My Unit OC's. I stand by it. The other comment was antisemitic.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

17/65 of my fics feature smut! Which is such a smaller figure than I'd expect. I'm very proud of the intimacy I write. Always consensual. Always queer. Often featuring a trans character. And 8/17 of my smut fics feature polyamory as a feature, so I write a fair amount of group scenes.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've seen my blog on mirror sites before, and so yeah, I think anything I've posted to tumblr has been stolen.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet! I'd love to work with someone on this if anyone's interested.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really. I talk to people and ask for their input, but not to the extent of us each writing a section or working together as co-writers would. I am uncertain if I'm ready for that but there are some people I'd trust.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but dont' think you ever will?

I don't think it counts as a WIP because I have nothing else immediately written down but my fic On The Isle Of Thunder reached a stopping point and at the time was declared to be on indefinite hiatus and still is. It's an M rated world of warcraft, lor'themar theron x oc adventure & romance fic. I was playing the battle for azeroth expansion and I just hated it so much. I don't know that I can ever go back to that universe.

What are your writing strengths?

I'd like to think I'm good at finding character voices. I'll often look at / listen to dialogue to try and get pacing and vocal ticks, expressions and maybe even a canon phrase or two into what I'm writing. I'd like to think I'm good at setting the emotional mood in my smut fics. And maybe I'm good at balancing having a larger number of characters in a scene.

What are you writing weaknesses?

I'm repetitive. I worry I over-describe movement and under-describe atmosphere and setting. I worry the characters I write are unrealistic when I want them to be relatable.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think that this can be fun, but that writing in the vocal tags that the character is speaking another language but continuing the fic in the same language as originally if the perspective / narrator understands it, or not including the written dialogue if the perspective / narrator doesn't understand it, works just as well. I have used a word or two of various languages in the midst of my fics for the vibe, but I think if you had whole paragraphs that this would be annoying for people using screen readers.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

At all? On paper in a spiral notebook, I wrote a Betty and Veronica fic where they shared a bra because it made them more popular with the boys, but it was extremely Gay. My mother found it and I promised I would never write anything like it ever again (ha!), and I showed her the comic it was based on, where this was the same fucking plot but it was about a blue pick up truck (somehow gayer), because she was worried these events had happened to friends of mine.

Digitally? A wizard fandom that I don't want to mention by name that you can probably guess.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

Unfinished? My E rated fe3h ot4 soulmate au I Wanna Be Yours. I will finish it this year. It's my biggest project on ao3 (135k words so far), and even unfinished, I'm so proud of it. The emotions I wrote in it, the emotions I had writing it... My obsession. My labour of love.

Finished? My G rated fe3h dedue character study written for the CHOP zine Sacred Dedication. I don't know how obvious it would be to anyone I didn't tell overtly, but I ascribed meaning to the colors in his attire based on indigenous significance placed on the colors of a medicine wheel. I studied over a dozen indigenous prayers to inform the prayer I wrote for dedue, and had another native person read it because even then I was worried I might be too influenced by xianity. But I tried to be very sensitive about putting a soft layer of my experience into his beliefs for the sake of this fic, and I'm so proud of the finished product.

Tagging: @allycryz, @sevarix-writes, @recurringwriter, @indigowallbreaker and anyone else who wants to!

Thank you to anyone who read this whole thing.