#oc - xu qingye

[cotyledonal]

anatomy studies of some ocs I did while sitting on the porch eating strawberries, bc I'm trying to find what will fix me

[cotyledonal]

THE THING about xu qingye (xu qingye my oc xu qingye) is that the thing she is most fundamentally afraid of is the idea of An Equal. she's been under the boot of more powerful beings and systems, sure, but that's a clear-cut opposition that she only has to live through long enough to once again prove that she's the cunt unlimited and WILL wiggle her way out of any trap. but An Equal? An Equal KNOWS you, bc they aren't distant from you, they can't be as long as they are An Equal. she simply canNOT have someone on her level; they must be either above or below (preferably below). her most intentional parallel is jynka, and his friendship is rejected right off the bat with a framing-him-for-murder middle finger. so, her 1st love interest comes up, genuinely asking questions and genuinely caring? well then he has to be shoved in The Sub Box for them to have any sort of life together, and this suits both of them well enough, but is that a resolution? is her character fulfilled in some way or another? or is she falling into stasis without even realizing it?

how can I confront her with An Equal?

my brain is sooo good at the moment... trying to think up themes and motifs and parallelisms while I can