#obvi zim is diffrent than just wanting gifts from me because i love it
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my life is a poorly written and completely self indulgent hurt/comfort found family fic written by a young and unaware plural author
#i am having a difficult time accepting people care about and love me in a non-romantic way#how do i let people love me without completely ruining everything????#like seriously i have never felt this kind of attentive familial love before#google how do i accept platonic love without fucking hating myself and getting caught in my own thoughts#its even worse because im plural and when im in front my thoughts and speaking in my head are indescernable#so they can hear every single self hating thought and insecurity#and instead of hating me for still feeling sad they try to make me feel better?????#like arent you supposed to hate me because im still sad even though ur putting all this effort into me??#maybe im just difficult to love but they like the challenge???#seriously what the fuck how the fuck do i process taht people actually wanna be my family by choice???#and platonically too???#like are they aware that all tehyll get out of this relationship is my attention + affection back#with romantic relationships i understand because my love language is gift giving + quality time#so you get something out of me whilst ur involved romantically with me#obvi zim is diffrent than just wanting gifts from me because i love it#but it made our relationship a little easier to comprehend and process because i could understand why zim would love me#but i havent done anything for these guys other than talk to them and sometimes drawing me spending time with them#or drawing them if they want it#AND THEY STILL LOVE ME???#i give zim a shitton of words of affirmation and play games with him and give him gifts#so like i can process our relationship better#because i give him things so i understand why he loves me#obvi i know thats not why he loves me but it makes it easier on bad days#but my headmates just love me unconditionally??? for no reason other than i exist???#not all of them but a decent portion of them have adopted me#am i charming?? manipulative??? why why why do they like me???? im so confused
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