#obv i couldn’t do super detailed work for everyone but i wanted to still put effort into everything i did :)

[dovesick]

that’s a wrap on artfight! thank you so much to everyone who attacked me, i had a blast :D hope you guys all had fun too

[andthenhewentonliving]

Only read if you want to experience the wild ride I have been through today (or a portion of it) regarding my mother 

I found some emails from my mom this morning (well yesterday morning cause it’s after midnight but anyways) and there were several emails to my dad about this plan she contrived to trick me into hospitalizing myself. My ex fiance and brother and psychiatrist were all involved (although the psych ended up doing her job??????? she didn’t threaten to 10-13 me like my mom had asked her to in hopes that it would get me to go voluntarily and when my parents called her after the appointment she called me and asked if she could talk to them and I said no and that was the end of that). But my mom had planned it out for my ex fiance to literally steal my car so I couldn’t drive away and “escape” as my mom put it and my dad had turned off my phone (I remember my phone not working that day and it being weird but thought nothing of it) so I couldn’t call anyone else and my parents literally lied about the reason they were coming up to Statesboro literally so they could try to commit me because they think I’m delusional and crazy for coming out as a lesbian. Especially after, it turns out, my ex fiance lied his ass off about a bunch of shit that I supposedly did (but didn’t actually do) and so my mom now thinks I have a horrible substance abuse issue and then she turned around and fucking lied to like my entire family, family friends, SIBLINGS, and my godmother about what’s really going on which is that she’s upset that I’m gay and doesn’t want to have a gay child. And she wrote some really awful stuff about my girlfriend, too, and I just cannot get over how fucking angry this whole thing makes me. 

I was at my parents’ when I found them (obvs) and took pictures of a bunch of them, sent my mom an email from her own email (which she hasn’t seen yet clearly and the tense feeling I have before she sees it and everything explodes is going to make me scream) about how I had found them and was very upset and leaving and to not expect me for Christmas. Everyone else was at school cause both of my parents are educators and the three siblings still at home of course have school and what not. I had planned on staying until that night but I never want to set foot there again. Mostly, I never want to see my mom again. I never want to speak to her again; I never want to touch her or be near her again. Like I knew that me coming out was really hard for her and was willing to give her some time to let her just adjust and come to terms with it, but this was too far. My mom has not always been a great mom (especially once my teen years hit) and things just keep going downhill and now here we are. 

How do you admit that you don’t love your mom? 

I know I’m just angry and very, very hurt and need to give myself time for this to cool down. I’m honestly absolutely terrified that she’s going to do something like call the cops on me or call my job or something I just have no idea. I never thought she would do something crazy like that until I literally found the emails about her planning this very in depth “kidnapping” of sorts, as she put it and now there’s no telling what she might do. My dad must not have been totally on board with it because she told him in one of these emails (they must have talked about it in person and then solidified some of the details over email) that “It’s like planning a kidnapping...except it isn’t a kidnapping. We’re trying to save her life. Just tell yourself that.” okay what the fuck??? I’m literally just gay. And also it makes me super mad that the implication here is that my dad wasn’t on board with this and still went along with it because he does literally whatever my mom says. 

I’ve been thinking about this whole situation all day and I’m so angry and so terrified. I know that me revealing to my mom that I was snooping is going to start a whole cascade of issues. I know I’m not going to be able to see or talk to my siblings for a long time. It’s not that I don’t care. I do. I just could not continue to be a part of my mom’s life knowing that she not only thinks of me this way and literally schemed to try to get me put in the hospital for all the wrong reasons (I was not a danger to myself or anyone else and my meds did not need readjusting so dire that a hospital visit was necessary) but also my mom fucking said an incredible amount of awful shit about my girlfriend and that shit makes me seethe. My girlfriend has literally done nothing to anyone, they don’t know her and have never met her, and are literally basing all of these ludicrous assumptions about her based on lies and assumptions my ex fiance said and made about her. It all makes me want to just change my legal name and disappear from my family forever and become untraceable by them so that me and my girlfriend never have to worry about them again. Like some of the stuff my mom said was so absurd and just blatantly inaccurate that it was funny (like my mom in one of her emails mentioned something about her wearing a pink pantsuit that made her look like she was from the 70s but my girlfriend doesn’t even own a pink pantsuit??? although if she didn’t want one before, she definitely wants one now lmao we think that the pantsuit in question was my girlfriend’s red one but red and pink are not at all the same color and this particular pant suit is bright fucking red like there’s no way you could mistake it for pink in a million years). And then other stuff my mom said was literal garbage and just really shitty human being content. 

Ugh I’m so tired I’m going to bed 

[dr-reid]

Writers Block

A/N: I know I’ve been super MIA on my writing but this has been sitting in my inbox and hopefully it will get me back into it. OBV will be doing a part two, to keep me accountable for writing more. Any comments and feedback will be much appreciated. Love you guys!

It was about that time of night where it was very clear sleep would not be happening any time soon. Suddenly you we're grateful for 24 hour coffee shops. After getting a hot cup of coffee you sat in the small table in the corner staring at your computer screen trying to make some kind of magic happen. 

By magic you meant a story. Writing had been your passion since you we’re a child, unfortunately you grew up and realized it wasn’t the kind of career people survived off of. Both of your parents had made that very clear, they expected you to go to school, have an education, a career, not be some writer who was working three jobs living paycheck to paycheck. 

Which is how you ended up working at the BAU, your parents we’re incredibly proud, “Our daughter works for the FBI” just hearing your mom say that made you want to roll your eyes. Not many people knew you even wrote as often as you did, it had become your thing, a secret you left tucked away in-between the many layers of who you actually were. 

Writing meant being vulnerable, exposed, visible, all things you actually didn't want to be in your every day life. But still you wrote, mostly for you but it helped you get through your days. Sometimes if you we’re lucky you’d find that one thing that inspired you to write effortlessly for hours. Lately that thing had actually been a person. 

Spencer Reid. Dr. Spencer Reid as he was known around the BAU was the genius in the office, he was smarter than any one else no doubt about that. But there was something about him that made him incredibly dreamy. It became frustrating working with someone every single day and feeling the same thing, over and over again. 

So your solution had become to simply write about it. So far it was working letting all your frustrations out into stories that would never happen. It almost felt wrong to be constantly dabbling in-between what was reality and what it would never be. But usually writing things out helped you get over things so the hope was that any day now you'd stop having a crush on Dr. Reid. 

That day was not coming any time soon. The more you worked together the more frustrating it was to constantly look into his eyes and watch as he licked his lips whenever was incredibly concentrated. You had learned all his little quirks by now and had learned to love each and every one of them. 

Every now and again you’d catch your self smiling like an idiot as you started into space, how much more obvious could it be. You liked Spencer and there was no getting over it.

There was one person in particular who had caught on quicker than the rest of the team, Penelope. After a while there was no hiding it, she knew everything. Form your house crush on Spencer to the ways you had been trying so desperately to get over them. 

“Y/N, Y/N” you heard JJ’s voice calling you back from whatever distant world you were stuck in. “Mmmm looks like you were thinking about someone, he must be handsome since you’ve got that silly grin on your face again” JJ said with a devious smile on his face. 

“Yeah are you going to fess up and tell us his name any time soon?” Derek said taking a seat next to JJ. Everyone was a flight back to the BAU and apparently al decided it was time to gang up on you. “It’s nothing” You said trying to brush it off and continue reading. 

“Oh come on, it’s been like this for weeks just tell us. What’s he like?” JJ said trying to get at least a small detail out of you. 

“Yeah what does he do?” Emily said across on the other side. 

“And most importantly does he know your head over heels into him?” Derek said unable to keep his laugh to him self. 

It was impossible to stop your cheeks from turning bright red, what? No this couldn't be happening. “It’s no one, its nothing” you said trying to act natural. 

“Well, any guy would be lucky to have you” You heard Rossi say. 

Any guy? No way that could include Spencer. No never, you shook your head and pretended to continue to read the book in your hand. There was only one thing you could think about getting back home to write. 

After everyone teasing you on the plane you tried to look as alert as possible was you walked through the glass door and quickly ran for your desk to grab the rest of your belongings. Hoping to make it to the door before anyone else to could stop you Penelope snuck up behind you. 

“Hey you!” She said with a cheerful smile as she tapped on your shoulder. As soon you turned around to see her you sighed in relief, finally someone you could let your guard down around. “Hey P,” She could tell how relived you were to see her. “Has your writing been keeping you occupied?” She said with a sly smile on her face. 

“Oh yeah, it definitely has” You said rolling your eyes. “Any progress on the story” Penelope asked. 

Which was basically code for, “Hey have you made a move on Spencer or are you still trying to get over him” 

“I don't think I’ve made any progress, none at all in any direction this is heading no where. I don’t see the point in writing it any more, I mean is there anything even going on it’s so frustrating all this work for what?” 

From the other end of the hall way Spencer could hear you as you continued to ramble on about your frustrations which all seemed to centered around your writing. 

“Did you need help with it, maybe I could look it over?” Spencer said walking up to the both of you. But as soon as you saw him you froze, and Penelope completely changed her posture and neither one of you were able to look at him in the eyes. 

“Or not? I was just trying to help you sounded really frustrated and I could give you some pointers but if you don’t want too its fine” Spencer instantly regretted offering any assistance after watching how you had reacted. 

“You should totally have him help, Spencer here knows a ton about writing and book, with that memory of his I'm sure hell be able to think of something to help. I can send over the last file you sent me if you’d like?” Penelope said with a devilish look on her face. 

“Well I don’t want to inconvenience you I’m sure you're super busy, I mean we all have stuff going on and I wouldn’t want to get i the way of that.” 

“I really wouldn’t mind, I’d love too actually” Spencer said with a smile on his face. “Okay, yeah, sure sounds good.” 

There were a million red alarms going on in your head mostly you were screaming ‘!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’ cause I mean what else were you suppose to feel. It’s not every day you get to turn in a work of writing to the person you’ve been writing about for them to read it, no biggie. 

Wrong. After getting home you were trying anything to stay busy. It couldn’t possible take Spencer that long to read everything, and what if he figured out it was about him. Nervously you paced back and forth in your living room trying to think positive thoughts like ‘He won’t get to it today’. 

Or, ‘He will never get to it, and never realize it’s about him.’ 

That was the most positive thing you could think and honestly the one thing you were hoping for. But was that going to happen? It was torturous and the only thing helping you at the point was alcohol. Ah yes, wine. It was almost midnight when you heard your phone ringing, you sat up straight with your eyes wide open when you saw Spencer’s name flashing on your phone. Moment of truth. 

“Hello?” You said trying to sound as put together as possible. “Hey, it’s Spencer.” 

[bybyeblackbird]

Ok so I've seen PotC5 and for me the whole movie is appalling. Why do you think Johnny made the character so disgusting? His jokes just made me sad bc JD as a person has a great sense of humor so...??? What does that mean? Why is that all about fucking all the ladies who happened to be around? Why is he always so stupid when he was proven to be really intelligent in the original trilogy? Just... bullshit. And why did Johnny like the film???

Sorry it took so long to answer this, I wanted to watch the film before I responded. 

WARNING: SPOILERSDOUBLE WARNING: I wasn’t impressed, so if you’re looking for a glowing review please pass by, i’m sorry kids

Basically, I agree with most of this. And to answer your last question: Johnny would have liked this film because this is how Johnny wanted to play Jack.

Guys. I think we’re all trying to ignore that fact and blame his antics in the film on the writer exclusively. But doing that is ignoring that A) Johnny co-wrote the script and B) the MULTIPLE comments we all know Johnny has made, in the past AND on this very press tour, about how he believes Jack has no character arc or depth, and is just there to have fun. The directors ALSO said this.

Here’s the thing: I understand the defence about ‘the character was written that way in this film, he’s supposed to be down and then redeem himself.’ And I’m all for that! I would love to see that! The problem is, I didn’t see that at all. It’s set up perfectly to give Jack a redemption arc. That’s clearly what the script intended. 

But it’s not what Johnny intended. And it’s not what the directors intended.

Lottie put it so much better in her review, here. But what it comes down to is this equation: 

The main actor and the directors believing Jack has no arc nor depth + the script giving Jack an arc and depth = the mess we ended up with.

As Lottie put it: 

I could ultimately see what they were trying to do, and it kind of worked in the first half, but it was so poorly executed because ultimately they created a contradiction for themselves. the directors and Johnny have stated on multiple occasions that Jack is now apparently a character without arc or development, and yet they put him into a narrative where he is supposed to change in some way between the start and end point. I said this before when I remarked last week that it was ironic he had an ‘arc’ in this movie considering those comments: he’s meant to get somewhere, regain his rep, return to a ( mostly ) sober state – but they kept stagnating him in the narrative because he is this weird arc-less character at this point. it just didn’t make any fucking sense. if you’re going to put a static character into a narrative ( as Jack apparently is nowadays ), then you don’t put him in it at a relative low point, changed from the last time we saw him as an audience and apt to change/develop along the course of the narrative as he ‘redeems’ himself. you’re just writing yourself into a brick wall. he should have been FINE the moment the Black Pearl was restored, but they kept returning him to this earlier drunken, idiotic state without reason even after that point and it just made the whole thing really sloppy. you want to paint Jack at his lowest point? well by doing so, you’re giving the audience a stake in seeing Jack redeem himself and return to the character we know and love – and yet there was no obvious sign that had happened, no natural development that saw him slowly but steadily getting his groove back and taking control of his own narrative until the very end, when suddenly he was absolutely fine even though he’d been fighting plot convenient alcoholism for the entire movie. 

And that’s the truth of it. And you can’t blame it entirely on the writer or script (though he DOES have some explaining to do about just ignoring the trilogy completely *cough* compass *cough*). It was Johnny’s choice to play Jack with no obvious redemption arc, as the script set him up to do by showing us at what is obviously meant to be his lowest point.

And it’s not bad acting, it’s just Johnny’s character choice. With many movies you can say ‘don’t blame the actor, blame the script!’ But you and I all know that doesn’t apply to Johnny. Johnny doesn’t blindly follow the script. Johnny wants what he wants and Johnny gets what he wants. He WANTED Jack to be the humorous relief. He WANTED Jack to have no depth or arc - leave that to the other characters. It’s his choice and he chose. I’m not here to tell him he *can’t* choose something for a character he created. I don’t like it, but I’m not here to salivate over everything he does and everything he chooses anyways. 

He’s made lots of choices I don’t like. We all remember Private Resort. 😜

So anyways, clearly I had a problem with the way Jack was portrayed so I think you can guess my feelings about the content of the jokes he cracked. They were lazy and annoying, and I knew already how he described Elizabeth from all the comments I heard, but I still wasn’t prepared for how sick it made me feel, watching him descend to that level. It was disgusting. Johnny said he ‘really upped the stakes with the humour,’ and in my opinion he completely missed the mark and just made him so off-putting. 

AND WHAT THE FUCK WAS WITH ALL THE SEX JOKES???? not even just Jack but like… everyone???? Carina and Henry went on about his hand placement, the horologist thing was funny for about 5 seconds and then became stupid, MARTY JOKED ABOUT FUCKING SCRUM’S MOTHER like honestly i was so put off by seemingly every attempt at humour. The boat undressing scene was somehow even more disgusting in the film than the trailers, and that wedding scene??? fuck off. It added absolutely nothing to the plot, was put in for what I’m assuming was supposed to be comedic effect but wasn’t at all funny (to me), and used the tired old trope of ‘let’s make the leading man have to entertain the presence of this fat chick he refers to as an object so the audience can laugh at how gross she is.’ Johnny’s facial expressions were honestly great in that scene but I couldn’t even appreciate it because I was so repulsed by the whole thing.

THINGS I DID LIKE:

How protective Jack was of Henry, even if he didn’t show it overtly. Which is one of the only three moments where i recognized Old Jack (overtly sassy and pretends not to care about people but through actions shows he deeply does)

Second thing where I glimpsed Old Jack: The smile after the Pearl rose from the water. I saw that grin and I started grinning and Andrea looked over and asked me if I was crying LOL

Third thing where I glimpsed Old Jack: When his crew leaves him. That hurt look on his face tore me up.

CARINA. Seriously, can anyone claim that Carina did not carry this fucking film. I honestly kept thinking ‘Jack can u shut the fuck up so Carina can talk please.’ Carina was great.

Scrum. He fucking kills me, man. When he was trying to save Carina; man I was dying with laughter

Gibbs - there was one moment that for some reason was the funniest and purest moment of the whole movie? And I don’t know if anyone else even caught it and maybe it’s just cause I watched P1,2,3 all this weekend - there was a moment where they were on the Dying Gull while it was still on land and they didn’t know if it would even sail, and Jack bellowed some order like ‘prepare to set sail’ or some shit. and usually whenever Jack gives orders, Gibbs will repeat them and expand on them and give more details of what to do like ‘Prepare to cast off!’ ‘Prepare to fire!’ etc.; he’s the first mate obvs! But this time when Jack gave the order, Gibbs just goes, ‘Prepare to drown!’ AND I WAS DYING i was like the only one laughing but it was just so perfectly timed and delivered and sassed????

Barbossa - Geoffrey did well with what he was given and though i think the reveal of that whole emotional tie was super rushed and not well explained, I think Geoffrey did really well with what he was given to work with, and had my eyes watering in *that* scene

Anyways that was a novel but i started answering your question and then it turned into a full fucking review apparently - feel free to ask about any parts of the movie you want to know how I felt about, but be warned I’m in a very honest and unforgiving mood right now 😈

[itsjayyyy]

November 24, 2018 6:57 pm

Well, I think this is the first time that I’ve written some big plan in a journal and actually followed through with it. So yeah, I did do a lot of apartment hunting. I first tried my college’s (and the local art college’s shared) sublease facebook page for students. And it was hell, I mean someone would post about a room for rent for $700 and within 15 minutes, 4 people would have already said “I pm’d you!” Like damn. There’s no way I’d be able to find a place in my budget that isn’t gone already. I was about to lose hope and just look at my college’s affiliated apartments and hope for next academic year, but then I found a page, on my college’s website, that allows you to post a sublease for others. And this website was hidden so well, I’ve never seen it in my entire year of apartment hunting. A lot of them were in my budget (less than 600), and one stood out in particular, it said “my girlfriend and i are looking for a roommate for our 2/2 apt, etc etc” but then at the end it said “must be lgbt friendly because we are very much lesbians” and i was like sign me the fuck up. I messaged them on a wednesday, thursday rolled around and no reply (i was like, they have an android, maybe they just don’t check their phones as much as iphones do), but then it was friday and I gave up. I went back to the listings, messaged another couple in a 2/2, but on saturday still hadn’t gotten a response. Sunday I became a little more frantic. I messaged a third listing, waited ten (10) minutes before deciding that they also were unavailable, and messaged 3 more all at once. and then i laid on my bed and lamented about how I would never be able to move out. And then I got a reply from one of them!!! she said it was still available, roommates are two other sophomore girls at ucf, it’s unfurnished, etc. I was pretty down to take it but then, about 30 mins later, another person replied. And suddenly I remembered why, when I used Tinder, I only messaged one person at a time. The second person to answer me was in the same complex, but $100/mo cheaper. It’s like, I already got pretty far in talking to the other girl, I felt like even if it were cheaper I couldn’t go back on it. So I hit up rose and asked if she wanted to smoke. Her me and peter looked at the places online, and they both said go with the cheaper one, but another issue was how they texted. The first girl was pretty warm, using exclamation points and emojis, but the other girl was just “yes, it’s still available. when are you looking to move?” like such a cold vibe. (yes I know it’s stupid because 100 is 100 and I wouldn’t even be moving in with her, I’d be taking her room but still.) Even though both of them said go with the cheaper place, I felt that I should go with the other.

But then the next day in bio, I was asking for more details and I felt like she did seem kind of cold, like saying “ask the leasing office” and not really offering a time for me to see the place. So I texted the other girl saying I wanted to move in around early december and she became super enthusiastic. Like she sent me a good 20 pictures of the place, and even said I could come over that day to look at the place (this was last monday). I did, around 5:30 (well I came at 5:15, then left to go to the boba shop next door, then came back). She was waiting for me in the parking lot bc I got super lost (I forgot that the numbers outside of the building is the ADDRESS. I didn’t look at the listing’s address I just read the name of the complex and went there. oops.) She seemed to be south asian, like from there but have been living in america for at least a few years, she said she’s moving out because she just got married, etc. The apartment had a style that I would probably describe as oatmeal- light brown carpets, cream walls, very bland, very 2000′s low-income apartment. But hey! I love it! It’s got its own bathroom, walk-in closet, and a huge window facing the back of the property so when I want to smoke I’m gucci. (off topic: I haven’t listened to cherry bomb by nct since feb 5th. wow. That was prob around the time when ami showed it to me in chem in spring.) I told her that I would apply for the sublease the next day, and I did. Despite not having any classes or any reason to go to the east side.

They said that they check 3 things: a credit score of at least 650 (i have a 695), 3x the rent in income (rent is 535, I have 700 from work and 1000 in scholarships per month), and rental history (yeet). They said if you don’t have one of the requirements you can make up for it with either a guarantor, “like a parent cosigning” (YEET) or a larger security deposit. The girl subleasing the place said she was fine with giving up her security deposit, like she didn’t even want me to pay her for it, so I’m going to see if I can add another 300 onto it so they might let me sign. They told me they’d let me know likely on Monday or Tuesday. Also on Tuesday I’ll be going to a meeting for the pride association with a friendsgiving theme, since obvs not every gay kid can go home to a loving family. Maybe I’ll find someone there. Recently I’ve just been becoming so damn bitter about being single, ugh. Like, not bitter enough to identify as an incel, but like, bitter enough to spend all of my time self-loathing.

So I haven’t been able to tell if things have gotten better or worse between me and rose, or if it’s just my period coming up that is making me act like this. In one of the low points of self-loathing (I’m still single, I have no friends, rose is the golden child in the family while I’m hated, rose’s stupid boyfriend comes over for dinner 6 days a week when I could NEVER be afforded that luxury, I’m ugly, etc), I was isolating myself in my room, scrolling down the homepage of reddit, when I saw a post on r/lgbt that was cross-posted from r/gaming or something similar. It said “in the new pokemon games, professor oak doesn’t ask if you’re a girl or a boy, he just says “what do you look like” with different options. Before I could be like “yea fuck the gender binary” i had to be like “there are new pokemon games????” And I looked it up and there were. But it was on the switch, not the 3ds. I messaged rose about it, but she was off on her 6-month anniversary with peter so she wasn’t super interested (she did say “oh don’t buy it” bc it was 350). Let me tell you, when you feel like nobody loves you, the one sure source of love is a credit card with a $2,500 line. I got out of bed, got dressed, and went to target and bought a switch, with the new game. And I played it all night. It was better than any other pokemon game, because it was a revamp of the original game, and I grew up playing pokemon leafgreen, the first revamp of the original. I was reliving my childhood. Of course, when I posted it on my story, rose messaged me, saying “did you seriously buy it?” Like yes, I seriously bought it, because my parents never bought me anything other than the legal bare minimum as a kid, because unlike rose, I have disposable income and aren’t burdened with creditors, because I want something fun to occupy the time so I don’t spend every waking minute wanting to kill myself. Is that so bad, that I spent $350 on something that gave me more happiness than anyone else ever would?

Another thing that pissed me off: after I said yea I bought it, her first reaction was “are there two player games?” when I said it’s mine, I bought it, she said “what if I bought one too?” Why can’t I ever have something to myself? She has her own life, her own personality, her own friends, but whenever I have something, she HAS to have it too, or at least put her hands all over it. I buy a video game? She has to play it too. I listen to a new band? She has to listen to them too. I say I’m queer? She cheats on her (now ex) boyfriend with a girl to experiment and say she’s 1% bi (and then promptly never touches a girl again. and doesn’t come to pride. and doesn’t participate at all in anything related to the lgbt community.) It never ends, she yanks every interest out of my hand, parades it around, before tossing it back to me, all crumpled up and gross.

Two days after I bought it, I had begun to stabilize. Was my mood improving because of pokemon, or because I’m getting closer to my period and my hormones are balancing out? The world may never know. 

My mom finally enrolled in healthcare. One day, I told rose that I wanted to go hang with peter, and she said “after dinner.” I was like, I literally want to avoid dinner because of our parents, that’s the point of us hanging out, they don’t love me. And she, being the centrist she is, gave her whole “yes they do love you, at least mom” spiel, at which point I brought up that neither of us have healthcare. From when I was 12 all the way to adulthood, everyone in my family knew that I needed braces, not just for cosmetic reasons but medical too. And every time I asked my parents, they’d say they would be getting around to it soon. Which is the exact same rhetoric I heard about my healthcare, now as an adult. But I knew that mom had already enrolled dad in his healthcare, so why are rose and I still left in the dark? After saying this, rose spent the next week twisting mom’s arm, and since everyone loves rose, she got around to it. It’s gonna be 134 per month, but I’m paying for it via scholarship in january. I still haven’t told my parents I plan on moving out, I probably won’t until I get approved for sure. Just gotta wait for Monday/Tuesday/whenever.

So, I’m being stalked. (okay i feel like this update is jumping all over the place, but I’m just trying to go from one complete topic to another, not chonologically bc then I’d miss something.) One day I was walking from the library to visual arts, when I saw out of my periphery walking towards me was what looked like savon. We didn’t make eye contact, and right then peter replied to our game of cup pong so I looked down at my phone as I responded with my move. As I walked past him, I heard him mumbling something to himself (something he often did if he wanted to get my attention without making it look like he was trying to get my attention). I felt like I wanted to die, just being within a 10 foot radius of him. 

And it got worse. The next time I had to go to that class (maybe monday? idk), I didn’t see him on the sidewalk, but as I walked into the building through one door I saw him going out the other door, as in the one next to me. He was wearing sunglasses (indoors?) and carrying one of those first-year engineering student boxes, and looking in my direction. I was looking at the door, of course. It doesn’t take a detective to figure out his m.o.- stand around the entrance of the building (that he saw me go in at 2:25 pm on a mwf day), where the windows are tinted, so he would be able to see me going in but I wouldn’t be able to see him inside. After class I hid in the bathroom for 45 minutes, because I was so afraid that he was waiting outside of the building or something. UGH. why do I have to live in fear on my own damn campus. Luckily, I only have one more class meeting in that room for this semester, and I’m probably gonna come a whole lot earlier, and from the other entrance. What scares me is that I posted my schedule on snap, and spriley saw it. I mean, it was at an angle and kind of blurry (caption was more important, just me bitching about how I’m gonna be on campus from 7am to 7pm). And I don’t think that spriley would take the time to watch my 6-second story a million times to copy down the classrooms and times. He just outright doesn’t like me, nothing like savon’s weird obsession with me, a girl he knew in high school but otherwise hasn’t spoken to in almost 2 years. I’m calling it now, if anyone shoots up ucf, it’s gonna be savon.

So let’s lighten the subject a little: we’re almost to the end of the semster!!!! It’s this week, then finals week, then that’s it. And as a matter of fact, this week is the online exam for sociology, and the roundtable discussion for composition (and the video I’m gonna knock out real quick, so I’ll be done soon.) My last three exams are all going to be done on Wednesday and Thursday of finals week. So Monday and Tuesday I don’t have any classes, so those are the days that I’m looking at moving out on. It’s lit.

Last week I posted on my snap how someone parked a limebike in a motorcycle parking spot, and heather messaged me saying “girl where have you been.” I mean, she made no attempt to contact me for the last month, but whatever we’re living our own lives. I told her I was focusing on school and stuff, and she said we should meet up. I was like yea sure, but the next day she didn’t show lol. She later said she was taking an exam and it was way longer than she expected, but we never made plans to meet up again. I guess that’s just the way most high school friendships go.

Okay I think I’m gonna end the update here, I’ve covered almost everything important. Tomorrow, Sunday, I work at cinnabon closing 2-9. I’m gonna grind to finish this econ homework tonight, then monday I’m gonna start rehearsing my presentation for comp or whatever. Start studying for finals, maybe take my final in sociology, ya know, just play it by ear.

(wow it’s 8:46 now. this update almost took 2 hours.)