#obsessed with fics where reader isnt the one getting taken care of

[the-blaze-empress]

no joke I switched to desktop JUST so i could type this out on an actual keyboard instead of my phone

starting off with chap 4 OH MY GOD okay we get a little bit of backstory with chat!!! they are Not Human which makes sense but we get confirmation!!! Chat is Phil's BIGGEST SUPPORTER it might be because he's just a Kid but i feel like it's more than that, Chat seem like sneaky little bastards plus they Know Something I have a feeling they have ulterior motives o.O and I touched on this briefly but I ADORE the reptition of "you feel guilty" it's reminiscent of a thought that just won't stop pestering you but with that little tinge of unsettling energy that makes you know it's something MORE. and damn right Chat is never wrong YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN FATHER TECHNO, NO TURNING BACK NOW I am so normal about them <3 

PHIL'S WINGS ARE THOSE OF A CARRION BIRD?? FEMALE VOICE IN HIS HEAD?? AM I GETTING GODDESS OF DEATH MUMZA VIBES, BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE I'M GETTING GODDESS OF DEATH MUMZA VIBES. angel of death phil is TOP TIER- and that DREAM UGH dreams are some of my favorite things to read/write because you can kinda just go wild and show your character's innermost fears/struggles/injuries without the limits of realism or needing actual structure- you can literally just slap your readers in the face with metaphor and they HAVE TO LIKE IT because it's a dream sequence and nothing NOTHING is cooler than a good dream sequence. the mirrors, the mirrors surrounding him and showing him what he thinks is the worst and most shameful part of himself- GENIUS. And then THAT cage disappears and he's RIGHT BACK WHERE HE STARTED in another cage. A prettier cage, sure, but a cage nontheless. 

THE WINGS IMAGERY OOF i adore it i adore it all I'm frothing at the mouth screaming crying throwing up a bird in a cage!! Phil is a bird in a cage in more ways than one (MIRRORED CAGE- LITERALLY A CAGE MADE OF HIS OWN BODY THE SYMBOLISM IS PERFECTLY PAINFUL), his wings are clipped and he keeps fleeing anyway because he can't bear it anymore GOD. he is sisyphus. he is the bravest little boy and he just wants to stop hurting and stop being hurt. I want to hug him (BUT DON'T TOUCH HIS BACK!! BECAUSE HIS WINGS ARE THERE AND IT HURTS). Do the sleeves have something to do with the wings??? It would make sense- runes in the cloth to help hide them. I'm getting the vibes of either prophecy/curse, seeing as how these "stories" tell that his wings won't stay just tattoos for long. Which, that makes me thinks it's involuntary and POOR BOYYYYY 

characters sobbing after being shown just basic kindness is SO GOOD it's so painful but it shows so much about them without having to say it. They're used to cruelty and hurt. They've learned not to expect anything for free. They've been taught that they aren't worth anything if they're not giving every part of themselves to someone else. They've been taught that they aren't worth extra effort. They fundamentally don't understand the concept of being cared for just because they are human beings who need care and attention and OH the pain!!! the agony!!11!!! the shock and amazement and disbelief when someone is there just to be there, the fear that somehow they'll mess it up and things will go back to how they were, the holding their breath and waiting for their caretaker to realize they're not truly worth all this trouble. they're so precious and they have so much trauma <33333

and thus begins dadnoblade!!! I'm so excited to watch their relationship grow, this fic has me wholly and truly obsessed. The daily updates have been amazing, but please take the time to rest/take a break if you need one!!!! I will be eagerly theorizing in the meanwhile

oh if that isnt a fucking mood, i do that all the time which is partly why its taken me a Bit to reply lmaoooo. also HOLY SHIT UR ASK IS SO LONG??? SLASH SO POS

OKAY HI I GOT DISTRACTED TALKING ABOUT CLASSICAL CONTEXTS AND ALSO WHY ACHILLES AND PATROCLUS WERE GAY TO MY FLATMATE IM BACK NOW

yesss chat backstory!! there is more to come!! and yeah chats attached to the scrawny kid they met for like 0.5 seconds whos surprised not me. and yeah they ARE a sneaky little bastard and proud of it. so what if they may or may not have ulterior motives its fiiiine you dont need to know just trust them okay? chat is never wrong about SOME things. sometimes they are Very Wrong but They Will Never Admit That. though that is actually a rarer occurrence tbh

YEAAAA CARRION CROW BAYBEE WE LOVE SPOOKY BIRDS IN THIS HOUSE!! i am Looking at your theories and Saying Nothing <3 you will get ur answers <3 eventually <3 yes the dream!! i got to write two dreams in quick succession it was Great i also love dreams bc as u said, u can go BATSHIT with the symbolism and IT DOESNT HAVE TO MAKE SENSE also DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TRYING TO WRITE ABOUT THESE DREAMS AND NOT BE ABLE TO USE THE WORD NIGHTMARE????? IM DYING OVER HERE 'BAD DREAM' DOESNT HAVE NEARLY THE SAME CONNOTATIONS. anyways.

he is just a bird in a cage poor bby </3 im LIVING for ur analyses and i am going to pretend they are all intentionally like that!! (aksdjf i mean some shit is deliberate but also some shit has just Worked and im like huh neat) and idk DO the sleeves have anything to do with the wings? eyes emoji <3 poor boy yes correct hes Trying His Best

yeahhhh the fucking breaking down after being shown one (1) ounce of actual human decency is chefs kiss istg. hes so broken and this only breaks him MORE it should be HELPING and it IS but it HURTS and its NOTHING LIKE WHAT HES USED TO and yeah. trauma. we got a LOT of that in this fic wooooo

yesss dadnoblade (unwilling) (semi willing) (shut up chat okay its willing dont tell anyone else) im so glad ur as obsessed about this fic as i am bc boy oh BOY am i obsessed!!!!!!!!!! i will take rests and breaks dw especially since my uni has fixed the mc problem where i couldnt actually play mc properly so i will now be doing that A Lot More askdjfhdskj

do send me more theories if u have them at literally any point in time idc if its 2am i Will Listen

[writsgrimmyblog]

Rec List #1 Theme: 2018 Favourites

One of my fandom resolutions is to rec more in 2019. I’m going to post rec lists for some of my favourite Nick fics divided up by theme/content/ship or whatever I fancy throughout the year. It seems fitting that my first rec post of 2019 should be my favourite Nick Fics of 2018. If you’re interested in my Harry Potter themed recs, you can find them over on my other blog @writcraft under the tag #writ recs where I’m undertaking the same initiative.

This is by no means an exhaustive list - I’m limiting myself to ten recs per list and it is very difficult, I could have recced many more. I’ve read and enjoyed a whole raft of terrific stories and this rec list is simply based on my personal tastes which may not be everybody else’s cuppa. Please heed the content warnings the author has flagged on AO3 in each case, none of my recs include the content tags.

#1. Ten Track Sophomore Album by @junkshop-disco​ 

Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles | 4,228

Nick has always lived in noise, been the cause of a lot of it, but one day a boy writes him into a pop song and the whole world dissolves into static.

It doesn’t happen like that, not that easy, not that linear, but that’s the heart of it, the soul, if these things have such a thing.

My Rec: The Nick fic of 2018 is undoubtedly the final installment of junkshop-disco’s incredible Doodle of a Surface Life but that has quite rightly garnered so many recs by now if any Gryles reader hasn’t yet indulged, run, quick, what are you waiting for? I love DOASL with all of my heart, but I’m also a sucker for angst and I wanted to highlight this equally terrific fic in my rec list. The structure of this story, in which Nick loses his ability to hear music, is so cleverly done. It’s a very skilled writer that can create an entire fic around sound and make it come alive, and junkshop-disco manages it brilliantly. The fic reads like music, even as it describes the absence of it and it’s a stunning piece of writing. If you like your Gryles contemplative and angsty with confident, lyrical prose, this is the one for you. Junkshop-disco has such a terrific way with words I highly recommend reading all the works by this author. Every single one. But when you do make sure you take a moment to stop by this beautiful story and leave it all the love it deserves.

#2. Tell Me It’s The Strongest Shape by @louandhazaf

Nick Grimshaw/Elgar Johnson/Louis Tomlinson | 73,224

Nick and Elgar have it all. They’re famous, successful, and engaged to be married—and sometimes they play with others.

When uni student Louis gets street cast by Elgar for a GQ photoshoot, he's drawn into Nick and Elgar’s complicated relationship.

They've always invited mates into their bed. It doesn’t ever mean anything. Until… it does.

My Rec: This is such a great exploration of polyamory and the complexities of open relationships, and the author took a great deal of time developing the relationships between the characters and really working on highlighting some of those difficulties. I tend to gravitate towards fanfic where I care deeply about the characters, and although Elgar seems terrific I don’t have the same fannish relationship to him as I do to Nick and Louis so I was curious to know how I would respond to this fic. Basically, the author killed it. I felt such a deep investment in Elgar, Nick and Louis throughout and everything just flew by as I was reading. It’s also really fucking hot. Like, REALLY. Brilliantly done. I loved it. 

#3. Let The Boys All Sing And The Boys All Shout For Tomorrow by @lunarrua​

Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles | 18,429

It's February 1988. Thatcher is in power. There's a new drug sweeping through the clubbing scene. In Manchester, it's the eve of a major protest and a new musical movement. And when Nick finds Harry looking lost outside his favourite chip shop, it's the start of a weekend that will leave an indelible mark on both their lives.

My Rec: I saw the summary for this fic and actually yelled at my screen when it popped into my inbox. Gryles, set in Manchester in the 80s? Hell yes. The fic itself certainly didn’t disappoint, it’s absolutely beautiful. The author writes a well-researched, confident piece and the result is stunning. The atmosphere of the whole story is captivating and you can feel yourself transported to the heady days before the Manchester music scene shifted, the anxieties of the AIDS crisis and the fragility of the relationships formed during that period. The Harry of this fic has a transient quality which evokes the nostalgic reflection on a different time in our not so distant past. A real triumph. I loved this story with my whole heart. 

#4. Séjour by @silveredsound

Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson | 6,288

It is so quiet, which should be conducive to concentration, but Nick is bored and listless and lonely. He’s been there for two days and wants to know where the helpful lady is who’ll deliver him a gamine but takes-no-shit housekeeper who he can fall in love with without words. Words are not his friend.

“Where is my Love Actually moment?” he asks the ceramic kitchen sink as he pokes holes in the cover of one of the M&S ready meals he brought over with him.

«≠»

Nick’s got writer's block. Louis is a master of distraction.

My Rec: I’ve loved a number of stories by Silv this year and I was swinging back and forth between this and others, but there’s something about this little fic that has wormed its way into my heart and has taken hold so this is the one I’m choosing. As I said in my earlier reblog rec, this has such lush, evocative prose it perfectly captures the sense of a fleeting summer. There’s a seductive quietness to it, and a lovely unfolding of the story through snippets of tasting notes left by Louis on bottles of wine and Nick feeling a little bit lost and searching for words as he struggles with writer’s block. Two boys find one another in the warmth of a sleepy French town and it’s beautiful. Really wonderfully done.

#5. Fists & Flowers ‘Verse by @jiksax

Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles | 1,613 (Make It Worse) and 2,322 (I’ll Do What You Like (If You Stay The Night)

He’s looking at Nick with that soft, terrible look in his eyes, the look that tells Nick the two of them are probably something.

My Rec: If anyone other than Jiksa had told me they were planning an angsty fisting fic series I would have been like umm really? But of course, it’s Jiksa, so naturally I found myself sobbing at the raw, devastating intensity of the story. Jiksa deftly weaves the intensity of the physical act itself into the emotional tumult of Harry and Nick’s relationship in a way that’s incredibly beautiful. A bold, brave, superb piece of hot, confident writing, rich with emotional complexity. Gorgeous.

#6. Constantly on the Cusp by @shiftylinguini

Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson | 6169

It’s 5 in the morning, and Nick’s got an alarm going off, an unexpected bed full of pop star, and a nation to wake up.

It’s far too fucking early for this.

My Rec: UNFFFFF. I love Shifty’s writing. Like, an obsessive amount. I was so thrilled when Shifty started writing Tomlinshaw I didn’t know quite what to do with myself. It’s actually hard to believe this was Shifty’s first Tomlinshaw, because everything about the fic felt like they have been writing them for years. Louis is sleepy, horny and pissed off, Nick is awake, horny and wondering what it all means, and together they have this scorching hot, sexy moment. Nick’s internal monologue  gives us so much insight into their relationship and the fic offers a lovely, warm, hopeful moment at the end. Fantastically written and a sexy delight from start to finish. Loved it!

#7. this cookie’s baking by @disgruntledkittenface 

Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles (Genderswap Femslash) | 8,148

Harry’s eyes flicker between Nick’s eyes and lips. “I just want to be your–”

“Baby,” Nick says softly, cupping Harry’s jaw, “you already are.”

Nick and Harry have a long-overdue conversation.

My Rec: This was the first genderswap Gryles fic I have read and I absolutely loved it. The relationship between Nick and Harry feels so perfectly them and there’s a lovely warmth to the whole story. It’s light and funny but also contains moments of real emotional depth and those first time explorations and the hesitancy of admitting to being something more than friends is handled in such a terrific way. It’s a gorgeous story with wonderful writing and I loved every minute of reading it.

#8. let’s make some new rules by @camiii 

Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson | 12,743

A coffee shop, a Christmas party & a fake date to make sure no one gets laid at the end of the night.

My Rec: This was such an enjoyable read. I love camiii’s Tomlinshaw, and seeing this pop up was a wonderful surprise. Barista Louis agrees to be Nick’s fake boyfriend as he pines over an ex that definitely isn’t worth his time, and they become closer in the process. The pace of the story is wonderful, the flirting is brilliant and despite some misunderstandings and Nick’s no good ex trying to fuck things up, the ending is warm and hopeful. A lovely story, full of festive cheer. Thoroughly enjoyable.

#9. I’ll be seeing you by @daretomarvel​ / renlyne

Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles | 11,481

It’s 2028, and Nick’s bought a house.

My Rec: I love Ren’s writing and this Notebook inspired Gryles is a beautiful treat of a story, in which Nick starts buying little bits for his dream house. It’s hard to believe this story is just over 11,000 words because the world the author creates is so rich, detailed, layered and complex. The relationship between Nick and Harry has all of these gorgeous details and nuggets of history as it grows and develops, seedling-like, into something that might just be everything they’ve both been searching for. It’s a warm, hopeful, beautiful story but as it’s Ren, it manages to still tug at the heartstrings in the best kind of way. I read this again as I was putting my rec list together and did so with a lump in my throat, full of feels for the Nick and Harry of Ren’s universe. Gorgeous writing with bags of emotional intensity. I loved it.

#10. All I’ve ever had are love songs by @candybarrnerd / icarusinflight

Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson | 21,688

Things are finally coming together for Nick.

Nick is the DJ of his uni's radio stations, and he passively aggressively dedicates a song to Louis.

My Rec: Icarusinflight is another author who was already on my periphery from Harry Potter fandom who wrote their first Tomlinshaw fic this year and I was so thrilled to see them writing in this fandom and I’m very excited about their upcoming 2019 projects which also includes fics featuring the 1D boys in various ship combos. I love uni AUs and I hadn't read one for a while, so this was such a treat. I loved how Louis is sharp, sassy and confident but with niggling insecurities. Harry was so affectionately humorous in this story and Nick’s voice is wonderful. This is a really well-paced, enjoyable story with a hot af first kiss that deserves a mention all of its own. The music references, the tea and the cameos from various 1D members are all terrific and the writing is brilliant. Can’t wait for more from this author this year.

Bonus Rec: I was meant to limit this to just 10 recs but I also wanted to give a quick shout out to @nightwideopen. I’ve said this in previous rec lists before, but I am constantly impressed by the quality of @nightwideopen‘s writing and the way they explore things such as asexuality and gender dysphoria which can be harder to find in a relatively small fandom. I’d particularly rec so far (it’s alright) and i’ve been thinking lots about your mouth from this year, both Tomlinshaw.