#obpbl

[iftheshoef1tz]

Hello! I’m reading “our bodies, possessed by light” for I think the fourth time all the way through. This is the first time I’ve caught that when Azriel told Eris to not not call him shadowsinger he doesn’t for the rest of the fic🥹

Anyway, one thing I love about your piece is trying to parse out what Eris is thinking, given the perspective is fully from Azriel and he often has trouble figuring that out himself. I think almost all your writings since have either been from Eris’s perspective or flipped between the two. When you were writing Our Bodies, were you also imagining Eris’s perspective? Or considered writing from both perspectives?

Thanks for sharing your writing. Have a great rest of your week!

i'm so honored you'd reread it once, nevermind four times!! thank you so much.

when i was writing obpbl, i knew mostly what eris was thinking or at the very least his motivations behind certain actions. some good advice i got when i started writing howl, which is dual POV, was that each POV had to contribute something and couldn't solely be a rehashing of events but from the other character's perspective, and i think that's why i ultimately decided not to write anything from eris's POV in obpbl. while sometimes eris's emotions weren't clear to azriel, they're usually pretty clear to the audience espeically towards the end, and i think stating them so plainly would have taken away from azriel's journey/emotional landscape.

the closest i've come to writing something in eris's POV in the obpbl-universe was becasue of the song "this bitter earth/on the nature of daylight," which just screamed eris to me. (it will also make me cry almost every time i listen to it.) if i had written it, it would have been the aftermath of the first gay sex cabin chapters, just after azriel leaves.

thank you for reading and asking such a great question!!

[queercontrarian]

@iftheshoef1tz eris with his curse

it is what it is *throws up blood*

[queercontrarian]

obpbl memes II: obpbl out of context

@iftheshoef1tz

[temperedink]

☁️🍰

☁️ wip you want to write but haven't started yet

SO many. I'm dying to write one where Feyre and the Valkyries reform Illyria, but I am soooo not capable at the moment to write a long fic like that would have to be and to, y'know, completely restructure a society. (@iftheshoef1tz did it so beautifully with the Hewn City in OBPBL, and I can only aspire to that kind of greatness.)

I also have one about Elain in the Hewn City, and a couple about Tamlin (who I do not love, but I think fanon Tamlin has gotten a bad rap).

🍰 where you like to write

I write almost exclusively from my bed. I fucked up my tailbone earlier this year (skating fall) and it's still not healed, so sitting for long period of time is not great for me--but I liked working from bed anyway.

[iftheshoef1tz]

hello this is my cat soraya! So in regards to obpbl, how dare you. look upon your sins and weep (like i did)

tumblr hid these messages from me for so long but i'm just now seeing this excellent cat. i apologize to soraya the cat and to you and also to soraya from obpbl. MY SINS ARE MANY

[poisonivy206]

your honor i am crying on public transport thinking about @iftheshoef1tz's azris again 😭😭

our bodies, possessed by light

by: @iftheshoef1tz on ao3

He presses his lips first to the pad of Azriel’s thumb. “You are here with me, Azriel.” His lips drag along his other fingers. “And you are mine.”

It’s so awful, this tenderness, because it feels too revealing, but, he supposes, if he has revealed himself, Eris is no less vulnerable.

“I am,” Azriel croaks.

from chapter 38: "i can feel your body calling me."

This it the first of two edits I made because I couldn't not choose a favorite and this fic deserves the world. Find the second edit and a slightly mushy review here.

[if you haven't had the pleasure of reading this incredible fic yet... what are you still doing here? click the link]

[diamonata]

Azriel and Eris. Inspired by our bodies, possessed by light by iftheshoef1tz on AO3

Read obpbl here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37959277

[queercontrarian]

i'm gonna make obpbl memes to get over the fact that it's finished. i need to cope somehow.

@iftheshoef1tz

[iftheshoef1tz]

I just took a day to read our bodies, possessed by light and I just need you to know that it wrecked me in the best/worst possible way. I still have too many feelings and don't quite know what to do with my body???? Like I couldn't even CRY, but OH BOY did I want to. It's a fucking masterpiece I don't even know how you WRITE like that.

you read that in a DAY? i hope you were hydrated, homie

(in all seriousness - thank you so much!!)

[poisonivy206]

in spite of international postal services (my mortal nemesis) 💖 a bit of christmas love in march for my main squeeze 

Once again, @poisonivy206 is too good to me. Hawthlain art by @diamonata

[stellahibernis]

Sunday Snippets, Mar 19th, 2017

Well, the terrifying amount of unfinished things went down by one this week, since I posted Our Bodies Possessed by Light yesterday. Last week I mentioned I wasn’t really excited about the prospect of editing stuff, but I had a bit of a hectic week, and editing is kind of a low energy drain, so I ended up doing it over the work week.

I wrote about 3.5k this week, all of it yesterday and today. It took a bit to get going, because I was breaking new ground writing Sam and Nat’s POV, and I had to find my voice for them. There are bits from both their sections at the end of this post.

This was for the story in which I’ll be doing my version of the scenario where Bucky hangs out with everyone but Steve, and Steve predictably takes it well. Also, yesterday in OBPbL notes I said I seem to be in a place where my brain keeps inventing new complications for their relationship. Well, this fic is where most of those have tended to go. I think of something and just go, yep, let’s add it to that. It’s a bit of a miracle it’s not looking like an unholy mess, but somehow at least the outline is pretty coherent. 

Oh and it’s a post CATWS canon divergent AU, it’s the point in canon where this kind of a story makes sense for me. I’m still borrowing things from AoU and CACW, like the twins and the trigger words.

It’s also looking to be long, not as long as These Are My Hands but I’ll be surprised if it doesn’t pass 50k. I’ve got 7.5k so far and the first chapter and half of the second written, out of (probably) nine chapters all together, I need to figure out how the last third works out still. I know in broad strokes what I want to do but I ran out of energy while outlining after six chapters.

***

This is Sam, on the road with Steve post-Insight:

When Sam was little, he used to play he was on a mission with Captain America. It’s funny how life sometimes happens, the unlikeliest boyhood dreams become reality. Only the reality is nothing like the dream. The only part that’s the same is the broadest concept, he’s indeed accompanying Captain America on a mission, the fact that does, on odd moments, despite everything else piled on top of it, still give him an almost childish thrill.

Back when he used to fight the imaginary battles he knew nothing about the war, couldn’t understand how horrible it had been. Now he’s much wiser, and he understands enough that even if he was in a special unit, one that got sent into the most dangerous places to pull people out, he still knows from what Steve has told him that the reality of Steve’s war was much worse. Much more horrifying and desperate than he can imagine. It was nothing like he used to imagine, nothing like the colorful pages of the comic books, or the somewhat sterile take of the history books he used to read while a bit older.

Steve isn’t exactly what Sam expected based on the histories either, not like the image that had grown inside his head ever since his childhood. What is exactly as Sam had expected is his ability to inspire people to take a stand, to fight for their cause. Sam enlisted not in small part due to Steve, much to the distress of his mother, even if she had understood his calling especially when he’d made it to the pararescue. She understood then and still does the drive to save lives, and Sam remembers he’d pointed out that the first mission Captain America had been on had been a rescue mission. 

An unsanctioned rescue mission, as he now knows, and driven by a need to save one very important person instead of the abstract idea of doing the right thing and saving many. Sam knows that for a lot of people knowing this would tarnish the image of Captain America, but for Sam it’s all the more reassuring to have seen there’s a human being behind the legend, someone that’s flesh and blood, anger and sorrow and hope, distress and love.

It was worth it to step up again, getting back into action with someone that had been the reason in the first place. Back then, back when he first set out to get his wings back with Steve and Natasha Sam had though that was it, duty calling him back. Instead he’d ended up making a friend.

Now he’s driving a nondescript car on a back road in Romania, and he’s here for his friend, not the national icon. He’s here for his friend who’s fraying at the edges, desperate to find the most important person in his life back from dead. It all sounds so ludicrous it all might as well be from one of Sam’s comic books, except those stories always ended up with captain America saving the day and everyone going back happy. This time there are no guarantees.

***

And here’s Nat, on a mission with Bucky:

It takes them three weeks, getting information through both their resources, pooling it and comparing the details, but they figure out that Karpov is in fact alive, and living in Cleveland of all places.

“That’s practical,” James notes. “No need to figure out travel documents.”

They’re at Natasha’s apartment again, eating Indian take-out on the floor. James is marginally more relaxed than he was the first time, marginally more of a person. Natasha mostly doesn’t push him to talk, she knows well enough that at this point just being with another person is a lot. They can talk later. 

She drives them to Cleveland, and they break into Karpov’s place at night. The amount of traps and alarms that aren’t connected to any kind of official security company is rather a giveaway that they are indeed in presence of someone that needs to be paranoid. And for all that Karpov has been paranoid, it’s not enough, because they make it inside without making a sound and Karpov wakes up with a metal hand covering his mouth. 

Natasha needs only to glance at James to know they indeed have the right man, the way his face has settled into a emotionless mask enough of a giveaway. Karpov is exactly as paranoid as the traps indicate, since he’s got a cyanide capsule among his teeth, and in a true believer fashion kills himself. Natasha can’t find regret in herself, since she knows he wouldn’t have given information away, the level of commitment clearly indicating that.

“Saves me from having to do it,” James says, and Natasha realizes he’d walked in with the intention that Karpov would never walk out. It makes sense, she figures, after all even if they took the documents, Karpov still probably remembered the words, and it would have been too much of a risk to let him live.

“Do you remember everyone who potentially knows the words?” she asks out of curiosity.

“Yes. They always kept the group small, HYDRA didn’t even trust themselves.”

“And?” she prods.

“You know already. He was the last.”

[ofduskanddreams]

The Twelve Hounds of Eris Vanserra

from left to right:

Cinder, Blaze, Hyperion, Maple, Granite, Spark, Fern, Vulcan, Willow, Cheddar, Erebus, and Acorn.

my second offering for @erisweek2023 day 4: Hounds, another little doodle of mine with names for all twelve of them ♡

Cheddar is from @iftheshoef1tz’s fic obpbl, @ablogofsapphicpanic named Willow, and many of you will probably recognize Cinder and Erebus from my own fics :)

[iftheshoef1tz]

God, you’re so much nicer than i would’ve been, Jules lmao

Listen, if you prefer bottom Eris, that’s not a sin and whatever, move on with your life. These aren’t real people, and as such can be viewed in any numerous, interesting ways.

Why do you think (and why do you think the fandom, writ large, thinks) that Azris is more palatable if Eris bottoms? If you think Azris is better with Eris being penetrated because you view Azriel as more masculine, that is 100% an inside thought, though you should ask yourself why you think it’s better or more right. Being penetrated is not an inherently feminine act; being penetrated isn’t an inherently submissive act, either. Viewing penetration as such is YOUR problem, and it’s homophobic to boot.

Not to mention, why do you think Azris writers care what the rest of the fandom think?? the writers of other ships don’t expect or need validation from us as Azris writers. I write for me, myself, and I, and it’s an added bonus that other people read and like it, too. Wanting kudos and hits isn’t bad, but using them as a cudgel to force someone else to write their story the way you want it to be is…well, it’s childish.

Grow up, and, while you’re at it, come off anon and own up to this mess. You went anon because you knew what you were saying was hurtful, and you’re a coward.

Anyway. Not going to even touch the audacity of sliding into an author’s DM to offer unsolicited (and bad!) advice. These are bad thoughts, and you should feel bad, anon!

I rly like JEL but noticed last update you made Eris a top for a minute. up until now he's been a bottom. I think the fandom is more willing to accept Azris as a ship with bottom Eris and Az as top. its probably why your story is so popular and has lots of hits. I wouldn't be surprised if your subscribe numbers and readers go down now. I am going to still read, bc I love your writing style and the story is good, but I just wanted to let you know since its your first fan fic. I rly like JEL, its one of my fave Azris stories. just a heads up, not trying to offend.

Hey anon,

I appreciate your kind words re: my writing style and story. I do hope my story has a *little* more to offer readers than the two or three instances where Eris bottoms. As for that, I've been letting the characters tell me what they want, both with bottom/top roles and power dynamics. So, while Eris was a bottom in those instances, he has also been pretty dominant in many moments, just to show that bottoms aren't always submissive, if that makes sense? I've been exploring what a vers might look like, on several different levels. Yes, in this last chapter, Eris topped, in a pretty brief description of a memory.

That said, I'm only human, so of course I'll be sad to see people click away from my story, especially over Eris having a little top action, but readers can make choices about what stories they read, just like writers are allowed to make choices about the stories we write.

I hope you'll stick around, but for anyone who chooses not to, that's ok too. Just a warning that next week, there will be smut. It's been written for months. I'm not changing it. Also be warned that several chapters later, there will be more smut. And it will be the opposite of next week, lol. That's already been written too...

Yours in Azris,

Jules

[iftheshoef1tz]

Helloooo I just wanted to say I’m a little over halfway through our bodies possessed by light and it’s already made me cry several times and I want to cry again just thinking about being finished with it soon. I already want to read it again I don’t want to be over it

i am both sorry and absolutely not sorry for making you cry. if it makes you feel any better, i cried at the end??

thank you so much for reading, i'm so sorry for not responding earlier!! like i said in a previous ask, i logged into tumblr on my laptop and was like, oh shit haha

[iftheshoef1tz]

Hello dear 💖 I just want to say that your Azris fanfic "OUr bodies, possessed by light" changed ruined (lovingly) my life forever okay 😭😭😭 Like you don't understand how much this fic means to me and how it became my number 1 comfort read whenever I'm down or need smth AMAZING to read.. I'm such a fan of your writing and I appreciate your skills as a writer and how you portray your characters!! Every single detail is very much my taste, and I just die a bit inside whenever I remember AZRIS' journey.. Your fic is literally holy grail status in the fandom for me and I consider it as canon IDC!!!

I loved your fic so much that I got my friends who know nothing about acotar to read all the books JUST so they can read your masterpiece and appreciate it as much as I did (still do) so now we have this little book club in which we scream at each other abt our fav parts and continuously spiral bc of how good it is!! yeah long rant BUT I just want to convey my appreciation and thanks for posting such lovely work which will forever have a special spot in my heart ❤️ I will root for you in your future works even if they're bot Azris 🥰

i am so honored!! it's crazy to me that you got your friends to read the series just for a fic, but like crazy in a good way, haha. the urge to respond only in exclamation points grows with every passing second.

also, i'm so sorry for not replying sooner, i logged into tumblr on my laptop for, like, the first time ever and discovered a WEALTH of asks/messages about obpbl and other things. thank you so much for reaching out, it really means the world to me!!

[iftheshoef1tz]

Tiktok found obpbl and someone bound it into an actual book

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRohMn9E/

yes!!!! this is one of the most beautiful things i've ever seen; the binder is a friend of mine. she also bound me an author's copy (which you can see on her page and eventually i will post to my insta/here) that is just...it's so good. i literally cried when i got it.