#nyeheheheheheee

[whump-queen]

nyeheheheheheee~

[proceeds to shoot you with a hefty dose of tranquilizer, more than enough to knock you out <3]

Oops. my hand slipped. sorryy!

(mistakes were made)

[imnotcameraready]

chivalry is dead (9 [intermission 1])

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY S O N !!!!!! we’re wrapping up this leg of chivalry in celebration !!!!!!!! 

WARNINGS: cursing/swearing, a lot of self-hatred, scheming lmao — i think that's it, but please let me know if i've forgotten any!!

WORDS: 993 (its a shortie uwu)

AO3 link!

MASTERPOST!

@starlightvirgil @forrestwyrm @daflangstlairde @marshmallow-the-panda@askthesnake @k9cat @patromlogil 

enjoy <3 <3 <3  and enjoy the roman screenshots i’m using as line breaks

“I don't want to say I'm too cool....But I'm just too sad for you fools...And I feel like you don't get me...”

“Shut up with that stupid song. How long has it been?”

“Only a day. Long enough for the boss man to feel it.”

“Son of a bitch. What the hell’re we going to do?”

“....”

“Hey! Hey, answer me, Roman, you stupid fucking moron, what the hell should we do?”

“I’m thinking. And I thought we weren’t using names, Roman.”

“Oh, fuck off with that! We need to speed this up. Ignore the Sides, just start hunting the others!”

“You’ll be upset if you don’t see the Sides.”

“SO I would be devastated, but if this all takes too long, I–We can’t hurt Thomas. You don’t want me to.”

“....We can invite everyone here. Stage a big event, bring all the others under one roof. You’re going to need bait to make all the Sides and all the others agree but that’s probably the fastest way to guarantee attendance. Make it a ball or something.”

“I’ve got you.”

“You think they care about me? Dragon. You know better.”

“Fine. Who do you have in mind?”

“Child.”

“Wow.”

“If they’ve met him, then they probably love him. The others would all come. The Sides wouldn’t let any of the others come alone. It’s….it makes sense.”

“You’re ready to off Child? Is having me around affecting your thought process, my Creative Captive, or are you finally ready to continue this game of cat and mouse?”

“Shut up. I just want this over. Thomas needs us in one piece, whatever that piece looks like.”

“It’s going to be a beautiful piece. The other sides are going to adore me.”

“You mispronounced abhor.”

“Fuck off. I’m going to sleep. Don’t keep us up.”

“Of course, your Heinous.”

Thomas drummed his fingers on the computer’s keyboard, humming along to the song he was listening to. He’d been in a Disney mood lately, so he was listening to the second compilation, and had let intuition lead him in his humming and whistling and occasional singing.

The big downside, though, was that he couldn’t actually think of any good ideas. Scratch that — he hadn’t had ANY ideas.

He had gone on two walks, driven around the city, sat in the park and pondered life, and he still had absolutely no idea what he wanted to do for his next anything. In theory, he was planning for the next Sanders Sides episode. Well, in ultra-theory, he was editing the next Sanders Sides episode’s script, but you can’t edit a script that wasn’t written yet! In practice, he’d been scrolling through Twitter for the past few hours. Tumblr for a nondescript number of hours before that, with a break at around 11 for lunch and 6 for dinner. He just stared at the blank page for a few minutes, then flicked over to another tab to procrastinate.

Thomas didn’t even think anything of it until he glanced at the corner of his computer and saw that it was fifteen past two a.m.

That couldn’t be right. Thomas squinted at his computer, then at the window.

It was dark. Not a sunset-soon dark, but a its-the-middle-of-the-night dark.

Goodness gracious, how had he wasted the entire day without noticing. He closed the blank document tab with a sigh.

Then he moved his leg off of the table.

Pain shot through the appendage, stiff and frozen as a board. Thomas groaned, slouching further into the couch while he waited for the pins and needles feeling wear off. Yikes. He hadn’t even noticed.

Perhaps. He could just sleep here.

He squinted. That sure as hell was an option, and it wouldn’t be the first time. Why not?

….No. No, if he did nothing else of merit today, then he should at least put himself to sleep in his own bed. Right?

Thomas looked around his living room, as though expecting validation from someone that this was the correct decision, and found none. Of course he’d find none, though. Wasn’t like there were more people in his apartment.

He closed his laptop as soon as the screen blackened, setting it aside and sitting upright. Slowly, he stretched his arms upward, hissing through his teeth. It was just an off-day — tomorrow would be better. He had actual plans. Sure, it was just dinner with some friends, but still. Plans.

Either way, they weren’t due to start filming the next Sides’ episode until Monday, so he had a few days to get out of this funk, whatever it was.

Oh my God. The Sides. That’s probably why he instinctually looked up, how did he forget that the Sides existed.

You’re just tired, Sanders. C’mon, upsy daisy.

Thomas picked up the laptop and stood, starting for the stairway. His nightly routine was reflex enough that he sped through it. Finally, he set his laptop down on his bedside table and rolled over, elongated phone cord pulling with him.

He couldn’t deny that he felt a little incomplete. Like something was holding back his ability to process things, to think clearly and quickly. It reminded him of those song edits on Tumblr, where the song was played behind a wall. Hopefully it’d pass on its own. If it didn’t, though, then he might have to call up the Sides and ask.

Why didn’t he just do that now?

Thomas frowned at his phone. It may be night, but if he was awake, it was likely some of them were awake too. Wouldn’t that be the most logical thing to do?

Probably? He couldn’t tell.

And he didn’t really want to….

And that settled it, he guessed. He set an alarm for 7 a.m. and put his phone on the table. He resolved, internally, to call on the Sides tomorrow morning and ask if there was anything wrong. Hopefully they’d have an answer.