#nt for near perfect grades to a d/c student. but nobody checked in. I guess I just hid it that well. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

theood · 4 months ago

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One of the other things that stopped me from perusing college was that by the end of my schooling I felt so very stupid and that I was lacking core skills and I'd flunk out of college. Which I couldn't necessarily do in highschool

#elias howls #is this true? a little bit. yeah.#especially considering that during the last 3 years of hs I was online (even before covid) and I truly learned nothing those 3 years and sti #ll was suffering immensely #It DID teach me that if I do ever go back [into education] that I cannot do online courses. I need that typical classroom setting #still thinking abt my gpa all the time. it was abysmal. I think if I had been in my public hs they wouldn't have let me graduated because it #would've been too low #idk. its... frustrating to think about because I had a really clear downfall in relation to school. I went from being an award earning stude #nt for near perfect grades to a d/c student. but nobody checked in. I guess I just hid it that well.#you could tell in my work I think though that I just didn't care anymore. I was so tired by softmore year. none of my essays had any passion #in them. i didn't take any notes. (i was never taught how to properly take them anyway). never studied (wasn't ever taught to study). I was #on autopilot #i do try to be kind to myself and all that but like. I do absolutely constantly feel stupid and that I didn't really earn my degree. but i a #lso know any more years in highschool and I really would've have a breakdown.#still. with certain people I hate talking because as soon as I have to say I didn't go to college I know I'm instantly less to them. I'm jus #t some stupid person. especially if I dare to say I'm currently job searching.

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