#npc: harold minchum

[veritas-radio]

BROADCASTED 9 JULY 1979. HOGSMEADE, SCOTLAND.

Hello, my love bugs. Did you miss me?

Yes, now that I’ve scooted away my annoying little insect co-workers from my nightly spot on the radio, the real fun can begin. That’s right, my darlings. It’s story time with your favorite social butterfly. You see, darlings, I’ve been chasing down a very special story just for you. As I grace the airwaves with my lovely voice, big things are happening. The presses are hot and bothered with my latest piece, but for you, my darlings, I’ll bring you this special snippet. 

As many of you know, I’ve been away for a small time. I’m sure all of you have missed me deeply, and I await your welcome back letters. My ‘disappearance’, as people are calling it, was a necessary evil to bring you this special scoop. I’ve been a busy bee, listeners. So listen up. 

We all know our charmingly uncharming Head of the Wizengamot, Duncan Churchill. This absolute cockroach has been the bane of our legal system for such a long time, I can’t even remember what life was before him. His most recent scandal is, of course, linked to the death of Evelyn Minchum, the horrifically dull and dreadfully dead wife of former Minister Harold Minchum. And yes, I know all of you are thinking-- but Rita, what does it matter? They caught her murderer, so who cares? To those of you little naysayers, I’ve got news for you. Big news. Life-changing, some might even say. 

Helene Nott was arrested on February 27th for the murder of Evelyn Minchum and Harold Minchum, and her trial was over in less than an hour. She apparently immediately confessed and allowed herself to be dragged off to Azkaban with remorse that, let’s face it, someone like her would never have. So what’s this little black widow got to do with anything? Why do we care about something that happened so long ago?

It’s simple as this, ladies and gentlebugs: the Wizengamot is failing. Since the war was officially announced-- something which I called, by the way, even though I was still in school. I know a good story when I sense one-- public opinion of the Ministry has absolutely plummeted. Harold Minchum’s predecessor-- or should I say pre-deceaser? Get it? Because he’s dead.-- Wentworth Peasegood was, as we all know, murdered way back in 1972 when I was just a small caterpillar waiting to become the beautiful news butterfly I am now. I’m not a day over twenty-five, listeners, I can promise you that. Anyway, Peasegood died and who took over? That’s right, one Mister Harold Minchum. Bada bing, bada boom, Duncan Churchill rises up to Head of the Wizengamot. 

Bam! Suddenly public opinion plummets, and results are needed. A Minister just got murdered, after all, and what helps make things better after a Minister is murdered? A one-eighty turn and a fresh set of harsh new laws. Two years into his term-- and conveniently timed, I might add-- the Wizard Protection Act is passed. Aurors can use Unforgivable Curses and guess what? We forgive them! Suddenly criminals are falling like moths hitting a candle and the whole world is temporarily righted because we’ve got a win. 

Now, flutter back to February this year. Ratings are low, people are disheartened, dementors are running around the place like depression ants. Not great, right? So we need a win. And you know who needs it the most? The turd in the spotlight, the supreme centipede himself-- Duncan Churchill. It’s like we’ve all seen, listeners. Bad things happen, a regime changes, and a win is needed. So one unsuccessful assassination of a Minister and two politicians killed later, we get our win. Duncan Churchill gets his victory and gets sympathy for the oh so well timed ‘warning’ left on his doorstep, and all is once again right with the world. Except for one thing, listeners-- it’s not. This whole mess is so clearly orchestrated by the head of our court of justice, how can we trust them to speak for us? How can we believe in them to stand for us when this is what we get in response to our dissatisfaction? You tell me, my little ladybugs. You tell me. 

Now, I’ve said far too much already, and I can see my lovely boss here at the WWN trying to get into the broadcasting room to take my mic away. So looks like you’ll have to read my column in The Daily Prophet for the full, juicy story. Farewell, my darling honeybees. Your queen is back. 

[orderofdeathrp-blog]

Faceclaim: Ken Watanabe || Age: 55 years old || Pronouns: He/his/him

Ministry of Magic

Cisgender Male

Half-blood

Former Ravenclaw

Minister of Magic

Non-Playable Character

Possible triggering content of death, racism, war and xenophobia

It was rare indeed that fate, or maybe it was just sheer blind luck, lined up as they had for Harold Minchum. Although Harold hated to admit that there was anything beyond his control. But, of course, Harold did not have control over the fact that he was born not in Kobe, Japan but in Cardiff, Wales. He had no control of the fact that his mother had been ordered to spend two years observing how magic was taught at Hogwarts, or that his father, on a trip back to Mahoutokoro, would simply vanish into thin air, just like the Muggle leftists. Harold had no control over the fact that he would never hear from his father again. He had no control over his mother remarrying a Welshman a few years later and changing his surname from Akiyama to Minchum despite the fact that he told her that wasn’t what he wanted. He had no control over where he grew up, especially when it was clear that the home he’d only heard of but had never been to became a distant memory to which he would never return.

But once Harold was old enough to understand control, he craved it. At first, he was small and young compared to his peers and he could only control himself. He could force himself to rise with the sun and starch his shirts until they shone white as snow. He could force himself to bite his lip and not snap back when the older students at Hogwarts turned a blind eye to the whispers and mockery he was forced to endure. He could not control the others, not yet, but he could control himself and study hard until they saw him as their equal, or at least so he believed.

Whilst his peers were cruel and distant, his professors and the other adult at Hogwarts were not. They knew that Harold was cleverer than most of his housemates. His spells were perfectly pronounced without any hint of accent, his wand movements crisp, clear and exact. His potions the ideal consistency and color, perfectly brewed every time. The professors knew he was disciplined and obedient, a role model that the other Hogwarts students should look up to, and that made his peers loathe him even more. How dare the foreigner, the kiss-ass, do better than them in classes, win accolade after accolade, get first a prefect’s and then a head boy’s badge pinned to his robes? It simply was not fair, Gryffindors and Slytherins alike whispered. Harold heard their whispers, and they only made him laugh. They were jealous of him, simply because none of them had the foresight to control themselves and work hard.

It was rare enough to get asked to work for Wizengamot as a measly seventh-year, but to start off as the Chief Warlock’s clerk was practically unheard of. Harold was more than pleased to say yes to the offer, and discovered that the job was more than taking notes and running errands. More often than not, the old man could barely remember if he’d had his tea, let alone what wizarding law was, and Harold found himself stepping in to cover for his boss. First, it was just going to hearings with quiet excuses that the Chief Warlock felt ill or had other matters to attend to, but soon enough it was writing decisions and passing rulings on his own, with the Chief warlock’s enchanted quill cheerfully signing off on them.

Harold had to play nice, had to network and socialize with the very people who had mocked up as a child, and it killed him inside. Too proud to bite his lip and forgive previous trespasses, Harold ignored his peers and went to their supervisors, inviting himself to banquets and gatherings. He was charming, smarter than his years, and willing to crush out any competition in the way. Soon enough, Harold learned a soft word, whispered into an ear at a banquet, went further than just competency and hard work. No, to make his mark in the wixen world, he had to position himself, flit from minister to minister, tell them what they wanted to hear and make empty promises that would never come true. And Harold hated it.

But when the Chief Warlock finally stepped down, brain so addled that he could barely form words, Harold lost all of his power. It was a setback, but one that he had expected, and Harold was ready. There were other members of the Wizengamot that Harold had charmed, and they were willing to put in a good word for him, to give him the next seat that opened up. And just like that, at the age of 26, Harold Minchum, the sad little outsider who would never fit into British wixen culture, was on its highest court.

There were the skeptics of course, who thought that Harold was far too young for such a prestigious role, who had doubted that the old Chief Warlock had truly written some of his rulings. Suddenly, it was like Hogwarts all over again, dirty glares and barbed rumors, only this time, Harold did not have professors and headmasters to impress, nor the excuse of youth to defend the tears he had cried silently in his dormitory bed. There was nobody who Harold could beg for attention and for praise, and he hated it. For the past ten years, Harold had worked to throw that past behind him, to remake himself as confident and competent, totally in control of his reputation, and yet it was all for naught.

A foolish man would have used his power to banish those who doubted him, but Harold knew that there were those, even his old headmaster, who would use that as a pretense to strip him of his power. So, instead, Harold bit his lip and waited in silence, careful not to shine out on the Wizengamot. He rarely broke with precedent or brought attention to his rulings. Only the most clever of legal minds would notice how, with each decision he made, he positioned himself as a supporter of law and order, with little patience for those who did not toe the line or slipped up. Second chances were simply not on the table, for nobody had ever given him a second chance as a child or as a young employee. Order had dominated his life, and Harold vowed that order would bring control back to wixen Britain.

Unfortunately, a Muggle-born Minister of Magic would not maintain order, not in the way that Harold needed. He had nothing against Nobby Leach; they were both outsiders, and if anything, Harold was almost sympathetic to the other wizard’s plight. But his very existence meant riots, soft threats of old wixen families moving to Germany or France, and the hard threat of full mutiny. And that simply would not do.

It had been easy enough to twist Leach around his finger, to talk him into expanding the penalties that could land someone in Azkaban, and to increase the number of shadowy guards that kept it safe. It was not a Dementor breeding program, Harold insisted, but rather a simple scheme to keep the public safe. After all, safety and stability would be the only way to keep the blood elitists from throwing Leach out of office, or so he promised. It was, of course, a lie. There was only so much the Wizengamot could do to maintain control through legal crackdowns and increased punishment. Eventually, Leach would be thrown out of power, and Harold would do everything in his power that the ensuing transition would be peaceful. It was just another step in his master plan.

He did not know that there were those who would take any measure necessarily to exterminate any who they did not deem as pure, not at first. But when Leach died of a mysterious illness that not even the best healers at St. Mungo’s could figure out, Harold realized there was something, or someone, beyond the control of the Ministry. His place in the world was in danger, and that could not stand.

Although he despised her as a practical hippie who would only make things worse, Harold backed Eugenia Jenkins as the next Minister of Magic. He paid lip service to her, repeating her dull slogans about unity and respect at Leach’s funeral, and offered her his services in whatever way he could. She needed a loyal deputy, he said, voice calm and crisp, hiding his true intentions, and he would be happy to serve in her shadows, to aid her in whatever way he could. After all, keeping the wixen world unified was the most important. Eugenia was no fool, and Harold was sure she knew that what he really meant was unity through consolidated power and violence when needed. Even if she did not agree, it was mutually beneficial for her, for her safety, for her life, to have a right-hand man who would crack down during the Squib Rights marches and pure-blood riots.

With the death of Eugenia Jenkins, the world of the wix began to mourn. But Harold didn’t waste a moment. He began to move assets and resources around as if they were pieces in a game of chess. His control was now absolute. He would win the war against Voldemort and his Death Eaters. He would bring about peace and control within the British world of magic. And then, he would have the control he so longed for.

Connections

Albus Dumbledore, Barty Crouch Senior

Wand

11” inches, cherry wood, dragon heartstring core

Patronus

Horse

Boggart

His body consumed by flames  

Amortentia

Tobacco ash and cashmere wool

[foxrp]

about canons

hey guys! this post is only slightly off schedule so thank you for your patience, but here’s some basic information as to how our canon list is set up.

first, we only marked the sacred twenty-eight as pureblood on our canon list. this is simply because of the level of pureblood they are, not because no one else can be. with our canon list, after you claim a family you can post the family set up and given information as to their blood status. if you claim a family that has been described as pureblood in canon, but is not included in the sacred 28 and already listed, then you are allowed to change the blood status. this is purely in regards to british and irish canons, which our list is based around, and any international canons can be made as you see fit.

please don’t worry about them not being marked as such on our list if they are canonically, feel free to utilize the canonical information on them. however, again, if it says ‘of unknown blood status’ or does not say something like ‘half-blood or pureblood’ on their wiki, these can only be half-blood, muggleborn, or tainted families due to canon establishing that their numbers are dwindling and there are not many left.

secondly, our canon list is by no means complete. there are so many underutilized canons and families that can be used. if you see one we have not included once you can see our canon list, please let us know or reserve that family and claim it once you’ve been accepted, at which time we will add it to the list. we have many canons listed, but it is not a complete list and should not be regarded as such.

third, we allow characters (outside of major marauders era canons such as sirius black or bellatrix lestrange, which have a 2 year cap) to adjust ages. please feel free to utilize this, so long as it makes sense and does not effect the canon information of other characters. what we mean by this is horace slughorn for example is known to have taught lily evans canonically. he can not be adjusted to be twenty, for instance, because he needs to have been a potions professor and have taught her during her school years. however, a character such as sturgis podmore, whose birthday is listed as born between 1956 and 1957 but has no information that contributes or takes away from any other canon character, can be made at whatever age you choose. this is just to allow more freedom due to how big a mess some of the canonical information is, truthfully. a good rule of thumb for this is if it does not matter at all, feel free to change it. if it does somewhat, try to keep to the two year cap.

fourth, please feel free to utilize lesser known canons. use perpetua fancourt as your character’s relative. as suggested in one of our subplots, utilize silas crump. please do not feel like we are leaving anyone out. there is just a lot of canon to try to add to a list and keep the site load time to a minimum, so add to it as you need to. if you’re unsure in any way, reach out to a member of the staff team and we will help you. it’s what we’re here for.

fifth and finally, lord voldemort, albus dumbledore, and harold minchum are npcs. we do not allow them in play and will not be allowing them in play. that being said, they will more than likely show up via our admin account as the plot moves forward and different events take place. this is just because of the incredible power such characters wield and to keep everything a bit more balanced. we hope you understand.

outside of that information, if you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to reach out to staff or send us an ask. thanks, everyone!

[oodteaser-blog]

Characters

Anyone who is crossed out is either taken or an NPC. We will not be sharing faceclaims but are happy to give you guidelines and help answer if a faceclaim is suitable for a given character.

Death Eaters

Alecto Carrow

Amycus Carrow

Augustus Rookwood

Barty Crouch Jr.

Bellatrix Lestrange

Fenrir Greyback

Lucius Malfoy

Rabastan Lestrange

Regulus Black

Rodolphus Lestrange

Severus Snape

Tom Riddle

Walden Macnair

Ministry

Amelia Bones

Amos Diggory

Arthur Weasley

Barty Crouch Sr.

Bertha Jorkins

Charity Burbage

Dirk Cresswell

Dolores Umbridge

Elphinstone Urquart

Harold Minchum

Horace Slughorn

John Dawlish

Kinglsey Shacklebolt

Mafalda Hopkirk

Otto Bagman

Rita Skeeter

Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank

Neutral

Andromeda Tonks

Bathsheda Babbling

Daisy Hookum

Emma Vanity

Filius Flitwick

Gwenog Jones

Hestia Jones

Irma Pince

Ludo Bagman

Mary Macdonald

Minerva McGonagall

Molly Weasley

Narcissa Malfoy

Pandora Lovegood

Pomona Sprout

Poppy Pomfrey

Rosalind Bungs

Septima Vector

Sybill Trewlaney

Ted Tonks

Tilden Toots

Xenophilius Lovegood

Order of the Phoenix

Alastor Moody

Albus Dumbledore

Alice Longbottom

Benjy Fenwick

Caradoc Dearborn

Dedalus Diggle

Dorcas Meadowes

Edgar Bones

Emmeline Vance

Fabian Prewett

Frank Longbottom

Gideon Prewett

James Potter

Lily Potter

Marlene McKinnon

Peter Pettigrew

Remus Lupin

Rubeus Hagrid

Sirius Black

Sturgis Podmore

[veritas-dailyprophet]

QUIDDITCH SEMIFINALS SPARK VIOLENCE AS CHAMPIONSHIP NEARS

BY ELIZABETH GOODWIN, 8 July 1979. “Current Events” Politics section, pg. 1.

Controversy over the most recent National Quidditch Championship turned to violence on Thursday as several arrests were made over the most recent victory by the Holyhead Harpies over Pride of Portree. Twelve fans were arrested in the Leaky Cauldron for getting into a large brawl over Portree’s defeat, four of which are facing more severe charges than destruction of private property. 

Violence in sports is obviously nothing new, and violence when it comes to Quidditch has reached the point where it is somewhat expected. However, the latest in a string of these incidents has brought something we should all be asking ourselves to the forefront : why? Why do sports cause such violence to come out, and what is it about competitions that get people so worked up?

It is critical that we look at the current political environment before we try to discern why things are the way they are right now. The Ministry of Magic have been alarmingly silent of late, with the biggest announcement from our political epicenter being the Minister’s show of support for her home team, Pride of Portree. Much like this misplaced faith in her team, the Minister’s meaningless gestures have done very little so far to help the magical community. Former Minister Harold Minchum was not an effective leader, or even a good one, perhaps, but something was to be said about all he tried to accomplish during his time as Minister. Minister Bagnold, on the other hand, has done very little for the community other than try her best to distract us from everything going on, both in her office and outside of it. The Ministry’s silence leaves the community to try and base its view on the state of affairs on public opinion. 

Of course, there is no better platform for mob mentality to take effect than in sports. The Quidditch Championships is the perfect place for resentments and competitiveness to come out at its ugliest. The brawls in the Leaky Cauldron are innocent enough, typical sports-fueled aggression, but it becomes vastly more complicated under closer inspection. 

Admittedly yes, the initial victims of the brawl were all fans of the Holyhead Harpies there to celebrate their team’s victory. Portree supporters initiated the fight allegedly because of the outward support of their rivals. But the five initial fans attacked-- the action which started the brawl itself, and one where three of the initial five were arrested along with several others engaged in the fighting-- were not the only Harpies fans out celebrating. So why, then, were they the ones that were targeted before all others? 

Interviewing several friends and family members of the five confirm that the Harpies fans present at the beginning of the fight were, in fact, all muggleborns. Once again, the dichotomy of blood status rears its ugly head, but this time, it is hidden under the guise of violent but ultimately ‘harmless’ sports-driven aggression. It is all too easy to disguise a hate crime in an already harsh environment. So perhaps this is something we should look at during finals season, more than the  statistics and the scores that while important to many now, will hold little meaning in two weeks compared to the lasting effects the season will have on others not because of what team they support, but because of what team their blood statuses put them on. 

[veritas-radio]

BROADCASTED 27 FEBRUARY 1979. HOGSMEADE, SCOTLAND.

Hello, listeners. This is Basil Aldertree, here to bring you the weekly wizarding news. Welcome to our program.

We know many of you have had a lot of questions today that have been answered in bits and pieces. Some news has been partial, some has been misleading, and for others it’s been one pinprick in the ultimate scheme of things. Here’s what we know right now about the situation unfolding. 

According to early investigations, the body of former Minister’s wife Evelyn Minchum was discovered outside of the home of Duncan Churchill in the early hours of the morning. DMLE employees were called quickly to the scene as soon as the body was found, and a quick search of the grounds led to the discovery and capture of Helene Nott, who is believed to have been responsible for starting the riot on Boxing Day two months ago. Nott was taken into custody, and laid out a full confession. Head of Ministry Public Relations, Clementina Turnhall, gave the following statement at one this afternoon--

“Early this morning, a witch was taken into custody by the DMLE for questioning about possible ties to the death of Evelyn Minchum and her husband, Harold Minchum. We cannot release specific details of the case at this time, but a confession has been made, and the charges will be brought against this individual swiftly and in accordance with the law.”

This incredibly vague statement was given more focus and explanation at four this afternoon, with another statement by Head of the DMLE, Coriolanus Hodge. Listen in. 

“At this time, we’re able to announce that Helene Nott has confessed to the murder of Evelyn Minchum earlier this morning, and for the use of the Imperius Curse on Mrs. Minchum. We believe that Mrs. Nott coerced Mrs. Minchum into murdering her husband through the use of an Unforgivable Curse. Right now, we have no other details to give you, except that Mrs. Nott has been detained and will be facing the full force of our nation’s justice. There is no innocence in this case, and there is no doubt in what the justice of our courts will bring for Mrs. Nott.”

As of barely an hour ago, Mrs. Nott was reportedly convicted for the murder of Evelyn Minchum, the use of an Unforgivable Curse, and inciting violence during the Boxing Day riot. She has been transferred to Azkaban prison, where she will most likely remain. This is one of the fastest cases to go from crime to conviction to date, and it seems it is currently being regarded as a victory in general. Though whether it is or not is up to you.

Helene Nott was on record for being incredibly critical of the actions of the Wizengamot, particularly of their behavior towards her husband, Troilus Nott, who was arrested in December for endangering the public-- charges which, as far as we are currently aware, have yet to be addressed-- and has been in Azkaban ever since. Mrs. Nott has spoken out against the Wizengamot and its inability to serve justice. Head of the Wizengamot Duncan Churchill seems to have been a target of her resentment, as seen this morning with Nott’s arrest in front of Churchill’s house. Churchill is on the record for saying “we’re past the point of punishment fitting the crime.” He’s been an incredibly harsh head of the Wizengamot since his appointment in 1965, and it could be argued that his methods contributed to what happened today. I’m sure Mr. Churchill will be doing just that these next few days. 

I think this is a good time to reflect upon the words of a former Minister-- Minister Albert Goodwin. While his term ended poorly and his actions caused more disruption in the community through his unwillingness to condemn the Death Eaters and their actions, there’s something in his life and career that I think we should all reflect on tonight. Listen in.

“We must remember in a time like this that we are all responsible for the climate of our community. We all have places we can improve. We should take this time to reflect on ourselves.”

Just as we were then, we are responsible for things that have happened not just today, but for the past decade. A lack of order brings with it complications and struggle that make it hard for the justice system to work. Today, the justice system failed. But the arrest and conviction of Helene Nott for her actions gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance in the near future for it to succeed. 

So until next time, listeners, this is Basil Aldertree. Good night.

[veritas-radio]

BROADCASTED 24 OCTOBER 1978. HOGSMEADE, SCOTLAND.

Hello, listeners. This is Basil Aldertree, here to bring you the weekly wizarding news. Welcome to our program. 

Yesterday’s dedication of the Diagon Alley War Memorial ended with the arrest of Evelyn Minchum for the attempted murder of Minister Millicent Bagnold. Minchum, 51, was wife of former Minister for Magic Harold Minchum, who was murdered September first this year. While it’s reported that she claimed responsibility for the murder of her husband, Minchum has officially been charged with the attempted murder of Minister Bagnold only. Witnesses say that Minchum drew her wand on Minister Bagnold, but was unable to launch an attack before Junior Auror Calissa Duke tackled her to the ground. Duke, 21, received minor injuries, and was one of the two Aurors to be injured in Minchum’s arrest. It was announced this morning that Duke is to be honored by an award of valor from the Minister herself. 

Bagnold’s ratings have, surprisingly, dropped since yesterday. In a poll taken this morning, three quarters of the community are glad that Bagnold is okay, but only half of them think she should remain in office. We interviewed Alyssa Monroe, one of the shopkeepers in Diagon Alley, about why, listen in--

“I’m glad she wasn’t hurt or anything, I mean she’s the Minister. And after what happened to Minister Minchum, no one wants to lose another Minister like that. But the jokes she made after they arrested Mrs. Minchum.... I know it was probably just nerves, but it made a lot of people really uncomfortable.”

Can’t say I disagree with that one. 

The Ministry released an official report on the events of yesterday early this morning. Coriolanus Hodge, Head of the DMLE, spoke personally on the matter. Hodge is, as many of us know, not a man of many words. His statement lasted less than three minutes, and included a brief and altogether vague Q&A session after. Listen in--

“Evelyn Minchum has been officially charged with attempted murder of Minister Millicent Bagnold. We are looking into her claims about the death of her husband. At this time, she has not been charged with Minister Minchum’s murder. Mrs. Minchum’s actions were unlike her, and we’re looking into the possibility that she was under the Imperius curse. At this time, however, we have no further information to give.”

      “Mr. Hodge, do you think Death Eaters are behind Evelyn Minchum’s actions?”

“We don’t know.”

                “Was Minister Minchum murdered?”

“That’s still under investigation.”

       “You said he died because of medical reasons-- were you lying to the public?”

“I can’t say.”

                               “Can you give us anymore information?”

“At this time, no. Thank you.”

Not exactly enlightening. We’ll keep you up to date on the developments of this case as they come. 

In the meantime, Diagon Alley has been closed on the north end once again, as the memorial is examined for any evidence of dark magic or suspicion. No time was given officially for how long it would be closed. Our reporters attempted to get an interview with the Auror department, but Head Auror Alastor Moody avoided answering any questions. It seems not even an attempt on the Minister’s life is enough to get him to break his strict “no interview” policy. 

Tonight’s radio round table discussion will have witnesses from last night’s attack telling stories of their experiences. Tune in at 8pm for more. Until then, I’m Basil Aldertree, wishing all of you a good day and good luck. Until next time, listeners. 

[veritas-radio]

rita, what are your thoughts on minister bagnold?

She’s better looking than Minchum, but not like, super pretty. She’s average. Like on a scale of Glenda to me, she’s a John Dawlish.

[veritas-radio]

Why would we keep the memorial up? Clearly it's a sign of her guilt! She probably murdered more than her husband!

Right now, the memorial is considered evidence, so it’s not going anywhere. But I think we should try to remember that the memorial might’ve been designed by Mrs. Minchum, but it’s not about her. 

[veritas-radio]

BROADCASTED 7 NOVEMBER 1978. HOGSMEADE, SCOTLAND.

Hello, listeners. This is Basil Aldertree, here to bring you the weekly wizarding news. Welcome to our program.

Today we have a special guest on our show. We’d like to welcome Minister for Magic Millicent Bagnold onto our program. Minister, thank you for being here with us. 

Glad to be here, Basil. 

Now Minister, you’re coming off a recent assassination attempt. Evelyn Minchum, your predecessor’s wife, attempted to kill you at the dedication of the Diagon Alley war memorial. How are you feeling? 

I think better than most people anticipated. 

That must’ve been a really scary moment for you.

Honestly, it was over before I’d really realized it had started. By the time it sank in what had happened, she was on the ground and the Aurors were taking her away. 

A lot of people have been very critical of your reaction to this attempt on your life, saying your jokes at the dedication were inappropriate. Do you have anything to say in response to that?

Wasn’t fan of the critiques, if I was honest. It’d be one thing to give me constructive feedback on my material, but slamming even trying to make jokes seems a bit harsh. Would it have been better if I’d cried? I was fine. And it was hardly an assassination attempt, Basil, let’s be honest. She barely pointed her wand at me before the Aurors took her down. 

So you don’t think it was an assassination attempt. 

I think it was an attempt at an assassination attempt. Evelyn Minchum is harmless. 

But she did make an attempt on your life. Or attempt to, at least, in your words. 

And it won’t be the last time someone does. Maybe my jokes weren’t all that funny, sure, and maybe they were in poor taste, but what am I supposed to have done? I was fine. If I’m not joking around, that’s how people will know I’m not fine. I think the fact that the headline on the Daily Prophet the next day was “Minister Mocks Former Minister’s Wife for Botched Assassination” says something about the priorities of people these days. If the DP need help coming up with headlines, I’ve got plenty of ideas. 

Do you disagree with Evelyn Minchum’s arrest, then? You don’t seem to think she’s all that guilty. 

I think I trust the Wizengamot to make that call. I know Evelyn, and I find it hard to believe she’d ever try to hurt me. Well, before I told the jokes. After, sure, but before, eh. That’s still up for debate. But it’s not my call to make. 

You seem to have a very laid back approach to being Minister, if I can say that. 

You seem capable of using words, Basil, yes. 

Do you think that’s something the community is looking for in a leader?

Well I’m still in office, aren’t I? I respected Minister Minchum’s work in the job, but I think maybe he took things too seriously. 

We’re in the middle of a war, I’m not sure how else he should’ve taken things. 

See, that’s the thing. Yeah, we’re in the middle of a war. We’ve got our heads so far up the-- am I allowed to swear on here?

We’d prefer it if you didn’t. 

Right, well then the butt of this whole thing, none of us can actually see what things were like before the war. Won’t say my age but I’m old enough to remember what things were like before we were “officially” at war. And you know? It wasn’t amazing, but it was a better time than this. We’ve been fighting the war and fighting the war and fighting the war, with the goal that one day, it’ll be over. It’s a bit of a dumb mindset to have, isn’t it?

I’m not sure I follow you. 

Alright, Basil, say you’re baking a cake. What’s the goal of baking the cake? Having it baked? It’s eating it. No one makes a cake without the intention of eating it. Baking is fighting, the cake is peace. What happens after the war is over is actually getting to eat the cake. If I can’t see beyond the oven and the cookbook, or if how stressful baking is for me is the only thing I can focus on, what’s the point? We gotta’ focus on eating the cake one day, Basil. And we’re not gonna’ do that or be able to do that if we can’t even picture what life after the war is gonna’ look like. We all know what cake tastes like, and I think a majority of us really enjoy cake. We’d like to eat it. But we’re still baking. I think Minister for Magic is a position that means to set an example for the rest of the community. And I think being war-centric isn’t doing anyone any favors. The war is important, but so is education. So is progress. So is art, and culture. They’re the frosting that makes the cake beautiful. I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure we get to eat our cake. 

Do you think the installment of more dementors around wizarding centers is really helping us get closer to that point?

I knew you were gonna’ ask me about that, I heard your psycho rant. Listen, Basil, I’m not especially fond of dementors. But they are helpful. They would be even more helpful if the community would stick to the Ministry curfew we’ve got in place. We can’t force anyone to do anything, but we’ve put out various suggestions for a reason. The dementors are really the enforcers of things like curfew and things like that. If you stick to the rules too, then there shouldn’t be any problems. 

Alright, Minister, we’re just about out of time, so I’ll leave you with one more question-- is there anything you think the community can do to get us closer to.... eating our cake. 

Nice, nice. Well, I think people need to take a breath and do something fun.

Something fun?

Yeah. My dad and I used to go to the park every day and wander about, feed the birds. Boring, normal stuff. I still do that. It reminds me that there’s still normalcy in the world. No matter how bad things are or how difficult it is, those birds still show up every day. Find something normal and hang onto it. Do it. Embrace it. We gotta’ remember how to have fun, Basil, and if there’s anything I hope I can do in my term as Minister, I hope it’s to remind the community how to have fun again. 

Wise words I think we can all learn something from. Minister, thank you so much for coming on our program, it’s been a pleasure talking to you. 

It was cool being here. I never really realized how small this building is, your offices are so tiny. 

Thank you, Minister. Alright, that’s all we’ve got time for tonight. Tune in next for the musical magic of Glenda Chittock on Witching Hour, who’ll be talking to Celestina Warbeck--

Oh I love her!

Thank you, Minister. Tune in next for Witching Hour. Until next time, I’m Basil Aldertree--

And I’m Millicent Bagnold.

Thank you, Minister. Until next time, listeners. 

[veritas-radio]

do you think minchum was murdered or do you believe what the ministry said about him?

Oh peaches, he was absolutely murdered. Use your little peach brain.