#now to tackle laundry then hopefully *fingers crossed* some writing

[delirious-donna]

Happy Saturday everyone! I hope it’s a good one and as productive as you wish it to be! 🌈

[artificialqueens]

Here I Go Again! (Group Fic) - Chapter Two - pureCAMP

A/N - so this was supposed to appear much earlier but disappeared from the queue but shes back!! a late happy birthday to the lovely lovely lyd at citrusflowers / pianowired <3

this will be submitted every saturday fyi, watch this space and please enjoy!

Mamma Mia - Chiquita - Dancing Queen - Super Trouper

Sharon groaned and cursed as she arched her back, trying to find the last dregs of life and energy in her body so that she could continue working. Every single day was nothing but work, but what with Trixie’s wedding approaching, she was busier than ever. Just that morning, she’d had to tell Karl at the bar that they really couldn’t afford to be giving out gratuitous drinks to every pretty girl that passed by, then she’d remade all the beds in the hotel, swept and cleaned all of the bathrooms, hung up the laundry to dry, and fixed a quick breakfast for Trixie all before ten, when Jinkx and Raja were due to arrive.

Although she was proud of her daughter for falling in love with a good, trustworthy man, she would be glad to rest when the whole wedding business was over - even though everyone and their brother on the island knew that really, she wouldn’t be resting at all.

Twenty years, and Sharon hadn’t rested a day.

“Yoohoo! Miss Workaholic! Get in here already, Jinkx and I have already opened the white wine!” Raja’s face appeared through the blue window shutters in the building Sharon stood in front of. At the sight of her, Sharon grinned.

“Without me? God, you two are as rotted as ever. Slow down!”

There were plenty of hours in the day, right? Sharon could afford to spend a couple of them drinking with old friends. She deserved it, after all. It was a special occasion. After giving her specific orders to the lads who were just hanging over the bar - and a death stare to ensure said orders were completed - she made her way up the stairs and into the room her friends had booked.

“There she is!” Jinkx cheered, wobbling her glass precariously. “You old fart, you.”

Sharon snatched the wine from the table, trying to ignore how the table wobbled - the legs needed sanding, no doubt - and drank straight from the bottle. “Relief!”

“You’re working far too hard,” Raja shook her head disapprovingly. “You need a break.”

Sharon shrugged. “This is a break!” She defended herself, gesturing to the bottle and flopping onto the bed where her two friends were sat.

Jinkx blew a loud raspberry. “As if! This isn’t a break, this is a normal day! Come on, Raj, you know she doesn’t rest these days.”

“Thank you.” Sharon clinked her bottle against Jinkx’s glass, the pair bursting into giggles when Raja rolled her eyes.

“I mean it, bitch. Go out, have fun! Get laid!”

At that, Sharon doubled over, spilling wine on both Jinkx and herself. “Oh, please! I am not that girl anymore. Jinkxy and I have the right idea, men are too much work. I’m glad I ended that whole slutty phase of my life.”

Although it wasn’t like I had a choice, Sharon wanted to tack onto the end. It was unnecessary; Raja and Jinkx already knew. They were her best friends, her ride-or-die girls, the ones who stuck by her and listened to her lamenting and crying. It didn’t matter then or now what they said, Sharon had always blamed herself. She’d slept around and she’d paid the price, and it wasn’t all bad. Trixie was a blessing, she reminded herself.

“Every lady still needs a bit of va-va-voom, darling.” Raja insisted. “I’ll find you a man myself if I have to. Now, Miss Mother-of-the-Bride, it’s time for you to loosen up and DRINK!”

Teaming up, Jinkx pushed Sharon down and restrained her whilst Raja took control of the wine bottle. After a few seconds, they released her, all three howling with laughter.

“Oh, god…” Sharon laughed, before shooting bolt upright. “Why did I even come in here? I’m so busy! There’s so much I need to do, the wedding is tomor-”

Jinkx held a finger against her lips. “You have all day!”

“No, I don’t!” Sharon rose to her feet, regret bubbling in her chest. “Girl time later - that’s a promise. After all, we have a hen party to go to! Just let me finish up…”

She was gone before they could pull her back, sweeping the steps on her way down. It was amazing to see her girls again, but she was overly conscious that the hotel needed cleaning at least every other day, what with it being so out in the open. If she didn’t finish cleaning today, it would be filthy by tomorrow and by then it would be too late, as she’d have to be preparing the wedding and decorations and getting Trixie ready and ensuring everything was perfect-

Breathe, she told herself. It was just a little extra work, nothing she couldn’t handle.

A few of the roofs needed repairing, she knew that. That was a good place to start.

As she made her way around, Sharon couldn’t help feeling proud. Around her, the air smelt fresh and aromatic, like honeysuckle and sea salt and baked bread. The walls were white - clean white. The courtyard was swept and clear, decorated with plants and tables, and the view was just breathtaking.

Yes, she had a crippling mortgage and almost no money, but sometimes, rarely, she couldn’t bring herself to care. She’d managed a hotel and raised a beautiful daughter alone. A wedding was something she could easily tackle. She’d done it all without any help.

“Karl, Michael, Danny, will you boys help me with the roof repairs? Take a block each, I’ll do the shed and back block.” Sharon rolled her eyes when they groaned. “You’re young, don’t complain. Hop to it!”

It felt good to be working. It always had. Taking her mind off of the list of stresses she had, to focus on getting rid of one of the stresses, had always helped. Slowly burning her way through the list of deeds that needed to be done was the only thing that would settle her mind. It had been this way for twenty years, since the resort had been built, and it wasn’t about to change anytime soon.

“Fucking hell.” Sharon murmured, climbing to her feet on top of the flat roof at the back of the hotel. Parts of the wooden planks were weathered - nothing she couldn’t cover with some handy trash bags and tape, but the edges of the hatch leading into the room below definitely needed some strong sealant. She silently prayed that none of the wooden planks were weakened. This was going to do her back in for sure, but falling through would be even worse.

She got to work quickly. With any luck, the repairs wouldn’t take long, and then all she’d have to do was take down the laundry, fold it, tell the kitchens what they needed to be preparing for tomorrow’s wedding dinner, and then palm off the rest of the small tasks to some of the young men. Hopefully, she’d have time to relax and have fun at the hen party.

Leaning over, she opened the hatch slightly and began to press down the sealant, stopping when she heard voices.

Now, Sharon knew she wasn’t crazy. They weren’t in her head. There were, however, several things she knew.

One: Nobody was booked into the room at the back of the hotel. Not a soul.

Two: One of those voices sounded familiar…

Three: No, two of them did…

Four: No… all three…

When it happened, it was like a cruel trick of fate. The shock of hearing those voices again hardly had time to register before the planks just nearby the hatch crumbled, sending Sharon falling backwards through the roof and into the room below. She let out a yelp and braced herself for a horrific landing, swearing loudly as she did so.

“My god.” Willam.

“Well, that was unexpected.” Jaremi.

“Sharon Needles, as I live and breathe.” Justin.

This had to be a nightmare.

The first face she laid eyes on was Willam’s. He was virtually unchanged - Sharon suspected surgery - his blonde hair still falling into his eyes the way it used to. Just like before, his voice was musical. He grinned as though something he’d seen was utterly hilarious.

Then she noticed Jaremi. His skin was still tanned from adventures abroad. His eyes were still warm and brown, crinkled a little with age. He was less petite than he had been all those summers ago, like he’d decided to grow and become a man in that time. Perhaps he had.

Justin was the one she didn’t want to look at, but did anyway. In comparison to Sharon, he’d aged like a fine wine. He was smiling, but gently - not obnoxiously like Willam. His hair was still dark, but Sharon could see the salt-and-pepper greys amongst the curls. His stupidly sparkling angel eyes were as beautiful as she remembered. He was as handsome as ever.

“That was quite the entrance.” Justin smiled.

With a jolt, Sharon realized the unfortunate position in which she’d fallen - flat on her back, her legs spread. Cheeks flaming, she scrambled to her feet, glaring angrily between all three faces.

“I’m gonna need to know what the fuck you’re all doing here, how you know each other, and who said you could stay in this room. Now.” She growled.

Willam blanched. “We don’t know each other. We just, uh…”

“Happened to be on the same boat.” Jaremi cut in. “For different reasons. I’m… Well, you know me. Travel writing. I’m writing about little lost Greek islands.”

Sharon crossed her arms. “And you?”

“Me…” Willam nodded. “Came here on holiday. Just a fun little vacation.”

“Alone, huh.” Sharon scoffed. “What say you, Justin?”

Justin’s gaze softened. “Revisiting the past.”

“You won’t find anything of the past here.” Sharon retorted. “You three need to leave, right now. You can’t stay here. I’m far too busy, the hotel is booked - a local girl is getting married and I need this space for her friends and family. Off you go, clear off.”

In all honesty, Sharon was panicking internally, though she refused to show it. What kind of devilishly bad luck was this? Three faces she’d spent twenty years forgetting about, not sparing a kind thought in their direction for two decades, turning up out of the blue? This wasn’t what she needed. Not at all.

“Hell, I’ll pay for a trip back to the mainland for you all. You don’t need to be here.”

Justin held up his hand to stop her distress, which Sharon didn’t take kindly to. “Now, listen here-”

“Sharon.” He spoke calmly. “It’s okay. We checked with one of your staff, this room is free. We’re happy to share if it takes some of the worry off you. Don’t stress about us.”

Sharon’s chest heaved up and down. “Don’t stress…” She murmured, in a low, angry tone. “You have a lot of nerve turning up here. A lot of fucking nerve.”

—

It took all of three seconds for Raja and Jinkx to figure out that Sharon was angry, and a bit distressed. The door slammed open, shocking them both half to death. Without hesitation, Sharon picked up the wine bottle from where she’d left it, downed it for a concerning amount of time, and then smashed it against the floor.

She wanted to scream. Anger, regret and repressed sadness broke out of her at once, wrestling in the pit of her stomach and constricting her chest. Conflicted emotions raged back and forth in her head, creating a warzone that she was stuck in the middle of. Not a word - not one single word - out of either of them for twenty years, and then they turn up out of nowhere? Sharon was going to kill them. She held back the urge to yell and tear her hair out, instead crumpling to the floor next to the smashed glass.

“Sharon!”

At once, the two girls surged forwards, concern and pity evident in their eyes. With some difficulty, they went to their knees, Jinkx cradling Sharon’s head to her chest as Raja rubbed her back.

“Sweetheart, tell me what’s wrong.” She murmured. Sharon sniffed and buried her face, hiding herself.

Raja sighed. “Come on, it’s okay. I hate to see you like this.”

“‘M fine.”

“There’s no way you can deny it.” Jinkx said softly. “We can see you’re upset. You can cry on my shoulder, it’s okay.”

A surge of bitterness swelled up inside Sharon. It wasn’t fair that the only people she could rely on, for her entire life, were her friends. Twenty years ago, she’d sobbed into her friend’s pillows over the one that got away, over the mother disowning her, over the baby growing in her tummy. It was Raja and Jinkx alone that held her up when life brought her down. Once again, the men she vowed to forget were pulling her down, and her friends were trying to lift her back up.

“Trixie’s fucking dad is here. I swear, I could kill-” She blurted, her voice thick with tears.

Raja’s eyes widened dramatically. “You mean Justin? What is he doing here on the island?! He doesn’t even know about Trix!”

Sharon nodded, then shook her head immediately after. “Do- Do you remember Jaremi, the traveller?”

Both women nodded.

“I was with him, too. And… And Willam, the musician.”

Jinkx frowned. “Hey, that’s nothing to be ashamed of! I’d be impressed, you bagged three lookers! But what’s the issue?”

“It’s not only Justin!” Sharon cried out. “Fuck. Justin, Jaremi, Willam, they’re all here! All of - All of Trixie’s dads!”

She felt so stupid. Sure, she’d been young! But Jinkx and Raja were young too, and they all had wild summers - but only Sharon was foolish, only Sharon was the dumb slut, only Sharon was the reckless whore who went and got herself pregnant without even knowing the father of her baby.

“Th-They’re all here, and I don’t know why, but they won’t leave and they’re going to ruin Trixie’s wedding, I just know it!”

She began to rake her hands violently through her hair, stopping only when Raja pulled them away. “You’re gonna be okay, baby. We’re your best friends, you can rely on us.”

“Besides,” Jinkx added, kissing Sharon’s temple and dabbing at her tears. “Tonight is the hen party. No men allowed! Just all of us girls, no stupid men to think about. You get to dance and drink and have a good time, sans les hommes. Sound good?”

Through her tears, Sharon attempted a smile. “It’s not like I can get too drunk, I have a w-wedding to organise.”

“Pish and posh.” Jinkx told her. “You can get absolutely plastered if you so desire. Trixie will want you to relax!”

Raja nodded enthusiastically. “Besides, there’s no way the three of us will be stupid enough to squeeze into our old costumes if we’re not blind drunk.”

Sharon laughed. “I already h-had them adjusted. Lord knows we’re not eighteen anymore.”

“Size eighteen, maybe!” Jinkx joked.

“Speak for yourself!” Raja cut in.

“See?” Jinkx continued. “It’s gonna be okay. It’ll be a good night. Besides, if you’re worried about your man problem, they’re never gonna find out. There’s no way they’ll know Trixie is yours and… well, theirs.”

Raja pulled a face. “Well, Trixie does look just like you. But that being said, men are idiots. They’ll probably only realize when they’re back on the boat away from this island, never to be your problem again.”

“I love you two.” Sharon stated, leaning into her best friends’ embrace. “Still, I suppose this is partly my fault. Maybe if I hadn’t have been such a careless little slut-”

Both Raja and Jinkx rolled their eyes, scarily in sync.

“Oh please! Who are you, your mother? None of the Catholic guilt, now. As of tonight, we’re The Supermodels. We’re stars.” Raja declared.

Against her better judgement, Sharon was starting to feel a little better. “Do you really need reminding of why The Supermodels had to end?”

Despite her tone, the memory didn’t bother her all that much. At the time, it had been devastating. Skin-tight costumes, that closer resembled an actual layer of skin on their bodies than fabric, were a great idea when they were young and perky, as Jinkx would say. They were less of a great idea when an inconspicuous bump was thrown into the mix.

“End? Please. It was a temporary hiatus!” Jinkx harrumphed. “There was a slight setback of nine months, a steady break of twenty years, and now we’re back.”

All three burst into laughter. Even though the situation still played on the back of Sharon’s mind, her heart felt lighter. As long as her old flames didn’t bother her, she’d be able to focus on the wedding and just have a good time. She could enjoy the one good thing that had come out of that summer, watch her beautiful girl get married, and then send her three problems back to the mainland. It would all be okay.

“I really hope Trixie doesn’t run into those three until after the wedding, at least.” Sharon said suddenly, speaking her thoughts the moment they entered her head. “She looks so much like me. They’ll know she’s my daughter, we can’t pretend otherwise.”

Raja shook her head, pulling Sharon to her feet and nudging Jinkx to get up too. “None of that talk, please! We have a show to prepare for!”

She strutted over towards the old wardrobe in the corner of the room, swaying her hips as she went. Within seconds, she’d located the costumes and pulled them out, brandishing the sequined lycra proudly.

“We’re going back in time, baby.”

—

When Sharon emerged in front of the mirror a few hours later, perfectly timed with Jinkx and Raja, she felt the alcohol in her bloodstream send her into a fit of laughter.

“Am I drunk or do we look great?” She giggled, almost stumbling into Jinkx. The shorter girl tried and failed to steady her.

“Yes.” Raja replied shortly. “I know you got these adjusted, but tell me I’m not the only one who felt a real sense of achievement in being able to get this thing on.”

The three of them creased with laughter again, nodding.

Gaping sleeves, flared and ruffled legs, bright colours with sequins and diamantes… It was as if they’d stepped back into the 70s. Sharon felt incredibly lucky that Trixie enjoyed older fashion and music, or else her daughter would be incredibly embarrassed when she saw her. Still, she thought to herself, it wasn’t just the alcohol. She looked and felt a little bit like a kid again.

“One hell of a show, don’t you think?” Sharon’s voice was breathless.

The man before her grinned. “One hell of a costume. You look like a star.”

She grinned. “Justin, you flatter me. You think white’s my colour?”

Justin threw back his head and laughed. “As if. White is for angels, and you’re certainly not one of those. I could see you in red, like the devil… but white is nice in this instance.”

“White for purity,” Sharon mocked. “Like a white wedding! God, could you imagine? Me in some stupid huge gown with a veil to show my virginal goodness?”

At that, both of them snorted. The night was dark, lit up by strings of lights across the open bar. It felt like the kind of night where anything was possibly. Where love and life and light intermingled freely, barred by nothing. A warm summer breeze blew Sharon’s hair away from her face.

“Here comes the bride, all dressed in whiteee…” Justin sang, twirling Sharon around before pulling her into his chest. “You’re no bride, are you?”

She shook her head, kissing under his jaw. “Never. I think you’re crazy if you think marriage is cool. I think I’d get bored.”

Justin shifted, so both his arms were wrapped around Sharon from behind. She relaxed into him.

“I’m hurt, Needles. I suppose you’re too much of a rockstar.” He jabbed her in the side, and she squealed.

“If you don’t give me a reason to get bored and leave, then I won’t.” She told him.

Justin smiled. “If you keep singing in outfits like this, I’ll never leave. There’s no way I could get bored of this.”

“Sharon? Back to planet Earth, please.”

Sharon shoved her friends, shaking her head to clear her mind of the sudden flashback. She hadn’t thought about that for years, and wasn’t about to start now.

“Sorry. Think I’m going a bit delirious with stress.”

Jinkx snorted. “Think? I could’ve confirmed that for you years ago. Are we ready?”

“As we’ll ever be.” Raja finished.

As they made their way to the courtyard, Sharon felt a smile tugging at her lips. The boys had done their job well, knowing better than to defy her. A makeshift stage had been pulled against one of the empty archways, the lighting rigged up above it and speakers with wires trailing out of the courtyard into the street. The arch’s entrance was shrouded in glittery fabric, no doubt leftover from one of the seamstresses on the island. Strings of lights were hung around, and way up in the night sky, the stars glittered like tiny jewels. The girls were already dancing, Trixie in the centre of them all. Watching from behind the curtain, Sharon felt undeniably proud.

“Look at my girl.” She murmured, keeping herself out of sight so the surprise wasn’t ruined. “She’s so grown up now.”

Jinkx smiled softly. “Sometimes I still think she’s a little dot dancing around your kitchen and begging you to put Dolly on the stereo again.”

“She still does that, sometimes.” Sharon laughed weakly. “Though she’s not quite a dot anymore.”

Raja pulled Sharon into a hug. “I don’t know how you did it, but you raised a beautiful young woman and you should be very proud.”

“I couldn’t be more proud of her.”

“And yourself.” Raja admonished gently. “You deserve the credit. Trix didn’t have a dad, but she didn’t need one. She had a mom to do it all, ten times better than anyone else could do.”

Jinkx grinned, tugging Sharon out of Raja’s arms. “She’s going to absolutely love seeing her old mom out here on stage. I bet she’s never seen you like this.”

Appearing seemingly out of nowhere, Karl popped up next to Raja and winked.

“Hello gorgeous… Sharon, want me to start the music? The lads are just prepping for the big dive before we get to the stag, so I can do it now.”

Sharon swatted him away from Raja and nodded. Karl, as typically annoying and boyish as he was, worked hard when he wanted to. Though he often took a lot of jabbing and scolding, he was a good lad.

“Please. And Karl-” The young man turned, stopping his fiddling with the speaker. “-Stop your flirting with Raj. This is a girl’s night, and she’s old enough to be your mother.”

Regardless, Karl left with a wink and a kiss blown in Raja’s direction. As promised, the music came to a stop not long after he’d fiddled with it, and confused noises began to erupt from the sea of women.

The spotlight turned on, highlighting three spots in the centre of the stage. Sharon, Raja and Jinkx readied themselves behind the curtain.

“For one night!” Raja called out.

“And one night only!” Sharon added.

“Because that’s all we’ve got the breath for!” Jinkx butted in.

“We present to you - The Supermodels!”

The curtain drew back, and the three took their place in the spotlights. In the audience, a few girls began to shriek and cheer in excitement. Everyone who had ever been to the island knew a little something about The Supermodels, and the trio that used to sing in the bar before there was a hotel, but they hadn’t sung together as a group for twenty years. Trixie’s eyes shone as she made eye-contact with Sharon, her face splitting into a radiant smile. She knew they were doing it just for her.

The music started.

It was a rush, it really was. Spotlights, loud music, costumes, cheering. Around them, the hen party had gathered as close to the stage as they could get. Some were dancing, some were watching in awe, some - like Naomi and Kim - were cheering wildly, unable to get over the shock. Trixie was singing along.

This was what it was about. Not men - they were out of sight, out of mind as far as Sharon was concerned. It was about singing, enjoying the moment, and making her daughter’s night.

Part of her was convinced they’d all forgotten their old moves, and yet they hadn’t. Almost instinctively, they moved the way they used to, circling round one another, dancing like they were still the carefree eighteen-year-olds they’d once been. It was going to be a show to remember, Sharon knew it.

Trixie got up to dance, dragging Naomi and Kim with her. She was graceful and beautiful, and Sharon continued to put her all into performing, just for her. It was no wonder that she was getting married so young. Though it was something Sharon would never do, her daughter was a rare jewel in a world of stones. Brian had clearly seen that and taken the chance to treat her right before anyone else could.

“Congratulations, Trixie!” Jinkx yelled as the song finished. The crowd cheered.

Her eyes gleaming, Sharon watched as Trixie ran forwards to the stage. She took Sharon’s hands in her own and looked up pleadingly.

“Mom! Dance with me?”

Anytime Trixie wanted something, Sharon caved. Naturally, if it cost money she often had to refuse and gently explain, but if it cost time, or sleep, or anything else of the rare, precious nature, Sharon couldn’t say no. A dance cost nothing. It was Trixie’s last night of being Sharon’s little girl, and she needed to appreciate it.

[snelbz]

can u write a rowan x aelin fic that will break my heart? im in the mood to cry

So this originally was supposed to be a quick little oneshot, but then it turned into a 6,300 word bombshell. Shout out to @tacmc  for being my ever faithful beta/bff, and helping out with this one before it was posted, for helping me with when I didn’t think I could finish it. For a while, it had me very emotional, but she helped me power through it. I made her cry, so hopefully, it’s what you’re looking for!

Alright, without further ado… Tiny Hearts.

It wasn’t until Aelin felt the skin of her knuckles split that she realized she hadn’t wrapped her hands before putting on her gloves. She paused for a second, but the damage was already done and she went back to hitting the bag in front of her with all she had.

Her eyes stung as sweat dripped off her forehead and she could feel the dampness of her t-shirt clinging to her back. Stopping to grab a drink, she glanced up at the clock.

3:27 am.

Insomnia was nothing new to Aelin now. She was lucky if she managed to get about three hours of sleep a night at this point. So, when she realized she’d been staring at the inside of her eyelids for two and a half hours, she ended up at her cousin’s gym, taking advantage of his punching bags and various work out equipment to not only tire her out, but to distract her mind. It never worked.

Unfastening her gloves, she pulled them off, blood dripping onto the pristine, white, tiled floor. She watched as another drop joined, then another and another. Lifting her fist, she clenched it, causing her knuckles to turn white and the skin to tear just a bit more.

Aelin closed her eyes, relishing in the feeling of something, even if it was her own physical pain. After months and months of nothing but numbness, these small bits of proof that she was still alive down in her soul was what she needed. A car alarm going off somewhere outside of the studio brought her back to reality and she grabbed a paper towel and some bleach from the supply closet after she bandaged up her hand to clean up the blood.

Locking the door to her apartment, Aelin sighed as she leaned her forehead against the door frame, the metal cooling her flushed skin. She tossed her keys on her coffee table, sitting down to take her tennis shoes off. She leaned back onto the couch and cringed at the feeling of her sweaty skin against the leather. She just needed to sit for a second, then she’d get up and go shower.

Aelin heard a banging on her door as her eyes snapped open. The sun was streaming through her windows and she glanced at the clock above her fireplace.

8:41 am.

Rolling her neck, she groaned. She’d fallen asleep on the couch and her neck was stiff from the awkward position she’d been in all night. Sighing, she moved to lay down to get more comfortable and maybe get a few more hours of sleep, when she heard a key turn over in the deadbolt and the door swung open.

Her cousin’s voice boomed through the small kitchen and living room. “Rise and shine, princess!”

She grabbed one of the throw pillows and used it to cover her face. “I gave you that key for emergencies, Aedion.”

The pillow was ripped from her face and a familiar blonde head was looking down at her. He lifted her legs and flopped down on the couch. “You stink.”

“Come in, Aedion,” she growled. “Make yourself at home.”

“Well, I assume you used my gym last night, so I figured I could come use your couch and eat your food.” He took a massive bite out of the apple he’d swiped from her counter.

“Fair enough.” Aelin propped her foot up on the coffee table in front of her and they sat in silence for a couple of minutes.

“So we’re all going out for dinner tonight,” Aedion said quietly. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes. Aedion’s visits would always end with him trying to convince her to come out with their friends. Groaning, Aelin threw herself off of the couch and went into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from her fridge. “It’s Lysandra’s birthday,” he said, following her, leaning his hip on the counter. “You know, your best friend and my fiancée?”

Aelin looked at the calendar on her fridge. She hadn’t changed it in over 3 months. Time had literally gotten away from her. Her eyes focused on that day before blurring over as they filled with tears. She turned away from Aedion, wiping the back of her hand across her cheeks to get rid of the tears.

“Fireheart,” he said, resting his hand on her elbow. She jerked away from his touch.

“Don’t call me that,” she said, voice thick. “I can’t go. Tell her I’m sorry. We’ll do coffee or something this weekend.” She tried to slip by him, but he caught her by the wrist. She refused to look into his eyes, the eyes identical to her own, as they stared at her face. When she wouldn’t look at him, he glanced down at her bandaged knuckles and softly ran a thumb across the inside of her wrist.

“Aelin, it’s been over three months,” he started.

“Three months and twenty-two days,” she whispered without missing a beat.

Aedion’s heart broke for his cousin. “Go take a shower. I wasn’t kidding when I said you stank.” There was a hint of lightness in his tone, his joking nature never fully going away. “I’ll make you some breakfast and you can come with me to the gym. We’ll spar a bit.”

Aelin pulled her wrist from his grasp. “I’m not hungry.” She stepped away from him, but at least headed towards the hallway that contained her bathroom. “And I’m busy today.”

He knew not to push her past her breaking point, but he had to get her out of this apartment. “Doing what?”

She braced her hands on the door frame and sighed, closing her eyes. “Nothing, Aedion. I’m just busy.”

Aedion ran a hand through his blonde hair before making his way over to his cousin. “It would mean a lot to Lys for her best friend to be there tonight. Everyone would love to see you. Seven o’clock, at The Staghorns.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I hope I’ll see you later.”

Aelin listened as his footsteps retreated and she heard her door open and close, before the deadbolt clicked back into place. As she stood there in her empty apartment, for the first time in three months, she truly felt alone.

She turned the water on in the shower, turning the handle as far to the left as she could, steam slowly starting to fill the small bathroom. Taking off her shirt, she looked at her reflection, letting her hands fall to her stomach. She ran her hands over the faint scars scattered across her abdomen and slid a finger along the long, thick scar running from hip to hip.

As the steam clouded over the mirror, she turned away and undressed, getting in the shower.

The rest of the day passed in monotony like it usually did when she didn’t have to work at the gym, helping Aedion with paperwork. She cleaned, read a book, cleaned some more, and stared at the TV while some rerun of a 90’s sitcom played. Carrying a basket of laundry from the dryer to her bedroom, her elbow grazed the wood of the closed door across from her own, the spare bedroom. She jumped back as if she had been burned and dropped the basket full of towels. Pressed against the wall, staring at the door, images flashed through her mind. Pine green walls, walnut wood furniture, a tiny, stuffed hawk.

She picked up the laundry basket and retreated into her room, as if she could lock out the thoughts as easily as she could her bedroom door.

Aelin wasn’t sure what she was doing, sitting in the parking lot of the restaurant she and her friends used to come to every weekend.

For the first time in months, she’d put on makeup and styled her hair. She even found a dress in the back of her closet that she’d always wanted to wear, but never had. So, she got dressed, fixed her hair and gave herself one last look in the mirror.

She was surprised to recognize the girl in the mirror, for the first time in over a year. The smile fell when she realized that though she may look like herself, so much had changed, and she was a completely different person. She’d quit her job, living on the meager salary she made helping Aedion run the gym and pulling what she had to from the vast fortune that her parents left her when they were killed in a car accident.

She was just about to put her car in reverse when she saw Fenrys and Asterin walking into the restaurant, hand in hand, both laughing at something Aelin could only imagine Fenrys had said. An empty feeling in her chest settled, and she realized she missed her friends more than she had thought.

Opening the door, she stepped out, the cool November evening biting through her coat. As she got closer to the front doors, her heart began to speed up. Stopping to compose herself, she heard an excited “Aelin!” from behind her.

Turning around, Lysandra practically tackled her best friend, Aedion a few paces behind.

“Hey, Lys,” she said, voice quiet.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Lysandra said, still not letting go of Aelin. “I didn’t think you’d be here.”

Pulling back, Aelin smiled at her friend. “I couldn’t miss your birthday.”

With a dazzling smile, Lysandra took Aedion’s hand and they went into the restaurant. As they crossed the threshold, Lysandra went ahead and Aedion grasped Aelin’s shoulder, holding her back. She looked back at her cousin as they slowly walked to the back room they always occupied. “I need to tell you something.” Though Aedion’s voice was clear, she could hear the unease in it. She glanced at him as they slowly walked through the familiar din of voices and revelry. “I honestly didn’t think you were going to come tonight, so I didn’t think I needed to warn you…” His voice trailed off, but Aelin had stopped walking, breathing.

Through the open doorway, they could hear a chorus of “Happy Birthday!” as Lysandra made her way into the room. There was singing and laughing and smiles. But Aelin only saw one thing: gleaming, silver hair.

“Why is he here?” She whispered, unable to speak. Aedion’s hand was on her back as she kept stepping away, towards the front doors. She could hear him laughing at something one of their friends had said.

“He moved back about three weeks ago. We didn’t know how to tell you.” He was smiling broadly at Gavriel.

She just kept staring, as if he would eventually disappear. She began shaking her head and closed her eyes. “No, Aedion. No. I can’t…” She let her words fade out, but opened her eyes, only to find a pine green pair staring right back.

Stepping out of Aedion’s reach, she hauled ass out of the restaurant, but instead of going to her car, she ran around the side of the building to hurl her guts up.

They say a sibling is a child’s first best friend, but what about an only child? Sure, they play with their parent’s friend’s kids when they come over and with their cousins, but nothing is as constant to an only child as their next-door neighbor.

Rowan was two years older than Aelin, but when Rhoe and Evalin bought the house next door to the Whitethorn family, the two hit it off and became best friends. Growing up as a tomboy, Aelin kept up with Rowan and his group of friends. Once she started school, she met Dorian and Chaol and the rest of their group of friends. All throughout school, they were inseparable. Of course, she hung out with Nehemiah and Lysandra on her own, but she was never as close to anyone as she was to Rowan.

They had been best friends for as long as they could remember, but in college, they decided to add a few benefits. They both agreed that it was purely physical and that if one of them met someone, they’d end it immediately. They had both been single for so long, the bar scene didn’t really appeal to either of them, and sometimes, you just need a good lay.

Aelin didn’t expect to fall in love with him. It was stupid of her, really. She never should have agreed. She couldn’t say anything to him, knowing he didn’t feel the same. Saying something would ruin not only the agreement they made, but their lifelong friendship.

Then there was a night that changed everything.

Aelin was sitting at a desk in the library at 8:45, her laptop screen open to a page outlining the risks of underage consumption. Somehow she’d managed to put off her Oral Communications class until her senior year of college, but it had finally caught up to her. She couldn’t put it off any longer if she wanted to graduate in December and groaned as she scrolled down the page and saw yet another photo of a car accident caused by an underage drunk driver. As a 23-year-old in her fourth year of elementary education, she could handle blood, vomit, and boo boos, but some things would make anyone cringe.

When her phone lit up “Buzzard” with the owl emoji next to his name, Aelin smiled.

She swiped across her screen and lifted the phone to her ear.

“Hello?” She answered, voice lowered.

Rowan’s smooth voice breezed through the phone. “Someone must be at the library.”

“Yeah, I’ve got a speech on underage drinking on Monday that I have to give in front of a bunch of 18-year-old freshman.”

“Well you should be an expert on that, shouldn’t you, Fireheart,” he chuckled. Aelin rolled her eyes. Between Rowan and Aedion, it was never hard for Aelin to convince one of them to buy for her before she turned 21.

“Shut up, you old buzzard,” she said, closing her laptop, and slipping her notebook into her backpack. “What are you doing tonight?”

Rowan groaned and Aelin could practically see him falling onto his couch. “I just got home from the office. I had a deposition I had to take care of and then one of the partners wanted to have a meeting with me.”

“Anything interesting?” She asked, walking out of the library and headed towards the lot she’d parked in. Rowan worked for one of the most prestigious law firms in the area, the youngest in his office and the highest success rate.

“Eh, I don’t want to talk about that right now. I’ll tell you later.” She heard the finality in his tone and decided not to push. “However,” he chimed in as Aelin started her car. “I have a 12 pack in my fridge, a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and Chinese takeout on the way. If you want to come over.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

Good to her word, Aelin was knocking on the door to Rowan’s apartment eight minutes later. The door swung open and there he stood, in all of his 6’4” glory. He was still wearing his suit from work, but his tie was loosened and the top button of his shirt was undone. As he took a swig out of the beer bottle in his hand, Aelin didn’t even try to hide her gaze as it swept from head to toe. “See something you like?” He asked, a smirk on that handsome face. Aelin just scoffed and walked past him into the apartment, dropping her bag onto his table and heading into the kitchen to grab a glass of wine. She heard him heading towards his bedroom. “Help yourself to the food, you know where everything is. I’m gonna go change.”

Piling a couple of plates high with chow mein and sesame chicken, she grabbed her glass of wine and headed into the living room, grabbing his PlayStation4 controller and flipping through Netflix. He came back into the living room, a pair of basketball shorts hung low on his hips as he pulled his shirt on. He flopped on the couch next to her and picked up his beer.

“So what are we feeling tonight?” Aelin asked as she looked through the list of movies and shows they’d saved. “Rom-com? Horror flick?” She gasped. “Ooh! How about that 9/11 conspiracy documentary we added last week?”

“How about,” Rowan said, getting up and looking through his DVDs, pulling one out and turning towards her, “we play a drinking game?”

Aelin looked at the copy of Lord of the Rings in his hands and groaned, leaning her head back on the couch. “Last time I played one of your ‘drinking games’,” she said, holing up air quotes, “I swore off of tequila for good. I can’t take a drink every time ‘the ring’ is mentioned. I’ll literally die.”

He put the DVD in the console and sat down, taking the controller from her. “It won’t be that bad, trust me.”

Three hours later, Aelin decided she was never going to trust Rowan again. After she’d drained the bottle of wine and they’d polished off the 12 pack together, Rowan had busted out a bottle of Jack Daniels and the night had gone to shit. Eventually the movie had been forgotten and knees accidentally brushing became fingers skimming on flushed skin. Heated looks became shared breath and clashing teeth and tongues.

After moving things into Rowan’s room, Aelin laid on his chest as he drew lazy circles on her bare back. She was drifting into unconsciousness when he cleared his throat.

“So,” he started, and she rested her chin on her hand to look up at him. “About the meeting with the partners earlier.” He paused and she waited, wondering why he was telling her this tonight instead of filling her in during breakfast the next morning. He ran a hand over his face and Aelin felt a sense of dread settle into her stomach. “They’re, uh, the firm is going to be closing down at the end of the week.”

Aelin sat up, holding the sheet to her chest. “What? Rowan, oh, my God.”

He sat up as well, leaning back on his pillows. “It’s okay, I-.”

“It’s fine, you’ve got an amazing record. You can go to any of the other firms around here, even if they won’t pay you as well.” She rolled her eyes, remembering the conversation they’d had when one of the other firms approached Rowan with an offer and he laughed in their faces, thinking it was actually a joke. “If there’s anything I can do, just tell-.”

“Come with me.”

“I- What?” She blinked at him. His green eyes sparkled in the dimly lit room.

“They’re closing down because they’re moving to California. The firm will still exist but we’re just relocating. Aelin, they want me to come with them. They want to make me partner.”

Aelin just continued to stare at him, mouth hanging open in shock. Rowan had always dreamed of becoming a partner, and at only 25-years-old, it was absolutely unheard of. But that wasn’t what had struck her.

“Come…with you? You want me to come to California? With you?”

He nodded. “I leave on Sunday. I have family out there. I’m gonna be staying with my cousin, Endymion, for a little bit, but just until I can find my own place.”

She couldn’t speak, couldn’t find the words to describe what she was thinking. She looked down at his arm, the swirls of black ink snaking all the way down to his fingertips. “Rowan, I-.”

“I love you.”

Aelin’s head snapped up as she stared at him. “What did you say?”

He cupped her face in his hands and leaned towards her. “Aelin, I love you. I have for as long as I can remember. I think I always have, and I always will.” She stared at him, eyes wide. Her mouth was dry and she couldn’t remember how to speak. “Come with me, please. Come with me and we can be together.”

She blinked a few times and was surprised to feel tears pricking her eyes. She got out of bed before he could see them and started getting dressed. “I can’t,” she whispered. “My degree, my job.” She couldn’t go with him. She couldn’t uproot her life here, her education. She would be graduating in less than a month and had already been offered a teaching position at a private school. It didn’t matter that she had loved him for her entire life as well. Shimmying into her leggings, she heard him climbing out of bed as well and headed into the living room. She grabbed her phone off of the couch after she pulled her boots on and threw her backpack over her shoulder. By the time she found her keys on the kitchen counter, Rowan had pulled his shorts back on and was running into the living room.

“Aelin, wait,” he called.

She was standing in the open door, the cold air chilling the tears on her face. She whispered, “I’m sorry.”

As she climbed into her car, she couldn’t breathe. She threw her car into drive and headed to her own apartment. Running in, she tossed her bag on the floor and crawled straight into her bed, crying until she had no more tears to cry. As she drifted off to sleep, she realized that she didn’t even tell him she loved him, too.

With a hand braced on the brick wall, she was taking a deep breath through her mouth when she heard “Fireheart,” from behind her.

She clenched her eyes shut as tightly as she could. “Don’t call me that.”

His steps were light as he came closer. “I’ve always called you that.”

“Well, not anymore,” she snapped, standing up to look at him.

Rowan Whitethorn was just as handsome as the last time she’d seen him, though his hair was quite a bit shorter. It only made his green eyes and harsh features stand out more. Features that only seemed to soften when he was looking at her. “What are you doing out here?” she asked.

“I wanted to see you,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “How have you been?”

Aelin just let out a harsh laugh as she slipped past him, careful not to actually touch the man. “You’d know if you’d answered one of my calls.” She kept walking towards her car and she heard him jog to catch up with her.

“I wanted to,” he said, his longer legs allowing him to fall into step with her. “But with how we left things…”

Tears were already falling as she spun to look at him. As soon as she looked up into his face, she knew she made a mistake. Her voice shook as she said, “I called you for five months.” She took a deep breath. “I can’t do this right now, Rowan.”

As she went to move away, his fingers wrapped around her own. “Can’t we just forget about that night?”

That night. The night that had changed everything. The night that had changed her entire life.

“No, Rowan, we can’t. That night happened, whether we pretend it did or it didn’t.”

“Yes, we can,” he said, as she started to walk away, tightening his grip on her hand. “If we just forget that night, if you can forget what I said, then we can start over and-”.

“I can’t forget about the night that you got me pregnant!”

His fingers went slack around hers and his arm fell to his side. “What did you say?”

The tears were freely falling now and Aelin wrapped her arms around her body, as if she could hug her once round belly.

“Pregnant?” Rowan asked, voice so low she could barely hear him. “I have a- I’m a-?”

“No” was all she could say.

His voice was a whisper as he said, “You miscarried?”

A choked sob ripped from Aelin’s body. Rowan took a step towards her, but she raised her hand and placed it on his chest, stopping him. Without another word, Aelin turned around and walked to her car, leaving Rowan to stand in the parking lot and stare as her taillights faded away.

After a few minutes, Rowan made his way back inside. Taking his seat next to Aedion, he stared at the beer in front of him, watching the bubble rise to the top. The room was quiet, light conversation going on amongst his friends, but he couldn’t focus on any one voice. There was too much noise inside his head.

Aelin had been pregnant.

He had left when she hadn’t told him she loved him, too, but he was hurt. He was embarrassed that he had laid his heart on the line and she hadn’t given hers in return. So, he had ignored her, for weeks, and then her calls had become less and less, and he figured she’d finally gotten the picture.

And then after a month of silence, her face lit up his phone screen, and he didn’t answer. He was so ashamed of how he’d acted. The next day, she’d called back and again, he’d ignored her. He didn’t even know what to say to her.

He’d started dating Lyria soon after, and even though Aelin was across the country, he couldn’t get her off of his mind. After a few months, they broke it off. It was a lot harder on her than on him, but he could never fully devote himself to her. There was something missing. Now, he knew what it was.

For the first time in over a year, tonight, when he looked up and saw those turquoise and gold eyes, he was home. Of course, when he saw that she turned and ran away in tears, all of the guilt and shame he had felt over her for the past year came rushing back. He knew she was trying to get in touch with him, but he’d had no idea.

A baby… She had been pregnant with his baby.

A hand rested on his shoulder. He glanced up to see Aedion looking at him, pity in those eyes identical to Aelin’s. “You knew?”

Aedion removed his hand and took a drink of his beer. “We all did.” He motioned around the room. “Someone had to be her support system, even if she was determined to do this on her own.”

Rowan nodded, he knew how headstrong she was. It was one of the many reasons he loved her. “She said that I-.” He had to clear his throat, to stop the breaking of his voice. “That I wasn’t a father.” Aedion was looking at his hands, resting on his knees. He didn’t respond. “What does she mean?”

He dragged a hand across his eyes and Rowan pretended he didn’t notice the wetness on the back of his friend’s hand. Aedion looked up at him. Unshed tears rimmed his turquoise and gold eyes. “She’s going to have to be the one to explain that to you.”

Rowan glanced at his watch and saw the time. It was barely 7:30. Dinner hadn’t even been ordered yet.

“Go.”

He looked up at Aedion who had stood to make his way back to his seat next to Lysandra. He was holding a key out for him. “Lysandra will understand.” Rowan took the key, clasping his friend’s outstretched hand and stood, pulling him into a cross between a hug and a handshake. He threw a few bills on the table to cover his drinks and ran to his car.

Letting the door swing open, the apartment was dark, save for the hallway, spilling yellow light out into the living room. Rowan pocketed the key as he stepped in, looking around. The two-bedroom apartment Aelin and Lysandra had shared before Aedion had proposed still looked virtually the same as the last time he’d seen it. But as he looked a little closer, he could see that things weren’t as they once had been.

Aelin was never the cleanest person. She was by no means dirty, but “clutter” was her favorite style of interior design. As Rowan looked around the apartment, he couldn’t find a single thing out of place. Everything had a home and there wasn’t even a dirty dish in the sink.

A quiet sob had him heading for the hallway but the sight before him made him stop in his tracks.

Curled up on the floor in front of an elegant crib made of dark wood, Aelin clutched a stuffed animal to her chest. Rowan could see the tears streaming down her cheeks but he felt powerless to do anything.

“I found out I was pregnant two months to the day after you left.” He couldn’t move. He just stood there, listening. “I went to the doctor for my annual checkup and they just came in talking about her vitals and I had no idea what they were talking about.”

Her.

That one word felt like a punch to the gut. A daughter.

He walked closer and dropped to his knees in front of her. He could clearly see what was in her arms now and it made his eyes well up with tears.

A stuffed hawk. A buzzard, just like him.

“That’s when I tried calling you again. I just needed you to know.” And he hadn’t answered. “Things were going well. I was teaching and I loved my class. My kids were so excited for me to have her. They wanted me to bring her in and they’d started compiling a list of options for her name. I told them I’d bring her to meet them after Summer Break.”

Rowan’s hand reached up to cup her cheek, and Aelin leaned into it, of her body’s own accord. Her cheek was soft and warm, and those breathtaking eyes finally looked into his own. The pain and grief in them finally broke him down and tears began to stream down his own cheeks. Aelin’s eyes snapped shut and her brow furrowed as a sob tore out of her.

“She was born on May 2nd, at 7:52 pm. 21 inches long and 9 pounds, 6 ounces.” A sound that was a cross between a laugh and a sob came out. “I was in labor for 19 hours before they performed an emergency C-section and I told Dorian that if I ever saw you again, I was going to castrate you for doing this to me.” Her lips wobbled as she took a shaking breath. “Raegan Nora.”

Rowan looked at the hawk again.

Raegan.

His daughter’s name was Raegan.

“She had your eyes.” His head jerked up to look at her, but she was looking above the crib, where her name was painted on the wall. He bit his lip to stop the sob trying to break free.

“She was a little hellion,” Aelin laughed, tears still streaming down her cheeks. “She was perfect at the hospital, sleeping when she was supposed to and she latched immediately. But then I brought her home.” She sighed and clutched the stuffed animal a little tighter, looking back to him. “She could only sleep if she was being held, and she wasn’t latching like she was supposed to. I was so tired, but I’d never been happier. I didn’t think I could ever love someone as much as I loved her.”

Her chin wobbled and the light left her eyes as she said, “But then one night, I laid her down after she fed and brought the baby monitor across the hall into my room. I was so exhausted that I laid down and fell asleep immediately. I didn’t even change out of my clothes.” She took a shaking breathing and Rowan took one of her hands. She didn’t pull away. “I woke up on my own in the morning, and I knew something was wrong.” He felt sick and was glad he hadn’t eaten dinner before coming here. “She wasn’t sleeping through the night yet and she hadn’t cried or woken me up once. I checked her baby monitor and it was working right. So, I got up and ran into her nursery.”

Before the first sob could wrack her body, Rowan already had her in his lap. Her tears were darkening the fabric of his shirt as his own fell on the top of her head. Words failed him as he rubbed her back and she clung to him as if he were the only thing keeping her on this earth. Aelin whispered, “She was ice cold.” Rowan stopped moving.

“She stopped breathing at some point in the middle of the night and I had no idea.” She cried and he wrapped his arms tightly around her slim waist. She was so tiny, he couldn’t imagine her belly swollen, how her small body could even support it. “I was 15 feet across the hall and she died and I slept through it.”

Rowan rasped out, his first words since walking into the dark apartment, “I’m so sorry, Aelin. I’m so sorry.”

The fists clinging to his shirt banged against his chest weakly. “You weren’t here!” she cried. “I needed you, from the moment I found out, and you weren’t here!”

“I’m so sorry,” was all he could say. And all she said was, “You weren’t here.”

Eventually, Aelin fell asleep with her head on his shoulder. Rowan knew she was out from light snore leaving her mouth, so he carefully stood, cradling her against his chest and carried her to her bedroom. He laid her on the bed and carefully pulled the covers up over her thin shoulders. He brushed hair off her forehead, marveling at the beauty on her peaceful, sleeping face. How could he have ever left her? How could he have been so stupid? Cracking her door as he left, his eyes fell on the small hawk laying on the floor where they’d been sitting.

Flicking on the light switch, he could finally see the nursery for what it was. The walls had been painted the exact same shade as his eyes and he couldn’t help but smile sadly. Everything else was decorated tastefully in greys and whites. He surveyed the shelves, looking at the clothes his daughter had worn, or maybe hadn’t had the chance to. He picked up the onesie draped across the changing table, as if Aelin had planned to dress her in it the next morning. Mommy’s Little Princess. It was so tiny, soft lace around the bodice, fashioned like a skirt. He fingered the soft lace, so dainty and fine. Rowan felt tears running down his face and carefully laid the pink outfit back out. He walked across the room and picked the hawk up off the floor. He closed his eyes and brought it to his forehead, resting it there. He could distinctly smell Aelin on it, but there was also another scent. Even having never smelled it before, it was now burned into his memory, the pure, sweet smell of his daughter. He rested the small animal in the corner of the crib and made a move to leave the nursery when two frames caught his eye.

One light, one dark. Polar opposites, even in harmony with each other.

In a frame of dark wood, the Galathynius family crest emblazoned in gold, text around it reading “Be who you were created to be and you will set the world on fire.”

And next to it, in silver, “Snowflakes are like kisses from heaven”, wrapping around – the Whitethorn family crest.

��I wanted her to know you, too.”

Rowan whirled to find Aelin leaning on the doorway, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She stepped closer to stand next to him and looked at the frames. “Whenever the time came, and she asked, I was going to tell her all about you.” A single tear slid down her cheek. “I was going to tell her that you were my best friend and my favorite person to be with. And that you loved me very much.”

Warm fingers wrapped around his own and he looked down at their clasped hands. He glanced at her, finding the corner of her mouth quirked up into a small smile.

“That you would’ve loved her, too, if you’d had the chance to meet her.” Rowan had to shut his eyes to stop the tears threatening to spill over. When he felt Aelin’s feather light touch on his cheek, he knew he’d failed. She stepped away and he opened his eyes to watch her.

She grabbed a large scrapbook off the book shelf and clutched it to her chest. “She may have only lived for two, short months, but she was so loved. By me, by Aedion and Lysandra, and all of our friends.” She paused, collecting her thoughts. “Come on.”

She walked into the living room and clicked the light on as she sat down on the couch. Rowan sat next to her and she handed him the pink book.

A sad smile was on her beautiful face when he looked up at her from the baby book. “Rowan, it’s time for you to get to know your daughter.”

As they went through, page by page, picture by picture, and story by story, Aelin laughed, truly laughed for the first time in nearly four months as she remembered things that their daughter had done, that their friends had done for her, of her giggles and the budding personality she was beginning to show. They laughed, cried and by the end of the night, they held each other and didn’t say a word. And as Aelin fell asleep on the couch, curled against Rowan’s chest, the sun filtering through the curtains on her windows, she could feel her heart begin to beat again. She could feel herself beginning to heal.