#now to SickFic my babies!!! finally reunited

[bellysoupset]

Jonah was more than a little jittery when he finally made it to Portland's airport, Angie rubbing his arm in a rhythmic manner that was annoying more than comforting him, but he wasn't gonna tell her that.

Thank God for Lucas, Jonah nearly chuckled at the thought. It wasn't the first or even the third time he thought this in the last 20 hours and the irony wasn't lost on him. Luke was waiting for him at the end of the disembark area, but he opened his arms for a hug and it was Angie who leaped forward to jump on him.

"How are you, kiddo?" he said, his voice muffled as he swooped Angelina into a bear hug and pulled her feet off the ground. Angie's whole face turned a shade darker as she blushed bashfully, a huge smile on her face.

"Next trip you should tag along," she said, pushing his arm in a playful manner.

"I'll hold you up to that invite," Lucas' was all smiles and Jonah could see right through him, keeping Angie busy so they didn't need to rehash uncomfortable details in front of the teenager. Instead of greeting Jonah, he planted a hand on the man's nape and squeezed in a comforting way, tugging Jon closer to Luke could press a kiss on the top of his curls.

Jonah huffed, shoving his friend off by the chest and staring ahead. He had a million questions, but he didn't want to ask them in front of Angie. It wasn't that he didn't trust her, but he didn't want her knowing something he knew Leo wouldn't want to tell. His fiancé was terribly private with strangers and Angelina was still that to him.

"You're staying with Wendy, that's alright, Ange?" Luke asked, putting her luggage in the trunk of his car and piling Jonah's on top of it. Angie's eyes darted between Jonah and Luke and she frowned.

"Is Leo alright?" Her voice was careful, measured and Luke smiled at her, slamming the trunk closed.

"He'll be fine, he just needs some cuddles from your brother," he said smoothly, as if Jonah wasn't right there. Angie nodded, not looking very convinced.

"Okay... Yeah, staying at Wendy's fine, as long as I'm not imposing."

"She volunteered her couch," Lucas yawned, opening the backseat door for the girl and gesturing for her to get in, "it's bigger than mine and much comfier, otherwise you'd be staying with us."

"Aw," she pouted, getting inside, "I was looking forward to knowing Bella better, she seems so cool."

"She is," Luke sounded incredibly smug, "we're gonna have dinner together, you'll have the chance to chat- Jon, get inside, man."

Jonah wasn't sure how he was even functioning, the past twenty hours since Luke's call had been hellish, consumed by worry. He hadn't rested at all and it was definitely getting to him, he felt almost dizzy.

He was half dozing off against the window for most of the drive, switching between staring at Leo's messages - not a single new text - and listening as Luke continued to talk with Angie. College, exchanging tidbits about Europe, asking her what she wanted for dinner-

"Jon, we're here," Luke shook his knee gently and Jonah blinked, rubbing his eyes. He hadn't realized he fell asleep, but now they were inside his building's garage and Lucas was already getting his bag out of the trunk.

"You're not coming up....?"

"Nope, tell Bell we're waiting for her downstairs," Luke passed him the handle of his bag, then pulled Jonah into a sudden, but unsurprising hug, "he's alright," he lowered his voice so Angie couldn't hear from inside the car, where she had turned around in the backseat to watch them, "shaken, but he's okay. I think he just needs you."

Jonah nodded briskly and Luke let go of him.

He wasn't sure what he expected, but it certainly wasn't to hear Leo's laughter the minute he crossed the doorway. Jonah let go of his bag, shutting the front door gently and hearing as Leo giggled, "noooo, he's hot, you're just mean-"

"He looks like a very stressed rat," Bella's voice was clearly amused and Jonah walked further in, smiling as he saw they had collected half the blankets of the house and were curled up in the living room couch, Leo's head pressed to Bella's shoulder and her fingers combing through his hair as they watched House of Gucci.

"Hi?"

Leo's head snapped up so quickly he nearly hit Bella's chin, missing it by a couple inches, "Jon!" he tried to get up, but they had trapped themselves with the blankets and all he managed was to almost fall off, legs tangled.

Jonah leaped forward too, stepping over Bella's legs and nearly falling as well, pulling Leo into a tight hug. He had been so fucking worried, it was a huge relief to be able to touch him.

Leo let out a groan, his face pressed to Jonah's neck, "can't-breathe-" and Jon pulled back, cupping his face. Somehow he had thought Leo would look worse, but he looked just as fine as ever. His hair was definitely dirty, because instead of pin straight it was so wavy it had almost turned curly, and there were dark circles like bruises under his blue eyes as well as more than a stubble covering his cheeks... Other than that he looked fine.

"God-" Jonah lurched forward haphazardly, lips smashing together in a kiss that was nearly a bruise. Leo breathed out, hands coming up to cup his cheek and lips pressing against his, the tip of his nose was freezing pressed against Jonah's cheekbone, "you're alright- You're ok," Jon chanted feverishly, pulling back and studying his boyfriend's face.

Leo's eyes were overly shiny and he sniffled, but nodded and then pulled back, his whole face turning red as a cherry as they realized Bella had been directly under them, watching, completely trapped by the fact they were each stepping in one end of the blanket.

"No, don't mind me, this is cute," she said sarcastically, causing Leo to let out a watery chuckle.

"Sorry," he tried to pull back from Jonah, didn't manage when his boyfriend didn't let go, so instead Bella rolled out of the couch in the most convoluted way.

"Luke's waiting downstairs," Jonah said, cringing as he realized how dismissive he had been. Luckily this was Bella, who didn't take offense easily, and she raised a thumb up, crawling to grab her boots from under the couch.

"One of you text us later," she said, her voice coming out muffled, "or Lucas is gonna come here and I know none of you want that-" she sat down on the ground to put on her combat boots and JD appeared as well, trying to chew on the cords, "and don't worry about Angie, we got her."

"Angie's here?" Leo asked and Jonah completely ignored it, leaning in so he could press his whole face to the side of his boyfriend's, inhaling him.

"We got her, don't worry," Bella shrugged, "between Wendy and Lucas she'll be so busy she's gonna want to go home," she stood up, looking around for her purse and grabbing it, "I'm serious, text us."

"Okay," Jon mumbled and heard a small exasperated huff, before Bella's footsteps vanished down the hallway, her voice coming "no baby, you can't come with me-" as she kept JD inside and then the door shutting.

Jonah breathed out and Leo turned slightly, tilting his body back so he was able to look him in the eyes, "I'm glad you're home."

"What happened?"

Leo's brows dipped and his lips tugged on the corners, "I was hoping Luke would've spilled it all-"

"I don't wanna hear it from Luke, I wanna know it from you," Jonah scoffed and Leo nodded, then pulled him down to the messy couch.

Jonah had had time enough to come up with a thousand hypotheticals, so as he heard the ballroom class tale, he was both relieved it wasn't something worse and floored by the cheer improbability of it.

He didn't miss the way Leo's voice became squeezed and weird when he said Amelia didn't even remember him or how she had called him by his father's name. His boyfriend gulped down, looking away and hugging his knees, as if he wanted to turn himself into a little ball, "and that's it. Wendy drove me home and the guys have been keeping me company since."

Jonah sighed, "you called off work?"

"Wendy did it for me," Leo snorted, "she said she was my doctor," he pressed his chin to his knee, "I'm okay, I- I'm not okay," he corrected himself, meeting Jonah's eyes, "but I'm not as bad as they seem to think I am... I called my therapist and he suggested I go back up to twice a week instead of only once, at least for this month."

"Okay," Jon scooted closer, not able to stomach the tiny distance between them. He wanted to scoop up Leo and not let go for the next eight or nine hours.

"I keep- I keep thinking of her face, right?" the blonde picked at the skin of his fingers, "and how she- How she didn't even recognize me... I just feel so... So small-"

Jonah reached forward, grabbing Leo's hands before he could peel another layer - judging by the state of his thumb, this new habit had already been causing damage - and tugged at his wrists, forcing Leo to uncurl and fall against him.

"I was crawling up the walls when you didn't text," Jon told him, smoothing Leo's hair back gently, "and then Luke did and I just... It was like the ground fell under me. I haven't been able to even think right until now-"

"I'm sorry," Leo sniffled, tearing up all over, "I wanted to, but-"

"No," Jonah glared at him, "I'm not mad at you, I'm saying this so you understand you're not small... I'm so so sorry about Amelia. I wish none of this had ever happened to you, I wish she wasn't in this town-"

Leo nodded, wiping angrily at his eyes and brushing away the tears clinging to his lashes, so Jonah continued, "but I need you to know whatever your brain is telling you about being small or unloved- It's not true. You're my whole damn world, Leo."

That did it and Leo's face scrunched up as he started to openly cry, throwing himself over Jonah, letting out a pained sob as Jon kissed his temple and chanted quietly, over and over, "I love you, I love you, I love you."

[siverwrites]

Trick or Treat Letter 2021

AO3: Siver

Thank you for taking this on! Here there are some general prompt details if you want them and if you already have some idea of your own, awesome. I can’t wait to see what you come up with.

Note sometimes I have some specific prompts for some characters while other don’t. This has nothing to do with priority or preferences. They’re just ones I happened to some specific thoughts for. Of course they’re only ideas and you’re free to ignore them!

All requests are for fic or art.

Art: Interactions of some sort: emoting at each other, talking, sharing some activity, taking a walk, hugs are always welcome, soft things, whatever suits the pair/group. I’d much prefer the character(s) doing something over just standing around looking cool.

Likes: fluff, hurt/comfort, found family, sickfic, fandom crossovers or fusions between requested fandoms, angst with a happy or at least bittersweet end, bonding, cuddling/hugs/holding, banter, mutual care and support, loyalty, pre-canon, post-canon, missing scenes, slice of life, supernatural stuff, mystery, adventure, world-building, creepy or unsettling atmospheres

DNW: NSFW, non-con, dub-con, underage relationships, unrequested ships, infidelity, explicit gore, modern AUs (college, high school, coffee shop etc), non-canonical permanent character death

Any combination of character tags within each fandom is cool. I have specfic pairs and groups listed at points but those are only for ideas. Heck, any crossover/fusion between any of these fandoms is welcome too, go nuts.

For treats: you can’t go wrong with fluff! Friendship, familial bonds, found family, romance for the few ship possibilities listed here.

For tricks: I like it atmospheric. Unsettling atmospheres. Unresolved mystery. Making use of the stranger environments canon may already provide. The surreal. The strange. The supernatural. Much prefer a subtler creepy factor over ‘jump scares’ and gore.

Ghost Trick

Alma

Cabanela

Jowd

Sissel

Kamila

Lynne

Missile

Pigeon Man

Lovey-Dove

Mino

DNW: NSFW, non-con, dub-con, underage relationships, unrequested ships, infidelity, explicit gore, modern AUs (college, high school, coffee shop etc), non-canonical permanent character death

Ships I’m good with: Alma/Jowd/Cabanela, Alma/Jowd, Cabanela/Jowd (where the focus is there but without infidelity to Alma), Alma/Cabanela (again no infidelity just where the focus is)

I love this game, its characters and pretty much everything about it, so whatever you want to do will be great I’m sure. New timeline mysteries and missing memories are always welcome where it makes sense. Alternate timelines and what-ifs are cool to explore. Fluff, comfort, family found or otherwise and friendships are always a go. Spooky ghost shenanigans, mysteries in the night.

Any combination of these characters is more than welcome too!

Any combination of Jowd/Cabanela/Alma or Jowd & Cabanela & Alma is always welcome.

Always down for various combinations of Pigeon Man with Cabanela, Jowd and/or Kamila. Or PM with someone less expected like Alma! Or Sissel! Or Missile! The Jowd family expands and you cannot escape. In other words found family with Lynne or with Pigeon Man (or both of course).

Animal shenanigans on their own or with each other and fluff is great.

Sissel settling into the Jowd household and the shenanigans that ensue from having a ghost-powered cat.

Mino: What is Mino? Who is Mino? This is trick or treat, go weird, have fun.

Alma: We just need more of our girl honestly. Sweet relationship or family stuff. Go supernatural and consider Alma ghost either during game or temporarily post-game before being rescued by Sissel (Maybe helping Sissel save herself in that situation?)

--

Final Fantasy VI

Celes

Sabin

Chocobos

Valigarmanda

Mog

Phantom Train

Gogo

Relm

Interceptor

DNW: NSFW, non-con, dub-con, underage relationships, unrequested ships, infidelity, explicit gore beyond canon typical, modern AUs (college, high school, coffee shop etc), Gogo as Daryl, non-canonical permanent character death

Valigarmanda: I just want to know more about them (she? he? your pronoun of choice). What led to them frozen in Narshe? Do they still hold some form of awareness in that state? Do the moogles look after at all? Some form of communication between them? How did they feel joining the party as magicite? What exactly took place between them and Terra? So many possibilities or something else entirely.

Mog: I just like moogles okay. Throw him at anyone here in the above list and see what happens. Or a moogle adventure in Narshe or elsewhere. Sky's the limit, dance's the limit?

Chocobos: I just like chocobos okay. Throw one or more at anyone here in the above list and see what happens. If you want something more specific I will never have enough serpent trench travel with Sabin and Celes in the World of Ruin. Give them chocobos and off they go. Figaro chocobos are also good. Chocobo anything.

Phantom Train: I have no particular thoughts here but what better exchange than Trick or Treat for the Phantom Train itself? Exploring more about it whether it's just it or throw characters at it. All cool.

Celes and Sabin: as stated I'm an absolute sucker for world of ruin travel with these two and anything more is good. That said if you want to focus on just one of them or one of them with someone else that's great too. I've only lumped them together for sake of convenience. Sabin in Figaro? Sabin with another here? Celes travels in the saved world?

Interceptor: Does he interact much with any of the rest of the party? Or... dog and chocobo... Or just you know can't go wrong with Interceptor and Relm things ever

Relm: Any interaction with anyone here. Leaning on her Sketch ability would be cool. Mimic paint off with Gogo?

Gogo: Gogo's just neat. More of them good.

--

Carto

Carto

Carto's Puppy

Granny Maldpo

Shianan

Shianan's Puppy

Storytender

DNW: NSFW, non-con, dub-con, underage relationships, unrequested ships, infidelity, explicit gore, modern AUs (college, high school, coffee shop etc), non-canonical permanent character death

I just want to see a little more of these characters and this world. The game was so cute and neat. More travel or stories or some sort of cute moment with Carto and Maldpo, and puppy if post-game, on their airship! Granny Maldpo is so cool! Explorer pilot grandma hell yeah! A little adventure for her? More exploration of Shianan (and her puppy!)? A reunion with Carto again?

The story chalet was also just really neat so doing more with it and the Storytender is absolutely welcome. What does an average day for him look like in an ever-changeable library with books writing themselves?

--

The Last Guardian

The Boy

Trico

DNW: NSFW, non-con, dub-con, underage relationships, unrequested ships, infidelity, explicit gore, modern AUs (college, high school, coffee shop etc), non-canonical permanent character death

Give me all the cat-dog-bird fluff/shenanigans/playfulness/warmth/coziness. Anything while they’re together. Barrel feeding, snuggle time, riding, flying. Sweet or silly (Trico has his moments for sure) or something else. I adore Trico. I adore the boy and Trico’s companionship.

Alternatively something in the future. The boy grown up reuniting with Trico. A flight with Trico. A temporary willing return to the nest. Meeting Trico babies!

--

Metroid

Samus

Chozo

Baby Metroid

DNW: NSFW, non-con, dub-con, underage relationships, unrequested ships, infidelity, explicit gore beyond canon typical, modern AUs (college, high school, coffee shop etc), reliance on manga knowledge, spoilers for Metroid Dread, non-canonical permanent character death

While I don't have anything particular in mind here, I'm all about the mood for Metroid and would appreciate really leaning on the atmosphere and environmental aspects--either more lush areas (eg Brinstar, Tallon IV landing area) but still isolating, or the darker more tense places. I'm particularly fond of Super Metroid and Metriod Prime.

Any singular focus on one of the above three or some combo is good.

Regarding the manga: I know next to nothing about it, so light referencing without needed knowledge is fine; anything deeper than that please avoid?

--

Monkey Island

Guybrush Threepwood

Elaine Marley

Murray

El Pollo Diablo

Feral Chickens

DNW: NSFW, non-con, dub-con, underage relationships, unrequested ships, infidelity, explicit gore, modern AUs (college, high school, coffee shop etc), Escape from Monkey Island, angst, non-canonical permanent character death

Silly pirate-y shenanigans. Guybrush and Elaine team-up on something actually in one place? Any interactions with Murray are always a treat and we’ve never gotten to see those with Elaine in the mix.

Explore the legend of El Pollo Diablo in some way. What do the chickens get up to now they roam free across Puerto Pollo? What oh-so-nefarious schemes is Murray up to now? A feral chicken demonic skull team-up?? I mean, that’s kinda close to El Pollo Diablo right???

This is coming off as Curse of Monkey Island-centric (it is my favourite) but it doesn’t have to be. It’s just because of the chickens… and Murray. But mainly chickens. Anytime from the previous games, or future or off to the side is good too.

--

Bug Fables

Kabbu

Leif

Vi

Chompy

Elizant II

DNW: NSFW, non-con, dub-con, underage relationships, unrequested ships, infidelity, explicit gore, modern AUs (college, high school, coffee shop etc), non-canonical permanent character death

I love the group dynamics! Party fun times while they’re travelling would be good. Really interested in more with Leif’s situation because that is a Lot and open to more introspection and dealing–Kabbu support go? Attempted Vi support go? Chompy being the best plant she can be? Snuggle that plant during hard times?

Exploring that lab more and cordyceps is welcome for the creepier end of things. Same with the Giant’s Lair and what IS that giant eye?

There’s also an interesting connection between Elizant II and Leif I’d be interested in seeing more. Leif’s out of his time but holds memories of Elizant I. Elizant II is a more direct connection he’s otherwise lacking and it’s nice to see how his opinion of her shifts and grows as she grows.

--

The Legend of Heroes

DNW: NSFW, non-con, dub-con, underage relationships, unrequested ships, infidelity, explicit gore, modern AUs (college, high school, coffee shop etc), spoilers for Hajimari or Kuro, Agate/Tita, Olivier/Schera, non-canonical permanent character death

Trails in the Sky

Estelle Bright

Cassius Bright

Lena Bright

Kloe Rinz

Alicia von Auslese

Celeste D. Auslese

Olivier Lenheim

Mueller Vander

Ragnard

Any combination of any of these characters could lead to interesting things. Some combo ideas:

In Phantasma, Kloe and Celeste talk... Estelle, Olivier or Mueller could be interesting too though... Or simply more about Celeste and the Hermit's Garden by herself.

Bright family time will always be welcome. And more love for Lena. Kloe and Estelle sister/best friend time.

Kloe and Olivier have a lot of potential for interesting interaction in how they parallel each other but are so wildly different at the same time. Kloe and Alicia family time!

Olivier & Cassius: I’m just really interested to see more interaction between these two whether while they’re still planning or something before Olivier goes back to Erebonia after Sky SC. Cassius can’t help himself when it comes to giving advice…

Olivier & Alicia: Royalty matters, knowing who Olivier actually is. Last meetings before he goes back to Erebonia?

Olivier&/Mueller stuff is all good

Ragnard: cool dragon is cool. Either something about him individually in the past? Or what he's up to now? A look at interaction between him and Cassius? Ragnard and Auslese (any of them)...?

Crossbell

Lloyd Bannings

Randy Orlando

Tio Plato

Elie MacDowell

KeA Bannings

Alex Dudley

Zeit

Sergei Lou

No ships here please.

Bonding and found family is the name of the game here! Tio and Zeit spending time together. Lloyd and Randy having bro time or Lloyd trying to remind Randy that he does indeed belong with SSS. KeA and “Uncle” Sergei time! What might they do together, or what does KeA get Sergei to do with her? Lloyd and KeA spending time together, Lloyd spoiling KeA, KeA being a comfort to Lloyd. KeA turning on the charm on Dudley. Dudley and Sergei interaction. Any combination of any of the SSS related characters is great if you want a bigger SSS gathering. I love them all.

Anything exploring KeA's powers is very cool too.

Trails of Cold Steel

Alfin Reise Arnor

Priscilla Reise Arnor

Olivier Leheim | Olivert Reise Arnor

Mueller Vander

Valimar

Mint

Alfin, Olivier, Priscilla: The Arnors have it rough dammit. Some soft moment for any combo of these three? Reunions after Olivier comes back and isn’t dead? We were deprived! Entertaining sibling times. A Priscilla bonding moment with Olivier when he was still getting used to living in the palace. And of course individually they’re interesting in their own roles and I’m always down for more.

Mueller: Of course anything with Olivier is good in my books. I’m running under the assumption that since he shows up with Olivier in the triumphant not-dead return, that he wound up at Valleria while Olivier recovered and I would be very soft for any moment taking placing during that time period. But when it comes to those two sky’s the limit. I’m good with platonic or ship. Mueller having some interaction with either Priscilla or Alfin would be great too!

Valimar: Given his history and knowledge it’d be interesting to see a conversation with Olivier or Alfin given also their family name Cedric’s positioning and, well, all the history there. Alternatively I love his interactions with Mint and how respectful of her he is, so anything between those two yes please. Or just something exploring him by himself in some way would be cool too.

Mint: I’m particularly interested in her during CS III and IV times and with Valimar as above. However, any Mint shenanigans is a fun time. She’s doing her best!

[tundrainafrica]

Somewhere Between Life and Death (Chapter 7)

Summary: Dia de los Muertos isn’t the only day the dead can visit the living. Miguel is reunited with Hector, Imelda and his other relatives from the other side but in one of the worst ways possible and he finds himself caught in a struggle between life and death.

Note: Reposted from ao3 and fanfic, same name, same author. I just needed to post some coco content I made on my own on Tumblr because  I will definitely not be able to contribute in the arts side.Post canon, sickfic, expect hurt comfort, loads of angst, kidnappings. Miguel has a very long and very fatal near death experience basically.

You can follow this fic on tumblr under the tag TundrainAfrica

Link to: Chapter 1- Chapter 2- Chapter 3-Chapter 4-Chapter 5-Chapter 6

Chapter 7: Crossings

Maybe it was because of the shock. Maybe it was because of the pain. Maybe it was because of the disappointment.

He couldn't tell exactly why but as he listened to Hector and Imelda stories about their everyday life in the Land of the Dead, he knew he wasn't feeling as excited or interested as he had expected to be when he did finally meet them again.

He had dreamt of seeing Hector, Imelda, Mama Coco and everyone else for a long time and silently scolded himself for not being genuinely interested when Imelda told him about how everyone requested Hector played Remember Me during that years sunrise spectacular, how they had stolen to some private space and Hector played it for his daughter Coco instead. He felt guilty for not feeling relieved when they told him that Mama Coco was doing fine and she was actually very happy being able to once again dance after having spent years in a wheelchair and more years, hiding the urge to dance from her family.

Maybe if he was a bit more into the conversation he would have asked questions like why Mama Coco wasn't there as well or what they were doing there in the first place. His replies to their many stories though felt and sounded automatic. The laugh he made when Imelda told Miguel  about when they performed together in the plaza was robotic, even when she told him about Tia Victoria who had tried to dance along but having grown up with no music and sense of rhythm had spectacularly failed or about the crash course on dancing Mama Coco had given Tia Victoria during the Sunrise Spectacular.

Imelda and Hector had noticed that he wasn't as excited to see them and Miguel knew that. He wasn't asking the questions he himself  thought he would have asked if he saw them again. They had asked him about his life, how was the family, how was everyone coping with the lifting of the music ban, more importantly, how was everyone after Mama Coco died. He had tried his best to sound enthusiastic but in the end, his replies  were one worded and half hearted. They had tried to ask follow up questions but his lack  of enthusiasm had become infectious.

His ancestors had subdued their gestures and tones. There was a point where Hector was talking about how he had given Coco the biggest hug when she finally arrived in the land of the dead. Miguel had expected him to hold his hands outstretched but he had limited himself to moving his hands in tune with his words. What made him feel a little worse was the gradual yet apparent loss of enthusiasm in his voice. Imelda as well had refrained from holding Miguel and the latter could see it in the way that every now and then she would put her hands in front of him as if she wanted to place them on his shoulders or his head only to pull back as if she sensed the discomfort and the tension and realized it.

Miguel had noticed those small movements and knew he had to brush away his discomfort, ask questions, cherish this time he had with them but how he felt wasn't something he could easily brush away, it felt like an elephant in the room that has been there from the start, impossible to kick out.

There was one way though. It took Miguel a few minutes and some more time half heartedly listening to Hector's stories to realize that there was one question that he wanted to ask. It may kick the elephant out but it felt risky.

Why can't you take me now? He really wanted to ask. It sounded inappropriate though. He remembered the week after Mama Coco had just died. He had wanted to ask Mama Elena what they were going to do with her rocking chair or her things but it sounded insensitive. That time, there was no reason to be insensitive, no one was mourning, no one was dying yet but that one question felt almost taboo.

“Miguel, you’ve been quiet.” Imelda commented. The wording may have been wrong but the timing was definitely wrong. Miguel was in the middle of ransacking his brain for the right words and dealing with the guilt of not feeling happy to see them. When Imelda had finally commented on his discomfort, the feelings he had denied since a while ago became real and Miguel felt like he was at fault, he was a bad person for not being happy to see them.

It felt like she was blaming him. It was almost instinct how his mind had decided to play victim. Hector and Imelda were selfish. They wanted him to stay, even when his life wouldn't amount to anything, when he could live his whole life only half the human he was. They wanted to deprive them of that painless nirvana in the land of the dead and were only mocking him through the stories they were telling him. You're going to have to go through hell before you get to join us.

“Hey, are you okay?” Hector asked, stopping his story midway. “I thought you’d be happy to see us.” He joked, a horrible attempt to mask his worry.

“No. I'm not.” He managed to say. For some reason, admitting just that felt even just a bit liberating but what else could he say after that?

“I know what happened is a bit stressful for you. This in between dimension is scary but this isn’t how…”Imelda had tried to put her arm around Miguel. That only helped to agitate the boy a little more.

This isn’t how it's supposed to go? This isn’t how I'm supposed to die? What was supposed to happen then? You won't help me get out of this?

Imelda’s tone was comforting, consoling. It was as if he was helpless as if there was nothing else she could do to help him. Or she didn't want to. They didn't want to.

“Do you even want to help me?” Miguel violently brushed his great great grandmother's comforting hand away from his shoulder. “All you two have been talking about since a while ago is how good you've been having it in the Land of the Dead. ��No progress. No help. You haven't even tried to get me out of this.”

“Believe me Miguel. We’re trying. It’s not as easy as---” She pressed.

“Take me back to the land of the dead.  I don't wanna go back to Santa Cecilia… I want to die.”

Imelda instinctively widened her eyes surprised  then narrowed her eyes soon after. In most cases, he would have cowered at seeing his great great grandmother narrow her eyes like that. With his whole body shaking in anger, all it was doing was making him more angry. She looked accusing as if it was his fault he didn't want to go back.  She looked like she was going to disagree with him, maybe even gang up on him with Hector. “Do you understand what you're saying?”

“Hey hey… Mijo… what are you thinking? You said it during Dia de los Muertos that you wanted to be a musician and perform in many places. You can't do it dead.” Hector said, straining to keep his tone lively. He handed the guitar to Miguel.

“I can be a musician in the land of the dead. I don't have to do it in Santa Cecilia. No body to limit me, I won't be tired, I won't need to sleep, go to the bathroom. I'll just be playing music.” Miguel explained as he grabbed the guitar and played a few random tabs for emphasis.

Hector flinched and Miguel realized that he had plucked the strings on the guitar too hard.

“Miguel… Dying and being in the land of the dead isn't just playing music all the day long. You lose things when you cross. When you go there, there's no turning back.” Hector explained patiently. “There are people you'll leave behind, opportunities you could have had. Also It's not like this is a once in a lifetime choice. Eventually you're all going to end up in the land of the dead anyway. You should enjoy your life on earth for what it is first.”

“How can you enjoy life stuck in a body that needs to eat, sleep. That gets sick, feels pain…” Miguel argued. “When you're in the land of the dead, you never get sick… when you fall, you can get back together within seconds.

“Because life isn’t all about that mijo, there are experienced, challenges, there are people to meet, a family to live for. Your parents must be worried about you. Baby Coco is going to need her big brother.” Imelda added. She put her hands on Miguel's shoulders.

I survived without a big brother. Miguel thought  to himself as he twisted away from Imelda’s grip. Coco had Prima Abel, prima Rosa, Benny and Manny. She had a mother and a father. What would one less brother do?. “Mama and papa can always make another child if they're feeling lonely. It's not too hard.” Miguel echoed Rodrigo’s words.  He looked at Mama Imelda as he said it. He watched as her jaws dropped. She looked like she was just punched in the face.

Hector was the one who went in between them with that comment. “I can't believe I'm hearing this from you. Only a few months ago, you wrote a song about how much you love your family and now you're comparing having a child to working some sort of factory job?”

“What do you know?” Don't tell me you believed that when you're the one who left your family just like that. He wanted to add but he stopped himself at the last minute.

“Making and raising a child is not at all like making another pair of shoes!” He said without stopping to acknowledge  Miguel's question.Hector had bent over as if he wanted to listen closely to whatever explanation,  Miguel had about how he felt that way. Miguel did not see good intentions though. At that moment, the bending of his body and the fact that he had slowed his speech down, felt almost demeaning and Miguel's anger only grew.   They're thinking I'm  stupid. They wouldn't listen to me because to them, I'm  a kid, I don't know better. It wasn't anything new. Prima Abel and Prima Rosa were the same when he was growing up. They always made fun of him for being slow when they played in the forest. When they started working in the shoe shop, they thought they were better and smarter, demeaning him for being too young to work in the workshop. As he thought about it, he realized that his cousins were only the tip of the iceberg. His parents had kept him out of many conversations because they were having “adult talks.” For a long time, his family had scolded him for hanging out in the mariachi plaza or even just listening to simple music maybe because they were smarter, naturally better people and according to them, he didn't know better. The worst though was the way his parents had stood in silence, no, his whole family had stood in silence as he was shamed by his abuelita and she had destroyed the guitar that he spent months putting together. Things had gotten better since the music ban but his heart still  ached as he recalled that last scene and it only fed the anger inside him. Why would he want to go back to a family like that, a family who destroyed things he worked hard to create, a family who watched silently as he was tormented?  He almost felt stupid for writing a love song for a family like that, what was he thinking. Papa Hector was no better or he may have even been worse. He was getting mad at Miguel for treating his family like that yet, long ago he had the gall to leave his own family. The hypocrisy of it all only fueled the anger inside him.

That one comment which he had stopped himself from saying was at the tip of his tongue and before he could stop himself, he had blurted it out.“What do you know about raising children? You didn't even raise your own!”

“Miguel!” Imelda’s voice rang out and Miguel jumped in surprise. That was the first time he had heard her voice like that, a distinct mix of hurt, stress, anger and surprise.

Miguel was trembling in anger. He watched Hector's face change from one for anger to shame. If he wasn't a skeleton, Miguel could have sworn he would have seen tears in his eyes.

“You’re right, I don't know anything about raising children. Coco was very young when I left, I didn't see her grow up, wasn't with her when she turned 15, when she got married.I tried to go home but ended up trapped in the land of the dead against my will. I was alone. I missed my wife, I missed my daughter. I was wandering while my family must have thought I abandoned them. You know , compared to me, you have a choice. A choice I was never given. You have a choice not to wander through the streets in the land of the dead like I did, a choice to be with your family, the people you love and you're taking it for granted because you don't want to live within the limits of a life and a body. When I first died. The last thing I was thinking about was how good it felt to not get sick. That's nothing Miguel. I can't even describe how much I regretted even leaving in the first place, how lonely I felt. How the regret, sadness---”Hector stopped, as if he ran out of words. I don't know how it feels to raise a child but I know how painful it is to abandon  and to be abandoned by your family… That’s why, I may not know how it feels to raise a child and for the longest time, I may have known how it felt to have a family but I’ve experienced enough to know what you’re thinking is wrong. Hate me if you want Miguel but I won’t take you back.” Hector looked like he wanted to say more but stopped himself. “I need some time to think.” He walked out of the room, dragging his legs as if they were weights

Imelda followed him silently with her gaze before looking back at Miguel, her face a mixture of hurt and anger. “Say what you want, I won’t take you back either.  You have no idea what you’re asking for mijo.”

“He’s right. You guys are selfish. You don’t know how it feels to be lying there in a hospital bed, not being able to breathe, to move. I haven’t felt this good in so long and you want to take that away from me?” As he imagined what he said, he couldn’t help but feel more adamant about returning to his body. He felt good, he could move freely, play the guitar, talk without running out of breath, without feeling a pounding pain but it’s going to all change if he goes back. He’s going to be in pain. Why would anyone make a decision to hurt themselves? It just wasn’t natural.

“Because they want someone else to be happy. Humans do this for the people they love all the time mijo.”

Miguel looked up in surprise when he realized he had accidentally said his thoughts out loud.

“Why do you think mothers give birth? Why do you think I gave up music?” Why do---”

As his family started to gang up on him though, he knew he had to be strong for himself  “Well when you banned music, it didn’t just hurt yourself. You hurt me and Mama Coco too. How can you say you did it for love, when your decision just hurt us anyway?”

Miguel had looked away even before he finished his sentence. There was a part of him screaming at the back of his mind as he fought with his great great grandparents, telling him to apologize, to listen and then and there that part was taking over. He didn’t think it was possible but he felt a quiver in his lips, a sign of vulnerability and that wasn’t something he wanted to show. That might even spell the difference between them forcing him back into his body or not. He ran out of the room.

Rodrigo, wherever you are, please help me. I don’t wanna go back. He had said that last part with so much conviction. Maybe, he was trying to convince himself that he did not want to go back. He brushed that thought away and focused on the task at hand. He had to find Rodrigo. He remembered that Hector had left and might still be around. He still found himself running carelessly in the hallways, a part of him hoping Hector would run into him and talk him out of it. He didn’t run into him. He didn’t even remember his Mama Imelda calling out to him as he ran out of the room. Those two things he noted, only gave him motivation to run faster. Maybe it was out of spite. Maybe it was determination to still run into Hector.

He continued running, the hospital doors started to go by faster and faster. He went down a few stairs and up a few. How do I cross? Miguel was utterly lost. The word echoed inside his head and that reminded him. He had ran too fast that it was only after running countless corridors and staircases did he realize he had lost his guitar too. He must have dropped it somewhere.

He slowed down, ready to retrace his steps only to be pulled into one of the many rooms by something or someone.

“I was worried about you.”

It wasn’t Hector’s voice.

“You just disappeared and I woke up…” Miguel said, as his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room.

He could make out the familiar shape of the Rodrigo’s head and the tiny movement of its contours as he shook his head.

“Thank god you’re safe though. I thought you would have fallen for an illusion.”

“Illusion?” Miguel frowned. The only notable thing he had seen was Papa Hector and Mama Imelda.  Meeting those two had looked real. The music Hector played sounded real. The guitar he had plucked had felt real.

“I didn’t mean to leave you alone but I ended up caught in my own illusion as well. This dimension between life and death is dangerous.”

“Wait, how is it dangerous?” Miguel asked. He had imagined monsters and rogue alebrijes when Rodrigo said the word dangerous. As he recalled his whole experience though, he knew he didn’t see any.

Rodrigo shook his head. “You know, the most dangerous things are the ones that don’t even look dangerous. I don’t want you falling for anything so I’ll tell you now. There are people who embrace death and there are people who embrace life. The unlucky souls who want to go back to their body and continuing living their life, even when their body is to sick, reject death’s invitation. They become angry spirits, go insane from trying to hold on to their body, to their life. They get jealous of those who can still go back to their body and those who can still cross after missing their own chance and create illusions to keep them here in this in between because you know, misery loves company. Unless they’ve been here for a long time like me, people tend to fall for these many illusions.”

That’s what it was… Miguel thought to himself. They had wanted him to stay, made him feel guilty for wanting to leave and for a while it had worked. He shivered as he remembered how realistic that illusion was and silently thanked his own pride and convictions for giving himself the courage to reject it.   Of course, the real Mama Imelda and Papa Hector would have gladly welcomed me to the Land of the Dead.

“Don’t worry, usually someone  from the land of the dead is sent here to guide the lost spirits.”

“Like an alebrije?” Miguel remembered Dante and only then did he realized how much he missed Dante and how much he needed him then and there.

“Alebrijes can’t enter this in between, but you can say they’re something like that… In America, they’re called the Grim reaper. In Mexico, they’re called Santa Muerte. Universally, they’re called Death. It’s the same job, they’re assigned to an area where lost spirits usually sprout up, war zones, car pile ups, hospitals and make sure the souls are able to cross safely. Funny though, the one here disappeared a few days ago.  We got along well, he wasn’t authorized to let me cross but he said he’d keep me company until I can.”

“Wait, so how can we cross without him? ”

“The truth is,  I knew how to cross. I just needed to find the right companion.”  He held Miguel’s hands in between his. “Close your eyes. Are you ready?”

“Wait, what do you mean right companion?” Miguel asked. If he knew death, he must have met many other people who could have crossed with him. Why did he need Miguel in particular?

“I’ll explain everything once we cross. Trust me Miguel. I just want what’s best for you. I mean, what’s better than the painless embrace of death?”

Anything could sound good with the right tone. Even something as ominous as death could sound good with the a combination of the right choice of words and tones. With how Rodrigo said it, his former notions about death, the commitment, the loss, the goodbye was completely gone and all he could see was the painlessness, the embrace and the liberation.

“I’ll ask you again. Are you ready to cross?”

Crossing meant he won’t end up a lost soul. Crossing meant no more pain, Crossing meant understanding everything.  

Crossing was good.

“I'm ready.”

[maychorian]

Weekly Voltron Fic Recs #18

Rules: You can find past rec lists here. This is stuff I like, and I have a huge bias toward Lance, hurt/comfort, and general fluff, in that order. Gen unless otherwise noted. Please comment on the fics if you read and enjoy them!

Day 2: Home by genocidalCatgal Words: 1,440 Author's Summary: Blue is the best thing that has ever happened to Lance. My Comments: Suuppper cute bonding fic with Lance and Blue, early in their relationship. I love this emotional boy his giant robot cat. Also, very cool stuff about the past blue paladin.

Parasite Knight by VelkynKarma Words: 42,721 (WIP 7/14 AND UPDATING ALMOST DAILY) Author's Summary: “You may refuse all you like, Champion, but I have found the one thing in the universe that can be absolutely counted on is that everything that exists desires to survive. Even you. Perhaps especially you.”Something’s not right with Shiro, but it may go far deeper than anybody anticipated. My Comments: Holy crap on a cracker, this fic is EVERYTHING. It’s hurt/comfort and sickfic and team bonding and we’re only halfway through and it is SO incredible already. The insights into just everybody are amazing, and everyone has an important role in tackling this seemingly insurmountable problem. Hurry, hurry, read it now so you can catch every update as they come out. This fic is making the wait for Season 2 bearable.

Stoplight by acryology Words: 1,674 Author's Summary: When Coran and Allura learn about the game of "Red Light, Green Light" from the paladins, they all decide to play a few rounds as a "training exercise". My Comments: Cute team bonding!

all alone, all together by seules Words: 1,516 Author's Summary: This is bigger than anything he ever imagined. Lance knows the world’s balls deep shitty, so it’s not much of a stretch for the universe to take a crap and coat itself in it, only in a much larger scale. But it’s different when you’re told that the universe as you know it is about to be completely taken over by a tyrannical, fascist madman (surprise, surprise) and Obi-Lance Kenobi, you’re 1/5 of the universe’s only hope! My Comments: Aww, Lance and Allura bonding! I’m astounded that mine is the only comment on this fic. Please read it and encourage the writer.

The Ones We Leave Behind by psiten Words: 2,894 Author's Summary: In between all the bleeding and fighting, time for reading and writing. "Hey..." The unmistakable sound of a thought appearing in Lance's brain, like the proximity of magnetic force summoning an electric charge out of nothingness. "Wait a second, Pidge... your human name was Katie Holt, right?" "Um. My birth name was Katie, or Katherine anyway. I never stopped being human, thanks." Originally written for the PROJECT: PALadins gen zine (December 2016). My Comments: This fic was absolutely worth paying money for, but if you couldn’t afford it, lucky for you it’s available now!

A Little Unsteady (Hold Onto Me) by DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee Words: 13,385 Author's Summary: Takashi Shirogane is nine years old when he holds his brother for the first time. “I’m here,” he’d whispered to his fussing baby brother, “I’m here, I’m here, I’m here.” And Keith stopped crying. He didn’t laugh; he looked up at Shiro with big, skeptical eyes. A challenge. Like this tiny person was saying ‘oh yeah, prove it’. And Shiro, newly nine years old, promised that he’d prove it. Shiro and Keith's childhood in moments. My Comments: Modern setting AU, but with a few tweaks I could absolutely see this working in canon-verse. It’s incredibly touching and well-written, and Shiro’s development from reluctant child to fiercely protective big brother was beautiful to watch. Both boys went through a lot of heartache, but by the end they’re together, and you know they’re going to be okay.

accidental by EmmaLuLuChu Words: 2,768 Author's Summary: one word prompt from a writing sprint in which a thing happens and it is Rough. My Comments: This is angsty but somehow hopeful at the same time. The team will not give up on Shiro. Ever.

this decay, this hope, this mouthful of dirt by lacking Words: 9,490 Author's Summary: Sendak steps closer and Shiro thinks about statistics —the insurmountable odds against Sendak being discovered in the void of space, the passing ship being Galra and not some scavenger. Pidge or Hunk could probably devise some kind of equation to highlight the absurdity of it, lay out in a spectacular display of numbers just how bad Shiro’s luck really is. Or: captured by the Galra and awaiting rescue, Shiro's forced to confront who he was, how he's changed, and what that means about the person he's become. My Comments: This one is stunning. The non-linear storyline really enhanced the confusion and incoherence in Shiro’s mindscape, and all of the memories and present scenes were well-woven and important. Especially loved the bits with the paladins together, and the ending was perfect. 

So Small and Significant by Hedgi for Meriadoc Words: 2,275 Author's Summary: With everyone scattered, Shiro has to chose who to go after first, and it isn't much of a choice. He promised himself weeks ago not to fail the Holts again. He may have to go farther than he thought to keep that promise. My Comments: Shiro’s unthinking protectiveness of Pidge is absolutely in character, and their interaction was lovely. 

Surely Someday by 15Strawberries for buttered_onions Words: 3,437 Author's Summary: Lance and Hunk have a tradition. Every day after class, they find an empty classroom to jam in, to unwind from the stress of the day. It grows from there. My Comments: Adorable college/jazz band AU. I love how the group grew and developed and came to depend on each other, and the ending was absolutely heartwarming. It reminded me of my own college experience in a music program, and that’s not a bad thing at all. 

Sorry, Who Are You? by squirenonny for Piper Words: 5,643 Author's Summary: When Keith was seven years old, he spent a year in La Quinta with a boy named Lance, the best friend he ever had. Ten years later, Lance and Keith reunite at the Garrison--only Keith doesn't remember who Lance is. My Comments: Mild Klance. I like the way this deepens canon, giving Lance a real reason for being upset with Keith from the beginning, though Keith’s forgetting is understandable, too, considering his life. The ending was sweet and satisfying.

Save The Date by buttered_onions Words: 1,979 Author's Summary: Homesickness in space is no joke, and Lance isn’t the only one who needs cheering up. Luckily, Hunk’s got a Plan. …assuming he can get it to work. My Comments: This is absolutely precious. Everyone gets lifted up, in typical Hunk style, and he gets a turn, too. I especially loved the continuing saga of Coran’s birthday tootle.

boredom is cruel and unusual punishment by babitty Words: 3,183 Author's Summary: 3000 words of Lance getting the shit beat out of him, because i needed to get some angst out of my system. it's not very graphic but injuries are listed and batons are used. My Comments: This is an old-fashioned whump fic, where the point is very much Lance (and Keith to a lesser extent) getting beat up. But there’s a lot of courage and tenacity on display here, and they do very much feel like themselves. An enjoyable fic, if you’re in the mood for hurt with not a lot of comfort.

Let Him Rest by jadencross Words: 960 Author's Summary: Coran does so much for the team. And Keith thinks that it’s time he did something for his crazy space uncle. My Comments: Ah, and this is pretty much the opposite of the last rec, haha. Love Keith being the very definition of Aggressively Cares About You, and Coran needs a lot more love. Sweet fic.

strength of the small by nowweareunstoppable Words: 12,736 Author's Summary: A false distress signal lands the paladins in a tough situation. It falls to Pidge to earn their freedom, and it doesn't come without a dangerous cost. My Comments: This fic is AMAZING. Pidge is an absolute badass, smart and strong and extremely well-characterized. The frantic run afterward to get her to help was intense and wrenching, too. And Lance was especially wonderful. You can feel his desperation, how deeply he loves Pidge and needs her to be okay, because she’s his little sister now and he CANNOT lose his family. Ahhh, I loved this one to bits. Highly recommended.

Previously Recced Fics That Updated This Week:

When Rome's in Ruins by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) The Final Act of Mercy by ptw30 bombs and bullets by ashinan Where No One Goes by earthstar The Lightning Strike by Merilindir Beast You've Made of Me by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) He Sleeps in the Sky of Ice by jadencross Coming Undone by Emerald_Ashes Someplace Like Home by squirenonny Road Trip to End Times by VelkynKarma