#now this is a character i'd bankrupt myself for

[chiyune]

whoa my hand slipped what happened

[dorothylarouge]

Comic Book Review: Runaways by Rainbow Rowell

Hello, all. Today I will be taking some time to discuss a comic book I enjoy. This is the first in what will hopefully become a series of long-form comic book reviews I'll be writing for this blog as I continue working through my backlog of unread comics as well as ones I'm rereading, both on my own and through me and @bimboficationblues' book club.

I first read the original run of Runaways in digest trade paperback format at my local library when I was in middle school, and the book hit me at the exact right time, since I was pretty firmly the book's target demographic - young, restless, and beginning to grow resentful of the adult authorities in my life. I never read the 2017 revival, as I was not reading comics when I was in high school and college, but I was at my local library - a different one, I don't live in Texas anymore - while waiting for the power in my apartment to come back on due to an outage, and discovered that they carried the full series in trade paperback. I decided to check it out and see how it held up to the original run, and found myself pleasantly surprised by how much I liked it - enough, clearly, to make this post. I'll get into more detail about the 2017 book later in this post, but I'd like to first give an overview of the original series to provide some context for how this book came to be, since it's quite a niche, cult-classic book as far as Marvel titles go.

Part One: Born to Run

At the turn of the century, comic books faced a number of problems. The bottom had fallen out of the industry in the early 1990s due to the burst of the speculator bubble, sending shockwaves that continued to reverberate into the early 2000s. Marvel Comics had nearly been bankrupted and stripped for parts, surviving only by the skin of its teeth, and was only just getting back on its feet. But now, another threat was looming: anime and manga. Imported comics from Japan were beginning to capture a larger and larger market share of comics sold in the United States, fueled by the popularity of Dragon Ball, Sailor Moon, and others on television. Marvel sought to fight back by producing books which would appeal to young fans of these Japanese imports and act as gateway drugs into more standard Marvel fare. Their first effort came in 2000 with the utterly embarrassing Marvel Mangaverse, a group of books which copied superficial and stereotypical aesthetics of manga, without any of the substance.

Just look at this shit, man. Anyway, in 2003, Marvel tried a different approach with their Tsunami imprint. The books in this imprint would also employ art styles that reflected the influence of anime and manga, but would feature character-driven, in-continuity storylines aimed at a variety of age ranges. Among the titles Tsunami would publish was a book written by Brian K. Vaughn (known at the time mainly for his work at DC's Vertigo imprint, including a run on Swamp Thing and his own Y: The Last Man) and illustrated by Adrian Alphona (who would go on to co-develop Kamala Khan with G. Willow Wilson) titled Runaways.

The initial premise of Runaways was really quite brilliant in its simplicity: Alex Wilder, Nico Minoru, Chase Stein, Gertrude Yorkes, Molly Hayes, and Karolina Dean are casual friends bound together mainly because their parents are all friends - actors, engineers, lawyers, and influential people in the Los Angeles area - who gather once a year for a charity event.

As the kids are left bored and alone while their parents meet at Alex's house in Malibu, they find a secret passage and are able to observe their parents at the meeting, learning that, in truth, their parents are a group of supervillains known as the Pride, who control crime and vice in Los Angeles, and who conduct human sacrifices in arcane rituals.

As the kids attempt to discover more about their parents in order to find evidence to bring to the police, they each begin to discover unique powers and abilities: Gertrude has a psychic link with a genetically-engineered deinonychus, Karolina is a light-powered alien with the ability to fly, Molly is a super-strong, super-tough mutant, Chase gains access to powerful technology created by his parents, and Nico is able to summon a magical focus known as the Staff of One when she bleeds, which she can use to cast powerful magical spells, with the catch that she can never cast the same spell twice. Alex, with a genius strategic mind, becomes the group's leader, and with the group learning that the police in LA belong to the Pride, they run away from home and drop off the grid in order to find a way to put a stop to them.

The first volume of Runaways chronicles the kids' conflict with their parents, as well as run-ins with a vampire named Topher and Marvel's original runaway teen superheroes, Cloak and Dagger. Eventually, they learn that their parents were gathered to serve godlike giants called the Gibborim and conduct a ritual which would wipe out all life on Earth, save for six of the Pride - or more specifically, their heirs, the children. The volume ends with the team's climactic confrontation with their parents, as they begin the ritual to end the world, with Alex revealing himself to be a mole in the group and having secretly been on the side of the Pride all along. After Molly disrupts the ritual, the Gibborim arrive and vaporize Alex and kill the Pride, with the kids barely managing to escape. In the aftermath, the kids are placed into foster care, which they promptly run away from, becoming teenage fugitives once again.

The first volume of Runaways lasted only 18 issues, but sales of the digest format trade paperbacks (another thing copied from how manga is distributed in the US) proved so strong that a second volume began publication in 2005, featuring the same creative team. This volume saw the kids continue to evade the police, adult superheroes, and social services. Along the way, they recruit a few new runaways, including Victor Mancha, a cyborg built by the Avengers villain Ultron, and Xavin, a shapeshifting, genderfluid Skrull who imposes themself upon the group as Karolina's fiancee due to a marriage arranged by her parents. They also take a trip to New York City to help clear Cloak's name when he's accused of attempting to murder Dagger. There, they come into conflict with the Avengers, and get sushi with Spider-Man.

Over the course of the second volume, Gertrude is killed in a fight with a reformed Pride made up of a time-displaced version of Alex's father and his MMO friends, and Vaughn's run on the title ends with a story in which Chase, who is grief-stricken after her death, makes a deal with the Gibborim in order to bring her back in exchange for a sacrifice. The deal falls through, and the kids are forced to fight the gods that their parents once served, ultimately managing to defeat and erase the Gibborim from existence.

After Vaughn left the book, unfortunately, Runaways started a long period of decline. He was replaced as writer on the book by Joss Whedon, who penned a couple middling stories, including one where the kids fight the Punisher and the Kingpin, and another where they're flung back in time to 1907 New York, where they recruit the final member of the team, a young mutant and child bride named Klara Prast who can make the flowers grow. Yawn. Volume 2 of Runaways ended with issue 30, and the book was relaunched with a new #1 in 2008, this time with the creative team of Terry Moore (best known for his indie book Strangers in Paradise) and Humberto Ramos (a veritable workhorse whose portfolio speaks for itself, particularly his work on Spider-Man). This brief, forgettable run was followed by a fill-in issue or two by Christopher Yost, and then a final, mediocre arc by Kathryn Immonen which ended the series abruptly on a cliffhanger.

After this, the wilderness years. Characters from Runaways appeared with some regularity - Nico, Chase, and Victor all played major roles in various Avengers spinoff books, none of which suited them particularly well - although in the pages of Avengers AI, Victor would forge a friendship with a reprogrammed Doombot which would play a role later. Mostly, though, it became clear over the years that these characters did not work in normal superhero books, because they were not normal superheroes - they were Runaways. Part of the problem the book had come to face in the later years was a failure to understand that point. The Vaughn run had proven the potential of the characters and concept of the Runaways - they needed a writer who understood that potential, and how to bring it out - and they could have a renaissance.

Then, in 2017, a Runaways TV show premiered on Hulu, to tie into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and Marvel, for the most cynical and synergistic of reasons, decided to give them that renaissance.

Part Two: It's Only Teenage Wasteland

Runaways volume 5 (volume 4 was an unrelated Secret Wars tie-in) is written throughought by Rainbow Rowell. Rowell's background is in contemporary young adult fiction, which isn't usually my cup of tea, but translates very well to this comic. Runaways, at its core, is not a superhero book- a point which will be made more explicitly later in the series - it is a teen drama with superpowers. Angst, sexual tension, and resentment of authority are all key elements of the series, which Rowell employs effectively throughout. Joining her on art for the initial run of the volume is Kris Anka, who would later go on to be the lead character designer for Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. Anka's art is colorful and expressive and complements the tone of the series brilliantly. It's probably the best Runaways has ever looked. Of particular note are the outfits Anka designs for the characters, which change from issue to issue and help to characterize each Runaway visually.

The book picks up with the Runaways having split up, with Molly living with her grandmother, Victor having been reduced to an inert, deactivated head following his apparent death in Avengers AI, Karolina in college and dating Julie Power of Power Pack, Klara in foster care, Xavin in space, and Nico in a shitty LA apartment after a brief stint with the all-female A-Force. The inciting incident of the book occurs when Chase appears with a time machine, having recovered the dying Gert from the events of volume 2. Nico is able to use her magic to save Gert's life, and she wastes little time pushing to get the rest of the gang back together.

Of course, two years have passed since Gert died in-universe. Karolina, Nico, and Chase are all adults now, and Molly is a teenager now, happily living with her grandmother. Things changed while Gert was away, and there's no way to go back to the way things used to be.

The first arc of the book establishes some core themes which will continue to be relevant for the rest of its run: change, growing up, and family bonds. Gert is the heart of the book, despite her vociferous denials of that being her role. She is the driving force behind reuniting the Runaways, and her character is explored in this book more than it ever was in the Vaughn run - her negative self-image, which she hides behind an acid tongue, is a recurring focus. Of note is a scene where she discovers that her purple hair, which had previously set her apart and helped her to feel as if there was something special about her, has become a common fashion statement in the time she spent being dead. Her relationship with Chase is also examined - the age gap that now exists between them precludes any resumption of dating, and she eventually gets together with Victor - but Chase still loves her despite himself, and holds out hope that things can change when Gert gets older and the age gap is less of an issue. It's a little creepy, but psychologically understandable, as is his giving into temptation when a future version of Gert appears and practically throws herself at him.

Rowell's focus on character is central to what makes the book work. There are few titanic threats and fewer supervillains; the drama in Rowell's Runaways is driven by the characters and their relationships to one another, which are given a fresh perspective due to the characters having aged and grown since the previous volume of the series. Molly struggles with the idea of growing up and having to face adult fears and responsibilities, especially when her best friend in middle school offers her a way to stay young forever. Nico struggles with the feelings she's realized for Karolina - picking back up a plot thread from Xavin's introductory arc - as Karolina struggles balancing university, supporting the Runaways, and being a good girlfriend, failing at the latter as Julie breaks up with her - but in the process allowing her and Nico to finally have the right timing.

Also complicating matters are Victor's Doombot friend, who becomes a recurring character and joins the main cast in the back half of the series, and Alex Wilder, who has returned as a living corpse, with the children of the Gibborim on his heels. Rowell's portrayal of Alex is one of the series' most interesting aspects, as a young man burdened by his past mistakes and whose inability to acknowledge or account for them prevents any reconciliation with his one-time friends, and leads him to continue making the same mistakes over again. The only bond with the group he is able to maintain is with Molly, the only other Runaway who still misses her parents, and they have some very sweet interactions in a spotlight issue which serves as a look at what things could be like if Alex was willing to own up and atone for how he's hurt the others. His arc is left unresolved, though, for reasons we'll get more into in a bit. Doombot, meanwhile, has a brief storyline in which he comes to grips with his sense of individuality separate from the programming he was given by Doctor Doom, but other than that his primary role in the series is to serve as a caretaker, of sorts, to the kids, as well as a source of consistent comic relief.

That's another thing about this series: it's very funny! Much of the humor is character- and interaction-based, which is very much my style of humor in comics, but there's also some really nice sight gags and creative use of lettering and sound effects to create jokes. A lot of the humor in the original series can be hit-or-miss, in particular a lot of the more dated references, so the humor in this volume is a refreshing change of pace.

Following the fight with the children of the Gibborim - one of whom, Gib, sides with the group and becomes their newest member - the series enters its midpoint, in which Karolina drops out of college and begins moonlighting as a superhero as an unhealthy outlet for her anxiety, which ultimately ends up dragging the other Runaways into the orbit of Doc Justice, one of Los Angeles' premier superheroes, who outfits and equips the group as his new J-Team. I'm conflicted on this arc for a few reasons. The first is that it interrupts what I felt was an interesting arc for Karolina using superheroics as a coping mechanism, which I felt wasn't explored fully before Doc Justice showed up. On the other hand, though, the arc really gives Gert the spotlight after some time of having it off of her, and she's really able to shine as the one Runaway excluded by Doc Justice due to her weight and lack of powers, both key elements of her own negative self-image which haven't gotten a lot of focus since the early arcs of the series. Further, the arc serves to drive home the point that the Runaways are not superheroes and that Runaways is not a superhero book in the traditional sense. Seeing everyone in spandex and responding to distress calls just feels wrong. And Doc Justice is a great villain for the series: a conceited superhero obsessed with fame and media attention, who has systematically arranged the deaths of various teammates over the years in order to maximize sympathy and publicity. It's all very Hollywood. The ultimate downside of the Doc Justice arc, I think, is that after it's done, the series only has seven issues left. The eternal curse of Runaways, to have each volume cut too short, rears its head once again, and in using one of its final arcs to make a meta-commentary on the series as a whole, it sacrifices some opportunities for the character interactions and interpersonal drama that really make the book shine.

The final arc makes an effort to pivot back to that interpersonal drama, including a delightfully fucked-up romance between Chase and a future version of Gert who has traveled back in time to supposedly save him from himself, which blows up as you might it imagine it would once present Gert and Victor stumble across them. There's also a plot thread of Molly, Chase, and Nico helping a visiting Wolverine and Pixie track down a mutant who sent a distress message, in which Nico very nearly kisses Pixie due to her established character flaw of getting caught up in the moment, and it seems like she and Karolina are going to have an honest conversation about it - only for the conversation to instead be about the frankly much less interesting conflict Nico has been facing about the evil sorcerer whose spirit is housed in the Staff of One, and who is taking a piece of her soul every time she casts a spell. It's a conflict that could be interesting if more focus was placed upon it, but it's the subject of one issue prior to this and the end of the series means that it ends up going nowhere beyond Nico entrusting Karolina with the staff in the end. That's a major flaw in this run, though one that isn't entirely its own fault - its abrupt end means plot threads, like future Gert's abduction of Chase, Nico's conflict with the spirit of the Staff of One, and Alex's usurpation of the Doc Justice mantle, are left hanging.

It really is unfortunate, and makes the time spent on the Doc Justice arc, which probably could have taken four issues instead of a frankly indulgent seven, feel even more egregious and unnecessary with hindsight. This series has a leisurely pace, which is good when it allows character interactions and dynamics to stretch out and have maximum impact, but it also means that at the end, when everything has to wrap up relatively quickly due to the amount of time taken in previous arcs, there's a disorienting and frantic energy, like trying to get your room cleaned five minutes before your parents get home. In particular, the last issue crams a ton of stuff in, to an exhausting degree - Karolina summons her people to take her into space and treat her for injuries she sustained in Doc Justice's efforts to martyr her, future Gert enacts her plan to kidnap Chase into the timestream, Gert's time traveling parents show up for some reason, Alex is surveilling the team for reasons unknown, Xavin is now a general of Karolina's people... it's a lot to leave on a cliffhanger.

Rowell's Runaways is a good book, and I do recommend it, either on its own or, preferably, after reading the original 2000s run. It does a great job of moving the characters forward, maturing them, and giving them more adult problems to deal with, while maintaining the series' core themes of identity, questioning authority, and anxiety towards adulthood. It simply doesn't have enough issues left at the end to resolve all of its plot threads, and that is what ultimately holds it back from being great. 38 issues is a good run, better than any volume of Runaways before it was able to achieve, but its pacing choices and the number of plates it attempts to keep in the air leave the reader wanting more.

But, to its credit, it succeeds in making me really care about what that "more" could be.

Part Three: Run Away With Me

Volume 5 of Runaways ended with issue 38, cover date October 2021. It outlasted the TV show it was meant to tie in with by two years - a TV show that was eventually pulled from streaming as a cost-cutting measure. In the years since the series concluded, not much has been happening in that corner of the Marvel Universe. The characters have made few, if any, appearances, and there's been no talk of a sixth volume, despite the plot threads left hanging.

Well, that sucks, you know? Runaways is such a unique series with such a special voice and perspective in superhero comics, and it deserves a place in Marvel's publication roster as much as the millionth Spider-Man or X-Men spinoff does. It has never sold spectacularly, but it has an audience and, crucially, has always been good for its originally intended purpose: giving Marvel a backdoor into the teen and young adult market that has for decades now largely eschewed comic books. Manga sales now account for nearly half of all comics sold in the United States, and while Marvel now mainly serves as an IP farm for adaptation into the much more lucrative MCU, I think there's value in a series like Runaways that's able to tap into that YA market in a way Marvel's other books aren't able to.

I think with the right creative team, Runaways could easily become a solid seller that is able to have a respectable run of issues. Volume 3, as well as the original Vaughn run, prove that this is possible. I would seek out a writer like Mark Waid, whose bread and butter is character work and who was able to revitalize Archie's comic line to appeal to YA readers, or Ryan North, whose Fantastic Four is one of Marvel's best titles right now primarily on the strength of its character dynamics, or David Willis of Dumbing of Age, whose work for the past decade has entirely centered on young adults finding themselves, to take over the reins of a revival, someone with established chops in the genre. Pair them with a quality artist - think Chris Samnee or Todd Nauck, and I think there's a recipe there for a hit.

I hope we see Runaways come back again, sooner rather than later. Another eight year hiatus would be unbearable.

G-d help me, I wanna see these crazy kids again, and see where the road takes them.

FINAL SCORE: 3.5/5. A good comic.

[fungifanart]

Romantically Bankrupt

Characters: Male reader, Yuu!reader, Ruggie Bucchi

CW: Blood/fatal injury, death, heavy angst/whump, hurt/no comfort, angst with a sad ending

Word count: 2.8k

Notes: Happy Pride Month, my fellow queers! Sorry it took me so long to get this done, but I promise it's worth the wait! Also, props to you if you get the reference to a certain other Ruggie fic of mine! ( @lemonchuu / @leichor pspspspspsps) ( And @nemisisnemi pull up a chair)

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Ruggie genuinely can't remember a time when he's felt happier than he does now.

Living comfortably with a stable, high-paying job at the Sunset Savanna palace, thanks to Leona.

Being able to move his grandma into a nicer, safer part of the kingdom and work with government officials to slowly but surely close the gap between the rich and the poor.

And last, but not least: Doing this and so much more with his beloved husband by his side. The man who came to this world with nothing, but still rose from the title of Janitor to the Prefect of Ramshackle dorm and then eventually to the Headmaster of NRC itself.

Y/n.

His handsome, loving Y/n.

The man whom he's sworn his heart and soul to for the rest of their lives.

The man for whom he's used all of his built-up PTO to spend a whole week with starting today, their five year anniversary.

Ruggie flops down into a chair at the kitchen table after finally finishing making his and Y/n's anniversary dinner and waits patiently for his love's return.

Fifteen minutes later, Ruggie's ears perk up at the sound of footsteps approaching and then the front door to his and Y/n's shared living space opening.

"Ruggie, I'm home! Sorry I'm late, I had a phone call that--" Y/n's sentence ends abruptly as Ruggie runs up and surprises him with a tight hug while he's still in the doorway.

"Shihihi! Welcome home!" Ruggie exclaims while nuzzling his face into his husband's neck, "I'll forgive you for being late just this once, seeing as how it's our anniversary! Not to mention how I'd hate for the special dinner I made to go to waste!" He finishes lightheartedly while motioning towards the kitchen.

"Like I'd let that happen! But first, I got something for-" Y/n moves his hand from behind his back only to just realize that it's empty and looks back at Ruggie to see him happily sniffing the bouquet of rhododendrons, begonias and chrysanthemums he'd bought for him.

"Shihihi! You know old habits die hard!" Ruggie quips before placing a tender kiss on his husband's lips, "I love them, dear. Thank you so much."

This tender moment continues in the kitchen where the two men eat their dinner while discussing all manner of things, from how their days were to how their friends are keeping up to how Grim will do as Acting Headmaster while Y/n is away, until the food is finished and they fall into a comfortable silence. A silence which Ruggie breaks upon seeing Y/n begin to fidget nervously.

"Is something wrong, love?" Ruggie asks while placing his hand on the other man's in comfort.

"N-no! It's just that I got some amazing news earlier and it's getting harder and harder to contain myself!" He says with excitement rising up in his voice.

"Well, don't keep me waiting, then! Lay it on me!" Ruggie urges, his curiosity at it's peak.

"Ok ok! So do you remember that phone call I mentioned that made me late?" The other man begins before taking both of Ruggie's hands in his own with a big smile, "It was from the adoption agency! The papers were accepted!! We can adopt a child!!!"

All time seems to stop in the moment it takes Ruggie to process this information before resuming as his face breaks into the biggest smile he's worn all day and he reaches across the table to wrap his husband in a tight hug.

The two remain like this for several minutes, hugging and crying from happiness until they've calmed down enough to separate and look at each other with eyes full of love and adoration.

"I'm so happy that I get to adopt a child with you, Y/n!" Ruggie says elatedly.

"Me too, Ruggie!" The other man responds, "Now, all that's left to do is--"

"W......... ...p..."

Ruggie blinks for a second, unsure of what he'd just heard, "Uh, what was that last part, Y/n?"

"Huh? Well, I was just saying how we need to--"

"W...KE U..."

'There it is again. It sounds far away, but close at the same time...and what is it trying to tell me?' Ruggie thinks as he attempts to clear out his ears with his finger to hear better, "Sorry, my ears are acting weird suddenly, could you say that again?"

The confusion on Y/n's face is quickly accompanied by concern as he reaches forward to check Ruggie for a fever, "Dear, are you feeling alright? Maybe you should--"

"PLEASE, RUGGIE!!! WAKE UP!!!"

The hyena's surroundings begin to melt away into darkness as he hears the voice loud and clear, that of the real Y/n begging him to wake up from this apparent dream, the last thing he sees before doing so being dream Y/n's concerned face dissolving into the darkness.

Ruggie floats in the void of unconsciousness briefly before he feels a pair of hands shaking his shoulders frantically and his eyes flutter open to see the real Y/n's face looking back at him, contorted in desperation that turns into immense relief upon his awakening.

"Ruggie! Oh my god... oh my god. Thank goodness, you're okay!" The Prefect says while pulling the hyena into a tight hug with shaking hands.

"Y-yeah...sorry for worrying you! I'm okay now, though!" Ruggie says while shaking off the drowsiness caused by Malleus's spell and returning his boyfriend's hug.

Ruggie would've preferred that this nice moment go on for a bit longer, but it's instead ruined by the sound of a spell being launched at the two of them and the Prefect instinctively rolling them out of the way.

"Crap, I was so relieved that I almost forgot." The other man says while helping Ruggie stand up and staying close to him protectively, "We managed to severely weaken Malleus in the dream world, but he's not down just yet. Will you help us finish him off?"

And here Ruggie was just getting used to being awake again and suddenly he needs to fight. Typical.

"Shihihi, anything for you, Y/n!" Ruggie says while shaking off the last of the drowsiness, "And besides, I need to pay that guy back for teasing me with something that hasn't happened yet!"

And so, the fight continues as Ruggie and the others lob spell after spell at the weakened fae prince until Malleus's stamina is seeming to reach its limits, which his dormmates and the Prefect use as an opportunity to try to reason with him again.

"MALLEUS-SAMA, PLEASE YOU MUST UNDERSTAND--"

"Malleus, it hurts me too, but this isn't the way to--"

"Malleus, just give it up! This can't go on forever--"

"Lostie, please! This isn't who you are--"

"SILENCE!!!" Malleus yells in one last fit of rage that sends a barrage of thick and sharp thorn vines out in all directions, one of which speeds towards Ruggie faster than he can dodge.

Ruggie closes his eyes and braces for the feeling of the vine tearing into his flesh, when suddenly--

"RUGGIE!!!"

He instead feels a hand pushing him away, hears the Prefect’s voice calling his name in sheer desperation and opens his eyes just in time to see the thorn vine drive itself directly through the other man's stomach as he lets out a blood-curdling scream in pain.

Ruggie's vision turns red at this and the next moments go by in a blur until he comes out of it to the sight of an unconscious and now normal Malleus at his feet.

He has no time to wonder how that happened as he whips his head around to find where his boyfriend is and sees him collapsed on his back in a growing pool of blood with Grim crying his name next to him.

"Y/N!!! No no no no no no--" Ruggie says as he sprints over and slides on his knees to a halt next to him and holds him in his arms, uncaring to how much blood would get on him, "Y/N! Hey!! Talk to me!!! Grim! Go find Professor Crewel or Riddle or someone who can help!"

The direbeast sprints away as the Prefect stirs in Ruggie's arms.

"...*cough* R-Ruggie? You're alright?" He looks at Ruggie with barely focused eyes and coughs up blood on top of the blood already gushing from the gaping hole in his stomach.

"Forget about me! Why'd you do that?!" He practically screams as he shoves his scarf into the wound in a desperate, but vain attempt to stop the bleeding, all survival knowledge having left his brain due to panic.

"S-sorry...*cough* when I saw the vine coming at you, my body moved on its own. I just couldn't bear the thought of you getting hurt..." Y/n says with a small, pathetic smile.

"I-- That's-- Y-you shouldn't-- I-I'm not--" Ruggie tries to argue, to say ANYTHING, but, looking at the ever growing pool of blood around them and hearing the sound of the Prefect’s breathing becoming more labored, all words die in his throat and all he can do is look into his love's eyes while tears pool around his own.

Just as the tears begin to fall, the Prefect reaches up his hand to caress the hyena's cheek, which he takes in his own trembling grasp.

He's scared. So scared.

Ruggie's finally found something, someONE, that his childhood self could only dream of finding and now here he is, slowly but surely slipping away.

His spiraling is interrupted by the Prefect’s weakening voice, "R-Ruggie, there's actually-*cough* s-something I need to tell you in case I-*cough* don't make it..." He says as his words grow more forced.

Ruggie's eyes widen, "H-hey! Don't talk like that! Grim's gonna get Professor Crewel here and you'll be patched up in no--"

"Ruggie...please just listen..." The Prefect says in a weak tone that overpowers the rest of Ruggie's sentence, "If I don't make it, I want you-*cough* to go to my room-*huff* at Ramshackle. T-there's *huff* s-something in the very back of the drawer in my desk that I-*cough* want you to have, ok...?"

Ruggie nods nervously as his grip on his boyfriend's hand tightens, "S-sure, but that's only if you don't make it! Which you will! I mean it!" He says, unsure whether he's trying to convince the Prefect or himself.

"Y-yeah...of course..." The other man responds while turning his gaze straight upwards, "Hey...would you mind-*cough* telling me what you dreamt about...?"

Ruggie blushes in embarrassment thinking about it, "Uuhh...w-well...you and me, we were...uh...living together. I was working at the palace and you were the Headmaster here and...we were...really happy. I'd really like it if that could be our reality someday."

The Prefect continues to stare upwards as his eyes glisten with tears, "That-*cough* sounds wonderful...*huff*...I'd like that too." He rasps as Ruggie can see the tears threatening to spill over, "H-hey, Ruggie?"

"Yeah...?" The hyena responds.

"You k-know I love you, r-right?" He says with a weak, but geniune smile causing Ruggie's heart to skip a beat.

"O-of course! I love you too!" Ruggie responds plainly with no hint of sarcasm or false bravado, just the honest truth.

However, this one statement is what makes the Prefect's tears finally spill over, "Th-that-*sniff*-makes me-*cough* so happy to hear. I love you, Ruggie." The next part, he says in a barely audible whisper, "I wish I could’ve...*huff*...shown you how much..."

Time slows down to a crawl in this moment as Ruggie watches the love of his life close his eyes and feels his hand go limp in his grasp, seemingly at peace.

But not Ruggie.

Ruggie is anything but at peace.

All sound is cut off in this moment to the point that he can't even hear his own voice as he desperately calls out Y/n's name and shakes his shoulders, his heart pounding wildly in his chest.

He only stops upon being pushed away by someone he vaguely recognizes who tells him something he can't hear before putting their ear to the Prefect’s chest and trying all manner of tactics to resuscitate him.

But it's too late.

Ruggie had already guessed this, but the confirmation saps the color from the world around him as the person and a small animal still work feverishly for several minutes.

But it doesn't work.

The end of those several minutes of fruitless work is marked by the person placing their fur coat on top of the Prefect's body.

Ruggie goes fully numb at this, his brain barely registering anything about the world around him and even his own actions as he only realizes he's started walking away upon seeing the faces of people he's pretty sure he knows as they either are only just waking up or nursing their own injuries.

How lucky they are to walk away with their lives, unlike a certain someone. Unlike the one person who mattered.

Ignoring the questions of his peers, Ruggie exits Diasomnia and continues walking.

To where? He doesn't know or care anymore. It's not like Y/n will be there to greet him after all.

The minutes pass by in a blur as Ruggie walks until he finds himself at the gates to Ramshackle, 'Oh yeah, that thing Y/n wanted me to have.' He thinks numbly to himself before entering his boyfriend's dorm.

Walking into the Lounge, the hyena's mind clears enough to see the faces of the dorm's three ghostly residents in front of him who look ready to fire a barrage of questions, but settle on one upon seeing his expression.

"He didn't make it, did he?" The middle ghost asks, all three of their expressions turning crestfallen as Ruggie nods silently, "That's...unfortunate. He probably already told you about his gift for you, so go on up to his room, lad. We won't keep you."

'Like I needed your permission.' Ruggie thinks bitterly to himself.

Upon reaching the room he's been to countless times at this point, Ruggie hesitates, but pushes forward and opens the door, already regretting it as he's bombarded with Y/n's scent and every memory he's made with him rushes through his head relentlessly.

Fighting back the tears and forcing each foot in front of the other, Ruggie eventually makes it to Y/n's desk and opens the drawer, finding it empty save for a single envelope with his name on it leaning against the very back.

Snatching up the envelope, Ruggie opens it and immediately recognizes his boyfriend's handwriting on the paper contained inside.

"Dear Ruggie,

If you're reading this, then it means I'm no longer alive. With how dangerous things have become, I've suspected my death as a possibility for quite some time now, so I wanted to be prepared for this outcome.

As I'm writing, you're currently out working one of your jobs and I still find myself marveling at how hardworking you are. It's one of the qualities that I love and respect the most about you. Just before you left, you mentioned how you'll need to hit the grind harder than ever to provide for your 'darling future husband.' which you probably meant as a joke, but it still made my heart skip a beat to imagine that kind of future for us.

But...regarding the future, I really need to apologize. It seems like I won't be able to fulfill the promise we made before we officially started dating.

I'm sorry. I really and truly am. I don't know how I died, but I can one hundred percent assure you that it was never my intention to leave you like this, because the time we've spent together, however brief, was easily the happiest I've ever been and I sincerely hope that you can say the same.

You may have already noticed a certain something I've left behind this letter, which I had hoped to give to you in person later down the line, but seeing as how that's no longer possible...

It's probably cruel to ask this of you now, but:

Ruggie Bucchi, I love you with all of my heart,

Will you marry me?

Forever yours,

Y/n"

Shoving his hand back into the drawer, Ruggie pulls out one more thing like the letter said, a very small box that he opens to reveal a circle of metal adorned by an even smaller glittering jewel on the top.

A ring.

An engagement ring.

The Prefect was going to stay and he was going to propose to him.

With this revelation, Ruggie's legs finally give out and he drops to his knees, tears falling freely down his face as he tightly clutches the letter and ring box to his chest.

"Yes, Y/n...I will marry you…”

[fanfic-inator795]

Big City Greens s4 ranking (so far...)

Overall, with its first 10 episode segments now aired, I'd say BCG s4 is off to a pretty solid start! A couple meh episodes here and there, but also some really GREAT episodes too! Going through them all:

Handshaken: Without a doubt my favorite BCG ep of this season so far. If you know me, you know how much I absolutely LOVE Bill, so it was great seeing him get to be a bit of a handshake badass in addition to his usual humble and sweet self ^v^ Seeing him teach Cricket a lesson was great, and the ep itself just had a ton of funny jokes and some great boarding. Remy trying to be 'country' was also cute and endearing.

Jingled: Honestly, it was a toss-up between this and Truck Stopped (it truly was an incredibly strong season premiere). Ultimately though I rank Jingled just a teeeeeenny bit higher since I really loved Tilly's jingles. As a creative myself, I definitely related to her whole arc. I also loved Cricket keeping an eye on his sis and encouraging her to take care of herself, even while taking advantage of a big company, haha. The stuff with Bill and Alice at the veggie stand was also really cute.

Truck Stopped: Another ep that's relatable, funny and has a great lesson. Truck stops and gas stations are a really fun setting, and for as much as they were bickering in this ep, it was also a great showcase for why these two make for such a great sibling team.

Chipped Off: This episode manages to be both hilarious and fascinating when it comes to showing what Chip has been up to since his defeat and exploring his mental state and the core flaws of who he is that led him to this point. Several jokes from this ep truly got me, and that whole scene with ‘Norm’ and the Mirror Chip was just SO well boarded and great to watch. Truly fantastic ep and a great way to reintroduce Chip (although I’ve gotta say, for as much as I usually like characters with glasses, Norm!Chip looks fucking cursed)

Stand-Up Bill: A very silly ep but also one I enjoyed, even if it was very much a farce. To probably no one's surprise, I enjoyed Bill's arc a lot, and seeing him form a genuine connection with Fred was super sweet. The stuff with Tilly and Cricket with the roast comedian was pretty fun too, and while their revenge on her was maaaaybe just a bit uncalled for (given that Cricket literally asked to be roasted) at least they didn't humiliate her in front of a whole crowd or anything like that. Just a bit of harmless slapstick.

Iced: I’m really glad this ep wasn’t JUST Alice and Nick fighting. Like Alice says, the whole Green family is kiiiinda a mess, so Nick truly does fit in in that sense. All the little subplots are both entertaining enough and are just the right amount of silly. These eps where each Green has their own little subplot are always pretty fun. Sorta standard ep, but enjoyable enough!

Coffee Mates: Pretty good ep! It was simple and perhaps a bit on the predictable side, but Cricket was in great showing here, being not only funny but also showing his responsible side as well as encouraging Gloria to be better and find her work/life balance. You feel a bit bad for all he goes through, but there's a light enough tone to it that it never feels like the kid's being tortured, and his strike afterwards was pretty funny. The ep also has a good moral, and it was nice to see everything work out.

Junk Junkie: Ehhhhh... A couple bits were funny, and I can certainly understand WHY Bill went to such extremes (I'm pretty sure the man has some sort of financial PTSD considering how many times he's nearly lost his home/gone bankrupt) the execution of the plot itself was pretty standard and didn't do much to really grab me. Not bad by any means, just okay.

Bad Dad: As the official re-introduction to Nancy's dad, I thought it was just okay. As I said in the post I made following the ep's premiere, I am glad that they redeemed Nick somewhat by making him respectful of Nancy's rules and having him actually work in exchange for living there. I also appreciated the ep for not totally villainizing Nancy's refusal to forgive her dad and not trying to force a 'fixed' bond between them - they make it clear that she's only tolerating him for the sake of her kids, but at the same time she isn't going to excuse or overlook any shenanigans either. It's not perfect by any means - I certain understand those who feel Nick still got off too easily or who see him as too bad of an influence to be kept around - but considering the type of ep it is, it could have been a LOT worse.

Green Trial: Okay so... Personal bias on the table, I can't watch this ep without thinking of the Ghost and Molly McGee ep "Innocent Until Proven Ghostly". They're just too similar (Sunnyland Productions actually did a good comparison vid about it) and TGAMM definitely had funnier jokes and a much more interesting presentation with the whole crime documentary format imo. But even without the comparison, I just felt like this ep was pretty meh in general, not being all that funny save for maybe one or two lines and just being very predictable. It just sorta seemed like an excuse plot to lead into Nick's reintroduction. Also, while I get why they'd be so sensitive (Nancy cause the cake meant a lot to her personally and Bill because, well, he just loves sweets), I felt like Nancy and Bill were just a bit too mean in this ep. Overall, this ep just wasn't very fun, and that's the most important thing I look for in BCG

So yeah, as I said, a good overall start! ^v^ My only real critique is that a couple eps could've been a bit funnier or more interesting and that we need more Remy and Vasquez (hopefully we get a couple eps focused on them later in the season). Other than that, I'm pretty satisfied and looking forward to more!

[moveslikeanape]

yeah that's totally fine, i'll follow you back now as well! i hope you don't mind that i post about a lot of things other than disney movies haha. though my url happens to be the name of a character from twisted wonderland, a disney game that i like a lot. when you mentioned hunchback of notre dame being one of your favorite disney movies, i thought about how twisted wonderland actually has references to HoND in it--but sadly, nothing tarzan related. i found out about what mark henn said from this link if you'd like to read it, there's some additional info in here as well and it's all a bit sad to hear, but really interesting: https://www.cartoonbrew.com/studios/retired-disney-legend-mark-henn-work-had-been-more-meaningful-236985.html

i agree that disney songs definitely shouldn't be written with the intention that people will hear them before seeing the movie! i know some people do like to listen to the soundtracks of new disney movies before they see them, but i've actually always tried my best not to do that or hear any of the songs ahead of time because i prefer being surprised by them. so when i saw wish, all i'd heard was the snippet of "this wish" that was played in the trailers, and during the scene where at all costs played i was honestly so confused about the context of it that it was a little distracting. disney music should immerse you in the story and tell you something about the characters, not distract you because the situation the song is being used for doesn't seem to make sense...

oh yeah, i've heard that about the atlantis book! there's a blog on wordpress i found recently who did really detailed reviews of the different disney art books and they mentioned all of that about the atlantis one. i agree it's a huge shame, that movie seems to have such a fascinating world and i'd love to be able to learn more about it. another thing that disappoints me is there being no book for the emperor's new groove at all, though on the bright side at least the documentary for that movie is available online.

oh no, that must be so frustrating to keep missing out on getting to see the tarzan broadway show! i hope you get a chance to see it someday, and that you enjoy it when you do. i'll definitely have to find the time one of these days to at least listen to the cast recording myself. it's so interesting that it's popular in germany but not here... i wonder why that could be. i love that jane gets her own song, though. she's my favorite character from the movie (though of course i also love tarzan himself!) and i always thought it would be nice to have just a bit more insight into what she's thinking and feeling.

i remember reading that with rafiki, the director wanted to gender-swap him as well as give nala more focus because she thought the movie didn't have a strong enough leading female role. so i really do wonder why they'd change terk back into a guy, because something i always liked about the movie is the variety of different female characters in the movie between her, jane, and kala! and terk is really cool and unique for how she ended up breaking gender roles, but then you lose that element in the broadway show. if you do find anything about why they made that change i'd love to know.

No worries, mine is kind of a mix of Disney and cats, with random other stuff I like thrown in. Thanks for following back!

Ooo, I'd heard of Twisted Wonderland, but never really looked into it. Will have to check it out!

Just read that article, and wow, that is so sad! I can't imagine how hard it must've been to see things go downhill like that, a having his ideas taken like that?! Poor guy.

I think Disney needs to slow down a moment and and look into their own history to see what they're supposed to be about. Thinking about how they try to put out so much so fast, and how they seem more invested in their acquired properties than original ideas. How important quality was to Walt, to the point that he nearly bankrupted the company on several occasions just for the sake of quality. Now it's all about the money… making money for the shareholders is far more important to them that making something they can actually be proud of.

That sounds like a really interesting blog! I think they kind of fell away from art books (and other merch in general) as the movies began "under performing". Such a shame because the early 2000s had such incredible and daring movies, and they basically got swept under the carpet.

Thank you! Someday I'll get to see it. If you get the chance to listen to the cast recording, please let me know what you think! I was talking to a friend in Germany, and she said the country just seems to like Tarzan in general, so maybe it's just a love of the character in any form that made it work there. I'm with you on Jane. I would have been so sad if she didn't get one. She actually has a song to herself, the duet with Tarzan, and a duet with Porter!

Kerchak also got his own song (as well as a duet with Kala). They really expanded Kerchak's character and I absolutely love them for that. While you understand his motives in the movie, they dig deeper in the musical, and make him a more rounded and sympathetic character.

That makes sense about Rafiki and expanding Nala (especially given lions are actually matriarchal). I'll have to dig out my Tarzan Broadway book and see if it says anything about Terk. I'm guessing because they took away Tantor and they figure people would be more able to accept Tarzan having a male friend.

[courtesanofdeath]

[Black Lagoon Anon. I might have to give myself a nickname, alias, or something until I'm comfortable enough to reveal myself to anyone.]

Anyway.

I'll have to tag you in some of these posts eventually, so you could see these posts. Especially if you might not have seen any rare art before.

If I'm honest... My language preference for anime is English so I know not everyone is tolerant towards English dub. But Black Lagoon really has to be one series I'm adamant about watching in English since the characters speak in accents and languages. That has a lot of diversity for an interesting franchise like this, along with those characters too.

Yes. The anime did change some details from the manga. So... Before the Roberta's Blood Trail arc, the previous arcs only had all very minor details changed. And some arcs were also in different order than how it was in the manga too. But, when the story actually got to Roberta's Blood Trail arc, certain details were changed. Mainly about Roberta in both versions. She doesn't die though. I'm not even sure how you feel about spoilers so I won't say more than that. Unless you want me to.

But! Besides details being changed.. If you do read the manga, than it means you can also catch up on the story too. Just in case they never continue the anime. Because who knows if there's more to the anime.

Yeah. You only have vague details about Chang's backstory right now; a corrupt police officer who's partner died, manipulates people in just doing his dirty work. Has a frienemy relationship with Balalaika - after he almost killed Balalaika, and Dutch saving Balalaika from dying too.

Oh! And the previous chapter had Dutch's backstory too, if you might be curious about his character too. I don't think there is any character I'd hate. No.. Wait. That's a lie. I'm not really a fan of Janet Bhai at all. I think her character always annoyed me. So I don't care for her much.

So for Gangsta., that series is basically the same story concept as the Black Lagoon universe - in a good way - but with some differences so you might like the series. Like I said! Because of their creator's health, the manga is extremely on ongoing at the slowest pace. And there's a season for the anime. Only one season. Because the studio who really did create the first season, they went bankrupt right after that season was released. So who knows if we will ever get more Gangsta. anime.

But Gangsta. is also another really underrated series, in the same way that Black Lagoon is. Oh! And the creaor of Gangsta. is a woman too.

I'll let you know what I make posts for the Black Lagoon casts, if they ever did create the live adaption in the way I'd envision it.. But I would also know that not everyone would agree to my own visions, in ways I can understand. But I try to stuck to the appearances if I actually can.

I'm not surprised to see explicit art of the Black Lagoon characters... I would still love to see art of the women that isn't too sexualized either in my opinion. So I can agree with you on that. And preferably art that isn't stolen or plagiarized by other people. So that is a whole problem.

I don't know? Because every fan I'd see obsessing over Black Lagoon, male and female fans, love that the characters - especially the female characters - are the strong characters. And, technically, both of these characters are the main characters. Rocky slightly more than Revy, in the sense that the story started with his character. But they really are the main characters. If that makes sense. But this series really should have way more recognition though. Hopefully that actually happens.

If you are curious about Gangsta., then I'll send you some videos just to see if you might be interested in the series. So here are videos that you could watch. Though I will let you know that it's in English dub.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZSmHpMnhgQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y85f_yFx5KY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnELmsLLEwY

hi hi yes feel free to drop a nickname you wanna use !! and yes i'd appreciate it if you could tag me in the posts so i can reblog them, whenever you want to!

i just added the black lagoon manga on my to-read list and i will be reading it asap for sure! and i'll be starting it right from the beginning so i can enjoy it in the right order + with full details of the characters and their backstories! i can't wait to see how the rest of the manga goes!

i feel the same about janet bhai actually lmaaoo i don't necessarily hate her, but she's a character that i didn't interest me all that much. her being benny's love interest is kinda random but funny though lol

and oooh i watched the videos and gangsta looks like a good and fun series! i already dig the main character's vibes just with those clips! it looks really interesting and i see the similarity with black lagoon! i think i'll check out the anime first and see how it is, and then i'll jump to the manga (regardless of whether i like the anime or not) !! thank you for recommending it to me! i'm looking forward to watching and reading it!

[fandom-collective-writers]

Love letters (Victor x MC)

Fandom: MLQC

Pairing: Victor x MC

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 1262

Author: @rikumorimachisgirl

A/N: Thank you, @voltage-vixen for the vote of confidence and for reading through this first.

Disclaimer: I do not own MLQC or its characters, but I own the idea for this fic.

Victor Li 

CEO

Loveland Financial Group

February 14th

Dear Mr. 27-year-old CEO, 

Please consider this as my intent to resign as a business partner. I no longer wish to produce shows under your portfolio nor do I require your financial assistance to fund my company effective immediately. Now, before you start rolling your eyes and call me an dummy (which I resent, by the way), I'd like to tell you that I've thought this over, and I'm positive that this is for the best. 

You are the worst person I've ever partnered with - you ask me to work under tight deadlines, only to order me to rest and take it easy after working me into a frenzy in the first place. You also don’t even spend five minutes reviewing the reports I spent days writing only to nitpick the most minute of flaws. On top of everything, you are always waking up at odd hours of the night to hear my voice, then turn around and insist I fall back to sleep….how do you honestly expect me to fall back to sleep after being woken up by you?  

You have no respect for privacy - you grab my notes without permission, read through my diary, and even check my emails when you think I don't notice. Thanks to that, you now know my favorite restaurants, my dream destinations, and my honest opinion of your work ethic. So much for secrecy!

You have no concept of work-life balance - you send me emails and ask for reports even while you're supposed to be off work, you join my conference calls while you're with your family, and you sometimes drag me to have dinner with them just so we could continue talking about work. 

In the last twelve months, I have worked more hours than five regular employees in your company have. I have foregone days off in favor of accompanying you on your trips and scouting for possible locations to shoot for new episodes to meet your ridiculous deadlines. I have also blurred the lines between work and personal time so I can anticipate your calls, which could happen anytime between the time I step out of your line of sight to the time I make my morning coffee. I am exhausted from a lack of rest and sleep as you invade my every thought. 

Yes, my every thought. Day and night!

I'm not even sure when it started, but somewhere between you walking me home in the rain, teaching me how to dance, and cooking for me at Souvenir, my heart started to feel funny. At first, I thought it was just a case of nerves because I always get nervous when you boss me around; however, the feeling I've been getting lately is far different from that. It happened a lot more frequently after - when you held me in your arms in the dark hotel room to keep me safe while the rain raged outside, and that time you picked me up at the airport because there was a snowstorm and you knew I had nowhere to sleep, and the skillful way you dove after me when I slipped and fell in the pool because of my drunkenness. You've made my heart pound faster and harder than it should more times than I can count, but I think the worst incident of all was when you invited me to your aunt's wedding rehearsal, not as a guest, but as a bride. Your bride. I bet you had no idea how breathtaking you looked in your three-piece suit, or how hard my heart pounded when you reached out to me that my whole body shook. I'm positive you had no idea how you've kept me up all night after the rehearsal, replaying everything that happened in my head - from the way you held me like I was a delicate piece of China, to the way you looked at me like I was the most beautiful girl you've ever laid eyes on. I also realized after that incident that I simply can't start or end my day without seeing you - or even hearing from you at the very least. I have come to look forward to waking up to your calls or text messages and find that I can't sleep without hearing your voice, too. I realize that I have fallen in love with you, and that, for me, is a big problem. 

I can't continue to work with you in the light of these new circumstances. I maintain a strong work ethic and believe that it is impossible and improper to mix business and pleasure. Having said that, I'd like you to please accept my resignation as your business partner effective immediately. And once you've approved of my resignation, please accept my invitation to go out on a date this Valentine's day. 

Yours truly, 

(Y/N)

--------

(Y/N)

Miracle Finder Producer

February 14th

Dear Dummy, 

I'm writing this in response to the letter that Goldman handed to me right before I stepped into the boardroom for the Quarterly Business Review. I had intended to read it after the meeting, however, my assistant wore a cheeky smirk on his face that meant your letter was probably worth spending a minute or two to read. And while I was hoping to be entertained by whatever was written on your note, I certainly wasn't expecting you'd be so bold as to confess your feelings on paper. Your courage, I feel, should be rewarded, which is why you're receiving this note. 

I have to admit that you have given me a ton of headache since we first met. I knew, right when I laid eyes on you again after, that you would be nothing but trouble. I was hoping to be wrong about my intuition for once, but the more we spend time together, the more I knew I was right. 

You have all the right attributes for someone in the wrong field of expertise - you are too kind-hearted, too considerate, too trusting, and too easy-going for your good. It's hard for me to understand how you could be so forgiving, and how you always choose to see the good in other people even when they have the meanest intentions towards you. You always barely meet the deadline, and your reports are always poorly written despite my constant corrections and advice, it's a wonder your own company hasn't fired you yet. Your decision-making skills are highly questionable, I would've been bankrupt if I relied on you to call the shots. 

Yet, despite all these, I couldn't take my eyes away from you even for a minute. I know when you're nearby and I scan the room the minute I step in to find you. Your smile is so silly, I find myself smiling at you when you're not looking. Your messages are often nonsensical, yet I don't mind receiving and reading them over and over. I close my eyes and picture the rest of my life, and I see you in it - with me. 

That said, I can't accept your resignation as my business partner. I feel you've still got a lot to learn about me and LFG, since I intend to keep this within the family. And if you get my meaning, I'd like to also say that I accept your invitation to go out tonight and would like to ask you to bring a change of clothes with you. After all, it seems we've got a lot of time to get to know each other better tonight. 

Yours always,

Victor

[retphienix]

We're on probation for our HEINOUS crime (soon to be discussed) and apparently it was organized so that our parents are not taking us back (by their decision apparently?) and we're under this guy's watch.

I like him.

Biased but also mostly baseless.

Before deciding to play this I turned on P5 Strikers and he seemed chill, so I assume he becomes chill later, so there's the bias. The baseless is that I kinda just decided I like him despite his suspicions towards us.

This was fucky and is where I'd like to talk a bit about the HORRIBLE action Joker took that got him in this mess (not the flashback-getting-drugged-police-interrogation mess, the first mess)

Joker saw a woman being harrassed and told to get into a vehicle she didn't want to, and he stepped in by putting his hand on the guy's shoulder which caused him to spin around and trip because he was drunk.

The guy had sway with the police (as a slightly upcoming dream sequence reveals) and sued the hell out of the kid claiming it was assault.

This is where I think the policing laws of Japan come into place because with or without the implied corruption- they convicted the hell out of this kid despite the accuser being DRUNK and their being a sober witness/actual victim in the woman who was present.

It's both believable that he got fingered here because of how the law has been presented to my american ass, and because the accuser claimed to have the police on his payroll in the first place so that pill is easy to swallow.

Sojiro's response to it is something else though. He really believes it would be best to lay low and not make any waves and it comes off as morally bankrupt here- like he sees Joker stepping up in itself to be more than enough to be punished when he should have stayed in line and kept his mouth shut (the action that would damn another but would keep himself squeaky clean in the eyes of the law).

A very "None of my business, stay in my lane even when I could prevent a hospital from burning down" mentality. It's interesting, and I don't like it much, but in the "I will now disregard this advice and do better than you, old man." kind of way.

Dream segment where Igor says "This is your heart, a prison, you're trapped by fate......unless?" and tells you to go do cool stuff. No idea about any of this beyond the implication that Joker can overcome fate, but it will be difficult.

This segment has the principle and our future teacher both remarking about how we're a little shit and a nuisance and we'll be out on our ass faster than spit to a spitoon if we start trouble and that they have no confidence in us because we're a criminal and at FIRST:

Myself and my bud were baffled at the aggression and how even the teacher couldn't see it from our POV- but then we considered that neither of them specify our story- they just say we were criminals who had an assault charge.

That's when we realized that potentially neither of these two know our story- they just know that we had an assault charge.

Potentially only Sojiro knows the specifics, and he still doesn't respect our decision.

And considering this potential- which is not confirmed just yet so maybe it's empty air- it did become easier to swallow that both of these characters would just see a juvie bound assault committing kid since they might not know WHY we "did" the thing we "did".

Regardless- they don't like us.

!!!

No lies- I've been grabbed pretty good so far.

This hint at the danger affecting the area right now IS threatening- it's an unseen and unknowable 'thing' causing people to commit acts of severe terror like this train- as the unknowable hook to pull me in and make me wanna get going- it works.

[swanimagines]

Hi Jenni!

I've been scrolling through your blog and I just wanted to say thank you for letting me be part of your fandom family. I'm so glad we're friends and your blog is so beautiful! I also hope that you are doing well. <3

I was looking at your platonic crushes and when I saw Frodo Baggins (Lord of the Rings) and Zack Addy (Bones), it warmed my heart. I rewatched Lord of the Rings a few months ago and I forgot how phenomenal that series is. Frodo is such a sweetheart. My mom and I are rewatching Bones and Zack is adorable (platonically).

Peter Pan (Jeremy Sumpter) was one of my childhood crushes as well. Now I just think he's cool.

I'm so glad Scott McCall (Teen Wolf) is one of your favorites, he's such a sweetheart as well. I feel like he'd be the perfect best friend.

Ooo I absolutely love pizza! Its my favorite food too!

Your guinea pigs are so cute!

Lilac/violet is such a pretty color! Actually any shade of purple is pretty to me.

Lately, everytime I fall asleep I've imagined being in different fandoms (mostly Titans, and Teen Wolf) and just hanging out with the characters, and it's made me feel calm.

Aw Kit, no problem!! I love having you in my fandom family!

And haha well you've read my about page through very carefully XD Love to see it. Putting my answers under the cut because I don't wanna clog dashboards.

I had violet hair a couple of years ago actually, it was like cool-shaded violet but when you ruffled it a bit, it turned bright violet and had blue streaks underneath, it was super cool 🤩 I'm pretty confident the hairdresser was a magician because hoooly hell it was amazing. I just told her to use my hair as a blank canvas and she did.

Haha yeah, I've liked the whole main gang during these 3 seasons I've finished. The first episode of the 4th season has been waiting for me for a month 😅 I just get episodes when I can't really concentrate on watching anything and this time it has been replaced by writing everywhere and with anything.

Omg but pizza always brings this one authentic Napolitan restaurant to my mind which was the best restaurant I've ever visited. It was held by a man who really was from Napoli and he was so nice and told great stories about Italy and FOR MY BIRTHDAY HE MADE TIRAMISU FOR ME AND MY FRIEND AS A SURPRISE??? I had told him a few weeks prior that I'll be coming there that day to have a birthday lunch with a friend and then he remembered and just made tiramisu for me as a gift 😭💕

It's just that the place was so tiny and remote from everything that it ultimately went bankrupt.

And haha, I've imagined those little scenarios since I was like... 8 or 9, I think? I haven't fallen to sleep hugging Dami (my stuffed toy dog) for months now though since I imagine it's Kaz so I sleep as far away as I can from him to respect his boundaries, but it still somehow calms me to know that he's "there" in case I get anxiety or something and at times, when I'm alone, I really "believe" it's really Kaz and I'm in Ketterdam, I hear people shouting at the street below my window and find myself thinking that hopefully Kaz won't wake up because he fell to sleep easily for once, but at the same time I know it's just my imagination and if someone came to me while I'm having that imagination bubble, I'd come back to my senses immediately so it's not like I'm drowning into some dream world and losing touch with real world and it's been this way for like 10 years.

It's an amazing feeling, training your imagination goes great lengths.

[latevictorian]

on academic romanticism

I, like many, used to fanatically romanticize the academic process. Even after all I've endured, I often still do.

I did this because I fancied myself a scholar of very high esteem. I had a ravenous, insatiable appetite for classical art and literature. I devoured books, I recited ballads and soliloquies, and I couldn't wait to further my education. I wanted to get a doctorate. I wanted to be an English professor.

My undergraduate experience was hardly one of hard academicism. I attended a special liberal arts college in Southern California. It was the most famous party school on the beach, so, as you can imagine, my education wasn't exactly rigorous. The classes in my major, English literature, were largely non-threatening, and non-challenging. Most of my instructors were bohemian if not outright hippies. My classes were often taught outside, in spitting image of a fetid, mossy lagoon, overrun with mosquitoes. I was always far too preoccupied with the mosquitoes to focus on my lessons. And, even worse, my classmates were not exactly beacons of literary fervor, nor were they particularly aesthete. They were preoccupied with the fatuous sins of the age. After a while, I, too, became enchanted by such things.

While my undergraduate foray was a pleasurable and sociable experience, and one which I dearly and sorely cherish (shortly after graduating, I wrote that academia had "given me a soul,") I found that my very expensive degree in English, which had bankrupted me, was absolutely useless when it came to seeking employment. As lassitude consumed me, I found myself craving something even more stringently academic. Thus, I made the worst mistake of my life and applied to graduate school. I'd do it properly this time, I told myself, as I applied to all of my dream schools in the United Kingdom. I'd go to England and have my Dickensian experience. I knew it would be no walk in the park, but I would welcome the groans and pains of it all. England, to me, spelled the chance to reinvent myself anew, to paint myself as a scholar worthy of mine own merit.

I decided that pursuing English again would be doubly useless, so this time I majored in journalism, considering it to be a hard subject and something useful (what a fool I was). My year abroad in graduate school in England was the loneliest, bitterest year of my life. Like a Catholic martyr, I was tested. I was given no time to explore or enjoy myself, thus, I didn't. I didn't travel around Europe -- in fact, aside from two trips to London, I didn't even travel around England.

Most of my fellow classmen were international students like myself, and we were all abused in various ways. It was unbearable. I readily flirted with the process of withdrawing from the program, but I never went through with it. For a masochist, quitting is never an option.

By the time it was over I was but a husk. I no longer had the ability, time, or desire to read for pleasure. Schooling had not enhanced my character, it had but degraded and destroyed it. My postgraduate experience, which ultimately had not been very academic, nor Dickensian, nor very aesthetically pleasing, had left me dead inside. Even if I had still wanted to, I was in no shape whatsoever to pursue a PhD. I frantically wrote to my college mentors, decrying the hideousness of my postgraduate experience and asking them if it was worth it for me to try. They all told me not to further my education, to quit while I was still ahead, to not dig myself into further debt for yet another useless degree. It was then that I accepted that degrees were useless and that the liberal arts were a farce and a scandalous racket.

So, once I returned to New York City with my shiny new degree in journalism, I knew it was time to get to work.

Now, let me stress that journalism was something I cared desperately about, and something that I believed in. I truly wanted to aid in the creation of a more trustworthy and dutiful press. I truly wanted to pitch and write great stories. I had always dreamed of working in a newsroom, working on things that mattered, using my literary acumen to further the progress of mankind. I anticipated that the industry would be fast-paced and stressful but in a way that keeps one perpetually excited, on one's toes, ready to strike, ready to gather the story, ready to do the work.

Nothing could have prepared me for the reality of things.

(to be continued)

[vakariaan]

I'd like to send you an ask about healthcare in America, but my character limit ran out. If you don't mind, I will divide it in parts...?

Part 1) I follow your blog for Poldark, but as an American, I noticed your reblog about the healthcare crisis in our country. This is personal to me, because my family has experienced the greed of our insurance companies and pharmaceutical industry firsthand.Part 2) My dad was diagnosed with colon cancer last year, and the cost of surgery and chemo almost bankrupt him. My mother has hyperthyroidism but has no health insurance and doesn’t take her medicine because the cost is too high. I myself lost health insurance for two years after my father retired.Part 3) I don’t know how you feel about Bernie Sanders, but I support him for his lifelong and genuine concern of the gap between the very wealthy and the very poor, and his tireless fight to bring a national healthcare system to our country. Older generations say millenialls support him because we want everything for free - I say I support him because I don’t want my parents to die just because they’re poor. Part 4) Lastly, I wonder from across the pond, what are your thoughts about the healthcare crisis in my country, and what has your experience been with healthcare in your own country? 

——-

Well first of all I’m so sorry for you and for your family. Illness is already its own burden that brings worries about money, never mind having the worry of medical bills on TOP of those too.

I’m going to be honest and tell you I don’t know a whole lot about the US election candidates - maybe once the election is imminent I’ll take more of an interest but the process is sooo long and it’s still so far away. I will say that anyone who is advocating for universal healthcare is worth supporting.

I’ll tell you a bit about my experience with the NHS in Scotland.

Our healthcare is free at the point of care and I can guarantee I would not be alive today if it wasn’t for the NHS. Not because I’ve had life threatening conditions but because I would literally have made sure I wasn’t alive. (Suicide TW) It may not seem like much (especially given what others go through with chronic conditions etc) but I was getting treatment for acne since I was 12 years old. I’ve detailed my treatments in my ‘Skin Troubles with Scabby Legs McGee’ tag so I won’t run through the meds again here. Dentistry in this country is free until you’re 18, I needed multiple teeth pulled, braces etc. Optometry appointments are free, and I had to wear glasses to correct an astigmatism for 4 at least 4 years as a young teen.My family would not have been able afford all of this and my self esteem (which is already affected enough by it) would not have allowed ME to survive it.

As for life threatening, my mum had treatment for breast cancer, a mastectomy and a reconstruction 19 years ago. We had very little income as it was because she couldn’t work, but we didn’t have medical bills hanging over us which would not have been the case without the NHS. This year in January we found out my mum’s cancer had come back and she has been receiving treatment ever since - again, while money is tight and the pressure of future finances are hanging over us, I’m at least working now and we don’t have those medical bills to pay. We would have gone bankrupt when my mum first had cancer, there is no doubt about that.

My aunt had a cardiac arrest in February and was attended to by two ambulances and a medical car (and has been getting treatment ever since). I think I read somewhere it’s like over $1000 bill for an ambulance in the US and that is, quite frankly, horrific. In the past 5 years alone my dad has needed 3 ambulances.I have a diabetic aunt who has severe arthritis. She has had a partial leg amputation and surgery on both of her elbows. She has been unable to work for years, but she doesn’t have medical bills hanging over her.

It’s all very well me saying it’s ‘free’ by the way, it is definitely not free. So anti-millennial folk don’t know what they’re talking about. The NHS is funded through taxes and in Scotland we’re lucky enough to have no prescription charges but that isn’t the case for England. We pay for dental work after 18 (off the top of my head I needed a filling a few months ago, I paid for private treatment in order to get a white filling and it cost me £60, if I’d taken the NHS treatment it would have been a silver filling costing £16). There are allowances for people on benefits/full time education etc

People complain and complain about the NHS and the wait times etc but they don’t blame the government and systems like the Tory party systematically dismantling the NHS by reducing funding and causing staff shortages etc. The option to go private is always there if you can afford it of course and many people choose to go private to reduce their waiting times but my mum started treatment within (at most) 4 weeks of her cancer diagnosis. She saw the GP for a persistent cough and was sent to hospital the same day for an xray, within a week she had the diagnosis and within another week she had started treatment. People complain about having to wait a week to see a GP but I have worked in a doctor’s office and having been on the ‘front lines’ as it were, emergencies are ALWAYS seen to. The scare mongering stories the anti-universal healthcare people push are absolute nonsense

You asked about my views on the healthcare crisis in your country from an outsiders perspective and I can honestly say it terrifies me. Like…terrifies me all the way to my bones. I can’t imagine living somewhere where I could be charged thousands of pounds for something I cannot control. It’s horrific and draconian and I genuinely feel for you and the people of your country.

[semiotomatics]

thinkin bout my soon-to-be-actualized d&d campaign...

I'm like 9000% certain I never could've dm'd before listening to TAZ: balance. I'd had a decent level of exposure to d&d before I discovered the podcast (i sat in on some friends' campaigns in high school, plus I started watching critical role like 6 months before I finally caved and started TAZ), and it all piqued my interest to varying degrees. I'd say CR prolly caused me to catch the bug more than anything that came before it. I even had a desire to DM a game prior to starting TAZ. but I didn't, and I don't think I could've even if I'd had the players/time/energy dropped right in my lap. I just didn't have the right frame of reference I guess

which?? idek what it is about the balance arc that made me DM Ready™. I mean I love that entire arc to pieces, I've relistened to it like 3 times already, and I seem to be unable to go more than a few months without going back to it. its incredibly different tonally and structurally to CR, which isn't a knock on CR in the slightest! but I think I knew I could never be a Matt Mercer DM, and so having him as my main DM rep made me shy away from taking on the role myself.

but Griffin's style spoke to me in ways Matt's never did. they're both very narrative driven, but where Matt constructs his world and story completely within the bounds of the game, Griffin merely uses it as a launching board for whatever zany ideas he manages to think up. he's also not interested in Tortured Grimdark Drama or Classic High Fantasy Epics or Morally Bankrupt Murder-hobos. his only focus was (and now, with the announcement that season 2 is gonna be Amnesty, still is) telling a fun story with his family, making goofs, and being completely 100% devoted to the characters and the world they created together. I don't think balance would've turned out nearly as good if Griffin had been a rules lawyer, or even a casual rules advocate. tbh I don't think it could've happened at all. from the moment he went off book in the very first adventure he stepped outside what the DMG could provide him

which isn't to say I don't care about the rules at all! I absolutely love the chance aspect of dice rolls deciding the narrative, and I think the many and varied materials from the PHB to the unofficial/supplementary/homebrew stuff provides an excellent foundation to build a world/characters on top of. but I don't want to stop at gameplay. I don't even necessarily want to start with gameplay. I dont think I'm any more capable of being a rules lawyer than Griffin is. I just want to tell a good _story_. I want to tell a hopeful story. I want to let my players be heroes. I want them to know, even if I don't make it as explicit as Griffin did, that ”you're going to be amazing" <3