#now things are a little complicated ): hard to take care of their sweet kitty (pet) when they've got a youngin on the way

[theprettynosferatu]

March 8:

Words. I need words. So hard to focus… Daddy told me to write but I want to go back to my kitty bed! What I want doesn’t matter. Only Daddy’s orders matter. Only Daddy’s pleasure matters. I need to concentrate, but memories and fantasies get all mixed up together,,, I have to put them in order and write. Put them in order. How did the day begin? Oh! Oh! I remember now! Working from home! Daddy told me we could work using the computers at home and I didn’t quite get it because it seems so complicated… like, how could we work at home and the work get done at the office? No matter. Daddy can think about the hard things. Oh! He told me people at the office really like me! He says they swap the videos of me they took and his bosses are talking about giving him a promotion!

Still, work was work so I put on my work clothes. Daddy was kind enough to make me a little home office in the corner of his office room! He even got me a new chair, one of those ero- ergom- the ones that don’t hurt your back, and it has a vibrate function to relax my muscles and, of course, to awesome dildos to fill up my slutty holes while I work! Daddy is so smart! This way I can work and stay edged and wet at the same time. Always wet. Always ready. Wetter is better.

Daddy sat in front of his computer and I went to my corner and moaned as one dildo went into my soaked cunt and another into my tight ass. God, it felt so good, I felt so full! But I had to work. What was my work again? I asked Daddy and I felt so dumb asking him and that made my pussy clench the fake cock harder. Dumb feels good. Dumb is sexy. He explained it to me slowly, so I would get it and I got more and more desperate the more he explained things to me like the dummy I am. Ok, so… looking at video files and clicking on words that describe them. I could do that.

I pulled up the first video. It had some sort of code in the corner, some identifying number or something. It showed me a girl on all fours, getting railed by an older, but quite buff man. My hands acted before my brain could process things, and I clicked on “cunt”, “slut”, “hot”, and obviously, “useful”. The chair agreed with me, because the toys inside me started vibrating, drawing moans from my wet lips. Did it mean I did a good job? I thought so, and moved on to the next video. Two brunette, petite girls worshiped a cock. They took turns licking it, they kissed through it, they eventually licked the warm cum of each other’s face. My hand once again acted on its own, this time choosing “good girls”, “lucky”, “fuckdolls.” Third video. By then I had settled into a rhythm of taking it all in and letting the chair edge me mercilessly. A woman walking down the street, dressed in what looked like light autumn clothes. My hand didn’t hesitate. “Slut” (aren’t we all?), “cocksocket” (duh), “unhappy” (she wasn’t serving a man, of course she was unhappy!). I must have gotten it right, because the chair vibrated so hard I would have cum if I didn’t know I only deserve to cum when Daddy’s sweet cum is inside my greedy mouth. 

Then came the fourth video. I… don’t remember it. I remember the number on screen and my body acting on its own. Everything went quiet in my head. I opened the drawers and took out kitty ears and a kitty tail buttplug. Kitty. I was a kitty. I was a pet. Pets don’t wear clothes, so I took mine off before inserting the plug into my owned asshole. Pet. No think. I went to the corner and started rubbing my cunt, looking at Daddy. Nothing else existed. I was in a blissful void, moaning and whimpering like a little animal in heat, drooling and feeling time lose all meaning. There was nothing else, only my needy, obedient cunt and my owner. I didn’t exist. I was just my cunt and the pleasure and the need to obey and rub and rub and rub it all away until only the deeper, primal need to be owned remained. I felt so safe knowing I had such an amazing owner! He would take care of me. All I ever needed to do is rub and obey… rub and obey… rub and obey… good girl, god pet, dumb pet, slutty kitty. At some point day became night and Daddy came to my corner and I undid his pants and felt so desperate to please, so utterly needy… pleasing my owner was more important than food or air or anything else in the world. I was so happy, being a good little cunt and good little kitty, using my throat and tits and lips to give that marvelous cock the pleasure it deserved. This was all I ever needed to be. Good pet. Obedient pet. Good pets get treats, and as soon as my owner’s warm cum filled my mouth, my body exploded with pleasure, shivering and humping the air and groping my tits. 

I don’t know how I came so hard, or how long I had been rubbing before, but after that all I needed to do was curl up in the corner like a good kitty and nap. I felt so… peaceful and fulfilled. Daddy brought me a blanket and my kitty bowl full of food. I was the luckiest pet in the world.

March 9:

I got a promotion! Daddy says I did such a good job I deserve it and I feel like it’s the biggest accomplishment of my life! The promotion also comes with a new work uniform and a new work computer and when Daddy told me that I wanted to cry. He’s so generous and good to me and I’m such a dumb bimbo slut! But I didn’t cry: instead I went on all fours and followed Daddy around for the rest of the day. He even leashed me like a good little pet!

Today I woke up and Daddy had already left my work uniform out for me. He’s so thoughtful! It certainly looks different than my previous office outfit… when I put it on and looked at myself in the mirror I felt… well, I can’t really explain it. I mean, it was an office uniform, but so much… sexier and sluttier! The blouse didn’t even have top buttons so my tasty plastic titties almost bursted out of it (of course, I couldn’t wear a bra with such a cute blouse, that would ruin the effect!) and it left my flat stomach in full view, so it was a… work blouse top? I don’t know, I’m not smart enough to name things. It did look super slutty, and the new skirt is so short half my cute butt peeks out from under it, which I love. Instead of black stockings, I got pink fishnets this time, and they matched perfectly with my pink kitty years! Instead of black high heel shoes, I got some stiletto fuck-me pumps, of the kind that lets men know you are looking for cock to please. All in all, I felt so… weird. I knew it was my work outfit, so a part of me kept that determined, professional mindset… but I also looked like such a whore that my cunt was instantly wet. Maybe it meant I should take being a fucktoy as seriously as any job? I don’t know. All I knew was that I would do my best in whatever was required of me.

I went downstairs and squealed when I saw my new work computer. It was so cute! Pink and kinda round and has big kitty ears just like me! Daddy told me I would be in charge of answering emails. It sounded important and I was a bit scared I would be too dumb to do it, but I sat on my double dildo chair, moaned, and got ready to work. 

The first email asked me what the date was. Okay, that I knew! I started typing, trying to be professional and proper. But the words on the screen were… different from what I wrote. At least, I think so… I deleted the email and started again. I made sure to start with “dear sir or madam”, and to simply write that it was Wednesday, March 9. That’s not what showed up on the screen. Instead, it read “Dear Sir or cunt: tody is like, wedsay marchhh 0.” I looked at it again. I mean, the computer had to be right! And looking at my reply made me feel so dumb and useless and… so fucking horny. The dildos in my work chair vibrated in agreement, I think. I hit send, and almost screamed as the chair increased its intensity with approval. God, being dumb is good. Dumber is better. Dumbest is bestest!

The computer played a nice bell sound. A new email! I opened it. I don’t ever remember the question, all I know is my hands played on the keyboard like a piano and suddenly the words “im sorry i cant answer im just a dumb bimbo slut that livess to please cock” were on screen and I hit send and sarted drooling from how amazing it felt. Did I write it or did the computer autocorrect my words? I didn’t know and I didn’t care. It was good to let everyone know what a dumb cunt I was. 

The third email was just a number. I reached into the drawer and grabbed my dildo gag. I opened my whore mouth wide and made sure it was fastened properly. Slut doesn’t need to talk. Slut needs only to have cock in her mouth and obey. Cock keeps me wet. Cock keeps me dumb. Dumber is better. Emptier is better.

Fourth email. I don’t remember what it said, if anything. All I knew was that I needed to obey. I went to Daddy’s desk and got on all fours. I felt his shoes on my back and squirmed with pleasure. I’m just an object. If Daddy wants to be comfortable, it’s my duty to become his furniture. I was blissfully empty. Just an object. I don’t know how long I spent there before Daddy sent me back to my work chair. Time lost meaning and all I knew was that it was my duty to do whatever the emails told me. My wet cunt makes me a slave.

Email. I grabbed a huge buttplug and fucked my greedy asshole with it in the middle of the office. Email. I played with my bimbo tits for an hour, so sensitive, so ready to make me dumb and needy. Email. I wrote “Daddy's Bimbo Slut” on my breasts and edged for hours, moaning into my cockgag. Email. My mind went blank, a single phrase repeated over and over again. My wet cunt makes me a slave; Daddy owns my wet cunt. My wet cunt makes me a slave; Daddy owns my wet cunt. Email. I rubbed on Daddy’s shoes like a bitch in heat, moaning and shivering and being so much less than a person and so much more… 

Email after email after email. I obeyed. I can’t remember them all. When my shift was over, Daddy looked deep into my eyes. “Good girl”, he said. “Feel the cock in your mouth. Feel it cum.” And I did. I felt warm jizz filling my whore mouth, and I came instantly, over and over, my mind overwhelmed by pleasure. I might have passed out.

Daddy said I did such a good job I get tomorrow off to go make myself better. He has left instructions for me, but I can only read them tomorrow. I think I’ll edge myself to sleep. Tomorrow can’t come soon enough!

 March 11:

Oh God I look so good and I feel so slutty and happy and bubbly and wet! Like, I’m wet all the time! Wetter is better. I’m Daddy’s dumb bimbo. I need to… I need to stop edging and write for a bit. Daddy told me to.

So, yesterday Daddy took me to this beauty salon… it was huge and super pretty, but I was the only client there so I got all the attention! Daddy told one of them what to do to me, and part of me was kinda scared but mostly I was just thrilled and shaking with anticipation. Also all the women working there looked like such bimbos! They were all blondes with big titties and short, short skirts and when Daddy left I had this strange feeling of… belonging. Like, these are the kind of girls I should always be surrounded with! Slutty bimbo sisters, I think I thought. I can’t be sure, all I know is that I got so wet for some reason… like for a moment I saw a world full of good girls…

One of them started doing my nails and talking to me and my eyes kept drifting to her cleavage and we talked about men, about what they like, about how to make ourselves hotter for our owners, about how to suck cock and which makeup runs easier if the Man wants to see it ruined and which brands resisted if the Man wanted us to remain all pretty after they used us. She gave me long, sparkly pink nails and they made me feel so… dumb and shallow and giggly! I know I giggled because she giggled too and I felt so welcome, so at home with her. I think the speakers were playing some strange music, but I can’t remember.

Then another girl did my feet. Her hair was blood red and she had tattoos all over but she was a bimbo like me, like, a different flavor of slut. I wondered how many kinds of fucktoys there could be. She explained that feet are important because some Men like them and you can use them to make cocks cum. I’d never thought of that! I’m such a dummy, and feeling supid only made me wetter. When she was done my feet were as soft as hands, the nails a pretty pink, and I couldn’t help but imagine them coated in Daddy’s cum. My entire body belongs to Him.

 Next, the lead bimbo did a treatment to make my skin softer. I had to get naked and I jumped at the opportunity. Naked felt more natural here, like we were all just silly dolls so pretending to be more was silly. She rubbed a white cream all over me and I moaned like the dumb slut I am and she was clearly enjoying it too. She paid my big tits especial attention and I could feel my skin becoming so soft, so sensitive… Then it hit me like a truck. A soft breeze made my nipple stiffen and they were like… like clits on my boobs, and I almost came right then and there. I whimpered and moaned and saw the redhead enjoying the show, her hand inside her leather pants. I’m living porn. I’m happier as porn. My sensitive nipples make me wet. My tits make me needy and dumb.

Finally they started working on my hair. I admit I was scared. I was proud of my long hair. The girl that did my hair talked a lot and worked super fast. She was so funny! She told me about her adventures, about all the Men and girls she’d been with, all the things she had done to make them cum. Every now and then she lightly touched my nipple sending me to the edge of orgasm and laughed. She told me how lucky I was to have a permanent owner. However, she proudly proclaimed herself to be Free Use, and showed me a tattoo on her arm that, she explained, let everyone know they could fuck her whenever and however they wished. She told me she preferred older Men, especially Men with daughters because she could ask the daughter’s name and let the Man call her that. She talked so much and I was so fuzzy and horny that I didn’t notice when she finished cutting my hair. Before I could take a good look she toyed with my nipple and I closed my eyes in pleasure and she took me to another chair to do color. She said she wanted me to see the final product, not the halfway point.

She applied product on my hair and, to pass the time as it worked, she and the redhead gave me a show to teach me how to share a cock in case my owner wanted me to play with another girl. They used a dildo and had so many pointers! They taught me about eye contact, both with the Man and each other; how to kiss so the Man had the best view, how to pleasure a cock in a way that was both fair to the girls and brought the Man maximum pleasure, how to smile at each other in shared complicity. They even showed me some hot dance moves to do with another girl! Before I knew it, the time was up and they rinsed my hair together.  

What I saw in the mirror was a picture of slutty beauty. My long neck was visible, a pixie cut, platinum blonde where my long hair used to be. I felt light and flexible and smooth, as if I could dance all day. My tits felt so sensitive and looked so kissable and fuckable and amazing… my nails, my legs, all of me was a vision of sex. I was sex. I was made for it. I lived for it. I wanted to learn everything there was to learn to be the perfect fuckdoll. I had a purpose and a mission and I couldn’t think of a better reason to live. 

Daddy picked me up and I could see delight in his eyes. On the drive home, the fabric of my blouse brushing against my nipples drove me crazy, and I moaned and whimpered the entire way. As soon as we got inside the house, I ran to my room. There were so many outfits to try out with my new look! I chose to start with the schoolgirl uniform. I bounced to Daddy playfully and I think it worked because he immediately bent me over and I felt his amazing cock on the entrance of my tight ass… before he let go of all control and railed me right there against the wall. My mind turned off. I was holes and tits and the pleasure made my knees weak and all I could feel was Daddy’s dick inside me, stretching me, making me good, making me useful… I didn’t cum. Good girls don’t cum, even if the friction of the wall against my nipples drove me to the edge of madness. He pumped his warm cum deep inside me, and for a moment that was all I needed in the world. Everything made sense. I was at perfect peace.

Now, I have work to do. I have so many slutty outfits, so much lingerie, so many sets of makeup to try! I have to get it all organized and plan ahead. I am a fuckdoll. What kind of fuckdoll will I be tomorrow? 

  

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[loudlypanickinginvenezolano]

Amusing! Chapter 1, part 2.

«And this, you mother fucker, is why we can’t want nice things. There is an actual risk of them becoming true, and then we will fucking panic because we don’t know that to do. Did you want kisses? There are your cursed kisses, you whiny! And you can’t kiss back nor pet or…or… Fuck this shit. »

Silver is trying his best, Shadow is still very confused, and Sonic…He´s in there, somewhere…

(Working title and summary. Going to change them when I have something more solid to put in.) Even though only Shadow and Silver appear in this chapter, Sonic is in there. He is going to appear in the second chapter. So, yes, this is a triple s.

Part One  Chapter 1 on AO3 

It was chaste and sweet. Their lips met with care once and once again, slowly as if in a dance. Their posture was a bit awkward, with this of Shadow having his mind set on not moving from his spot, but they made do.

Silver deepened their kiss, then, and Shadow smoothly took the control of it. He wasn’t brusque, nor aggressive. It really wasn’t a fight for dominance, even though it actually (Mh? Kinda?) was. Just not in Shadows side. He just…calmly took over, as if it were the way things were and there was nothing to do about it. Just accept it. It made Silver whine and squirm on his insides because Shit, it was hot. The little nibbling on his lips, the graze of fangs and the wet met of their tongues, the texture of Shadows mouth, the little gasps… It was infuriating, how even now Shadow insisted in keeping things calm yet passionate. Was it even possible to kiss like that? Keep things chaste.

Yeah. Great idea. If you want to end up bald.

It made him whine and fidget, which is a Bad™ idea if you are kissing with Shadow. The ebony parted from their kiss, a little frown appearing on his face at seeing how Silver seemed to just…lean forward, as if losing his balance… or maybe searching for more?

Well, Silver was looking at his lips and basically pouting…So, It was a big maybe? Ah, what did he know.

—Is everything okay? — He asked, and Silver found himself tempted with answering “No, we aren’t kissing anymore, how can things be okay?” but restrained himself in time. It was more a thing that Sonic would say, anyway. (And how could he said that without cackling is still a mystery to both of them, truth to be told.)

—Yes. — He breathed, touching his forehead with Shadows in a loving manner. Something occurred to him, however, and Silver perked up almost instantly, much to Shadows amusement. Great Chaos on earth, what was he supposed to do with these two big dorks…and their inability to stay put!? — That wasn’t a smile, you know?

—No, It really wasn’t, now was it? It certainly made me want to, though.

—Maybe we should do a repeat, then, see if we can get that smile out of you this time…

Shadow snorted, half a smile curling his lips and shoulders shaking with barely repressed laughter. — What the--What was that!? Silver!

Silver definitely was pouting this time.  

Shadow couldn’t help it, he broke down in a fit of loud silly giggles which Silver promptly joined. He took hold of Shadow wrist though, knowing well the tendency of his boyfriend of lifting his hand to his mouth while laughing. He was not disappointed when not long after he felt a very small tug and shift under his grip. You see? He was paying attention!

Once both of them calmed down, Shadow shot him a grateful glance, accompanied with a tiny grin that had Silvers heart melting and his whole body preening because, Happy mate? He looked like an absolute idiot in Shadows eyes, flushing face and wagging tail and…Ah, there goes the heart burn once again. Really, can’t you tone it down a bit? For real, brain, stop with the drugs.

There isn’t a real lot to do, isn’t it?

He rocked on his tip toes, before landing a quick smooch of his own on Silver warm cheek, falling back on his heels and turning, as if something had gained his attention and, well, something certainly did. He almost spluttered. — Is that the time!?

His paralyzed by the shock boyfriend came back to his senses, stuttering and confused and happy of course he is happy what the fuck and really really surprised and- - Silver loud whimper scared Shadow.  

He felt almost cheated by life.

—It is not fair! — He exclaimed, falling hard on the ebony’s strong back, poking at his sides and tummy and doing sad noises because it really wasn’t fair. — Shadow! Shaaaadow~ — He whined, trying to get his boyfriend attention back. — Why did you--It wasn’t fair! You can’t do that! Why? You can’t just be so cute like that and kiss me and then change the topic so-so…Horribly! It was catastrophic!

Shadow just huffed, rolling his eyes at the dramatics. He waited a little until the agitated hedgehog calmed down a bit, his frantic rambling quieting before he spoke: — First of all, I did not change the topic. I am surprised by how quick has the time passed. It is somewhat late, and if you can’t remember, I am in the middle of something--that yes, I need to finish before I go to sleep. Second of all, if I were to really try and change the topic I would at least try my hand at subtleness. Or just outright scream. Third but not less important… I am not cute. I am not, was not, and will not.

—Hm, Shadow… But, you are cute.

—What? I… Do not.

—Do so.

—Do not.

—Do, so!

— Do not! Ah, I’m not discussin´ it with you!

Silver laughed openly at that, and Shadows ears flickered in annoyance. He pecked the ebony neck before rubbing his cheeks on. —You are right about something, though.

—Of course I am.

���It is getting late. —He kept going on, ignoring Shadows input. He squinted at the entry of the kitchen, straining his ears to hear the soft muffled sound of the TV. He wondered if Sonic was still seeing the DVDs he had gotten him that very day, if he was waiting for them to go to sleep, or if he had gone already and was in bed. He hummed, tracking his fingers up and down on Shadows tummy, feeling the muscles quiver and his tail squirm (One of the few tells he had, and not always that reliable.) thanks to the sensation. He also saw the dirty glare the ebony throw him, but he was so used to them and knew that there was no real threat behind it, so he didn’t paid any attention and kept petting him as he tought. — Do you still need to do a lot of things? How long will it take for you to be finished?  

—I need to finish with this, and do the final step before I can put it on the freezer. That will take a while. Then I need to clean, and check the fridge. Fill eh…—He trailed up for a second, before thinking “what the hell” and keep on talking. — fill my thermos for tonight and the two for tomorrow, also leave things ready for when I wake up and need to do breakfast. While I am at it, I guess I could also check the windows and the door. The balcony, as well? I really should check the bathroom, though. I really would appreciate not waking up to an annoying flood once again. I just can’t explain how they keep happening…  

Silver winced, grateful that his mind was a safe place, and with it, the reason behind how the “mysterious floods” keep happening would remain far from Shadows reach… However…

—I think that…No.

—Excuse me? — Shadow blinked, because he really wasn’t expecting that as an answer? Just, what exactly was Silver saying no to? It didn’t sound like he was cutting himself short or something like that.

—I said that no. I’m so sorry, but I don’t think that is going to roll. We both need to sleep, don’t you remember? When do you plan in doing so, at 3 of the morning just to wake up at 5? No sire! I don’t… how about this, Hm? What if you let me help you--Shadow let me speak--and then you can finish up earlier? Before you -No. No, shut. Shut. Shadow, no. Keep your mouth shut. Shut. Stop… Don’t you dare open your mouth. Shadow. No. — He sighed, putting his hand on the other lips and pouting a bit, because, blessed chaos, he was trying to help.— What would you do--I swear that if you try to bite me once again you really aren’t moving out of bed tomorrow morning, fast healing or not. Your pride will not be the only thing sore.

Wisely, Shadow kept calm, lowering his ears slowly as if to show his distaste at doing so? But doing it anyway. Silver sighed once again. Really, was this what he got for his efforts? — Now that we are calm, and for your own good, we behaving, what I was going to say? Ah! Yes, yes, Just, think it, ´kay? If I were really busy, wouldn’t you help me? Even if it’s a silly thing, and you are really annoyed with me, you would help me at the end. You can finishing to do your thing, and I can… I dunnu, Check the windows you said? Oh, I know, I can be washing up the dishes! Or, Uh, What you aren’t going to need anymore, I suppose. —He muttered belatedly, remembering that Sonic did the dishes of the dinner.

Or well, actually, just a half of them, as he had rushed to the entry to retry Silver messenger bag and gotten so excited with his gift and his chattering, that when he blinked and remembered that he had been doing something besides smooching and chocking Silver to death, Shadow was finishing with the last of the cups. Sonic indignant and slightly distressed squeak and the honest to Chaos expression of complete confusion Shadow shot back had made him laugh until his belly hurt. Sonic looked like a feral and cute mad kitty ready to pounce with all of his might (And he was using kitty because this was the safe territory of his own mind where he could compare his boyfriend with a kitty and call both pretty as much as he wanted and be freaking thirsty and whatever he felt like. Fucking free will and speech, yes.) And Shadow like a very lost scientist trying to understand an alien or a really troubled mathematician that was trying their hardest to answer a very complicated problem.

Oh! That made him remember something…Damn. How could he distract Shadow now?  

— I don’t … really know where all of this is coming from, Silver. And, it is just that, ok, it is getting late, but it’s not yet. You can go to bed without a fuss, and when you expect it the least I am going to be there. Aren’t you overreacting, even just a bit? Besides, it is not that much anyway, and this is something I do everyday, by myself, so… —His voice trailed off, both eye ridges lifting and then falling. It was his routine by this point, whoever house they were in, or hell, even if he was by himself. He always did so. Though now that Shadows thought about it, the days were he was completely alone kept getting lesser and lesser by an alarming rate. What the fuck? A disappearing was in order into two days. Or maybe could he managed it for one? But then, for how long will he be away? It couldn’t be that much, either…

He refocused just in time to catch his boyfriend frustrated pout, and he leaned in a bit almost by instinct, Silver bending immediately and letting him rub their noses together in his usual act of comfort. Unknowingly, Shadow seemed to relax slightly in Silvers hold, something that had and most likely will always have the younger one chirruping lowly under his breath in a very pleased manner and relaxing as well. The reason was a rather simple one, as straight as just saying that he treasured and could very well live for this kind of interactions with all of his loved ones and didn’t have any shame in saying or demonstrating so, unlike some others.

The ebony breath stuttered at the sounds, and for a second Silver though that he had fucked up immensely, but Shadow continued with the gentle caress, carefully looking into amber eyes before speaking. —I am…Not denying you, Silver. Not to say that this is not something to be upset about. I would be mad if I got angry because this. It is just, ah, you… helping me, I guess? It is, kind of nice of you. Thank you for your concern.

Well.

That was just lame. Fucking Chaos.

— Yes, Yes, Die of laughter, why wouldn’t you?

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #216: “... To Avenge the Avengers!”

February, 1982

"Avenge us, Tigra! The Molecule Man must die!”

Eesh, the Avengers plus Silver Surfer have gone full Hamlet’s Dad on Tigra and she’s gonna cat Molecule Man and his plush himself to death. But he’s ready for it.

But why? Well...

Last time: Silver Surfer inadvertently gave Molecule Man the idea to eat Earth. The Avengers and the Surfer teamed up to stop him but he just Molecule Manned their sweet gear into nothing, captured them all, and then stomped them under a giant boot-o-matic crusher! Except Tigra who he kept around because he wanted someone to talk at and because Tigra had claimed that she liked him!

This time: “Tigra... the Last Avenger!”

Nice touch that the book name inside the book has been changed to match even if the cover hasn’t.

That is a tough hat to wear. Did you know its only been a little over a week since she joined the team?

And in that time she got thrown into space by an Elf-Queen, watched a founding Avenger have an emotional breakdown and try to kill his friends to make them like him again, had her soul set on fire, been repeatedly harassed in public, and watched the whole team be killed with her life only being spared because she begged for her life!

Is this the worst week and change in Avengers history? IT MIGHT WELL BE!

“She was spared. The fear of death has drained away now, leaving only emptiness behind. She has never felt so alone.”

This narration set in the same panel where Molecule Man is all but slapping the giant boot and going ‘this bad boy can crush so many fucking Avengers in it.’

Well really, its more like

Molecule Man: “Well, cat-lady, they’re dead! Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, and that Silver Surfer guy -- squished flat by my giant boot-o-matic crusher! You know, I made this thing out of molecules from a scrapyard! Yessir, I believe in recycling!”

But that’s about the same level of dissonance between jolly goofus villain rambling and hollow despair.

Anyway, Molecule Man calls her out on being such a bummer because she’s moping over there when he’s feeling good about killing the Avengers and really Tigra try to consider how he feels geez.

So she shakes off the despair and asks hey what exactly is Molecule Man going to do with her?

Tigra: “Am I going to be your mate or...”

Molecule Man: “What? Nah! I never got along with girls! I mean, you know... that way! Yessir, mom always warned me about... that! And she was right! You can be my friend! No! Make that -- my pet! Here, kitty, kitty!”

Wow.

That. That dodged a bullet in a cool Matrix bullet time way right into another bullet.

Let’s please not get too creepy with this, huh? You listening to me, comic published nearly forty years ago? Let’s not get creepy!

Molecule Man decides to be a responsible pet owner and feed his pet. He can control molecules so obviously it should be no trouble to just rearrange them into any configuration he--

Okay, its apparently really hard to make food! Way too complicated!

He’s going to be an irresponsible pet owner and not feed Tigra. And meanwhile he’s going to chow down on some undifferentiated mush or possibly a pile of dust. Its all molecules so its all the same to him.

Tigra didn’t even want food but asks him where the bathroom is.

Molecule Man: “Bathroom? Hmm... well, I really don’t understand how plumbing works, so I couldn’t make a bathroom! If you want, though, I could sort of fake it...”

Tigra: “No, I’ll be all right! i just feel a little sick...”

Molecule Man: “So go be sick for a while! I’ve got to get started on my little project anyway! If I’m going to eat this stupid planet -- I’ve got to prepare by clearing away all the living things from a few square miles of land.”

And he gets started! A giant ridge of land just peels up from the ground, like Molecule Man is skinning a fruit before eating. Also a volcano erupts. Pretty sure there weren’t any volcanoes in New Jersey before now.

Fairly sure.

Outside the dome, thankfully the army has been evacuating everyone in a fifty-mile radius or else a lot of people would be dead. VOLCANO.

Then the Fantastic Four arrive.

Yayyyyy! Oh whoa whoa, Fantastic Fourrr!

They’ve got the best Molecule Man mashing record so they’re here to do what they do do.

Which in this context is fail like champs.

Ben Grimm the Thing tries to shatter the dome with a punch and no dice. Then Human Torch cranks up to nova flame and applies the heat of a sun on one little spot on the dome.

Johnny about wears himself out doing it and still no result.

Guess Iron Man, Thor, and Silver Surfer > a pinpoint miniature sun.

Meanwhile inside, Molecule Man tells Tigra hey get a load of this. And then he levitates a couple billion gallons of water from the Delaware River and dumps it on the Fantastic Four, plus the army, washing them away.

Invisible Woman: “Reed, it -- it doesn’t seem possible!”

Mr. Fantastic: “Everything is made of molecules, Sue! Anything is possible for the Molecule Man!”

Molecule Man far too hax.

But meanwhile, gasp, the Avengers weren’t actually all killed in a book with their name on it! This is unprecedented!

And Silver Surfer is ready to explain their unlikely survival of giant crushing boot.

See, Silver Surfer wasn’t quite as knocked unconscious as the three Avengers so he played possum. When Molecule Man put the Avengers plus Silver Surfer in the crushing boot and when it was just about to crush, Silver Surfer used the Power Cosmic to disintegrate the bottom part of the boot so that the Avengers and him fell to a lower floor. Completely uncrushed!

So that’s good.

The bad is that Silver Surfer has to report that Tigra is still in Molecule Man’s clutches.

The awkward is that Iron Man and Thor lost their armor and hammer respectively so Cap is like ‘wait, what are Tony Stark and Perfectly Normal Dr. Donald Blake doing here??’

So Tony and Don come clean about his secret ID.

Tony Stark, Actually Iron Man: “I feel a little foolish about keeping that secret from you till now! I’m sure Don feels the same way...”

Donald Blake, Dr. Thor: “Right, Tony...”

So now Cap is in on the secret which previously bound Tony and Don together as the Best Friends Avengers Who Aren’t Beast and Wonder Man.

Remember when they discovered each other’s secret IDs? Good times. Well, weird times. That was the issue when that hates-robots group suicide bombed Vision for dating a meat woman.

Also, Tony was only wearing underwear under the Iron Man armor so Don gave him his suit jacket to wear as a loincloth. Mighty nice of him.

Silver Surfer has just been standing on the sides not caring about all this secret ID nonsense or personal drama so he chimes in to point out that Molecule Man is going to eat the planet unless they stop him.

Cap decides that he and the Surfer have to strike before Molecule Man realizes they’re alive. Tony and Don have the important mission to hide somewhere safe.

Tony and Don object to being sidelined. Strongly.

Tony: “You think Iron Man is just a suit of armor, Cap? Is that what you’re saying?”

Don: “I found this rod to use as a makeshift cane! It won’t change me into a thunder god, but it’ll help me get around -- if only to draw fire!”

Tony: “Like it or not, we’re with you!”

Don: “The Avengers stand assembled, Captain America! Now, lead us!”

Cap: “All right! I get the message! I should have known better than to think you’d -- I mean, you two are the best...”

Tony: “Save it, Cap! We’ve got work to do!”

Aww.

This is everything I could have hoped for out of secret ID reveal. Cap starts thinking of them as civilians now that they have real person names but ultimately it brings them closer as teammates.

I love it. Granted, I love it because my favorite form of Avengers is a group of friends and set of interpersonal dramas roughly shaped like a superhero team.

Later, in the nighttime and in the room that Molecule Man made for Tigra.

... Wow, Molecule Man.

Wow.

So we’ve got a giant cat shaped bed. A giant, terrifying cat head on the wall. And a giant ball of yarn. But not giant sized cat tree? Fie and shame.

Anyway, Tigra is sitting on bed lamenting and decrying the Fantastic Four’s failure. Especially as it pertains to her situation.

Tigra: “I -- I just can’t believe the Fantastic Four failed! How could they let me -- and the world down like that? How could they? Right now, Reed Richards is probably locked in his lab trying to invent a gizmo that’ll pierce the dome! Hmf! Who knows how long that might take? The Molecule Man plans to eat the Earth tomorrow morning!”

Nothing like a nice filling breakfast, I guess.

She grants that Reed doesn’t know there’s an everyone’s-deadline so instead Tigra bemoans that it’s all up to her.

Tigra: “I should have tried to jump him today! I can’t believe I didn’t! I was standing right next to him a couple of times! I’m cat-quick! Why didn’t I lunge at him and claw him to shreds before he could move? Could it be because my muscles felt like jelly -- ? I was trembling -- ? In shock -- ? Afraid of him? Hey, shouldn’t I be? I mean, I saw him crush my friends to a bloody smear! And I had a spooky feeling that he was somehow, secretly ready for an attack -- and hoping I’d give him an excuse to dice me into furry cubes!”

And because this is a Tigra character beat page, she also thinks about how easy the hero gig used to seem when it was for smaller stakes. But with the actual literal fate of the world at stake... “I never thought that when the big test came I’d be a scaredy cat!”

But she remembers what Cap said during the Ghost Rider story that its not wrong to be frightened if you don’t let fear dictate your actions.

So she creeps out into the night to Molecule Man’s bedroom.

Oh, that’s a neat touch.

Her shadow on the wall looks a lot like a tiger because her hair curls at the end like a tail.

Neat.

So anyway, she doesn’t understand how Molecule Man can be so confident that he’s just sleeping with his door wide open and with no defenses and wonders if there’s a trap or whether he’s just counting on her to think that there’s a trap.

She’s about five seconds from a full-blown I know you know that I know that you know episode.

The only way to find out is just go for it so she creeps into the room. The garish room.

This is even more wow than Tigra’s room.

But as she creeps into the room and up to the enormous, ridiculous bed, she realizes that she has to kill him. If she attacks and doesn’t kill him with the first strike, what he could do is too horrible for her to imagine.

But what she doesn’t realize is that Molecule Man isn’t sleeping soundly and isn’t unprepared. 

He’s stretched monomolecular filaments across the room, too thin for even Tigra to spot.

Now usually monomolecular filaments is one of those ‘oops I’ve been cut to pieces by invisible wires’ thing. You’ve probably seen it in a couple of anime. But this is more like a bunch of cans on a string.

Tigra breaks one of the filaments while she creeps forward. Something that she couldn’t possibly know but which instantly alerts him.

And his response is a “Oh, ho! Just wait’ll she tries it! This’ll be fun!”

Because Tigra’s instinct was correct. Molecule Man was keeping her around just to kill when she finally tried anything. Its been a game. See how far he can push Tigra and how messily he can deal with her when she loses.

This is pretty tense stuff! Well, it lasts a page so it doesn’t overfocus on this specific tense scenario but still!

Tigra: “I’m in range! All I’ve got to do is spring and... and kill him! He murdered my friends! He’s going to destroy the whole world! I’ve got to kill him! Come on, lady! Do it! What’s wrong? He deserves it! He’s a murderer -- ! A rotten little wimp! He calls you ‘kitty’! Kill him! I hate him! I hate him! but... i just can’t kill him!”

And apologizing to Cap for not being able to go through with it, she slinks out of the room trying to think of another way.

Inside the room, Molecule Man sits up disgruntled, just not understanding at all why she didn’t go through with it. There’s no way she could have known that he was ready for her so why wouldn’t she try to do a murder!

And then as Tigra is wishing she had someone to talk to, someone grabs her and pulls her around a corner.

Boom, a comedy after all that one page of tension.

And it’s Cap because there’s like four people it could have been.

Tigra is elated that the Cap is alive, that she’s not alone anymore! And she tries to confess that she attempted to kill Molecule Man to avenge the Avengers. That maybe she should have because now she might lose them again!

Tony: “You did fine, Tigra! Relax!”

But she doesn’t feel like she did fine so she tries to explain that she let the Avengers down by giving into cowardice. She told Molecule Man she liked him to stay alive.

Cap: “Good strategy, Tigra -- preserving your life so you’d be able to carry on the battle!”

She tries to explain it wasn’t strategy so much as being terrified but she gets distracted because she’s just realized that in this group of Cap and Silver Guy there’s two people she doesn’t know.

Cap: “Dr. Don Blake, who’s secretly Thor and Tony Stark who is Iron Man’s alter ego!”

Her mood immediately flips.

Tigra: “You guys are really Thor and Iron Man? Really? And it’s okay for me to know? Really?”

Tony Stark: “Why not? Somehow those secrets seem pretty trivial, what with the world on the verge of being the Molecule Man’s breakfast!”

He says that but he still looks pretty annoyed at Cap just blurting it out.

And geez, Cap, you gotta let people reveal their own secret identities. Or make up some dumb excuse that everyone instantly believes.

Its the done thing.

In terms of Avengers drama though this is pretty good. Thor, Cap, and Iron Man have been working together for a really long time. Even though Cap didn’t form the Avengers he’s basically been there so long they consider him an honorary founder.

Cap learning Iron Man and Thor’s secret identities can be a ‘we should have told you sooner!’ thing.

Tigra just joined the team! Like a week ago!

They need to work together now and there’s probably no smooth lie that could paper over where Iron Man and Thor went and why these two are here now but its probably still a little galling that Cap just blurts it out to the newest person on the team.

Its great. I’d love to see the repercussions of this.

Anyway, time is short so Tony gets to explaining the plan.

He found his broken armor and managed to scavenge enough bits and pieces to make a little device he’s calling a screamer. It’ll emit a high-pitched noise that should disorient Molecule Man.

And then the device just poofs into smoke in Tony’s hand.

Whoops, Molecule Man overheard their plan to beat up Molecule Man and also heard Tony call him names.

So he pulls together all the loose dust in the room and uses it to strangle Tony.

Wow, they’ve gone from having a “layered assault” to watching someone literally choke on Molecule Man’s dust. That’s got to be the quickest turnaround from hope to nope.

Tigra goes wild, rushing at Molecule Man and screaming that she shoulda killed him before and she’s damn well going to scratch his face off now!

But Molecule Man asks her to talk to the hand. Zing.

Puns.

Although “Don’t scream at me, Kitty! ‘Cause I’ll slap you down!”

Sure. That’s good wordplay too.

Having just been comedically (although seriously) WHAP!’d across the room, Tigra has her own words to say.

Tigra: “You -- you weak, slimy excuse for a human being! How could I have stooped so low as to humble myself to garbage like you? So you’ve got power! Big deal! You were a nerd before -- you’re still a nerd! You were a mistake! You shouldn’t even have been born! You crybaby! All you do is blame the world for your own inedequacy! Go on, kill me, nerd! I despise living in the same world with you!”

Wow. She really took all those personal details he shared and slapped him upside the head with them.

Goes to show. Don’t try to destroy the world. People will have rude things to say.

Meanwhile, Cap and Silver Surfer are trying to save Tony but can’t clear the super condense dust faster than Molecule Man gathers it.

Cap tells Tigra to get Molecule Man because that’s their only chance but Tigra is too hurt from being slapped by a giant hand.

Molecule Man: “I’ve got to hand it to you guys, it must’ve taken some doing to escape my crusher! This time, I’m going to make sure you’re dead! Hmm... someone’s missing! But who?”

And he’s done process of elimination and realized that the guy Thor turned into is missing and figures he ran away when Entirely Normal But Furious Dr. Donald Blake tells Molecule Man to grit his teeth.

And then Molecule Man runs off yelling because Dr. Donald Blake can throw down. He possibly broke Molecule Man’s nose with that one punch.

Good job, Dr. Donald Blake.

With Molecule Man not focusing on the dust thing, Tony is free of the dust thing but unconscious. Dr. Donald Blake tells the others that he’ll take care of Tony and that they should go chase Molecule Man since they can run better than he can.

So Cap, Tigra, and Silver Surfer go off in pursuit of Molecule Man.

Silver Surfer reminds that he can track Molecule Man’s unique energies. Cap helpfully points out that they can also just track the trail of blood drips from Molecule Man’s nose. And Tigra goes ‘also I can smell him’ because its good to have three different ways to find a guy.

They find him in some sort of throne room (curled up in pain on the throne) and charge at him. But he’s not in the mood for their shenanigans.

So he sends a tidal wave of molecules at them.

Cap shouts for Silver Surfer to do something and he does do something indeed.

The Surfer blasts the wave of matter with the power cosmic so hard that it transmutes into raw energy and just explodes through the top of the palace in a beautiful pyrotechnic display.

It also completely exhausts the Surfer and he just kind of plops down for a nap right there on the ground.

Cap tells Tigra to watch the Surfer and then goes to take the Molecule Man on alone.

This isn’t a great plan but also their already small roster has kind of dwindled to this point.

And maybe Cap sort of doesn’t want to throw Tigra at Molecule Man when she’s already been hurt and was voicing all those doubts earlier. Can’t say for sure. She’s about to offer for help but Cap is like ‘WHOOPS NOW OR NEVER!’

Molecule Man must be in a whimsical mood, I mean more so than usual have you seen what he’s been getting up to? Because he converts some of the furnishings into a bunch of stars to shoot at Cap.

Its funny because Cap wears a star. It’d be ironic if he got smacked in the face with one, probably.

But Molecule Man activated Cap’s speechifying and that buffs him because nobody likes hearing Cap talk about freedom and justice and doing right more than Cap probably.

What I’m saying is that he leaps and gambols between the stars and I feel its because he has Stuff To Say that he’s doing so well.

Cap: “You make me sick, mister! They say power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely,  and you’re living proof of it! You might kill me! After all, I’m just an ordinary man -- but men like me have always found a way to bring high-and-mighty tyrants like you to their knees! There’s never enough power to save madmen like you -- from ultimate, bitter defeat!”

WAK!

And perhaps it wasn’t just his agility that was improved by inspirational speeching himself. Because he knocks Molecule Man down with that one punch and he doesn’t get back up.

Or maybe Molecule Man just has a glass jaw.

Don Blake and Tony Stark show up and Silver Surfer wakes up but he runs in with the rest anyway for some reason. Tony tells Tigra to watch Molecule Man while he has an Important Debate with Cap.

See, Tony has realized something. Knocking down Molecule Man is just the first step. If Molecule Man gets back up, he might start eating the Earth again and the Avengers might not be able to stop him.

So he asks Don Blake if there’s a medical way to just sort of keep Molecule Man knocked out.

Don Blake: “How? We can’t just keep hitting him on the head -- this isn’t a T.V. show! I mean, how hard do you hit him? How many times can you do that before causing serious brain damage... or death?”

Realism? In a comic book? What are YOU doing here??

Anyway, Tony doesn’t see any other option but to kill Molecule Man.

Cap protests that Molecule Man is a human being with rights to due process and a trial by jury of his peers!

But Tony is convincing the others. As an Actual Doctor, Don Blake doesn’t like to hear this. He wants to save lives. But he can’t refute Tony.

And Silver Surfer also seems on Team Tony.

Silver Surfer: “I understand what it is to sacrifice one life so that a multitude, a world might live! It seems clear that this Molecule Man cannot be imprisoned or held in check! He... must die to save the Earth... though I could never bring myself to slay him!”

Don’t you have the power cosmic? Surely there’s a power cosmic option available?

To be fair though his the power cosmic might be exhausted at the moment.

Still. Geez, Silver Surfer. ‘He gotta die but 1-2-3-not-it’ is really how you’re playing this??

Meanwhile, Tigra has decided that being asked to watch Molecule Man implies a certain duty perhaps even responsibility to tell him how much he sucks. Which is a lot.

And recall that she’s already told him how much he sucks earlier in the fight. So she has found a second wind in telling him how much he sucks.

Tigra: “You little jerk! Don’t you see? Cap was wrong! Power very seldom corrupts! It usually doesn’t change anything! It just magnifies what’s already there, whether it’s good and noble or evil and petty!”

“You were a nerd before... now you’re a powerful nerd! Big deal! Dummy! The shame of it is that with your power you can build... you can contribute! You don’t have to be a loser anymore!”

“Why are you such a fool? Why can’t you see that killing a planetful of people doesn’t make you even -- it just make you lonelier than ever!”

Wow. It feels like Tigra could hypothetically be talking about all different kinds of entitled nerds who then become the jerks as adults!

Anyway.

Tony and Cap are still arguing.

Tony, at least, isn’t going to ask someone to do something he wouldn’t do himself. I.e., he’s going to kill Molecule Man himself and save four billion people.

Cap: “Tony... please! I can’t let you do this!”

Tony: “You can take me in for murder afterward, Cap, but for now, stand aside! I’m warning you...”

Cap: “You’ll have to go through me, Tony...”

You’re warning him, Tony? You don’t have armor. You don’t even have pants. What are you going to do to supersoldier Captain America?

Logic aside, what strikes me is how much this foreshadows.

Before Civil War contrived that superhero registration, the big hot button superhero debate issue is whether superheroes should kill in extreme circumstances.

Spoilers for the NINETIES but the Regular and West Coast Avengers will come to schism and Cap and Iron Man will basically break up over whether or not to kill the Kree Supreme Intelligence after it engineered a war that killed 90% of the Kree people on purpose.

Shooter is long gone by that point but I guess someone is going to pick up the thread.

Because the debate doesn’t get settled here or rather does, sorta, in favor of Cap but not in a way he expects.

Interrupting the sad fist fight between Cap and a nearly naked man, Molecule Man pops up and tells everyone that Tigra has convinced him to turn his life around.

Tigra: “Guys, Mr. Owen Reece and I have talked, and, well, I convinced him to give himself up!”

Mr. Owen Reece: “Yes, I want to start seeing a therapist!”

Cap: “huh?”

Mr. Owen Reece: “I know I’ll have to go to jail... but that’s okay! It’ll give me time to think things out! I’ll make an opening in the dome now so you can call the authorities!”

Don Blake: “s-sure!”

God, that is just great. I love this as a resolution so much. This is a resolution that Squirrel Girl would bring us, although we’d get more of the actual convincing.

Still very, very good. Good to be optimistic in comics sometimes. Sometimes villains can seek redemption if only a cat yells at them long enough.

Although I think the best part is how baffled everyone is by the plot twist.

So with but a “Soon...” caption, the police have come to pick up Mr. Owen Reece and brought Miss Hanrahan who is going to be his therapist.

Holy crap, a therapist in Marvel who isn’t Doc Sampson but will work with superpowered nonsense!

Can we bring Miss Hanrahan back??

A couple things I like here.

One is that Mr. Owen Reece has changed off-panel into a suit instead of his supervillain costume. Now that’s him making an honest effort.

Two is Very Annoyed Tony Stark in the back of the pack of Avengers. He’s wearing a handkerchief as a mask because someone might recognize him as Tony Stark and then wonder ‘hey why is Tony Stark here.’

Three is the proud smile from Tigra when seeing Mr. Owen Reece meet his therapist.

Melts my heart a little.

Before he goes away to jail, Mr. Owen Reece takes a quick sidebar with the Avengers.

He retroactively feels just awful about ruining their various gadgets so he decides to make right.

He reintegrates Mjolnir, Toomie the surfboard, and Cap’s shield exactly as they were. Original molecules and all! They were so weird that he remembered where they all went.

As for Iron Man’s Iron Man armor.... look, he did his best.

Mr. Owen Reece: “But your armor, with all those complicated electronic gadgets is just too tricky for me to reassemble! You needed something more proper to wear till you get home, though -- so I whipped up some red and gold cloth and made you an Iron Man leisure suit! I hope it’s okay!”

Amazing. Simply incredible.

Although I think my favorite part was Mr. Owen Reece realizing ‘hey Iron Man should be wearing pants!’

Anyway, he also takes apart his Molecule Man Doom Fortress and puts those molecules back where he found them. More or less. He tries.

And, yes, he does rebuild the entire town of Netcong, New Jersey. Except the plumbing.

In a funny call back to Reece admitting he doesn’t really understand plumbing, none of the plumbing in the rebuilt town works.

Later, back at Avengers Mansion, Silver Surfer is offered a spot on the team but turns it down.

FOR THE PATHS OF DESTINY DO BECKON HIM DOWN A LONELY ROAD THAT MUST BE TRAVELED ALONE

Its the only who he has ever known. Except for all the time he spend with Galactus. Or the Defenders. Or later on when he has a companion to take on space nonsense.

Tigra also takes this time to say farewell.

Tigra: “I’m just not in the same league as you guys! I mean, sure I’ve got lots of super-ability, and, usually, I'm even pretty heroic -- but not up to your standard! I mean two of you, without your powers, no less, really showed me what it’s all about back there! And let’s face it, you guys mess with some heavy-duty opposition! I think I’ll quit while I’m ahead!”

=C

Noooooooooo

But but but Tigraaa you were a source of joy and fuuuuuuuun

You only joined at the end of #211! It’s only been about a week in-universe!

Darn.

The three other Avengers all say their goodbyes.

Thor reminds her that she was the one who turned around Mr. Owen Reece but Tigra says she got lucky.

Iron Man gives her one of Tony Stark’s cards and tells her to call Tony Stark who is definitely not him anytime she needs anything.

Jarvis even tears up at her leaving, although he denies it because a good butler never dies on duty and then blames his allergies.

And then Tigra is off. Damn. If I didn’t know who might be joining the Avengers soon I’d be completely inconsolable instead of just very.

So now the Avengers are down to just three members. That’s not a team. That’s a crossover. Probably why Jarvis wonders if a membership drive is in order.

NEXT: The return of... Yellowjacket, the Wasp, and Egghead!

I’m game for Wasp coming back! Don’t think it likely that Yellowjacket is just going to come back to the team just like that! And Egghead? The villain who blew up a city with a killsat and killed Hawkeye’s brother? Unlikely recruit!

(No I know that’s not what the NEXT means)

Hey, follow @essential-avengers​ because the Hank Pym just keeps happening. Like and reblog too please. Be sad with me that Tigra is gone.

[pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles]

No Angel (Girls Talk Boys part 30)

Baby put your arms around me Tell me I'm a problem Know I'm not the girl you thought you knew and that you wanted Underneath the pretty face is something complicated I come with a side of trouble But I know that's why you're staying                                                         

Because, you're, no, angel, either, baby

(A/N y’all I can’t believe we are at part 30. I love each and every one of you whether you’ve been along for the ride or just hopped on. I update every week so get on that tag list so you don’t miss out)

Warning HOT CALUM BIRTHDAY SEX

Cher was a little bit surprised when she opened hey front door and saw Ashton next to Calum holding a pet carrier. She'd mentioned to Ashton she was thinking about getting a cat but honestly showing up with one was a bit much.

“I can explain doll, but we need your help,” Ashton told her as she let them in. Within minutes they were all sitting on the living room floor playing with the little guy. It was a boy Calum confirmed retelling the story of finding him and the trip to the vet.

“He gets too freaked out by Duke and Ashton is allergic so I was hoping you guys could at least foster him until we could find him a home…?” Calum's eyes were pleading. He also knew Camille wasn't home and Cher would be easier to convince.

“Of course!” Cher squealed “what a cute little guy, what's his name?”

“He doesn't have one yet, although he won't stop biting Ashton so maybe Dracula?” Calum laughed reaching over to scratch the kitty behind the ears. In response the cat reared up on its back legs batting its front paws at Calum. “Or maybe Ali cause he's such a fighter,” he played with him until the kitten stopped playing and bit him. Calum jerked back shaking his hand as tiny drops of blood appeared on his finger. Ashton laughed “I told you it hurt.” Cher giggled and ticked the kitten under his neck, “he's a sweet boy.”

Just then the door slammed shut and Camille was standing there watching them. “Calum I know you had something to do with this,” she told him eyeing the cat suspiciously.

“Hey gorgeous, let me help you with that,” Calum hopped up taking the grocery bags from her hands. “You're going to have to help me put them away though. You know I can never remember your system Darling.” Calum headed into the kitchen with Camille close behind.

“I wanna name him Ringo,” Cher told Ashton saying the first thing that came to mind.“That's so cute but are you sure you'll be able to keep him?” Ashton looked unsure.Cher laughed, “Camille tells him yes all the time. I've never heard a no.” Just then a gasp and Camille's laughter came from the kitchen. Cher looked at Ashton and they cracked up. “I told you he'd talk her into it,” Cher told him.“I don't think he's talking,” Ashton replied. “Ow you little fucker.” He pulled his hand back from petting the cat, tiny pinpricks of red appearing on his skin. “That's the sixth time he's bitten me,I don't think he likes me.”“That's okay, I like you” Cher kissed his hand where he was “hurt” just as Calum and Camille returned.

“Okay fine, Calum talked me into letting you foster the cat until he could find a home for him,” Camille told her.Cher started to object but caught the wink Calum gave her over Camille's shoulder and shut her mouth as Camille walked over and Cher handed her the cat. Camille softened a little when he gave her a tiny meow, she scratched the top of his head warming to the idea and then he bit her.Calum was telling Cher all of the vets instructions when Ashton followed Camille back into the kitchen.

“Hey,” Ashton bumped her hip with his “ you sure you're okay with us taking Cal out for a boys night?” Camille sighed “I'm not ecstatic about Calum going and getting pissed drunk without me around, but I also know that if I'm there...”“Calum will be glued to your side and acting like an idiot,” Ashton finished. Camille looked away her face hot “I trust Calum enough to know he's not interested in a hook up. We're solid right now, and nothing, not even a boys night out can change that.” Ashton smiled, “We'll take care of him sweetheart.”

“To the birthday boy!” Ashton yelled as everyone raised their glasses before downing their shots. Calum laughed when Luke grimaced at the tequila. They'd been at it for a couple hours and were starting to get loud and giggly.The bar they found was a little hole in the wall with a jukebox and some arcade games. Luke flopped down on a couch and Ashton took a seat next to him. Calum was talking to Connor and showing him something on his phone. Mitch was chatting up some random girls lingering at the edge of the group and Roy and Mikey were dancing.

Ashton poked Luke and pointed towards them “I don't think Mikey's feet have touched the ground since he proposed to Crystal. Can you believe he was so nervous about it?” Luke smiled and nodded, “yeah but you can never be entirely sure how someone else feels about you. Is Calum on fucking Snapchat again? Calum, you whipped puppy get over here and leave that poor girl alone.” Luke watched Calum make kissy faces at the phone before wandering over and sitting on Luke's lap.

“What are my boys talking about over here?” Calum hiccuped and ruffled Ashton's hair. Luke shifted to adjust to Calum's weight as Ashton spoke, “We were talking about the perfect couple. No surprise Mikey's the first to get wifed up. Wonder who's next?” Ashton raised his eyebrows at them dramatically. Calum chuckled and shook his head bringing his beer bottle to his lips.

“Pshhhhtttt we all know it's you Cal. You're heavier than you look.” Luke grunted pushing Calum off his lap. Michael walked over just as Calum squished between Luke and Ashton.

“Michael, tell them I'm right,” Luke whined before Ashton laughed and Mikey heard Calum grumble “Shut up dude.”

“What are you wrong about Luke?” Michael asked making Calum grin.“Dickhead,” Luke glared at Michael before continuing. “I said you and Crystal are the perfect couple and Ashton asked who I thought would propose next out of the group.”“You said Calum right?” Mikey asked earning him a burst of giggles from Luke and a high five.

Ashton got the waitress to bring the another round of shots. “We've been dating three months guys calm down,” Calum protested.“Yeah I know I'm just fucking with you Cal, but you probably have the strongest relationship out of you three.” Michael remarked. “Hey I've been with Summer longer,” Luke protested sitting up. “Luke, be serious,” Calum shot back and the other three cracked up.

“Be Serious. HA Oh God you even sound like Camille” even Ashton was giving him shit now. “Next thing you'll be calling him peanut.”

“Fuck you guys, I like my girlfriend and I like my nickname.” Luke slurred a bit and  pretended to pout. “Don't turn this on me because Calum won't admit he's in love with Camille.”

“Luke how much have you had to drink?” Calum looked uncomfortable.

“So you don't love Camille?” Luke teased him.Calum stopped and glared at him. Ashton and Michael were watching this curiously.

“Can we not have this discussion?” Calum rubbed his eyes and temples. His three friends just stared at him. “Fine, look I don't know how I feel exactly. I really like Camille, I can't deny that.”

Luke nodded satisfied and rested his head on Cal's shoulder. “Don't worry mate, she's falling for you too.”“Did she say that?” Ashton asked, knowing Luke can't keep secrets when he's drunk.

“Noooooo,” Luke slurred “but she won't shut up about you. I know she's been working on your birthday present for over a month.”“Wait you know what she's doing?” Calum grabbed Luke's shoulders and lined him in the eye.  Camille had been incredibly secretive about what she had planned tomorrow for his “gift” and anytime he asked her she blushed and dissolved into giggles. “I don't know what it is exactly, she didn't tell me.

Lucy is the one helping her and they're not telling anyone.” Luke protested.Calum let go of Luke and sat back a huge smile spreading across his face. He remembered what happened last time Camille and Lucy came up with an idea for him. Connor brought another round and just after they took it Michael put Nickleback's “Rock Star” on the jukebox.

Nobody remembered much past that point.

Calum woke up the next day a little before 1 pm. He had a headache but he wasn't dying. He vaguely remembered Camille making him drink water and put him to bed. He found a Powerade and a thermos of tea next to his bed. Beside them was a note

Happy Birthday Babe

I made you a sandwich and left it in the fridge.

Eat and get re-hydrated, you're gonna need your strength back for tonight

Wear black pants, black belt and white or black button up and be at my place at 7 pm

Calum chugged the Powerade and laid back in bed for a minute. Bits of conversation from last night floated through his mind. Maybe he really did love Camille. Certainly he'd never been this consumed with anyone before. Camille brought out his extremes, both good and bad, and to be honest it scared him a little bit.

He arrived at Camille's door a little before 7. He was nervous and excited, like a little kid on Christmas morning. Calum knew Cher was with Ashton, and he was surprised when it was Lucy who answered the door.

“Camille is finishing getting everything ready” Lucy told him, pouring him a drink. “I hope you know she's worked really hard on this. She'll call you when she's ready.” Lucy had just shut the door on her way out when he heard Camille calling his name from upstairs.

He ran up the stairs following her voice to find her in her bedroom lighting candles and wrapped in a black satin robe.  Calum moved to embrace her but Camille pointed to the sturdy wooden chair placed on a sheet spread out on the carpet at the foot of her bed. Calum smirked and took a seat, and she followed him.

He was a bit shocked when Camille restrained him by tying his hands to the chair with satin ribbon looping it through and around the chair legs.Once his hands were tied she kissed him quickly on the lips and backed away. Calum felt his whole body tingle with anticipation because this wasn't like Camille at all.

Then he heard “Drunk in Love” by Beyonce start over the speakers. Camille stood right on front of him and slowly pulled her robe off. Calum's jaw dropped and his throat went dry. He knew why she'd had to tie his hands. She started to sway her hips to the music as Calum's eyes took her in.

She looked amazing in a black push up bra, black lace panties, garter belt and stockings. Calum had been begging her to wear something like this for months, and she'd finally found the confidence.

“You like what you see babe?” Camille asked him with a wink as she danced in front of him.

“Yeah I do” his voice came out a croak.

Calum just stared, straining against his restraints and his jeans as Camille rolled her hips and bounced her ass. He bit his lip watching her thighs and ass jiggle in front of him.

It wasn't until the song switched to “Partition” that she began to touch him. Dancing close enough to press against him, twisting her hips as her hands unbuttoned his shirt and slid down his chest, her lips finding her favorite spot on his jaw.

He groaned when she lowered herself to her knees  in front of him her fingers raking his legs before kissing and biting her way up his clothed thighs. She looked up at him from between his legs, locking eyes as they had many times before. Calum's bucked his hips, cock hard and searching for her mouth. Camille grinned but didn't go any farther.

She rocked back and bounced on her knees, grinding her hips, her eyes still on him. Calum's lips parted his tongue darting between them watching her and she couldn't resist.

Camille climbed into his lap straddling him and giving him a deep kiss. Pressing her body fully into his she felt his erection brush against her clothed core causing them both to moan into the kiss.

Camille almost gave in but remembered the show wasn't over she finished unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it open. Calum grunted in protest when she stood back up.

Standing between his legs, her hands on his parted thighs, she bent over kissing his chest and raking his nipples with her teeth. He hissed with pleasure and watched her ass, perfectly in his line of sight as she swayed her hips side to side twisting bouncing and jiggling for him.

“I want to try something babe if you're not into it we don't have to” Camille whispered as XO started to play

.“Anything you want darling” he whispered back to her.

He watched her grab a small bottle of oil and a towel. She rubbed his chest with the oil sneaking in a kiss before she cleaned her hands and put everything back on her dresser. Calum gasped and his eyes lit up when he saw her pick up a candle. She dribbled some on her own wrist, testing it before standing beside the chair.

“Happy Birthday, babe” Camille purred yanking his hair and pulling his head back as the first small drops of wax hit his skin.

“More” Calum panted his eyes pressed shut and jaw slack with pleasure.Camille dripped more across his collarbone and shoulder, his breath catching in his throat with each drop.Calum was getting more turned on and Camille found herself incredibly aroused by it.

She moved the candle around decorating his chest, stomach and shoulders with red wax until Calum was begging her to please just fuck him.

Camille had one more trick before she could let him loose. She straddled his thigh and lightly scraped the hardening wax from his skin with her fingernails. Calum moaned loudly and began rocking his hips desperate for friction. This caused his thigh to jiggle against Camille's panties which were already leaving a wet spot on his pants. Camille whimpered and Calum met her eyes as she rocked her hips again pressing harder down on his thigh.

“Don't you dare” Calum groaned seeing her smirk at him. Camille braced herself and rode his thigh, biting her lip, moaning for him, both of them breathing hard and fast. Calum bounced his leg keeping time with her hips. He was so incredibly frustrated but loving every second of Camille's attention. He watched as she came against his thigh. He gave her a second to recover but he couldn't stand it any longer.

“Camille” Calum's voice was almost a warning. Camille slid up to straddle his hip looking him in the eye.

“Take me my king” she teased as she reached behind him and gave two sharp tugs and Calum felt the ties on his wrist go slack.

With a deep growl Calum exploded out of the chair kicking it to the side. His arms grasping Camille's waist as he all but tossed her onto the bed. Calum threw his shirt to the side and yanked off his belt, his pants and boxers quickly followed. Calum pounced on Camille his hands rough pushing her thighs apart and ripping her panties off.

“Yes my king” Camille cooed in his ear spurring him on.

Calum slammed into her both of them gasping and clawing at each other. Desperate kisses, her hands buried in his hair they moved together as Calum set a relentless pace

They were past words their eyes communicating everything they couldn't say. Camille began to clench around him causing him to drive even deeper and harder into her. His fingertips leaving bruises on her hips as her breathy moans told him she was close. Her feet beating on his back as she came undone underneath him.

Calum felt his orgasm hit him so hard he swore his soul left his body. He yelled so loud he startled Camille as he kept thrusting into her, chest heaving, hips stuttering as he emptied himself completely into her. He lay cradled in her neck for several minutes before his brain could think much less form words. He blinked trying to focus on her face smiling down at him.

“Wow, that was intense Calum. Happy birthday my king” Camille laughed.

“My queen” Calum kissed her before nuzzling back into her neck “my love.”

@biba3434 @toofadedtofight @babygirlcashton @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @slimthicccal @unabashedlymyself @vfdsstuff

[tiinkers-tales]

i really need to take this out of my chest and mind and for some reason i think the best way to end up with this struggle is leaving it here. i feel that this hasn’t let me finish the last year nor start this year properly and since i want to update my blog, i think it’s necessary...

it all started at the end of 2017 and the very beginning of 2018, i think. i had this cat for years that wasn’t officially mine but it happened he came one day and we loved him as our pet and fed him, i called him Cheese (because of his blonde fur). parallel to this, my neighbours had three cats (all females), my neighbours are known for being a disaster of people (if they’re not doing drugs, then they’re drunk af) and mistreat their pets (they have a little girl around 10 or more that kicks and hit them, she even is the responsible of one of the kitten losing her right eye, so imagine that shit). knowing they never fed them, i started to leave food to one of the cats (the older one), eventually the three of them came to my garden because we became the saviour to them in a way (my dad and me gave them food and especially me gave them love). the neighbour (the woman) noticed this and started to do comments like “they’re a traitors!! they come here more often” or “they’re so shameless, they eat there and then come to eat here” (like thinking we were stupid enough to ignore the fact they did not eat at all). 

we didn’t give up on feeding them, i even put them names so i could identify them easier: the older one is Luna (the spanish form of “moon”, basically because when i was thinking a name for her, i spotted the moon from my room lmao), the middle one is Bette Davis (because she has big beautiful eyes) and the little one with just one eye is Toffee (because her fur is white, black and light brown, the mix of light brown and black reminded me of those sweets). 

even though, Cheese stopped to come home (whatever the reason is, if it’s because he was uncomfortable for seeing other cats, or because he was too old and he was still a street cat after all) and i haven’t seen him since late October, 2018, i prepared myself before this happened, so it didn’t affect me too much and i tried to take care of the other cats (even if technically they weren’t mine). suddenly, Luna stayed more here than at my neighbour’s, like she wasn’t theirs anymore, she was even inside my home and gave us a lot of joy. while the other cats didn’t stop coming for a bit of love and food, oh, and one kitty was included to the family (a Bette Davis’ daughter), i called her Milky (for the blur’s video character, from Coffee & Tv) and she was very cute and i really loved her. but Luna showed herself like being the favourite cat of us and the guardian one of my house. Those were really great times, you know? she gave me a lot of great times, a lot of laughs and company, like she cleaned my room with her energy. 

however, things started to get complex, because Toffee and Bette Davis got pregnant (my neighbour never took them to the vet for a surgery). First of all, Toffee had her babies in my garden and she had a little complication because it was the first time for her, but my neighbour and her stupid daughter came and took her, so we were fine. Then, it was the turn of Bette Davis... but first, we found out that Milky was pregnant too, yikes. here things get harder: one day Bette Davis just started to meowing at my window, persisting a lot, i knew something was going to happen and i went to check her and she basically was asking for me to prepare her a place to have her babies, i knew that i was going to get into troubles with my parents but i didn’t care and let her my room. 

So, the next day i had to face my parents, they were shocked but they didn’t make a problem over it. And things started to get even more stressful and harder to me, because i didn’t want the kitties went to my neighbours, because i knew they wouldn’t survive (ah, that’s another point, whenever the cats had babies, barely one of them survived) and the neighbour started to come here and ask for them, my parents... they were horrible, they were promising me that we would take care of them and everything was nice, but then as soon as mum changed her mind they both were against me, i had many, many arguments with them (just because they said me one thing and then change their minds and pretend i was fine with that). and well... i don’t want to get into many details, because they were the worst days of my life, i just wanted the kitties to be safe and felt loved, so i had to leave everything, i barely was sleeping well and i cried a lot, even had some breakdowns (and of course, i did my best to come here and try to reply messages or distract myself). besides since Luna was so jealous of the kittens and could attack them, i had to stop her from coming inside.

when it was finally settled down that the kitties were going to be here and we were going to find someone to take care of them (you know, new owners), i found out that Milky (the last pregnant kitty) had her babies and few days after died of unknown reasons. this was too hard to me to get over it, and i couldn’t cry enough because they didn’t even let me visit her and probably they just threw her to the trash. and i couldn’t do much because i was taking care of the kittens (Bette Davis at this point stopped to breastfeed them and she for some reason took care of Milky’s babies, so that wasn’t too bad). the days passed by, nobody came for the kitties.  until christmas, two people came for two kittens (they were 6 in total), i wasn’t ready at all even if i knew i couldn’t keep them all, and of course, it was the worst christmas i’ve ever had. since this left me a kind of trauma, i firmly said to mum that i would not give any more kittens and i would take care of the 4 left. everything seemed okay, i gave them their official names and such. but then, on the first sunday of january of this year, my mum gave two kittens to relative ones without my permission and this... this simply was the last thing. i was destroyed, i felt like they just destroyed my little family, my happiness, because even if i was scared of the future or what would happen next, the kittens were keeping me sane, giving me a reason to fight and then, it was just taken away from me. again, i had to push everything away and keep it cool, like nothing happened, but few weeks after i couldn’t resist anymore and i had a breakdown. these events that i didn’t “suffered” in time and tried to ignore, they ended up of me getting worse (it could be triggering to some people so i won’t get into details neither).  ...and all of this can be so stupid and meaningless to some (”meh, they’re just pets, get over it, lmao”) those kind of people, you know, but if to all of this you add the fact that i’m from a toxic ass family and i have depression, things aren’t that easy to deal with. 

i’ve known that Luna is living now at another’s neighbour and she’s fine, but i miss her so much, i miss those quiet and ‘happy’ days. i miss Milky so much but i’ll keep just the happy moments with her, it’s the best i can do. i miss the kittens that now have new homes, i really do hope they’re happy, i’ll keep the beautiful memories with me and hopefully their new owners will let me meet them again one day. 

as for me... now i have to take care of the two kittens (Jeremy and Frankie) i have left and hopefully things will get better. 

[whyseokjinwhenyoucansuccjin]

Tag You're It!

I've been tagged by the almighty @donotrustducks my sweet and amazing Senpai 🙏🙌 (even though I'm older shhhhh) I didn't know who to tag so I'm tagging @joonpiper @xespanyeol @squishy-smiles (please don't let me flop ya'll) :') I'm joking you don't have to do this.

THE LAST

•Drink: Lemonade

•Phone call: My mom

•Text message: “( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) *slides into them DMs*" (because I'm a weird person)

•Song you listened to: One Love by Monsta X

•Time you cried: 11/14- Happy Tears fortunately although I was close 12/01

HAVE YOU EVER

•Dated someone twice: No

•Kissed someone and regretted it: Yes

•Been cheated on: No

•Lost someone special: Yes

•Been depressed: Yes

•Gotten drunk and thrown up: No

3 FAVORITE COLORS

•Red, Green, Black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

•Made new friends: Yes !! ♥

•Fallen out of love: Um...no?

•Laughed until you cried: I didn't until the first time yesterday

•Found out someone was talking about you: Hmm...I'm not sure actually but I don't think so

•Met someone who changed you: I did 😁

•Found out who your friends are: Sure??? People who accept my dumbness? :')

•Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Uhhhh technically yes?

•How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: Almost all of them, I think maybe 10 I don't but I met them on other social media

•Do you have any pets: Does my stand up hello kitty plushie count?

•Do you want to change your name: Well my last one yes.

•What did you do for your last birthday: I WENT TO GO SEE MONSTA X FAM! HELL YEAH! I EVEN MET THEM AND SHOOK THEIR HAND AND TOOK A PIC WITH THEM AND THEY EVEN CALLED MY MOM MOTHER IN LAW AND--

It was a good day :') plus the tickets were actually affordable. Monsta X are kings of affordability. I honestly feel like I underpaid for my experience and I almost don't even want to go see anyone else 😂 but I know I must.

•What time did you wake up: ummm 1:23 p.m. :)

•What were you doing at midnight last night: Reading

•Name something you can’t wait for: End of my exams, second graduation, the end of my prepations for med school where they all tell me I'm too stupid to be a doctor so I can cry, get it over with and then either go into Forensics or Sociology :')

•What are you listening to right now: Awake- BTS's Jin because Jinsta and Christmas is upon us fam (what are ya'll getting me for Jinsta though--)

•Have you ever talked to a person named tom: No actually--

•Something that is getting on your nerves: Humanity :) not everyone obviously 🙄 but it's getting to a good percentage

•Most visited website: Youtube

•Hair colour: Right now it's a dark brown (looks black) with burgundy streaks

•Long or short hair: Um long? It's more medium but meh

•Do you have a crush on someone: Does Kim Seokjin count?

•What do you like about yourself: umm I like.....I like....uhhhhh....I dunno :( I'm a potato so I don't like much about myself...um I like my imagination? I think it's very cool. I can think up a lot of things. I have a whole world inside my head. Multiple ones actually.

•Blood type: O+.....I think.

•Nickname: Online I go by Jammie ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) because I stole Jimin's jams. I mean he never had any in the first place. Whoops--

•Relationship status: Single

•Zodiac: Cancer

•Pronouns: She/Her.

•Favourite tv show: Supernatural

•Tattoos: None

•Right or left handed: I'm ambidextrous but I prefer my right hand

•Surgery: None....yet :') we'll see this new year yay!

•Sport: is dancing a sport? 🤔

•Vacation: Take me anywhere and everywhere

•Pair of shoes: Sneakers

•Eating: Sweettarts 🤗

•Drinking: Cranberry Juice

•I’m about to: Hmm I might free write for a bit

•Waiting for: Christmas!!

•Want: To fulfill my tumblr username 🙏 lmao no Shownu, JB, Minseok, or Sehun will do just as well.....

Kidding kidding! Um...hmm I want the people I love and care about to be happy and healthy mentally and physically 😊

•Get married: Not right now 0_o

•Career: Something that would let me travel. I really want to be a doctor and biomedical researcher however.....we'll see fam :)

WHICH IS BETTER

•Hugs or kisses: Hugs

•Lips or eyes: I don't know-- both? Although maybe I look at eyes first.

•Shorter or taller: Taller

•Older or younger: Older

•Nice arms or nice stomach: Don’t really care?? •_•

•Hook up or relationship: I’m more of a relationship type person I guess

•Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant

•Kissed a stranger: No

•Drank hard liquor: Yes

•Lost glasses/contact lenses: I hate my contact lenses so I'd rather lose those than my glasses but I don't wear either so-- •_•

•Turned someone down: Yep

•Sex on the first date: Nope

•Broken someone’s heart: Um....I'm not even sure fam •_• my luck with guys is.....complicated

•Had your heart broken: Not really

•Been arrested: No

•Cried when someone died: Yes

•Fallen for a friend: Ummmm well you see--

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

•Yourself: BWAHAHAHAHA Oh wait you're serious?

•Miracles: Hmm I kinda half do, half don't at this point in life

•Love at first sight: Most definitely, have you seen fine ass Kim Seokjin? My heart fell for him before my brain realized it

•Santa Claus: No I haven't since I was a little kid unfortunately. :( but I do believe in spreading Christmas cheer 😁

•Kiss on the first date: If the moment is right sure.