#now they all expect to suddenly be able to do everything myself and I fucking can't man

[hunsa-jars]

Dread be dreading

[starrbright]

Repentance And Reward

Miya Atsumu, Miya Osamu & Suna Rintaro

your bullies fucks you.

this was supposed to be just a drabble. 2.8 k

i settled this in a college setting. all my y/n are fat and of color.

if you've been here with me since day one, you'd figured it out i like it messy and sloppy. i am so serious when i say all my faves in haikyuu can spit in my mouth😔 i really made myself so horny while i was writing this.

inspired by @shaisuki, her piece of the trio being bullies.

honestly don't know if this counts as manipulation. spit kink hahahshahahah. thigh riding. handjobs. slight thigh fucking and blowjobs.

It's another day of the slight misery that weighs heavily between everything; being the manager of the inarizaki boys. Of course, the reasons being—the menace of all them, the Miyas and Suna.

Yesterday ended with you not being able to hold back anymore, pent up dejected frustrations bursting suddenly that allowed you to have the guts to at last put them in place somehow, at least. And despite they repented, and you of barely passing by for all their actions, you're still as rightly upset about it all.

They expected it. When they came in the gym for their morning training, the three arriving earlier than usual having talked about what to do with you—with the sight of you alone being there already and preparing all their necessities. Familiarized of their footsteps enough to know it's them, not even looking the doorway when they walked in, nor falter your focus of what you were doing, just simply ignoring them again.

It's cute. You think you can keep up against them.

You think you're the only one who has been penting up something. That it's only you who's gonna overflow and snap. What happened yesterday only gave them the push. Whether it'll only piss you off more or accept their apology, they don't care, after all--it'll be a win-win.

So there you are now being trapped by the trio once again, ignoring your protests when they spoke of making it up to you, if you could just go with them to the lockers. You have an idea of what they're imposing but trying to deny it in you.

Atsumu and Rintaro remains to bombard you as they pull on your arms, your body trapped between the two as they walk towards their intended direction. While the two always simply enjoy taunting you to a mess, Osamu doesn't want to waste time anymore, they only have an hour before anyone arrives more and a few minutes has passed by already.

"Osamu!" You gasped when you're suddenly as easily lifted off the ground by the said man, wrapping your arms around his neck in an immediate wary, looking up at him in disbelief. "Put me down," your voice lightly dragging in both plea and irritation.

Given, he doesn't listen. The snickers of the two echoes as they follow as Osamu keeps heading to the lockers.

"Come on, sweetheart. You want this, hmm?" There goes Atsumu with his mouth again, always putting words in your mouth—when you now find yourself locked with them, cramped between them like never as their hands begin to touch you everywhere.

You shake your head, keeping up with your protests, trying to push them away but it's only met by heavy and peering eyes, so much of their amusement and the lust. Strongly ignoring the tents they had in their shorts. But you could hardly deny yourself as well.

For once, you admit at least only to yourself, Atsumu is right about you.

"Why don't we just see it for ourselves and let her see it as well?" Rintaro said. Cupping your round cheeks between his one hand, stopping your useless complaints and the other pulled down on your pants, with the help of Atsumu.

"No," you let out weakly and barely as Rintaro keeps his fingers squished on your cheeks while your lush waist and panties are revealed. Hearing them muttering curses when they let your pants pooled on your feet, fat thighs there for them to feast.

"Rin—" before you could utter more, his hand has already dipped in your panties, looking dead in your eyes as he slides his palm further, cupping your mound, two of his fingers feeling how your cunt has been leaking a bit. Breath stopping in your throat and eyes threatening to flutter when his said two fingers began to rub your folds, feeling how your slick drips more. Your eyes stay on anything but their eyes, embarrassed; shy from how aroused you are as they remain eyeing you down.

Rintaro's smirk curls up more, "Aren't ya filthy?" he has the nerve to say and rub his thumb on your clit, eliciting a sudden whimper from you. To prove more of their point, he takes his hand back and shows it to you. Smugly parading his slicked digits, your eyes widening when he sucked them in his mouth, humming as he does. "She doesn't want this, nah." Says he, his untainted hand getting his phone from his jacket and began to record. Knowing all the best angles to catch with whatever goes next.

And what Atsumu says in haste after, they can't wait for. "Fuck, I wanna taste, too."

A pathetic sound barely tumbled from you as he dropped his knees on the floor, your panties yanked down, "Atsumu!" Your hands couldn't even make it in time to prevent his mouth from going to your cunt, forcing arms kept against the back of your thighs to spread you open as he laps on your mound.

The blonde loudly groans from your taste, his sounds rumbling within you and his tongue eagerly licking your cunt, your mere restraint slipping away completely. "Look at 'er," Osamu says, taking notice of every little reaction you have, his hand laying on your nape to turn you to him and sealed your mouth with his. Rintaro gliding his own on your neck sloppily as he takes off your jacket, shirt and bra. You whine even more when they begin to get raw with their thoughts aloud. "Her pussy tastes good, doesn't it, Tsumu?" Rintaro prods in between, his hand groping your breasts, and you, in a mess of not wanting to hear their crude words but so riled up from it. Your poor cheeks once again held by Osamu this time as he freed your mouth and made you look down to his twin.

Atsumu takes a moment to let your pussy breathe after he gave no mercy to it in giving you pleasure; slurping you up while he kept licking and sucking. Spitting on you a few times, even as parting your little hole to spit in you, your juices and his drool already such a mess that he's been drinking. "S'fucking great," Atsumu wildly rasps, mouth wide open and dribbling of the mess. The sight of his eyes you've never seen from anyone because of you. An insanity he knows he has on, with teeth and widened lips soaked, hearts in his pupils, swirls in his widened eyes.

Osamu rumbled a low laugh, squeezing your cheeks. "You've no idea how badly we wanted to do this to ya," he muttered on your ear, his tongue flicking so slowly there.

"Bet you thought about this, too." Rin chuckles, both he and Samu pressing their still clothed and hard cocks on each of your thighs. Your hands now held by the two and led you to palm them, heavy and full against their shorts. Their groans came with its ever teasing laughs as you let your fingers caressed them, hiding your face on Samu's neck, long given up to deny them, and yourself. "Good girl." Samu breathes, his mouth still on your ear.

They, as always cruelly, continue to taunt you of what you can't and won't escape from. "Just say the words, princess." Atsumu croons, back to petting your wet cunt with his thumb.

There you go giving in. You nod, filled with shame yet eagerly you do. "Yes...please..."

So, not a minute sooner, you're on top of Atsumu's right thigh, soaking him there of your leaking cunt, Osamu and Rintaro's cocks in both your hands, Atsumu fisting himself as he kisses you, his other hand on your thick hip and began to move you on him.

"This is so fucking hot, fuck." Rin cursed as he and Samu slowly fucks into your hands and of you meeting their thrusts, his recording still going, your left breast being slapped by him and the other heavily kneaded by Samu.

The view showing most of you, your naked breasts to your ample belly dripping of sweat and their spits from all the sloppy kisses they gave you. Atsumu's thigh with a little paddle of your slick. "Move, baby doll." Atsumu demands as he stopped kissing you, guiding you to grind on his thigh more, making your hands tighten and tremble against their cocks and the two hiss even more.

You follow, with you not allowing too much of your sounds leave you as you fuck your pussy on his thigh, still trying to ignore the shame drowning you. It's nothing but adorable to them as you keep that wall up, still wanting to avoid their eyes.

"Still so shy, huh?" Atsumu exposes your readable thoughts, a grin stitched aside on him, and then your cheeks were once held again, locking your gaze on him.

"Nothin' to be embarrassed about, love." Osamu says. He's not lying but he wouldn't lie as well that sight of you so little while they're whoring you out—makes his cock want to pound your cunt endlessly.

Of course, there's Rin. "There is if she's being such a slut right now for us, hmm?" He laughs, then licking up a thick stripe on his left fingers and smeared it on your nipple as he toys with it.

You're wordless against theirs. What could you even say to them? Complain? While you're pleasuring your cunt by riding the star setter of the team's thigh, his damn glorious thighs. Pressure so fucking good in your sex. Your hands obediently pleasing two cocks. Parts of your body already leaving marks from their hands of slapping your tits, nipples pulled and pinched, your ass spanked, digging on your thighs, gripping your arms, groping your belly, from their nails driving amidst in all of it. Their spits mixed in your mouth from their kisses, that drips down on you so warm.

"Ya like this," Samu says the obvious for you and you could only gnaw your lips at that, bearing to hold Atsumu's gaze as you keep your pace. "Say it for us, doll." the man begins to use his hold over you, his blonde twin's smug but nonchalant face breaks into a grin seeing how Samu's effect on you, fucking his on his hand cock a bit faster.

Everything is so damn good. "Like this...I like it...so much." You utter in whimpers. "All feels good," you barely mumble and they swear, they almost let themselves cum from that alone.

"Fuck." Rin laughs so breathlessly, a groan catching in his throat from it, gripping his phone harder as his hold on it began to shake. The twins just held their reactions but no better.

Wanting the four of you to finish all the same time, Samu poses a push that'll do it. "C'mere," he murmurs, his hand on your chin and turned you to him. "Don't swallow until they've all spit." he ordered before he opened your mouth and let his tongue hover above yours. A thick glob of his saliva slowly dropping to your tongue, resulting a loud moan from you, your eyes rolling back, his grip that was now on your neck squeezed tight.

"Shit. Holy fuck." Atsumu groans when he sees it all. Rin as well, "Fucking hell."

Then Atsumu was more than eager to follow next, though carefully getting your head to him so as for you to not waste Samu's spit. There he let his spit fall on your puddled tongue, a few drops slowly beginning to drip on your lips from how much they gave you.

You couldn't wait to swallow it all, now it was Rin. And he was glad he's last because he gets to do what he does. His tongue lolled out and his spit trickles down to yours into thick drops from how much he gathered.

Just so to please them more, instead of just closing your mouth and immediately swallowing—you slowly rolled your tongue up and back in, giving them a glimpse of how their spits dripped down to your throat and whimpered when you do swallow, your paces faltering but theirs in a fast rhythm. "You're such a good slut." Rin pressed tightly, lightly slapping his fingers on your cheek.

All of you so close. "Fuck, come on, doll, faster." Atsumu grunted and you heed again, catching back your rhythm, fast, both for your pussy and the two cocks on your hands.

"Just like that, princess." Osamu says, gripping on your right breast so hard. It's no half a minute when you've all let yourselves let go for your peaks to immediately rise; dogs in heats of your movements, panting so loud, your grip on their cocks tight and desperate as is your thighs on Atsumu to keep on pushing your cunt to its end, Atsumu thinks he could never go back to watching porns when jacking himself off when he could have a live show.

"Close?" Osamu calls to you when he takes your face to him again and kissed you. You nod immediately, eyes given up and just closed as you keep kissing, your hips doing its best to finally take the edge off.

And at last you do after a moment more, whining loudly when you came and had you shuddering greatly—still even when you stilled your hands on their cocks, threatening them to cum right then and there, they held back, Atsumu as well. Savoring the sight of your end for a moment but not long enough to let your high down.

"On your knees, love." Osamu says, though they know you could barely comply, your body already on clouds, so Atsumu does it for you. In a hurry but still as gentle to getting you off of him and you tried to get on your knees. "Open wide."

Fuck, what they were going to do was better than their spits. Your mouth opens wide and tongue laid out, hazy eyes tired looking up at them, seeing their cocks near your mouth as they fist themselves.

Then they came one after another, their three cocks huddled close to your face but making sure no drop is wasted as their cum spilled straight to your mouth. They groan of curses with the heat flooding them as they finally released, the sight of their thick and hot cum flood on your tongue. Swallowing it all in so much of delight.

You're slumped on your knees, heaving for breaths, eyes in a feathery state. Shame long numb in you despite still there. And how could you even feel it still when you just keep seeing hearts in their eyes? You were sure your own pupils were beginning to whirl its own hearts.

So you weren't surprised when they went for another. Making most of the remaining time and they haven't had enough. They couldn't. Osamu having you on his lap as he fucked your thighs, your pillowy flesh suffocating his cock so good and while rubbing against your wet pussy. As you suck off Atsumu and Rintaro at the same time, switching from giving them a handjob to let them fuck your mouth in between. The ending once again, them cumming in your mouth. No happening left unrecorded. They had you good.

But more of them by you.

Why else Atsumu had taken your bag from the bleachers when they took you to the lockers? Cleaned you up good after with your things. Eased your used body with their skilled hands. Dressed you back up neatly in your uniform. That they're the only ones who cleaned up any mess and didn't let you to even help a little.

.

.

.

When you opened the door and took a step aside, you flinched at the sudden sight of two figures. Kita and Aran.

You could only stand there frozen as they near, having left no choice but to let the inevitable be. The three now walking out as well. You don't need to look at them to know they're unfazed. Normally smug, more so with what just happened.

"Y/N." Kita nods to you, his calm look remaining even as he eyes the three besides you.

Your look as you stare at the captain is deeply apologetic, despite you want to laugh to yourself as you see the sheer knowing look of Aran and the want of the ground to just take you. "I'm so sorry." You mouthed to Kita.

Bless his heart, he only tuts his head as he merely gestures it's alright and you could go. And you do, covering your mouth in disbelief, mirth and shame as you walk away from them and back to the bleachers when you hear the captain's words to the three. "The next time you do this again, don't do it here."

[redeliminator]

Well, they did NOT survive their teenage codependent homoerotic friendship

I have the priviledge of being an adult and being able to look back on my teenage years happy that I made it out. It wasn't easy and I had my fair share of pretty dark experiences, so I've been thinking A LOT what would have happened to me if I had found myself in a position like Andre when I was 17. So I wrote it down - the story of Andre and Cal's relationship from (mostly) Andre's POV and the whole emotional turmoil of ending your life alongside your best friend. All with a couple of not-so-subtle personal throw-ins. It's a mess and a long one on top of that, I'm sorry ;__;

—

After years of living with all these thoughts you’re too scared to open up about, suddenly it turns out that your (only) lifelong friend is actually not that different. Not only doesn’t he flinch at your uncanny remarks; he actually thinks they’re spot-on and laughs at your jokes that would probably send you straight into detention.

So far, the more people learnt about you, the more they drifted away. Suddenly, it doesn’t happen. Quite the contrary, the messed up things seem to strengthen the bond instead. For the first time, someone welcomes you into their inner life just the way you are and doesn’t expect you to “mend your ways” before they let you in. You gradually uncover the parts of yourself you have never shown to anyone before. It feels like the weight of the world is lifted off your shoulders. Like it was destined to happen. It feels real.

It is not at all surprising that in the end, you brought out the worst in each other. After all, your final bond was built on the acceptance of the darkest parts of your personalities. You fed off each other to the point of lethal codependency. You were nothing without him and he was nothing without you.

It was insane. But you felt validated. Starving for someone who understands, you clung to each other and never let go.

So, when you’re standing in that library, guns slung over your shoulders and blood spilling beneath your feet, and that guy, who led you out of that lonely misery and gave your life a spark, tells you that you’re done - well, you’re done. You’d follow him anywhere because what other choice do you have? You killed people. You’re not getting away on your own. You’re not doing it without him. It’s either both of you or none of you. So you agree.

But deep inside, you know there’s so much left to say. The world is wide enough for the two of you, why wouldn’t you want to explore it? We had a plan, we were supposed to last. All of that is suddenly cut short. Just like the lives you’ve just taken. What an irony.

And suddenly you wish you had never left that car. Or that you had swerved it just before pulling into the parking lot. What the fuck are you doing?! That’s when it should have been said: I’m done. You’re done. We’re done.

You never figured out if it was platonic or romantic. You probably didn’t even know what platonic meant. But there was one thing you had no doubt about: that loving him was the easiest thing in the world.

… until it wasn’t. 

That love tripped you up just when everything you thought you wanted was only a few inches away. Suddenly, it felt like jumping into a lake only to realize that concrete bricks have been tied to your feet.

You might have been done with the revenge, but you weren’t done loving him. In fact, you barely even started. You never even fully acknowledged it. You repressed it, scared of and confused about the intricacies of your own identity and feelings.

But what are you supposed to do about it now? Where will all that love go, if you refuse to go down together? Do you even have a choice at all? You won’t make it on your own. The only choice you have is whose hand will fire the shot that will end it all. There is no “if”.

It’s pretty safe to say that you agreeing to a double suicide is a spur-of-the-moment decision. No one would think clearly when faced with this kind of choice under such circumstances. You have just taken more than a dozen innocent lives. If they catch you, it’s game over. It’s a pathetic failure.

You were supposed to escape in a blaze of glory: a getaway car, a police chase, a rain of bullets fired towards you as you take one last look in the rearview mirror knowing you’re never gonna see this town again. You’ve turned the place that destroyed you into smoldering ruins and now you kiss it goodbye. It doesn’t get better than this.

But it’s not what happens. Suddenly, as you look around the room and glance over the dead bodies, you realize the thrill is gone. The excitement has vanished into thin air. The only thing you’re hearing are police sirens and people whimpering in pain. The reality of what you’ve done and what awaits you comes crashing down on you. It’s not glorious. It’s not rewarding. It’s bleak and hopeless. It’s a dead end.

—

Andre had to tone down Cal's carelessness during the preparations. No, we’re not gonna break into Brad’s garage and risk being spotted. No, your open mic poetry evening was not a fun idea; it was inconsiderate and dangerous. No, even if we had an M-80, we wouldn’t use it for a ceremonial explosion at my family’s vacation home where everyone could see it. 

And suddenly, as they’re wandering through the school looking at the carnage they caused, the roles get reversed. It’s Cal who has to lead Andre into the grim reality. 

We’re not making it out. We can still leave on our terms though. It’s your call.

The question is, did Cal really believe they didn’t stand a chance or did he use the circumstances to get what he wanted: for both of them to die?

If Andre didn’t agree, would Cal have the guts to shoot him himself? I don’t think he would. There was only one way Cal wanted it to end. I think Cal may have had some sort of feelings for Andre, but, in a fashion similar to Andre, he didn’t know exactly what these feelings were as he never got around to disentangling them. Cal was mentally ill, heavily unstable and out of touch with reality, but I think deep inside he still had the ability to feel. He could barely connect with that part of him, but it was still there. And Andre kept it alive because he did something no one else would ever do for Cal. He provided Cal with the means to die the way he wanted. A spectacular way out. 

And Cal would be forever grateful for that, even if that “forever” would come to an end in just a matter of seconds. How do you even thank someone for a favor like this? Thanks for letting me die, even though you didn’t know I planned it? How do you find someone who you don’t even have to ask for it? Hey, what would you say if we killed a bunch of people to send some twisted message that only we understand and then we blew our brains out? 

The thing is, none of them had to ask. The idea was already there. Maybe except for the “blowing our brains out” part. In any case, this is a one in a million chance that you find someone like this.

[strniohoeee]

Labyrinth

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female reader

Synopsis: A numb and addicted y/n can’t seem to understand why her life suddenly feels different. She’s done nothing but move around in her adult years, so why is it now that she feels she can’t pack up and leave anytime soon?

Warnings⚠️: I haven’t written in over a month, so I’m super rusty this might be shitty! Cigarette smoking and mentions, mentions of addiction, mentions of alcohol. I don’t condone smoking or drinking (underage).🖤

Song for imagine: Cigarettes and Coffee- Otis Redding

Its early in the morning

About a quarter ‘til three

I’m sittin here talking with my baby

Over cigarettes and coffee

I was never one to deal with stress easily which led me to deal with it in the worst ways possible. Drinking, smoking, quitting jobs on the spot and even packing up and leaving places…..I know stupid and risky, but I never had that anchor in my life to tell me everything was going to be okay.

If I felt stressed and useless my things were packed and I was on the road to a new state. I think I was on state number 7 in about a year and a half. Who the fuck in their right mind handles stress this way? That was the million dollar question, and I had the answer…. I wasn’t in my right mind…not in the past, not in the present and undoubtedly not in the future.

After my last breakdown I landed in California precisely in Los Angeles, the city of angels. Where all your dreams and aspirations could come true. It just felt like lost paradise to me, but it’s the longest state I’ve ever stood in. For some reason I couldn’t find the power in me to leave when I got stressed. It was as if I had some unforeseen future here….a future of happiness and hope?

But the stress still gnawed at me. Will I ever have a career, will I ever be truly happy, will my parents be proud of me?How am I going to pay for next month's rent?How am I going to pay for next week's groceries?

It was a constant battle and I never severely suffered because I always found a way, but once all that was taken care of the immediate panic started again about how will I be able to do it all in the following weeks.

I started smoking constantly and it was weird because I wasn’t a smoker but I knew I should drink a little less. I only lit a cigarette when the stress was so bad I refused to drink anymore. Not like smoking was any better ruining my lungs rather than my liver….

But the problem was it went from one to two a day to five and on really bad days even up to eight. It was a bad crutch I simply couldn’t pull away from. They were my training wheels and I was so scared that once I let go I’d crash and burn.

I had an addiction and I had no one around me to slap me out of it. Of course I still spoke to my parents, but I just lied about it. I mean there’s truly no one to blame but myself, however all that regret left my mind once a lighter was in my hand and I took a long drag while the cool night breeze brushed against my skin.

I was lucky enough to have found a job almost instantly. It was a cute little coffee shop that had a small selection of books. It was a peaceful and slow paced job. We only really needed two to three people working. So I’d open at 8am and waited for the next girl to clock in at about 11am.

It was a fun job that paid the bills and my horrendous cigarette addiction. I had found a decent studio apartment nearby. But I was always convinced that this would be snatched from under my feet and I should never get comfortable. As you can expect this led to my extreme stress and anxiety.

I didn’t necessarily have friends here, I mean yes I was cool with my coworkers and boss; but we weren’t friends. It was more of a hi, bye situation. It didn’t bother me much. I was always a loner. I never really found people who got me, so I stayed with the only person who did…me.

On my days off I spent a lot of time walking around flea markets, heading into other cafes and even writing. I’d always hoped that one day I’d be a writer. My mind was always running and I figured someone out there might actually relate to and enjoy the words I’d write on a piece of paper.

Today I was actually working a small shift from 8am to 1pm. I was staring blankly at my reflection in the bathroom. Scrubbing my hands and gargling mouthwash. It was 11am and I was coming back from my break.

Spitting the mouthwash into the sink I closed the cap and stuffed the travel size bottle into my purse. Inhaling deeply I looked at myself once again.

“You have got to stop smoking” I replied in a mumble

Slipping my hand blindly into my purse I pulled out my perfume; spritzing myself before shutting the light and heading into the break room to place my purse back.

Slipping my apron on my coworker walked in, clocking in the back as she offered me a smile

“Good morning Y/N” she said as she walked towards me to place her things down

“Good morning K” I stated as I offered a smile back and began to make my way to clock back in

I wasn’t sure why her name was K, it was all over her employee paperwork. She was here before me, so I felt I had no right to ask her for her real name. But it was interesting for someone to just drop the rest of their name and solely go by a singular letter.

After punching back in I walked to the front, not a surprise it was dead. The only people lingering around were the 8am-9am crew. Sighing deeply I decided to clean up a bit.

It was about 12pm now and I was watching the clock anxiously waiting to clock out and run free. Usually I worked 8-4 and sometimes even 8-6. I had a whole day ahead of me and two days off might I add. I felt pretty invincible

Drinking from my water cup the door chimed signaling a customer. Placing the cup down I began to turn around.

“Hi welcome to Mugs” I stated as I turned around

Immediately I was intrigued. I have never seen someone as interesting before. I mean it is LA, so I have seen some interesting stuff; but no he looked different…. And for some reason I couldn’t really look away

Placing his vision glasses on top of his head he squinted his eyes to read the menu. My eyebrow raising.

“You know glasses are meant for you to see things” I said logging into the register as I looked up at him

“I’m sorry?” He said looking at me

“You um…. You put your glasses on your head and then squinted to read” I said pointing above me at the board

“Oh… well these are just blue light glasses. I genuinely can’t really see” he said in an awkward way

“Ohhh well uhh want me to read the menu to you?” I asked laughing a bit

“Oh no it’s fine, I’m not really a coffee drinker” he stated looking at our pastry display

“You do realize you’re in a Coffee shop?” I said jokingly

His mouth opened a bit and then he squinted his eyes

“I am now seeing how ridiculous I look” he said chuckling and shaking his head

“No judgment here” I said sticking my hands up in defense

“I won’t waste your time any more! Can I have a chocolate chip cookie and that bottle of Pepsi” he said pointing behind me at the small fridge

“One Pepsi and one cookie, coming right up” I said checking him out on the screen

Grabbing the cookie and bottle of soda I placed it on the counter and slid it towards him.

“You can tap or insert your card whenever you’re ready” I stated clicking some buttons on my screen

“I’m uhh actually paying cash” he said fishing in his wallet

“Woahhh cash in this century?” I said giggling and fixing the system

“Yeahh I carry a little bit of cash and little bit of card” he said shrugging his shoulders

“A little bit of card….hmm…that’s funny” I said giggling a bit at him

“Well you know what I mean” he says playfully rolling his eyes

“I’m just messing with you” I said shaking my head

Smiling he handed the cash over and grabbed his items

“Keep the change” he said waving with his hand and nodding his head

Walking out the door I couldn’t seem to understand why I had a stupid smile on my face. Putting the cash in the till and placing the change in our tip jar.

Turning around I was met with my two coworkers staring at me with a smirk on their face. I’d never been the spotlight of attention and I’ve never gotten anything other than a good morning from either of them. So my face dropped and I got self conscious

“What?” I said a bit scared as I straightened my posture

“He was totally into you” K stated as she placed the rack of cookies down

“Was not! We were just making friendly conversations” I said opening the pastry shelf and putting some cookies in

“No no I agree with K we’ve had a lot of guys come in here, but this is the first time I’ve seen a guy like utter more than two words to you and he was totally geeking out” Delilah stated

“Totally! That kid was blushing like crazyyy” K stated as she grabbed the now empty tray and began to walk back towards the kitchen

“Guys come on! It was just friendly banter” I said shutting the pastry door

“Delilah knows her shit too, that’s how Danny and I got together” K stated from the kitchen

“Shut up! No way” I said rolling my eyes

“Sure did! As soon as we had an interaction K told me he’d be back for my number, and that was three years ago” K replied

“You just got lucky this was nothing but mere coincidence” I replied back to them

“You’ll see girl” Delilah stated as she began to make herself a coffee

Playfully rolling my eyes I checked the clock, I had about 10 minutes till my shift was over. I decided to make myself a drink.

As I made my iced latte I began to wonder. I didn’t really have many interactions with guys, but I think I’d know if someone was flirting with me.

It just felt like a friendly banter with an awkwardly shy….nerdy guy. Laughing to myself I finished making my drink.

“Alright girls I’m going to clock out now” I stated as I walked to the back

Punching out and grabbing my things I slid my apron off and grabbed my drink. Heading towards the front of the cafe

I waved bye to the girls as I took a sip.

“Have a good day girls” I said as I walked out

I had the whole day ahead of me and I didn’t even know what I wanted to do. My job was near a pier where I could always sit down and watch people.

Before heading to the pier I decided to stop for some food. Heading into a small restaurant I sat down. Taking my book out of my purse I began to write. I hadn’t written in two weeks and it felt wrong.

Ghosting my hand over the paper, my mind just kept going blank. I couldn’t form a proper sentence and my mind began to race again. Thinking back on that boy I began to think about my love life.

Honestly I didn’t really have one, I was more of a hopeless romantic. Often watching rom coms and rolling my eyes at how unrealistic that love was. I’m sure it was tangible, but I was just a sour puss.

I longed for a relationship like that to always know you’ll have someone there for you loving you unconditionally. To be with someone through sickness and in health. I was only 22, but it seemed to me that everyone around me already had that amazing soulmate. I was very clearly late to the game and I wasn’t sure if I’d ever find someone to love. I wasn’t even sure I was lovable myself.

Then again I never put myself out there, but times have changed. It's not that easy. Guys have become so shitty and all they care about it sex. But it’s like what about getting to know the person deep down.

Not once has a guy ever asked me my dreams and aspirations, where do I see myself in five years? What are my biggest goals in life? What’s my biggest fear….. I lost all hope for love by the time I was 18.

Reading romantic stories and watching these shows and movies definitely added salt to the wound.

I hadn’t realized how much I was writing till my hand began to cramp. Looking up I realized it was no longer daytime.

“Shit” I muttered under my breath

Slamming my book shut I paid my bill and began to gather my things. Walking out of the restaurant I stepped out onto the golden street. It was about 5:45 and I really couldn’t understand how that much time had passed.

I think that’s why I enjoy writing the most, I’m so far gone in my own world it’s like I’m frozen and the world around me continues to move.

Walking towards the pier it was surprisingly empty at this time. Breathing in the salty air I sat down on a bench. Watching the ocean I let the breeze blow through my hair.

Digging in my purse I pulled out my pack of American Spirits. Sighing deeply I pulled a cigarette out. As soon as I grabbed my lighter all the regret washed away from me.

Placing the white object in between my lips I flicked the lighter a few times before a glowing flame appeared before me. Guarding the flame from the wind I brought it closer.

Inhaling as I lit the cigarette all my worries washed away. This was only my second cigarette of the day and I somehow felt accomplished.

Kicking the gravel underneath me I took a long drag, exhaling I got up. Walking over to the edge of the pier I decided to sit down allowing my legs to hang off the edge.

I wasn’t 100% sure I could do this, but it’s worth a shot I thought to myself. Leaning my chin on the railing I took another drag as I stared into the sunset.

Life was so beautiful and I wasn’t sure why I was so sad and numb all the time. I took a lot for granted and I hated it.

I really needed to stop smoking.

“You know those things will kill you” I heard from behind me

My brows began to furrow as I took a drag

“I’m sorry?” I said annoyed as I looked behind me, blowing the smoke out through my nose as my face dropped

“You shouldn’t smoke” he said again with a cheeky smile on his face

Meeting eyes with the same guy from the cafe made my heart skip a beat and my throat go dry.

“Squinting your eyes is also bad for you” I said putting the cigarette out

“Won’t kill me though” he said shrugging his shoulders

“You never know” I said shrugging my shoulders and standing up

His eyes followed me as I got up and it was only then did I feel super self conscious about this whole situation. My embarrassment turned a bit into anger.

“Anyways you drink Pepsi, so that for sure will kill you” I said as I dusted my pants off

“Guess we’ll both be dead then” he replied

“Wow you’re super blunt” I said scoffing

“Sorry! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to come off rude. I was just playfully teasing” he said looking nervous

Looking at him for a split second and I sniffed and then rolled my eyes

“It’s fine. It’s a bad habit anyways” I replied shrugging my shoulders

“We all have bad habits we’re not proud of” he said in a whisper

“Are you uhh following me?” I asked him cocking an eyebrow

“What? No oh my god no! I was just walking and I thought you looked super familiar” he replied putting his hands up in defense

“I’m just teasing you” I said giggling

“I’m Matt” he replied placing his hand out for me to shake

“I’m Y/N” I stated as I shook his hand

“It’s nice to formally meet you” he said awkwardly

“Yeah” I replied awkwardly

“I’ll uh… ill let you go on about your business. Maybe I’ll see you around” He said

“Well you know where to find me” I said smiling at him

Opening my bag I was digging around for my phone before successfully pulling it out.

“Right, well have a good evening” he said and waved shyly

“I’ll see you round Matt” I replied

Going our separate ways I looked down at my phone, 6:55pm…. Sighing, I walked back to my car close to the cafe and drove home.

Shuffling up the stairs I pushed my apartment door open after unlocking it. Making note that I must call the maintenance guy because that door needs some WD40 badly.

Locking the door I turned my lights on. Today just felt strange like I couldn’t put my finger in exactly what the fuck was going on.

Walking over to my patio I opened the sliding door and stepped out. Taking in the evening breeze my mind just went blank.

Stepping back inside I grabbed my purse, grabbing my lighter I shuffled my hand around my purse to feel for my pack of cigarettes. But my brows furrowed when I didn’t feel the square container.

Walking over towards the light I opened my bag more and looked inside. An annoyed feeling washed over me as I couldn’t find the box. I mean honestly good because I did not need anymore.

Still searching as if the box was going to magically appear. I groaned soon realizing I must’ve left them on the bench and they are for a fact long gone by now.

Throwing my lighter back into my purse I groaned and sat on my couch. The one time I desperately need a cigarette I fucking left it on the pier.

I cut that night short with a 80s movie marathon and left over pizza as a midnight snack.

remembering that tomorrow I had to stop into the cafe to pick up my paycheck. We’re living in a very digital world right now and my job still does paper checks….

Groaning at that I decided to call it a night….

The End

Okayyy IVE BEEN GONE FOR SOOO FUCKING LONG. And I’m sooo sorry it’s just life has been so crazy since March! However this was the end of part 1….stay tuned for more🥺🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[bvidzsoo]

Love Me Like A Rockstar (2)

ー☆ Chapter 2: RunRunRun

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

ー☆ Warning: cussing really ー☆ Word count: 6.6k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆ Rating: sfw ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Hihi, second chapter is out!! I hope you all enjoy it and leave feedback, I really really appreciate that!! Taglist is still open for those interested. Do not forget to check out the playlist and listen to the song before or while reading (RunRunRun)!! Thank you. Now, enjoy!

Taglist: @orshii @lovely-red2 @juicy-red @scarfac3 @sunaswifes-blog

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

『I always thought it would be easy (easy)

To get you out my mind (mind)』

            Certainly my sleep could’ve been more peaceful, but after the shit I pulled—drew Mingi’s eyes, for fuck’s sake—I knew I was in for a long night of overthinking and overanalyzing everything. Just for a second I allowed myself to place aside all judgement and foulness I felt towards the smug prick and, yes, admitted, that perhaps he wasn’t too bad to look at. Not a little bit, not even at all. However, this thought unsettled me and quickly made me remember how my blood boiled and nerves rose caused by his stuck-up attitude and irritating smirk. He was an asshole full of himself, and there was no way in hell I would allow his mild handsomeness overshadow his good for nothing personality. Guys like him were only by your side for a short while, while the relationship would feel new and exciting, and after that they dip like you have never even existed on the surface of Earth. That thought alone made me groan last night and punch a pillow before I finally willed my mind to calm down and erase the knowledge of his existence—or of the very obvious drawing of his eyes in my sketchbook, which I started considering my journal at some point.

If the lack of sleep wasn’t enough to put me in a sour mood, then the chilly air of the morning certainly made me grit my teeth as I stormed back inside the house to grab my beige and maroon plaid flannel shirt before running off to catch the bus to university. Currently, Seulgi and I were sat in the cafeteria enjoying our lunches—well, she was, my appetite never found me today—as I chewed the last bits of my quite simple sandwich I have packed in a haste this morning, Seulgi’s mouth, despite being full, was constantly moving and spouting information after information. I was only half-heartedly listening to her at this point—I swear to God, Wooyoung has been the center of our conversation for the past half an hour—as I held my pencil between my fingers and mindlessly doodled in my sketchbook. I wasn’t drawing anything particular, just random shapes which my brain felt necessary to draw as Seulgi suddenly hiccupped, face turning red. I cast her a glance as she quickly opened her bottle of water and chugged down at least half of its contents.

“Are you good?” I asked amused as she fanned her face.

“I think I almost just died.” Her answer made me snort as I grabbed the apple off my tray and bit into it, almost instantly regretting it as I was never a fan of apples.

“No wonder, you keep talking with your mouth full.” I muttered and Seulgi rolled her eyes as she went back to eating her lunch, smiling to herself like an idiot. I rolled my eyes but basked in the silence, finally able to have a little bit of peace of mind. I loved Seulgi and her random rambles, but not when they were about Wooyoung. And lately he seemed to be the only thing she talked about.

“Did you get to rest last night?” She asked as she gulped down her soup, eyebrows furrowed as she took in my appearance, seemingly finally aware that I looked tired. I shook my head with a sigh and turned the page of my sketchbook as I have filled the other one with shapes. Seulgi glanced down at the clean page and grimaced, leaning in closer towards me, “Just how stressed are you right now? That’ll be your third page in the past fifteen minutes.”

“I’m not really stressed,” I corrected her, taking another bite of the apple and regretting it again, “I’m just bored and probably restless.”

“Why?” Seulgi inquired and I shrugged, pressing the pencil against the white sheet of paper and carefully starting to draw sharp and precise lines.

“Don’t know,” I muttered, eyebrows furrowing when suddenly the cafeteria was filled with noise as if a whole crowd entered it, “Mom says it’s the full moon.”

“That was like…almost two weeks ago.” Seulgi gave me a deadpanned look and I chuckled, shrugging again. I most certainly wasn’t going to tell her that I haven’t slept well last night because I drew Mingi’s eyes and then freaked out over it, and was still pretty much freaking out about it, because I didn’t know what this meant and why it happened. And I really didn’t want to find out as I mindlessly pressed a small but firm dot underneath the lines I drew on the left side of the paper.

“I don’t know then, Seulgi, you know I have periods when I can’t sleep.” Seulgi hummed at my response and then a coy smile made its way onto her lips and I raised my eyebrows, pressing her to go on and tell me what was on her mind.

“What did you think of Noir Zenith?” I didn’t want to talk about this.

“They were fine.” I answered boredly, drawing a small semi-circle underneath the sharp lines, “Nothing too impressive. I’m now convinced you only like them because of Wooyoung.”

“Stop!” Seulgi shushed me with a blush and pointed her fork at me threateningly, “I actually enjoy their music, alright?! I liked the band before I started liking Wooyoung, so stop being mean.”

“Whatever,” I stuck my tongue out at her as I added a bit of shading to the drawing, “I expected their music to be worse, that I’ll admit, however, I only vibed with Seonghwa and Wooyoung—”

“Yeah, you made that very clear, Y/N.” Seulgi cut me off with a sharp tone and it brought a sheepish smile onto my lips as I was about to take another bite of my apple just as I narrowed my eyes at the drawing, staring at it for a second longer. And then it clicked. Fuck. I quickly shut my sketchbook closed as I threw my pencil on the table, groaning loudly. I couldn’t believe it. Why was I doing this? Why was I drawing Mingi’s eyes again?

『I think I found a new addiction

It feels so right』

“What?” Seulgi asked confused as she gazed at my closed sketchbook.

“Nothing.” I muttered lowly, banging my head against the table once before taking another bite of my apple, trying to ignore the way my heart started to race. There must be something about his eyes if my brain decided to burn it into its memory and recall it at any given time my pencil touched a piece of paper as I let loose to draw mindlessly.

“You’ve been acting weird all day long, Y/N.” Seulgi raised an eyebrow and I sighed, slouching down in my seat as suddenly there was a roar of cheers. I wasn’t interested at all to know what was happening behind me; therefore I found no desire in myself to turn around and look. It was probably the football team or some noisy first year’s having a little bit too much fun in the cafeteria while they totally disregard that, perhaps, some people would like to hear their own thoughts while given a longer break from their studies. My lips pulled into a sneer and I almost turned around to find the culprits I could glower at, but Seulgi found her voice again now that she was done with her lunch, “Wooyoung complimented my outfit twice last night, Y/N, twice! I was seriously freaking out!”

“Oh, wow,” I muttered unimpressed, not having it in me to tell her that she’s told me that information three times now, “and yet you kept stressing about it.”

“I couldn’t help myself,” Seulgi pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, “I was so nervous. It was the first time he invited me to their performance—”

“Haven’t you seen them countless of times before last night?” I asked with narrowed eyes and Seulgi rolled her eyes with a tsk.

“But this was different, Y/N, you’re so impossible I don’t even know why I’m telling you all of this—”

“Yeah, me neither.” I gaped at her fakely, making Seulgi roll her eyes, “This is the third time I’m hearing everything, Seulgi.”

“Well, sorry for being excited about my crush finally showing interest in me.” Seulgi’s voice hardened as she snapped and I pouted, knowing that I have upset her. She threw me a glare as she grabbed her phone, acting uninterested as I reached over the table and softly gripped her wrist. I knew she couldn’t resist when I acted cute.

“Sorry, you know I’m cranky when I don’t sleep, don’t get mad.” I coerced her with a sweet voice and she just spared me a glance before going back to her phone. I sighed dramatically and retreated my hand, falling back into my chair and groaning as I closed my eyes briefly. My muscles were sore from sitting almost all day long, and my eyes hurt from too much light and staring at my sketchbook even when it wasn’t necessary. I opened my eyes and allowed them to roam over the cafeteria as I decided to quickly finish the little apple I have left over and took in the students around us. All groups were enjoying their free time quietly, speaking amongst themselves in a moderate tone, not loud enough to disturb anyone, yet there was one fucking table which just wouldn’t shut up, and fed up with it, I whirled around in my chair and searched for them, nose flaring in irritation. However, when my eyes landed on the culprits, my heart fell into my ass and my jaw clenched as I allowed the vicious glare to overtake my features as I sent daggers towards them. There he sat. At the table closest to the entrance, clad in a much more casual outfit compared to last night with sunglasses obscuring his view—who the fuck wears sunglasses inside—as he was surrounded by at least five girls. Mingi was leaning back in his chair, body falling against it awkwardly as his limbs were too long for it, legs spread out wide as he currently had his hands behind his head, smirking up at the blonde girl from the pub. Huh, so she goes to our university, should’ve expected that.

“Disgusting.” I sneered quietly, enticed by the view as my body wallowed in irritation, hatred and disgust, wishing for nothing more than to slam my sketchbook against Mingi’s head and scream the most creative profanities in his face. He was just asking for it with his smug face and shit eating grin, acting like he was a God, above everyone else, making girls swoon for his ass when he wasn’t even all that great.

“What’s—oh.” Seulgi cut herself off once her eyes followed my gaze and she chuckled. I could see her raise an eyebrow from the corner of my eyes as she watched me before looking back at Mingi, leaning back in her chair as she crossed her arms in front of her chest, “You never explained why you hate him so much.”

“Ugh, just look at him!” That was all Seulgi had to say to set me off, “He’s self-centered and conceited! He’s a jerk and he treats everyone else like they are less than him, and oh, my God, don’t even get me started about his stupid smirk which screams, ‘oh, look! I’m better than you ever will be, and by the way, you’re dumb as fuck!’, God, I hate the guy.”

Seulgi’s eyebrows went up to her hairline that’s how high they were raised as I turned around to look at her, having seen enough of Mingi’s stupid side profile as he smirked and laughed at every stupid thing those girls were probably saying to him, “Okay, Miss I hate his pants so much I can’t stop staring at him; that was intense, what the fuck. Poor Mingi, he didn’t even do anything to you and here you are—dragging his ass like he killed your cat or something, Y/N.”

“That would be the last straw—”

“You don’t even have a cat.” Seulgi deadpanned and I sighed exasperated, throwing an irritated smile her way. She was supposed to be on my side, not defending an asshole when she could clearly see how much distaste I had towards him.

“Whatever, I just can’t stand him, alright?” I muttered at last with a huff and Seulgi cocked an eyebrow as her phone pinged, quickly looking down at it. Her mouth instantly stretched into a huge smile and she started bouncing her legs up and down as she slapped the table once very loudly.

“I’m about to die—” She took a deep breath as she squealed quietly, looking at me like she has won the lottery or something, “Wooyoung finally asked me to hang out!”

I smiled at my best friend, happy that things were going well for her, “So, it’s a date then?”

“Not yet.” She smiled as she was texting back, biting her lower lip with a huge smile on her face, “But perhaps soon.”

“Oh, he better ask you out soon,” I muttered just as another roar of squealing disturbed my pace of mind and I have reached my limit for today, that was it, “Or I’ll make him regret being born.”

Seulgi cackled at that as I grabbed my sketchbook and pencil and showed them inside my backpack, “Y/N! That’s too much, don’t you think—Where are you going?”

“Class.” I answered curtly, throwing my flannel shirt around my exposed shoulders as I wore a dark blue off-shoulder long sleeved blouse, paired with black ripped jeans and fishnets underneath.

“We’ve got like ten more minutes until then—”

“Yeah, but if I hear Mingi’s bitches squealing again in the next three seconds I might go ahead and jump out the fucking window.” I deadpanned and Seulgi bit her lower lip as it quivered, threatening to burst out into laughter. It wasn’t funny, and so, I gave her a harmless glare.

“Oh, God, you’re impossible. I can’t believe you’re this cranky.” She said as she finally started laughing.

“This isn’t me being cranky, this is me being irritated by someone’s whole ass existence, anyways, see you!” I called as I took off before Seulgi could say anything else, I knew she’d be following me soon after as we had to walk to the other side of campus to reach the Art’s building.

『Run, baby, run

Run for your life

I'ma tear out your heart

It'll always be mine』

I steeled my expression and pushed my shoulders back as I took off towards the exit, gripping the straps of my backpack tightly. The closer I got to it—which meant I was also getting closer and closer to the table Mingi sat at—the louder those girls voices got. Anyone close enough could hear what they were screaming about—okay, they weren’t screaming, but they were loud—and it made me bite my lower lip as I started tapping my finger against the strap of the backpack, trying to calm my nerves. But Mingi was just sitting there, basking in the attention, grinning and laughing loudly at the very shitty and poor attempts of flirting of the girls, and I really didn’t mean to, but my eyes landed on them and my jaw fell a little bit open when I noticed him signing some stupid looking banner with his face plastered all over it as a black-haired girl was gushing about his looks and deep voice. Where the hell were we? Highschool?! I knew Seulgi was praying right now to all the existing Gods and asking them to let me pass by their table without no disturbances, but that just wasn’t possible as my cheeks flushed in disgust and anger, shooting a sharp glare at the side of Mingi’s face.

“Even your autograph is pretty.” One of the girl’s sighed dreamily, “Can you get any more perfect?”

“Oh, angel, you haven’t even seen everything and you’re already head over heels for me?” Mingi’s voice dropped a few octaves as he blinked up at the girl seductively and I might have as well thrown up in my mouth. I scoffed as I passed behind him, stomping my feet perhaps a little bit too hard as I noticed two girls glance my way.

“Assuming things once again, aren’t you?” My tone was snappy and ice cold as I threw in the comment in passing. I didn’t intend on stopping, but Mingi’s instant reply made me halt.

“Insulting others once again, aren’t you?” I huffed quietly as I bit my lower lip, whirling around. For a second I was taken aback by the unimpressed looks thrown my way by the girls, but I didn’t let it show on my face.

“Only those worthy of getting put in their places, Mingi.” I allowed a cheeky smile slip onto my lips as I stared him down, his eyebrows slightly furrowing. I was surprised to see the dark eyeshadow give more depth at the outer corner of his eyes, the makeup being absent last night. His lips were shiny and you could see the blemishes clearly on his jawline now, his black hair still covering his forehead messily. His grey jumper was oversized and reached mid-thigh over his denim jeans; matching jacket draped around his chair.

“Isn’t it a delight seeing you today as well, Y/N.” Mingi’s tone was mocking as he raised one eyebrow, making me roll my eyes, “Good morning.”

“My morning was good until I heard your puppets and you giggling as if we were in highschool—and it’s noon, Mingi, thought you were smart enough to know lunch time was during noon.”

“What’s your problem?” The blonde snapped and placed a possessive hand on Mingi’s shoulder, which made him cast her a side glance. His lips twitched, and for a second—just a little second—I was able to see the irritation in his eyes at the unwanted touch; it almost made me furrow my eyebrows and throw a questioning glance at Mingi, but I stopped myself. I was certainly misreading his expressions. He loved this, the attention and praises. He was pathetic.

“You and the dude you’re worshiping as if he were a Greek God—” I sighed dramatically, leaning down a little as I made eye contact with Mingi, “Get over yourself.”

It made him chuckle and his nose scrunched up, eyes slightly becoming smaller, but there was no humor in the sound he made, “At least they don’t show up to a performance without knowing the artists and start shitting on them unwarranted, insulting them as if they were superior to them. I say you’ve got something to learn from these girls, Y/N.”

I scoffed and crossed my arms in front of my chest, “Yeah, like what? How to pucker my lips and bat my eyelashes at you to gain your attention? Or throw in cringey flirting and nonconsensual touches?” 

The girls seemed shocked as I threw them all a glare before my gaze landed on the embarrassing banner as I felt Mingi’s heated gaze on my face. He didn’t say anything as his jaw clenched, palms balling up into fists. My eyes fell back on him and our gazes locked, both of us annoyed at this point, as we stared each other down, glares molding into one sharp look as we both refused to look away first. If he thought I was going to back down, he was wrong. His sharp eyes were narrow as a fierce look glazed over them, and for a split second, my eyes fell on the mole underneath his right eye. The drawing I was doodling not even half an hour ago flashed in my mind and I clicked my tongue, suddenly irritated with myself and with Mingi for getting to me so easily.

『Oh, there she go

Losing my head』

“Your silence says everything I needed to know—”

“Don’t get too cocky, smarty pants, silence speaks louder at times and you’re down right embarrassing yourself right now.” My jaw hung open at Mingi’s next words, which were harsh and hissed out as his raspy voice reached my ears, and I sneered at him.

“The only embarrassing one here,” I looked around, “are your puppets, bro. And that fucking shit ass banner.”

Before anyone could say anything I whirled around and stormed off, aware that Seulgi had seen the exchange from afar and was up on her feet, basically scurrying around to gather her things and come to the rescue of Mingi. I just knew she’d have his back and I really didn’t have the energy to sit around and listen to her chastise me in front of him and his baboons. However, I did hear the girls throwing insults after me, Mingi remaining an awful lot silent. It’s not like he could’ve said anything. And I knew he wished to say them to my face, to see the rise he got out of me. I scoffed as I stormed out the building, wanting to let out a frustrated cry in the meantime.

『Please don't waste any time

The sirens are turning red

I found a whole another vice』

            It had gotten dark outside by the time Seulgi and I headed to our curricular art class, fog slowly settling upon our little town as the lampposts illuminated the dark streets, casting an aery yet comforting feeling. I would have to walk home later tonight, but I found the thought relaxing and much needed after the tumultuous day I have had. I couldn’t stand still all day after the encounter with Mingi and his baboons, I couldn’t help but mull over his words over and over again, so much so, that I got called out in one of the classes by the professor. It was embarrassing, but what was even more embarrassing was that one of the girl’s from the table shared three classes with me and kept sending me unwanted glares, pissing me off to no end. If Seulgi wouldn’t have been by my side the whole day, I probably would’ve confronted the girl and cussed her out, ruining my image more in her eyes, if that was even possible.

I was slouched forward, chin resting on my palm and elbow pressing into my thigh as I listened to Seulgi ramble on about how her hangout with Wooyoung went. Her cheeks had a constant flush on them and I grinned as she sucked in a deep breath as she desperately needed it after talking for a few good minutes without stopping.

“And he bought me coffee too even though I never asked,” She bit her lip, trying to contain herself, “He was waiting for me with it in his hands.”

“That’s sweet of him.” I mumbled and looked behind Seulgi, looking out towards the class. Today not many could make, there was a total of five students sitting around the room, working diligently on their sketches. Today’s theme was the human body, a shape or an outline of your choice. It could be a face, a body, or a shadow like figure. Everyone had free reign of choosing the style as long as it was a human shape.

“I know, and his hands were freezing cold,” Seulgi gushed, “So, I gave him my gloves.”

“The Hello Kitty ones?” I asked with a quiet chuckle, turning the pencil over in my hands. I was itching to get started on our assignment, but Seulgi was on her rant once again and I didn’t want to interrupt her again. I have felt bad all day long for upsetting her in the cafeteria; I shouldn’t ruin her mood just because I’m cranky myself.

“Yes!” Seulgi laughed while covering her mouth, “And he looked so cute wearing them, Y/N! We couldn’t stop giggling about it. Pink might be his color.”

“You should’ve dared him to wear something pink at their next performance.” I added with a chuckle, making Seulgi giggle as her cheeks flushed even a darker shade of red. If she kept up with this, her whole face would turn red and she’d look like a tomato.

“I don’t think that would fit the whole rocker concept they have going on.” She muttered with a chuckle and I just shrugged, glancing at my bare paper. I hoped Seulgi would get the hint that I really wanted to start drawing now, but she opened her mouth again.

“He suggested we take a selfie—” Seulgi let out a dreamy sigh, “I don’t think I have enough self-control to not set it as my lock screen.”

“Wouldn’t that be too fast?” I wondered, raising an eyebrow at her. Seulgi nodded, looking slightly defeated.

“It would, I just hope the day will come when I’ll be able to do so.” Her voice got quieter as she looked down at the ground and I didn’t like the sudden drop of confidence. So, I grabbed her shoulder and gave it a squeeze, smiling at her encouragingly.

“It will come, stop doubting everything and just go with the flow.” I offered her a big smile, “I know Wooyoung is a generally nice guy, but his kindness feels different with you. It’s sweet.”

“Stop.” Seulgi hushed me, lightly slapping my arm, “You’re feeding into my delusions, I don’t want to get hurt if things really don’t end well.”

“Have some faith in him, yeah?” I slapped my hands together as I straightened in my seat, glancing at Seulgi’s usual spot, “Shouldn’t you start drawing, though? We’ve got an hour only today.”

“Shit!” Seulgi exclaimed loudly as if she just remembered where we were and what we were doing, “I totally forgot what I’m supposed to be doing right now, this is embarrassing.”

“Off you go!” I shooed her off with a laugh and Seulgi scrambled to her place, face red as she quickly tied her long hair in a low ponytail, eyebrows furrowing as she opened her sketchbook. Despite Wooyoung being the only thing on her mind, I knew she wouldn’t be drawing him. Seulgi was spontaneous and very creative. She found it easy to draw whatever was on her mind, whether it was human shaped, abstract, or a landscape. She had a natural talent when it came to human figures and she absolutely loved drawing anyone whom she had in mind. Which was the opposite of me. I couldn’t draw just anyone. It took me lots of hours of studying and tracing ones features with imaginary lines, mapping out their faces and bodies in my mind carefully before putting them on paper. I needed a muse when it came to drawing humans, and before dating Yunho, I never even had one. Before dating Yunho, I could barely draw an eye. During our relationship I learned many things about myself, and one of them was that I needed to hyper fixate on something—or someone—if I wanted to place them on a paper. It wasn’t obsession, I wouldn’t call it that, it simply was something I found beautiful and inspiring enough to put on paper. I usually did it mindlessly too, used to always drawing Yunho when it came to this subject, so I didn’t bat an eyelash as I relaxed my muscles and allowed my mind to rest as my hand took over, bravely creating lines on the blank paper.

『I always thought it would be easy (easy)

To get you out my mind (mind)』

However, to my utter shock, it didn’t take long for me to realize that the man in my drawing, even by its simple outlines, wasn’t Yunho. It looked nothing like him. My quiet thoughts started to get louder and louder the longer I allowed my hand to trace new lines, go over the older ones and bolden them. Shadows casted over the sharp eyes as I traced the outline of their tall nose, eyebrows scrunching when it seemed like the man was glaring back at me. I couldn’t help but glare back, repulsed by the nagging name ringing through my mind the second I placed the mole underneath his right eye. Mingi. Song Mingi. I didn’t want to admit it. This wasn’t him. The man in my drawing wasn’t Song Mingi. It looked nothing like him. It was pure coincidence that his nose and eyes and moles were in the same spot as Mingi’s. My hand faltered and grip tightened around the pencil once I got to draw the lips, wondering whether I wanted to finish this sketch today—or any other day at all. Deep down I knew I didn’t, but I also hated leaving my works unfinished and there was something deep inside me telling me to suck it up, to stop being childish. It was just a damn drawing. It meant nothing. It really didn’t. Especially since I couldn’t stand him. His annoying stupid smirk. My jaw clenched when Mingi’s smug face stared back at me, almost as if my brain took a picture of his face during lunch break and decided to taunt me by recalling every single detail as I worked diligently.

『I think I found a new addiction

It feels so right』

I have long finished the drawing, giving up to finishing it thoroughly as I felt my muscles spasm just at the thought of perfecting Mingi’s face in my own sketchbook. Anyone could see this. Hell, the other students in this class could ask me to show them my drawing for some inspiration and then I’d be fucked. There’s no way others didn’t know about Mingi and his band. Perhaps I had been the only one living under a rock this whole time, oblivious to the music department and their endeavors at our university. And if word got out that I started drawing Song Mingi, I’d rather die than face him ever again. That simply just wasn’t possible. I refused to even entertain such thought. I’d rather draw my ex of five years and have others think I still wasn’t over him—I seriously am—and bash me for living in the past than start talking about my—inexistent—crush on Song Mingi. The shuffling of papers and sudden movement of others in the room brought me out of my glaring contest with the fake Mingi on my paper and I turned around when I heard my name being called out.

“Could you check this out for me?” Jake, a second-year student, asked shyly. I nodded with a smile and got off my stool, stretching, before I headed his way. He wasn’t an art major, but he apparently had always enjoyed drawing, so he joined our little club. His skills were pretty good, but he still had a lot to learn. As I stopped by his desk, I was met with the face of a girl. She was smiling brightly and the drawing was really good, the shading lacked, but that wasn’t such a big problem.

“Oh, this one is really good, Jake. You’ve gotten a lot better lately.” I offered him an encouraging smile as I patted his back, “Maybe adding a bit more shading next time will do the trick better, hm?”

“Thanks!” Jake beamed as he started gathering his stuff, making me nod as Krystal, a classmate of Seulgi and I, beckoned me over.

“I suck at human shapes, you know that.” She said with a sharp chuckle, lips pulled into a grimace as she slowly turned her sketch around. Yeah, Krystal was really bad at human shapes but it wasn’t something to get judged for. Drawing humans was very difficult and I couldn’t blame her for struggling with it, when, I, myself struggled most of times. However, this drawing presented itself as her best so far.

“This is amazing, Krystal, what are you talking about?!” I exclaimed as I gaped at the outline of two girls leaning onto each other, hugging around the shoulders. One of them was taller and the other one had longer and lighter hair. It must’ve been her older sister and her in the drawing. Their faces weren’t detailed or defined, but their shapes were very beautiful and precise.

“Good, God, I never struggled this hard in my life before.” She said with a sigh and got off her stool as Jake and Yunjin waved goodbye and left. Seulgi bounced over, curious to see Krystal’s drawing, and squealed when she saw it.

“You have to show this to Professor Yoon!” Seulgi exclaimed, “He’ll pass you in a second straight to next year’s class.”

Her comment got Krystal laughing and I shook my head as I walked away once I noticed Yiren struggled packing her stuff away. She was the youngest in our club and a little clumsy, always bumping into things and dropping paint on the floor whenever we were painting. She thanked me quietly as she scrambled around to pack her things and then rushed away shyly, quietly thanking me as she ran out the door. I stopped for a second and wondered why she always looked so intimidated by me. Seulgi walked up to her desk and started putting her things away as well as I walked back to my place, grabbing my backpack to put my pencils away. Krystal and Wheein greeted us in unison before walking out the door, leaving Seulgi and I alone. She approached me with a huge grin on her face, dangling her drawing carelessly between her fingers. I chuckled as I watched her, raising an eyebrow, “Who did you draw?”

“Oh, Joohyun!” Seulgi grinned and showed me her drawing eagerly, her cousin’s face staring back at me as she was laughing hard. I could hear Joohyun’s cackling laughter echo in my head and I smiled at the drawing, missing the girl. She was a few years older than us and had moved away to a different country in order to pursue her modelling career. Seulgi and Joohyun were like sisters, and being Seulgi’s best friend, I had the pleasure of meeting the phenomenal woman her cousin was.

“This is so gorgeous, Seulgi.” I said with a pout and a sigh, “You made me miss Joohyun now.”

“She’s visiting in two months!” Seulgi exclaimed, the news sweeping excitement into my veins as my eyes widened.

“Really?!”

“Yes!” Seulgi grinned, closing her sketchbook, “I can’t wait for us to hang out, it’s been too long since we’ve seen Joohyun.”

“Indeed.” I sighed and picked up the rubber I have dropped like an hour ago, “I also wish I had your skills when it comes to drawing human shapes.”

“Why? So that you can draw Yunho better?” Seulgi’s cackle wasn’t malicious but there was slight judgement in her eyes as I rolled mine.

“You’re so funny today, have I already told you?” I mocked her and Seulgi huffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“What? Tell me I’m wrong.” But before I could tell her she was wrong, she was speaking again, “I know you drew him again, Y/N.”

“I didn’t!” My response was too fast and defensive and I regretted speaking up the second I saw Seulgi’s eyes flash with interest.

“You didn’t draw Yunho?” She asked shocked, not even bothering to hide it. I sighed lowly, awaiting the questions tumbling off her lips for the next thirty minutes, “Who is it then?”

“No one important.” I muttered, eyes falling on the drawing, making me realize that I had to put it away before Seulgi got the chance of seeing it. I wouldn’t live another day if she got even a glimpse of it, “Let’s go.”

But as I reached for the sketchbook, Seulgi slapped my hand away hard—it started stinging instantly—and ripped my sketchbook off the drafting board. Her eyebrows furrowed for a second as her eyes took in the drawing, and then, a loud gasp left her lips as her eyes shot up, staring at me wide eyed, confusion written all over her face.

『Run, baby, run

Run for your life

Gonna tear out your heart

It'll always be mine』

“This isn’t Yunho—”

“I told you—”

“Bitch, this is Song fucking Mingi?!” Seulgi’s voice raised and I gulped, mentally preparing myself for the screaming and nagging to follow. But Seulgi sounded an awful lot composed despite the various emotions written all over her face, “What is Song Mingi doing in your drawing?”

“That’s not Song Mingi.” Was the best I could do as I scoffed, gripping the sketchbook as I tried to yank it out of her hands, but Seulgi was gripping it firmly.

“Yeah, sure, and I’m fucking blind then—” Seulgi rolled her eyes before giving me a deadpan look, “This is Mingi, Y/N, you’re not bullshitting your way out of this. Now, explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain.” I didn’t mean to snap, but it happened, “It’s not Mingi. Why the hell would I even draw that fucker? It’s just a random face which popped into my head and I drew it mindlessly, alright? Maybe it looks like Mingi, but it’s not him.”

“Yeah, sure, and I’m the fucking Pope in Vatican—”

“Seulgi!” I snapped and tugged on the sketchbook again, finally getting her to release it. She didn’t seem too impressed as I quickly shut the sketchbook and grabbed my backpack, slinging it over my shoulder, “Shut up and let’s just go.”

“The hell am I shutting up, bitch.” Seulgi scoffed as she got her backpack too, “That’s Mingi and you can’t gaslight me with this one. Are you into him—”

“Oh, my God!” I exclaimed with disgust ridden all over my face, “Do you even hear yourself right now?! How could I be into him? I hate his guts!”

“That’s why you fucking drew him—”

“I didn’t draw him!” I finally exclaimed just as we got out the room, Seulgi shutting the door loudly behind us after she turned the lights off.

“You’ve been acting hella weird ever since we’ve been to Outlaw, Y/N, what are you not telling me?” Seulgi leaned against the wall as I locked up the room.

“I am not acting weird and there’s nothing I’m not telling you, so, will you just drop this whole thing?” I snapped, raising my eyebrows at her in irritation. Seulgi bit her lower lip and crossed her arms in front of her chest as she looked like she was contemplating. But one another glance at my face and she knew she wouldn’t get anything out of me, so she just sighed and shook her head as she pushed off the wall.

“Fine, let it be your way,” She muttered, falling in step with me by my side, “At least it’s not Yunho anymore. You’re finally getting over him—”

“Bitch, I’ve been over him for ages.” I threw my best friend a sharp glare and she just chuckled, shaking her head at me. I held back the urge to slap the back of her head hard in hopes that her delusional thoughts would get slapped out of her head with the effort.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” She mocked and before I could go off on her again, she faced me and smiled brightly, “Want to get McDonald’s before we head home?”

All thoughts of Mingi and wanting to hold a whole ass speech to Seulgi about him flew out of my mind at the mention of said junk food and I nodded eagerly, linking my arm with Seulgi’s as she started talking about a girl in her history class and how she managed to embarrass herself and her professor at the same time today.

『Run, baby, run

Run, baby, run』

❱❱ Next chapter

[farleighlover]

— “death of you.”

| farleigh x fem!reader

disclaimers: mentions of alcohol, rival!farleigh, fluff(?), no smut (whoops sorry), really bad fic, literally no disclaimers lowk …

w.c.: 1.1k

— a/n: sorry for changing the name of the fic .. super shitty , not my best work at all .. sorry for how long it took & how short it is , i haven’t wrote in FORVER (not exaggerating) , i might turn this into a series if y’all are kind enough .. anyhoo , PLEASE send fic / bot scenarios !!

parties weren’t really your thing. what was though, is alcohol.

every story ends the same, you go to a party, try to be and behave sober, fail miserably, drink too much, then do whatever comes to mind because there’s nothing stopping you.

it was a sob story. every time you tried to tell yourself no, it failed. and it brought you to now.

you sat along the stairs outside the party. the wind blew around you as you felt ruined. the effects were coming to play, and it probably could show. a broken heel, makeup blurred on your face, and the aroma of alcohol floated around you. the good effects of alcohol was for a little, before things just became too uncomfortable. the room felt too crowded, the music got too loud, the dress suddenly too tight… you just had to take a break.

as you sat and thought, a low chuckle could be heard behind you. farleigh start. you and him didn’t have an “amazing” relationship, in fact everybody knows you two as “the rivals” over how you two fight over everything and anything. grades, who was the teachers’ favorite… you two couldn’t stand each other.

you groaned and rolled your eyes when farleigh becomes in view and takes in your appearance, eyeing you up and down. you suddenly felt highly insecure when farleigh let out a laugh.

“you, look like a mess.” farleigh says when he finally looks at your face. you glare at him and huff under your breath, although you feel your cheeks flare up. you hope that farleigh doesn’t notice.

“that’s so sweet of you.” you say flatly. “you know i have awareness of myself, right?” he takes another glimpse of yourself before answering. “..are you sure?” you roll your eyes as he smirks.

there is a favor you needed to ask farleigh, and it was for a ride or at least be able to help you walk back to your dorm. it was a horrible thing already to ask him, but all your friends ditched you and you weren’t popular enough to know people on that level to ask. the only one you had, was farleigh.

“i need a favor..” you slightly slurred over your words, already regretting asking. he let out a chuckle as he raised a brow.

you looked down to avoid eye contact, fidgeting with the skirt you wore. you mumble out, “i need a ride..” as soon as you say that, he laughs. an immediate wave of embarrassment went through you, regretting everything that has came to this moment. asking the farleigh start for a ride and actually expecting one? you might as well buy a lottery ticket. once he calms down, he looks at you, always with that stupid fucking smug grin on his face.

“you… a ride? from me?” he points to himself. he loved to piss you off. you glared. “no, the guy behind you— yes a ride from you!” you blurt out, irritated. “just forget it—“ you try to stand up, totally forgetting about your broken heel, and fall.

thankfully, farleigh catches you. he snickered, “maybe you do need a ride..” as he holds onto your hips to steady you. before you get to say something, you feel yourself get lifted up and farleigh carrying you. “farleigh, what the fuck?!” you exclaimed, immediately wrapping your arms around farleigh’s neck as your mind stirred a little from the sudden movement. “what? you needed to go back to your dorm, right?” he smirked as he started to walk. he was going to be the death of you.

“keys.” farleigh says. you looked over and saw your dorm. you let out a laugh. “you remembered my dorm?” he rolled his eyes, “again, your keys.” you let your head fall back, smirking a little. you had something to tease him with.

“purse.” you answered. he hummed and soon later, he placed you on your bed gently, which is surprising. you learned that farleigh’s capable of being a bit sweet. he sighed. “listen, i’m going to go get you some water. don’t.. don’t move.” you nod with the remaining strength, but as soon as he leaves, you pass out.

god knows for how long you fell asleep like that, but when you woke up, you feel a small sinking in your bed. you turn and see farleigh, passed out right next to you. your head buzzes with confusion, mixing with your hangover. he looks at peace, somehow blissful. the only time his expression isn’t turned in some cocky grin. you couldn’t help but keep your eyes on him, analyzing and searching every inch of his face.

eventually, you slip out of bed as quietly as you can to not disturb him. when you arrive to the bathroom, there were only traces of your makeup on your face, but tons of small wipes of makeup and makeup remover. you laugh quietly, thinking how sweet the thought was. right then, you hear your front door open and quickly close.

“farleigh?” you call out, but only silence answered.

later in classes, you can tell farleigh is trying to avoid you. after classes, he immediately leaves rather than teasing and picking on you on everything and anything, he makes eye contact once when you enter the library and he decides it’s time to leave, you don’t understand how one small piece of affection he’s done for you makes him run wild.

after 2 weeks of him acting like an imbecile in your presence, you go up to him in the hall.“farleigh, what’s your problem?”

he looks shocked but quickly tries to cover it, acting coolly as he replies, “i have no idea what you’re talking about.” classic farleigh. you roll your eyes, “you know exactly what i’m talking about. you run around and away when i’m around. why?” you cross your arms, trying to look more intimidating, but with farleigh being 6’5, it obviously doesn’t have the same effect.

“still have no idea what you’re talking about..” he singsonged. he was starting to piss you off. “the way you immediately leave when i’m in any room with you? the way you haven’t picked or teased on me?”he raised a brow. “did you want me to?” he teased, a small smirk appearing. you groaned. “no! i’m not—“ “because it sounds like that.” he grinned. you were going to snap his neck off. “oh my gosh, just forget it.” you grumbled. he smiled. “okaayy..” he singsonged. “see you later.” he placed a kiss on your head before walking away.

he was going to be the death of you.

.. taglist: @fuckshitslover @themoonchildwhofell @khxna @flipsconhelado

[shewrites444]

ghost [xavier plympton x reader]

[ inspired from ahs 1984, and of course written by me. super cheesy smut fic since i wrote this over a year ago and it has been sitting in my drafts, but why not post it for my ahs lovers. enjoy! ]

word count - 2.4k

[summary: the reader is a counselor at the former camp redwood, now camp meadow, and meets a very friendly, yet also flirtatious ghost during her first night.]

[warnings: dirty talk, oral, unprotected sex]

regardless of how much my mom and i argued, i continued to deny her stupid reasons to not work at camp meadow the summer. the second massacre of 1984 was not even in the current century, so i knew not to overreact about any possible harm coming my way. i loved a good thrill anyway, so maybe some stupid kids pretending to be the night stalker or mr. jingles would be the most enjoyable portion of the long week anyway.

after finally convincing my friend [y/f/n] to come with me, i was felt my decision was for the best. the drive was a few hours long and once we arrived, we were able to meet our fellow counselors and the head counselor, who seemed nice enough, and not very strict whatsoever.

"i'm going to try my hardest to make this week enjoyable for not only the kids, but the counselors as well." miss thompson smiled at us, nodding her head with respect towards the young group. "i know this place has a lot of bad memories, but with a new name, new cabins, and much more, we can make newer, better memories. if you guys have any concerns or questions, please let me know. i'm available anytime."

[y/f/n] nods, then raises her hand, which miss thompson acknowledges immediately. "what about showers? we haven't gone over that yet."

miss thompson told us we had to shower before midnight, to make sure we had hot water the next morning for the kids, in case they needed a bath or anything of the sort.

after taking turns one by one, i was last in line for my shower. i decided to wait until it was dark, so i didn't have any concerns about my friends coming to prank me with stupid, useless scares. they were all tired, cuddled up in their bunks and ready to prepare for the next morning, which would be extremely busy with the amount of kids the head counselor said we were expecting.

i grab my towel and a change of clothes, along with my razor, and made my way towards the showers. i set everything down before stripping off my baggy, light washed jeans and plain black crop top, then turn the water on, waiting until it's hot enough to step into.

i close my eyes, humming quietly to myself as i wet my hair, reaching over to grab the shampoo bottle. i squirt it into my hand, then sigh upon realizing it's all out.

"just fucking fantastic." i scoff, setting the bottle down and just deciding to shave instead. i grab the bar of soap and lather my right leg up, grabbing the razor and sliding it against my skin.

while doing so, i feel a cold gust of wind against my heated, wet skin, looking up with confusion as it suddenly stops. i shake my head, ignoring the situation and going back to my legs. after shaving, i set the razor down and glance to the shower next to me, seeing there was no shampoo in there, either. i really preferred to wash my hair tonight, knowing that it would be funky the next day, since we were expected to take the kids in canoes and swimming.

"looking for this?" i hear a low masculine voice, making me jump and squeak in surprise, turning around to see a blonde boy, dressed in a pair of white khakis and a teal sweatshirt, with a pair of white high-top converse. he had one silver cross earring, which hung on his right ear and shook as he stepped closer, holding a small shampoo bottle in his hand.

i blink numerous times, trying to fathom the fact that the boy was really there. he looked like he belonged in a different universe, or era, to say the least. i step closer and grab it from him, squeezing it in my hands to assure what was happening was actually real. i realize that if this is real, i'm bare ass naked in front of this random guy.

i snatch the towel from the sink, holding it over my body as my cheeks begin to heaten, and not just from the hot water. "who the fuck are you? and why the fuck are you in here while i'm showering?!"

he ran his fingers through his blonde highlights, laughing to himself, as if the situation was amusing. "well, i actually live here. i heard you and your buddies talking about the massacres that took place here earlier today. kinda disappointed you don't recognize me."

i wrap the towel around myself, stepping closer to him, and crossing my arms in complete confusion. "i'm sorry, but i don't think anyone just casually lives at camp meadow. this is like, a summer camp. i don't think it's legal to live here unless you own the camp, and the person who owns this place is a woman. so, i ask again, who are you, and why in the hell should i recognize you?"

"i'm xavier!" he yells in frustration, seeming offended i didn't know this infamous name. "xavier plympton. i was one of the few who were killed here in the '84 massacre. you haven't read up on the conspiracy there's ghosts here? you're looking at one from the 80's." he winks, watching as my eyes widen in shock.

"there's no way." i shake my head, looking at him from head to toe, completely flabbergasted by his unrealistic explanation. "ghosts can't just live here on earth forever, right? i thought you guys would at least go to heaven or hell, or something. not that i believe in that shit, but you'd at least go somewhere other than here."

xavier shrugged, taking a step closer to me, reaching his hand to my bare, wet shoulder. he smiled, sighing as he felt my skin. "i wish i felt like this again. being a ghost sucks sometimes. i feel so empty, so inhuman. i haven't felt someone so warm, so human, in years."

i pull back, pushing his hand off of me. "okay, um, xavier plympton. sorry to disappoint, but you probably won't be feeling this human ever again. now if you'll excuse me, i really need to wash my hair. thank you for the shampoo, but i seriously need you to leave."

he sighed, crossing his arms and lightly tapping his foot in annoyance at my resistance. "come on, [y/n]. i'm the whole reason you can even wash your hair. one more touch please, maybe on your face or something? it makes me feel normal again!" he whines, making a pouty face towards me.

"how do you know my name, weirdo?" i ask, looking at him with annoyance and a bit of confusion. "and no, you can't touch my face. if anything, that's the farthest from feeling normal. that's just being a creep."

xavier walked closer to me, "i do my research. i have nothing else to do around here, so why not eavesdrop on the new counselors before they're here forever like the rest of us, hm?"

my eyes widen as i walk back, hitting the shower water with my back, and feeling the towel begin to get soaked. i gulp, trying to scan him for any potential weapon. "well, if you kill me, then you won't be able to like.. touch my shoulder or whatever.. i thought you wanted to feel what it was like to be human, remember?"

he laughed, reaching to tug the side of the towel, biting his lip and looking up to meet our eyes. "i wouldn't hurt you or let anyone else do so, [y/n]. you're not like everyone else around here. you seem different, like you aren't afraid of a fucking stick breaking when you walk at night like those other pussy counselors. i mean, you came out here at almost midnight and showered all alone, so it's like you were practically begging me to touch more then just your shoulder.."

i blush, crossing my arms to make his fingers break from the fabric, breathing in and out rather heavily, as i felt my stomach turn at his words. "what would ever make you think i'd want you to touch me? maybe that's your brain, just because you've only had ghost pussy for like twenty years."

"maybe, instead, it's because you excite me." xavier snaps back with a flick of his pink tongue. he grabs the towel, slowly pulling it back off of me, then tossing it to the wooden floor. he grabs the shampoo, squirting some into his palm before lathering it up, gesturing for me to turn around. he sinks his fingers into my hair, beginning to wash it with soft, relaxing strokes from his fingertips. i close my eyes, practically melting at his touch and feeling my legs quickly drench with pleasure as he begins to kiss down my wet neck and soon to my bare shoulders.

this goes on for a few minutes, when he then helps to wash the shampoo out of my hair, and turns me back towards him. i watch him strip of his clothing, except for his light blue boxers, which showed off his stiff, hard length, poking directly towards my wet pussy.

i chew my lip, looking down at his length, before locking our lust-filled eyes. he moves closer to press his lips against my cheek, then smiles seductively.

"if i'm going to fuck you, i'd like to do so in a place more, comfortable. for the both of us, of course." he explains, taking my hand and pulling me away from the water. i look to him, raising a brow, and watching as he hands me the towel.

i follow him outside, as he walks towards an empty cabin, several down from the one i was staying in. i let him sit me down on the bed, where i pull the towel off of myself and set it on the dresser. i lay on my back, spreading my legs in his direction as he pulls his boxers down. he looks at me with a grin, chuckling as he walks over to shut my legs, making my sit up with complete confusion.

"thought we were going to have sex, xavier. not play games, right?" i chirp, looking at the blonde as he sticks two fingers in his mouth, then pins me back down, sliding them to my clit, answering my own question. so no sex yet, only some foreplay so far, which was absolutely fine by me.

he came off as a man who wanted to skip the foreplay, but the second he pumped his fingers inside of me, i was thankfully my interpretation was wrong. i gasp, letting out a loud moan as he began to finger me, curling his digits inside of me with each thrust, in and out.

xavier leaned down to latch his lips to my nipple, sucking softly for a minute before pulling his head up. he looks down at me, pleased with my moans, while he reads my lustful expression.

"the minute i saw you walk into this camp, i knew you'd been needing a good dicking, [y/n]. the way you looked at those other counselors when they were introduced to you.. you've been wanting someone inside of you for awhile now, and who better then me, hm?" he talked into my ear, his hot breath against my skin as he worked his magic inside of me. "i could fuck you so hard tonight you'd never wanna leave camp, baby. you'd be begging for my cock from when you wake up to when you go to sleep. i can already feel how good your pussy is, so i may be begging you for the same later.."

i glance up at him, then down to his hand, as he rapidly finger fucks my insides. i'm dripping at his touch, my juices sinking between my ass cheeks and his fingers, visibly noticeable as he pulls out of me, moving his index and middle fingers to my throbbing clit.

as he rubs, i moan loudly, my eyes shut while he motions himself in front of me. he kneels on the bed, using his free hand to line up his length with my pussy. he pushes himself in slowly, as a way to warn me of what's to come. he was big, and it was now very obvious as he had already filled a substantial portion of my insides with not even half his cock. i nod with reassurance, allowing him to push himself into me, so deep his balls were pressing against my folds.

xavier begins to thrust, pulling his hand away from my clit and taking a hold of my own hand, lacing his fingers with mine. he smushes our lips together, the kiss entrancing the both of us as we become one through a sinful, yet so beautifully pleasurable act.

"you feel so good, [y/n]... dead or alive, this is the best pussy i've ever had in my life.. i never want to stop fucking you, baby.." xavier compliments me, giving me a wink as he raises himself back up. he keeps our hands together, thrusting himself inside as he lets out small moans, and continues to speak his sexual, dirty words to me.

he looks down at me, watching as my tits bounce with each one of his rapid, fast-paced movements. "how do you like this cock, sweetheart? so thick and long for you, hmm? you make me hurt with lust, babygirl. you make me want to cum deep inside you."

"please, xavier. please cum inside me.." i moan, nodding as i look up at him, my mouth hung open as he rocks my body in the bed. "that's all i want right now, for you to fill me up so good.. i need you so bad.. i need you to fill my pussy.. fuck.."

"and that i fucking shall." xavier pushes inside of me with one last deep thrust, filling my walls with his warm, thick seed. he pulls out, a small portion of white trailing from his head and to my pussy lips.

i sit up, panting as i pull myself off the bed, leaning down onto my weak, shaking knees. i place my lips on the tip, sucking the excess down my throat. he shivers at my touch, moving one hand to cup my cheek and insist i stand back up.

"maybe tomorrow night you can reward me with head, baby. you've got a big day soon." he pecks my lips, handing me the towel off the floor. "so why don't you go clean up, again, and i'll see you soon."

i smirk, nodding as i wrap the towel around my top. "xavier, please join me. maybe i'll wash your hair this time." i wink, watching him pull his boxers up.

he laughed, shaking his head. "i hate to reject the offer, sweetheart, but i need my beauty sleep, too. go get some sleep, because tomorrow night will be far longer than tonight's."

i turn around, my cheeks burning as i open the cabin door and shut it behind me, walking back to the showers. i couldn't believe i had just let a ghost fuck me, and that ghost being the xavier plympton. maybe i'd have to stick around camp meadow for longer than this week after all.

[ a/n - i did want to mention i will be writing much more in a few weeks - finals and college/work in general has been consuming a lot of my time lately, but i am hoping to find some inspiration for new fics soon! ]

[yeoosaangg]

៹ LOVE ME HARDER || KINKTOBER — DAY 30

➛ PAIRING:: CHOI YEONJUN × FEM!READER × CHOI BEOMGYU

➛ NOW PLAYING:: LOVE ME HARDER — ARIANA GRANDE, THE WEEKND

⤷ ❝IF YOU KNOW ABOUT ME AND CHOOSE TO STAY, THEN TAKE THIS PLEASURE AND TAKE IT WITH THE PAIN.❞

➛ GENRE:: NON-IDOL!AU, SMUT

➛ WARNINGS:: BONDAGE, BREEDING KINK, DADDY KINK, DUMBIFICATION, FINGERING, FREE USE, GAGGING, PRAISE, SPANKING, THROAT FUCKING, VOYEURISM

── ⋆ ⋆ ── 𔘓 ── ⋆ ⋆ ──

You are a young reporter that was assigned to do a story on bondage and BDSM, so you've agreed to be a bondage slave for a week to see what it's really like.

So far, you've read and signed three different contracts: one for consent, another for safety, and a third listing different kinks that you've modified to your liking.

Yeonjun: Before we start, I have some things to go over with you.

Beomgyu: Me too.

You smile at both men, thinking they look great together. There's so much love between them, it makes you wonder why they accepted the offer.

Yeonjun: I'll be giving you a rundown of the seven days you'll be living here and what to expect to avoid accidentally triggering you.

That's very considerate of him.

Beomgyu: But before that, I wanted you to know that it's been a while since I've let my dominant side take over. I may take it too far, so I want to let you know in advance that using the safety cues we've established is very much encouraged.

You nod slowly, registering the information in your head. You can tell he's genuine and truly does not want to scare or hurt you at all.

Beomgyu: I've been with Yeonjun for a long time, but he's a true dom while I'm a switch. It's difficult to navigate around it because there are days where I'm feeling particularly dominant myself but have no way to release it.

Yeonjun: It's true. Those days it's hard to figure out if he's just resisting to be a bratty sub or if he's just not feeling particularly submissive.

Beomgyu: Those days I have to call out the safe word so he knows not to push me. So when we saw your advertisement online, we thought it'd be a step in figuring out if a polyamorous relationship is what's needed.

That's a lot to take in, but it at least gives you insight to why they accepted this arrangement.

You hope one day they'll be able to establish a system that coincides with their needs. This makes good coverage for your article as well.

Yeonjun: Monday will be your trial run. You'll get to sit back and watch how Beomgyu and I navigate our relationship with each other. This is the only day we won't be sexual with you.

Sounds fair.

Yeonjun: The two days following, you'll be splitting chores and wearing matching clothes with Beomgyu. This is when I get to play with both of you sexually. But it'll start off lightly as to not push your limits.

You nod.

You read the contracts and it was clear they did, too. You trust them to treat you well.

Beomgyu: The following three days, you'll be my personal human fuckdoll. I get to dress you, feed you, and bathe you - basically take care of you as I wish whether it's sexual or not. Yeonjun will not be joining us until the very last day.

Wow, okay.

The room was suddenly getting hot.

Yeonjun: And for your last day, we'll both be fucking you. You will be ours to use however we see fit. This will possibly be the most extreme we'll be, so make sure to remember you have options to opt out.

Y/n: I understand.

Yeonjun: Great. We've already got your room situated. It's late, so we'll let you get some sleep.

Y/n: Thank you.

You stand up and bow before heading upstairs to the guest room. Your name was written on a white board, which hangs off a hook.

You have to remind yourself that this is for your job, nothing more.

Monday:

Beomgyu knocks on your door at 7AM on the dot. You were already showered and dressed in the clothes labeled for the day.

They definitely prepared everything in advance, which must've taken a lot of work.

Beomgyu: Good morning, Miss Y/n.

He giggles as he shows off his pink dress.

He had his hair in pigtails with pick ribbon wrapped around the band.

He looks adorable.

Y/n: You look pretty, Beomgyu.

Beomgyu: Thank you, Miss Y/n. And please, call me Beomie.

You nod while smiling.

Y/n: Well, Beomie, let's go eat breakfast.

He intertwines your hands together and walks with you down the stairs.

You both are greeted with the smell of pancakes and a shirtless Yeonjun. He was wearing grey sweats and an apron.

Yeonjun: Good morning, Y/n. I see my princess has grown attached to you already.

Beomgyu: Miss Y/n called me pretty.

Yeonjun: And she's right. Come give Daddy a kiss.

Beomgyu skips to his boyfriend and gives him a deep kiss, bodies pressed up against each other.

Yeonjun: Sit down with Y/n so she's not lonely.

Breakfast was comfortable to say the least. They included you in the conversation and kept you entertained until Yeonjun inevitably left for work.

You spent the next few hours watching Beomgyu clean the house and do the laundry. He did everything with a smile on his face, almost like he enjoyed being a housewife.

Beomgyu: Miss Y/n, would you like to watch some movies with me?

Y/n: Of course I would.

He let you choose what to watch and loved every single one.

He got a few texts from Yeonjun, mostly to check up on him.

Beomgyu thought it'd be fun to rile him up, so he asked you to take pictures of him in very provocative poses to send.

And Yeonjun's response got Beomgyu all hot and horny.

He was advised not to touch himself, but that only made the younger want to do it even more. And now that you're here, maybe he won't get as bad of a punishment.

So he spreads his legs open, holding his panties to the side as he works himself open. You only watched and filmed him, sending the videos when he asks.

So when nighttime comes and Yeonjun gets back home, he's got his boyfriend bent over the couch with his cock deep inside him.

This was after a series of intense belt whoopings.

Yeonjun: Such a fucking brat. Think Y/n's gonna stop me from fucking you stupid? Of course not.

You just watch them from the other end of the couch. Beomgyu was bent over the arm rest, dress still on as he gets drilled from behind.

Yeonjun didn't even strip down, work pants open enough for his cock to spring free.

You can see drool falling out of Beomgyu's mouth as Yeonjun slams his hips harder against his ass.

Yeonjun: Look at you, a whimpering mess for my cock. You like the idea of being watched by Y/n, don't you.

Beomgyu nods, looking up at you. This only make his back arch more. Yeonjun's cock hits his prostate, making the younger scream.

Yeonjun: Gonna cum for me, princess?

Beomgyu: Yes, Daddy.

Yeonjun chuckles and reaches around to pump his boyfriend's aching cock until he dirties the couch. He cums deep inside Beomgyu not too long after.

Beomgyu: I love you, Daddy.

Yeonjun: I know, baby. Sorry if I was too rough on you.

Beomgyu: S'Okay. I love when you fuck me like a slut.

They both clean each other up, getting ready for bed. You dismiss yourself and spend the rest of the night masturbating.

All of that riled you up more than you thought possible. You can't wait for what tomorrow will bring.

Tuesday:

Beomgyu once again knocks on your door right on the dot. But this time, both of you were wearing matching blue dresses with blue ribbons in your hair.

Beomgyu: You look pretty, Y/n.

You giggle and give him a spin. A fond smile pulls at his lips.

Y/n: Thank you, Beomie.

Beomgyu once again holds your hand as you walk down the stairs to the kitchen. Yeonjun greets both of you with a kiss on the forehead.

Yeonjun: Good morning, my little doves. I'll be working from home today.

Beomgyu: Really?!

Yeonjun: Yes, my precious baby. That means I get to be with you two all day.

Y/n: Sounds wonderful, Mr. Yeonjun.

You guys sit down and eat the eggs and sausage he's prepared. After finishing, you and Beomgyu wash the dishes; he rinses and you dry.

Halfway through, you feel Yeonjun press up against you from behind. His cock was out, rubbing in between your thighs.

Yeonjun: Look at you, being a good girl and washing the dishes.

Beomgyu giggles next to you. He can see you getting shy and needy.

Yeonjun bends you over the sink just enough so you can still dry the dishes. He pulls your panties to the side so his cock slides up and down your folds.

He slaps your ass, watching it bounce back.

Yeonjun: Want me to fuck you, darling?

You grab the plate from Beomgyu's hands and try your best to dry it. But you just feel so good.

Y/n: Yes, Mr. Yeonjun.

And who is he to deny you?

Yeonjun: Princess, why don't you stop for a second to kiss my darling? I bet you want to drink up all her moans as Daddy pounds into her cunt.

Beomgyu dries his hands before pressing his chest into your side. He pulls your face closer to him and kisses you at the same time Yeonjun shoves his cock inside you.

You moan into Beomgyu's mouth, his tongue exploring every inch of your warm mouth.

Yeonjun pulls your dress underneath your braless tits, squeezing them. He lightly smacks your nipples, moaning against your ear.

Yeonjun: Play with her pussy, baby.

Beomgyu's right hand travels down to your clit, swallowing a whine that slipped out from the back of your throat. The stimulation from both men was sending you over the edge.

Yeonjun: I think she wants to cum, princess. Let me hear her beg.

Beomgyu steps back from you, hand still rubbing your pussy.

Y/n: Can I please cum, Mr. Yeonjun. Feels so good.

Yeonjun: What do you think, Beoms? Does Y/n deserve to cum yet?

Beomgyu: She does, Daddy. She's been good.

Yeonjun: You're right, baby, she has. Go ahead, darling. Cum all over my big dick.

Beomgyu presses his finger against your clit to help you cum while Yeonjun rams his cock along your gummy walls. The knot in your stomach undoes itself, leaking around the thick cock inside you.

Yeonjun pulls out of you and has you fall to your knees in front of him. He pumps his cock a few times before cumming on your tongue.

Yeonjun: Swallow it.

You gulp down everything, showing him a clean mouth.

Yeonjun: Good girl.

You get up and get back to doing the dishes.

Beomgyu easily continues his task while Yeonjun fucks him. This must be a regular occurrence on the days Yeonjun stays home.

Beomgyu walks around with Yeonjun's cum leaking down his legs as you both split the chores. You're on laundry duty while Beomgyu cleans the bathroom.

Yeonjun sits in his office doing paperwork for his company. He honestly doesn't have to be there all the time given that he's the CEO.

Both you and Beomgyu come together to make Yeonjun lunch.

He has you two ride him when the stress gets to him. You both cum on him, leaving him a gasping mess. He still has to finish work, but he wants more of you two.

Yeonjun: Princess, please help Y/n into some rope. I'll meet you downstairs in fifteen minutes. You two better be on your knees when I get down there.

Beomgyu: Yes, Daddy.

Beomgyu grabs your hand and leads you down to their basement.

Y/n: What's downstairs?

Beomgyu: Daddy's Red Room. He built it himself.

You tilt your head, following behind him until your socked feet land on soft material. He switches the light on and the sight shocks you.

It was a BDSM sex dungeon with all sorts of thing.

Beomgyu: What color of rope would you like?

You look at the four options in his hands and decide to keep the theme of the day: blue.

He takes both of your clothes off, his touch lingering on your body as he takes in your fully naked body for the first time.

He can't wait until his turn with you.

He starts wrapping the rope around your body. He obviously knows how to make sure it's tight enough to stay on your body, but loose enough to not cut your blood circulation.

Beomgyu: You look beautiful, Y/n.

You smile shyly, looking away slightly.

He helps you onto the very comfortable bed, sitting you on your knees. You watch him tie some rope around himself, kneeling right next to you.

Yeonjun's footsteps eventually echo down the stairs until he makes it to the bottom.

He takes in the sight of you two pliantly waiting for him. You walks over and pulls Beomgyu into his chest by the ropes.

Yeonjun: Suck my cock.

His boyfriend kneels down, immediately taking his cock and deep throating him.

Yeonjun: Come here, darling.

You walk over to him and gasp when he bends you over Beomgyu's head. His fingers work you open, knuckles deep inside your swollen pussy.

Yeonjun reaches down with the other hand and pushes Beomgyu's head all the way down, tip hitting the back of his throat. You can hear him gag while you squirt on Yeonjun's fingers.

Y/n: Feels so food, Mr. Yeonjun.

He smacks your ass twice before making you stand properly. He cums down Beomgyu's throat, pulling him up by his throat.

Yeonjun: Both of you get on the bed, on all fours.

You two immediately do as he says, backs arched for him to see your holes.

He grabs two different hooks, and brings them down to both of you.

Yeonjun: This might be uncomfortable. Feel free to say the safe word if it's a no-go.

It was an anal hook.

He covers your hole in lube, using his fingers to work you open. He doesn't stop until you're gaping.

Beomgyu watches as his boyfriend slowly inserts the hook, your hole closing in around the end.

Yeonjun: God, that's so beautiful.

Beomgyu: So perfect.

You whine at the new feeling. Yeonjun presses a button, the chain rattling as it suspends your lower half in the air. You let out whimpers of pain, worrying both men.

Beomgyu: Are you okay? Should we take it off?

You shake your head, biting your bottom lip.

Y/n: Feels good.

Yeonjun massages your ass to soothe your aching pain.

He suspends Beomgyu by the ropes, ass hanging in the air. He reaches over to hold your hand.

To keep you grounded!

Because he saw the glazed look in your eyes.

At least that's what he told himself.

Yeonjun takes turns in fucking both of you to exhaustion, watching slump down while he fucks you two dumb.

Yeonjun: Should I breed the new pet, princess? Watch my cum spill out of her hole then fuck it back into her womb? Or should I spill it into your greedy asshole?

Beomgyu whines, Yeonjun's cock repeatedly hitting his prostate.

Beomgyu: Breed the angel.

Yeonjun: You like the idea of me fucking my babies into someone else?

Beomgyu: Yes, Daddy.

Yeonjun: Then cum for me so I can fill her pussy with my seed.

Beomgyu tiredly reaches for his own cock and uses Yeonjun's thrusts to spill his cum all over the satin sheets. He just slumps, Yeonjun unhooking him.

You scream when he suddenly slams his cock into you. His balls hit your clit, hips stuttering when he feels you squeeze around him.

Yeonjun: Can't even make sounds anymore, too far gone to even move. But your cunt is still hungry for my cock, darling. Why don't you cum for me, hm?

It was an automatic response, pussy squirting on his big and veiny cock. He spills inside you, fucking it as deep as he could.

You don't even register when he frees you from the hook, cleaning both you and Beomgyu up with a towel.

He carries you both upstairs to the main bathroom where the tub was big enough for both of you.

Beomgyu was coherent enough to help wash you up, but you were out of it. Everything felt fuzzy and tingles ran up your arms.

Your entire body hurts, but mostly your lower half. If you're already this far gone, how the hell were you going to survive the rest of the week?

═══

a/n: decided to make this a two parter since i'm sleep deprived. thank you for reading ‹𝟹

[lightningcolond]

(heres a transcript of swansea's speech because i love it very very much so like if anyone wants to use it for anything i couldnt find it anywhere since the game just came out so i took the liberty of just doing it myself :3)

I have something to say.

So shut the fuck up and listen.

I spent thirteen years half cut-up to my eyeballs.

Drunk, to put it mildly.

Then suddenly I saw it, a streetlight shining in my face.

500 Gigawatts of the power of God.

A vision of my bloated body found in some ditch.

Scared me straight.

So I got a collar shirt, mortgage and a credit card.

All the things that make a good man.

I hoped I could raise my children to be better than their old man.

I wanted to believe I was never one setback away from my worst self.

But the truth is.

Discipline.

Drive.

Routine.

The endless fucking desperation to get shit done.

A loving wife?

Great kids?

Sobriety?

I’m telling you.

You. Accomplishments I’ve been chasing all my life.

Never felt as good as I expected when I crossed the finish line.

So now that we’re at the end. Takin’ inventory.

Those nights spinning out of my head, sinking into the sofa.

Broken glass in my palms. Bleeding dry the funniest thing ever.

Old dogs laughing and snarling on a waterbed floor, mocking the moon for daring to show it’s face.

All nausea and wreckage and vomit and ugly cruelty. 

The only problem in the world an empty bottle.

Those were the best days of my life.

…Yeah.

Those were the best days of my life.

I got nothing to hide. Ready to face the music.

I can see myself for what I am.

But you? A cowardly, selfish motherfucker and you can’t even see it.

…I should’ve been able to protect the kid.

If I could have done one thing right, I wish it had been to give him one small chance off this goddamned rock.

(Swansea. I’m going to fix everything.)

(We’re going to make it.)

Fuck you.

[haroldthehuckleberry]

Pregnant boy-toy part 2/3

cw: mpreg, sex, controlling language, speed pregnancy

we sat and spoke for a few hours about the baby but i couldnt take my mind off how fucking sexy he was, i dont know if its the hormones but his physique and just everything was sending me wild, luckily my mountain belly was hiding my rock-hard cock in my sweatpants. the same couldnt be said for him… his massive member was clearly solid in his tight jock strap, he moved on to the couch next to me and my cock and cunt only twitched for him more.

his massive hands rested on my belly that dwarfed the tanned, veined beauties on the end of his wrists, his right hand slipped my tight vest up over my mountain-belly letting every inch of its tight skin breathe meanwhile his left hand glided up and down my thigh as my cock twitched and my cunt pulsed for him. suddenly i looked at myself and realised how much id changed, normally no man could drive me crazy enough to want him this much but its true- i needed him. i needed to please him. a whimper of a moan slipped out my lips followed by his gruff voice saying “good boy” to sooth me, those goddamn words that pissed me off to no-end only months ago are now ruling me those two words nearly made me cum on the spot when he say this though he wasn’t impressed

“tut tut, no slut of mine cums before i allow it” he bellowed as he pinched my sensitive swollen nipple causing me to moan again and drizzle a little milk for the first time “s-s-sorry” i whimpered in hopes hed allow me to cum, “sorry *what*” he said assertively “sorry d-d-daddy” i mutter half ashamed at how far id fallen for this God-like man and half so turned on it was starting to hurt my cock, “what a good little slut” he grinned as he pulled me up by my back and escorted me upstairs…

————————————

i lost count of how many times he came on my stomach of mass proportion but i was still not allowed. and i loved it. to think only jours ago i would have scoffed and rolled my eyes over being used like a machine but this is what i needed this whole time, i needed this man to control me. i assumed after i was finally allowed to cum i would leave and later plan the babies up-bringing but my daddy had different plans…

after another few hours of not cuming daddy finally let me and it exploded all over my belly-base as my cunt twitched and throbbed while his cock was being pulled out, i felt his spawn and his cum sloshing around inside me, i was full. maximum capacity. i didnt think my belly could get bigger when i arrived but it clearly has, i cant even sit up and i know daddy will only punish me if i ask for help so instead i ask permission to fall asleep, he grants me it before he gets me to suck him off one last time, i must obey.

after a great night sleep i expected to wake up to a slightly deflated belly as i assumed the cum would have been absorbed or whatever but no… my belly was EVEN bigger again my skin was so tight it looked nearly see through i looked about 18 months pregnant!! “WHAT THE FUCK!!” i screamed “shut it slut!” daddy shouted back twisting my pecs that had also swollen more over night, this pain added to the sight and feel of my belly immediately made my cock and cunt stand at attention ready for anything daddy wants me to do “p-p-please explain daddy” i beg trying not to make it obvious im ready for him whenever he wants me, “ you see,” he growls “my cum isnt like any other, i can get you pregnant no matter how far along you already are, and my spawn tend to grow bigger than the average” he puts his hand assertively on my globe of a stomach “normally my sluts come to me only a few months in so i have more time to utilise their breed-able bodies but you where naughty, you came to me late. so for this, i must teach you a lesson”

authors note:

thank you so much for the love on part one! i hope you enjoy this part too i have a rough plan for maybe one more part so unless i get an amazing idea there will probably be one more part to this series!

[xiaq]

What was your relationship with HP in your childhood and what did it mean to you?

Warning: long answer is long.

I read the first HP book when I was 10. It felt like coming home. I was a deeply awkward, anxious kid dealing with bullying at school. I felt wrong and out of place and like everyone except for me had a manual for how they were supposed to navigate life; without the manual I was certain I would never catch up.

Books were a fucking haven. And THIS book. This book was about a kid that I empathized with so much. Except he's bullied and feels out of place because he IS out place. He's meant to be somewhere better, with people like him, who (for the most part) treat him kindly and with respect. And suddenly he's able to make friends and excel at his studies, and he settles into this fantastic world where he fits, and he's bright and likable and he has a purpose. It was just. God, it was everything I wanted for myself. AND there was magic and a train and a cool castle.

I think the first two books were already out when I started reading and I read the rest as they were released (re-reading them all multiple times in between). The friends I did manage to make also adored the books. I went from "playing Harry Potter" on the playground to writing fanfic to going to midnight book releases and meeting up with friends to see the movies as they started coming out. The final book came out shortly after I started high school, and the final movie came out when I was in college. I went to that midnight showing with a good portion of my friends and we all cried like babies at the end. Because it was over. This thing that had sustained us for so long. This thing that marked our childhoods.

You have to understand that Harry Potter-related expectation was a constant for the majority of my life. Since I was in elementary school there was always a new book to look forward to every year or so. And when the book series was completed, there was the next movie to look forward to. And then it was over (and with such an unsatisfying epilogue). That's when I really got involved in fandom (outside the fic I wrote amongst friends in a the group journal we kept and passed back and forth during studyhall, ofc). And fandom was the most accepting, glorious, place for an anxious queer kid just starting to come out of her shell as college afforded her the freedom to realize that maybe the very narrow (private Christian school k-12) concept of normalcy she'd been afforded until that point wasn't entirely accurate. And it continued to be glorious. I went to cons and got merch and put my House in my online dating profile and 3D printed custom HP cookie cutters and joked about having a HP themed wedding some day and my friends and I loved our nerdy little world that made us happy. Until Joanne ruined it.

And I'm honestly not trying to be dramatic, but when something has been so intrinsic to your life and your social circle and even, to an extent, part of your identify, it's fucking devastating when you find out the creator of that thing is a bigot and actively using her platform to target people you love. I stopped supporting her (buying books/movies/merch etc.) a couple years back, and I was content in embracing the concept of Death of the Author (or, as I've previously termed it, "we've killed the author and are now rifling through her stuff to keep the good bits and throw out the bad"). But now, in light of her continued escalations and the recent TV series announcement, and the conversations I've been having with friends (particularly Jewish and trans friends), I do mean that the very concept of Harry Potter is ruined for me. My, now decades, of nostalgia just...aren't enough to supersede what feels like an irresponsible attachment. Before, I wanted HP's social presence to live on in spite of and without JK Rowling. Now, it's becoming more and more apparent that the entertainment industry is going to squeeze as much money out of the HP world as possible which will, by extension, continue to give her a platform and money with which to actively support her shitty dogma.

So. Here I am, too sad to pick up my HP books for my annual summer re-read, or start the new fic a writer I love has just posted or open the document to work on my own HP fic. Which is not at all a condemnation of folks in fandom who ARE able to keep reading and creating and loving the world while thumbing their nose at her. I just can't right now.

So I'm stepping back and blocking the tags and ignoring the show and trying to let other worlds consume me.

Anyway. That's what it meant to me. Sorry for the tiny violin moment but your ask made me sit down and confront the fact that I'm dealing with an extremely weird sort of grief I haven't ever encountered before.

[sleepynxri]

“Shh, you’re safe. I won't let you go"

A/N: I did not expect for it to be like this- I expect it more to be the other way around but I feel like other players like it how Jean is more the comforting type. But the next time I'll make a one shot for him I'll make the reader the one comforting him :D

Pairing/s: Jean Williams x anxious reader

Warnings: stressed reader, mentions of having a meltdown and just overall anxious, I guess hurt/comfort but no one is actually hurt?? Yes there's fluff

You’ve always known you were the anxious type of person.

But that doesn't stop you from pursuing the things you wanted in life. You moved out from your house to go to college and chose a course to your liking. You were nervous at first, but you kept everything under control.

You handled your way on becoming independent and studied to the best of your abilities. You have done your best and that's what matters to you.

You thought following a WikWok video’s route would help you calm down after the rush and adrenaline from college before meeting your parents and family for the summer. What could go wrong you asked.

You knew karma and being jinxed existed.

But this?

I'm pretty sure the fates or any gods or goddesses out there are just laughing at your misery right now.

Your car breaking down out of nowhere….. you don't have enough money to pay both the hostel and the repairs of the said broken car.

What else?

You groaned softly as you sat yourself on the sand on a nearby beach side you found. It was near night time already but you didn't give a single fuck. Your mind was overwhelmed and needed to process everything.

You were surprised you didn't have a meltdown already, but it's probably because of the constant stress you got from college you slowly got used to it.

You wanted to be proud of that, but you were too tired to even do it.

You were happy that you got a Hostel to stay at and a job to hopefully pay the fees as soon as possible. Being in an unknown place made you want to curl yourself in a bundle of blankets and hope that everything was a dream.

Did you even remember telling your family that you won't be able to meet them in the starting weeks of summer because of this mishap?

“There you are” You froze suddenly from your position.

That familiar voice, the first person who helped you from your rollercoaster of a road trip. The stranger who owned the car you fell asleep in after you almost got a panic attack from your car breaking down out of nowhere.

Jean, the sheriff of Brine Bay.

" What brings you out here? It's nearly night already” His voice was always so soothing and so comforting. You always wondered if he was always like this. How many times have he encountered situations like this?

You promptly ignored him and stared at the tiding waves of the sea. The sound was almost the same tone that Jean has whenever he talked. You chuckled at the resemblance.

You heard rustling of the sand beside you, you assumed Jean sat down.

“Is everything alright? “

" Would you believe me even if I said yes? “ A joking tone would be evident but the edge of your emotions was still there.

You could hear Jean chuckling beside you as he found the conversation a bit humorous. You smiled slightly hearing it.

“How did you know I was here?"

“Lucky guess?"

“Bull"

“Alright alright, I'll tell you the truth. This is actually the area I go to distress myself when being a sheriff was too much for me" your eyes slightly widened from the information. Jean? Too much on being a sheriff? You couldn't believe what you were hearing.

You didn't expect Jean of all people to get tired of the role he has in Brine Bay. Your eyes glanced over to the male as you saw him looking at the night sky, as his chestnut hair slowly flickered slightly from the winds of the sea. A small smile was on his face as he looked like he was… . reminiscing?

“Hey, I'm always here if you want someone to listen to alright?” You were surprised by his words….. you knew he was the comforting and soft-hearted type of person… but not to this extent.

He stood up from where he was sitting and then outstretched his hand for you.

“Let's head back to the hostel, Dante must be worried for you" you roll your eyes, you weren't sure if his words were right or wrong since you knew the personality of the said front desk employee of the hostel.

You accepted his hand and he helped you stand up. You didn't expect to be pulled into a hug.

“I'll be here whenever you need me" he whispered slightly in your ear. You were confused but relaxed at some point as you wrapped your hands around him.

You were immersed in the hug, you couldn't remember how long you were in the position with Jean.

But you didn't care, you were already happy surrounding yourself in his arms.

Threads of You: Beyond the Bay Demo

Lavendeer Studio's Discord server

[jungkookjeon0007]

Nights in Vegas | CH. 24 (JJK FF)

☆ summary: When Olivia flies to Las Vegas for her first ever BTS concert w/ her best friend, she was expecting to make lots of unforgettable memories... What she wasn't expecting was to end up with the lead singer, Jeon Jungkook, knocking on her hotel room door only to find her in nothing but a towel. What will happen when the golden maknae wants to see her again? Will it lead to heartbreak, or a promising future for them both?

☆ pairing(s): jungkook x olivia.

☆ ratings: (18+) for detailed sex scenes + harsh language.

☆ genre: smut, angst, fluff.

☆ word count: 2.25k.

☆☆☆☆☆☆

[Author's POV]

"I'm so damn nervous." Jungkook stated.

"It's going to be okay. I promise, just respect whatever she tells you okay, Kook?"

"Of course I will Yoon. I'm heading up now, she's supposed to be meeting me in my room at 5:30, and it's already 5:15."

"Okay. Call and let me know how it goes!"

"Always. Thank you Hyung."

Jungkook took off towards his room but when he got there, he was surprised to find Olivia pacing back and forth in front of his door, waiting for him. He walked up to her as she turned around, shocked to see him. "Hey. What are you doing here?"

Jungkook chuckled, "Umm it's my room?"

"Oh yeah, shit. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Are you doing alright?"

"Yes. No. I just-I-"

"Hey, hey. Calm down, it's okay it's just me baby. What's going on?"

"Can we go inside and talk please?"

"Of course."

He unlocked the door and motioned for her to enter first. He walked in after, shutting the door behind them. As he turned around, her lips were attacking his with such want and angst, a feeling he's never felt before while kissing her.

Jungkook pulled back out of breath, looking at her. "Not that I don't love your kisses so fucking much, but what is going on baby? You're acting strangely and it's making me nervous."

"I just-I..." She sighed heavily and after calming herself down, she continued. "I've made my decision."

My heart dropped in my stomach and suddenly I felt sweaty, "Oh okay. Do you want to sit down and talk about it?"

She shook her head, "No. I want you to sit down and I'll talk if that's okay."

"Yeah, of course." I walked over to the couch and anxiously sat down. She was on the other side of the coffee table that was in between us, pacing once again.

"Okay, so I want to explain everything I feel before I go straight into my answer. I am more nervous about this than giving you my actual answer, so forgive me if I stutter or stumble."

I smirked, nodding my head understanding that she needed my full attention and support.

"I want to start off and say that I am so thankful that I've met you, Jungkook. I never believed in love at first sight but the day that you knocked on my door, I knew that we instantly clicked and there was something between us. When we continued to see each other, I couldn't help but get butterflies in my stomach every single time you'd even look at me. The day that you took me on that helicopter tour and took me to sight see the places I never thought I would get to see in my lifetime, I felt excitement, I felt free, and I felt myself wanting to continue to have adventures like that with no one else but you-"

She stopped for a second, taking a deep breath as she continued speaking. "In such a short amount of time, you have become the love of my life and I couldn't even begin to imagine a world where you're not apart of it. All of the experiences we've had together from us making love for your first time, to getting your first kiss... I am so grateful I've been able to be the one you experienced all these firsts with. Last night when you called me, I was sobbing into my pillow and I spoke out loud that if I'm meant to go to Korea with you, for something to give me a sign. Not even 5 seconds after I said that, you called me. In that moment I was shocked, I didn't know what to think. But, when you came to me when I needed you the most even if it was just to give me cuddles because I didn't want to be alone, you came down in minutes and I felt like my whole entire world was perfect again-"

She stopped for a second as the tears were pouring down both of our faces."I'm sure that you're confused as to why I'm telling you all of this now and on the day that I'm supposed to give you my decision. To give some clarity, the reason why I'm telling you this is because you need to understand that this is not a game to me. This is not a relationship that is simply just a fling, this is something that I want to last forever between us. I want you to be the one I have a family with, that I get married to, that I have brand new crazy adult life experiences with, and someone that will always be beside me no matter what. If this isn't something that you're ready for and you're just looking for a girlfriend to have a good time with, then you need to tell me so I can move on. I need to know what direction you plan for this to go in before I agree to move anywhere or do anything. I need you to tell me what you want, right here right now."

I stood up, walking over to her and gently grabbed her cheek in my hand. "Sit down and I'll tell you."

She sat down and I began to explain.

. . .

[Olivia's POV]

"Liv. From the moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew I needed to win your heart. You were outgoing and so beautiful, I fell for you before you even said a word to me. I can't explain it, but I was pulled to you like a magnet and before I knew it, I  wanted to see you, hear your voice, see you smile... everything. I knew you were meant for me, but I had barely even spoken to a woman in my whole life. This was all a first time experience for me, all I've ever known was working and the members. But, when we started spending more of our time together I knew that I was missing something important in my life, and that was you. Since being with you the last 2 weeks, my confidence is higher, I feel more passionate about things, and in short, I feel so complete. If I didn't have you with me, idk what I'd do. I would honestly probably go crazy because being without you is like being without air-"

Tears were pouring down my face as I listened to him speak his heart to me.

"I want to fall asleep next to you ever single night and wake up kissing you good morning. I want you to be the only one I ever make love to because the way we make love is my absolute favorite and I can't ever imagine that it gets any better than that. I want to have adventures, go on picnics, be spontaneous with you. I even want a family one day, and to definitely marry you. I want you to be my one and only for the rest of my life and if I wasn't serious about any of this or thought for a second it was a game or fling, I would not have asked Bang PD about us. I asked him because I wanted to be with you no matter what and for us to do whatever it takes to be with one another. You're my everything and I love you more than anything in this entire world. You're my baby, and as long as you'll have me I will always be faithful, loyal, and will be for you and only you."

I couldn't even let him finish, I jumped up from the couch, running around the coffee table and right into his arms. "I fucking love you Jeon Jungkook."

"I fucking love you too baby."

"I've made my decision. Do you want to sit down for it, or do you want me to just say it?"

"Just say it, I can take it."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me as I put my lips up to his ear and whispered very softly. "I want to move to Korea with you."

His eyes got huge as he pulled me back to look in my eyes. "W-what did you just say?"

I giggled.

"I said I want to move to Korea with you Jungkook."

"Oh my god. WHAT?!" He picked me up and spun me around. "Oh my god, are you serious right now???"

I laughed. "Yes baby. I don't want to be here without you. I've decided that this will be the best thing for me, and I don't care what people say anymore. You're my soulmate."

He pulled me in even tighter."I love you so fucking much. I'm so happy right now!"

"Me too baby!"

"Wait, I have to call Bang PD and get your passport and everything ready for tomorrow."

"You can do whatever you have to do, I will be right here waiting."

He kissed me so passionately and I could tell this was about to get carried away if I didn't stop him.

"Mmm. Kookie. Baby." I said in between kisses.

"If you don't want this to go any further, we better stop now so you can call the guys and Bang PD."

"Okay, but later... you're all mine."

"Of course. Whatever you want."

We joked and carried on for a bit until he finally went to call Bang and the members. I called Lacie and she was over the moon excited.

Once they all had heard I was moving, they came to our room to celebrate with us. We ordered some dinner and sat around talking, then everyone went to their own rooms to pack for tomorrows flight. Lacie stayed up a little bit longer to help me pack my bags and we stayed up until 3 am. I was going to miss her the most out of everyone, she's been with me through it all for as long as I can remember. I will have to have Jhope fly her out to Korea with us from time to time.

. . .

Time skip

We woke up at 7 am to get our luggage packed into our designated cars that were taking us to the airport. I said my good byes to Lacie and we both ended up crying.

"Call me anytime of the day that you want. We will be on different time zones but I don't even care. Call me whenever you can, okay?"

"Always and you be sure to stay out of trouble and be good. If you need me for any reason at all, call me and I'm here for you Lace."

We hugged again and waved goodbye as our cars pulled away.

"Are you okay baby?" Jungkook asked as he held my hand.

I sighed as I laid my head on his shoulder. "Yeah, it's just really hard but I will be okay."

He kissed my forehead and we were silent the rest of the way to the airport.

Before we got there, the car stopped and I had to be moved into a different car with the staff until we could get on the plane. This was for my and the boys protection, so I was given a mask along with my passport, now ready to go.

The airport was polluted with fans and paparazzi that were waiting for the members. Once we made it through security, we were put into a very private room to wait in for our flight. I was able to see Jungkook again, but it wasn't long and we were moving onto the plane. My seat was beside his of course and once we were seated, he attacked me with kisses. "God that was torture, I missed being able to touch and kiss you."

I whispered softly in his ear. "Well now you can touch and kiss me whenever you want."

We giggled, we played, we looked out the window of the plane and discussed how this was my first time ever flying. We spent several hours doing this, until I eventually fell asleep.

3 hours later, I was being woken up again by several different voices.

Jungkook - "Liv, baby." Taehyung - "Hey, wake up sleepy head." Honi - "She's waking up now."

When I opened my eyes, I was startled to see 7 pairs of eyes all looking at me.

"Why are you all staring at me like that?"

"Look out the window." Jungkook said with a smile.

I turned my head, looking out the window and gasped.

"Welcome to Korea."

I smiled bringing him in for a kiss, then continued to look out the window with the biggest smile plastered on my face.

My whole world is about to change, and I have all those Nights in Vegas to thank for it all.

THE END. ♥️♥️♥️

.

A/N: Well, I'm officially sad!!! Nights in Vegas is now completed and I don't know how to feel. Writing this book has shown so much to me and I don't believe the love I've gotten for it.

I want to say thank you so much to everyone for your votes, comments, and kind messages. It kept me motivated to complete this story for you all. There is more to come though, a book 2 will be written soon enough for this book and I'm so excited for that!

Love you all so much! ♥️♥️

[ka0ila]

| Late

© Ka0ila 2023 — all rights reserved. i do not allow translations, or any kind of distribution on other platforms. this is my only account.

Pairing- Seungmin X Reader [9th member]

Argument, Problematic, Sensitive topic

Genre- Angst

Warnings- Angst, Smut, Degradation, Miscarriage, Sensitive topics [MDI!]

It had been going for days. Him coming back home late, for which i couldn’t care less because i had my own dead lines. I come back in the dorms usually expecting Seungmin to not be home. To my surprise i see him on the sofa on his phone,

“you’re back” he said without glancing at me. To which i simply nodded not caring whether he noticed or not. I was pissed at him, both of us are busy but i still atleast leave him one text a day to which he doesn’t bother to reply to. And him being in my dorm after weeks acting everything’s normal, pissed me off even more.

“you’re late?” Seungmin passed a snarky remark, “and you’re never?” i scoff. I wasn’t in the mood to argue or even talk but now if that’s what he wants, sure. “where were you?” Seungmin asked, “had work.” i simply replied while getting a glass of water for myself. “i searched the entire company, you weren’t there.”

Seungmin finally kept the book down, “what is this about seungmin, be fucking straight.” i look at him, placing the glass harshly on the counter top even before taking my first sip, “you know what i’m talking about” Seungmin said scoffing, “no seungmin, i fucking don’t. i dont know whatever you’re on, maybe i should be the one asking you, what the fuck do you want?” and i finally snapped. i was avoiding it, but it was about time.

nobody in the group ever tried to interfere in out arguments, ever. i looked at chan enter and leave, it was understandable, truly.

“seungmin you fucking don’t bother to even text me and now you’re mad at me? mad at me for what? because i didn’t bother to tell my whereabouts to my boyfriend who doesn’t even bother to see my text? or infact come home? or even tell me he’s gonna be late? sure.” i said chuckling.

“Oh don’t act like it’s my fault here, you would’ve done the same, if you were busy stop this whole blaming game” Seungmin said in his meanest tone.

“Yeah? maybe i should seungmin, fucking fine.” with that, i rush to the door and leave the dorms.

I needed time, it was too fucking much. We’re obviously not how we used to be.

“Stop leaving, (y/n), stop running away.” Seungmin said in a low voice. For some reason, it broke me. I stopped dead on my tracks, looking at the door with blank eyes, “i.. i leave seungmin? leave what? you? are you even there for me to leave you?”

“the world doesn’t revolve around you (y/n) i can’t always be here!”

“when are you? when are you here seungmin?” i said slowly looking back at him.

“i’ve been busy, why can’t you understand?” Seungmin said clenching his teeth.

“and i’m not? i understand you’re busy but the least you could do is atleast see my text? you know how shitty it makes me feel? you know i feel like im clingy and you’re tired of me.” i said,

“oh god, you know what, maybe i am.” with that, he turned away and made his way to his room.

that’s it. that’s fucking it. with that i open the door to leave but suddenly fall on the ground because of the striking pain in my stomach, blood..? why is there blood..? was i.. pregnant? “(y/n)? are you okay?!” i heard Minho and Hyunjin shout, “i.. i don’t..” and i passed out.

“hyung..?”

i got my consciousness back, but didn’t feel like opening my eyes, i was too tired. i could hear someone talking but wasn’t able to make out who it was. “she’s most likely to wake up soon, i’ll take my leave now, make sure she’s not stressed the moment she wakes up.” with that i heard the door open, where was i? “yes, doctor.” i hear a shaky voice, was it seungmin?

“im so sorry.. i.. it’s all my fucking fault.. i’m sorry (y/n)… we lost our baby, im so, so sorry.”

what?

i was broken, i had killed our baby, it was all my fault.

all my fault.

i couldn’t forgive myself, ever, i had been so.. so ignorant towards her, fuck. what will i do when she wakes up? i’m too ashamed for her to even see me. i get up, i didn’t deserve to be here, “where are you going?” i heard her speak, for some reason, i felt paralysed, unable to speak, move, react.

“are you gonna leave now, too?” no, no, no, how could i.

my head hung low, “i’m so.. so sorry,” something fell down my face, tears? was i crying? i couldn’t bring myself to look at her, at all. “i didn’t know either seungmin, it’s not your fault, i know you would’ve not behaved the way you did if you knew” i heard her speak in a small voice.

how can she say that? it still doesn’t justify what i did, no, not at all.

“it doesn’t justify the fact i was a jerk to you all these weeks (y/n). i feel ashamed that i realised after this happened, i too ashamed to even ask for your forgiveness, i..”

“isn’t it a bit too late seungmin?”

so, this had been in my drafts for quite a while now. personal opinion, i don’t like it. but i had to post something for yall, i have seriously no motivation these days, im so sorry :(

note: lmk if yall want a part 2 of this.

[broooooo]

My alternate universe

*I hope his works out guys, I'm trying something new *

*theme of story? - meeting me from an alternate universe*

Part 1- a test drive for if ppl like my idea!*

___

My name is Aaron, 21, male, 5 foot 11 and a half and asexual, I'm an art student in uni, I have blue eyes , skinny body yet I have some strengthand shoulder length dark hair. And when it comes to friends, i only have a few I never see in person.

I've always been somewhat of an outcast, never being able to fit in anywhere, I was never popular, I was never that smart,and I was never that athletic, I've always wondered my place in life

Now I never expect to leave the comfort of my room, house or country, not BC I'm arrogant and rich, it's just that, idk what I want in life, I've always been indecisive, and I don't have a passion for anything, I can draw quite well, but starting a career with that is not that easy , and I don't think I'm up to that task,

I blink once and one moment it's a specific year, and then I have ended up 4 years into the future, unsure of what I even did or what happened in these past 4 years, I'm my own Rapunzel, but without a Flynn rider to save me from my tower

It's not like I like this arrangement, I have dreams and wishes , but i never expect to be able to do any of it.

My dreams you might be thinking?

I wish to be a soccer player , American football could work too, not professionally persey , but just be able to play the game, have a life surrounded by it, muscular men, kicking a ball around, and having fun, then going out for beers , my insecurity is how I got into the hypnosis side of tumblr, if I could transform into a jock, then maybe my life could be complete, . thought it never happened, all I could do was jerk off to jock hypnosis porn or Tumblr posts,

It's happened so many times , I now don't feel anything from jerking off, I got bored ,tired even, why do this? It's never gonna work.

I recently bought myself a fake soccer jersey, why? Idk, not like I ever supported a team, but I felt intrigued enough to buy one, I mostly like looking at it, wearing it does nothing to me.

As a child, I'd always like the confidence the popular guys gave off, the rowdy footie guys , crazy as they might have been, I admired their confidence and doesn't give a fuck attitude, allot of them where like chavs, shiny tracksuits and tns, I liked them... Although some never liked me, quite visibly too, running away from me BC they think I was gay, clearly some of them had fragile masculinity and needed a reality check.

As a child , from my room, whenever I went onto my balcony, I could see the bright lights off a soccer pitch, far in the distance, it's all I can see , bright at night, but it's what I heard, I can still hear the shouts , grunts of guys kicking the ball , echoing in the darkness, close enough I could here it, I wished to join them.

You could say football/soccer has been secretly apart of me for my entire life, though I could never do anything to play, I never had a chance too. I really enjoy the kits.. cleats are my favourite part, they look so cool.

Tumblr has shown me many a big, dumb, horny, obedient, mindless football jock, many tf I stories jacked off too, many times I wished I could join them, even if I completely changed my life , or became a drone encased in latex . But it never came, and it never will.

But then... One fateful day, I'm chilling on my bed, as usual, when I scroll through Tumblr, seeing muscular guys, and tf stories , things I've grown accustomed too, I sighed and I could join them. I reached my hand out and grabbed the air, like something was there, for no reason, reaching out to grab a sliver of luck from the air. That's when everything went white, and suddenly I plopped on a messy bed, my bed?, and then a sudden, startled, what the hell and a loud gasp from the two of us.

Holding hands, we locked eyes onto each other, pale faces and wide eyes , it was like a distorted mirror, or a filter , but this guy, shorter hair, styled and messy, poster of players plastered on the walls, his body looked muscular and toned, a fuller beard, and on the floor where pieces of kit items and laundry, dumbbells , knee pads and a pile of basic laundry and a clear a soccer kit, the smell of the room was mucky and strong, with the hint of axe body spray, then seeing several of the body spray cans in the bed side table, the shelves had some trophies, medals, and small kits hung up on the wall., then I saw a beer bottle on the table,I turn to look deep into his eyes deep blue eyes, we let go and both instantly realised,

We were the same person..

____

Ooo Clif hanger, rawrrrrr

Tell me if you want to know what happens next 😅

[too-many-rooks]

Spoiler warning: Long rambly notes I took while watching season 3, disclaimer that a lot of this is just character moments/lines I found interesting and initial bones of an au idea for a burgeoning, extremely self indulgent slightly-darker-Alex in season 3 wip I’ve started.

Also it was the middle of the night and I was very tired and wired out of my gourd on some mix of cheap white wine and floods of hyperfixation-sourced dopamine. Also also I only started taking notes at ep 3?

Episode 3

Alex is SUCH a better spy this season than when he began even in the first few episodes prior to SCORPIA training he’s more careful and precise and the team feels better organised - he did so well on that boat I’m so proud of my baby

I’m actually enjoying Tom and Kyra fucking about more than I expected. Tom pulling Kyra together after the boat explosion suprised me by how emotive it was. But I do want them to.. go away. Alex should more isolated/desperate/have NO other choices than SCORPIA.

Everything in Malagosto seems so staged to just see how Alex will react to it all - here’s an unlocked door, here’s an Alex sized vent and a dead spot in the cameras, what are you gonna do about it? +Alex absolutely speaks French I think he’s just not giving that away yet

Oh yes yes lingering bad touch from Julia Rothman hitting the right notes even though that costume is a WILD kaftan moment. Evil carmen sandiago/noir femme fatale aesthetic where are you I miss you so much

Ohhhh Julia saying Ian walked away and abandoned him and that was what hit him worst oh my goooooooooood

(Outfit change from julie mean day change or is she just a multiple outfits a day kinda person. Believable, I guess)

Julia’s gaslighting I ssoooo crazy ‘we trust you. We want you.’ After having his closest people not trust him, and now maybe questioning if Ian even wanted him!

Julia fucking loved this, she’s totally thrilled by her own power. Queen 👸🏻.

God Jones and the department is going THROUGH IT THIS SEASON, just suddenly surrounded by corpses

Julia : offers irrefutable proof, upsets him, then presses him to continue believing what he did before and belittling his objections - very subtle but more firm tone of voice, less motherly/accepting, very clear that the noose around Alex’s neck is always there.

She’s so delighted at the prospect of making Alex into the perfect soldier

Julia: “I want you to meet your tutor”

Me: ‘here he here he comes here he comes.’ And then I threw of my blanket, pushed myself onto my knees, and started bouncing and palm clapping in sheer delight. I basically never happy stim like this but MY GOD the flood of dopamine is IMMENSE.

More manic laughter at the start of episode 4 realising I’m about to see John and young Yassen. Nicuragua! 18 years ago!

God nervous baby Yassen with a gun

HES!! SO!!! BABY!!!

Baby boy already got his colour scheme locked down

Baby Yassen has curls - is it just the humidity or maybe does he have naturally curly hair that he straightens so he looks less cute?

Johns actor has a real resemblance to Ian (and Jack Lowden) but less so to otto

Ohoho scar moment scar moment bc Yassen was nervous and fucked up two people one bullet

“Close your eyes” as I tell these people I’m going to shoot you and have faith

God cut to adult Yassen WATCHING ALEX SLEEP LOOKING SO INTENSE

“Leave the past behind us.” “Ian rider was a professional. It was not personal it was my job.” “Think of this as a school and your dead by the end of the day” (actual honesty for the first time)

Alex not committing to being able to work with Yassen is perfect

Yassen taking Alex TO HIS KNEES so easily besties not been slowed down too much by a bullet to the chest

Soaking wet!!!!!!!!

Alex shooting scene amazing, as was Yassen bursting into his room immediately after for a murder pep talk. Alex has no privacy privileges from Yassen

Yassen removing the humanity from his targets, names/faces/lives are irrelevant, they are just blank targets. “One day you’ll have to murder them.”

“That’s not gonna happen”

Yassen *be so ffr rn face*

Really interesting to see the other side of the department covering up an agent death and lying to the family - I like the department with more humanity/emotional resonance than pure ruthlessness

Shitty Malagosto communal dorm room and matching drab grey hoodies my beloved

Shame there’s no ‘your not afraid of a little prick are you?’ ‘I wouldn’t call you that’ line. (But switching out the ‘getting vaccinated will implant you with secret nano tech that will kill you’ plottline probs a good idea)

Ooooh Julia creepily poisoning him so excited making me think of her delighting in drugging him in a cocktail of ‘let me take care of you’ ways

Yassen pulling rank to break up the fight!!

Ooh Nile wants to take down Yassen so bad.

Toms film skills coming in clutch recording/ documenting things so Alex will be taken seriously, glad to see him be… less of a dead weight to the team

Begrudgingly-impressed-at-Alex Yassen, even with the “come on that’s a bad idea”, “yeah, but!” Teenagerisms

Yassen’s core (suppressed) emotions: fear, doubt, panic

Alex: love, hope, friendship (okay dear, 🙄 but remember you’re literally becoming an assassin why are you so niave all of a sudden?)

Alex insisting John saved him bc he had compassion and was his friend and that Yassen’s rejection of that makes him lonely oh oh my heart my heart

I LOVE how much fun Nile has being evil at his job of threatening children.

Episode 5

Oh my god HIT HIM ALEX where do you think you are? How do you think you’ll actually manage to get those trainees to trust you? Stop whining and hit the man with a wooden sword, christ

Smithers (in reference to Alex) “he’s out there being a teenager because of us” *cut to Alex, very much in danger, contemplating his capacity to kill*

Julia: “no one leaves,” [scorpia, me, interchangeable to her]

mission with Yassen!

Packing for the mission with Yassen!!!

Yassen can’t read his handwriting!!!

“You’ve put… lockpick?”

“I left my last one in Nile. “

Alex bitching about his meagre gadgets at point Blanc 💯

Matching tactical turtlenecks!!!

“I don’t want you to fail. I don’t want you to die.”

Alex and Yassen are a team but Yassen gives Alex command of them oh boysieeeee

Again glad they dropped the vaccine bit: vaccines aren’t dangerous, but vaping is!!

Of on a road trip with Yassen!!

A murder road trip!

Love Kyra seeing the shot and the body - I know why it didn’t happen but I do kinda wish for a more corrupted violent Alex coerced/bargained into firing it himself

That Tom confrontation was great - I do want to see it as like a ‘your getting in my way’ intentional cruelty to push him away and keep him safe when Alex is too deep in SCORPIA to be deluded about thinking he can go home

Alex rejects intimacy with Julia and she cracks down her authority ‘no one leaves’

Ep 6

Love Alex spooky in the cemetery, SCORPIA hot on his heels

Sharing a grotty safe house together god SO GOOD

“We trust each other. You should try it sometime.”

“If it’s not emotional why do you do it?”

“Because it’s my job. (Identity/life/personal connections/sacrificed everything for) I work for SCORPIA. I’m good at it. You could be too.” Olive branch of intimacy - wants alex to be more like him, so they can be equals, can share this life that he apparently finds satisfaction in, not thinking or making decisions beyond how best to achieve his goal/finish the task(/order)assigned to him/subject himself to feeling emotions/thinking about his life beyond his attempts to depersonalise himself as just a weapon - just a professional with no emotions, and that that is fundamentally who he is. Evidently having some inconvenient feelies about Alex tho.

Oh no his delivery disguise makes him look like a caveman. Glad he took off the accessories for the Jones confrontation, his hair actually looks great there all tousled. (Beginning to realise how important characters hair is to me bc I still hate Julia’s I want some dark perfect waves this Bob is ough)

I’m really glad they settled on Yassen NOT knowing about John - he twists it that John didn’t betray him bc he had nothing to gain from being kind to him, so it wasn’t false, but he is so 100% loyal to John, eager to twist any criticism. I do wish we’d seen more of their relationship, but expecting some Russian roulette bits was overly optimistic

“I know my place” he’s IMMEDIATELY off to rescue his boy (actually, where did he go? All of that last episode I was just WHAT ABOUT YASSEN? Was he just plotting a rescue that didn’t need to happen and waiting for his boy to show up?)

Dare I say… good for blunt? Stephen dillane is just so charming I can’t help but like him. And you see some flashes of his ruthlessness like when he talks to Greif but he’s not a 24/7 conniving monster. Also Jones in charge and Alex possibly (definitely) returning to spy work in a couple of years? I like that. Totally abandoning it would have felt unsatisfying.

Loved that moment on the roof - missed opportunity for them to awkwardly wave at each other, but I’m so happy I predicted wrongly and Yassen gets to live and walk away and put down his weapons. There’s so much space for how they can reconnect in that.