#now the scarier part of this entire thing is having to call the driving school and ask them when tf i can take the exam

[nugnthopkns]

whatcha say we just get away?

word count: 6.5k

warnings: explicit fem!reader, marriage, cursing, fleeting mention of future children, some kinda cheesy wedding tropes

recommended listening: side effects | jade bird

a/n: the idea of a big wedding scares the living daylights out of me so i wrote about eloping with tk :))

When Travis asks you to marry him, you think he’s joking.

The two of you are standing in the kitchen piecing together lunch. It’s a sunny Tuesday in Port Stanley, and Travis wants to take you out on the boat this afternoon. 

“What if we got married?” he says casually, putting the finishing touches on his sandwich. 

You shrug it off and continue chopping vegetables. “You’re hilarious. Got an upcoming audition with SNL?”

Travis doesn’t seem to like your response. He bumps your shoulder gently. “I’m serious.” 

“This isn’t a joke?” you ask, setting down the knife and turning to face him. “You want to marry me?”

He nods and rests his hands on your hips. “I’m absolutely positive. Will you marry me?”

No words come from your open mouth. Not wanting him to think you’re saying no, you nod your head vigorously. Travis’s laugh echoes off the small kitchen, bringing you back to earth slightly. His right thumb rubs comforting circles on your hip bone. Overcome with love for Travis, you curl your arms around his neck and pull him down to meet your lips. 

The kiss is passionate but incredibly soft. You both hold so much love for each other and do your best to convey it in the small gesture. Time passes you by, but you don’t mind. If you could kiss Travis forever you would. Eventually he pulls away for air but doesn’t let you go. Resting his forehead on yours he asks another question. “Is that a yes?”

You find your voice. “Of course you idiot!”

His smile lights up his entire face and it makes him look much too young to be betrothed. You suppose he is, that you both are – under twenty-five with your whole lives in front of you. However, you know that Travis is it for you. No one compliments you like he does, and no one ever will. Travis loves you wholly and without hesitation, and you hope he can see you feel the exact same way. 

“Fuck,” Travis groans, and it makes you arch your brow. “I don’t have a ring,” he explains. “I didn’t think I’d get the balls to suggest it or that you would say yes.”

A laugh bubbles over your lips as you shake your head. “I could care less baby,” you insist. “We don’t need rings to show how much we love each other.”

The two of you stand in the kitchen a while longer, kissing languidly and basking in the deeper level of love that comes with devoting your lives to one another. Lunch is long forgotten as you get ready for your afternoon adventure, but you remember to grab it on your way out the door. The drive to the water is almost identical to every single other time, spent singing along to the radio and laughing at the terrible impressions Travis tries to orchestrate, except this time your smiles are brighter and the sideways glances are sweeter. 

For being a beautiful day in a community of mostly retired people, the waters of Lake Erie are scarcely populated. The two of you essentially have the kilometres of coastline to yourselves, which feels like a sign from the universe to enjoy the newest honeymoon phase of your relationship. It’s so nice to spend an abundance of time with Travis in the summers, and it almost makes up for all the time you spend alone throughout the winter months. You let him navigate the boat wherever he wants, laying across one of the plush leather benches with your eyes closed. Occasionally, when Travis hits a wave a little too head on, water sprays gently over your face but you don’t mind. Truthfully, it offers a short respite from the heat of the sun’s rays. 

While you lounge your mind begins to wander to what your wedding will look like. Large crowds have always made you uneasy – you aren’t like Travis in that regard, able to feel comfortable in whatever environment you may be placed in. The idea of a small wedding is nice, but the two of you know too many people and pointedly not inviting a large number of them fills you with anxiety. Feelings would get hurt, people upset they can’t fight for a minute of your big day, and you’ve heard horror stories about wedding guest lists ending friendships. You also know your mother will want to have input in almost every decision, from bridesmaids dresses to cake flavours, and that’s not something you’re sure you can handle. Suddenly marrying Travis is a lot scarier a concept.

You realize that these are ridiculous thoughts to be having. You got engaged less than three hours ago – there’s no reason for you to immediately start planning the event. For Christ’s sake, you don’t even have a ring yet. Regardless, your mind replays your fears on a constant loop. All you can do to quell the storm in your mind is sit and focus on the taut muscles of Travis’s shoulder blades.

“Now that we’re engaged you’re just going to ignore me?” Travis jokes, dropping the anchor and making his way over to you. He had pulled into a small bay, mostly out of view from the public and hard to find, so the two of you could swim and enjoy each other’s company in peace. 

You shoot him a pointed look, and he immediately understands there’s something lying beneath the surface.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

It’s stupid to be stressing over thing so soon, but you can’t stop. You wonder if you’re even going to be able to go through with the wedding seeing you’re already so worked up about it. Travis kneels in front of you, hand on your knee as his eyes meet yours through two pairs of sunglasses. “No judgement here sweetheart. Say whatever’s on your mind.”

You know he’s being sincere. There’s never any judgement from Travis. No matter how dumb a statement or how terrible a fashion choice he never thinks any less of you. “I was just thinking, well overthinking, about the wedding,” you mumble. “And I know it’s stupid because we have nothing planned and don’t have rings but I can’t stop myself from stressing over it. I legitimately don’t know if I can plan a wedding.”

“That’s quite possibly the farthest thing from stupid,” he insists. “It’s a valid thing to be worried about. Honestly, I don’t know if I want to take the heat for not doing things the way others think they should be done. But we have so much time to figure everything out.” Travis pushes himself off the ground and slides into the seat beside you. He wraps an arm around your shoulders and places a peck to the crown of your head. 

“I think that’s part of the issue Trav. We won’t get married until next summer, which is fine, but I’m going to have so much time to overthink every single decision.”

Travis doesn’t respond verbally. Instead, he grasps your left hand in his and raises it to his lips. The kiss he presses to your ring finger, where the engagement ring would be if you had one, sends shivers down your spine. It’s a simple gesture, sweet and to the point, but it grounds you. No matter what happens, the two of you will face it together hand in hand. 

The water is cold when you eventually get in, but it’s refreshing and allows you to relax. You do more floating than serious swimming, watching as Travis swims laps around the small area you’ve claimed as your own. “Can’t even take a break from training now that we’re engaged?” you ask, throwing him the same jab he gave hours ago. 

“Gotta stay fit for the big day,” he pants, obviously tired from trying to up his endurance level. “Holy fuck, I’ve swam nearly three kilometres since we got in.”

You’re wickedly impressed and have half a mind to challenge him to keep going, to see how far he can go, but you can tell his energy is fading. Pretty soon he’ll be ready to fall asleep and you can’t drive the boat. Not wanting to be stuck on the lake overnight, you speak. “Let’s get you home there cowboy. I’ll drive once you park this damn boat.”

The rest of the night is quiet. Once back on dry land, you take control of the reins, jumping into the driver’s seat before Travis can protest. You stop to pick up dinner from a small pizzeria on the main street before continuing to the modest cottage you call home in the summer months. It’s all Travis can do to keep his eyes open on the ride home, and as soon as he finishes his pizza he’s asleep on the couch, head resting heavy in your lap. 

You card your fingers through his hair, scratching lightly at the scalp as you read your book. While you were in school you didn’t have much time to read for pleasure, so since graduating you’ve been trying to catch up. You graduated nearly two years ago and still haven’t made it through your to be read shelf, but it isn’t for lack of trying. It seems that new books constantly find a home there and the three books a months you average isn’t cutting it. Maybe one day when you retire you’ll be able to make a serious dent. 

It’s silent while Travis sleeps, but you find it comforting. There’s nothing to distract you from the fictional world playing out on the pages, and you lose the anxieties you’ve felt simmering since thinking about your very distant wedding. When Travis wakes up an hour later you’ve finished your book and are staring at the ceiling. 

“You could have gotten up to grab another,” Travis murmurs, voice laced with sleep. 

You shrug. “Didn’t want to wake you. Plus I just wanted to think about some things, how I want to tackle the next year.”

Travis frowns, and you can tell he’s regretting asking the question because you’re so obviously worked up. 

“I know what you’re thinking, babe,” you say to comfort him. “And you’re wrong. There’s nothing I want more in the world than to marry you. I just didn’t realize how hard it was going to be to do things without pissing off half the people we want to invite.”

You slowly peel away from him, holding out a hand and smiling when he takes it. The two of you retire to your bedroom, and get ready in silence. You know Travis is still mulling things over, and quite honestly, you are too. Preparing to get married, no matter how far away the day might be, is a lot. After brushing your teeth and washing your face you settle into Travis’s open arms, tracing over the tattoos that call his bicep home. Travis unwinds in his own way, twirling a lock of your hair around his index finger. 

“What if we eloped?”

This question is as sudden as when he asked you to marry him in the first place. Your hand halts its actions immediately, moving to his chest so you can push yourself up to look at him. “You’re serious?”

He nods enthusiastically, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Dead serious. I know you’ve never wanted a big wedding,” he says. That much is true. You’ve never enjoyed being the center of attention, and the idea of more than twenty people watching your every move has you freaking out. “You’re so stressed already about pleasing everyone that I’m worried you won’t be able to enjoy it when the day actually comes. And to be quite frank, I could give less of a shit about the ceremony or reception. All I want to do is marry you because I love you. So let’s get rid of the things we think we have to do and just do it our own way.”

A single tear slides down your cheek. You can’t help it – you’re so relieved he’s willing to do whatever would make you the most comfortable, even if it means sacrificing something as important as a proper wedding. “That would be perfect.” 

Travis kisses you for what might be the millionth time today but you do not care. His lips are soft against yours and make you feel safe and warm. Nothing goes too far as you’re both just enjoying the thought of such a special moment being between just the two of you.

“I was also thinking we could do it this week,” he says casually, as if no work has to go into this because you’re eloping.

You sit up immediately. “Pardon?” you ask shocked. “Trav, just because we aren’t going to have a wedding doesn’t mean we can just do it whenever we please. We need to get a marriage license and make an appointment at the courthouse.”

“It’s the middle of summer and we live in an area where the youngest people other than us are like fifty, I think things will come together pretty quickly.” 

It’s hard for you to argue with his logic. Travis has a point – the chances of other people trying to get married in the next few days is very slim. The idea doesn’t sound horrible either, getting to marry the love of your life as soon as possible. You agree to look into things in the morning and fall asleep curled into Travis’s chest, his arms secure around you.

Wanting to get married within the week turns out not to be a problem. After Travis completes his morning workout the two of you travel the short distance to the courthouse to get a marriage license. It’s incredibly easy, each of you only needing to provide two pieces of identification, and while you’re there you pick a time slot for your civil service. You’ll be back at the building in two days, next time walking out as a married couple. 

“See, it was so easy,” Travis says, bumping your hip with his own on the way back to the truck. 

“Fuck off,” you grumble. No matter how hard you try you can’t find it within yourself to be mad at him. You’re incredibly excited, and are actually glad you don’t have to wait very long. It would have been a pain to wait a whole twelve months. 

The next order of business in ‘planning’ your wedding is finding two witnesses. You would have had no problem asking Travis’s parents, but they’re currently on a vacation to the east coast. The idea of phoning your mother and asking her to book a flight to attend a wedding she didn’t get a say in makes you nauseous, so it’s completely out of the question. Port Stanley might be small, but you and Travis are only there a few months out of the year and don’t know anyone besides your next door neighbours. Mr. and Mrs. Stevenson are an adorable eldery couple you invite over for dinner every week. 

Travis agrees that you should include them, and as soon as you get home the two of you are knocking on their door, pitcher of lemonade in hand. 

“Oh hello dears,” Mrs. Stevenson coos. “This is such a nice surprise. Richard is out on the back patio, come join us.”

You smile at the older lady and follow her through the modest cottage. The walls are covered in photos from family trips and graduations – you hope one day you and Travis’s will look the same. Once in the backyard the four of you settle into comfortable conversation, sipping lemonade and enjoying the sunshine. Ever the hockey fan, Mr. Stevenson asks Travis about the upcoming season, and they chat while you rise to help bring snacks to the small table. 

After a while, the conversations lull and Travis is able to bring up what you came over for. “Do you guys have any plans for Friday morning?” he asks casually, popping a slice of red pepper into his mouth. 

“Not that I can think of,” Mr. Stevenson says. “Can you think of anything Dottie?”

His wife shakes her head. “Nothing comes to mind. What’s the matter?”

Suddenly you’re nervous, and entwine your fingers with Travis’s to ground yourself. He squeezes gently, a gesture of encouragement that has you able to find your voice. “We were wondering if you could do us a favour,” you begin, “And be the witnesses at our wedding? We have an appointment at the courthouse at eleven-thirty.”

It’s silent, and you’re petrified they’re going to say no. You turn to look at Travis, who looks just as apprehensive as you. His grip on your hand tightens and all you can do is wait for a response. 

“We would be honoured,” they exclaim at the same time, and you let go of a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in. It’s settled – you have all the components for the paperwork, which means you can legitimately and legally get married. You’re absolutely giddy. 

The questions come then – when did Travis ask you, how are you going to tell your families, what does your ring look like – and when you quietly say that you don’t have one Mrs. Stevenson jumps out of her seat. 

“Oh child, that simply won’t do!”

You’re quick to your own defence. “It’s truly fine Mrs. Stevenson –”

“You can just call me Dottie dear.”

“Dottie,” you say, her first name rolling uncomfortably off your tongue. It will definitely take some getting used to. “I told Trav I didn’t need a ring. Being married to him is enough.” You smile in his direction and Travis returns the look with ease. 

Not caring, the elderly lady heads into the small cottage, saying she has something that would work perfectly. Mr. Stevenson rolls his eyes and apologizes for his wife’s antics, but you insist it’s okay. She returns a minute later with quite possibly the prettiest ring you’ve ever seen. Attached to a thin gold band is a deep green emerald. The stone isn’t obnoxiously large, possibly even on the smaller side, and is completely your style. No other gems accompany it, letting the emerald take center stage. 

“Wow,” you breathe. “It’s stunning.” 

Travis leans over your shoulder to get a look and lets out a short whistle. “Totally you babe,” he chimes in.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Mr. Steveson shouts in encouragement. “Put it on her young man!”

You let loose a laugh, and soon the others join in. Travis takes it at Dottie’s insistence and places it gingerly on your finger. It’s a perfect fit, and you can’t help but let a few tears escape. Your eyes meet Travis’s and you see he’s trying to hold back tears, but is failing miserably. Overcome with emotion, you lean forward and press your lips to his. The kiss is sweet, but still all-consuming. Travis’s hands reach up to cup your face, continuing the exchange for probably longer than appropriate in public. The Stevensons coo gently in the background, having a conversation between themselves about how adorable you both are. You don’t hear them though, too wrapped up in Travis and the fact that everything feels like it has fallen into place. 

After having a small argument about whether or not you can actually accept the ring, at which both Stevensons insist you should keep it, you help set the table for dinner. The meal is quite enjoyable, and you clean up despite the protests from Dottie. Once everything is squared away you and Travis go to make your exit. You hadn’t meant to intrude on their night, but you’re glad you did. On your way out the door, Mr. Stevenson, who followed his wife in demanding you call him by his first name, slips a small bag into Travis’s hand. 

“Found these in our jewelry box. I think you might want them,” he winks, smiling softly before shooing you off with a loving tone with a promise to see you on Friday. 

Peaking inside the bag once inside the safety of your own home, you pull out two delicate gold bands, one that looks about your size and one that matches Travis’s. It’s clear they’re meant to be your wedding bands, and you’re once again overcome with emotion. What did you do to deserve such kind neighbours?

Your night, and the day that follows are quiet. For the most part you go about your normal routine, puttering around while waiting for Travis to finish his workout and a meeting he has with the Flyers front office. He packs a lunch while you answer a call from your boss, who has a question about when you’ll be returning to Philadelphia. She chats with you for a while, catching up on all your summer adventures. You make sure to conceal your enagement, not wanting all of Philly to fin out before your families. Though you love your boss, she’s not well known for keeping secrets. Once all your affairs are finished, the two of you lock the front door and head to the lake. 

“Where you taking me today cowboy?” you giggle as Travis steers the boat out of the marina. 

He tips his hat at the nickname and speaks slowly, trying to mimic a southern accent a la John Wayne. “Gotta keep it a surprise darlin’,” he drawls. A laugh punctuates his sentence, and Travis can’t keep the charade up any longer. “I actually don’t have a destination. Thought we could just cruise around.”

It’s a good enough plan for you, and you sit close by while the pair of you travel the coast. The sun glistens off the top of the calm water while you float and your eyes grow heavy for the warmth. You indulge them, allowing them to flutter shut. 

“You’re literally the worst company ever,” Travis grumbles as soon as he notices your resting figure. 

Not bothering to open your eyes you shoot him the finger. “Fuck off, you’re the one who wants to marry me.”

“Damn straight.”

Despite being ‘terrible company’, Travis doesn’t try too hard to get away from you. Eventually he anchors the boat in a small cove and the pair of you spend a few hours swimming and soaking up the sun’s rays. Just existing like this, with Travis, is enough to calm any nerves you might have about tomorrow. Though it will be a low-key affair and no one will be in attendance, getting married is a huge deal. You would be more alarmed if you didn’t have any anxieties. 

It’s dusk when you secure the boat in its slip and hop in the truck to return home. The wind coming off the water sends shivers down your spine, though you do your best to hide it. Travis notices, however, and slips the hoodie he was sporting over shoulders. 

“Thanks,” you murmur appreciatively. He doesn’t respond, just shoots you a wide grin. 

The many hours spent in the sun have tired you out, and as soon as you’re inside you bolt towards the bed. You don’t even bother to change before slipping under the covers. When Travis appears in the room a few minutes later, he laughs at the sight of you with the duvet pulled up to your chin. 

He lies directly on top of you, and you shift slightly to accommodate the added weight. The room is silent save for your breathing, and it’s peaceful. You’re looking forward to spending the rest of your life like this. 

“We have to go brush our teeth,” Travis murmurs into the crook of your neck, punctuating his words with sweet kisses.

The noise that leaves your throat is one of strangled protest. “But I’m really comfy,” you groan. “Besides I can’t get up with you on top of me.”

“Touché.” He slowly separates his form from yours and extends a hand to help you up. “You still have to get up. I don’t want to marry someone with bad breath.”

You stick your tongue out at him in response, but grab his hand and allow him to drag you to the bathroom. What unfolds next is straight out of Bring It On. The two of you brush your teeth in silence, occasionally making faces at each other in the mirror. Travis grins at you, mouth full of toothpaste, and you can’t help but laugh. 

“Stop laughing!” he shouts after spitting into the sink. Nimble fingers find your sides, and before you can process what’s happening he’s digging them into you. 

In an attempt to squirm out of his grasp and run away, you miss the sink rather ungracefully. Toothpaste dots the bathroom counter, but it’s the least of your worries. It will take two seconds to clean up once Travis isn’t hellbent on tickling you to death. You break free of his hold and dart down the hall away from him. 

Travis rolls his eyes before grabbing a cloth to wipe away the remains of your desperate getway. When he enters the bedroom again you’re grabbing a faded 67’s tshirt to pull over head. He waits until you’re finished before wrapping his arms around your middle, no intentions of acting childish this time. You lean into his touch and he rests his chin comfortably on your shoulder. The two of you stand there for a while, swaying gently and thinking about the morning. Eventually Travis breaks away, leaving you to finish getting ready for bed, but not before placing a kiss to the nape of your neck. 

“I can’t believe we’re going to be married by lunchtime tomorrow,” you sigh as Travis climbs into bed beside you and flicks off the lamp on his bedside table. 

“It’s fucking insane, eh?”

Your lips turn into a smile, because it is in fact insane. Two days ago you were content just being with Travis and now in less than fourteen hours you’ll be his wife. Although the change is sudden, it feels right – to no other person would you want to get married. Travis is it. 

He shuffles closer to close the gap between you. His hand travels to your hair, twirling it around his finger, and you rest your head on his chest. Your eyes flutter shut but you make no attempt to keep them open. A long night of rest will be useful in helping to quell your nerves in the morning. 

“Sweet dreams Trav,” you mumble into the darkness. 

You swear you can hear the smile in his voice when he responds, “Night sweetheart.”

When you awake the next morning Travis’s arms are still tightly wrapped around you. You had assumed he’d be up earlier than normal, making sure to get a good run in before returning to get ready. Instead, his head is buried in your hair and he’s snoring softly. A quick glance at your alarm clock tells you it’s time to get up unless you want to run the risk of running late to your own wedding.

“Trav,” you whisper softly, rolling over in his grasp. “We’ve gotta get up.” When you don’t get a response, you lightly trace the outline of his nose and speak a little louder. “Babe, we’re going to be late if we don’t get our asses in gear.”

Travis shoots up at the mention of your wedding, clearly excited. “Good morning soon-to-be Mrs. Konecny,” he says before making a disgusted face. “Forget I ever said that. Totally not our style.”

You can’t help but giggle and agree. Cheesy gestures of affection have never really been your thing, and it feels strange to try it out now. You peck Travis’s cheek quickly before pushing off the covers and heading to the bathroom. After grabbing a towel from the small linen rack in the corner you turn the water on and undress. Travis walks by the open door and whistles, so you laugh and flip him off before letting yourself be enveloped by the water.

The steam helps to relieve the tension in your shoulders you didn’t know was there. You suppose it’s just natural for you to be slightly anxious – even though practically nothing can go wrong a thousand what-ifs float around your mind. Going about your typical shower routine helps calm you down and take your mind off things, and when you step out of the bathroom most of your nerves have been replaced with sheer excitement. 

Not wanting to get into the white sundress you decided to wear until you’re practically out the door, you slip into lounge clothes and go to join Travis in the kitchen. He’s munching away on a bowl of cereal but slides a cup of coffee across the counter for you. It’s made just the way you like it, of course, and you offer a quick thanks. When you move around to the other side of the island to make a bagel, you bump your hip against his. It’s quiet in the room, both of you in your heads as you picture what it will be like to say ‘I do’, but it’s nice. You eat in silence, and then it’s Travis’s turn to shower while you clean up the few dishes that were dirtied during breakfast. 

After everything is squared away you go to finish getting ready. It’s warm, over twenty-five degrees, so you decide to pull your hair into a simple updo to keep it out of your face. Though no one will be there to judge you, you still want to look the tiniest bit put together. Your makeup consists of sunscreen and lip balm, knowing that Travis wants to spend the afternoon on the water. Besides, it’s so hot you’d be uncomfortable in anything else. With nothing to do but sit and wait for Travis to be ready, you turn your attention to the ring on your left hand, soon to be accompanied by another. 

The emerald glistens as you twist the ring from side to side and you make a mental note to once again thank Mrs. Stevenson for giving it to you. Your thoughts are disrupted by Travis asking you a question. 

“Are you going to kill me if I wear shorts?”

“As long as they aren’t track shorts you’re fine,” you shrug. “It’s fucking hot out.”

He arches his brow. “So I can wear the camo ones?”

“If you really want to Trav.”

Travis does not, in fact, wear the camo ones, but a respectable khaki pair. He also rolls the sleeves of his button down up to try and combat the heat. It’s a good look, and you make sure to tell him so. The compliments return ten-fold and you can’t help but blush. Even after so many years together Travis still knows how to give you butterflies. 

“Zip me up?” you ask, spinning around so your back is to him. 

He nods and carefully tugs the zipper along your spine to secure the fabric. Once finished, Tavis rests his hands on your hips and turns you to face him. He rests his forehead against yours and looks at you with the most love filled expression you’ve ever seen. 

“I love you,” he whispers. 

You smile and press closer to him, mumbling against his lips. “I love you too.”

The kiss you share is soft and warm. Like so many others you’ve shared, it makes you feel whole. Kissing Travis is the one time you feel like you’re right where you’re supposed to be. Time seems to slow down, and truthfully you don’t know how long you spend kissing Travis in the middle of your bedroom. It’s long enough that you have to rush out the door, almost forgetting the rings in the shuffle. 

Even though you insisted you had no problem driving the four of you to the courthouse, the Stevensons insist on taking their own vehicle. “We having some shopping to do,” Mr. Stevenson explains, “And you won’t want to hang two old folks just after getting married! It’s the time to be young and in love.”

You can’t convince them to join you in Travis’s truck no matter how hard you try. The two of you eventually let them have their way and wave as you back out of the driveway with them to follow you shortly. The drive is quiet, like so many other moments this morning, and the closer the clock gets to your appointment time, the antsier you get. You just want to get it over with and finally be married to Travis. 

“Babe, you’re gonna wear a hole in the floorboard from bouncing your foot so much,” Travis laughs. His hand leaves the steering wheel to rest just above your knee, effectively stopping your movement. 

“Just excited,” you say honestly. “And nervous.”

Travis’s thumb rubs comforting circles on your bare skin as he speaks. “Me too. But I know that no matter what everything will be perfect because I love you and you love me and that’s all that matters.”

Before you know it you’re pulling into a parking spot and waiting for your witnesses to arrive. They must have got caught at a red light because they join you a few minutes later. There’s still a bit of time until you’re set to face the judge, but the four of you head inside anyways. Your fingers are laced tightly with Travis’s and you practically cling to him but no one says anything. After alerting reception to your presence you pace the hallway outside the courtroom. 

Nothing about this is traditional, but Dottie still ushers you away from your husband-to-be in order to give you a little pep talk. As you’re being ushered around the corner you see Mr. Stevenson doing something similar with Travis. 

“Don’t worry about him dear, Richard will make sure he doesn’t flee. Though I know he’d never think about it,” she says. “He’s good for you, and you’re good for him.”

You smile at her statement. The two of you really are meant for each other. Dottie talks a bit more, hyping you up and giving you some advice for married life. You rejoin the boys just before the group is called. 

“The Konecnys? Judge Holloway is ready for you.” 

Butterflies flutter in your stomach upon hearing the name that will be yours in a matter of minutes. You all follow the official into the chamber and wait for further instruction. 

“I do believe congratulations are in order,” the judge says. Applause comes from the Stevensons, and you press your face into Travis’s shoulder, embarrassed. “I’m Judge Holloway, and I’ll be performing the ceremony today. Before we get started, are there any objections?”

Both you and Travis shake your head. “No,” you enunciate in unison. 

“Perfect. I just need the marriage license and then we’ll be good to go.”

Travis hands the official document over, and the judge does some preliminary signing to make the aftermath a bit easier. While you wait you can’t stop smiling at Travis – not that you’d rather be doing anything else. Since this is a justice of the peace ceremony no religious elements are included, which you’re thankful for. Neither you nor Travis had time to write your own vows but had agreed to share them privately at a later date. Everything happening in the present was strictly legal and made the process quite speedy. 

“Alright, now that the technicalities are out of the way we can get to the fun stuff.”

The comment makes you laugh. Though hearing the legalities of marriage was slightly mind-numbing, you’d call everything that’s happened so far fun. Perhaps that’s only because you’re the one getting married. 

“Y/N,” the judge says. “Do you accept Travis as your lawfully wedded spouse?”

“I do.” You’ve never been more sure of anything in your life.

Then it’s Travis’s turn, and he’s spitting the words out before the officiant can finish the sentence. “I do.”

Laughter bounces off the walls at his eagerness. You shake your head and remember to tease him about it later. He just shoots you a wink.

Judge Holloway looks into your small crowd. “I imagine one of you has the rings?”

Travis fishes around in his pocket and pulls out the drawstring back they’re being held in. The judge nods in approval. “Place the ring on the third finger of your partner’s left hand and repeat after me. This ring signifies my devotion to you, and shall serve as a reminder that I will cherish you forever.”

Both of you repeat the words, and both tear up when placing the rings. They flow freely down your cheeks, and Travis wipes them away with his thumb. 

“I think I know what comes next,” he whispers to you. 

Taking the opportunity to tease him a little bit, you nudge his shoulder. “Oh yeah? Think you’ve had enough practice?”

“Guess we’ll just have to find out.”

You turn your attention back to the judge, who speaks once again. “By the power vested in me by the Marriage Act, I do hereby pronounce Travis and Y/N to be married.” 

Once again, applause rings out, and you can’t help but giggle against Travis’s lips as he pulls you in for a kiss to ‘seal the deal’. It’s earth-shattering, your first kiss as husband and wife, and you can’t help but deepen it by wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him even closer. When you break apart neither of you can stop smiling. 

Your party signs along the dotted line of the marriage certificate and you accept the well wishes of the judge before exiting the room. In the hallway the Stevensons envelope you both in a giant hug. “Thank you both for being here,” you say, voice watery. You haven’t stopped crying since you got to sign your last name as Konecny for the first time. 

“We’re incredibly honoured you chose us,” Dottie exclaims, grasping your hands to let you know just how much it meant to her. Her husband nods in agreeance, and you say your goodbyes, promising to have them over for dinner in a few days. You watch their figures retreat out the courthouse doors, and then you’re alone with Travis. 

He looks ethereal – the post wedding glow is something you know won’t go away any time soon. Though the whole thing was quite unconventional you wouldn’t change it for the world. Something about it is so distinctly you and Travis: the spontaneity of it all, how it happened on your own accord. You know you’ll receive an earful when you call your families to let them know of the change, but you don’t care. At no time will you ever be as happy as you are now. 

Your fingers find his for possibly the hundredth time today but neither of you complain, so in love with each other you’re sure if any of his teammates were here Travis would be getting chirped into oblivion. 

“What do you say Konecny? Want to get out of here?” he asks, punctuating the end of his statement with a kiss to the tip of your nose. 

You’ve never heard him have a better suggestion. “Lead the way lover boy.”

 ❥❥❥

taglist: @jamiedrysdales​ @kiedhara​ @tortito​ @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows​ if you want to be added shoot me an ask :)

[thexanwillshine]

internal travesties | levihan

pairing: levi x hange ; minor: eren x mikasa 

genre: romance/ fluff / slight angst

warnings: contains spoilers for chapters 105, 115. and 132

chapters: 1. 2. 3 (final).  

words: 4,648

summary: 

Levi felt his eye twitch in annoyance. She didn't look particularly special, but she entered (no, infiltrated) his cafe with bright eyes and all smiles, making him feel things that he never even felt before. Which was, in his opinion, completely unacceptable. Levi Ackerman hated feeling out of control. 

[Reincarnation! AU] [Levihan] [Minor Eremika]

crosspostings: AO3. 

note: i hope you guys enjoy ehehe <3 thank u for reading and i hope to see u all again very soon.

His memories feel like a travesty. 

Ever since he was young, Levi couldn’t help but feel as if there was something missing in his life. 

His brushes with insomnia gave him headaches no painkiller could cure. It was on those days that Levi’s mind went wild and his thoughts plagued him, ridding him of the sweet drug called sleep. Lonely nights like that made the man feel tired, as his brain was constantly exhausting itself in its search for answers he didn’t even know the questions to. 

On this particular cold night, he gives in to need, and chooses to contemplate his life. 

Levi could say that he had a fairly normal childhood. Even with his sweet darling of a mother, an invisible father, and his gloomy, sort-of sister, it had been rather uneventful. Technically, Mikasa was his cousin, but since they had grown up together she might as well have been his younger sister. Mikasa’s mother (his aunt) had asked if Mikasa could stay with his family when she turned ten so that the young girl could get a good school in the city. His mother, saint that she was, obviously agreed. 

He could remember a time when the young girl would always drag him to supervise her and her friends (all of whom were taller than Levi now, much to his chagrin) to pacify the concerns of Levi’s mother. As Mikasa matured, the young girl stopped making him constantly accompany her, since his mother trusted Mikasa enough to take care of herself at this point. In fact, Levi thought she would probably go out of her way just to get him not to come. Except when he would drive her. That darned girl thinks that he’s her own personal chauffeur.

While the two had their grievances, they maintained an understanding between them. Levi inherited his mother’s cafe called The Underground, and Mikasa went on to continue her parents’ legacy in the field of biology, choosing to major in botany like her mother. Sometimes, whenever Mikasa didn’t have midterms or finals or any exam that could potentially ruin her future, he would allow her to help out in the cafe once in a while. That way, she could technically say that she had experience working. It also gave Levi a good excuse to have extra hands. For Mikasa, it was a good way to earn money even though she didn’t really need to; Levi would give her cash whenever she would ask. 

Contrary to popular belief, Levi did have friends. There was Eld, the assistant manager he knew he could rely on because of his leadership skills. Oruo, who worked better as a cashier because of his case of Constant Threat of Tongue-Biting Which Could Lead To Bleeding . As much as possible, Levi wanted to keep him away from food. Gunther, who’s speed in the kitchen was god-tier. Then there was Petra, a young, budding barista whose skills were definitely commendable. 

Granted, all his friends were people who worked for him in the restaurant. There were several kids who worked for him part-time but they were more his responsibility rather than friends. Most of them were Mikasa’s friends, so at least there was someone accountable for them. Although, he had to admit they were very reliable.  

There’s also that one lawyer who had taken it upon himself to consistently come every morning to the cafe. He said his name was Erwin, and Levi would be lying if he told himself he wasn’t weirded out by the man. The blonde had stared him down on several occasions, as if waiting for him to say something. Once, when Levi couldn’t take it anymore, he asked him directly. 

“Any particular reason why you’re always staring openly at me?” Levi had asked rudely, scrunching his eyebrows at the man in confusion. 

Erwin shook his head in response before introducing himself, even handing the coffee owner a business card. Levi stared at the business card, wondering why in the world he would need a lawyer (god forbid he ever needs one, he’d rather not go to court over anything, really). Erwin Smith, the card had read. “You’ll see me here often since my father works close by.” 

After that, Erwin had frequented the cafe and even made friends with his employees. Petra says he tips very generously. Oruo thinks Erwin can do better. Levi doesn’t necessarily give a flying fuck, but he can’t help but feel as if he’d met or at least seen Erwin somewhere before. 

Levi goes on with his somewhat boring life. Once in a while, whenever he was feeling particularly sociable, he would agree to a cup of tea with Erwin and engage in random conversations about his job and his life. The man was not a pain to talk to. In fact, the entire time they talked, Levi was nagged by a certain familiarity he couldn’t quite place. He felt as if he knew the blond on a much deeper level than he was aware of. He shrugs it off. 

Sometimes, Levi would accompany his friends for drinks (but would never drink any, he hated the taste of alcohol with a passion). Apart from his sudden bouts of social energy,  the man thought his life to be ritualistic, monotone, and organized. He wasn’t complaining, of course; this is exactly what Levi wanted. Sometimes, however, whenever he would be driving home alone with the silence nagging his ears . . . Levi would feel an emptiness emerging from the back of his mind, clouding his thoughts until dawn.

His mind flew back to Erwin as he remembered the lawyer asking him a question in passing on a particularly slow work day. He had been clearing the table beside the blond when Erwin spoke. “Don’t you ever feel as if all your life, you’ve been waiting for something to happen? Like all these good things come to you but nothing really ever feels enough?”

Levi had glared at him, because yes , he definitely has . That every waking moment of his life he could never feel truly satisfied . He chose to maintain his silence. 

To Erwin’s credit, he dropped the subject and smiled softly, as if he could sense Levi’s discomfort. “Sorry,” Erwin said, chuckling. The man waved a wad of papers in his hand. “This case has been particularly mind-provoking, so I’ve been randomly spouting out philosophical questions to anyone who would be willing to listen.” 

“Good luck,” Levi replied shortly, taking the tray of empty cups in his hands and walking towards the staff room. 

Many a time, Levi had wondered how much of him was an open book. He liked to think that he was a pretty closed-off, ambiguous kind of guy. But Erwin had pretty much hit the mark—Levi had indeed settled, but he wasn’t sure if he was satisfied. 

Unfortunately, Erwin wasn’t the only blond who spouted weird questions out of the blue.

Levi had known Armin Arlert since he was a young boy. He remembers glaring at bullies who would tease and mock the poor child, before taking Mikasa and her rowdy group of troublemakers to another playground. Levi knew Mikasa was a reserved child, but it seemed as if her maternal instincts kicked in whenever she could sense Armin was in danger. While the young girl’s other friends were strong enough to defend themselves from the bullies whenever they were the target, Mikasa had long established that people shouldn’t even dare cross her (or her even scarier big “brother”). 

When Armin turned fifteen, his gait changed. Gone was the boy who would whimper as quiet as possible whenever he felt threatened. He still maintained his love for reading, but Armin suddenly adopted a mature mindset that seemed as if he possessed knowledge well-beyond his years. For a time, Mikasa would express her worry for the teenager in her and Levi’s rare conversations. Apparently, Armin had cried and launched himself on both Mikasa and Eren, holding them close to him as if the three of them had spent years apart from each other . . . when in fact, it was the middle of the day. 

Levi was no stranger to Armin’s inquisitive questions about topics the dark-haired man knew nothing of (and didn’t bother to care about). Hence, he thought that the young blond’s strange inquiries couldn’t get any stranger. 

Obviously, Levi was wrong. 

“Levi, do you ever feel as if this life was a second chance? Like, as if right now, you’re you, but not really. Like, there was once a past you, who was different from you now, but the you now is still you. So reincarnation, basically. Or maybe we’re in a different dimension and there are others out there who’re living a different life from us. That I’m just one Armin out of multiple Armins in the universe.” Armin’s questions and speculations came in rapid-fire as he leaned on the counter. “What do you think?”

“I think you need to stop reading science fiction ‘cos it messes with your brain,” Levi responded as he finished counting the coins in the cash register. “Unlike you, I don’t bother with the intricacies of life, brat.” Armin’s inquisitive expression fell into one of dismay as he frowned. 

Levi sighed inwardly as he closed the cash register. “I think the idea of reincarnation makes more sense compared to multiple universes though.”

Armin immediately brightened up when he looked at Levi, before diverting his gaze at Mikasa in what seemed like triumph. “I told you so!” he chirped gleefully. Thanks Levi.” 

Mikasa didn’t reply, but her scalding glare told Levi everything she wanted to say:  ‘Don’t encourage him!’ Levi rolled his eyes and went back to the kitchen, shutting out Eren’s excited questions (“Do you really think we had past lives? Do you think I was cool? Oh my god, what if I was a knight! Or a dinosaur? Or a giant hu—”) effectively by closing the door. 

Levi did give Armin’s questions some thought. There were indeed days wherein he felt out of place in his own skin, like he was living a life meant for someone else. There were also days when he would feel as if he was grasping at threads, trying to figure out what in his life wasn’t in place. However, the concept of reincarnation was something that seemed implausible to him especially because he didn’t believe in the divine. 

The dark-haired man closed his eyes, placing his arm on his forehead as he shifted underneath the  covers. The clock read 15:06, which meant that he had already been awake for a grand total of 23 hours. At four in the morning, he would need to take over the night shift, which Eld was currently in charge of. 

Once again, he is faced with a dilemma: (1) try to get some sleep so that he can get a bit of rest and risk giving Eld overtime, or (2) suck it up and accept the fact that this day was going to be another one of his 48-hour days.

The answer was obvious. Levi was not the type of person to let others suffer for his mistakes. So he grit his teeth, pushed himself out of bed, and headed to his bathroom to take a hot shower.

He really needs to get some rest. 

When Levi exited the bathroom thirty minutes later, dressed and ready for work, someone was knocking on his door. Levi scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. It was nearly four in the morning. With his mother in Sina for a conference and Mikasa due to wake at six in the morning, there should be no one in the house to bother him at the ungodly hour. 

He opened the door and was proven wrong when his sight was greeted by Mikasa. She had puffy eyes, tear-streaked cheeks, and shivering lips. The poor girl held her black scarf close to herself as if it would help ease whatever pain she was feeling. Levi blinked at the sight, unsure of what to say. He tried anyway. 

“What’s wrong, brat? Mosquito get stuck in your ear again?” Mikasa shook her head . Levi sighed as he noted that she didn’t give him her traditional glare. “Need to talk about it?” 

She opened her mouth and closed it again in response. She does this thrice before Levi interrupts her. 

“ Oi, fishface, is it a yes or a no?” 

Mikasa shook her head a second time. 

“Well, brat, how do you expect me to help you?” Levi pushed his door open and let his cousin in. Mikasa entered clumsily (different from her usual composed self, he noted) and sat at the edge of his bed. 

Levi glanced at his glowing clock before choosing to text Eld. He’s going to be late and Eld would have to work overtime. Levi wasn’t entirely sure if he’d make it to the cafe by four (even though it was just a five minute drive) given the status of his crying sister. 

Mikasa rarely cried, and even if she did, she wouldn’t go to him of all people. She’d most likely sneak out to go visit Eren or Armin, which is nothing the young girl hadn’t done before. So, Levi decided, just for today, he would ask Eld for this one favor in order to offer his own personal brand of comfort to his cousin and exist with her as she lamented (not like he can say much to comfort her, anyway). 

He successfully got a reply from Eld, who had agreed to cover the overtime. The assistant manager relayed a bit of concern from Petra, who mentioned that it was very “unlike boss” to show up to work late. Levi was about to send a message informing the two of his personal matters when Mikasa spoke up. 

“You don’t . . . remember anything, do you Captain?” 

“Hah?” Levi asked, half his focus on his phone as he tapped the send button. “Remember what?” 

Mikasa glared at the floor as if begging it to swallow her whole. She wiped her tears with the sleeve of her shirt, and buried half of her face behind the dark scarf she was sporting. Offhandedly, Levi wondered when was the last time she washed that thing. He should probably remind Mikasa after her breakdown. 

“Armin wasn’t lying, you know.”

Confused as ever, he raised an eyebrow. Is she going through a phase? Levi wondered, his mouth set in a grim line. “About what?”

She spoke to the floor and not really at him. “About the past. The past lives, I mean. Reincarnation, and all that.” 

If Levi had been confused before, he was even more confused now. 

“I can’t talk to you about it,” Mikasa continued, holding her arms closer to her. “No matter how much I try, the words don’t—no, won’t come out.” She let out a sigh, before looking up at Levi, who was already feeling kind of guilty as he wasn’t able to give her much help. 

“Then don’t force yourself to talk if it’s hard for you to, you can just go over it next time,” Levi offered, crossing his arms over his chest and glancing at the clock. I really am bad at this , he thought. 

 Mikasa shook her head for the third time that night. “It’s much harder than you think.” She paused and straightened up, inhaling sharply through her nose and exhaling through her mouth. “It seems it doesn’t work like that. I need to talk to Armin. Can you drive me?”

Levi had no idea what in the world it was and why it doesn’t work like that . Given the complexity of the situation—mostly due to the fact that he was complete shit at giving her help, advice, or anything she needed emotionally, really—he made no attempts to complain about her request to chauffeur her. 

The young girl asked him nicely after all . Maybe she really wasn’t feeling well. 

He nodded. “Don’t you want to get dressed first? You look like a mess.” He scrunched his nose at her scarf, “Also, when’s the last time you washed that thing? That might be really dir—” 

Levi didn’t get to finish the rest of his sentence because Mikasa had thrown the scarf straight up to his face. His eye twitched in annoyance as he plucked the scarf out of his head. He shoved it in Mikasa’s hands. She was lucky the scarf didn’t smell bad, otherwise he would’ve definitely confiscated it and thrown it in the washing machine. “Damn it, brat, learn how to wash your clothes. I’m telling mom.” 

“Blabbermouth, squealer, mama’s boy, ” Mikasa retorted, standing up. 

Levi rolled his eyes before grabbing his keys from his bedside table and turning off his lamp. Mikasa had already stepped outside, her black scarf wrapped around her neck. Levi closed his door when he exited, moving in step with the younger woman. She was already calling Armin, and Levi knew that the blond would be ready to accept company when he heard Armin’s sleepy voice respond from the other line. Levi didn’t bother listening, and instead chose to open the car door and wait inside the vehicle (a black four-seater that his invisible father had left him) as Mikasa conversed with Armin. 

She entered after about ten minutes, slamming the car door shut. Levi pulled out of their driveway smoothly. 

“Drop by the cafe if you and Armin need to eat,” Levi said shortly as Mikasa put on her seatbelt. 

“Is it on the house?” 

“Of course, I’ll dock it from your pay.”

“Some definition of ‘on the house'   you have.” 

The ride takes about twenty minutes without traffic, since Armin lived a bit further away. The two Ackermans sat without conversing, both of them listening to the soft sound of music from the radio. 

It’s Levi who broke the silence. “Oi, brat, this isn’t necessarily my business, but shouldn’t you also be calling your other snot-nosed friend?”

The reply came quicker than he had anticipated. “No.” 

She doesn’t elaborate, so Levi left it at that. Perhaps, he thought, they fought, and that's why the dark-haired woman was acting weird. Either way, he knew it was none of his business. 

They arrive at Armin’s house at about five minutes ‘till five in the morning. Mikasa opened the door, muttering a sincere “thank you” as she left. She closed the door behind her softly, enough to lock it but not loud enough to wake the neighbors. Mikasa gave her older cousin a brief wave and turned around swiftly to Armin’s doorstep before he could even nod in acknowledgement. 

At least he wasn’t the only Ackerman who was bad at showing emotions. 

Armin waves enthusiastically from the doorway, and Levi (unenthusiastically) raises his hand in reply. He then pulled back from the driveway and headed to his cafe. 

The drive towards The Underground  is short and uneventful. He had already texted Eld in advance that he would be arriving. He brought his car into the parking lot and headed to his designated parking spot, beside the PWD parking near the entrance. To his surprise, there was a car already in his spot. It was a blue pick-up truck that looked worse for wear. 

Levi’s eye twitched in mild annoyance. 

He knew he couldn’t do anything about it since there was no sign that that specific spot was for him (he really, really should do that). Since dawn was normally for students cramming their papers, all of whom didn’t need cars since the university was just walking distance from the cafe, Levi had assumed he wouldn’t need the sign anymore. Clearly, he was wrong. 

Levi sighed before deciding to park two spots beside the pick-up truck. 

Upon entering the cafe, he noticed that there were only about three customers. One was a regular: a blonde girl whose drinks were surrounded by a pile of papers. Her highlighting was careless and panicky. Beside her sat an auburn-haired girl, who was the second customer. Compared to the blonde, she was already lost in sleep.  

The third customer was someone he never really encountered in his shop before. From where he entered, Levi could see that she was wearing a thick pair of glasses, and that her hands were shoved in a tan coat. She was incredibly tall, and sported dark boots and leggings. The woman was currently standing in front of the counter, her eyes focused on the menu splayed out on the bright screens above the coffee machines. 

Levi passed her without giving it much thought, swiftly entering the staff room. Eld grinned at him when he entered, removing his apron and placing it on the rack. “Good morning boss,” he greeted, as Levi grabbed his own apron and swung it over his head. 

“There’s a customer outside,” Levi said nonchalantly. 

Eld nodded in recognition. “Yeah, she comes here every three a.m. on the dot. Leaves before you arrive, so I understand why you’re not familiar with her. Don’t worry though, she looks like she’s thinking now, but she’s going to order the same thing. Make sure to get her a large, sweet cream cold brew nitro.” 

Levi nodded as Eld checked out, bidding him goodbye. Levi dumped his car keys in his locker before he heard the bell ring from outside. That tall girl was probably ready to order her americano. 

He exited the door, standing in front of her and checking to see if Eld properly set the cashier for his shift. Levi nodded to himself in approval, as Eld had done his job spectacularly (as always). In about an hour, Jean Kirchstein and Marco Bott would be taking over the cashier while he cleaned the store. He barely glanced at the customer as he mechanically tapped his fingers rhythmically on the register, letting out the practiced “May I take your order?” 

“Good morning! Could I please have a large sweet cream cold brew nitro? To-go, please!” 

Something about her voice made Levi’s blood run cold. He raised his head to look at her. She was smiling at him, her eyes shining with excitement. Her bangs are parted in the middle of her forehead and the rest of her hair is tied in a lazy half-bun. By the greasy state of her auburn hair, it looked like she hadn’t bothered bathing. 

For a reason Levi couldn’t explain (he would later argue that it was because he was so surprised to see that someone could live their life while having hair so dirty ), his body grew stiff as he stared at her, transfixed. 

The girl tilted her head to the side in confusion. “Is something wrong?” she asked, looking at him. “Is my order not available? That’s okay, you know, I can just order something else—” 

Levi interrupted her tirade as he regained control over his body once again, swallowing the odd feeling gnawing at his gut. “Name?” he managed to choke out, trying his best to appear calm. For some strange reason, his heart decided that now was the time for palpitations. 

“Oh!” the girl said in surprise, “right, I haven’t seen you here at this hour before! Just put in Hange!”

His hands moved automatically to input her order. There really is something so . . . familiar about her, but Levi just couldn’t seem to put his finger on it. It reminded him of when he had first met Erwin. He felt like he had seen her from a dream long forgotten in the recesses of his mind, begging to be released and remembered. 

There’s just one problem: he knows he’s never seen this girl in his life before. After all, someone who never washed their hair would make a very distinct impression on him. 

“That’ll be four dollars,” Levi said through grit teeth, annoyed at himself for failing to maintain his own composure. Hange nodded fervently as she placed her five dollar bill on the counter. 

“Keep the change!” she declared enthusiastically, before peering at him in concern. “You’re okay, right?” Hange asked. “Sorry, early mornings really aren’t for everyone, huh?”

He remained silent, placing the bill inside the cash register and shutting it close. Levi didn’t bother answering her question as he allowed his mind to get lost in thought. He continued the patterns of service he had long since memorized, his body on autopilot. 

Levi was always in control of his mind, his body, his spirit . . . so why?  There were a million questions racing through his head. ‘ Who the fuck is this girl? Damn, my heart feels like it’s going to pop out of my chest. This isn’t normal.’ 

He stole a glance at her lanky form, hoping that she wasn’t at the counter anymore and had taken a seat somewhere in the cafe. To his disappointment, she was still standing there, watching him make the drink. When she saw him look at her, she gave him a tiny wave. 

Levi felt his eye twitch in annoyance. She didn’t look particularly special, but she entered (no, infiltrated) his cafe with bright eyes and all smiles, making him feel things that he never even felt before. 

Which was, in his opinion, completely unacceptable. Levi Ackerman hated feeling out of control. 

He poured the drink into a tall cup expertly before placing it on top of the counter. “Hange,” he called, her name escaping his lips smoothly, as if he had said the syllables a million times before. 

Levi frowned, sensing the beginnings of a migraine in the middle of his eyebrows, so he pinches the area gently, as if the action could relieve some of the pain. 

Hange walked over to the counter, looking a bit concerned. “Hey, Levi,” she started, and the man visibly flinched. Why did the sound of his name from her voice trigger a barrage of emotions he’s never even bothered to feel before?

Levi dug his nails into the palms of his hands. He was almost about to ask ‘how the fuck do you know me’ and ‘do I fucking know you’ before the rational part of his brain interjected that she had probably seen his name tag. 

His silence gave Hange permission to speak again, so she continued. “Do you have a headache?” Without waiting for him to respond, she smiled. “I got just the thing! I’ll leave you this gift as my thanks for your service!” And with those words, she placed a painkiller on the counter as she gently took her drink. “Take it so you can have a good morning, okay? 

Levi watched her actions cautiously. 

She winked. “Oh, and don’t take it with tea.”  

Levi’s eyes narrowed in suspicion at this point. The words Do I know you? burst in his mind and died at the edges of his lips. Instead, he muttered a clipped “thank you” to her small token of appreciation. 

She grinned. “Take care, Levi!” 

And with those words, she left, leaving Levi to wonder out loud, “what the fuck just happened?” 

The body remembers what the mind has forgotten.  

[cockasinthebird]

I dreamt last night that Billy and Steve were both hospitalized after the event at Starcourt

Steve in Urgent Care, being watched closely by the government to ensure that the Russians hasn't fitted him with any odd devices like maybe a tracker or some kind of mind control chip, and of course to ensure that whatever drug he was on earlier doesn't have any serious side effects, but he's fine, really, and this is all too annoying to deal with, he just wants five minutes alone

Billy is in the ICU, barely alive, rarely awake, drifting in and out of consciousness, doctors and machines everywhere, some people in lab coats followed closely by big guards. It would be so easy for this to be the end of him; he could just give up now and drift away, finally a way out that isn't really his fault in the end, so maybe he can go out like a hero, being remembered for having saved El and Max and everyone else in the world practically

But then he sees Steve, dressed in his own hospital gown, hair a limp mess, face bloodied, but... smiling. Billy can't talk, can't smile, for he's got a tube going down his throat, hair shaved off and an ugly scar where the scientists and doctors got a good look at his brain to see the after effects of having been “mind flayed”, whatever the fuck that means, and his entire body aches near constantly - the morphine doing a shit job

Steve mumbles something about just wanting to see how he’s doing, talks about himself too, how he’s fine and just wants to go home, but they’re keeping him here because it’s easier to keep an eye on him that way, and Steve might not be as dumb as Billy thought once

And Steve sits down on a chair he’s pulled up next to Billy’s bed, and turns on the tv

They watch Jeopardy together, at 3am, Steve getting almost all the answers wrong as he guesses along, and Billy wants to laugh, but doesn’t feel like he’s physically capable of even that

The next day Steve shows up again three times; breakfast, lunch, dinner. Sometimes he talks, sometimes he just eats in silence, but Billy doesn’t really care either way, he’s just happy he’s not alone

Steve mentions that Max really wants to visit, but she’s not allowed to, some big brutes in suits stand guard and keeps everyone away. Neither of them really know why they allow Steve to visit, but they’re not going to complain about it

Sometimes Steve shows up at night, turns on the tv and leans against Billy’s bed. He looks exhausted, bags heavy under his eyes, no glow to his usually somewhat cheery expressions, and Billy wants to ask what’s wrong, but the tube remains in the way, and neither of them talk 

Eventually Steve falls asleep, head on his arms that rest crossed near Billy’s legs. And he doesn’t wake up till a nurse at 5am asks him kindly to go back to his own room and get some rest there

After about two weeks, give or take, Billy can’t tell time anymore, Steve shows up in a set of fresh clothes that Dustin and his mom brought, because he’s being discharged from the Hospital, and promises to come visit as often as he can, but he’s not allowed to drive yet after… everything that has happened, but he will be back

And he visits several times a week at first, Billy never doubted it, but as Steve returns to the real world out there, he shows up less and less. Every time he does visit he apologises profusely, and talks about his “normal life” and how everything is - how everyone is doing, and he asks Billy how he’s doing, but all he can do is nod

Not that he’d tell the truth if he could

The day comes when Billy finally gets the tube removed, and although he hasn’t spoken in nearly two months, hoarsely he asks for them to call for Steve and have him come visit

And Steve smiles big when he sees Billy doing the same, which is an odd experience for the both of them, because whatever hatred they had for each other got knocked down a notch when Billy sacrificed himself, and through the last month or so it has almost grown to friendship

After that Steve visits far more regularly, always with food that definitely isn’t a part of a healthy diet, but it tastes fucking amazing compared to the hospital food

They talk and talk and laugh, watch tv, read magazines, eat. Steve tried to get Billy to play some board games with him but hell no he’s not doing that. It all almost feels normal

What could have been- what should have been

When Billy starts physical therapy, he feels his self hatred amp it up by a thousand, because he used to be strong, be the fucking King around Hawkins, but months of being hospitalised and sewn together and only getting up to shower has made him nearly dwindle away

His tan has started to fade, muscles weak and useless, everything just feels sore constantly, and most movement of the legs feel dull and weirdly impossible, and as he has thought so many times during this process, he should have just died. They should have let him

But… Steve’s there, here, always present, shows up for every session he has with the physical therapist without fail. And Steve’s no less stronger than he was before all of this happened; he supports all of Billy without as much as a trembling muscle, and Billy hates him for it, yet he also… loves him for it, and perhaps that’s scarier than anything else that has happened this year

Or ever

Steve’s present too on the days Billy sees a psychiatrist, not that he wants to see one because he’s not insane or mentally disturbed or- he just doesn’t need help, doesn’t want help really, doesn’t want to be seen as weak, or weaker than he obviously is

But Steve explains that he’s seeing a shrink, too, and shares without restraint his own meetings, as they sit and eat junk food on Billy’s bed after his latest appointment, and honestly Billy doesn’t feel as pathetic or weak when Steve talks about going through the same thing, kinda

Time passes, Steve visits near daily, which is weird because doesn’t he have a job at the video store now? He sometimes talks about that girl Robin, but even half a year later nothing has happened between them, and Billy is oddly relieved at that

He’s come to terms with his unrequited feelings for Steve, feelings that he now knows he’s had from the moment he saw him in that parking lot, what feels like ten years ago now. All that anger came from wanting what he couldn’t have, and now it has simmered down to sadness, depressed to know that one day Steve will find a lucky girl and then Billy will become a second choice, or probably a third if he has to fight Robin for Steve’s attention, too… maybe fourth, what with Dustin and the gang

And he truly believes he can live with that, even if it does make him want to cry, which he rarely did before, but everything has changed now

He’s changed

For the better or worse, he can't quite tell, but now he can make Steve smile and laugh, so he can convince himself it's all for the better

Eventually, after almost a year in therapy and being basically a test subject, he's released on two conditions 

1, he has to stay in Hawkins, no leaving it unless escorted by assigned guards

2, he has to "voluntarily" show up two times a week for tests and check ups

And there's a moment where he doesn't want to leave

Not because of those two conditions, because that'd be better than being hospitalised for the rest of your life, right? 

But because he's not sure where his life is going, where his place is in this world anymore 

Neil won't take him back, but even if that was an actual option, he'd have chosen the uncomfortable hospital bed instead 

He can't go back to school, or rather he's not allowed to, and he can't go back to being a lifeguard, not with all these scars and a general inability to fucking swim

At least here at the hospital he's got some semblance of purpose in life, although it isn't much of a way to live

When he mentions it to Steve he's depressed, downtrodden, completely and utterly destroyed, because there's no place for him anymore anywhere, he'll forever be caught in the limbo of Hawkins

But Steve- he… He places his hand on top of Billy's, warm and soft and grounding, and as he smiles so softly, so lovingly, he says "There's a place for you in my life" 

And suddenly nothing else matters than that, than there, here, in Steve's life

In Steve's hand

[carelessannie]

maybe it goes like this: steve builds his pack (part 1)

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

Read on A03

Read the Tony courts Peter wip

Stucky focus (Steve x Bucky)

A sweet, slightly angsty backstory in three parts (ending in Stuckony).

Major warnings: D/S Au, A/B/O Au, Middle/High School Au, talk about family death, public non-sexual submission, steve beats the shit out of some bullies

---

Maybe it goes like this:

Steve can’t remember life with a pack, but knows for certain that his Ma grieves for them. Ever since he was a boy, he would catch his Ma staring at fading photos of strangers, wiping tears from her eyes, and denying it when Steve would ask why do they make you cry.

It’s not until later in his life that Steve learns the truth about pack bonds, about the decision an Alpha makes in life to form a familial or an intimate bond with their packmates. His Ma refuses to let him learn about packs from school, instead sitting him down across the table, like an adult, Steven, and he learns about orientations and secondary genders when he’s nine years old.

His Ma explains the way kids will turn into adults: first establishing their orientation as Dominant, Submissive, or Versatile, and later in high school, presenting as Alpha, Beta or Omega. She threads their fingers together, and asks Steve if he can notice what she is, and he concentrates real hard, trying to decide, as his Ma laughs.

It’s okay, Steven, you won’t be able to tell what other people are until your own body has developed.

Steve nods, pretending like he understands, and asks his mom about her presentation. She gives him a sad— sad? — smile, and says she’s a Submissive Beta.

It’s silent as Steve puts those two things together with the strong, beautiful woman he admires as his Ma, and is still confused. He asks about packs, and Alphas, and what intimate and familial packs are— gaining an amused shake of the head from his Ma.

Why don’t I just tell you about my pack, yes?

Steve nods eagerly, desperate to hear the story of a family he never had,

My pack was intimate, Steven, which means we all loved each other very much and decided to live together. I met my— our Alpha when I was in nursing school, before you were born. She was already mated to two Omegas, and they had been searching for a Beta to join their pack. We fell in love. I met her Omegas, and all four of us were very compatible— do you remember what that means, hun?

Mhm, like when you know you belong with someone even more than anyone else.

Right, good, so we all belonged to each other, understand? We lived in our Alpha’s house, and all of us worked jobs in the city. About a year after joining her pack, I met your Pa. He transferred to the hospital I worked at, and he was also a Beta, like me, but he was Dominant. I introduced him to my pack, and they loved him too. Within a year, we were mated and I had you. Makes sense, Steven?

Yes, Ma. But… What happened to them?

At this, his Ma goes silent, breathing deeply before finishing the story for her son.

Do you remember the difference between packmates and bondmates, Steven?

Um. One is forever, right?

Yes, good, if you are in love or committed to a pack, they are your packmates, whether you are intimate or not. But sometimes, two people, or a whole pack, want to make their relationship last forever, and they become bondmates. All people have the private part of their necks, remember? You have to know, sweetheart, the only way to start a bond is to bite each other there while mating. We’ll wait to talk about mating until you’re in middle school, okay hun?

Yes, Ma.

Good boy. Now. The other important thing about bonding is that it ties your soul to another person’s forever. Any person of any orientation can bond with whoever they’d like, as long as they’re compatible. But you have to know, and this is so important, that once you bond, your souls become one. My whole pack was bonded, but… Daisy… hun, our Alpha died of cancer. She got very sick, and died. And when one bondmate dies, everyone who shares the bond gets sick and dies too.

… Ma, but. Why didn’t you die?

I decided, once I got pregnant with you, that I didn’t want to risk bonding to my pack. Your father and I loved each other so much, and you were the symbol of our love, not a bite. And I’m thankful, sweetheart, because I get to be your Ma and watch you grow up.

Do you miss them, Ma?

Every day, Steven.

Steve doesn’t remember his Ma mentioning her pack again after that day, but he did start to notice that she would get sad a few times a year, around forgotten birthdays and anniversaries. She would spend all of her days working hard to provide for the two of them, and always made sure Steve knew he was loved and valued, even when she denied herself the opportunities to find a new pack.

Looking back, Steve can see that they didn’t have a lot of luxuries or comforts, and definitely didn’t live in the best part of town. He had a few friends in Bushwick, growing up in the nineties it was a poor place to live, but they were perfectly happy to play in the streets during the day, and lock their doors tight at night.

As he ties up his laces, he thinks about his small family and is immeasurably happy. There’s no one he loves more in the world than his Ma. He hates the thought of getting on the bus and driving far away to switch middle schools, but his Ma reassures him that he will love meeting new kids and making new friends.

So he grabs his backpack, tightening the knots holding the straps in place, and hops down the stairs, only sparing one look to his Ma on the front step.

It’s a long bus ride to the school, more than thirty minutes. Over the summer, his Ma found out that the school system wanted him to transfer to a better school because of budget... something and overcrowding—? He’s actually not quite sure why he can’t go back to his old school, but his Ma made it seem like William Alexander Middle School thinks he’s special and has asked for him specifically. So yeah, Steve is really excited.

He’s going into Seventh grade, and gets his own locker, and gets to go to art class.

Steve spends the whole bus ride reviewing the schedule he already has memorized, and comparing it with the school map that his Ma printed for him, tracing his finger around from class to class. Bus to Nurse to Homeroom to Algebra to English to Nurse to Lunch to Gym to Art to Nurse to Bus.

The day passes this way, Steve confidently following his map around the school and taking notes in his small notebook. It’s not until Gym that he gets nervous, remembering his last asthma attack, and hopes the nurse told his gym teacher about his restrictions as he files into the gym and takes a seat on the floor.

“Steve Rogers?”

“Here.”

“No, Steve, I need to talk to you,” Steve looks up and sees his gym teacher, a really large man with a beard, waving him to the front of the class. The other kids turn to whisper to each other as Steve walks forward.

“I— did—”

“Steve, I have a note here from the nurse, saying you cannot participate in most exercises because of your health issues. Because of this, I’m going to suggest you join the sixth grade class, which will go at a better pace for you, and let Mr. Howlett help you further, okay?”

He feels his entire face flush dark red as the other students behind him whisper and laugh. He’s a seventh grader, not a baby sixth grader. He holds eye contact with the gym teacher, folding his arms across his chest, but still grinds out a, “Yes, Sir,” like his Ma would want him to.

“Good, it’s settled. Here, Mr. Howlett has sent James to show you where to go.”

Steve turns to find a small, smiling boy waiting for him at... parade rest? What—

“Alright Stevie, let’s go,” and the boy turns on his heel, marching across the gym as Steve scrambles to keep up.

James slows down slightly, letting Steve catch him, “First things first, my name is James Buchanan Barnes, but most people call me Jamie. I hate it, but it’s better than nothin',” he looks over at Steve, eyeing him up and down, “Second, Mr. Howlett is friends with my dad. You stick with me, and this class will be a breeze, capiche?”

Steve swears his eyes are falling out of his head, and he nods his affirmation.

“Good,” is all Jamie responds with before grabbing his hand, tugging him to join a younger, smaller group of kids in the gym. As they approach, Jamie lifts their hands in triumph, “I found him!”

Feeling betrayed, Steve rips his hand free in embarrassment, but Jamie just smiles wider and pulls him towards their gym teacher, Mr. Howlett.

How this man could be bigger and scarier than the last teacher, Steve doesn’t know, but refuses to hide behind Jamie as they approach, and instead stands up even taller. Mr. Howlett makes a grunting noise, flipping through a few papers on his clipboard, before looking up at the two boys.

“Rogers?”

Before he can respond, Jamie pipes up, “Yeah! Here’s his note from the nurse, and he’s my friend and— and can I help him out? Please?”

It’s pretty clear that Mr. Howlett couldn’t care less either way, but all Steve can see is the raw, eager look in Jamie’s face as he begs their teacher to help Steve.

Huh, he thinks, the only other time I've seen this look is when Ma begs the pharmacist to refill my inhaler prescription when her paycheck's late.

“Whatever, Jamie, just keep outta trouble, ya hear?”

“Yes, sir!” Jamie delivers, with a crisp solute to match, and pulls Steve towards the back of the class.

They settle down, and Jamie keeps holding onto his hand. Steve glances over and sees Jamie quickly look away, suddenly shy.

“Jamie?”

The smaller boy looks over, hopefully, “Yeah, Stevie?”

“Thank you, I didn’t think I’d get a friend on my first day, much less the best one in the school.”

Jamie ducks his head again before turning his brilliant smile in Steve’s direction, and Steve continues before he has a chance to respond, “and Jamie?”

“Yeah, Stevie?”

“I swear, cross my heart, that I’ll find you a better nickname.”

Jamie’s eyes widen, and then he’s laughing, loud and doubled over. He grips harder onto Steve, who can’t help laughing along, even as they get funny looks from the class and a gruff, c’mon, quiet down, from Mr. Howlett.

Shaking his head, Jamie tries to catch his breath as he responds, “ I— I think— I’d love that— Stevie.”

And all Steve can do is smile back.

---

It takes a week for Steve to settle on Bucky, and when Bucky says he loves it, Steve runs all the way home to tell his Ma.

---

Steve and Bucky have Gym class and Lunch together almost every day for a year, and spend the whole summer waiting for their schedules to be mailed, hoping for at least two classes together.

They get their wish.

---

Halfway through eighth grade, Steve gets sent home with a stamped letter from his guidance counselor. For the past few weeks, the guidance counselor has asked him and Bucky to have lunch in her office, and the boys always shrug and agree. Today, after finishing lunch, she hands both boys an official letter for their guardians to discuss with them.

“Whaddaya think’s in it, Stevie?” Bucky asks, squinting at the letter as he holds it up to the light. The boys are heading straight from lunch to the nurse’s office to get Steve’s medicine, like they do every day, and Bucky grips tight to his hand, intertwining their fingers, like he does every day.

“I dunno, Buck. Maybe she’s gonna tell your Ma that you smell and needa bath,” the comment earns Steve a light shove, and an affectionate, “Punk,” in response.

“Jerk,” Steve replies, a reflex, and reaches out to pull Bucky closer, “I wouldn’t worry ‘bout it, Buck. She’s been real nice up ‘til now—”

“Yeah, I know, I just don’t wanna bother my dad if it’s somethin’ bad.”

They fall silent for a moment, both boys knowing how busy and strict Bucky’s dad can be. Steve sees Bucky’s head drop, lost, as he looks at the letter in his small hands. He slows them to a stop, turns Bucky around to face him in the school hallway, and hums in approval as Bucky meets his eyes and slowly tilts his head back. He grabs onto both shoulders, squeezing lightly, and pulls Bucky up close. Fingers tighten in the back of Steve’s shirt as Bucky clings to him, and he nuzzles into his best friend's hair, comforting, while rubbing across his shoulders.

“So sweet, Bucky. There’s no way your dad could be mad at you, alright? Believe me?”

He gazes down into soft, glazed gray eyes, and freezes. Bucky is slightly trembling against him, looking at him like he’s a revelation. Steve feels a calm settle into his bones as he reacts purely on instinct, reaching up to grip Bucky around the neck.

A few things happen in quick succession.

First, Bucky’s eyes roll up into his head, breath leaving his body in a woosh along with a high pitched whimper.

Second, Steve widens his stance, straightening his back, and Bucky sinks, fast, to his knees, gripping onto Steve’s thighs for balance.

And then, out of the haze—

“STEVE ROGERS, YOU RELEASE THAT BOY IMMEDIATELY,” and the trance is broken.

Steve is horrified to see Bucky curled up on the floor, and he stumbles back. Large arms wrap around him, herding him away from—

“STEVIE, no, please—” the voice of his best friend, his Bucky, follows him down the hallway along with small broken cries, and Steve fights hard against the strong arms that hold him,

“C’mon, kid, it’s okay. Just gonna call your Ma and getcha settled,” but Steve doesn’t care.

His boy is back there, somewhere, calling for him, needing him, and he can’t get back, he can’t protect, he can’t save, he can’t— breathe.

---

It’s okay, hun. Shh, sweet boy, it’s okay.

— Sarah, he had Jamie on his knees, submitting—

— no, I don’t think Jamie has stopped crying yet—

— only a few more months, it’ll be fine—

---

Steve wakes in his bed at home, confused.

“B— bucky?”

“Hey, sweetheart,” his Ma pushes past the door, “you up alright?”

He blinks his eyes a few times, disoriented, “Where… what—”

“Shh, hun,” she holds out a glass of water, which Steve takes gratefully,

“Ma, where’s Bucky?”

His Ma looks nervous, and straightens the sheets on the bed, “Steven, Bucky is just fine. How much do you remember about what happened?”

The memories are sticky, “I was just hugging Bucky. He was scared that his dad would be angry about the— oh! The letter from the counselor. Ma, I have an important letter for you. Officially stamped and everything,” his Ma just nods, so he continues, “I dunno, I was hugging Bucky in the hallway, and then something was… different. Like really heavy between us? And all I wanted was to keep him safe, but then… Then they took him, and—”

Steve looks into his Ma’s eyes, suddenly horrified, “I hurt him, didn’t I?”

He must’ve, that would be the only reason they knocked him out and separated him from his— from his—

“No, Steven, not like that. You absolutely did not hurt him,” then what... “You were the perfect Dominant, hun, and it’s not your fault, okay sweetheart?”

“Dominant? Ma…”

“Hush, Steven. I’m going to tell you something important, and you’re going to listen to me,” he nods once, so she continues, “the letter from your counselor was very important, Steven. Remember how boys and girls start to present around your age? Your guidance counselor has been monitoring signs of presentation between you and Bucky, signs that were confirmed today in the hallway. Steven, today you presented as a Dominant, and Bucky submitted to you. Do you know what this means?”

“T— that we’re… compatible?”

His Ma nods solemnly, “Yes, exactly. The doctors are not sure yet if Bucky is Submissive or Versatile, but you are a strong Dominant. My strong boy.”

“But Ma, why was it so bad?”

She sits on the edge of the bed, scooting so that she can pull Steve closer,

“Because, hun, both of you dropped.”

“Dropped...”

Ma hums, finding the words to explain,

“A lot of times, when a Dominant and Submissive are together, they go into a headspace. It’s calm, it feels right and certain and instinctual. Usually a Dominant will take more control, and the Submissive will allow it, naturally. If this doesn’t happen in a safe, private space, or if it’s interrupted, both parties are at risk of dropping. That means you could feel sick, lost, and upset— and even panic or become depressed,”

Exactly like what happened to me, Steve thinks,

“— and with you and Bucky, you both passed out from the stress. That’s why I need to know if you’re okay, Steven,”

It makes sense. Now that Steve knows what to look for, he can easily recognize not only moments where Bucky has submitted easily to him, but also moments where Bucky challenged him and he ended up claiming Bucky’s submission in an argument. His best friend, the boy who fights for him and is always at his side— it’s overwhelming. All Steve wants to know is—

“Ma, please, what happened to my Bucky?”

“Steven, don’t—“

“I need to know—“

“He’s still in a drop, hun.”

Steve swings out of the bed, “How? It’s been hours,” he hears his Ma stutter out something, but feels a resolve settle, “I’ve gotta be with him, Ma.”

“No.”

“But—“

“I said no. His pack is sending me updates, but was very clear that they want you to stay away from Bucky for now. He needs time to recover and understand what’s happened, as do you. And, as your principal recommended, both of you are switching lunch periods and transferring classes, to help reduce the stress of being around each other, is that clear?”

Not even sure he’s heard right past stay away from Bucky, Steve drops back into bed in shock. No more Bucky? He can’t even comprehend what his day would look like without his best friend next to him, and just like that, he’s destroyed one of most important relationships in his life.

Hot, wet tears fall through the night as he wraps around his sheets, wishing he was holding onto a smaller, dark haired boy with crystal blue eyes.

—

There are only two months left until summer, and they feel like two years without Bucky.

Steve cries himself to sleep for the first week.

In the second week, he tries talking to the adults in charge, all of whom give him pity and suggest he’ll get over it and move on.

By the third week, Steve is angry. He snarls at classmates, teachers, anyone who looks at him the wrong way. He gets sent home with a note about his behavior, and his Ma just gives him more useless pity.

During the fourth week, he’s walking the hall to his last period of the day, when he hears a plea for help and the slamming of a door echo from the boy’s bathroom. He runs inside, ready to take down a bully, and sees two eighth graders pinning someone to the bathroom stall. He steps in just as they punch the boy across the jaw,

“Hey assholes, why don’tcha pick on someone your own size?”

The boys whirl around and sneer, dropping the smaller kid in a heap on the ground.

“Look what we have here, a pint sized savior,” the larger of the two smiles wickedly, as he sizes up Steve, and the other one delivers a kick to their initial target for good measure, “Wonder where you got the balls, tiny?”

Steve throws his fists up, and the boys smile even wider, amused. The larger bully lunges for him, suddenly, and Steve absorbs his tackle, trying to roll them around on the floor to get on top. He delivers a well aimed elbow to the guy’s throat, which has him sputtering, and drives his knee down between the kid’s legs, earning him a satisfying howl.

“Yo, kid, it’s okay, c'mon it was just a joke—“

The other boy’s words barely register as Steve lands one, two, three hard right hooks to the bully’s face, before pushing off his chest and standing to his feet. The second kid scoots past Steve, hauling his friend up and escaping out the entrance.

“St— Stevie?”

All of the rage expels from Steve’s body as he turns to find Bucky smiling up at him from the floor where the bullies had dropped him just moments earlier.

He approaches slowly, and notices just how bruised Bucky is, just how tired he looks. Steve catalogs the blood on his face, dark circles under his eyes, possibly dislocated shoulder, and gaunt expression with care, touching as little as possible.

“We should— we should go to the nurse, Buck. It doesn’t look good.”

Bucky nods and attempts to get to his feet, but lets out a weak groan and sinks back down to the floor.

“C’mon, jerk,” Steve teases, trying his best to hide concern and devastation, pulling Bucky back to his feet on his good side, “do I hafta carry ya the whole way?”

There’s a weak laugh that could also be a sob from Bucky, and Steve tries to take more of his weight as they limp towards the nurse’s office.

He feels hopeful after hearing a barely whispered, “Punk,” in return.

---

The nurse lets the two boys cling to each other on the small cot, and proceeds to call both of their packs, asking for both kids to go home early for the day.

Steve glares at the nurse the whole time, knowing that he only has a few precious moments with his best friend before they’re separated again.

“Bucky?”

“Yeah, Stevie?” the younger boy looks up adoringly, “you okay?”

“I’m fine, Buck, how— are you okay?” He does his best to hold back tears that are welling up in his eyes, and enjoys the solid feeling of Bucky, safe and warm in his arms.

Small fingers run over his cheeks, wiping away a few stray tears that had slipped free, and Bucky’s smile just grows, “So much better now, that’s for sure.” He wiggles a bit, and Steve laughs lightly, gripping his friend’s waist tighter.

He leans down, brushing his nose against the shell of Bucky’s ear, and whispers, “Nothing has been the same without you, Bucky.”

A shiver goes through Bucky’s body, Steve feels it by proximity, and Bucky remains silent, until Steve hears one hitched breath, then another. He pulls away slightly, looking into Bucky’s face as the smaller boy dissolves into tears. Bucky pulls himself closer, burying his face in Steve’s neck as great, giant sobs tear him apart. All Steve can do is shush him gently, kiss him on the head, and rock them back and forth, waiting for his Bucky to calm down as the minutes pass in silence.

“I can’t say I’m surprised,”

Steve looks up, turning his body to guard Bucky’s vulnerable one, and sees Bucky’s Beta father and Omega mother standing in the doorway, expressions both shocked and resolved.

“Steve, can you tell us what happened?”

It takes a few minutes for Steve to explain how he saved Bucky, and when he finishes, he watches the Beta and Omega exchange a knowing look, before they take a seat near the nurse’s cot. Neither move to take Bucky away, which is perfectly fine with Steve, who just holds his friend closer. A quick glance gown confirms Bucky has stopped crying and fallen asleep, sniffling lightly.

“We need to talk to you, Steve,” he hears Bucky’s dad call for him, and reluctantly looks up at both of them, noticing the guidance counselor also waiting in the doorway. He nods to allow them to continue,

“I’m afraid we haven’t handled this situation well, son,” Bucky’s dad continues, “and it seems to have hurt both of you boys. I’m sorry, and want you to know we only wanted the best for Jamie.”

“I get it, sir,” Steve shifts slightly, uncomfortable with the sudden attention. “Does this mean I can see Bucky again?”

The Beta leans forward on his seat, making sure to focus on the younger boys, “Yes, Steve, we want you and Jamie to keep being friends, at least until you go to high school next year.”

He can’t even help the relieved sigh and small smile that take over his face, letting his eyes fall shut as he relaxes back onto the bed. Good. He doesn’t even spare a thought for their friendship after middle school, completely convinced that in this moment, him and Bucky will be together, forever.

---

Steve and Bucky fall back into their old routine, classes and lunchtime back to normal, and the news of Steve’s fight spreads like wildfire throughout the school. Both boys find themselves surrounded by new friends, many of whom knew Bucky but hadn’t hung out with Steve before, and he enjoys watching his best friend thrive in newfound popularity.

As summer approaches, Bucky starts talking more about going out for football in eighth grade. Steve always knew he loved sports, and had often encouraged Buck to keep playing baseball when the younger boy would get frustrated, so he naturally pushes his friends to try out. What he isn’t prepared for is how little he sees of Bucky over the summer. He barely notices at first, still seeing Bucky a few days a week, but then he starts to get rain checks on his invitations.

“Sorry, Stevie, rain check— I’m doing drills with the guys all day,”

“Aw man, rain check? I’m at conditioning every day this week and literally can’t get free,”

“Maybe rain check for this weekend? The guys are running plays all day, and I just gotta be there,”

“— you understand, right Stevie?”

And Steve does understand. He decides to give Bucky a little more space, only asking to hang out once a week, if that, and focuses on preparing for high school. He spends more time with his Ma, and she helps him pick out a brand new backpack from Walmart. When he protests, saying his old backpack is just fine, she shakes her head and insists on buying a product that will last. He fills it with notebooks and new pencils and pens and even a pack of colored pencils with a shiny dual sharpener.

It’s a few weeks before school starts that his Ma receives a letter from the school system. He’s decorating the cover of his notebook, laying across their living room floor, when his Ma comes and sits next to him on the floor.

“Steven, I have something to tell you.”

“Okay, Ma, one sec,” he takes a few moments to gather his pencil shavings, packing up his colored pencils, putting them in the correct order, and closing his notebook, stacking everything neatly on top.

“What’s wrong, Ma?”

“Remember when you went into middle school, and the government had to move you to William Alexander because the school closest to us was overcrowded?” Steve nods, he does remember, “Well, they don’t have the same issue with the high school here. So you’re going to be going Bushwick High, which is just a couple blocks away from us.”

“Oh, I thought I was gonna be going to school in Park Slope again, near Bucky?”

“I know, Steven,” his Ma gives a small pat to his head, before standing up and heading for the kitchen, “why don’t we have a snack and talk about it more? They sent a list of classes, and you get to choose electives and everything.”

Steve tries calling Bucky that night, eager to tell him about his news, but just gets the answering machine. He tries two more times that week, and comes up blank.

Within a few weeks, Steve is walking into Brooklyn High, confident and proud, and barely spares a thought about missing his best friend at his side.

[elefics]

torment / chapter 1

First chapter for torment! Basically setting up Lyla’s character and background, and how she ended up at the Academy. The juicy stuff is coming soon hehe 

As long as I can remember, as a kid, I felt like I didn't belong. I didn't fit in, and always felt just slightly out of place. Like, don't get me wrong, I could probably have led a normal, relatively happy life outside of the coven. But I would never have found my place.

One of my earliest memories is levitating during recess in third grade.

I was playing hide and seek with my best friends – but everyone is your best friend at that age, or so I thought. It was one of those moments...when you're hiding in a dark corner of the playground, breathing hard from the adrenaline coursing through your tiny body at the thought of being found, smelling bark and sweat and salami sandwiches, where time and space doesn't exist. You're so focused on hiding, on making yourself invisible and winning the game, that you forget who and where you are. I forgot. And I paid the price.

When I finally opened my eyes, I wasn't in a dark corner of the playground. I was floating seven feet in the air, and below me were the horrified expressions of my friends and teachers. Frozen in time. That moment is frozen in my memory forever. It was the first time that I realised I wasn't just weird, but special. There were powers inside me that other people, and even myself, didn't understand yet.

My teachers, missing a handbook on protocol for dealing with young witches coming into their powers, did the only thing they knew to do - sent me to the office. The other kids were still shaking like leaves, hiding behind our teachers' legs like toddlers.

My mother picked me up an hour later. I ignored the concerned glares of the office ladies. Mom and I got McDonald's, like we always did when I had a doctor's appointment or a day off. At the time, it felt completely natural. I thought she just 'got it', like floating in mid-air was a regular Tuesday occurrence. In hindsight, I remember her staring at me with a mix of fear and awe through the rear-view mirror. She was shitting herself, and didn't know what to do next.

She sent me back to school the next day, which was the worst possible option.

The other kids had grown braver and meaner overnight. I was their new favourite toy and punching bag. They called me a witch, and I took it as an insult. (If only I knew!) They called me evil, ugly, dirty. They said I'd grow fat moles and that my skin would turn green. They told me to stay away from them. So I did.

Within a month, I didn't have a single friend. They were repulsed and terrified of me, but loved to poke fun from a distance. All I wanted to do was play handball or tag.

"Lyla. Enough is enough." Mom said one night over dinner.

I was playing with the food on my plate, but not with a fork. I made them spin and dance, like a potato and broccoli ballet. My face fell, and so did my dinner, collapsing sadly onto the ceramic. Gravy splattered onto my thumb.

I apologised. I learned to push my powers deep down inside of me. Whenever I felt like they'd spill out, I pinched the skin near my knee. It kept me grounded and in control.

In tenth grade, I pinched myself so hard I bruised. It still wasn't enough.

I'd kept to myself and stayed out of everybody's way, from my mother to my teachers. I was the quiet polite girl who sat in the back of class and got her homework in on time. I minded my own fucking business. That was, until Mrs Brooks called me a freak in front of our entire geography class.

Mrs Brooks ended up with a broken arm and I ended up in the principal's office. I hadn't actually touched her at all, and I guess that was what scared my teachers. I hadn't been called into an office since third grade. Mom was already there, sitting in one of the black fold-out chairs, with her keys in her hand and glassy eyes. She held a few sheets of paper in her hands. Signing me out, surely. We'd be at the drive-thru in twenty minutes.

Mr Petersen, our grey-haired principal with a passion for 'fun' ties, sat beside my mother, with his hands neatly in his lap. He had been whispering softly to Mom, but stopped as soon as I approached. He looked at me with sad, brown eyes.

His tie had dinosaurs on it. It feels stupid that that is the one thing I remember so clearly.

"Hi," I said quietly from the doorway. I scrunched the hem of my tee-shirt up in my hand.

The disappointment was palpable. Mom ignored me completely, like looking up at me would make it all so much worse. She stared at my converse, or the carpet, or the fish tank humming gently by the door. Anything but me. Her leg bounced up and down, like she'd had too many coffees that morning. But it was two in the afternoon and her nerves had nothing to do with caffeine.

Two men in suits approached the office. For a moment the sinking feeling in my stomach froze me in place, blocking the door. Shaking off the feeling, I stepped aside to let the men in. Their suits were far too nice for a small town like ours. I'd assumed they were here for some important government business with the principal.

They smiled softly and shook their heads, almost in sync.

"Mom? What's going on?" I asked. Panic was bubbling in my throat like bile.

The realisation came as one single, simple thought: They're here for me.

Their hands were tight around my upper arms and wrists like shackles. They barely struggled.

"Mom! Mr Petersen! Mr - what's going - where are they taking me? Mom!" I kicked and screamed until my throat was hoarse. After a while, I went numb. Wherever these men were taking me, I was helpless. They were so much bigger, taller, older, scarier, than fifteen-year-old me. A small part of me, deep, deep inside, thought, wherever they're taking me, it has to be better than here.

---

"Happy birthday Lyla!" Zoe yelled, tackling me into a hug in the middle of the kitchen.

"Keep your voice down," I laughed. It was barely seven in the morning.

I loved the way the light streamed in through the kitchen windows here. Making my morning cup of tea was my favourite part of my day. Or at least one of them.

There were a lot of favourite parts now.

"I will not. It's not every day you turn eighteen." She said as she stirred a bowl of pancake batter.

I smiled softly, pouring the milk into my mug. Watching the white-brown patterns swirl, I couldn't help but laugh.

"What?" Zoe smiled.

"I'm just really glad to be here. I didn't think I'd make it to eighteen a few years ago." I surprised myself with my candour so early in the morning.

"Well, I'm very glad to have you here. We all are." Zoe's warmth brightened the entire room. I believed her.

"Morning girls. Happy birthday, Lyla." Cordelia descended the stairs with her usual poise, already dressed and made up. Her smile faded after quick greetings were exchanged.

"I need you to wake the other girls and get dressed. We have visitors coming."

---

A/N: Hey! I've started this fic as I fun exercise to get myself to start writing again. I finally watched season 8 of AHS so now I'm obsessed, and I haven't really written anything substantial in like a year, so I figured I'd use this passion/interest and make something of it!

God, I've missed fanfic writing. (I wrote The 1975 fics on Wattpad when I was like 13/14 and they're pretty tragic but they were so fun...so I'm back!) I just wanted to say that while this is based in America, I'm not super familiar with American schooling systems (and I'm sure there are other things I'll slip up on)...so things might be just slightly out of whack for you guys. I'm Australian, so I'm going to base the ages/grades off our system and assume the system in the US can't be that drastically different (e.g. in grade ten I was fifteen). A lot of this fic won't be based on formal schooling systems anyway but I thought it was worth a mention. Just go with it lmao. Super keen to keep writing! x

Taglist: (tiniest ever, let me know if you want to be added!) 

@angelicmichael @theneverendinghunger​ @outpostmichael​ 

[noragami-ru-manga]

Calamity bears human face

These are my thoughts on the first half of 87-2. Spoilers ahead!

I really, really liked the second part of chapter 87. Adachitoka still refuse us Yukine’s entire past, but maybe that’s for the best. If what we’ve been shown so far causes this many emotions in the fandom, I’m scared to think what would have been if they revealed everything at once. But… this post isn’t about Yuknie. Not because I don’t like his character, but because I really want to discuss the first 10 pages of the new chapter.

As I expected, we got some of Father’s flashbacks this time. Except they were about the part of his life that had Yato in it, probably several years (?) after Sakura’s death.

Yato not wanting to kill people isn’t that strange, since he started “slacking off” because of Sakura’s influence, and we know that by this point Hiiro would take initiative whenever Yato wouldn’t put his heart in performing Father’s jobs, as shown in chapter 47. Interestingly enough, when Yato suggested that Father should kill people himself, the former answered that he “was killing gods, at least” – implying that he didn’t kill humans with his own hands.  Father’s words about killing gods do sound sinister but as we’ve already seen and will see later in the chapter, not all gods are warriors like Bishamon, Takemikazuchi and Yato himself, so I wouldn’t be too intimidated by this phrase.

His line about the uselessness of killing gods without killing people though … The idea is obvious and logical, so I don’t see the point in developing it further, but even now I think that Father did not choose the most efficient way to do it. Even if Yato stayed under Father’s total control, one god of calamity doesn’t seem to be that big of a threat on a global scale, contrary to whatever Nora has to say later in the chapter.

The thing that caught my attention on these pages is Father’s words about shrines. Yato already revealed before that someone would always tell him he didn’t need a shrine, that someone being Father. Up to this point I simply thought that this was needed to cultivate Yato’s fear of being forgotten – if he doesn’t have a shrine, it’s all the more easier for him to disappear without any chances to reincarnate. The idea that Father actually thinks that shrines are useless somehow never crossed my mind, although now that I see it on paper it makes total sense.

And since Yato raised the question, I’ll take it from here. He said he didn’t understand why did needed to destroy humans if life would be boring without them. I’ve always asked this question in regard to any character whose end goal is total annihilation – what’s the point? Sure, Father isn’t aspiring to be an evil overlord as to ask him a question “who are you going to rule over if there’s no one left”. But his goal, apparently, is killing all gods and also all humans so that old gods can’t reincarnate while new ones can’t appear. But what exactly is he going to do if he succeeds? Die while feeling the satisfaction of revenge accomplished? It’s just so hard to understand someone whose views  are so different than your own.

I wish I could say that the small local kami that attacked Yato proves that Father’s words about shrines are wrong, but what happens next actually corroborates his statement. Partially.

One the one hand, the villagers’ prayer was heard, and the local kami attacked Yato for destroying the village. But Father just crushed her. So in the end, the kami wasn’t able to so anything about these humans’ problem, so yeah, their wish wasn’t granted.

This scene also demonstrates that yes, Father can actually kill gods. The more important thing about it though is that Yato sees it. We have already seen just how much Yato used to fear death for the majority of the series. However, knowing that Father has the ability to kill Yato by forgetting him is one thing; but witnessing him kill a kami just like Yato really drives it home. And it’s all the scarier how Father simply intercepted Yato’s weapon – he just summoned Chiki, who moments earlier was in the boy’s hands. Just look at Yato’s face, you can see the terror.

And Father didn’t really have the need to kill that kami. What could they have done with a chopstick anyway?  Maybe he god mad at this kami actually answering people’s prayer, disproving his point. Or maybe he just hates the gods so much he couldn’t stand even seeing one of them, so he just had to kill them.

(BTW, does anyone know what’s with the blindfold? I’ve tried looking it up but never found anything).

Nora and Hiyori’s dialogue is my favorite part the chapter, there are just so many things to unpack here. First, “Father would praise the god called Yato”. Is it just me, or is Nora jealous? We saw in Yato’s memories that Father actually praised both his children. Then again, we also saw that he punished Nora when he wanted Yato to behave. Considering that Yato grew increasingly reluctant to kill humans, and Nora had to take the lead and finish Yato’s work, this kind of jealousy is unsurprising. Nora was Father’s right hand girl and supported him all the way, but between the two of them Yato would receive more attention.

“But at some point, Yato started mourning the deaths of other people”.  Yeah, we know at what point – Nora must be referring to the time when Sakura was still alive. I’ll just throw in a couple of pics from chapter 47 to remind you why Yato started mourning people.

“When calamity strikes, people always become more devout”. This must be one of the most powerful quotes in the entire manga, because it encapsulates one of the foundations of the Noragami universe. Gods exist to grant human wishes, but who would have more reasons to pray – someone who has it all, or someone who’s in trouble? Remember the main reason why people start seeing the Far shore and things that relate to it.

Of course humans would turn to gods if they can’t solve their problems themselves; that’s the reason they exist. I’ve already mentioned it in the post about memory and memories – the idea of a being that isn’t bound by human constraints, is immortal and can help out when there’s nothing else left takes shape of a person, and that’s how a god is born. Although there’s another reason, too – people hope that if calamity is sentient, you can bargain with it. That’s how people started worshiping Tenjin – not to ask for something they don’t have, but to beg him not to take something they already possess.

It may be that, by sending Yato to obliterate villages, Father was hoping not just for thinning out people, but for a somewhat different reaction from them.

“That boy loved people”. This line is just so heartwarming. And Hiyori already said it before. She saw Yato’s past and how even back then he tried to help humans – like making snow shoes for people in need. She understood him and accepted him.

I don’t really have anything to add to Father wanting “to do something” though. I’ve already said before that Father is done with being the game master and wants to be an actual player. Apparently, he is waiting for Yukine to discover GGS completely before summoning him as a weapon.

The line about natural disasters having human faces caught my attention before the chapter was even translated.  When people die because of natural disasters, it’s horrible, but there’s nothing you can do about it. We can say that “we need to build sturdier houses/dams/etc.”, “we need to take better precaution measures”, and we try, but you can’t possibly predict everything. But in a world where the sun, the moon, the lightning, etc. are personified as gods, a.k.a “have faces”, not only there’s a way for someone to direct their wrath at those faces, but there’s the question of why these sentient elements of nature do these things that hurt humans.

Let’s look at some of the examples of gods harming Nakatsukuni, the world of humans.

Chapter 7 – Bishamon cuts down a grove to get to Yato

Chapter 8 – Kofuku’s vent releases a horde of ayakashi, which results in rising crime rates in Tokyo

Chapter 60 – Bishamon causes a local hurricane to locate Father

Chapter 66 – Takemikazuchi transforms into lightning to fight Yato

The gods harmed the world of humans, but it wasn’t for fun. Bishamon was guided by her thirst for revenge both times. Kofuku was helping her friend. Takemikazuchi became angry because his guide was hurt. All of them felt very human emotions. Except, since they are gods and their power surpasses that of an average human, the result of their outburst is a dead grove, rising crime rates, a damaged school. They aren’t actually trying to purposefully hurt humans but for those who suffer from these actions that’s hardly a consolation. And like I said, it’s one thing when you don’t really have anyone to blame, because the wind that destroyed your house doesn’t hear you, and another, when that wind has a face.

I think that when Father sent Yato to destroy villages, he hoped that the calamities would make people turn away from the gods. After all, people don’t always become more devout during trying times, sometimes they turn away from religion, which is what happened with Father himself. There’s a phrase going around the Internet – it was allegedly written on the wall of a Nazi concentration camp by a Jewish inmate: “If there is a God, He will have to beg for my forgiveness”. I don’t know how true this story is, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s real.

And even with all this in mind, I still don’t understand Father’s logic. Suppose he doesn’t destroy all of humanity, but does manage to kill all gods. I don’t think it would change that much. Amaterasu, for example, is depicted as the sun incarnate, but… if she’s killed forever, will the Sun go out, too? I understand that I’m going off the rails and into the cosmogenic myth territory here, but I can’t help it. If there are no gods left, but the forces of nature continue to destroy human lives, then Father’s actions hardly change anything. (Look at me, trying to find a reasonable explanation for an unhealthily long revenge plan). Also, don’t forget that gods of other religions canonically exist in Noragami – what is Father going to do about them, I wonder?

As for “someone” being killed by the Heavens, I’ve recently made an assumption that the pock-marked girl’s death could have been a payment of sorts to bring Father back from the dead. I made this assumption knowing that Father’s words in chapter 60 imply that gods were more involved than that. What Nora said here about Father hating attributing gods’ actions to natural disasters makes it obvious that the girl died because of one of such catastrophes. I’ve looked some more at that page from chapter 60, and I still don’t see any visible damage on the girl. However, Adachitoka emphasize a skeleton lying in a field near a dead tree. Also, I’ve turned the page upside down to get a better look, and now this skull haunts me.

Was it a drought, a famine that killed her? Or the smallpox? If these are her remains, why didn’t Father bury them? Who then helped him return from Yomi? We know it was a soul summoning, after all. So many questions that are yet to be answered.

However, even if we didn’t get all the answers yet, these ten pages did reveal a lot.

-          Nora knows Father’s backstory, but not all of it. Apparently, it’s a thing so painful that Father can’t tell everything even to his most devoted supporter.

-          Sakura’s influence on Yato was even stronger than I thought.  It’s possible that Father changed his course of actions and started giving Yato jobs that involved punishing criminals soon after the scene we saw in this chapter.

-          Father, apparently, thinks of himself as some kind warrior of justice while ignoring the fact that he does as much harm as the gods, and that he is a calamity with a human face.

 P.S. that page with the human faces of nature absolutely rocks.

[angelliev]

Lover Boy - JJ Maybank x OC - Part Fifteen - Like Mother, Like Daughter

Word Count: 3K 

Summary: Aria suffers with the aftermath of being disowned by the man who raised her, and seeks the truth from Elaine, her mother. 

Warnings: Pregnancy, morning sickness, crying, light angst, typos probably and fluff. 

A/N: I am so sorry I haven’t posted for almost a week now. To be honest I have been on a writer's block and had no idea where I wanted to go with this series, but know I'm back on track and ready to write my big fluffy heart out. Enjoy. (Not my GIF. Credits for the owner. I don’t own the show or any of the characters.)

Lover Boy Series Masterlist

Feather light kisses are placed delicately on my peach soft skin by JJ’s luscious lips. I sigh as he finds my certain spot. His rough hands roams my body, treating me like porcelain. I smile at him as he kisses downward until he reaches my stomach, places a sweet gentle kiss. He hugs my waist as he lays his head on my stomach for a moment. He just smiles for a moment, not saying a word.

“I love you. You know that?” He looks up at me with such admiration. “I know. You make sure to not let me forget.” I chuckle, playing with a strand of his hair. “Need to make sure my babygirl feels loved.” The two of us giggle together. “I still can’t believe I’m gonna be a dad.” I take his hand in mine before leading it down to my stomach. “Well, this baby is going to have one amazing father, and I’m more than happy that I’m having your baby.” I kiss him sweetly. He smiles softly. Ever since we learned about the pregnancy, he’s been extra gentle with me. It’s kind of adorable to be honest. He treats me like glass, I swear. “C’mere.” He says seductively.

I giggle as my head hits the pillow. His lips massage mine. His hands find my waist. His body nestles between my open legs. I pull him closer, leaving no space between our bodies as our make out session ensues. I let out a gasp when his hands cup my breast, toying with the buds, causing them to harden. My hands travel down his naked back. Just as they find his belt, John B busts the door open before shooting us with the damn squirt gun.

“C’mon man! Cut it out!” JJ throws a sock at the cockblocker. “Nope! Trust me I’m happy for you two, but before you know it you’ll be popping out like ten babies! Stop attacking the pink fortress!” He scolds JJ before leaving, keeping the door open. “Did he seriously say the pink fortress?” I asked in disbelief. JJ just nodded in embarrassment. The two of us eventually get up and make our way towards the kitchen where John B was cooking. The smell of bacon invades my nostrils, making my stomach turn and face go green. I waste no time to sprint to the bathroom, JJ follows behind me. I hunch over the toilet as I vomit the contents of my stomach. JJ hands grab a hold of my hair.

I release a string of coughs and wipe away a few tears as I finally finish. JJ wipes my mouth with a few napkins. The disgusting taste of vomit still lingers in my mouth. “I’m sorry. God, that’s so embarrassing.” I mutter under my breath. “You have nothing to be sorry for babe.” JJ hands me my toothbrush and toothpaste. I slowly brush my teeth as I lean over the sink. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen in a few minutes. “Are you sure?” He asked. “Yeah. Go eat breakfast. I just need a minute.” I reply. He plants a kiss on my temple before leaving me to gaze at my reflection.

I’m pale as shit, my lips are chapped, my hair is a mess and eyes are glossy. I look like a fuckiing train-wreak. I’m four weeks pregnant as of now. I haven’t been to school ever since I got out of the hospital. I’ve been crashing out at John B’s since Claude kicked me out. I haven’t really found the courage to talk to my mother. Thankfully, she’s giving me space. I don’t hate her. I can’t. She is so sweet to me and has never let me down, so how could I? I just haven’t talked to her because I’m avoiding a certain conversation.

I’m still having a difficult time trying to acknowledge the fact that Claude isn’t my dad. Learning the truth made me feel multiple things. For starters, I felt sort of relieved to know that I wasn’t related to someone as despicable as him. But then I felt upset that there was someone out there who was my real father and I don’t even know his name. I begin to wonder how my life would’ve turned out if I knew him though.

I walk out of the bathroom to see the boys slinging their backpacks on. “Feeling better?” Asked JJ. “Yeah, just some morning sickness.” I blow it off. “There’s still some food left if you’re hungry.” John B points to the pan. “Thanks, I’ll eat in a minute.” I smile at the offer. “You sure you don’t want me to stay here with you babe?” JJ asked, holding my hands. “Positive. You need to go to school.” I lead him towards the van. “Okay, but if anything happens, call me.” He demands. “Yes lover boy. Be good.” I peck his lips through the window before the two drive off.

I’m grateful for John B letting me crash out at his place. I can’t stay with Sarah, since her parents hate me, and I definitely can’t stay at Charis’ since her mom no longer wants to be associated with the Prescott family. Thankfully, John B stepped up and offered his place until we had my living situation under control. Ever since then, I’ve been sharing a room with JJ. Living in the chateau wasn’t bad though. I adore the little fish shack on the marsh. I decided now would be a good time to clean up around the shack since the boys were. Plus, I have nothing else better to do.

I think telling the pogues about the pregnancy was scarier than telling Claude. My worst fear was losing them, since they’re like a second family to me. I expected them to judge me as I broke down in tears. Instead, they all wrapped me up in their comforting arms.

It was around noon when Sarah had decided to stop by. Lately she has been bringing me my homework, since I refuse to show my face at school. We talked about the usual. The school has been talking nonstop about me being pregnant. I couldn’t help but laugh at the stupid rumors Sarah told me about. Might as well let them think what they want to think. “So, I ran into your mom this morning.” She said all of the sudden. “How is she?” I asked nervously as I fiddle with a pencil. “She misses you. She’s a little scared though. She thinks you hate her.” She answered. “I don’t hate her. I could never.” I say. “Then talk to her. Let her know that. She wants to explain herself. She wants to tell you about your father.”

“You want some coffee?” I attempt to change the conversation. “You can’t ignore this forever you know? Might as well hear her out. Aren’t you at least curious as to who your dad is?” “I’m curious, but I don’t want to meet him okay?” I mumble. “But why not?” Sarah pushed. “Because I’m scared. What if he wants nothing to do with me? How would he react to find out he’s a father and soon to be grandfather?”

“You won’t know unless you find out. I can’t say I know how he’ll react, but I do know that whatever happens, you’ll still have me, JJ and the pogues by your side.” She takes my hand, running a thumb over it. “I’m not saying you have to meet him right now, but you should really see your mom. Please? For me?” She pleaded with her puppy dog eyes. “Fine.” I reluctantly agreed with the persuasive girl.

Later…

I didn’t know what to expect as I walked through the hospital halls to my mom’s office. My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing from the nerves that were piled up in my body. I hesitated for a moment before knocking on the door. Her head pops up and her eyes light up to see me. She doesn’t wait to jump out of her seat and engulf me in a hug. “Aria! I was worried about you. I’m so sorry about everything.” I couldn’t help but return the tight hug. “I’m okay mom, and you don’t need to be sorry.” I reassured her.

“What brings you here?” She asked curiously. I sigh. “I came here to listen.” I answer. “Oh, well what do you want to know?” She asked. “Everything. I just want the truth.” My mother sighs before sitting back down. I take a seat from across her desk. “I want to know about my real dad.” I said, instead of beating around the bush. My mom hesitates for a moment, not sure if she wanted to speak.

“Before I met your father, I grew up in the outer banks on figure eight. Growing up my parents were very strict. Believe it or not, Pogues vs Kooks was still a thing back then. I never really cared for it though. To be honest I envied the pogues for the longest time, because I was sheltered. All the friends I had were fake. Every day was the same old routine. My life was agonizingly bland. I absolutely hated it. I already knew what the rest of my life was going to look like. That was until I met your real father. His name was Jamie Wilson. He was a Pogue at heart. Carefree, rebellious, energetic and adventurous. He was a bit of a heartthrob. He made me feel like a princess. He changed my life. He taught me how to love and be truly happy. We started dating. My friends stopped hanging out with me and my parents were pissed. I was forbidden to see him, but I didn’t let that stop me. I spent every day with him, much to my parents' dismay. I have never been so in love with someone in my entire life. To this day I hold him close to my heart.” She smiles at the memory of him.

“So what happened?” She lets out a long sigh. “My father purposely took up a new job in Connecticut. They packed up quickly and I was forced to say goodbye. He gave me this promise ring that he saved up his money for.” She showed off the vintage ring on her finger. I’ve seen her with this ring for years, but never thought anything of it.

“He didn’t promise me marriage, yet he promised to always love me, no matter how far apart we are, no matter how old we grow, he’d never stop loving me. He didn’t want to hold me back, he wanted me to move on with my life.” A tear fell down her face.“Two years later I had graduated and went to Yale University. That same year I was introduced to Claude. I married him at nineteen and had your brother when I was twenty. At first our marriage was going pretty smoothly and the two of us were happy. He was a different man back then. I was able to move on.” This all came as a shock to me. “What made him change then?”

She just shrugged her shoulders. “I had Jennifer when your father started to change. He was just becoming more stressed with work, his alcohol intake grew, he started to close off from everyone and he began having a wandering eye. I had suspected for a while that he was seeing other people, but I never wanted it to be true. So I denied such things, that was until I had caught him with one of his mistresses. At that point I had broken down. I had gotten so mad, we both just started yelling at each other. I walked out that night, which seemed to scare him, cause the next morning he was apologizing. It was then I told him that I needed some time apart from him and the kids. Damian was sent off to boarding school and we had hired a nanny to watch Jennifer.” My mom seemed embarrassed to admit that.

“I decided to take a trip to the outer banks. All of my happiest memories were there and that’s what I needed the most. Part of me was hoping to find Jamie, yet I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I can’t even describe how I felt when I saw him. For a moment I thought he wasn’t real, that was until I was in his arms again. At that moment I didn’t want to leave, I had considered running away, leaving my life behind to be with him, but I couldn’t do that to your brother and sister. I was happy and carefree that whole week. I had fallen in love with him all over again, and I wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of our love. When I got back to Connecticut, I had made a deal with Claude. I said I wouldn’t go through with the divorce, but we had to move, have a fresh start. He had agreed and we moved to Chapel Hill. He still continued to cheat on me, and I continued to see Sam, since we were closer. I’d go see him whenever Claude was on a business trip, which was often. Things got serious however when I got pregnant with you, by Sam. Thankfully, I was able to convince Claude that you were his, due to his many blackouts.” My mom rolls her eyes.

“Does Jamie know I’m his?” “Yes, I told him immediately about the pregnancy. Sometimes when Clause was on a business trip, I’d take you to see Jamie as a baby, but as you got older he couldn’t really see you without you or Claude becoming suspicious. So, I had convinced Claude that we move to the outer banks. I didn’t want to divorce Claude until you turned eighteen, because I didn’t want to risk losing you and the kids in a custody battle." She begins to cry. I can’t help but feel slightly guilty. “Are you still seeing Jamie?” I asked. “Yes. Aria, I’m so sorry for any pain that I have caused you. I should’ve thought more about you and your siblings, but Claude threatened that if I divorced him, he’d make sure I’d never see you guys again. He's a powerful man Aria, if he wants something, he’ll get it. I can’t help how I feel about Jamie. I love him the way you love JJ. I just hope you don’t hate me, because I love you so much sweetheart.” She sobbed. I couldn’t stop myself from hugging her.

“Please don’t cry mom. I don’t hate you, I could never. I love you too. You have always been there for me. You’re like one of my biggest cheerleaders. I couldn’t ask for a better mom. Your happiness is mine. If Jamie makes you happy you should stay with him. Just leave Claude. I’m an adult no, there’s no point in a custody battle now.” “I don’t want to let anyone down.” She wiped away her tears. “Mom, for years you have worried about everyone else’s happiness, for once just worry about yours.” I tried to convince her.

She just smiles at me sweetly. “Thank you sweetheart. I guess we’re more alike than we think. Always chasing the boys we can’t have.” We laughed together. “Like mother, like daughter.” I laugh. She tucks a piece of hair behind my hair. “Love is a wild ride isn’t? I swear, us girls are cursed to fall in love, it’s what makes us girls.” I nod in agreement.

“Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” She questioned. I thought about the offer for a moment, not thinking of anything I could possibly want or need, but something that somebody else needs. “Now that I think about…”

Later that night….

I came back home just as the sun began to set. I find JJ tinkering with the car. His eyes are so focused and trained on the vehicle and tools in his hands, he doesn’t even notice me approach him. “Hey baby.” He’s taken away from his zone, surprised to see me. “Hey babe. Where’d you go?” He asked, pecking my lips. “I went to see my mom.” I answered with a small smile on my face, he smiled back. “Really? How did that go?” He was interested and surprised. “Great. We just talked. She told me about my dad.” This made JJ take me in his strong muscular arms. “He lives here in the cut. He’s a firefighter. His name is Jamie Wilson.” This makes JJ jump up all of the sudden startling me. “No way! You’re dad is THE Jamie Wilson?!” JJ’s voice was laced in excitement, like a child meeting their favorite character at DisneyLand. “Wait, you know him?” I asked confused. He looks at me with a bewildered face. “You don’t?!” He almost looked offended.

“I wasn’t aware he was a celebrity around here.” I chuckled at JJ. “Are you kidding me? Everyone in the OBX knows him. Everyone down here in the cut admires him. He’s like most Pogue person you could ever meet.” Well I wasn’t expecting that. “So, what did he do to deserve such fame around here?” I asked, this also surprised JJ. “Before he became a firefighter, he used to race. At first it was cars, until he saved up his money to buy his own boat. He’s also an amazing surfer! I can’t believe he had a kid. As of now, I’m looking down at the legendary offspring of Jamie Wilson, and she’s all mine.” This made me burst out laughing. “You’re adorable JJ, you know that?” I admired his smiling face. “Of course I do. I get that a lot.” This just made me roll my eyes, before planting my lips on his in a passionate kiss. I wonder if the baby could feel the butterflies fluttering around my stomach.

“Can I tell the pogues? They’ll be stoked.” He asked with his puppy dog eyes. “I suppose.” I smile, when he littered my face in sloppy kisses before running off into the Chateau. “Guys! You’re not going to believe this!” His voice could be heard throughout the whole shack. I giggled, knowing that the pogues are never going to let me hear the end of this.

[jaspers-levis]

The New Boy

Happy Pride month! I completely forgot to post this back when I finished, but better late than never, right? Please be kind in regards to my portrayal of the trans experience. I identify as my birth gender, so it was a different experience for me to write as a trans boy. I hope that I got somewhat close to what that experience may be!

Also, no matter who you are, you are deserving of love, respect, safety and happiness. This blog, although twilight themed, is always a safe space. If any of you need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open. Just because I may not know the full experience of what you are going through does not mean I cannot sympathize and offer comfort. We are all human beings on this planet together <3

Reader request by @eatmoarveggies

A new trans boy joins Forks High

“Can’t believe mom’s stupid job landed us in this stupid tiny town,” you muttered to yourself at the stoplight (the only one) on Main Street. Rain lashed at your windshield in an unrelenting stream, perfectly reflecting your mood. Not two weeks ago you’d been laughing it up at a cafe table in the sun on the California coast with your friends, planning a weekend getaway trip the last weekend before school started. Now you were driving as slowly as a snail through the pools of water covering the roadway in your crappy silver toyota, for once glad your mom hadn’t let you get a convertible. 

You glanced at the clock, realizing that if you continued at this pace you would be pushing the bell when you arrived at school for your first day, and inched the gas pedal down a notch. Stupid dumb rain. Sighing, you finally made the turn into the Fork’s High school parking lot and pulled into one of the last spots available. You reluctantly shut off the engine and checked your backpack for your school welcome packet. Unfortunately they’d written your birth name on each form, rather than the name you’d chosen for yourself two years ago when you realized you were a boy. Even after all this time, the deliberate refusal to call you by your correct name still rankled.

Annoyed, you ripped your school map out of the packet and slammed the folder shut before hopping out of your car and dashing for the main building. The offensive welcome packet served as a good shield against the downpour and you managed to get to the office with your carefully styled hair still in place. “Hi there, honey,” a generically pretty middle-aged receptionist greeted you. “How can I help you?”

“I’m supposed to register for classes? I’m Y/N, from California,” you told her, setting your stuff down on the counter. 

“Hmm…” she clicked industriously at her computer for a few moments. “I’m sorry hon, I recognize the last name but not the first.”

Sighing internally you muttered that it might be under your birth name, not your actual name and she instantly brightened. “Oh! Of course, here we are. Such an interesting name for a young girl. Is it a nickname?”

“No, I actually identify as a male,” you stiffened, resigned to an entire day of misgendering if the rest of the staff and students here at Forks High were as thick as this lady. “Thank you for your help.” You grabbed your schedule out of her hands and made a beeline for the door before she could say anything that was clearly already on the tip of her tongue.

On your way out, you opened the door right into a slim, dark haired girl who immediately dropped all her books and tripped over her own untied shoelace on her way to pick them up. “I’m so sorry!” you apologized, kneeling to help gather her books.

“Hey don’t worry about it!” she said cheerfully with a wry smile, shoving up the sleeves of her plaid shirt. “My mom always says I’m a walking disaster. Edward, my boyfriend, says if there is even the slightest change in elevation I’d fall.”

“I had a friend like that back home,” you return her good natured smile and help her stand. “My name’s Y/N.”

“Cool, I’m Bella,” she shook your hand, not missing a beat. She did eye you curiously but didn’t say another word on it, besides wishing you luck on her way to her first class. Hm. Maybe Forks wouldn’t be as bad as you’d thought…

And you were deeply wrong. Every single teacher called you by your birth name and when you corrected them whispers circulated amongst the class for the better part of the period. At least one person made a pointed remark about your physical appearance within hearing range each class, and one girl openly asked you what you had “down there” in between classes. Things only got worse when you asked if there was a private changing room you could use before gym. The instructor laughed before realizing you were serious and begrudgingly offered you a cluttered storage room next to his office. “I don’t like offering special treatment,” he groused as he unlocked the door. “Don’t mess anything up in here.”

You sighed and changed quickly, emerging to find a group of teenage boys, seniors and juniors mostly, waiting for you. Gritting your teeth at the sharp jump in your pulse, you tried to push through them. One of them caught you and shoved you, hard. “So what are you, really?” their leader asked, scowling. “You can’t seriously be calling yourself a boy, you look like a fucking girl. Or are you one of those gays too?”

“That’s none of your business,” you mutter, trying to get past them again. This time you were thrust against the wall so hard your head knocked against the cinderblocks painfully. 

“Like hell it isn’t!” the leader growled in your face, pinning you against the wall. “You just want to get in the boy’s locker room for a sneak peek, is that it? We’ll give you a sneak peek right here!”

You spat in his face in retaliation and he threw you to the floor in anger, where the rest of the boys surrounded you in an instant, ready to beat the shit out of you. Curling into a ball, you sent up a prayer to whatever god was listening that it would be over soon. 

After a moment, you uncurled yourself when not a single kick landed. You looked up to see the largest senior boy you’d ever seen standing before you looking scarier than hell as he stood off against your tormentors. A statuesque blonde girl stood next to him, shaking with fury and shooting daggers at the boys. “Don’t ever fucking come near him again,” she spat, taking a step forward. 

“What are you gonna do?” the leader sneered, crossing his arms.

“You don’t even want to know, bro,” the enormous boy said, laying a restraining hand on the girl. “Get the fuck out of here before she loses her temper.”

The boys turned and ran at the look on the girl’s face.

“Hey man, you okay?” the large boy turned and reached out a hand to help you up. His skin was shockingly cold for such a large dude… “My name’s Emmett, and this is Rosalie. We heard the commotion and came to see what was going on.”

“I’m Y/N,” you stammer as Rosalie turns her fearsome gaze at you. 

“If those boys, or anyone else even so much as LOOK at you funny, you come find me or one of our family. We’ll take care of it,” she said fiercely, her golden eyes frighteningly intense.

Emmet gave Rose a look and sighed. “Y/N… you’re new, right? You met our brother’s girlfriend Bella earlier this morning. Nice to meet you!”

“Nice to meet you too…” you said haltingly, uncertain.

“Ignore Rose; she won’t bite...well, you at least,” Emmett joked, patting you on the shoulder and leading the two of you back to the gymnasium. “But seriously, if anyone is nasty to you again, we’ll help you out. No one should be treated like that!”

“Why are you helping me?” you asked, apprehensive of these beautiful strangers and their generous offer of aid.

“Those guys are all assholes,” Rosalie growled, sending a terrifying glare in their direction across the gym floor that sent them scattering like cockroaches under a light. “I hate them.”

“Well, that, and we don’t like bullies,” Emmett shrugged. “What you have in your pants, who you are or what you look like are your business, not anyone else’s. Who the fuck cares anyways?”

“Way too many people at this school,” you mutter as the gym teacher approached, explaining the activity for the class. You didn’t get a chance to talk more with Rosalie and Emmett during class, but afterwards they invited you to sit at lunch with you and their family. Maybe things really wouldn’t be that bad if you had a couple of supportive friends like the Cullens...

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Cori's Tale (Pt.1)

-------------------------

I was never much for listening to the old stories they told us about monsters and humans fighting. It wasn't that I didn't care- I just had better things to do, like drawing. I had a black backpack with gold spikes for all my sketchbooks and drawing materials, I never leave home without it. The other kids at school think it's weird, I've never taken the thing off since I got it, but I like it! That's all that matters.

Oh, how rude of me, I haven't even introduced myself have I? Cori Sable, resident nonbinary disaster child. Not that it's of any consequence what my gender or lack thereof is, after all I'm only twelve years old aren't I.

But back to the important stuff! I live in a community of lots of people, it's fun, we get along pretty well when people aren't calling me names or telling me the backpack I wear is pointless and stupid and I should just get rid of it.

If I had to complain about anything, it would be the fact that no one seems to notice how many kids go missing at Mt. Ebbot every year. Every year some kid gets dared to climb it, and every year they don't come back. With the way the other kids look at each other sometimes, I worry they know exactly what they're doing when they send someone up there.

"And that's the story of how the humans were victorious in the Battle of Mt. Ebbot," the teacher closed her book, placing it on a shelf next to her. I hadnt heard a word of what she said, not that it mattered since I already had the whole thing memorized to begin with. I glared enviously at the back of the room, where teenagers sat on their phones, willingly able to ignore the story and not get in trouble. We werent allowed to get phones until we were fourteen, and even then we had to get jobs first, and recite the story of monsters vs humans. I don't think I'll ever get a phone, I'm terrible at doing work for one. For two the way everyone here tells the story of our fight seems very biased, it's almost like they didn't try to cooperate with the monsters at all, just maim and kill and lock away where no one else can find them. It's rather rude in my opinion, monsters just seem like weaker magical humans, they just look different and have a different culture, I don't see what's wrong with that.

Of course, bringing this up would be a detriment to my already tediously hanging reputation here. A kid who isn't well liked would be ill-advised to go spouting off about how monsters and humans aren't so different, about how maybe if we'd shown a little mercy we wouldn't be in this situation.

See, we used to be able to live in separate houses, used to be able to get stuff whenever we wanted. But it turns out a lot of that was because if decent trading with monsters, and of course, no monsters, no nice things. Not to mention, going through an entire war is hardly good for anyone involved, it's actually probably the worst possible event to go through. That's what led us to here, with so many orphans the human race decided "why not just make all children orphans" and took us away from our parents nearly as soon as we were born to be raised in these communities, only able to escape once we prove sufficient enough to survive on our own.

I'll probably never get out, they'll kick me out at twenty-one of course, but the problem with that is, I don't think I'll get the hang of life by then, or ever really. There's just to many things to learn! How to drive a car, how to use a phone, how to get a job, how to talk to people, it's all way to much. And with no one helping me out, I'm basically trying to operate a plane where all the buttons are the same color and the switches don't have labels.

Recess was my least favorite part of the day. I used to like it, but now I get pushed off of everything I try to use. On top of that, recess is when The Choosing happens. If you haven't figured it out yet, that's when someone gets dared to climb a giant mountain or risk being labelled a coward and ostracised, one time a kid refused and they got them kicked out entirely!

"Cori!" I heard a rough grumbling voice call my name. I turned to face the girl, her name was Ulana, and she was the one who decided what happened to all of us. Red hair braided behind her back, Jean's ripped in so many places it couldnt possibly be intentional, the only thing scarier than her was the twin brothers that always followed close behind. Sora and Pevril were oddities of their own, with Sora having black and blue eyes and Pevril being abnormally tall for a child. They were of course, only scary when around Ulana, other than that, I didn't see them as much of a threat, sometimes it even seemed like we could be friends.

"What is it, Lan," I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't call me Lan," growled the girl, she was nearly a foot taller than me, and almost old enough to age out of the community to. But she was looking for a reaction, and I learned long ago that I should never give one to a bully, not if I had any self-respect.

"Right, well what do you want then?" I tilted my head to the side, focusing more on the sound of children playing in the distance than Ulana.

"I bet you can't climb Mt. Ebbot and survive," I froze for a second. I was aware I wasn't well liked, but perhaps i should've paid attention to just how deep that disdain went.

"And if I don't accept?" I said, digging my feet into the ground.

"Then I'll take that nice backpack of yours and chuck it in with the next kid, and you'll get kicked out," I wrapped my hands around the backpack straps subconsciously.

"Fine, I'll play your game, but if I do make it back, you can't send anyone else down ever again," I said, looking her directly in the eyes. There was a glint there, one I that sent shivers down my spine.

Mountains were, of course, cold, but my legs had a weird relationship with temperature. I had a blue and indigo striped hoodie on, one with little grey horns at the top, and black shorts with black boots. The ever important backpack was still tossed over my shoulders, sketchbook and art materials jostling around inside.

I reached the top of the mountain soon after, there was a crater at the center. I thought to myself for a second, whether Ulana had mentioned anything about going into the mountain, or if I could go home saying I had climbed it myself. I was in fact, so caught up in this decision, that I was caught off guard by a light shove from behind, and sent hurtling down the crater, my backpack clutched to my chest.

I landed, miraculously, in a pile of soft flowers, that seemed to cushion my fall.

I couldn't tell where I was, just that I was really far down, and the sky was really far up. I made the decision to keep walking.

After a few mere seconds of this I came across a patch of grass, where an orange tree stood at the center. I paused for a second before realizing- the tree had a face.

"Howdy! I'm Orangey, Orangey the orange tree!" It spoke, in a voice that sounded cold and calculated.

"Uh- hi- I'm Cori- the not orange not tree-" I said, doing a sort of two-finger salute in return.

"You're new to the underground arentcha?" Said Orangey, I nodded in response.

"Let me help you," suddenly something jumped out in front of me. It was glowing, different shades of pink blue and yellow faded in and out of what looked like a heart.

"This is your SOUL, the very culmination of your being!" Said Orangey, he seemed unphased by the tri-color phenomenon of it.

"Your SOUL can get stronger when you gain LV, that stands for LOVE," he said. I wasnt sure that sounded right, Love didnt seem like the kind of word one would need to abbreviate.

"Down here, LOVE is shared through friendliness pellets," spinning orange shapes appeared on all sides, I eyed them suspiciously "Go on! Catch as many as you can!" Said the tree. I chose to go the opposite route, backing away as the shapes closed in on me.

The tree's expression changed, it was one of anger and hatred "Smart kid, aren't you," its voice was deeper, less calculated, more angry and bordering on psychopathic.

The pellets surrounded me on all sides, preparing to close in. The tree began to laugh, a cold and unfeeling cackle that sent a chill down my spine. The pellets were inches away from my skin, when suddenly they'd disappeared, the tree was gone. Something- no- someone- walked out if the shadows. He was tall, with white fur and horns, and a tossle of light brown hair at the top of his head, adorned with glasses, a blue shirt, khakis, and a grey cardigan.

"What a cruel creature, torturing such a poor innocent youth," he spoke in a softer voice, one that reminded me of how the guardians back at the community spoke to the younger children.

"I am Patton, caretaker of the ruins, come with me, I will keep you safe," Patton held a hand out, I accepted it after a few moments hesitation. Patton walked with me through an archway, into an elaborate structure, covered with vines and flowers. I felt something spark in me, I thought back to the sketchbooks in my backpack.

"Can I sit down for a second? That was a little scary," I said. Patton smiled and nodded, setting himself down in a pile of flowers between two sets of stairs. I sat down as well and pulled out a sketchbook, beginning to draw the things surrounding me.

"Oh! An artist!" Patton said excitedly.

I smiled and brushed it off slightly "Not so much artist as bored little kid with to much creativity," was my only reply as we sat there, trying to ignore the things my head was telling me.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@nerosdayinhell

@that-artsy-gay

@official-lucifers-child

@spooky-scary-virgil

@youtuberswithalex

@misunderstoodshadowling

[renified]

Weird shit that is happened to me, part 2

-I think I met a Druid. I have a horse, and we used to roam the neighborhood at my old house - which included a inactive gravel pit and surrounding forest. One day we are following one of the old logging roads through the forest and come across a clearing. As a side note, my horse is an Arabian, and can be quite spooky at times. As we come to the middle of the clearing I see a man standing jusr outside of the clearing wearing a long brown cloak, and is holding onto a staff with a crystal sphere on the top of it. If that’s not weird enough, he had just appeared - we didn’t hear any footsteps through the underbrush, nothing. My horse didn’t even seem to see him. He didn’t react at all which made me uneasy. So I politely said hi, to which the man smiled and nodded at me and we carried on. When I looked over my shoulder he had vanished.

-I have been stalked by a cougar and her 2 young cubs for the duration of my 2 hour hike up a mountain.

-While walking downtown with a friend there was a homeless man dragging his shopping cart down the middle of the sidewalk. We parted to go around him when he suddenly stops and I kid you not, roars at us and then yells “you may have more tattoos than me but I am scarier than you!”...no one asked sir.

-When I was in Rome I of course went to the colluseum like everyone else, except when I got down to the stage level, despite it being warm and sunny out, I broke out in chills and goosebumps and there was a voice in my head saying “get out get out get out”

-The place I used to work at had a back room that backed onto the underground tunnels that run under the downtown part of the city. The place gave me the creeps as it was, but when the light was turned on, another would turn on at the end of the tunnel, despite there never being any actual wiring or lights down there.

-I am constantly followed by crows and ravens.

-Also, this happens to my mom as well, and ususally on the same day if we are not together: if someone we loved passes away we are visited by a bird of some kind a few days after. This has included a hawk that followed us very closely our entire ride, and eagle that almost clipped me with its wings while riding, a mourning dove, and a chickadee that got into my house to scold me and then calmly wait to be let out 3 times after my grandma died.

-I am completely invisible to waiting staff at restaurants if I am with 2 or more people. I have to get people to remind the waiters that I am there because they never see or hear me...Despite having tattoos and purple hair.

-I have been told by a random man that my hair reminded him of a thundercloud. I had rainbow bangs at the time...

-Once found buried marbles and teeth in the backyard of my old house, and then experienced extreme déjà vu and felt compelled to go sit on the rope swing. When I did a gust of wind came out of no where and pushed me forward

-My first boyfriend purposely tried to get us lost in the middle of nowhere in the woods so we would have to spend the night and have sex (with no tent or supplies, but good thing he remembered the condoms!) I said fuck that and found the way back in less than an hour

-Same said bf told me that if he ever left me he would kill himself

-Another time with the same bf we were walking down a dirt road behind his house and a utility van went by without anyone driving it

-Another guy tried to court me, but cockblocked himself due to his religion. Said “we could never date unless I converted to his religion so I would be allowed into his heaven” then tried to ask me over late at night on msn when that was still a thing cause his parents weren’t home. When I said no, he invited some other random girl over. He comes back online an hour later and asks “whats you’re biggest regret?” When I said I didn’t know he goes ��losing my virginity” when I’m like what the fuck, he explains that he invited a girl over to have anal sex because it “didn’t count.” I quickly was like ok if THAT’s why you wanted me over we are good forever and stopped talking to him. He is referred to as Anal for Jesus Guy now.

-Anal for Jesus also got expelled from our high school for sending nudes to a girl and ran off campus and the cops had to go find him.

-He also called me an evil temptress because I wouldn’t sleep with him

-I am a tattoo artist, and people can be weird or gross. Or both. This one guy looks at me half way through and says “you’re lucky you’re a girl. It doesnt show when you get turned on from the pain.”

-Had a guy come in asking if we would be willing to tattoo a name on his penis. We said no. He comes back a week later to ask if we would reconsider. We again said no.

-There was a guy that was ultimately banned from the shop and was nicknamed Seizure Guy because he would always tell you that he had medication in his back pocket if he started seizing. He was also so unhygienic that anything he got done got severely infected.

-I have an extremely intuitive client that essentially reads my fortune for me each time.

-I have been given jewellery, crystals, bones, books, canned tuna, and baked goods as tips.

-Because of my hair it gets a lot of attention and have had many people ask if I know their friend who also has purple hair. Yes. We meet on tuesdays.

-My inner compass is strong enough that I can pass as a local in foreign cities and get asked for directions multiple times...which results in confusion when I can’t help them or don’t understand the language

There’s probably more, will add when I think of it

[moonlessmondays]

Sailing Close to the Wind || Cora x Robert | Alternate Universe

This was supposed to be part of CobertWeek 2017, but things got lost in translation and it took me almost 3 years to even type this up and post it. Anyhoo, enjoy! Let me know what you think!

The prompt is: Pretend relationship.

______________________________________________________________

Cora Levinson feels her heart knock inside her chest as she walks the long hallway leading to the office of her boss. She’s not entirely sure how this meeting is about to pan out, not really sure how it’s going to go. Gwen, her boss’ assistant, had called her from the office line and had politely told her that her boss had asked to see her. 

She’d bit down on her lip in anxiety, but she knew. She knew what it was for.

It is, after all, a very clear cut what’s about to happen, or at least, it's a very clear cut to her what needs to be done, or not be done anyway. 

It’s a waiting game at this point.

Honestly, it’s all a very stupid mistake, after all. She’d not been paying attention, absorbed as she had been with the new project. As an architect, she had wanted to be hands-on. She hadn’t wanted her design to be butchered by the hands of an engineer who did not consult her or didn’t bother to consult her.

She takes pride in her work, on being hands on and available for her clients. If anything, she’s reliable and competent, knows the in and out of her own design. She likes to see it first hand as it is built, having a say on how it is built. She’s also known for being on time, on driving hard to get to finish projects on her given deadline.

And that is exactly what’s gotten her in this mess in the first place. 

It appears she is able to keep with her deadlines on all of her projects, but not in other things in her life - the ones that make it possible for her to even have projects.

Sighing, she halts her steps once she reaches the office. The door is closed, a heavy, dark brown surface - cherry wood, beautiful, she’s always thought so. She isn’t exactly excited about this particular conversation she’s about to have, and is in fact dreading it. She raises her fist and knocks on the door lightly.

“Come in,” she hears a muffled voice from the other side. Slowly, she opens the door and peers into the room, finding herself face to face with her boss. Rosamund Painswick is the Chief Operations Officer, an Architect by profession, with an MBA from Oxford. She ran the business with other members of her family - a brother, if Cora remembered correctly.

Cora noticed another strange face that is almost familiar, but she couldn’t quite place it in her head. They were sitting on the couch on the other end of the room. 

“Hello, Miss Levinson,” Rosamund greeted with a terse smile. 

Cora tried to read the room. Tense, that’s all she can think about. She swallows and urges herself to come in, telling her feet to their part and move. Her legs are shaking but she tries really hard to notice, or let it give in. 

"Uh, hello," Cora greets although it sounds more like a question than a greeting, and she fights a grimace as she pushes herself forward. 

She watches her boss, and notes that the way her red hair glows in the late afternoon sunlight streaming through the window makes her beautiful, but decidedly scarier.

Relax, Cora, she tells herself. You are not here to be executed.

"Have a seat," Rosamund invites politely, gesturing to the chair in front of her desk. Rosamund's blue eyes are trained on her form, and they are icy as they are warm, and Cora has had first hand experience of the ruthlessness of the woman, as well as her generosity. Rosamund is known for her designs as well as her stance in the boardrooms.

Rosamund is only a couple of years older than Cora, but has already accomplished so much more than Cora could ever imagine. Rosamund Painswick is formidable and more than capable, of course, but she is also a member of one of the wealthiest and well-known  families around.

Their family - Crawley - owns the biggest firm in town. They've built many skyscrapers around Grantham, which parts of had been - from what Cora has heard - owned by their ancestors in the early days. A good number of infrastructure in London had been designed and built by them as well,  spanning decades and generations of Crawleys. 

When Cora had moved to London to study Architecture - much to her mother's consternation and her father's concern - she had planned to move back to New York and work her way up in some other architectural firm there. She had been hopeful, given how well she'd been performing her school and the series of internships she'd managed to get - it all looked very well in her portfolio. But then, she'd fallen in love with Grantham, one of the busiest, most beautiful places just outside London, when she'd managed to get an internship with Downton Designs. 

They had offered her a position just before she finished her internship and before she graduated from her degree. The visa process had also been quick and easy, sponsored by Downton Designs themselves, and she'd worked for them right out of University - almost two years ago now. Going back home to New York with such a wonderful prospect in one hand had become such a far away dream, and it fell down on the list of her priorities.  

After all, Grantham is just like New York, almost, with the added bonus of being thousands of miles away from her mother.

It's been a win-win situation for her.

Cora reminds herself that it's not going to be as bad as she fears. She already has a couple of contingency plans in place.

She hears Rosamund clear her throat, effectively waking Cora up from her reverie. Cora looks up with wide, apologetic eyes.

"I'm sorry," she says, sitting up and straightening in her chair. She swallows the lump in her throat.

Rosamund nods and folds her hands on top of the desk daintily. "We seem to have a problem," she murmurs, and boy, oh boy, don't they. "What happened?"

Cora is certain her boss already knows exactly what happened, but launches into an explanation of her current predicament anyway.

It's a stupid thing really. A colossal mistake. An oversight on Cora's part. She had been so absorbed with her new project - the first really big one after almost two years in the company. She had, of course, worked on many projects before - big ones where she's the junior, or smaller ones where she's lead or working solo - but this is the first one she had worked on a really big one where she's the lead. She had wanted it to go so well and so smoothly, to produce great results. She'd been tied in meetings left and right, that she had forgotten the deadline for her visa application. Her best friend and roommate, Phyllis, had reminded her of course, but she still had forgotten. She had missed the extension as well, and had only realized with such a sense of dread, when she'd received the letter telling her that her failure to submit required documents and complete her application had now subjected her for reapplication, which means she has to go back home to New York. 

It's a right mess.

Cora breathes deeply as she finishes her story and looks up at her boss. The other woman's face is unreadable, and Cora feels her heart sink further into her stomach. She licks her lips and turns her gaze to the other man in the room. His lips are pulled down in a frown, and his brows are furrowed. He looks just about as readable as Rosamund Painswick is.

She turns her attention to her boss and watches her nod. "Alright we'll get back to you, Miss Levinson."

And with that, Cora is dismissed.

Read more here.

[doedreamss]

The Cowboy and the Mustang (Part Three)

links: part one, part two, [part three], part four 

Ship: Hangman Adam Page x Jane (FOC)

Summary: Jane and Adam have been dating long-distance for five months ever since their chance meeting on her road trip.  They’ve grown closer than ever and the reality of their complicated future is drawing nearer.  Jane decides to spend her winter break in Montana with Adam, much to the disappointment of her mother, who was hoping Jane would come home for the holidays.

Rating: Explicit (smut scene, cause these two couldn’t handle a reunion without one)

Length: 7,932  words

Available below the cut or on AO3 HERE

“Are you really not going to be home for Christmas this year?”

Jane worried at her nail, biting it (a horrible habit), as she held her phone to her ear and tried to fight the guilt her mother’s voice plagued her with.

“Mom, I told you already…” Jane started gently and suppressed the sigh pushing up her chest.

“I know, I know…”  Her mother said before Jane could start.  They’d already discussed it in full length when Jane had gone home for Thanksgiving and first broached the subject. 

Adam and Jane had been dating long distance since the summertime when they’d met on her road trip with her best friend, Kate.  Jane had one semester of college left after winter break and then, degree in hand, it’d be time for her to put it to use.  Jane still wasn’t sure what to do.  They were too early in the days of dating to suggest moving in together and the bigger city was still a few hours’ drive from Adam’s.  Adam’s town was small and not in need of any type of equine veterinarian.  They already had a town vet, and Adam already said the man was still years off from retirement.

Stuck in circles with no concrete solution in sight, Jane decided she’d spend her winter break with Adam and his daughter.  It would be a month of time together when they’d only had a few days previously.  Jane hadn’t admitted it out loud, but it was sort of a test, too.  The way she felt about Adam was exciting, but terrifying, too.  She’d dated in the past and even thought she was in love before, but those relationships paled in comparison to this.

Every time her phone rang, and it was Adam calling or facetiming, her heart felt as if it was in her throat.  Her cheeks always hurt after they finished talking from how much she’d been smiling.  They texted back and forth constantly in paragraphs, trusting one another and letting down the walls past hurt had made them build.  Jane had never connected with anyone like she connected with Adam.   She considered herself a reasonable person, but they’d only known one another for around five months and she already knew she was in love with him.

Not that she’d told him… even if Kate had tried to convince her that she should.

“Jane, honey?”  Her mother’s voice gently broke her out of her thoughts, and Jane looked in dismay to see she’d broken off a tiny chip of her nail.

“Sorry mom, I just have a lot on my mind.”  She got up from the couch and started pacing.

There was silence for a few seconds before her mother sighed.  She’d already told Jane previously that she shouldn’t be focusing on a relationship with a man when she was so close to graduating.  School, she’d said, should be her main priority.  Men would come and go.  Jane wished her mom could just meet Adam.  She’d understand.  Adam wasn’t like any man Jane had ever met.

“Well, just know that if you change your mind we’d love it if you were here.”

“I know mom.”  Jane’s heart sank.  She hated disappointing her mother and she loved being home for the holidays.  Her family was the sort that went all out, singing to classic Christmas tunes as they decorated, making a trip of going to the tree lot to pick the tree, dressing in big, comfy warm clothes and getting coffee before they walked the neighborhoods and admired everyone’s light-up decorations, sugar cookie baking and decorating, and so much more.  Jane loved it, especially her rowdy, excited nephews and nieces running amuck around the house and filling it with cheer.

“I love you dear,” her mom said gently.  It was weird for them to disagree on something.  Jane had always made such sound, reasonable decisions, she could tell the way she was chasing her heart with Adam had confused her mother.  This wasn’t like Jane.

“I love you too mom.”  Jane said, and then the call ended.

She had two text messages waiting from Adam.

I was just out talking to Lucky and he reminded me I’ll be seeing you in just a few days.  Can’t wait darlin.  I miss you.

Lucky says he misses you too.

Jane smiled, her heart immediately lifting.  A soft giggle and she was quickly replying, texting back.

I knew you could talk to horses!  Tell Lucky I miss him too.

Oh, and I miss you too, I guess.

She added a little emoji with the tongue sticking out, then one with a little angelic halo circling its head.  It didn’t take long for Adam to reply with laughing emoji’s and then for three little bubbles to appear, telling her he was texting back.

Shit… I guess the game is up, you know my secret that I’m the only person on God’s green earth than can talk to horses.  Hope I can trust you to keep it… otherwise…

Are you all packed?  Excited?  Second thoughts? 

They’d discussed the trip in lengths over the last month or two since Jane decided she’d spend her entire winter break with Adam.  Initially, Adam had argued against it, not that he didn’t want her to spend time with him, but that he felt it was important she not sacrifice her family traditions and her time to go home and spend the holidays with them. He’d also felt bad, knowing her mother was giving her a hard time over it.  But Jane hadn’t budged, and he’d eventually caved to the excitement of getting to have her with him for an entire month.

You know I’m not having any second thoughts, dummy.  And I’m so excited I can barely sleep!  I feel like this is already my Christmas present, just getting to see you.

She chewed at the inside skin of her lip, yet another of a list of bad habits she had when she was worriedly thinking.  She didn’t want Adam to be upset that she and her mom were still on the outs because of this, but she wanted to tell him, too.  He was always so good at knowing the right things to say to help ease whatever little aches were plaguing her heart.  Jane had never had a boyfriend as sweet, genuine and attentive as Adam was.  It scared her a little bit.

This was what love was.

They still hadn’t said those words to each other, but Jane knew.  She was completely and helplessly in love with Adam Page, the mustang-taming cowboy and single-father from Montana. 

That was what made the approach of her final semester a little scarier as well as the looming shadow of her future, where she’d go, and what choices she’d make.  Would she sacrifice her heart for her career, or her career for her heart?  She’d spent her entire life, from early childhood, working her ass off to get to where she was.  She’d always known she was going to work with horses and veterinary school wasn’t easy, nor was it easy to earn and keep her full-ride scholarship to so she could attend.  Her professors were already helping her gain connections with vet clinics across the United States.  She could have her pick after graduation and she knew that made her luckier than most university graduates.

But Adam was in Montana and she knew she couldn’t do a long-distance relationship forever. Eventually she wanted to be married, to share the house and the white-picket fence, the ten-acre farm with a few horses, goats, chickens, and dogs.  She wanted to hear children’s feet running through the house and their shrill, youthful giggles followed by Adam, laughing warm and happy as he playfully chased after them.  She wanted it so badly it terrified her.  Jane’s plan had always been to focus on her career until she was graduated and had been working at her chosen clinic for a year before she started dating or even considered the idea of marriage and children.

One chance meeting and everything was being thrown up into the air.  Jane wasn’t sure where the pieces were set to fall, either.

Her phone buzzed, and she glanced down, realizing she’d missed a couple texts from Adam.  The first had been sent shortly after her prior reply and read: Now hang on, I’m not that thoughtless of a boyfriend, darlin’.  You’re getting spoiled on Christmas whether you like it or not.  Me getting you for a month is my present, not yours.  Keep that in mind.

She smiled.  In the absent gap where she didn’t reply, tangled in her endless circling thoughts, he’d just texted again.

Everything alright?

He knew.  Even hundreds of miles apart, he somehow knew.  Jane didn’t know how he did it.  She took a breath and began to text, telling him the truth.

Sorry babe, I just got off the phone with my mom before I text you and she’s still being… well… my mom.

Rather than receive a text reply, her phone started ringing.  A selfie they’d taken with Avery in the middle, all three of them smiling wide and happy – Adam distracted and looking at Jane instead of into the camera – flashed up on her screen and made her smile again.  It did every time she saw it.  She pressed to answer the call and put the phone to her ear.

“Hi baby,” she said softly.

“Hey darlin’,” she heard the metal latch of the gate swinging and locking into place and the air moving around him as he started walking.  He’d been working out with the horses while he was texting her.  “I’m sorry your mama is giving you a hard time, but you know she’s just worried about you.”

“I know,” Jane admitted, but frustration clung to her tone.  “I just wish she’d trust me.  She acts like I’m throwing everything away, like we’re not constantly worrying about what the future is going to mean.  Like I’m wasting everything I’ve worked hard for just because I fel-” she cut herself off abruptly, realizing with a start as she got worked into her rant she almost said it then and there.  Like I’m wasting everything I’ve worked hard for just because I fell in love.

“I know darlin’, I know.”  After a slight pause – long enough to make her worry that he’d figured out what she nearly said – Adam spoke.  “Just give her time.  Do what you think is best for you.  That’s all that matters.  Alright?”  He didn’t corner her or ask her what she’d been about to say.  Maybe it hadn’t been as obvious as she thought.

“Yeah,” Jane sighed and wrapped one of her arms around her waist, wishing she could be curled up in his arms again, laying on his broad, muscled chest while he spoke gentle reassurances and ran his wide palm in calming strokes up and down her back.  Her heart lifted when she realized that would be a tangible thing she could have in just a few days’ time.  It had felt like this vacation would never get here.  “I just can’t wait for you to hold me again.”  She confessed in a soft, small voice.  Showing her weakness and need to someone was strange for Jane, so used to having to take care of everyone else and herself all on her own. 

But Adam let her slip.  He took the weight of the world off her shoulders without complaint, happy to be her solace.

“Darlin’, when you get here, you’re going to spend all night in my arms.  Hell, we might be together so long we’re going to start growing into one person.”  He joked, helping lift her weary spirit and making her laugh.  “You know… I was going to let this be a surprise, but I think it might help you to know it now…”

“What?”  Jane blinked, wondering what trick he had up his sleeve.  “What is it?”

“The night you fly in to Billings, me and you are staying in a hotel and heading to the ranch the next day.  My ma is watching Avery and looking after the horses, so we can have a little time just the two of us.”

“Oh, Adam,” Jane sighed, unable to keep how happy and relieved by the thought she was.  She loved his daughter and she adored his mother.  The woman had been a blessing at smoothing over the awkward situation when they’d first met and before they’d parted ways she’d gripped Jane’s hand tight and smiled, telling her she couldn’t begin to say how happy she was Adam had found a good-hearted girl like her.  Jane and Avery were still figuring one another out, but Adam assured her Avery would get more comfortable the more time she spent around them.  Jane was the only woman Adam had dated since Avery’s mother had left when she was too young to remember her, so it was an adjustment for the little girl. 

“That sounds like heaven.”

“Good,” he said, and she heard the happy smile in his voice.  “I’m sorry darlin’, but I’m going to have to cut this call a little short.  I’ve got a guy coming from out of town to look at some of the colts I gentled, and it looks like he just pulled up.”

Jane hoped the man liked them and bought them.  Adam made his living training horses, both clients who brought their horses to him for training and by adopting wild horses from the BLM holding facility a couple hours from his ranch which he gentled into sound, hardy little workhorses.  If no one was buying, he wasn’t profiting.  

“That’s okay!  I need to finish packing anyways.  Good luck baby!”

“Thanks, darlin’, can’t wait to see you again.”

“I can’t wait to see you too.”

“Bye darlin’.”

“Bye baby,” she said, and listened for a just a few seconds longer as Adam lowered the phone from his ear and called out in his happy, robust country drawl to the man who’d just arrived at his ranch.  The call ended, and she sighed, feeling better and more excited to get to Billings and into the arms of the wonderful man waiting for her.

  *****

The minute their eyes met, Adam cut through the crowd of people waiting in the airport lobby for their loved ones, opening his arms and grabbing Jane up before she could say a word.  He pulled her close and dipped, pressing their lips together in a kiss that told her how badly he’d needed to do that without saying a word.  Jane pulled away dizzy and a little breathless, cheeks flush as she looked up into the face of her handsome cowboy, who made her heart race with just a look.

“God woman,” He sighed and whispered against her lips as their foreheads pressed gently together, “I missed you more than I thought it was possible to miss someone I was talking to every day.”

“Me too,” she said, heart already soaring.  Adam was so open about his admiration of her, he never gave her a chance to worry he didn’t feel just as strongly about her as she did him.  His hands dropped to hers as he pulled away, wrapping gently around them, squeezing and rubbing the pad of his thumb over her palm. 

“Let’s go get your suitcase and get out of here,” he said, grin climbing higher into his round cheeks and making the laugh lines around his eyes more prominent.  He was turning away, bringing her with him.  “I need to get you alone in that hotel room before I explode.”

Jane laughed softly and blushed – even though they’d slept together, done naughty phone calls, texts, snapchats and facetime calls together, she still felt flush any time Adam’s attention turned ravenous.  Sometimes the way he looked at her stunned her.  Jane didn’t think she was particularly unattractive, but everyone had their little spots they stared at a little too long in the mirror and she was no exception.  Adam drowned her in earnest compliments and pointed out parts of herself she’d never appreciated or took a second to see as beautiful.  Seeing herself through his eyes was a new experience and sometimes, when she was having a moment where she felt particularly cute, she could hear how he’d compliment her and get giddy before snapping a picture and sending it his way.

Adam never disappointed.  The moment he had a chance to look at it – which was normally quickly after she sent it unless he was working with a horse – he said just what she imagined he would and then some.

The pair retrieved her suitcase and headed out to his truck.  As they made their way through the crowds, Jane caught the eyes of other women that were drawn toward Adam as they walked.  A small nagging bite of insecurity threatened to wiggle its way through.  He was so damn handsome in his Stetson – a black one this time, set on his fluffy, shoulder-length blond curls – workman’s jacket, plaid button-up, dark-wash tight-fit jeans, big silver belt-buckle and brown ostrich leather boots.  Jane couldn’t blame them for looking, but she glanced down at herself and wondered what they thought of her.  Did they think he could do better?

“Darlin?”  Adam’s concerned voice drew her eyes back to his.  “You alright?”

“Yeah,” she said and smiled, which was easier beneath that Montana summer sky blue-eyed stare.  “I’m perfect.”  She smiled a little deeper, remembering she was here to be with Adam and he was here to be with her, and Adam matched the grin before ducking in to steal a quick kiss, squeezing their joined hand and maneuvering up to his truck.  No one else mattered.  A thousand woman could look at Adam, but his eyes were always on her.

Jane climbed in the cab and Adam loaded up the suitcase before climbing into the driver’s seat.  The truck started with a gentle rumble and he reached to turn the music station down low enough they could talk if they want to.  Before she could buckle in to the passenger’s seat, he gently patted the wide breadth of his palm against the middle bench seat beside him.

“I’ve had enough of getting to see and hear you but not touch you,” he said, “c’mon.”

Jane grinned and let go of the seatbelt she’d just grabbed, scooting over until she could curl up against him.  He wrapped one arm around her and tucked her in close as she buckled the waistband seatbelt.  As the truck pulled out of the airport lot and onto the road, Jane remembered to ask him about the horses.

“Did that rancher buy any of your colts?”

Adam looked down at her and brightened before looking at the road ahead with a nod.  “He sure did!  Bought all five I had trained up.  He had his eyes on Lucky too, but I’ve barely started ground manners and I told him I don’t rush a horse.  They learn at their pace.  I told him if he was still in need of good horses by the time Lucky was ready I’d let him know and he could come take a look and see if he was still wanting him.”

Jane felt her heart sink.  She knew it was stupid, but she would hate to see Lucky go.  She felt like he bonded she and Adam together.  The first time Adam had been working with the wild colt was the first time she and Adam had met.  But Adam’s horse training was a business and he needed to sell horses to keep it operating.

“That’s great!”  She said, because it was true that it was great.  Sometimes it took one rancher who knew other ranchers who were looking for new stock to put him in demand.  Hell, they might even ship a colt or two his way to have it trained up, too.  The more word spread about Adam’s work with horses, the more opportunity he’d have to gentle them in a way that respected the bond between man and horse, and the more chances he’d have to keep bringing in fresh stock and training them up.

“Yeah,” Adam said, “actually, because he bought so many, I figured we could make a little stop before we go grab the Christmas tree tomorrow.”  He glanced over at Jane as they stopped at a red light, one eyebrow quirking.

“Oh?  What’s that?” 

Adam decided they’d wait to get the Christmas tree until Jane was there, and the three of them – himself, Jane, and Avery – would go pick one out, bring it home and decorate it that night.  It was a way of helping Avery adjust a little more to Jane’s presence in their little family, even though the situation was a little bit strange.  It was also a way to give Jane a little bit of her family traditions when she wouldn’t be back home to participate in them.

“Well, my buddy who’s a handler up at the BLM facility called and let me know they got some nice-looking colts in that he thinks I could do something with.  They were shipped in out of state.  I figured we’d go up to the BLM facility and see if we might come away with a horse or two.”

Jane couldn’t help the way her heart lifted in excitement.  “That would be fun!”

“Yeah, and,” his grin stretched a little wider, “I think it’s time Avery got her first horse.  There’s a yearling filly there, a little bay roan that makes me think of her.  They’ve got the same personalities, I swear it.  They could grow up together a little bit.  The filly wouldn’t be ready for saddle training for a year or two at least, so that’d give Avery time to get used to the responsibility of keeping a horse.  And they’d have each other for a long, long time.”

Jane’s heart swelled.  She remembered being a little girl obsessed with horses, daydreaming about when Santa would finally give in to her pleading letters and deliver a pony for her on Christmas day.  “She’s going to love that so much.”

He grinned.  “It’s about time, the girl started riding before she could walk, and she’s wanted one of her own for long enough now.”

Adam pulled the truck off the freeway and down to the parking lot of the multi-story hotel.  They checked in and Jane’s excitement had her breath hard to catch the further down those door-lined halls they traveled.  She was going to have Adam alone again.  In person.  There wasn’t any phone to clutch to her ear.  There wasn’t any time she was going to close her eyes and feel a sharp ache in her heart for how badly she wished he was tangible.  She was going to be held in those big, strong country arms of his and up against that broad, thick-muscled chest.  When she put her ear to it, she was going to hear his heartbeat.

Jane glanced up at Adam, who she caught watching her.  A gentle flush crept across his pale cheeks, just barely hidden by the blond of his beard.  She knew he must’ve been thinking along the lines of what she’d been.  The last time they’d physically been together they’d been practical strangers, drunk on some powerful, near-divine feeling of soulmate like proportions.  Now they’d spent months talking and texting and facetiming on the phone.  He’d listened to her meltdown rants about school and helped talk her back up.  She’d listened to him gush about how well one of the colts had done or have him pull Avery up to tell her how good she did at school that day.  They knew one another more intimately than ever.

Adam’s free hand grabbed hers and entwined their fingers.  He gave them a little squeeze and his smile deepened.  Jane exhaled and smiled too, heart pounding in her ribcage.

They entered their room.  The door hadn’t even swung shut when Adam was on her, hand leaving hers to instead frame her face between his palms.  He crashed her back into the wall beside the door and smashed his mouth hot against hers.  Jane moaned into his mouth, which stretched hers wider, and his tongue plunged between the open invitation.  His hips dug hard, belt buckle pinching into her stomach.  His thick fingers curled in her hair, around the back of her head, and held her firm as they kissed.

Jane worked her hands up between their bodies, dragging her nails over his stomach and up his chest.  He groaned into their kiss and dug his hips upward between her legs again.  She pushed at him, though his strength was immovable.  It wasn’t that she wanted the kiss to end, but that she needed to breathe.  Her lungs were starved, apparent by the way she gasped for air when he finally pulled his mouth from hers.

Adam’s heavy breaths fell hot over her, body frozen where it’d pinned her, tension leaking slowly from his muscles.  He’d needed the breath too but had been so ravenous that he hadn’t been able to break the trance that kissing her became.  Now they stood in quiet, chests heaving, ears roaring with the blood rushing through them.

“I missed you,” Jane said, voice small and sad.  They’d talked every second they could, but she’d still missed him.

“I missed you too,” his voice was a similar ache above her.  He leaned in and pressed his lips in a tender kiss on her forehead.

Adam stepped back but let one of his hands catch one of hers.  He led her down to where the hotel bedroom opened and turned them, so her back was to the bed.  Despite the need built inside him for her, Adam forced his fingers slow as he stripped her clothing.  As each new item fell away, his eyes appraised her, and he breathed low under his breath.  When he popped her bra off and slipped the straps down her shoulders, he licked his lips and groaned low in his throat.

Adam knelt and helped her step out of her boots and jeans, carefully setting her feet right.  He tilted his head back, blond curls barely maintained by his Stetson and looked up her naked body, catching her eyes with his.  Jane flushed and swallowed.

“Sit back, angel.”  He demanded, country drawl soft, and Jane lowered to sit on the plush white comforter atop the bed.  He pinched the crown of his hat and pulled it off, setting it to the bed and running a hand through his hair to smooth the pressed-down bend the band of it had created.

Adam peeled her socks off and fell to holding her right ankle.  His touch traveled slow up the back of her leg as he leaned in, gently pressing his lips to her skin.  He kissed up her leg, beard scratching her thigh, and drew closer and closer between them.  She could feel the warmth of his breath against her and it pulled a moan from her throat just as his mouth settled wide atop her skin.  The muscle of his tongue curled, pressed between and drug up, then down.  He ate her slow, letting her moans build and spill out of her caught-open lips, her back arched and hips rolling toward him.  His wide hands splayed on her backside, fingers pushing and encouraging her as physically close to him as possible.  His teeth grazed her raised, swollen clit and made her jerk at the electricity that spread along her nerves and flashed in the muscles of her thighs.  The surprised yelp she made had a chuckle rumbling from his mouth and vibrating his lips and stubble against her sensitive, wet, needy clit.

Jane dropped her chin to her sweat-dappled chest, looking down her naked body at the halo of gilded curls buried between her thighs.  Sensing her gaze, Adam raised his brow and let his blue eyes meet hers but didn’t once stop the way his tongue flicked and curled, or how he sucked back hard, as if the intent was to drink every drop.  Caught in his hungry gaze, Jane’s heart beat quickened, and she sucked in a shaky, needed breath.  Her thighs trembled on his shoulders and her eyes rolled back, unable to keep hold of his any longer.

Adam dipped against her with a more feverish passion, concentrating flicking the tip of his tongue over her clit and suckling with his lips.  He drove her wilder and wilder, her hips gyrating against his mouth as he feasted.  But, he didn’t let her cum.  When nirvana was in reach, every muscle in her body freezing tight, fingers curling desperate into the sheets at her sides, Adam pulled away from between her legs and sat back on his heels, watching her body tremble with need.  Jane blinked away the beginning phase of fog as her body realized it was left to be driven wild by the sensations he’d stoked, but not offered final reward.

She pushed herself up with her palm flat on the mattress and looked at him where he knelt, smiling knowingly and wickedly at her.  Mischief flashed in Jane’s eyes – she wasn’t going to let him look so satisfied – and she pushed herself forward, practically leaping at him.  His shocked expression was satisfactory, as was the grunt when his back hit the hotel room floor and he looked up at her, dazed and then amused, and then hungry all over again.

Jane sat with more purpose on his hips, feeling the length of his erection still trapped painfully in his fitted denim jeans.  Her hands flattened over the button-up shirt he was wearing – he’d stripped his workman’s jacket off when they’d entered – and she slowly began to slip the buttons through each little hole and pushed the material open.  She pushed her fingers through the faint dusting of blond hair on his chest and curled them, raking her nails down his torso and smiling as he sucked in a hard breath, groaned and pushed his hips up toward hers.  Oh… she was going to enjoy tormenting him as much as he’d enjoyed doing it to her.

Using his body as leverage, Jane began to rub her hips over his, the stiff denim over his zipper pushing against her clit and making her moan.  They may as well have been ruining his jeans, the way Adam was moaning and bucking his hips up to meet her strokes, likely leaking already for her.  She didn’t tease him very long – at least not clothed – and only when their breaths were both ragged and he was shaking beneath her did she stop and slowly slide down his body.  When she released the tension of his belt-buckle and undid the button and zipper of his jeans, Adam sighed in relief.  His cock was swollen thick and had been painfully restrained.

Jane’s hands slipped beneath the band of his boxers and pushed the material down as her fingers slipped around his hard, throbbing cock.  Adam moaned to feel her touch on his bare skin.  Jane repositioned her body, putting either one of her knees on the other side of his, free hand flat on the carpet by his hip.  Jane dipped and opened her lips over his leaking head, tasting the most intimate part of the man she loved.  Her tongue swirled and dipped over the sensitive lip.  Only the stretch around his girth kept her mouth from curling into a smile at the way he moaned and thrust greedily up into her mouth.  The length of his shaft slid atop the bed of her warm, wet tongue.

His long-reach brought a hand to gather her hair, pulling it out of her face and holding it back so he could keep his chin at his chest and watch her bob up and down the length of his cock.  She wet it with her saliva and where her mouth didn’t entertain, her fingers picked up the slack, curled around his shape and stroked with a soft squeeze of pressure.  Jane dipped and ran the flat of her tongue down his length to his sac, sucking each of his balls in turn as Adam groaned and his muscles in his thick thighs tensed, showing their definition beneath fat.  She curled the tip of her tongue and ran it along the taint, then up again so she could stretch her mouth around the head of his precum leaking cock and slide him back inside her mouth.

His fingers in her hair curled tighter and tighter.  He jerked beneath her ministrations and leaked a tense curse in a strained whisper.  His blond brows knit together and almost made him look angry with the concentration it was taking him not to cum.  Adam’s hand in her hair pushed her down, forcing his cock to kiss the back of her throat where she gently gagged and the soft skin there wrapped tight around his girth.  He moaned and dropped his head back, chest heaving with a needed breath.

Then, he let her go.  Jane slipped off his cock, sucking back the saliva that’d gathered while she’d been held on it, and took a deep breath as she did.  Sitting up on her knees she wiped at her lips with the back of her hand and looked down at the half-dressed, ravished cowboy laying beneath her.  Adam’s dazed, but hungry eyes looked up her naked body and met hers.  They’d been so caught up in how desperate for one another they’d been, it took them until now just to breathe and settle in with what was happening.

But nothing was going to slow down.  Jane needed him too badly for that and he clearly felt the same.  Adam curled his torso to sit up just enough to tug the long sleeves of his shirt off, uncaring how he tossed it to the ground beside them.  He wanted his hands back on her too quickly to bother with it.

Crawling over the top of him, Jane lowered her hips as Adam grabbed the base of his thick, saliva-wet cock and pressed the tip inside her.  His hand jumped up to the pinch of her hip and settled heavy, pressure guiding her slow down over the top of him.  A moan poured low and long out of his mouth, thick and smooth like molasses.  Jane’s muscles clenched tight around him as she adjusted to the feel of his girth stretching her again, head tilted back and mouth open as she voiced her pleasure.  For a moment they sat, joined, and then Adam let up on her hip and Jane began to ride him.

Her palms pressed against his sweaty torso as she slipped up and down his cock, taking him in deep.  Their hotel room was filled with breathy, heavy moans, soft whines from her lips and occasional shared whispers of their names, spoken with not only passion, but the love they’d found for one another. The stickiness of her wet slick covered her thighs and his hips, combining with the sweat pooled on their warm skin.  Adam’s hands were still on her hips, fingers digging sharp into the layer of fat he could grip and pinch.  Initially he seemed to hold himself back and let her take the reins, but a few thrusts in his need took over and his hips began pushing up to meet and quicken her pace.  He buried his cock up inside her, grunting with each forceful shove of his hips and squeeze of his hands on her hips.  She’d be surprised if she wasn’t bruised tomorrow.

Eventually he took over and Jane’s toes curled, nails raking into the fine blond hair on his sweaty chest, mouth locked open and eyes rolled back, body jerking with each hard-thrust Adam buried up inside her.  He was going faster and faster, and they’d both built themselves to the brink of pleasure, making nirvana a quick and easy reach.  Jane wished they could stay like this forever, no matter how exhausting it’d be.  To be intimate with Adam in this moment, as close as two people could be, let all the worries of their future and the unanswered questions remain meaningless.  The only thing that mattered was the two of them in one another’s arms.

“Adam!” She squeezed out from her tight throat and forced her chin down, eyes open, so she could look down at him.

Adam’s brow was furrowed hard, jaw clenched, and nostrils flared.  The muscles in his arms bulged against the skin as his body tensed and he forced her to meet his driving hips.  His eyes met hers and the desperate, feral nature of the beast inside him subsided just briefly, just enough to lock gazes and show her the man still existed behind the need.  But there was even something in that – something in Adam losing himself and just fucking her raw and ruthless, that excited her.  This man with a heart of gold, who she knew from the instant she met him she could trust her life with, couldn’t help but be so needy for her that he lost all the civility when the doors were closed, and they were left alone.

“Adam!”  She cried again, a ripple of pleasure shooting through her body and curling a knot in her lower abdomen.

“Yeah,” he grunted in a hot breath and pushed his cock up inside her soaked lips.  “Cum for me, darlin’,” he could barely speak, his vocal chords were so tight.  Instead, Adam’s words were a growl from that deep, barrel chest and it rumbled beneath her clinging hands.  She hadn’t realized she’d drug red marks down his chest when she’d raked across his skin but saw them then in slightly raised lines.

“Oh, fuck, I’m –” her brows pulled tight inward and her body froze.  A small cry squeaked past her lips as her brow furrowed.  Adam grunted and plunged as deep inside her as his cock could go, balls sucked up to the base, legs shaking with the effort it took to keep from cumming too soon.  Jane twitched, stilled, and cried her release in a mix between a whine and a long moan that filled the room to the ceiling.  Those wet, warm velvet muscles wrapped around his driving cock clenched tight around him, pulling and coaxing him to his own release.

“Jane,” he managed, “I lo- nnngggghhh!!!…”  Whatever he was going to say was stolen by the force of his orgasm.  Adam’s vocals fell to moans spilling in tight together as his body jerked hard enough to nearly unseat her while she quivered and came herself.  She felt the heat of his orgasm pouring inside her and knew she should worry – they needed to stop fucking unprotected unless they wanted to further complicate their already complicated situation – but only let a satisfied smile smear across her lips before she collapsed forward atop him.

One of Adam’s arms lazily lifted and rested around her bare back, squishing her sweaty body against his.  The haze of gratification fogged their minds and they could only heave hot breaths that slowly melted into gentle laughter shortly after when they realized how crazy they’d been.  All their plans – they’d get to the hotel, check in, and then go get something to eat and enjoy the town – had been derailed the split second they had a moment alone.  They couldn’t even wait a few hours.

Adam’s fingers raked her hair away from her face, where it’d stuck to the sides with sweat.  Jane turned to look at him and smiled warmly, matching the look he was giving her.  Her heartbeat felt as though it skipped.  He had a way of looking at her like he was in awe of her, like he was trying to memorize every pore in her skin and every subtle dip of her face, so he could remember it to perfection any time he wanted. 

“You’re perfect, you know that?”  His words were slower, country drawl a little stronger, voice heavy with exhaustion as the adrenaline of their lovemaking gently eased from his body.

Jane laughed.  “I think you’re bias.”

“Hmm,” he shifted her body carefully, still tucked hard inside her, both still sensitive.  “Maybe.”  He admitted, and his grin deepened.

“We didn’t even let you get undressed all the way,” Jane pointed out, rubbing her foot gently over his half-worn denim jeans.  They’d only tugged them down his thighs enough for her to ride him.

“I didn’t think it was very polite to stop a lady when she’s on a mission.”  He countered playfully, to which Jane laughed.  He was good at that… being silly and making her smile and laugh.  Sometimes her cheeks ached after they’d talked, he’d teased her to laughter so much.

“Good call,” she remarked, nodding firmly.  “I definitely had no intention of being slowed down.”

“Mm, no you did not,” he said, voice low and deep, making a ripple of need tighten in her belly.  How the hell did he manage to make her want him even after she was physically exhausted?  His fingers skimmed up and down her spine in a delicate, comforting touch.  “And thank God for that.”

Jane laughed softly again and then fell to just letting Adam hold her.  She nestled her cheek against his chest, still lightly damp with sweat and slowly cooling, just as the rest of her was.  Her eyelids threatened to drop after a day of travel and their lovemaking, but the night was far from over.  She let her eyes close only to wrap her other senses more securely around Adam and soak in the sensation of being held by him.  When she’d had to go back to university she hadn’t thought she’d miss being physically present with Adam so badly – they’d only spent a few days together in totality – but her heart had ached for this.  She never knew being with anyone could feel like this.

“Hey,” he beckoned gently after a few more minutes of quiet, his fingers still tracing delicate patterns on her naked skin.  “Do you still want to go out on the town?  I don’t mind calling in room service and staying here all night if not.”  His voice rumbled in his chest against her ear.

“I do,” she said, blinking her eyes open and readjusting to the lights they’d left on in the room.  She glanced up at him and smiled.  “I was just enjoying being in your arms again.”

He melted at that.  “I was enjoying holding you again.”  He dipped and placed a sweet, loving kiss atop her head and leaned back down.  “But c’mon.  Let’s shower, get dressed and head out.  I got a lot of people to make jealous as I show my pretty little girlfriend off, and I’ve got a mind to spoil you a li’l too.”

“Spoil me?  Why?”

“Because I said so.”  His grin climbed a little higher in his cheeks, making them rounder and pronouncing the smile lines at the creases of his eyes.

“We’ll see about that.”  Jane said, rolling her eyes, and slowly started to lift her pleasure-tired body from his.

“Mhm, we sure will,” he said and reached to playfully smack her ass as she turned, pushing his jeans off the rest of his legs and climbing to his feet to follow close behind her.

They were delayed again when, in the shower, slipping soap suds along each other’s bodies, Adam got hard again.  His touch began to wander down her body and he stirred her again into madness quicker than she’d thought possible.  His lips had placed warm kisses against her wet, clean skin, over her shoulders and between her shoulder blades as he wrapped his grip around her hips and sank his cock inside her again.  Every high thrust slapped their wet skin together, his balls smacking against her cunt, and droplets of water from the shower stream flying around them.  His low grunts and moans joined her high whines, bouncing and echoing in the acoustics of the tiny bathroom.  When they finally finished showering and shut off the water, Jane’s palms had indents of the shower tile and the muscles in her thighs ached with exhaustion.  She even had to hold on to his firm forearm for leverage as she stepped out, feeling wobbly-legged.  He grinned, and she shook her head, mesmerized he’d had it in him so soon for a second round.  If he kept this up, Jane wasn’t sure she’d be able to walk the rest of the time she was here.

She made a comment as such, which made Adam laugh that low, warm rolling laugh and melt into an almost sheepish smile.

“You’ve kept me a hungry man, darlin’.  What can I say?”

At that she could only grin, and the pair of them finished getting ready before going out to see what Billings had to offer.  They walked in the cold along the downtown streets and red-brick buildings near their hotel, peering in Christmas-decorated window displays hand-in-hand, cuddling up and stealing kisses just because they could.  Any time Jane got particularly excited about something she saw, Adam encouraged her into the store and tried to talk her into letting him buy it for her.  He was relentless and while she was able to argue her way out of a few gifts, they still ended up with a few bags by the end of the night. She managed to buy something for him, despite his best attempt to play down his excitement – a folding knife with a wood carved handle depicting a mustang running free on the range. 

They found a cute little diner to eat at, tucked inside beneath the twinkling, warm string lights wrapped around wood beams.  They talked and talked, and Jane was amazed they never ran out of things to talk about, even after talking every day for month’s straight.  It seemed neither could be without the other’s touch for too long.  Jane would lay her hand on the table and Adam’s would blanket it, warm, secure and soft.  The pad of his thumb would skim across her skin, inspiring goosebumps.

And when the night ended, and they lay, naked, tangled limbs beneath and atop the hotel comforters, Jane began to drift peacefully off to sleep, never once remembering that earlier in the day, Adam had nearly said something that she was sure was on the tip of her tongue, too.  Every second that passed with him was going to make it harder and harder not to say.  Every time he lifted her heart and made it race, the words were there, wishing they could be spilled.  It drifted in her mind as her eyes closed, but she had enough sense not to say it.  Not yet.

I love you, Adam.

Adam sighed a content breath and wrapped his thick arm tighter around her, pulling her closer in.  A smile formed sleepy across his mouth, eyelids closed and light lashes gently tickling his round cheeks.  He felt more content than he had in years.  Like everything made sense.  That thought he’d had earlier – the one he’d almost said out loud – drifted across his mind, but he held his tongue and kept his mouth closed, too afraid to add pressure to what had been the perfect day they both so desperately needed.

I love you, Jane.

[nancydrew65]

SKAM Austin Season 2 Episode 9 Thoughts

So, I thought this was the last episode, but then a clip was released today. I’m guessing there will be ten total episodes in this season. Like I said before, Daniel is officially canceled in my book, so if you don’t want to hear me ranting about what an asshole he is... maybe don’t read this.

Home

Grace had to drive out to Clay’s school just to talk to him. God, can she get a break?

Clay is trying to laugh things off, but Grace is serious AF.

And then that asshole calls Grace a slut. He is such a horrible human being. Why does Daniel believe him over Grace? I will never understand this storyline. He knows his brother is psycho, why would he believe anything he says?

Grace “apologizes” to Clay and he says: “It is a scary time to be a guy, you know?” I thought that was an especially good line to put in to SKAM Austin. Men in the United States say that all the time now that #MeToo is a thing. Heck, even our president says it. It is disgusting. I mean, you think it is scary to be a guy and be accused of sexual harassment? How about being a woman and experiencing sexual harassment. That is a hell of a lot scarier.

Then Grace goes off on him, exposing him for the terrible person he is. She is such a badass in this scene. I missed this beautiful, strong woman.

Clay rushes to assure Grace that he didn’t do anything to her, but it is hard to believe him. Grace just threatened to report him to the police. I am willing to bet he would lie to her, just to get her off his case.

But I have to say, my favorite part of the clip is when Grace walked away and Megan was waiting for her on the curb to drive her home. This brings up a small issue I have with Austin. It is not even really an issue, but something I would have liked to see. I wish we could have seen Megan and Grace’s relationship more this season. Last season, we didn’t really get much and we didn’t this season either. I think it is a problem with the remakes in general. The Eva character kind of gets sidelined in Noora’s season. The remake that portrays these girls’ friendship the best is SKAM NL in my opinion. I love seeing scenes of Isa and Liv together because they are just so close.

That being said, I adored this scene. I think it may be my favorite iteration of the confrontation scene yet.

Ready to Talk

Grace texts Daniel about everything, explaining that she might never know what happened, how terrifying the whole ordeal was, that she might have been drugged. Daniel starts texting back, but never sends anything.

This is the point of no return for me. Let me tell you a story. When I first watched SKAM Season 2, I didn’t find anything too inherently wrong with it. At this point in time, I wasn’t aware of the whole social media and text aspect of the series, so I was just watching the full episodes without any of the context of the instagram posts or text messages posted. Sure, I definitely felt uncomfortable about some parts of the storyline, like William constantly pressuring Noora to go out with him or come to his parties. Even when the scene came out where William confronted Noora about the Niko situation, despite how awfully he treated her, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I thought, “Well, he doesn’t know the whole story. Who knows what Niko told him and Noora really didn’t get a chance to explain herself.” I finished off the season with this mindset. It was only later that I learned about the text messages posted online. I learned that Noora had explained what happened to William, telling him that she had most probably been sexually assaulted. This is where the character of William lost any sympathy I might have had for him. Going back to SKAM Austin, Daniel disregards his girlfriend’s feelings when he has full knowledge that she might have been drugged and sexually assaulted. He treats her like shit after this, not texting her or talking to her. Nothing he does can ever redeem him in my eyes. Grace deserves better.

God is a Woman

The girls are all chilling, getting ready to go to Prom later. Kelsey waltzes in, looking gorgeous in her pale blue prom dress. She talks about she used to feel that she had to be skinny to be successful, but now she realizes otherwise. She pulls out a water bottle that is filled with alcohol.

Megan refuses a drink when Kelsey offers, saying she wants to take a break from drinking - and from Marlon.

Kelsey whole heartedly agrees, stating that they don’t need boys to validate them. This is one of the most flawed parts of Season 2 for me. Kelsey and Megan realize that they don’t need boys to have self-worth (which is such a great message for teenage girls), but Grace (the lead of this season) experiences the opposite of that. She is strong and confident without a man in the first season and the beginning of this season, but by the end she needs Daniel to be happy. There is so much disconnect between the two messages this season is trying to put forward.

Jo complains about her boy trouble with the guy she’s been talking to online and the girls assure her she doesn’t need him.

#Prom

OK, well this Prom is a hell of a lot nicer than the one my school offered. We actually had Prom on the exact same night, so…

Pen-Joe comes up to Jo and Grace, asking Jo for a dance. Like the boss lady that she is, Jo replies “I already have a boyfriend” in Spanish. That is right, Pen-Joe. You lost your chance with the beautiful woman that is Josefina Valencia.

Back inside the dance, Abby announces Daniel as Prom King, but apparently he didn’t show up. This reminds me of yet another awful thing Daniel did to Grace. He said they were going to Prom together, but then he never shows up. Dude.

Zoya wins Prom Queen!!!!! I wasn’t sure if we were going to get this scene, but we did and I am so damn happy for her. She deserves it.

Grace asks Pen-Joe where Daniel is, but he just says that “family stuff”. What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Out on the dance floor, Kelsey is dancing with a nice-looking dude, Zoya and Megan are dancing together, and Jo accepts Pen-Joe’s offer for a dance. You better make him apologize for the rude way he treated you, girl.

Aw, Grace posts a selfie of herself looking happy, but you can tell it is all a facade. She goes to join Megan and Zoya.

Welcome to My Life

It is the middle of the night and Grace gets a message on instagram from xxtrinity2121 about Clay.

A conversation ensues between the two girls. Apparently this mystery instagram girl is their version of Mari, telling Grace nothing happened between her and Clay. Obviously, this news is a great relief to Grace.

They also talk about how stressed they both are, with xxtrinity2121 confessing that she is very depressed and sometimes thinks about killing herself. Since this clip was posted, a chat was posted on SKAM Austin’s website between Grace and this girl which leads me to believe she has a more important role than just being the Mari stand-in. I have heard a lot of theories of who she is. A lot of people think she is Tyler, who is either trying to fool Grace or he was actually the person in bed with her and Clay. I don’t think the latter option is true because it looked like a girl in the bed to me when I re-watched that clip. Another interesting idea is that she is the Austin version of Even. I mean her username xxtrinity2121 has the number 21:21 in it. I really like this theory and hope it is true. That would be so interesting.

Usually Never Wrong

Zoya and Grace are walking down the hall, when Zoya pulls Abby over. She apologizes for not believing Abby about what a bad guy Hunter is. Abby tells her no problem and says she is really happy how everyone came together to support Zoya as Prom Queen, how it would have been racist if Zoya hadn’t won. Now, I don’t think Abby was trying to be mean. I genuinely think she was trying to be nice, but obviously it really hurt Zoya. She walks away. God, I feel so bad for Zoya. She deserved to win Prom Queen on her own merit, not because people think it would be racist for her not to. I think this is really gearing up to her season and I really hope she gets to have one.

Grace spots Daniel in the quad and rushes up to him, asking where he’s been. He says he’s been to see Clay. No elaboration. Then he tells her he’s going to New York for the summer. Well, I guess it’s not as bad as moving to London permanently like William was planning on doing.

Grace says she wants to talk and Daniel says “I’m done talking. It’s too much.” Too much? For you? Grace could have been sexually assaulted and this asshole has the nerve to claim it’s too much for him?God, I hate Daniel.

Grace runs after him, yelling her most iconic line yet. “Daniel, stop being a little bitch.” She tells him off. She says that a lot of stuff happened and it sucked. For her. I’m really glad they gave her that line. Because it is so damn true. Then she starts talking about how no one has loved her like Daniel has, blah, blah, blah. I wish we’d gotten more of Grace’s parents backstory because that would have given better context to this scene.

Daniel still gets in the car and drives away. As Grace is crying at the curb, we see him run back to her and they embrace.

She says she can explain everything, and he says she doesn’t need to. A lot of people were overjoyed at this line, but…. She already explained everything in the text she sent him and he ignored her and treated her like shit afterward when he finally saw her. This line makes no sense to me.

Whatever, I know a lot of people were happy they finally got together, but I can never fully forgive Daniel.

General Thoughts

This was a weird week because we got a bunch of clips on Saturday and then on one Monday and nothing else the entire week. I do think there were a lot of good parts of the clips, aside from Daniel drama. Also, the clip where Grace and Clay talk might be my favorite clip this season or for SKAM Austin in general. I think they executed it beautifully. See you next week for the last episode of this season!

[insanely-creative-things]

Big Hero 7: The Series

www.fanfiction.net

Big Hero 7

(Long post)

*Today is another school day as six of the main gang are in the cafeteria sitting together. Fred and Gogo are leaning closer to observe a square gelatinous brown blob with translucent green ooze on top. Cora leaned away from the sight, wondering if she should file a complaint to the head staff.*

Gogo: What is that?

Cora: My question exactly.

Fred: It's mystery loaf, cause it's Mystery Loaf Monday!

Hiro: So you have no idea what's in that thing?

Fred: Well then it wouldn't be a mystery would it?

*Cora looked around to see everyone gag or even throw away the mystery loaf. She even spotted Karmi from afar who shuddered before she threw it into the trash. Hiro was making a concerned face over the loaf and both looked at each other before returning their gaze to the offensive abomination in front of them.*

Cora: I think Grandmama saved me when she insisted I make my own lunch today.

Hiro: Agreed, which by the way, thanks for making me Bento again.

Cora: *Smiles at him* No problem.

*Baymax leaned in to the mystery loaf and scans it to see if it contains any hazards that would damage the body*

Baymax: Although it does not have the shape, color, or texture of any known natural foods. Consuming it will not cause permanent damage.

Fred: Well that's good enough for me.

*Fred cut a piece of the mystery loaf and ate it, taking his time to recognize any possible flavors.*

Fred: I detect knods of beef byproduct... or is that hairnet? No no no no no no no, it tastes like... cilantro?! Why?! So gross!

*Fred desperately grabs Gogo's glass of water to drown the taste of cilantro. He gave it back to Gogo once he finished drinking.*

Fred: I'll eat around it.

*Soon a yellow ball bounced onto the rest of the mystery loaf which disintegrated into green goop upon impact.*

Fred: Hey!

Honey Lemon: Oops! Sorry Fred.

*Honey Lemon is currently reloading her chemical balls onto her chem purse*

Hiro: Ugh..Honey Lemon this might not be the best place to reload your Chem purse.

Honey Lemon: Maybe not, but this is the way I get to mix my two favorite things my best friends and chemistry!

Cora: But wouldn't people find it a little suspicious that you're carrying a purse that looks exactly like the one of Big Hero 7's hero is currently using?

*But Honey Lemon focused on her purse until she finished reloading*

Honey Lemon: All done!

Wasabi: Honey Lemon!

*At that moment Wasabi runs to Honey Lemon and gives her a hug*

Wasabi: You're alive! I didn't think I'd ever see you again!

Gogo: Did you go Mad Scientist again?

Honey Lemon: Oh it's no big deal. My roommate made lemonade and I tried out a new formula for instant ice!

*The rest of the gang just looked at her after hearing that she had actually froze her entire dorm room instead*

Honey Lemon: Don't worry, my roommate's fine. Look she's right over there!

*The gang's attention turned to Honey Lemon's latest roommate victim, the girl who is encased in ice and still miraculously alive*

Honey Lemon: Hi Regina! Sorry again!

*Regina managed to give a dirty look at Honey Lemon that spells out 'I will kill you in your sleep!'*

Cora: *Worried and a little concern* Honey Lemon, if she wasn't frozen right now, I'd advise you run...and to probably sleep with your eyes open from now on

*After two other students that are friends of Regina moved her to another place away from Honey Lemon, the gang brought their focus on her. They had just received word from a staff member that until the dorm is ice-free, she needs another place to stay.*

Hiro: So uh, where you gonna live? Well you know, until your apartment thaws.

Honey Lemon: Hiro the world is a good place, something will work out.

*Her eyes directed to Gogo, highly hinting that she wants to be roommates with Gogo.*

Fred: You have your own place, don't you Gogo?

Gogo: You live in a giant mansion, don't you Fred?

Fred: I do but my parents insists on an in depth three-year background check for over night guests.

Wasabi: Can't be too careful, lots of weirdos out there.

*Wasabi dips the ends of his fry in two separate dipping sauces and eats it and drops the middle part into the fry box*

Gogo: Cora do you think Honey Lemon could stay with you until her apartment is livable again?

Cora: I would happily invite Honey Lemon, but Papa is...overprotective. He's getting better, but he still doesn't trust anybody to visit yet, much less live with us, not even friends. The only reason Hiro here *gesturing to Hiro beside her* gets a pass is because of Grandmama.

Hiro: *Puts an arm around Cora* Heh, aren't I the lucky one.

Gogo: *Rolls her eyes at this before going back to the conversation at hand* Well you wouldn't like my place.

*Honey Lemon still looks hopeful at Gogo*

Gogo: And it's a sketchy neighborhood.

Honey Lemon: There's no such thing as a bad neighborhood, just bad attitudes. How big of a smile will it take to get a yes?

*Honey Lemon smile widens until Gogo finally caved.*

Gogo: Fine.

Honey Lemon: Yay!

Wasabi: A move? Oh I am so in! This is totally my jam!

Honey Lemon: See? When you have amazing friends no problem is too big!

Gogo: I think I saw that on a bumper sticker, on a bashed-up old car in a junk yard. Anyone need anything? I'm getting more water, my glass is half empty.

Honey Lemon: Actually it's half full!

Cora: Half empty, half full. It's a glass of water, and water is vital for any living being.

Baymax: I have scanned the glass. It is 51.2% filled.

*Gogo in retaliation drank the rest of the water and slammed it to the table*

Gogo: Empty.

*Later on that day, the gang is at Gogo's neighborhood at the evening hour. Everyone is there to help Honey Lemon move in with Gogo. To everyone's surprise, Cora's grandmother arrived at the neighborhood alone*

Cora: Grandmama what are you doing here? I thought Papa was coming here to help us.

Grandmama: Stupid son-in-law refused to come over here. Don't ask why Cora.

Cora: Okay, just be careful.

Grandmama: I'm old Granddaughter, not reckless

*Fred leans to Hiro as he witnessed Cora and her grandmother talk to each other.*

Fred: I can see why her Giant Dad doesn't talk back to her. She's REALLY scary, maybe ever scarier than Gogo and I didn't think that was possible!

Hiro: Tell me about it. But it's because of her that Cora and I allowed to date and I get a free pass for coming over to their house so I can't really complain. Plus, she seems to have a soft spot for me, *Somewhat smug* I think it has something to do with my irresistible charms.

*Cora sighs before she turns around with a smile on her face.*

Cora: Alright, let's get to work!

*Afterwards Wasabi arrived in the moving truck and stopped where Gogo wanted.*

Wasabi: Boy, you weren't kidding about this neighborhood. It's crawling with jay walkers.

*Gogo lifted the handle to open the back of the truck as the others started grabbing the boxes.*

Hiro: Any sign of Honey Lemon?

Gogo: Oh yeah, she's already here.

*Their attention turns to Honey Lemon, who's talking to a large man next to a fierce looking motorcycle.*

Honey Lemon: I think you're gonna love it! What do you say?

Felony Carl: Mhmm.

Honey Lemon: Yay!

*Honey Lemon pushed the button on her Chem Purse to draw out three chem balls. She handed her purse to Felony Carl for safe keeping*

Honey Lemon: You might want to stand back.

*Honey Lemon threw her chem balls at the motorbike to transform it. The bike is now pink and glittering but still epic by craftsmanship.*

*Gogo skated her way to the two and grabbed Honey Lemon's purse from the man*

Gogo: And you might want to be careful with your stuff around here.

Honey Lemon: I am, I asked uh...What's your name?

Felony Carl: Felony Carl.

Honey Lemon: I asked Felony Carl to watch it...*To Felony Carl* You might just want to go by Carl.

Felony Carl: Yeah it's up to my Mom.

Grandmama: I'm glad to see you're doing well Felony Carl.

*Felony Carl's turned his attention to the old woman with her cane. He gave smile and nodded his head in respect.*

Felony Carl: As to you Mam'm.

*Gogo handed the purse back to Honey Lemon as Felony Carl hopped onto the motorbike.*

Felony Carl: Love the glitter, it showcases how comfortable I am with my masculinity.

*The man drives off as Cora looks at her grandmother surprised. Grandmama sighs before she spoke to her bewildered Granddaughter*

Grandmama: I come here often to shop for groceries, Felony Carl and I met there and talked over tea about our activities. We've been quite good friends ever since.

*Meanwhile a tall but lanky blonde man struts down the street with a cocky smile*

'Trying too hard' Hobo: Looking good Judy, when are you gonna take me out for coffee?

*Jude gives no response as she walks across the street, unimpressed with his attempt to flirt with her.*

Hobo: Ha! Classic Judy! Call me!

*He continues walking down as Felony Carl sat on his glittering motorbike reading a newspaper*

Felony Carl: What's up Dibs?

Dibs: Just going to work Felony Carl.

*Dibs puts on the stereotypical black ski mask to disguise himself*

Felony Carl: You know you're a rotten thief right?

Dibs: Pretty sure you mean awesome thief?

Felony Carl: It's not meant as a personal attack, simply an observation.

Dibs: Jealousy? Not a good look Felony Carl. The glitter's cute though.

*After failing to insult Felony Carl's already comfortable masculinity, he continues to walk down the street. He spots a sleeping old woman with her clutch, he stealthly walks over to grab it but she suddenly wakes up before she goes back to sleep while holding her clutch close. Dibs leans closer to grab the clutch but she wakes up again, prompting Dibs to pose against a fairly appropriate wall depicting a scrawny man being attacked by a muscular brute. Once she falls asleep again he grabs her clutch but slams straight into a bus pole causing him to drop the clutch back to where it was before; The bus finally arrives as the old woman wakes up and grabs her clutch to catch her bus and drops a couple coins to the Hobo, which Dibs tried to showoff but he's ignored by Judy and advised by Felony Carl as he drives by.*

Felony Carl: Give it up Dibs.

*Dibs looked disgruntled until he spots Honey Lemon's purse on top of a box with Wasabi labeling the boxes.*

Wasabi: Second shelf, sub-category drink ware.

*Once the young man picks up the box leaving the Chem purse vulnerable, he sneaks to the purse and grabs it, but trips over which flung the purse on top of a taxi cab as it drives away. Dibs quickly jumps on the back of the taxi cab and climbs up onto the roof to snatch the purse. He succeeds but is flung off the car as soon as it stopped. He brushes himself off as he picks up the purse.*

Dibs: Hehehe, and that's how you steal a purse!

*Later on evening gave way to night as Dibs sneaks into the abandoned warehouse. Once he entered the warehouse a rat scattered towards him to patiently listen to Dibs gloating over his small victory*

Dibs: They all said 'Dibs! You don't have the skills, the brains, or the hand-eye coordination to make it as a thief! Well they're about to look pretty stupid.

*Dibs then tries to open the purse, 'try' being a keyword sine he failed to realize this purse has no latch and no money.*

Dibs: *whew*...Breathe in.. breathe out..*sigh*

*Dibs then continues to bang the purse against the table as the rat scurries off, realizing that this man needs to sort out his flaws and issues but is blind to said flaws and issues.*

?: So what are we doing here?

*A female voice was heard along with the opening of a door. Dibs quickly hides himself in one of the empty boxes as the figures finally expose themselves. They were none other than Alistair Krei and his secretary Lois Carter.*

Krei: You remember that neurotransmitter that Hamada kid invented to control his microbots?

*Krei pressed a secret button under the table that switched from wooden to metallic that showed a hologram screen showing Hiro's neurotransmitter.*

Lois: Hmm, it was a genius invention. Too bad it was lost forever.

Krei: Or was it? I was able to study it from our security footage and that inspire me to make this.

*Dibs watched as a stand emerged from the table to reveal the neurotransmitter, an exact replica of Hiro's previous invention*

Lois: You made this?

Krei: Not personally I hired a team. You wear this, you can control anything linked to it with your mind.

Lois: So it's a rip off of his invention.

Krei: No, it's a better version of it.

Lois: Better how?

Krei: Legally different enough that I can't be sued.

*He places a set of green spectacles on the neurotransmitter to make the replica different from the original.*

Lois: That is better.

Krei: Right now we only have this prototype but eventually, this thing will be worth billions!

*Dibs overheard everything between the Entrepreneur and his secretary.*

Dibs: *Whispers to self* Billions?!

*The rat scurries away from the man, running between Krei and Lois.*

Lois: Rats?

Krei: That's the drawback to secret labs in abandoned warehouses.

*Krei placed the neurotransmitter back to its stand and pressed the button again to switch it to it's wooden counterpart, leaving the warehouse. Dibs hops over slightly to press the button to switch it hack to the metallic table and grab the neurotransmitter laughing.*

Dibs: Billions! Who's a rotten thief now Felony Carl?!

*He places the neurotransmitter on his head and is impressed with the visuals, but dropped the purse on the floor. He kneeled down to pick it up but as he did he bumps into the button. He quickly steps back but the purse is caught between the opening and closing of the table. He tries to pull off the purse but the force is too strong until the Chem purse breaks into pieces, releasing a burst of all the chem balls mushed together on to Dibs. *

Dibs: I'm not liking where this is going at all-

*The glob swallows Dibs whole, following the command of the Neurotransmitter. Finally Dibs is engulfed fully as he became a purple glob with green glowing eyes. When he attempted to walk he trips over, but the glop shot out to four different directions, catching him.*

Dibs: Darn it!

*Morning came soon after where Gogo and Honey Lemon begin their time as roommates. Gogo is currently working on her electro-magnetic bike while Honey Lemons unpacks her belongings. When she opens her box labeled Caterpillars she finds to her happiness that they all transformed into butterflies. Gogo got a face full with butterflies as a result. When it came to de stressing, Gogo and Honey Lemon's methods are vastly different. Honey Lemon is currently doing Yoga in her tree pose while Gogo sets up heavy rock to accompany her activity of punching a punching bag. Honey Lemons concentration is soon broken due to the loud sounds of Gogo's punches and the heavy rock music. When Gogo went over to get some milk she found her refrigerator covered in stickers, and when she opens the door she finds that even the food was labeled with stickers. She grabs the milk carton and peels off the sticker, drinking the milk from the carton like a boss. Honey Lemon places a vase full of pink tulips, but they are sliced off due to Gogo throwing her discs at a dartboard blindly. Gogo took off her blindfold and gave a somewhat sheepish smile, but then again Honey Lemon should be careful where to place her flowers. Sleeping is also where the two polar opposites clash, as Honey Lemon snores loudly until she hears the musical alarm she installed. She smacks her lips before she puts on her glasses and shakes her head instantly getting rid of bedhead and gets up to greet her roommate.*

Honey Lemon: Morning room-

*But the sight of a sleep deprived Gogo along with her hand stopped Honey Lemon in her tracks.*

Gogo: *Yawn* Do you realize you snore? All night?!

Honey Lemon: huh, my old roommate used to say that, I always thought she was being mean. Huh, well sorry.

*Gogo is attempting to catch her Z's while still standing up until Honey Lemon wakes her up again.*

Honey Lemon: I said I'm sorry!

*The two roommates met up with the rest of the gang at the Lucky Cat Cafe. That's when Honey Lemon brings up her issue.*

Honey Lemon: Has anyone seen my Chem purse?

Gogo: I told you to be careful with your stuff.

Honey Lemon: I was, I put it on a box.

Wasabi: The purse box?

Gogo: Yeah well, if you just left it on a box, it was probably stolen.

Honey Lemon: That's the sleep deprivation talking, deep down most people are good.

Cora: While I do believe that Honey Lemon, Gogo has a point. You can't just leave your stuff alone and not expect someone to take it.

Baymax: Sleep is important for cognitive function. Between seven and nine hours is optimal.

Gogo: That's nonsense Baymax. I'm doing just fine...

*But Gogo is finally lulled into a deep sleep once Baymax activated a lullaby *

Hiro: Hey uh Aunt Cass? Do you have a blanket?

Cass: Do you want a pillow with that blanket?

*Hiro turns his attention to Gogo when she lands her head into Baymax's puffy hand.*

Hiro: We're covered.

Cass: One blanket hold the pillow coming up.

*At that moment Fred burst through the door as excited as Fred can be*

Fred: Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! *8X*

Wasabi: Calm down boy, what are you trying to tell us?

Fred: There's a monster in San Fransokyo!

*He pulls out his phone to show the latest news happening live*

News Reporter: Breaking News. Reports of what is described as a 'monster' is loose in San Franksokyo. Please note we have no hard evidence to support this claim. But I repeat. A Monster is loose in San Fransokyo!

*Cora leans closer to see the photo in the news report*

Hiro: Fred, there's no such thing as monsters.

Fred: That's what all the normal say...RIGHT BEFORE THEY'RE ATTACKED BY A MONSTER!

*Fred went to his panic stances expecting the monster to attack them, but nothing came.*

Wasabi: Are you disappointed we weren't just attacked by a monster?

Fred: Of course! Defeating a monster is a glaring mission on our super hero resume.

Honey Lemon: Hiro's right Fred, monsters aren't really a thing. You know...a real thing.

Fred: How do you know? Because that's what your fancy so called 'science' books say?

Honey Lemon, Wasabi, Cora, and Hiro: Yes.

Fred: Well let me tell you about some other fancy books... Comic books! Silver Age full of monsters! And there are some featuring giant squids and giant sharks! Isn't that right Cora?!

Cora: Fred, Megalodon has been extinct for over a million years. And giant squids have not consumed any living people as of yet.

Fred: But you admit they're real!

Cora:*pouting in defeat* yeah...

Hiro: You're not going to let this go until we check it out, are you?

Fred: That is correct.

Hiro: Okay guys, I'm on it.

*The gang begin to leave except for Baymax and Gogo*

Honey Lemon: Baymax would you mind?

Baymax: I am on it.

*Baymax picks up Gogo in his arms, cradling her like a tuckered out child. Cora pulls out her phone to take a picture and giggles in happiness over the sight then quickly catches up to Hiro. Baymax walks over to go through the door but he knocks over a cup of tea in the process. Wasabi stares at Baymax as he awkwardly attempts to squeeze through between the tables without knocking over any items. Wasabi merely sighs as he walks over to help Baymax.*

*Fred, Cora, and Hiro are currently in the last known location of the monster that had been spotted.*

Fred: Okay, this is where people first saw the monster.

Hiro: I don't see any buildings knocked over or giant footprints.

Fred: Well maybe this particular monster doesn't have feet! Open your mind man!

Hiro: Well if a monster had been here there would be some evidence!

Cora: Hiro, from what I saw in the picture the monster looks more like a humanoid blob, and very human sized. The evidence of the monster should at least leave something like-

*Cora heard a soft squish sound under her foot, making her groan thinking she stepped on dog feces. She looked down but her eyes widened at the sight.*

Fred: Okay, okay let's stop gloating, nobody likes a bad winner.

Cora: Found it.

Hiro: Hmm?

*Fred and Hiro looked at Cora's rain boot to show that she had stepped on a purple glob like puddle.*

Hiro: Uh Fred, what's that?

Fred: Hmm let me touch it.

*Fred brushed his finger to scoop up the goo from Cora's boot. He sniffs the goo close to his nose, but his nostrils inhaled the goop before coming out of the other nostril back into his finger, much to Hiro and Cora's disgust.*

Fred: That my friends is clearly monster goo!

*While Fred is celebrating over the fact that he was right, Cora wiped off the goo from her face when he indirectly splattered it on her. *

Fred: Who's the cool guy who's always right? Who's real awesome and out of sight! who's biggest fear is a spider bite? It's Fred it's Fred! (X2)~

*Just then the trio heard the screams of terrified citizens. They quickly run to investigate.*

*Gogo's eyes fluttered before her vision cleared to see that in front of her is Baymax.*

Baymax: Hello.

*Gogo got out of Baymax's arms as she realizes that she was back in her apartment, where on the other side Wasabi is frantically searching for the Chem Purse in the purse box*

Wasabi: Oh co'mon! Where is it? Where is it?!

Gogo: It clearly isn't here.

Wasabi: But it has to be! The box is labeled purses. If the purse isn't the purse box, nothing in my world makes sense!

Honey Lemon: Don't worry I'm sure it'll turn up.

Gogo: Unless for the millionth time, someone stole it.

Honey Lemon: You know, your negativity isn't helping.

Gogo: Okay, I'll be positive. Positive you're not getting your purse back.

*Wasabi backs away from the banter as he looks to Baymax for help*

Baymax: Conflict resolution through a third party is often effective.

Wasabi: It's third party time.

*Baymax walks between them to give his resolution to their conflict*

Gogo: And who has a box full of butterflies?

Honey Lemon: They were caterpillars when I packed them.

Baymax: Respect-

Gogo: Exactly Baymax! It's hard to respect someone who's always like 'I'm so happy about everybody and everything' all the time!

Baymax: And understanding are-

Honey Lemon: Well I don't understand why you're all 'I'm so serious and cool and... I have bubblegum!'

Baymax: Perhaps-

Honey Lemon: I should find somewhere else to live!

Gogo: Fine. If that's what you want.

*Both girls stormed off in opposite directions, leaving Baymax alone.*

Baymax: That was not effective.

Wasabi: I agree, you just went from third party to third wheel.

*Just then screams are heard from outside the window. Wasabi runs to the window and sees what the people are screaming about; and he was soon joined by Gogo and Honey Lemon.*

Wasabi: I think we found Fred's monster.

*Dibs continues to strut down the street even when he is now a walking purple blob, unaware of the many screaming people running away from him in fear.*

Stranger #1: What is that thing?!

Stranger #2: He's hideous!

Dibs: Yeah like you all look amazing!

*Dibs trips on his feet as he face planted on the asphalt street, resembling a true monstrous blob before he stands up again. Just then he spots a flying robot in red armor fly down with three other people in super hero suits*

Dibs: What?

Wasabi: Baymax can you scan it?

Dibs: It?! I'm still a person in here! I think?

*Baymax activates his scanner as he observes the humanoid blob in front of him.*

Baymax: Scan complete. The monster-

Dibs: Hey!

Baymax: Consists of a mix of human DNA and an unknown chemical compound. Which is controlled by a electronic device. It also contains fragments of Honey Lemon's purse.

Honey Lemon: Oh no... Did my purse do this to you?

Dibs: Purse?! A purse! Yeah I don't know anything about a purse -

*Gogo cuts Dibs' path*

Gogo: You stole her purse, didn't you?

Dibs: Oh I see how it is! Something goes missing and the first thing ya do is blame the monster!

Gogo: Oh yeah, he stole it. You should've listened to me.

Wasabi: Oh thank goodness, it wasn't a labeling error... *to Honey Lemon* I know this is terrible for you but for a few minutes, I didn't know who I was anymore!

Dibs: You guys seem like you have some issues to work out, so I'll just-

Gogo: Not going anywhere thief.

Dibs: Yes I am!

*Dibs threw his new elastic blob arms to grab Gogo and swing her to Baymax, sticking her like glue. A piece of goo landed on Wasabi's head*

Wasabi: Ah! Get it off! Get it off!

*Just then Fred along with Hiro and Cora arrived, also wearing their super suites.*

Hiro: That, that is a monster. I stand corrected.

Fred: Yes you do! Everybody look at that disgusting, globby monster!

Screaming girl: He is globby isn't he?

Fred: Well then it's settled. Mind if we call you Globby?

Dibs: Of course I mind! Ugh, can this day get any worse?

*Indeed it got worse as he got hit by a bus*

Fred: You gotta watch where you're standing Globby!

*Hiro went over to pick up Honey Lemon while Cora went to free Gogo from Baymax.*

Hiro: What a mess.

Honey Lemon: And it's all my purse's fault! No... I should take responsibility. I should have listened to Gogo, she was totally right! I was totally wrong... I'm sorry...Everyone I'm really, really sorry. Really really really really sorry.

*Baymax walks over to Honey Lemon, Cora still attempting to free Gogo from the goo.*

Gogo: Okay! Enough, too much apologizing.

Honey Lemon: You're right. Sorry, sorry...Sorry.

Cora: Honey Lemon it's okay, and if you want you can start making up for it by helping me free Gogo!

*Cora strains herself to pull Gogo off of Baymax until the force slams her into the goo, trapping her to Baymax's armor as well. She groaned over her predicament*

*The rest of the team got together at Gogo's apartment, now free from the goo thanks to Fred and Hiro's help. Now clean and in their normal clothes, they went over what happened. As of now Wasabi is trying very hard to scrub off the goo from his super suit while Cora is on the phone, Honey Lemon looking downtrodden, Gogo and Fred watching the news, and Hiro working on a new Chem purse for Honey Lemon.*

Wasabi: Guys... Bad news...I'm pretty sure this is not coming out!

News reporter: How do you feel about the monster's name?

Felony Carl: Globby's short. It's accurate, I feel it's out.

Fred: Cool! I named the monster! This will be my legacy to the world.

Cora: Okay, love you too Grandmama. *To the team* Guys, I think I figured out who the monster is..or was.

Fred: What was it's human name? Alexander Lumper? Johann Smith? Justin Drills?!

Cora: Some guy named Dibs, and from what Grandmama and Felony Carl said, Dibs was a lousy thief, and he has major insecurity issues. He must've grabbed Honey's Chem purse thinking it had money in it.

Fred: Huh...OK then!

Hiro: *To Honey Lemon* You're new Chem purse is almost ready Honey Lemon.

Honey Lemon: *Sigh*

*Gogo walks to sit beside Honey Lemon*

Gogo: Hey that's good news! Right? Now you can come up with something to stop Dib- I mean Globby.

Honey Lemon: *Deadpan* I'll give it a shot...I guess.

Gogo: Cheering people up isn't really my thing, but... Be happy! Because even though you feel terrible everything's actually great!

Honey Lemon: *Sigh* You're right... it's really not your thing.

Cora: *To Gogo with a small smile* I give you an A for effort.

Baymax: Honey Lemon. It's is OK to be sad sometimes. There there.

*Baymax hugs Honey Lemon and pats her head*

Honey Lemon: Crying is pointless. It's time to face the darkness of reality.

*Honey Lemon went to work as to figure out the proper chemical compound to turn Globby back to Dibs.*

Honey Lemon: I need to create a compound to break down Dibs' physical lasting properties.

Fred: Hypothetically, science term, if someone in this room didn't know the meaning of this ugh.. this ugh.. this

Honey Lemon: Ugh. I'm gonna make an unsticky ball.

Fred: I named the monster-

Honey Lemon: Ugh. Not enough Tripropylene, beaker's half empty.

Gogo: It's half full! Ugh...Can't believe I just said that.

Cora: Umm *Whispers to Hiro* I'm not the only person creeped out by Honey Lemon's new all-serious and no-nonsense persona right?

Hiro: Nope, *puts an arm around Cora to bring her closer to him* you are definitely not alone.

Wasabi: Agreed.

*The afternoon soon gave way to the evening sun as a small diner is currently housing Dibs and Felony Carl while the customers run for their lives*

Dibs: And then I made a totally pre-planned escape by getting hit by a bus.

Felony Carl: Yeah, nice move.

Dibs: So things are going pretty great. Albeit the one little hiccup is I can't really control my mutated body. Here watch me try to get that spoon.

*Dibs swings his hand but it breaks through the window, hits a car causing it's horn the start honking and grabs a cat and brings it to the table. And then said cat attacks him*

Dibs: Nice kitty. Nice Kitty!

*Felony Carl grabs the cat from Dibs*

Felony Carl: You're even worse being a monster than you were a thief.

*Dibs' frustration shows through the neurotransmitter beeping*

Felony Carl: What's that thing with the blinking lights where your forehead should be?

Dibs: Oh that? It's a billion dollar invention that's supposed to control stuff.

Felony Carl: Could it control your morph-less yet still repulsive body?

Dibs: Maybe, I don't know how it works.

*At that moment a bus is stopping outside the diner featuring Krei's face and his latest item*

Dibs: *pointing at the picture* But he does!

Felony Carl: *Cuddling and feeding the cat a scone* Cool, you wanna split a scone?

*At the same time Krei is in his office posing for a sculpture at Krei Tech*

Krei: Could you speed this along? I'm out of things to think about.

*Just then Dibs came crashing through the window and grabs the sculpture, jumping back outside. Course there was only a moment of confusion before Dibs jumps back in and places the sculpture back*

Dibs: Wrong person.

*Dibs then finally grabs the real Alistair Krei and jumps out the broken window again.*

Hiro: Honey Lemon, how is that un-sticky ball coming along?

Honey Lemon: *Now gloomy* Ugh who knows... the good news is I haven't ruined another person's life in the last half hour.

Fred: That's pretty gloomy for good news Honey Lemon.

Hiro: Baymax, is there anything in your data banks that can help here?

Baymax: Research shows that a pleasant image can improve a negative mood.

*Just then one of Honey Lemon's butterflies lands on Baymax's head*

Baymax: I will search for a pleasant image.

Gogo: I think you already found it. *Gesturing to two more butterflies that were joining the first one by landing on Baymax too* I'd say that's a sign.

Honey Lemon: *Back to being serious and no-nonsense* More like a coincidence.

Baymax: *To butterflies* Hello, I am Baymax.

*Cora takes out her phone and takes a picture of Baymax interacting with the butterflies thinking it is so sweet and cute.*

Gogo: But you love adorable nonsense.

Honey Lemon: I'm not into nonsense anymore.

Wasabi: Uh guys? I think we should watch this.

*Their attention is turned to a computer showing the latest news where the reporter is talking with Lois Carter the secretary.*

Lois: Our CEO Alistair Krei was taken from his office through that window by the monster we've all agree to call Globby.

News-reporter: Is there anything you like to say to your boss if he's watching?

Lois: Mr. Krei if you're watching, we're keeping you in our thoughts and...also I'm going home early you approved it last week.

*The tower glows brightly against the night sky as Dibs climbs up with Krei stuck to his back*

Krei: This is unacceptable, I'm rich! I'm connected... *He then notices how far the ground is from way up there* This is high. This is very high! Are you crazy?!

Dibs: Just tell me how your fancy headband thing works and I'll let you go!

*As soon as they reached the top Dibs puts Krei on the roof's floor while Dibs exposes the neurotransmitter within him.*

Krei: Hey that's my neurotransmitter it's worth billions give it back!

*Krei tries to remove the neurotransmitter out of Dibs' head.*

Dibs: Hey! Get out of my head!

*Just then the news helicopter flies up to witness the action.*

News-reporter: This is Bluff Dunder bringing you monster watch live in the sky!

*The wind swings Dibs' elastic head to drop Krei off the edge of the roof while still clinging to him. Then he finally swings him back to the roof*

Dibs: I might drop you if I can't control my body with your invention!

Krei: There's nothing to learn! Just think! Can you think? And it will naturally work!

Dibs: Yeah but nothing comes naturally to me.

*Just then Big Hero 7 arrives to the scene to face off Dibs and rescue Krei.*

Krei: Ha ha! Big Hero Seven! Ah you could have gotten here sooner! But uh, you could work on that!

Gogo: You might want to save the critique until after we rescue you.

Wasabi: Your disgusting reign of terror stops now Globby!

*Wasabi launches forward to attack Dibs but he swings his hand to throw goo. Wasabi cuts through the goo but it splatters Baymax's helmet.*

Hiro: Baymax!

Baymax: My visual sensors are impaired.

Wasabi: Nobody does that to Baymax and gets away with it!

*Wasabi runs towards Dibs, but Dibs swings his hands like whips trying to hit Wasabi. Wasabi avoids them but nearly falls off the tower until he regains his balance back.*

Wasabi: *Whispers terrified as he backs away from the edge* So high...

Wasabi then runs back to the others and than grabs on tightly to the purple-lit up pole behind them now realizing just how high up they really were now.

Cora: Hold on, don't you think we should talk to Dib-

*A bright spotlight shines on them from the helicopter.*

Dunder: Big Hero Seven just joined Globby on the roof. You can count on Bluff Dunder for second-by-second updates on this developing situation.

Honey Lemon: Dibs, this will make you not sticky!

Dunder: What kind of name is Dibs?

Dibs: Stay back! You're upsetting the monster!

Hiro: Let Krei go!

Krei: Wording people!

Dibs: Everyone just be quiet!

Wasabi: Can we just do this? Some of us don't wanna splatter all over the ground!

Dibs: Oh I've been making a lot of bad decisions lately.

Baymax: He is in need of positive reinforcement.

*The rest of the gang turned to Honey Lemon*

Honey Lemon: Don't look at me.

Gogo: But super positivity is your thing!

Dunder: Super heroes appear to be working out some personal issues.

Gogo: We don't need another glass half empty girl. I've got that covered.

Honey Lemon: Yeah...

Gogo: Your ridiculously up beat attitude takes some getting used too, but it's good for me.

Honey Lemon: Thanks Gogo. You're the best!

*The two girls finally make up by giving each other a hug.*

Gogo: Now make that freak of nature feel good about himself!

Baymax: That sounded like an excellent pep talk.

*Honey Lemon turns to Dibs*

Honey Lemon: Listen Dibs, I knows things look bad now but there's always a silver lining. You can make this work!

Dunder: The hero says there's a silver lining for the monster. Seems like a stretch to this reporter.

Dibs: Oh come on nobody believes in me. Why would you? You don't even know me!

Honey Lemon: Before, you were just a common purse thief. Now if you dedicate yourself to making best out of the situation, you can truly be special.

Cora: She has a point you know. You can either mope and feel terrible about everything that happened to you, or you can stand up and make good things happen yourself.

Honey Lemon: Nobody else has your...abilities!

Dibs: You think?

Honey Lemon: I know.

Dibs: You're right! This is a new beginning for me.

*Dibs drops Krei to the floor*

Krei: Very touching, but I want my prototype back!

*Krei grabs the unsticky ball from Honey Lemon.*

Dunder: Get in there, we need a better shot!

*But The force of the wind caused by the helicopter made Krei loose his footing and fall off the tower. It was then Dibs' time to shine.*

Dibs: I AM SPECIAL!

*Dibs' elastic body launches forward to catch Krei and bounce back to the safety of the roof*

Krei: This is a little awkward... Thanks... I guess...

Dibs: Thank her. She believed in me.

*Dibs places Krei on the ground while said hostage walks away*

Dibs: My days of being a loser-small-time-purse-snatcher are behind me.

Honey Lemon: That's right! You're better than that!

Dibs: I am... and that's why I gonna be a Super Villain!

Honey Lemon: No! That's really not-

Dibs: The world will come to fear the name Globby!

*Globby laughs maniacally as he launches himself off the tower with a boost of confidence like never before.*

Krei: He stole my wallet!

Fred: He just robbed the richest man in San Fransokyo? I think he's gonna make the super villain thing work!

*Globby continues to laugh maniacally as he swings across the buildings out of sight...until he slammed straight into a window. At the tower Honey Lemon looks like she's about to revert to her serious and no-nonsense persona again but Cora wasn't having it as she pulls her phone out and starts rapidly sending a text to Honey Lemon.*

Cora: Oh no we're not doing this again!

*Hiro goes over to his girlfriend to see what she's up to and when he sees what she has on her phone and what she plans to do with it, his eyes widen and becomes concerned*

Hiro: *Whispers to her so the others don't overhear* Ahhh..C-cora, a-are you sure that's a wise idea? 'Cause I'm pretty positive Gogo's not gonna be happy with you if you go through with this.

Cora: *Non-wavering determination while still preparing her text* Hiro, don't think me crazy for this. But I would much rather face Gogo's wrath than have to deal with Honey Lemon's All-serious, no-nonsense persona again! And if this is gonna keep her from going into that state again, than I say Bring. It. On. Gogo! *Pushes the 'Send' button and sends her text to Honey Lemon while Hiro cringes over this and silently prays that this won't end with Gogo and his girlfriend going at each other over this. Yeah right, like that'll actually do any good*

*Honey Lemon then felt her phone buzz in her pocket. When she picks it up and opens up Cora's text she gasps then smiles widely. Curious over Honey Lemon's sudden good mood, Gogo leaned over to see a picture of her fast asleep and cuddled up in Baymax's arms from earlier today.*

Gogo: *Shocked with embarrassment* Wha-But- How?!

*But then she sees Honey Lemon's eyes glitter over the adorable picture and just sighs and keeps quiet about it, giving a small smile to Honey Lemon's ever upbeat and sunshine attitude.*

[creepyscritches]

So, I think I’m ready to lay my cards on the table. Bad news that I’m turning good with as much strength that I can muster. This got a lot longer than I planned, so I’ve tucked it beneath a readmore.

Last month my new job ran out of enough sustainable work to justify continuing my recent hire and gave me the axe on the last day of my first 90 days. It really shook me up and hit me hard in my professional self esteem to say the least. On top of the panic of losing a steady income at a new job I loved, I also lost my healthcare that same day, which to someone with a progressive autoimmune disease...that’s scary. They didn’t plan this to happen and it was unfortunate all around and left me with glowing references to aid me in my job search. I still see them as a loving group of people, but things happen and life happens.

Aside the shock, I’ve been dealing with a lot of embarrassment and shame that logically I know is unfounded, but that’s just how you react to this kind of stuff sometimes. This is why I’ve been pushing my Ko-fi and the wonderfully kind help all of you have given me has really kept me in a good place emotionally and that’s honestly more valuable than any money sent to me. I have pretty constant self harm and suicidal thoughts that surface multiple times a day for the past 10 years and to actually feel a genuine flood of warmth is just...idk it’s something that always feels unattainable, so when someone gifts me with kindness it’s an out of body sense of gratitude and vitality. Honestly, thank you.

The day I got home after losing my job, I asked for a bunch of requests and being able to connect with all of you and have fun drawing really was a miracle in how calm and reassured I felt. I know a lot of you follow me because you enjoy my funny art and I want to attest that I love making things that you love. Seeing excited comments or tags on my art really warms my heart and I feel a drive to make people smile even when things are dark for me--making happiness for people is my deepest form of self care. I’m glad y’all are here and I’m glad I can make you smile or laugh with my silly sense of humor.

My response to emergencies is usually to become numb and efficient; to be cold, calculating, and logical in an endeavor to resolve issues and tie up loose ends. Usually in situations like this, I only have to maintain this for short bursts like an emergency call or acting as a shield while I extract someone from a toxic environment, but this is more long term and it’s possible to weather me down if I keep focused on just the giant problem of finding a job.

Because of this, I’ve forcibly stepped back and observed the entirety of my circumstances and found that this period of unemployment has given me a real opportunity to address things I’ve shoved to the side out of fear of dealing with them. 

I got my mantra of “Be kind to yourself” tattooed over my left arm’s self harm scars in braille as a physical reminder to myself to treat myself like I am compelled to treat others. I’ve found myself running my fingers over the braille more and more recently and had some deep talks of encouragement with myself to take the first steps and observe what makes me better and to finally open up little by little and ask for help personally--to allow myself to be vulnerable. It’s not scary to be a shoulder for those who need it and to share my experiences with those who come to me for help with self harm, trauma, suicide, and abuse. It’s instinctual to be the warm safety these people need, but it’s personally terrifying for me to put myself in the role of the one asking for help.

I don’t think I’m a rare breed of person at all when it comes to being kind and offering guidance and dispelling fears of judgement, but this idea that when I finally come to someone that I’ll be judged, seen as lesser, and horrifyingly put in the same light I see myself in in someone I love’s eyes halts me in my tracks. It’s crippling mental illness, I know, but an illness is characterized by the fact that it can grip you against your will. Whether your kidneys fail or your legs slowly stop or your mind tells you you’re worthless, it’s out of your willpower’s control and that knowledge is exquisitely maddening and devastating. My fears are results of a diseased vital organ and that’s an immense weight to push past. I can only hope to crawl before I walk and aspire to eventually run, even with musings of how to kill myself later that day fogging up my vision.

I know art makes me happy. I know people smiling from my efforts makes me happy. I know crying with relief despite the walls blocking me from crying makes me happy. I know when people tell me they love me and miss me when I’m gone makes me happy. I want to know what else makes me happy; not just entertained or distracted, but truly warmly saturated with goodness.

Cooking for friends makes me glad I’m here and when my mom excitedly calls me just to hear my voice makes my emotions positively radiant. Having vacuumed carpets, freshly scrubbed bathrooms, and a spotless kitchen brings me joy, but I’ve learned a cluttered mayhem of art supplies and sketches at my work space makes me inspired and encouraged, so I accept some messiness is good for me while I need to remember that I feel great when I muscle through cleaning other aspects of my home. Hiding my shortcomings or misfortunes from people makes my gut feel full of sandpaper, but I’m teaching myself person by person that confiding in loved ones and being vulnerable truly only makes me feel weightless and that things are going to be okay.

I opened up to my mother about how frighteningly severe my mental illness is last week. She knows I’ve struggled with self harm for over a decade and that I have problems with taking leaps, but I’ve kept my scarier symptoms closely guarded from her my entire life. I finally told her that I can’t remember a day I haven’t thought about killing myself, even if I had been having a fun time. I told her that I can’t stop a constant barrage of thoughts that tell me I don’t need to be here, that I’m a waste, a failure, or that I’m just disgusting inside and out. I finally told her how helpless and scared I feel constantly and how I’ve been convinced I’m going to be my own cause of death since I was 10 or 11 years old. I’d never laid myself bare like that and I finally confessed that’s why my countless therapists haven’t been able to help since I couldn’t bring myself to admit the ugliest parts of myself and instinctively protected myself behind a shield of compensating and presenting as a successful determined prized student or career woman instead.

She treated me like I treat others who come to me with the same fears. It felt like a wall shattered and I could see the outside world for the first time. It felt like...I don’t know how to put it...like the world actually did include me in its count and it was faulty logic to think I’d always be the one left out of situations good or bad. She helped me look for some potential therapists and even offered to pay for my appointments, and she acted as a second opinion on possibly exploring the disability route for all this. But most importantly, she didn’t cry or panic like I’d always been afraid of making her do. She was the stability I need and held my hand through decisions and tasks and affirmed that my state is something unbelievably difficult. Idk, she just really made me feel strong when I feel so weak, you know?

I keep looking for things that make me feel happiness even in small amounts where it never was before. This week I discovered that hanging all my wall art makes me feel at home and glad to be awake to see it all. I spent about 30 minutes marveling over my mother’s incredible cross-stitch art that I’ve had in every home I’ve lived in since I was born. My favorite is an enormous jaguar against a black background, slinking from behind foliage, and looking piercingly to the distance behind the edges of the frame. I’ve loved it since I was little and I can’t believe I forgot how much warmth it gives me.

Looking around my home I always think about how much I love cacti, succulents especially, but have never bought any since I can’t keep plants alive to save my life. Sometimes the simplest answers are the last you think of: artificial plants. Even though I don’t have the money to do so now, I’ve been building wishlists of potted cacti, succulents, ivy, and flowers and mentally placing them around my home and I feel happy just imagining that I can have that environment eventually.

While mentally mapping out the plants, I realized I don’t ever hang my own art I love creating. In high school I used to make giant wall pieces but stopped when I moved out on my own, but now I think I’d like to feel the satisfaction of making a big piece and actually displaying it, even if it’s just for me to enjoy. There’s an exhilarating adrenaline rush to realize I can buy some canvases and create the big pieces of lounging felines and animals again and there’s nothing stopping me from spending a small amount of money on some canvas.

This whole time I’ve been looking for work, I’ve been mainly trying to be truly happy. I’m making little steps, but I feel amazing and full of life like those permanently thriving artificial cacti I’ve been fawning over. I’m going to be better, even if I stumble backwards, I’m going to always remember to put my foot back down and take another stride.

Times are rough, but I truthfully feel better than when they were good.

[tippytoe-creepin]

Firefly

Part one:

“I’m sorry I have to go.” she said quickly as she fiddled with her ring that fit perfectly on her middle finger. “Please Elfie, don’t. Don’t leave.” Jack pleaded taking a step closer to her. His tall frame shadowed over Elfie’s small, fragile one. “Jack, stop.” Elfie demanded bringing her tightly held hands to the middle of her chest. Ignoring her wishes Jack moved closer to her. The uneasiness flooded Elfie’s body as she began to shake. “Goddamn it Elthel Gray, do you not understand how much I love you? Can’t you see what you’re doin’ to me? You’re drivin’ me crazy!” Jack said deeply as he moved towards her, “You leave me... and-and.. you’ll be dead. I swear to fucking god I will find you and I will kill you.” He hissed making her move into the corner of the closed store that Jack and his family ran. The only source of light was coming from the back room as the sun slowly started to set. Elfie started to fold into herself before the blow of Jacks fits hit her.

She let out a small whimper has she saw him cock his arm back before punching her in her side, making her collapse to the floor. As he began to kick her the door’s bell went off. “What the hell.” He mumbled under his breathe as he stopped, stood up straight, and fixed his work shirt before retreating to the front of the store. Leaving Elfie lay there gasping for air. “I’m sorry sir, but we’re closed right now.” Jack said sternly to the man who was eye level and slightly bigger than he was. Looking out the corner of his eye the man noticed Elfie laying on the ground. “I’m sorry man, my car broke down a little up the road. This was the only place that I came across that seemed like it was open. I was just wondering if you had a phone I could call a tow truck or something? My phone died and for some reason this dead ass town has not pay-phones anywhere.” The man talked calmly as he watched Jack move around the counter. “Yeah, lemme go grab it from the back office.” Jack said as he disappeared into the back room.

The man tilted his head to the side to get a better look at Elfie who was still trying to move. He turned his body towards her, looking over his shoulder making sure Jack wasn’t coming; he made his way over to Elfie. “Hey, you okay kid?” He asked kneeling down to Elfie. She hung her head down trying to keep her balance, “I-I just lost one of my contacts, no biggie.”

“Did you loose it before or after that fucker hit you?” The man asked as he helped Elfie to her feet. “H-he didn’t-“

“Save it sweets, my car didn’t break down. I heard him yelling as I drove by.”

Elfie looked at him dumbfounded and couldn’t get another word out to justify what was going on. “C’mon, you aren’t staying here.” He said as he grabbed her hand dragging her down the isle to get to the front of the store.

As they reached the door, Jack returned to them. “Here you-” He looked at them both unable to speak anything else. “Next time you feel the need to hit a little lady, let me know. So I can hit you instead.” Elfie’s eyes widen at what the man had just said to Jack. The whole town walks around blindly on eggshells when it comes to the Hastings family. They got away with everything. “I think you better watch your mouth there, you don’t know who you’re dealing with.” Jack chuckled as he got closer to them. The stranger pulled Elfie behind him before Jack could grab her away from him. “I don’t give a fuck who you are. All I see is a coward who beats on weak innocent women. That shit doesn’t fly with me.” “Elfie, get over here.” Jack demanded ignoring what the man just said to him. Frozen, Elfie didn’t move, her eyes didn’t leave Jack’s, and her hand was still gripping the mans right hand as she hid behind him. Jack moved to try and grab her once again, making the man push her back further behind him. He shoved Jack away before throwing a punch that knocked Jack right on his ass.

Blood began to drip from Jack’s nose as his hand reached for it, “You’ll regret that.” Jack smirked. “I doubt that.” The man said before laying him out again. Jacks head slammed into the tiled floor as the store’s door opened. The man walked quickly practically dragging Elfie along side him. He looked behind him noticing she was limbing. He stopped dead in his tracks before flinging Elfie over his shoulder. “I’m okay.. I can-”. “You can’t walk. Man, you’re a terrible liar.” He said as he started to walk again. It grew quite between the two as they made it back to his car. He softly put Elfie down on her feet. She stood there fiddling with her ring again. “Get in.” The man said as he held the passenger door open for her. Elfie looked at the man with hesitation in her eyes. “I’m not a creep I promise. The name’s Gunner.” He said trying to ease the situation. Swallowing hard Elfie slid into his car. Closing the door behind her, Gunner made his way to the driver side and climbed in.

He began to drive off as the awkward silence filled the car. The radio was softly playing some type of indie music that Elfie never heard of. “So it’s Elfie?” Gunner asked trying to break the silence. “It’s Elthel, but everyone calls me Elfie.” She said quietly. “I’m gonna call you El instead. I can’t take you serious as ‘Elfie’ and Elthel is like someone’s Grandmother.” Gunner laughed a little as he slowly stopped at a red light. Elfie looking at him side eyed, “Kay...” she whispered to herself. She turned her attention back to the window watching the older buildings pass them as he started to drive again.

Elfie had just turned twenty years old, a few weeks prior celebrating it along side her boyfriend, Jack and his friends. As their relationship progressed after high school she slowly began leaving her other friends for Jack. As he always told her they weren’t good for his image and if she wanted to be with him she had to worry about how she looked as well. That meant abandoning her dreams, the way she looked, the way she acted, who she was...

Elfie looked at herself in the side mirror of Gunners car, unable to recognize herself. A wave of grief washed over her.

Who am I?

Who have I become?

Her mind racing. She jumped as Gunner lightly touched her shoulder bringing her back to reality. “You okay?” Gunner asked as he slowly moved his hand away. Elfie looked at him with tears in her eyes. “Aw shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!” Gunner said frantically. Shaking her head at him, Elfie’s eyes fell to her hands that laid still in her lap.

“You’re fine Gunner... You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Gunner sat there still turned to El, unsure to say anything else. He watched her sit there not moving in the slightest. He studied her. Her face, the way her long brown hair draped over her shoulder, how she moved gracefully, the way she messes with the only ring she wore, her pale skin that had perfectly placed freckles on her shoulders and cheeks, and her soft voice that echoed through his head. She was the complete opposite of him. Gunner looked away from her and looked down at his own hands. His large hands compared to hers, he wore more rings; one for almost each of his fingers. His short hair was pitch black, and the over grown top was pushed back from his face. His skin was darker than hers from being out in the sun constantly and covered in scars that made him look like a road map.

Gunner cleared his throat before looking over at El again, “Are you hungry...? I stopped at this diner. I dunno if it’s any good-”

“Let’s go.” Elfie slightly smiled at him before opening her door. Gunner blinked a few times confusingly feeling his cheeks get warm before climbing out of the car behind her. As they made their way to the door, Gunner held it open as Elfie ducked under his arm and walked in. Walking past her, Gunner motioned her to the booth in the corner of the restaurant away from the other couples and families that sat cheerfully. He plopped down into the booth as Elfie lightly slide into the seat.

Moments later a waitress made her was to their table, “What can I start you cuties out with? Coffee? Soda?” She smiled.

“Coffee for me and?” Gunner looked over at Elfie waiting for her to answer. “Oh um, hot chocolate please.” She said glancing up at the waitress. “You got it.” The waitress said before walking away.

“Really? Hot chocolate? It’s in the middle of August.” He smirked.

“What is the difference between you’re choice and mine? They’re both hot?”

“Woah, finally! El does have a voice and a sassy one at that.” Gunner lightly clapping his hands together, applauding El. A small smile crept across her face, trying not to laugh at him. “Oh and a smile! Hot damn.” Gunner laughed.

They grew quiet after the waitress returned with their drinks and left with their order. The chatter of others filled the silence as Gunner watched Elfie stir her hot chocolate with her spoon. “I, I just want to say thank you... for you know...” she said quietly focusing on her drink. “It’s not a big deal, anyone woulda done the same-“

“No.. not around here..” El said as she took a sip of her drink. Gunner furrowed his brows at El. Her brown eyes met his, “If you didn’t show up, he would have kept going. If anyoneelse would have passed by, they wouldn’t have stopped him.”

Gunner looked at her in disbelief, “I get there’s some shady people out here but-“

El shook her head, “This town is basically ran by Jack’s family.” She stated before taking a sip. Gunner ran his fingers through his hair as he leaned back into the booth. Flabbergasted, Gunner was silent. He couldn’t wrap his head around the face that an entire small town was scared of a man and his family.

Gunner traveled and constantly moving from city to city throughout the country and even after seeing all the fucked up people he came across through his job. Jack was nothing, but an angry toddler who hated not getting his way. He shook his head and smirked as he took a sip of his coffee. “I’ve seen worse. Jack is the last thing that’d ever scare me. The boogie man is scarier than he is.” He laughed. El watched Gunner as he went on talking about things that are far more worse than Jack, but to her; Jack was far more worse than the boogie man. Maybe even the devil.

_______________________________________________

Walking out of the diner, Gunner moved the tooth pick in his mouth with his lips. “Thank you for the meal, Gunner.” El said softly as they reached his car. “Don’t mention it.” He said flashing her a smile as he climbed into his car. El stood there slowly starting to feel her face get warm, but quickly shaked it off as she climbed into the passenger seat once again. Gunner turned the key, hearing the engine rev up, he looked over to El who was sitting still just as before. “It’s getting late, do you have anywhere to go that you’ll be safe tonight?”

El turned her head a little as she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, “There’s a bus stop up a head, you can-“

“Let me stop you there, I’m not dropping you off at some bus stop when I can easily take you myself.” Gunner said cutting her off, “Really, it’s fine. Now where too sweets?” He continued as he smiled at her again. El looked at him and smiled back before looking away. “Um, yeah... My Dad’s house is about 20 minutes from here.”

“Just tell me the way.”