#now that im getting older and my body is doing Weird Shit i just lament being 20 and fit and all my bits and bobs went the right ways

[snakedogge]

being ok with being ugly simultaneously wishing there was at least one person smitten with the way you look

[roughentumble]

jaskier, laying down, collapsed dramatically on the couch, laments being boring now, asking if he's really plain and uninteresting and crumudgeonly and old like-- like--

"me?" geralt asks sardonically

jaskier ignores his tone and just emphatically is like YES EXACTLY. oh gods am i like YOU?

"perish the thought." geralt says, deadpan.

"but i CANT be like you, because im the yin to your yang, or-- or maybe im the yang, i dont quite know how it works, but youre the boring old man in a young man's body, and im the fun partier! i have a brand to maintain! im still young, right? im young and hip and sexy, and i go to art gallaries and raves and have exciting sex in weird places, and--"

geralt sits down on the arm of the sofa, mug in hand. "jaskier. im happy, and im not bored. youre happy, and youre not bored. what does it matter what other people think of you? what sort of image you put out? how they perceive you isnt your problem."

jaskier sighs, still a sprawl of limbs as he stares up at the ceiling. "yeah i suppose. just... i dont know. i have an image, you know?"

"fuck the image. just be happy."

jaskier hums. "well ive fucked a lot of weird things, but i dont think ive done the concept of images yet, so--"

geralt laughs, and jaskier smiles, his mood buoyed a bit by their familiar banter.

"it's not..." he admits after a moment. "its not just that other people would see me differently. its that i see MYSELF differently. my sense of self is all out of whack. who am i, without all the partying?"

geralt thinks for a moment. "youll have to figure that out for yourself." he says seriously. "but in my eyes, youre the same man you always were-- strong, and sweet, and caring, who absolutely adores ciri. the guy who helped me when i was going through some of the toughest shit in my life, the guy who's been my best friend for ages. the guy who sticks his cold feet against mine in the middle of the night."

jaskier huffs a laugh, sits up to snuggle up against geralt's side. geralt continues, voice infinitely softer as he leans into jaskier's touch. "as long as you're happy, the rest'll sort itself out. you'll find yourself." he pauses, then asks "...you are happy, right?"

jaskier takes a moment to be silent-- not brushing him off, just truly considering. he breaks into a smile, soft and sweet, and says "yeah. yeah, i really am."

he sighs again, after a moment. "just feels like all this growing up happened when i wasnt looking."

"thats how it always happens."

"well i hate it!" he pouts. "i didnt give it permission at all! i was supposed to be like peter pan, but like a slightly older, sexy peter pan, forever in his clubbing era."

geralt's eyes twinkle with amusement. "mmm. well, peter, dinner's ready, so how do you feel about eating a plate while watching an episode of fraiser?"

jaskier groans, louder than before, flopping back down on the couch dramatically. "gods above, i actually want to! whats happening to me?"

geralt snorts. says 'old man' affectionately

"no! fraiser is for everyone! its the great equalizer!" he protests, and geralt hums acquiescently, and then goes to get their plates.

"if it makes you feel any better, youre definitely still more reckless than i am." he says as he walks away

"thank you darling!" jaskier calls after him

[roughentumble]

also hey does anyone recognize the following text??? i swear to GOD i posted it, i remember it getting notes and when it was posted, and yet i CANNOT find evidence of it on my blog???

===

jaskier laments being boring now, asking if he's really plain and uninteresting and crumudgeonly and old like-- like--

"me?" geralt asks sardonically

jaskier ignores his tone and just emphatically is like YES EXACTLY. oh gods am i like YOU?

"perish the thought." geralt says, deadpan.

"but i CANT be like you, because im the yin to your yang, or-- or maybe im the yang, i dont quite know how it works, but youre the boring old man in a young man's body, and im the fun partier! i have a brand to maintain! im still young, right? im young and hip and sexy, and i go to art gallaries and raves and have exciting sex in weird places, and--"

geralt sits down on the arm of the sofa, mug in hand. "jaskier. im happy, and im not bored. youre happy, and youre not bored. what does it matter what other people think of you? what sort of /brand/ you put out? how they perceive you isnt your problem."

jaskier sighs, still a sprawl of limbs as he stares up at the ceiling. "yeah i suppose. just... i dont know. i have an image, you know?"

"fuck the image. just be happy."

jaskier hums. "well ive fucked a lot of weird things, but i dont think ive done the concept of images yet, so--"

geralt laughs, and jaskier smiles, his mood buoyed a bit by their familiar banter.

"it's not..." he admits after a moment. "its not just that other people would see me differently. its that i see MYSELF differently. my sense of self is all out of whack. who am i, without all the partying?"

geralt thinks for a moment. "youll have to figure that out for yourself." he says seriously. "but in my eyes, youre the same man you always were-- strong, and sweet, and caring, who absolutely adores ciri. the guy who helped me when i was going through some of the toughest shit in my life, the guy who's been my best friend for ages. the guy who sticks his cold feet against mine in the middle of the night."

jaskier huffs a laugh, sits up to snuggle up against geralt's side. geralt continues, voice infinitely softer as he leans into jaskier's touch. "as long as you're happy, the rest'll sort itself out. you'll find yourself." he pauses, then asks "...you are happy, right?"

jaskier takes a moment to be silent-- not brushing him off, just truly considering. he breaks into a smile, soft and sweet, and says "yeah. yeah, i really am."

jaskier sighs again, after a moment. "just feels like all this growing up happened when i wasnt looking."

"thats how it always happens."

"well i hate it!" he pouts. "i didnt give it permission at all! i was supposed to be like peter pan, but like a slightly older, sexy peter pan, forever in his clubbing era."

geralt's eyes twinkle with amusement. "mmm. well, peter, dinner's ready, so how do you feel about eating a plate while watching an episode of fraiser?"

jaskier groans, louder than before, flopping back down on the couch dramatically. "gods above, i actually want to! whats happening to me?"

geralt snorts. says 'old man' affectionately

"no! fraiser is for everyone! its the great equalizer!" he protests, and geralt hums acquiescently, and then goes to get their plates.

"if it makes you feel any better, youre definitely still more reckless than i am." he says as he walks away

"thank you darling!" jaskier calls after him